CODE M Magazine May 2023 Women's Issue

TRANSFORMING THE LIVES OF MEN

SHEILA E.: LA VIDA GLAMOROSA

Music legend, Sheila E., discusses what drives her passion for music and her future plans as she tours the country.

MAMA’S GOT A BRANDNEW BAG

+

FASHION DRESSES

WOMEN ACHIEVERS WHO ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE

INSIDE

FEMININE FORTUNE 44

Femininity is often associated with weakness, vulnerability, and dependency. However, this is far from the truth. Femininity is a powerful force that embodies strength, resilience, and compassion.

ON THE COVER

SHEILA E.: LA VIDA GLAMOROSA

Music legend, Sheila E., discusses what drives her passion for music and her future plans as she tours the

14 MASTER THE MUNDANECELEBRATE THE MAGNIFICENT

Dr. Michelle McKinney Hammond, bestselling author, wants everyone to live in their purpose. So she decided to make it her life’s work to make sure everyone finds their self-worth.

same thing.

24 MAMA’S GOT A BRAND-NEW BAG

country.

10 MOVERS AND SHAKERS

Get to know people who are making a difference in their careers and changing the world!

12 MAN CODES Confidence.

16 CODE M CELEBRATES 10 WOMEN ACHIEVERS WHO ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE

CODE M was born to showcase and highlight Black people who are making a difference for their businesses, community, and their families. We are proud to celebrate these women this month and we encourage you to do the

Black women have made incredible strides in the last 30 years. They are outpacing Black men in income, home ownership, education, and professionally. They have the bag and make no excuses for it.

28

CELEBRATING WOMEN

“I was honored to be featured on the front cover of CODE M magazine a few months ago with my wife as we discussed marriage and money. We were amazed with all the positive responses from readers, across America and even other countries.“

AFRICA’S HOTTEST NEWCOMER

The world stage shrinks when a generational artist hits the stage. Africa’s Tyla is setting the recording industry on fire and creating a whole new fan base.

40 THE EVER-CHANGING WOMEN’S MOVEMENT

Throughout history, women have struggled to live, work, and play on a level playing field with men. It still ain’t happenin’.

50 THE BEAUTY IN THE JOURNEY

The CODE M Health section has encouraged empowered men to dominate this year through no equipment and no -cost physical and wellness information and routines. Men or women can significantly enhance their lives by reading the articles and implementing the calls to action. This month, may we shift the paradigm and adhere to the nourishment of women.

54 LIVING IN THE MOMENT

Avery Sunshine has found her groove, post-pandemic, by falling back in love with her writing, her music, her fans, and the journey of this thing called life.

60 FASHION DRESSES

As summer approaches, women will have the opportunity to shine in amazing summer dresses. Nothing better than stepping out in fashion.

PUBLISHER

Bilal S. Akram

PRESIDENT

Brad J. Bowling

SENIOR ADVISOR

Alexandria Johnson Boone

MANAGING EDITOR

David Christel

PAGE EDITORS

Anthony Kirby-Lifestyles

Laron Harlem-Fashion

Paris Lampkins-Movers & Shakers

GRAPHIC DESIGN

Stiff Arm Media

MEDIA COORDINATOR

Carole Anthony

EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT

To the PUBLISHER

Ladonna “Lala” Dicks

DIRECTOR OF RADIO/PODCAST

Anita Butler

RADIO/PODCAST HOSTS

Darrell Scott

Grace Roberts

ENGINEER RADIO/PODCAST

Imari Hill

SOCIAL MEDIA

Rachel Woods

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES

David Williams

Kevin Jones

IT CONSULTANT

Anthony Jones

Digital Jetstream, LLC

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

David Christel

Leslie Logan

Brad J. Bowling

Garrett Wallers

Bilal S. Akram

Laron Harlem

Bolling Smith

Chris Matthews

Anthony Kirby

nce Burnley

CODE MEDIA GROUP LLC

STAFF

Sharif Akram

#CODEMAGINTL

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TRANSFORMING CODE M Magazine was created to be a guiding force in creating a dialogue for black men everywhere. Code M focuses on the conversations of advancement, mental health, career choices, the political landscape and relationships that define and shape the lives of black men everywhere.

CEO AND CFO: BILAL AKRAM bilal.akram@codemediagroupllc.com 216-695-0911 PRESIDENT: BRAD BOWLING brad.bowling@codemediagroupllc.com 440-796-5763 ADVERTISING: KEVIN JONES kevin.jones@codemedialgroupllc.com 216-926-3999

ALICIA ROBINSON

Dream-Believe-Achieve isn't just Limitless Ambition's motto, it's the mindset that fuels Executive Director, Alicia Robinson. Alicia began with a vision of empowering a generation of young women that would one day change the world. The first-generation college graduate walked away from a career in fashion to pursue her purpose and grew the seed of an idea into Limitless Ambition, a fully-functioning non-profit organization that changes the way young women dream of their futures. Limitless Ambition has empowered over 5,000 young women through teen enrichment programs, women's empowerment events, and by do-

nating care packages to young girls in foster care. Additionally, Alicia serves as the Director of Community Engagement and Partnerships at Summit Education Initiative an organization with a goal to increase personal and regional prosperity through educational attainment. Alicia holds a Master's Degree in Human Development and Family Studies and a Bachelor's Degree in Fashion Merchandising from Kent State University. She currently serves on the Greater Akron Chamber Women's Leadership Council, The United Way of Summit County Board of Directors.

Get to know people who are making a difference in their careers and changing the world!

CURTIS MINTER, JR.

Curtis Minter, Jr. was born and raised in Akron, Ohio where he still resides today. For nearly a decade, he has led in the local nonprofit sector that quickly snowballed into a lifelong commitment of serving others through urban revitalization, economic development, and social enterprising. In doing so, Curtis learned how to explore these uses in an effort to problem solve and better conditions for his community.

Curtis joined senior management at The Well Community Development Corporation where he is primarily responsible for asset management, driving community engagement, and operations. Recent history, he launched his own freelance consulting business to continue his desire to socially engineer change in his community in the spirit of Charles Hamilton Houston.

DEONTE GIBSON

Deonte Gibson is currently the Defensive Line Coach/Run Game Coordinator for Youngstown State University. In 2020, he was named to 24/7 Sports “30 under 30” coaches. The young veteran coach has produced and recruited multiple All Conference Players, as well as maintaining at least a 3.0 academically within his rooms as a coach.

Along with his wife Dominique of three years, he attended Northwestern University with an undergraduate degree in Communication Studies, as well as a Master’s Degree in Integrated Marketing Communications. Deonte is also a member of Omega Psi Phi, Incorporated.

JASON “NATO” LOUISSAINT

My name is Jason "Nato" Louissaint, chef name is CHEFVIP or let the people say it, “Mr. VIP or ChefNato.” I'm from Canarsie, Brooklyn. Born and raised ‘til ATL adopted me later on. I've been cooking since I was 7 years of age, being mentored by loving Father Chef Marco and loving mother, as well as my grandmother and aunts.

I have 31 years total cooking with 18 years professional underneath my belt. I specialize in Haitian, Caribbean, Mediterranean, American, Italian, and a wide range of delicious authentic ethnic dishes, cuisines more Global Fusion, than anything! I love food, food is life, food is art, food can be magic, but overall, food is a blessing. To be talented in this field and industry and love it wholeheartedly with every once of you is passion.

WOMAN CODES: CONFIDENCE

Compiled by Bilal S. Akram

"The woman who doesn’t require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet." - Mohadesa Najumi

“I am a woman and a warrior. If you think I can't be both, you've been lied to.” - Jennifer

Zeynab Joukhadar

“Start unknown, finish unforgettable.” - Misty Copeland

”Don’t listen to those who say YOU CAN’T. Listen to the voice inside yourself that says, I CAN.” - Shirley

Chisolm

"Learn to be quiet enough to hear the genuine in yourself, so that you can hear it in others." - Marian Wright

Edelman

"I’m convinced that we Black women possess a special indestructible strength that allows us to not only get down, but to get up, to get through, and to get over." - Janet

Jackson

"Trust yourself. Think for yourself. Act for yourself. Speak for yourself. Be yourself. Imitation is suicide." - Marva Collins

"The kind of beauty I want most is the hard-to-get kind that comes from within – strength, courage, dignity." - Ruby Dee

"I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept." - Angela Davis

"I don’t have to be perfect. All I have to do is to show up and enjoy the messy, imperfect, and beautiful journey of mine."

- Kerry Washington

"Mistakes are a fact of life. It is the response to the error that counts." - Nikki

Giovanni

"Even if it makes others uncomfortable, I will love who I am."

- Janelle Monáe

Proverbs 14:1 (1) “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” NIV

Ruby Dee

Dr. Michelle McKinney Hammond, bestselling author, wants everyone to live in their purpose. So she decided to make it her life’s work to make sure everyone finds their selfworth.

Men today are beset with so many conditions, admonitions, and judgments about who they’re supposed to be and how to act yet still, be themselves, still be a man. Surrounded by so much turmoil and confusion, it’s very challenging for a man to aspire to any level of confidence in his identity and sense of self-worth and power.

Dr. Michelle McKinney Hammond, a best-selling author, lecturer, and relationship coach, feels that one of the primary reasons men are struggling is that they haven’t discovered their unique purpose in life. As she puts it, “We each exist for a reason, and everyone is ‘in purpose,’ whether they’re consciously aware of it or not.” Being “in purpose” is not some-

MASTER THE MUNDANECELEBRATE THE MAGNIFICENT ACC STRONG

Written by DAVID CHRISTEL

thing many people are familiar with.

“I think a lot of times people think that they’ve got to find their purpose because there isn’t some huge, momentous thing occurring in their lives. But what it comes down to is that it’s not the magnificence that we need to master, we need to learn how to master the mundane because most of the mundane is what keeps life on track. Once we do that, we can celebrate the magnificence in our lives! When we’re in balance with that, that’s when we realize we’re in purpose, every day.”

Dr. McKinney Hammond feels being in purpose is instrumental in helping us do what we were born to do. Things will fall into place if we just take the wheel every single day be in purpose and apply ourselves to what’s in front of us. We’ll

eventually reach our goals and realize our vision and dreams. But African American men today, see so much craziness going on around them that they’re afraid to walk around the block or even pull into someone’s driveway just to turn their car around. Despite that, she feels that a person can’t stay trapped in their home all day, every day, because they’re afraid of what might happen when they step outside even though there are plenty of good reasons to be fearful.

“Men need to have a do-or-dare mentality. None of us knows what tomorrow will bring. We don’t have control over that. We just have to decide to live every day, to live our best life every day. Do you and let the chips fall where they may.” She also feels that men don’t really know their worth and power and are therefore always seeking validation.

“If you’re comfortable with yourself, then do you with no explanations, no apologies. Just show up, be your authentic self because people respect authentic people. You know, the only way you can be understood and accepted is to be authentic, be the real you.”

What she finds extremely helpful is asking ourselves the allimportant questions: Who am I and what do I truly value? She states that at some point, we have to sit with ourselves and figure out if what we’re doing and the people we’ve surrounded ourselves with are conducive to our well-being, growth, and plans. “Many people are afraid to do that because they’re afraid of what they’ll hear or discover. But they may end up pleasantly surprised.”

She adds that we also need to have compassion for ourselves because we all make mistakes and stumble. The question is: How are we going to fix it? Whatever it is, it isn’t irreparable, it’s not written in stone, and it’s not the end of the world. In this process, we’re becoming empowered, but we need to not just focus on empowerment for ourselves. We need to empower our family members, co-workers, and our communities.

“When we talk about empowerment, it has to be empowerment for all. It’s a 360-degree view.”

To achieve self-empowerment, both men and women are encouraged to become masters of themselves because they’re the only ones who can. She feels that we each need to grasp the significance of what we do on a daily basis, first about ourselves and then how our actions affect others.

“The first thing we have to do is face facts. Life, the entire system, is designed to make life hard that’s the reality. Nobody’s going to do you favors these days. What we don’t want to do is cave in. Never give in, never give up, and never say die.

Don’t take ‘no’ for an answer. In the process, life is going to pull things up out of you that you didn’t know you have in you.”

And there’s no place for a victim mentality in this life strategy. She quotes the old adage, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” That means that once the facts are faced, the next step is to strategize, create an action plan, and don’t let the word ‘impossible’ become a part of our mindset.

It’s all about mindset, which sometimes means we have to talk to ourselves, encourage ourselves to be responsible, and to step up to the plate. We also need to have a support system, the cheerleaders and co-conspirators who will consistently back us up on our journey. Finally, we need to find people who are doing better than we are and who we can model. They will help us continually level up our game, which entails change and shifting when needed.

As it just so happens, Dr. McKinney Hammond has a new book coming out in September titled When Shift Happens: Say Yes to Your Next. It’s all about navigating change, each of us rediscovering our identity so that we can really redefine who we are, what our values are, and what that means moving forward. “I find that things are shifting so much, so quickly. And we’re being told to like, love, believe, and embrace so many different things. It’s really hard to know what we stand for anymore.”

She feels that we each need to remember that if we don’t stand for something, we’ll fall for anything. “I feel a lot of people are going against the grain of their own Souls at this point in time. They feel such tremendous societal pressure of having to line up with everybody’s mindset or they’ll get canceled.”

Her response to this is, “My heartbeat is giving people hope, giving them tools and strategies so that they can excel in whatever area they want to excel in. Don’t stop to look at where you’ve been look at where you’re going. This is what will produce fruit. It’s going to be painful in some ways but it’s going to produce some fruit that no one expected or saw coming.”

Dr. McKinney Hammond shares that it all starts here, right now, with each of us. Nobody can stop us once we get our vision clarified about what it is exactly we want to do in life. Again, we have to remember to master the mundane, then we can celebrate the magnificence in our lives. Bottom line: Master life or life will master you. There’s no room for compromise! ●

CODE M CELEBRATES 10

WOMAN ACHIEVERS WHO ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE

CODE M was born to showcase and highlight Black people who are making a difference for their businesses, community, and their families. We are proud to celebrate these women this month and we encourage you to do the same thing.

is president and CEO of The

a full service commercial construction and facilities company. Based in Cleveland, the 10-year-old, multi-million dollar firm partners with its clients to provide collaborative management and construction services through three divisions.

No matter the scale of a project, the mission is to offer solutions with the company motto in mind: Always Known As the Team you can depend on. With services ranging from commercial waterproofing, pre-construction, construction management to postconstruction, Ariane selected a team with over 50 years of general contracting, construction management, and design build experience.

Ariane Kirkpatrick

AKA Team,

- ARIANE KIRPATRICK -

Rita Bautista is passionate about elevating culture and inspiring others. This first-generation American, born to Honduran parents, has worked extensively for more than a decade, representing the Latinx culture in education, government, business, and sports.

Her journey began after graduating from the University of New Orleans and receiving a fellowship from the Institute of Politics at Loyola University in New Orleans. It continued as she served on countless civic and non-profit boards, expanding her reach and experience.

Determined to develop a way for big brands to reach first generation US Hispanics and the Latinx community through the authentic voices of podcasters, in 2019 Rita founded the Latina Podcasters, a podcast network group that includes the Latina Podcasters Network (LPN) and Latino Pods.

LP started with 30 podcasts in its network and was in its infancy when Rita lost her day job. Realizing that had to be the catalyst for her success, she used what could have been a big stumbling block to fuel her, and within two years has 50 podcasts in her network and annual revenue of over $1 million.

Dr. Belinda Kendall is a remarkable entrepreneur, healthcare expert, and media personality widely known for her impressive achievements in business, media, and healthcare.

She is currently a Managing Partner with Kendall-Williams, L.P., a prominent consulting firm, where she provides strategic guidance and leadership to help organizations achieve their goals.

Dr. Kendall's expertise and passion for media have led her to establish two successful companies, Promise Media Group, LLC, and Our Neighborhood Doctor, LLC. Promise Media Group, LLC is a multimedia production company that creates inspiring and informative content for individuals and organizations.

Our Neighborhood Doctor, LLC is a healthcare provider that educates and empowers individuals to take control of their health and wellbeing.

Dr. Kendall's outstanding achievements have been recognized by several national magazines.

Dr. Cheatham, aka Dr. C, currently serves as a board certified obstetrician and gynecologist in Southern California. Her practice includes providing emergent inpatient and routine outpatient care for underserved populations in several regions of California. She is currently exploring the addition of concierge obstetrics and gynecology services to her portfolio to provide tailored care directly to patients.

Dr. C was born in Washington, D.C. to W. Augustus and Ida Cheatham on Easter Sunday 1967. Family and friends often shared that she always wanted to be a doctor and conducted herself in such a manner. She was influenced by the international missionary stories she heard as a child, often on WGTS radio.

As time passed, the mantra: Mission starts at home, influenced her life’s work and promoted a closer walk with Jesus. Dr. C began her journey by preparing herself for a medical career at Pine Forge Academy and initiated her pre-med studies at the then Oakwood College in Huntsville, Alabama. Nurturing her blended family of four is paramount

- RITA BAUTISTA -

- MARTA CHEATHAM, MD -

LA is the founder and CEO of Per/Se Media Group, a small but mighty creative communications firm that builds brand visibility, eats the digital/social media beast, and uncovers new ways to drive revenue for leading brands. Client partners range from automotive and consumer goods to nonprofits and technology companies such as Apple & Southern Co.’s PROPEL Innovation Center, BMW, Bronner Bros., Colgate, Operation HOPE, The John Lewis Legacy Foundation, the Atlanta Beltline Partnership, and Atlanta Mayor Andre Dickens, among others.

Culled from an Oscar Wilde novel, the name Per Se sums up her ethos: “There’s only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.” For more than two decades, LA has been a trusted advisor to some of the world’s most innovative thinkers, business disruptors, and culture influencers. A crisis management expert, she has helped notable brands effectively communicate during times of chaos and change. At the height of the pandemic, LA created a fund to support Beauty & Barber industry professionals, which was largely funded by Procter & Gamble.

Dr. Woodard considers herself a Bent Arrow. She began her professional career as a sales/lubrication engineer for a major oil company. In 2005, she became an entrepreneur and president of the LDW Group LLC. In July 2017, Dr. Woodard began working fulltime in her business. During that year and the next, the LDW Group LLC won competitive multi-year bids and was selected as the One-Stop Operator for the comprehensive American Job Centers

(AJC) for CareerSource Northeast Florida (Region 8-2017-current) and CareerSource Central Florida (Region 12-2018-2021). The One-Stop Operator ensures that the AJC partners provide a seamless customer-focus delivery from services to customers who utilize the One-Stop Center.

Dr. Woodard has multiple years of experience in workforce and career development. From 2015-2017, Dr. Woodard served as the Associate VP of Workforce Education for Florida State College at Jacksonville (FSCJ).

Lily Goodwin, known by her entertainment name, DJ Lily Jade, an 8year-old disc jockey and media personality, enjoys ROCKIN’ places with music genres of Top 40, Old School Hip Hop, and R&B, or anything else you’ll find on TikTok.

DJ Lily Jade began her turntable journey in 2020 to bond with her dad (a DJ himself) during the pandemic. The young DJ quickly gained attention through her social media sets and became featured on local news outlets. DJ Lily Jade has performed at virtual activities, collegiate athletic competitions, the City of Cleveland Mayoral events, corporate events, festivals, and a Pre-Game show for the Cleveland Cavaliers.

DJ Lily Jade can be heard every Saturday morning (11 am -12 pm) on the Lily Jade Show at 95.9 FM WOVU, Cleveland. Through her radio show, she has interviewed: the likes of elected officials, athletes, female entrepreneurs, and many more. She served as a Cleveland Cavs Kid Club Jr.

- Lalohni (LA) Campbell -

- DR. LINDA D. WOODARD -

- LILY GOODWIN -

Leslie Fleuranges is the Founder, Owner, and Comforter-in-Chief of Tender Loving Care Pet Nursing Hotel, a home away from home for anxious, mature, and special needs cats and dogs. TLC also specializes in offering customized, one-on-one dog enrichment activities for pets who need socialization, and do not thrive in a group play situation.

Prior to opening this unique business in 2020, Leslie worked for 16 years as a marketing, innovation, and product development leader for Hill’s Pet Nutrition in Topeka, Kansas. She identified key market gaps and led a team in the development of innovative new products for Hill’s Science Diet and Hill’s Prescription Diet pet food product lines.

Prior to Hill’s, Leslie worked in New York City for several Fortune 500 firms as a marketing and innovation leader. Leslie arrived in Kansas City, MO to work for Hallmark Cards, where she directed a cross-functional innovation team in the $400 million Hallmark Gifts Division; and initiated, developed, and led the highlysuccessful launch of the Maya Angelou Life Mosaic Card and Gift Line.

Sheila Marmon has a passion for the launch and operation of new businesses in the digital media industry and has created innovative platforms for over 20 years. With a focus on growth markets, her expertise delivers meaningful ROI for diverse publishers, investors, and multinational clients.

As Founder + CEO of Mirror Digital, an interactive media and advertising company, she helps Fortune 500 brands tap into the fastest growing US consumer base: the multicultural market. Sheila has executed over 800 digital campaigns in this space for clients including AT&T, Clinique, Comcast, Disney, Ford, General Motors, Intel, Macy’s, Procter & Gamble, Universal Pictures, Walmart, and other leading brands.

In addition to entrepreneurship, Sheila’s multi-faceted media career includes leadership roles in operations, new ventures, and finance at Time Warner (now WarnerMedia), Morgan Stanley, and Essence Communications.

Rhonda Crowder is the CEO of Rhonda Crowder & Associates, a creative services agency that specializes in developing messaging and design strategies for marketing and fundraising campaigns. She is also the associate publisher of Who's Who in Black Cleveland, a freelance journalist, literacy advocate, and author. She published a murder-mystery titled, Riddles, in addition to writing six yet-to-be released books.

Her career started at the historic Call & Post newspaper where she worked as a general assignment reporter for over a decade after obtaining a Bachelor of Arts in English with a concentration in creative writing, editing, and publishing from Cleveland State University.

She currently serves as the president of Greater Cleveland Association of Black Journalists (GCLEABJ) and is vice president of Friendly Inn Settlement board of directors. She coordinates literacy-based initiatives across Cleveland as well.

Rhonda has been awarded a Rotary Group Study Exchange Fellowship and recognized by I CAN Schools, El Hasa Court #47 Women of the Year (2018).

- LESLIE FLEURANGES -

- RHONDA CROWDER -

MAMA’S GOT A BRAND

Black women have made incredible strides in the last 30 years. They are outpacing Black men in income, home ownership, education, and professionally. They have the bag and make no excuses for it.

One of the things borne out of the Civil Rights Movement was the desire to get more Blacks educated so the playing field could be leveled. Education was seen as a way out. Grants and financing were created to give Blacks the opportunity to pursue higher education. Black men responded by attending college in higher numbers, but Black women overwhelmingly signed up for a better life using education as the tool to get there.

Written by BRAD BOWLING

Among Black students in higher education, women are more likely than men to earn degrees: Black women get 64.1 percent of bachelor’s degrees, 71.5 percent of master’s degrees, and 65.9 percent of doctoral, medical, and dental degrees. Among students enrolled in four-year public institutions, 45.9 percent of Black students complete their degrees in six years the lowest rate compared to other races and ethnicities. Black men have the lowest com-

Brad Bowling is the President of CODE Media Group, LLC. Bowling has his BA in mass media communication and an MBA in marketing. He contributes articles to the magazine continuing his love for writing.

BRAND-NEW BAG

pletion rate at 40 percent.

Because Black women are attaining more degrees, they are winning more positions at the executive level that pay a higher salary and bonus. The term, “getting the bag” is defined as getting large sums of money based on either performance or winnings and Black women are winning.

SKILLS THAT PAY THE BILLS

Black women are not just obtaining degrees, they’re getting degrees in positions that allow them to advance, run companies, lead divisions, and determine policy. Blacks are getting promoted at a faster rate than any other minority and they’re leading in all sectors of professional employment among minority groups.

These accomplishments are amazing when considering how fast Black women have advanced based on education. The

mission of the Civil Rights Movement was heard and motivated Black people, but especially Black women.

HOMEOWNERSHIP

Because many degreed Black women are earning six-figure salaries, their purchasing power has skyrocketed. Black women enjoy the fruits of their labor. They’re purchasing luxury automobiles and are buying homes at almost a 2 to 1 ratio of their Black counterparts. This could be because Black women have children and a need for a home. But overwhelmingly, the main reason Black women are buying homes at a higher ratio is that they can afford them.

“I rewarded myself with some of the things I wanted after I got my position,” Angie said. “I worked hard for it, so I decided to treat myself. Life is too short to not get the things you want.”

And she isn’t alone. Black women are the leading race in

spending and continue to be the driving force behind trends set by the community.

Using 2020 and 2021 data, pursuant to equity in the form of narrowing Black-white differences in household income, Black purchasing power could jump from $976 billion to a potential $1.6 trillion in the US. Black couples and Black family’s purchasing power is at an all-time high and much of it is based on Black women obtaining coveted positions at some of the country’s top companies.

born out of wedlock often suffer from the largest disadvantage of not having a mother and father in the same home. But women excelling is not the problem.

The problem comes from a lack of understanding of how to adapt to the changes in the balance of who provides, who protects, and who runs the homes in Black America.

LIFE GOING FORWARD

There is no doubt that the gains Black women have made are to be celebrated. The Black race needs as many people pros-

THE NEGATIVE IMPACT

Marriage across the board for all races is declining. But for the Black household, the decline has fallen off a cliff. Some 34.4 percent of Black men were married in 2021, compared to 28.6 percent of Black women. For Whites, 55.5 percent of men and 52.4 percent of women were married. More than 48 percent of all Black women and 51.1 percent of Black men had never been married.

This devastating statistic impacts the entire race. Children

pering as possible if the race is going to become self-sufficient and self-reliant. Black men need to begin to increase their numbers of getting degrees so they, too, can benefit from the hard work an education provides.

Black women have the bag, have the momentum, and have the right to be proud of themselves. Everyone else needs to pull their weight and join them in winning the professional career game. ●

Black women are winning more and more positions of influence.

“Black women are not just getting degrees, they are getting degrees in positions that allow them to advance, run companies, lead divisions, and determine policy.”

CELEBRATING WOMEN

Dr. Willie Jolley has joined the CODE M Magazine team to bring you a new monthly column that designed to inspire, teach and encourage those who might be seeking clarity for what really matter. This month we celebrate women!

by Dr. Willie Jolley

Iwas honored to be featured on the front cover of CODE M magazine a few months ago with my wife as we discussed marriage and money. We were amazed with all the positive responses from readers, across America and even other countries.

Now, I’m excited to share ideas that I believe will help you win in business and in your personal life with this new column.

ble impact on our country and the world. I’ve been blessed to have had many powerful women as guests on my Willie Jolley Wealthy Ways Show on Sirius XM. And, in this article, I share some of the life lessons from women who have profoundly impacted my thinking. I’m confident they’ll positively impact yours as well.

I’ll start with my wife, Dee Taylor-Jolley. One of the most

popular and most requested interviews I have every season on my Sirius XM show is the one I do with Dee. Not only does she share great advice on marriage and relationships, but she also talks about wealth creation and financial freedom.

In terms of relationships, Dee is adamant that men must be clear on two things that women need. Those two things are intimacy and security! She reminds us that intimacy is not always sex, but if handled correctly, it can lead to sex! Then security, which is confidence that a man can give to a woman that lets her know, for sure, that he has her covered. And that he will take care of her, physically, emotionally, and if necessary, financially.

In terms of finances, Dee encourages men and women to first discover their money personalities (how they think about and manage their money); then learn to save more, so they can invest more as they work toward their financial freedom. And never, ever give your financial future over to someone else to manage without your having knowledge of how that money is being managed. If you want to earn more money, you must be willing to do the work to learn more about growing and managing your own money!

Another woman who had a tremendous impact on my thinking was the late great restauranteur and style icon, B Smith. B Smith was a guest on my Sirius XM show several times and always gave great ideas for business, relationships, and life.

Here are a few of the pearls she shared:

• The best relationships are 40 - 40% with 20% swinging between both parties. They each have important stakes but neither has controlling interest!

• Love should be like a seesaw, where each person gets some time at the top and each can experience the enjoyment of the rare air.

• Successful marriages must have Lust & Trust. Lust without trust will be a bust, and trust without lust is like dating a relative and it will turn to rust!

• To be successful in business you must be willing to think big, take massive actions, and never give up! Some of the things you try will fail but some will make

you wealthy if you just don’t stop trying.

• To succeed, you must be willing to stand on a mountain of No’s in order to get one Yes!

Sheila Johnson, co-founder of B.E.T. (Black Entertainment Television) is another female who has had a great impact on me as a result of my interviews with her. She’s one of America’s few Black female billionaires, owner of the Washington Mystics WBNA team, and owner of the Salamander luxury hotel brand. Sheila shared these lessons for success:

1. The salamander was chosen for her business brand because a salamander can lose a limb in a trap but can generate another one! They may be knocked down but find a way to continue to come back stronger!

2. Avoid toxic people. Stay away from crazy activities. Be like a duck and let stuff roll off your back. Stay on your path and away from the negative!

3. Set goals and think big but stay flexible. Don’t let setbacks stop you from creating big success stories in your life.

These three women have made an indelible impact on my success, both personally and professionally! ●

I hope you will listen to these interviews on my Willie Jolley Wealthy Ways Podcast, as well my Sirius XM Show on Channel 141 every Saturday at 4 pm ET, and then again on Tuesday and Thursday at 6 pm ET. These interviews are guaranteed to transform your life! I was honored to be featured on the front cover of Code M magazine a few months ago with my wife as we discussed marriage and money. We were amazed with all the positive responses from readers, across America and even other countries.

Dr. Willie Jolley has become a monthly contributor to CODE M Magazine.

OVERCOMING CHILDHOOD SEX ABUSE

Childhood Sexual Abuse (CSA) alters an individual's neurobiology and stress physiology causing shortterm consequences, such as substance abuse, and long-term consequences, such as mental health problems. As a result of substance abuse and mental health problems, CSA survivors are 30 percent more likely than their non-abused peers to have serious medical conditions such as cancer, heart problems, eating disorders, anxiety, chronic headaches, and posttraumatic stress disorder.

According to a Center for Disease Control 2015 study, expenses for these healthcare issues plus costs of criminal justice proceedings and productivity losses can and has cost the US economy $9.3 billion in a single year.

In the wake of such trauma, women especially brown women are often left feeling broken, lost, and empty while still having to maintain a home, career, family, and their health. But what if someone who has been through that same horrific experience could help you or a loved one go from victim to victor?

In Letters to My Brown Girls: 4-Phases to a Liberated Life Beyond Childhood Sexual Abuse, Dr. Cynthia Sutherland (Dr.CyS®) shines a guiding light on the dark subject matter of childhood sexual abuse. Letters to My Brown Girls provides a four-phase transformation in the A.F.T.R. framework, companion articles, grounding exercises, YouTube playlists, motivational letters, and other resources to help survivors who are aspiring to heal their past mental, emotional, and spiritual barriers from childhood sexual abuse.

An example of adversity and resilience, Dr. Cynthia Sutherland's story serves as proof that you, too, can travel a journey of healing from your traumatic experience. Dr. CyS is a Child Sexual Abuse Victor, public speaker, author, and educator who provides resources with time and space for sexual abuse survivors to heal.

Transitioning from being a teenage mom on welfare to a single mom of a Black male, 2-time college dropout, an Army Veteran and a woman in a male-dominated career, Dr. Sutherland deciphered the mental, emotional, and spiritual barriers to connect mental health to financial wealth and overcome triggers from childhood sexual abuse.

The framework and resources in her new book reflect her strength, motivation, and inspiration to heal past a 60-year generational curse of childhood sexual abuse and successfully serve as the first US Representative to become the Global Chair of a multinational military security board with NATO, complete her Doctorate in Cybersecurity as a wife and mom, serve as the Chief Information Security Officer for the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and become the first US Senior Executive Service Member to serve as FEMA's Chief Information Security Officer.

Currently, through her nonprofit company, Hidn Trezher, Inc., Dr.CyS empowers childhood sexual abuse survivors and the people who love them with global, private and public support services; sexual assault awareness events; and more. Check out www.hidntrezher.org for more information and events.

It can take a lifetime to overcome childhood sex abuse. Letters to My Brown Girls examines a way to a better future by seeking the right kind of care to resolve negative feelings.

SHEILA E.: LA VIDA GLAMOROSA

Music legend, Sheila E., discusses what drives her passion for music and her future plans as she tours the country.

Written by BRAD BOWLING

Brad Bowling is the President of CODE Media Group, LLC. Bowling has his BA in mass media communication and an MBA in marketing. He contributes articles to the magazine continuing his love for writing.

or anyone over a certain age, thoughts of when life was perfect always creep into the mind. The days when life was simply better. People were better, things were clear and defined, and music was pure. Sheila E. represents an era when talent was real, and everyone lived the glamorous life in their own way.

Born in Oakland, California, Sheila E. is the daughter of Juanita Gardere, a dairy factory worker, and percussionist Pete Escovedo, with whom she frequently performed. Her mother is of Creole-French/African descent, and her father is of Mexican American descent.

Life would change her musical talent when she went from listening to her father and his band practice at the house to joining a jam session. Sheila knew from that moment that she would pursue music, just like her father.

She began her career in the mid-70s as a percussionist for The George Duke Band. After separating from the group in 1983, Sheila began a solo career, starting with the release of her debut album in 1984, which included her biggest hit song “The Glamorous Life.” She also saw a hit with the single “A Love Bizarre.”

Sheila performed three stints as one of the members of “All-

“I was very fortunate to have the background that I have. We always celebrated all the cultures we belong to in my home, and it helped shape who I am as a proud woman today,” Sheila said.

They didn’t watch much TV in her house when she was growing up because music was the center of their lives.

When she was young, Sheila had different plans for her future.

“Ever since I was little, I was preparing myself for the Olympics in track and field,” Sheila said.

Starrs,” the Ringo Starr & His All-Starr Band, in 2001, 2003, and 2006. Her drum “duets” with Starr are a moment of comic relief in the show, where they play the same parts, but he quickly falls behind, shrugs, and smiles as she takes off on an extended percussion solo.

In 2002, Sheila appeared on the Beyoncé song “Work It Out.”

In 2004, Sheila toured New Zealand as drummer and percussionist for the Abe Laboriel Band. That same year, she also was featured on Tonéx's Out the Box on the song “Todos Juntos.” She also played drums on Cyndi Lauper’s hit album of standard covers, At Last. She played percussion on the song “Stay.” Sheila joined Lauper on a live version of that song on VH1 Divas.

Sheila also performed at Prince's One Nite Alone... Live! concert, Live at the Aladdin Las Vegas in 2003, 36th NAACP Image Awards in 2005, and on the Good Morning show in June 2006. In 2005, Sheila was a surprise guest orchestrating a band, in Amerie's “1 Thing” performances for The Lady of Soul & World Music Awards.

In February 2006, Sheila E. performed with Prince (and Wendy Melvoin and Lisa Coleman) once again at the BRIT

Sheila E’s latest CD is available on her website, https://sheilae.com/.

“I was very fortunate to have the background that I have. We always celebrated all the cultures we belong to in my home, and it helped shape who I am as a proud woman today.”

Awards. She performed at the Sonoma Jazz Festival in 2006 as part of Herbie Hancock’s band featuring Larry Carlton, Terrence Blanchard, Marcus Miller, and Terri Lyne Carrington.

In 2013, Sheila began recording her seventh album. In November 2013, she released her album Icon in the UK. The album was also Sheila’s first release of her own recording label Stilettoflats Music. In September 2014, she released her autobiography Beat of My Own Drum. In November 2014, her album Icon was internationally released.

Sheila rose to fame alongside other artists like Prince and The Time. She continued to grow in popularity. And began acting in movies. Her stage presence and ability to drive her percussions have amazed fans for over thirty years and continue today as she tours the country playing new music from her latest release, Sheila E. & the E-Train.

The CD launches BAILAR, the first-ever salsa song from Sheila, featuring guest performances by Luis Enrique, Tony Succar, and Mychael Gabriel! The CD continues with amazing music that everyone has come to know from Sheila and her amazing percussion.

“We continue to play music every day in my house and that is celebrated when we tour around the country,” Sheila said.

Sheila emits a quiet confidence about her music, her past, and her future. Her consistency for her craft and reputation makes her a legend in the music industry. Her charm and charisma never disappoint if you have the chance to meet her and her soft voice is totally opposite her vibrant shows that she and her music team perform night after night.

Next month, Sheila E. and her band will perform at the Ohio Black Expo, in Columbus, Ohio on May 25th through May 28th as the headliner.

Ohio Black Expo is a statewide humanitarian organization dedicated to improving the quality of life for Ohio’s African American citizens by establishing and encouraging an independent self-help approach to problem-solving.

“I have always had a good time when we come to Ohio, and I look forward to performing there again,” she said.

Sheila lives a balanced life to ensure that she is getting the most out of life. “I do a little bit of everything. My life is sur-

rounded by music and the arts, as well as sports and competition. We love to compete and have fun and experience family and friends But mostly living a godly life, that is healthy and happy is what I covet the most.”

When Sheila is not touring, she works on her foundation. She started the foundation with her best friend and bandmate, Lynn Mabry, to help children in foster care use music as therapy She uses the foundation to help the kids in the Bay area, where she grew up, to overcome life’s challenges by using music to discover parts of themselves they don’t know they have.

“We’re very proud of what we’ve been able to do with the foundation,” Sheila said. “It has helped so many kids see life from their own talents and helped them through a difficult time.”

Sheila has been honored for her efforts in music and life and has been praised as one of the pioneers for Latina women in music.

In February 2009, she was made an honorary member of Tau Beta Sigma National Honorary Band Sorority by the Eta Delta

Sheila E. will be back in Ohio at the Ohio Black Expo in May.

Chapter located at Howard University in recognition of her humanitarian efforts through and in music. She and her friend Lynn Mabry are also the co-founders of Elevate Oakland, a nonprofit that uses music and art to serve the needs of youth in Oakland public schools. Sheila E., along with her father, was presented with the Latin Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award in 2021.

Life has been amazing to Sheila because she has honored her gift and talent by never taking it for granted, by sharing it with others, and always understanding her blessing. She truly is living a glamorous life. ●

If you would like to purchase Sheila E. latest music, you can visit https://sheilae.com/

Sheila E’s style for fashion remains one of the best attributes in her career.

THE EVER-CHANGING WOMEN’S MOVEMENT

Written by DAVID CHRISTEL

David has been ghostwriting books for well-known people since 1995. He is also the author of Married Men Coming Out: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming the Man You Were Born to Be.

Throughout history, women have struggled to live, work, and play on a level playing field with men. It still ain’t happenin’.

ince the mid-1800s, movements such as woman’s suffrage, women’s rights, and feminism have gone through multiple waves of transformation and effectiveness. From infighting within their ranks to define their platform and create a consensus to formidable political actions, women are still challenged with being seen, understood, accepted, respected, and honored for who they are and their integral contributions to society and civilization.

Ratanjit S. Sondhe, a Sikh author, lecturer, and leadership coach, says, “The true measure of any civilization is not found in its technology, arsenal, or patents, but the educational level of its women and how respected its women are.” It would appear that America isn’t as civilized as it believes itself to be.

The women’s movement of today is vastly different from the campaign for the right to vote initiated in the 19th century. Back then, the movement was mostly run by white people with Blacks relegated to sitting on the sidelines or completely ignored. Today, the push for inclusiveness in the women’s movement has embraced women of color and gender-diverse people. Issues range from abortion to pay inequality, gender-based health care inaccessibil-

As Paris Hatcher, founder of the activist group Black Feminist Future, says, “[it’s] a world where white men are in control, where the history that’s told is upholding the history and the legacies of white men, and also where white men are able to control who is elected and who is not.”

Conversely, on the opposite end of the spectrum of experience, we see women exercising their freedom and rights as exhibited on social media sites where sex, “social influencing” and outrageous behavior garner attention, fame, and money. Women are saying and doing whatever they want with no regard for integrity, honesty, respect, dignity, people’s feelings, and the consequences of their words and actions. The backlash is conservatism, cancel culture, book banning, and retaliatory efforts to “stop the madness … stop the degradation stop the evil,” and rein women in. In tandem with this is the expansion of pronoun usage, as well as how gender fluidity and the LGBTQ+ community figure in the women’s movement. To date, there are 82 types of gender identities, though a Rasmussen Reports survey states that 75 percent of US adults believe there are only two genders. What the Report doesn’t state is what

ity, rigid social expectations, and gender-based violence. Importantly, a defining aspect of the women’s movement now is intersectionality, which is defined as “the interconnected nature of social categorizations such as race, class, and gender as they apply to a given individual or group, regarded as creating overlapping and interdependent systems of discrimination or disadvantage.”

The term, first used by Kimberlé Crenshaw in 1989, applies to one’s social and political identities and how they are combined to create different kinds of discrimination and privilege, e.g., through gender, caste, sex, race, ethnicity, class, sexuality, religion, disability, weight, and physical appearance. All of these are ways in which to oppress, marginalize, and control women.

As we try to make sense of events in the US over the last fifteen years, it seems the religiopolitical trend is to backslide to the days of women having fewer rights, abdicating to the wishes of men, and suppressing of their lived personal experience. In short, it’s a return to a patriarchal world.

that belief is based upon the ability to procreate, various sacred scriptures, or science and psychology.

Consequently, there is no real clarity as to just how the women’s movement is impacting American society. A Pew Research Center survey found that 64 percent of those surveyed say feminism is empowering with 42 percent saying it’s inclusive. Yet, 45 percent say it’s polarizing, and 30 percent say it’s outdated. Clearly, the country is divided in its assessment.

That brings us to what men think about the women’s movement and feminism. It’s pretty much what one would expect. A 2020 survey by the Pew Research Center reported that only 49 percent of men say the US hasn’t gone far enough in giving women equal rights and 28 percent of men say that gains by women have come at the expense of men.

It was also reported that “while 78 percent of Americans are at least somewhat in favor of this move, just 44 per-

“Consequently, there is no real clarity as to just how the women’s movement is impacting American society.”

cent believe that it would actually make a difference in advancing women’s rights.”

Since 1923, when the Equal Rights Amendment was first introduced, the women’s movement has fought hard to have “equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex” become the 28th Amendment to the Constitution.

But achieving ERA ratification has been blocked by intense opposition from conservative religious and political leaders and organizations. Most notable in this fight was Phyllis Schlafly who argued that greater sex equality would lead to societal moral decline if we swapped gender roles from what women traditionally hold. Essentially, women would be doing the same work as men and being paid the same wages. That doesn’t sit well with a lot of men and women.

Some of the other arguments against the ERA include:

• It wouldn’t protect people who don’t identify as male or female.

• The amendment could take away some of the benefits women currently enjoy.

• It would create fewer obstacles to prematurely ending the potential for human life.

Notorious RGB, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, former US Supreme Court Justice, said, “I don’t say women’s rights I say the constitutional principle of the equal citizenship stature of men and women.” She also said, “We should not be held back from pursuing our full talents, from contributing what we could contribute to the society, because we fit into a certain mold because we belong to a group that historically has been the object of discrimination.”

That pretty much encapsulates the argument for and against the women’s movement: removing laws that discriminate against one specific gender. Concerning one particular hot-button issue, it would

also help enshrine transgender, non-binary, and other genderidentification rights into the Constitution. To many, that’s an impossibility. To others, it’s a necessity.

But today, the struggle for equal rights is still an uphill battle for women when addressing reproductive rights being denied, the widening pay gap, the inability to attain appropriate health care support, and ensuring something as necessary as paid maternity leave something that the majority of countries in the United Nations provide but not the US.

At its core, the women’s movement is about empowerment, the ability to live and work in a world of equality and support, to pursue and achieve one’s dreams without fear of being ignored, suppressed, or discriminated against. Feminism empowers not just women but everyone as the stresses of our relationship dynamics are dissolved and brought into balance.

Women must continue to ensure their voices are heard, that women now and future generations of women know and feel in the very core of their being that they matter, that they are integral to the whole, and that their value and worth. ●

Stress is attributed to significant health issues for Black men in general.

FEMININE FORTUNE

Femininity is a concept that has been debated, explored, and redefined throughout history. It’s a multifaceted concept that’s defined by various factors, including cultural norms, gender roles, and personal identity. Femininity refers to the qualities, behaviors, and traits that are traditionally associated with being female. However, femininity is not a fixed or static concept. It varies across cultures and time periods and is constantly evolving.

One of the earliest depictions of femininity can be found in ancient Greek mythology in which femininity was associated with fertility, motherhood, and domesticity. Women were expected to be wives and mothers, and their primary role was to bear children and care for the household. This ideal of femininity has persisted throughout much of history, with women being relegated to the private sphere and excluded from public life.

Feminine Strength

The strength of femininity is often underestimated and overlooked in our society. Femininity is often associated with weakness, vulnerability, and dependency. However, this is far from the truth. Femininity is a powerful force that embodies strength, resilience, and compassion.

First and foremost, femininity is synonymous with strength. Women have demonstrated time and again that they are capable of overcoming incredible obstacles and persevering in the face of adversity. Women have proven themselves to be strong leaders, warriors, and trailblazers in all areas of life. Femininity is characterized by resilience. Women have been through some of the most challenging experiences imaginable, including gender-based violence, discrimination, and poverty, and have emerged stronger and more robust. Women have an innate ability to rebound from setbacks, adapt to change, and persevere through challenging times.

For example, many women have overcome tremendous obstacles in their personal and professional lives, from balancing careers and families to overcoming illness and adversity. They

Written by CHRIS A. MATTHEWS

have shown incredible resilience in the face of challenges, refusing to be defined by their circumstances and instead rising above them.

Femininity is defined by compassion. Women have a unique ability to connect with others and demonstrate empathy and kindness. They are often the ones responsible for nurturing and caring for their families, friends, and communities. They have a natural ability to understand the needs of others and provide support and encouragement.

For instance, women are often the primary caregivers for their children and elderly family members. They also play a significant role in volunteering and community service, providing support to those in need. Their compassion and caring nature are a powerful force for good in the world.

Black Femininity in America

Black femininity in America has been undervalued and overlooked for centuries. The intersection of race and gender has created a unique experience for Black women in America leading to a complex and often contradictory portrayal of Black femininity. However, the value of Black femininity in America is immeasurable and has contributed to the shaping of American culture and society.

One of the most significant contributions of Black femininity in America is the resilience and strength that Black women have demonstrated throughout history. From the enslavement of Black women to the civil rights movement and the fight for women’s rights, Black women have been at the forefront of every significant movement for social justice in America.

Black women have also been influential in shaping American music, literature, and other art forms. For instance, the blues, which originated in the Deep South, was largely created and popularized by Black women. Artists such as Bessie Smith, Ma Rainey, and Billie Holiday used their music to express their experiences as Black women in America, and their contributions to the genre continue to be celebrated today.

Chris A. Matthews is a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) and approved supervisor for the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy. Visit chrisAmatthews.com to learn more about his work with couples and families.

Femininity is often associated with weakness, vulnerability, and dependency. However, this is far from the truth. Femininity is a powerful force that embodies strength, resilience, and compassion.

Moreover, Black women have been at the forefront of movements for gender equality in America. Women such as Audre Lorde and Angela Davis have been outspoken advocates for these causes and have influenced generations of activists.

Black feminist theory, developed by scholars such as Patricia Hill Collins and Kimberlé Crenshaw, has also had a significant impact on the way Americans think about race, gender, and intersectionality (the complex, cumulative way in which the effects of multiple forms of discrimination such as racism, sexism, and classism combine, overlap, or intersect, especially in the experiences of marginalized individuals or groups).

Despite these significant contributions, Black femininity in America has often been misrepresented and undervalued. Stereotypes such as the “angry Black woman” and the “Jezebel” have been used to marginalize Black women and deny them their rightful place in American society. This misrepresentation can be seen in popular culture, where Black women are often portrayed as hypersexualized, aggressive, and subordinate to white men.

However, there has been a recent movement to challenge these stereotypes and celebrate the value of Black femininity in America. Black women such as Beyoncé, Issa Rae, and Viola Davis have used their platforms to challenge stereotypes and highlight the contributions of Black women to American culture. In addition, movements such as Black Lives Matter have emphasized the importance of centering the experiences and perspectives of Black women in the fight for social justice.

Despite progress in society’s understanding of gender and race, Black women continue to face unique challenges regarding their femininity. One of the most significant challenges is the expectation to conform to Eurocentric beauty standards, which value light skin, straight hair, and thin bodies. This pressure to conform often leads to low self-esteem, body dissatisfaction, and even eating disorders.

Furthermore, Black women are often criticized for not fitting into traditional feminine roles. Black women who are assertive and confident are often labeled as “aggressive” or “difficult,” while those who are emotional and vulnerable are seen as weak or unstable.

Research on Black Femininity

Research on black femininity has highlighted the complex and intersectional experiences of Black women. A study conducted by Trimble, Hsu, and Wang (2018) found that Black women reported higher levels of discrimination and sexism compared to other racial groups. The study also found that Black women were more likely to experience microaggressions, subtle acts of discrimination that can be difficult to recognize but have a cumulative effect on mental health and well-being.

Research has also shown that Black women who don’t conform to traditional feminine roles are often penalized in the workplace. A study conducted by Livingston, Rosette, and Washington (2012) found that Black women who expressed anger in the workplace were perceived as less competent and less hirable compared to white women who expressed the same emotion.

The idea of being feminine has been lost on western society.

Another study conducted by Hammond, Mattis, Cooper, and Jackson (2013) found that Black women who adhered to traditional feminine roles reported higher levels of depression and anxiety. The study suggests that the pressure to conform to traditional gender roles can have negative mental health effects on Black women.

Black Femininity in Relationships

Black femininity in relationships and sex has historically been subject to social stigmatization and cultural misrepresentation. The intersection of race and gender identities is a complex one, and Black women in particular have been marginalized and stereotyped in many aspects of their lives, including their sexuality.

Research has shown that Black women are often depicted in media as hypersexualized objects of desire, perpetuating harmful stereotypes about their sexual behavior and desirability. This portrayal can lead to increased objectification and sexualization in real-life interactions, wherein Black women may be seen as less deserving of respect and agency in sexual encounters.

In a study published in the Journal of Black Sexuality and Relationships, researchers explored the impact of racial and gender identity on sexual communication among Black women. They found that women who identified strongly with their Black femininity were more likely to communicate their sexual needs and desires with their partners. However, they also found that women who identified more with traditional gender roles were less likely to engage in sexual communication.

This study highlights the importance of understanding the intersectionality of identities and how they impact sexual behavior and communication. Black femininity is not a monolithic experience, and individuals may have varying levels of identification with different aspects of their identity.

Another study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that Black women report higher rates of sexual satisfaction than women of other racial groups. The study surveyed over 1,000 women and found that Black women were more likely to report experiencing orgasm during sexual activity and were more satisfied with the quality of their sexual experiences overall.

This research challenges the notion that Black women are somehow less sexually fulfilled than other women and suggests that the hyper-sexualization and objectification of Black femininity may not accurately reflect the realities of Black women’s sexual experiences.

However, it’s important to note that Black women still face unique challenges when it comes to relationships and sex. A study published in the Journal of Black Psychology found that Black women who experienced higher levels of racial discrimination were more likely to experience negative sexual outcomes, such as decreased sexual satisfaction and lower levels of intimacy with their partners.

This research suggests that racism can have a detrimental impact on Black women’s sexual health and well-being and highlights the need for interventions and support systems that address both the individual and systemic factors that contribute to these negative outcomes.

Black femininity in relationships and sex is a complex and multifaceted experience that is often subject to harmful stereotypes and misrepresentations. Research has shown that understanding the intersectionality of identities is crucial to understanding how race and gender impact sexual behavior and communication.

While Black women may report higher rates of sexual satisfaction than women of other racial groups, they still face unique challenges when it comes to relationships and sex, including racism and discrimination. By addressing these challenges and promoting positive, healthy attitudes towards Black femininity, we can work towards creating a more equitable and inclusive society for all. ●

HEALTH THE BEAUTY IN THE JOURNEY

The CODE M Health section has encouraged empowered men to dominate this year through no equipment and no-cost physical and wellness information and routines. Men or women can significantly enhance their lives by reading the articles and implementing the calls to action. This month, may we shift the paradigm and adhere to the nourishment of women.

Written by GARRETT WALLER

AAny man can gain insight from attending to the perspective of women as they relate the components that would cause them to describe a woman as beautiful. What better way to deepen men’s understanding of women than to gain a view into the intricacies of how they view their best selves, their bodies, and their health? Additionally, it may allow women individually and collectively to reiterate and reassess their physical and mental health as it relates to their body image. In the best case, a woman’s amplified voice can influence and inspire another woman to feel like they can reclaim their untainted standard of beauty and make achieving it accessible and

attainable. It’s time to check in with women on how they would describe their beauty and their relationship with exercise and how it has been affected by society’s idea of beauty.

Valerie Starks-Hutton, a mother and entrepreneur, how she describes what beauty is to her and her journey from a diagnosis of fibromyalgia to an award-winning physique competitor. She has achieved the body she wants through the channels of fitness and nutrition. She believes being curvy and healthy benefits her mental health and sets an excellent example for other women.

Everyone has a unique turning point when starting their journey in fitness. Valerie was in her thirties when she re-

Garrett is the founder and owner of Garrett Waller, LLC, "A Fitness, Health, & Lifestyle Company." Garrett has his BS in Psychology and is a nationally certified personal trainer. He helps people find more freedom in their lives through a commitment to fitness and an active lifestyle. https://garrettwaller.com

ceived news that she had fibromyalgia. This long-lasting disorder causes pain and tenderness throughout the body, fatigue, and trouble sleeping. Scientists do not fully understand what causes it, but people with the condition have a heightened sensitivity to pain.

Valerie looked around the room in her hospital support group and realized she was the youngest person there, and so began her journey in the gym. After discovering how discontent she was with so many of life’s circumstances that were out of control, she turned to the things she could control, such as her weight, body strength and health, and mental health.

At the local gym, Valerie found a community of like-minded people, remained determined to continue improving, and felt challenged by the classes and training. She eventually became so ingratiated in the lifestyle that out of the desire to be an example to other women, she lost nearly 20 pounds and entered a physique competition at the age of 56. Valerie took first place in the 40 and up group and second place in the 35 and up age group.

For these reasons, Garrett desired to sit with Valerie, a single mother who has battled health conditions and defied age through her commitment to maintaining her health and mental wellness through physical fitness and an active lifestyle.

How does society’s idea of beauty impact women’s mental health? Current studies suggest that Black women’s body selfimage is influenced by their perceptions of men’s views of the ideal body based on how Black women are featured in common media outlets (Awad, et al, 2016).

There could be pressure for women to look at social media and want to look like some of the women who are featured there. Valerie says, “Social media pressures women to look a certain way. I feel like there’s pressure for women to look at social media but to even get started with fitness, they’re unsure where to begin in pursuit of that idealized image.”

When asked, “How do you define the term body image?” Valerie described body image as “what other people think you should look like. You can be very curvy and still be sexy. Whether you’re a size six or 12, we all have room for improvement.”

Studies often indicate that the content of family messages surrounding body image and beauty includes the idea that the perception of others is essential and influences one’s ability to achieve and be well-received. The implications of this may lead to a hyperawareness of body image that could have damaging effects depending on a woman’s surroundings.

When asked how exercise impacted her mental health, Valerie replied, “Community is a big part of mental wellness likeminded people around you with the same goals and vision.” Finding the proper community support may sometimes be complex and scary. Still, consistency along the wellness journey will lead to finding a tribe that will ease the mind and that will empower any woman showing up for themselves who, in Valerie’s words, says to themselves, “I’m going to work on my body in the process of building the woman I am.”

Exercise and movement add a layer of confidence and put a strong barrier between a woman’s body image preferences and anyone else’s. This idea led Garrett to ask if Valerie has ever felt pressured by external sources to conform to society’s body image preferences. Valerie replied, “No, because staying on top of my workout has always been important. I’ve never

wanted to look like someone else.” She has found her own set of reasons to exercise that are not tied to society’s idea of beauty. She said, “I just love the beach, summertime, and the Caribbean, and I’m going to keep this body bikini ready for that.”

When asked, “What components would cause you to describe a woman as beautiful?” Valerie replied, “Beauty has much more to do with who you are on the inside versus who you are on the outside.” She explained that the outside piece is just an add-on for someone with a beautiful inside, full of life and spirit, who is vibrant and embraces who they are as a woman.

“After those bodybuilding contests, people started asking me questions about my body And I wanted to share with women that, ‘hey, look, I have fibromyalgia, and I did this. Don’t ever feel like you can’t do something that you put your mind to, regardless of what the situation is!’” ●

Sources

Awad, Germaine H., et al, “Beauty and Body Image Concerns

Among African American College Women,” PubMed, November 12, 2014.

Valerie Starks-Hutton is a fitness expert based in Cleveland, Ohio.

MUSIC LIVING IN THE MOMENT

Avery Sunshine has found her groove, postpandemic, by falling back in love with her writing, her music, her fans, and the journey of this thing called life.

The summer of 2020 froze life for everyone. The pandemic of 2020 caused everyone to go home and be still for many months. And for entertainers, like AverySunshine, it not only stopped her from performing but also made her re-examine her life.

The business of show business can be brutal for those who travel the globe to entertain. The constant movement can blur the days, time, and even years for some musicians. For Sunshine, it did a little of everything.

“I got into the habit of moving from place to place and just going through the routine of performing. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I forgot how to write music,” Sunshine said.

The pandemic changed that because as she sat at home and began to experience life again. She had the space and time to really pour her soul into her writing. For Sunshine, it took her back to being eight years old, when she discovered her talent for music. Sunshine was born in Chester, Pennsylvania, to Ruth Eleanor

Written by ANTHONY KIRBY Anthony T. Kirby is the Lifestyle Editor for CODE M Magazine and has spent over 30 years in the menswear industry. He lives in Philadelphia, PA where he is the Creative Director for FINICKEY, an online men's haberdashery brand. (https://finickey.us)

White and Irving Cyril White. She began playing piano at eight, after she saw a classmate perform, and learned to read hymns before beginning to study classical music at 11. At 13, she expanded her repertoire to include jazz and had her first recital.

Three years later, her aunt, a church choir director, asked Sunshine to fill in for her during a Sunday service at a Catholic church; she was subsequently hired by churches of all denominations, including the AME Church, where she performed with the award-winning Wilmington/ Chester Mass Choir.

For Sunshine, knowing her WHY incredibly early meant living in it when very young.

“I knew what I wanted to do at a very early age, and that gift scared me sometimes because I didn’t always know how to honor it,” Sunshine said. “I knew I loved music, but I sometimes questioned if this is what God wanted

me to do with my talents.”

While in college, Sunshine met Maia Nkenge Wilson, a vocal major, and together they formed a gospel and R&B singing duo, DaisyRew. In addition to performing in Africa, DaisyRew performed at churches in the area and at clubs, including the Apache Café, which was noted for launching the careers of several prominent artists, including India Arie.

Wilson was cast in a Broadway role following college, and Sunshine was hired as the Minister of Music at the St. Paul AME Church in Atlanta. DaisyRew continued to perform when Wilson,

on break from her theatrical career in New York, returned to Atlanta.

In 2005, Sunshine and Johnson recorded “Stalker,” a neosoul song, which a friend, Chris Brann, set to a house beat. The track became a dance hit on a Japanese record label, which led to a series of live dates in Japan.

Sunshine and Johnson began work on what became AverySunshine’s self-titled first album, released in 2010 on their own label, BigShine. Recorded at Sunshine’s home, the record included guest appearances by the pianist Takana Miyamoto, the vibraphone player Roy Ayers, and Christian McBride. The record was praised by the media, with USA Today calling it “refreshingly original” and The Washington Post describing it as “a radiant brand of soul.”

Sunshine, a single parent of two, focused on AverySunshine, but also accepted jobs as a keyboard player with artists including Tyler Perry and Jennifer Holliday and worked as a choral director for Atlanta performances by artists such as Michael Bublé, Anthony Hamilton, and David Foster.

From 2010 until late 2013, Sunshine toured consistently and developed a following throughout the US, the UK, Europe, and Africa. She began recording a second album, The Sunroom, in November 2013, which was released in May 2014 through a partnership with Shanachie Records. In 2017, she released her third album, Twenty Sixty-Four.

Today, Sunshine tours the US and has slowed down to appreciate moments on stage where she can take in her audience’s appreciation for her music.

“For me, the gift of life has so much more meaning than it did before the pandemic,” she explained. “I now understand that living in the moment, absorbing all of the wonderful things I have been blessed to do, is really what it’s all about.”

The lessons of life can be amazing if you’re a fan in the audience or if you’re the singer performing. Sunshine understands, post-pandemic, she has fallen back in love with writing her own music, performing her own songs, and enjoying them with an audience of people she connects to on a nightly basis.

The world would be a better place if we could all listen to AverySunshine. ●

Avery Sunshine performing at one of her many concerts.

AFRICA’S HOTTEST NEWCOMER

Kicking into high gear for 2023, African superstar singer and songwriter Tyla reveals an energetic and undeniable new single and music video entitled Been Thinking recently on FAX Records/Epic Records. The video is directed by the almighty Meiji Alabi (Beyonce, Burna Boy) and cochoreographed by the legendary Fatima Robinson (Michael Jackson, Aaliyah).

The track's driving beat sets the pace as her dynamic vocals dip in and out of the groove. She alternates between confessional verses a la “I've been trying not to lose control,” but I lose control and a fiery and flirty hook, "All day, all night, I been thinkin bout you." The accompanying visual vividly brings theses vibes to life onscreen. From intimate vignettes of her singing in bed to showstopping African-inspired choreography in a packed club, it reflects the track's spirit. However, it only paves the way for a whole lot more from Tyla in 2023...

Tyla has been making waves internationally by fusing Amapiano with ethereal pop R&B vocals, earning her critical acclaim from PAPER Magazine, I-D and CLASH. Her debut single 'Getting Late' featuring Kooldrink has amassed over 5.5 worldwide million views. She followed it up with the incredible DJ Lag collaboration Overdue, which soundtracked the trailer for Netflix's Blood & Water. Tyla returned with To Last in 2022 to great acclaim, earning praise from CLASH and The Independent.

Last year, Tyla turned up on To Last It has tallied nearly 1 million cumulative streams thus far and continues to gain traction at DSPs. Out Now dubbed

Written by JOHN O. HORTON JR.

is the President of the NerveDJs DJ Coalition, a coalition of over 9000+ DJs, Artists, Musicians, Producers and Label & Radio reps. Johnny O has been in the entertainment business for 46 years

it "dreamy," and HITS noted, "Tyla's music shimmers with the euphoria of South African amapiano, as she puts her vibrant personality on full display."

ABOUT TYLA

Tyla's music pushes boundaries. Infused with her vibrant personality, her songs offer an innovative take on pop and R&B, shimmering with the euphoria of South African amapiano, and an otherworldly approach to production that makes every track feel like something totally new. The Johannesburg native introduced herself internationally with her debut "Getting Late" featuring Kooldrink, and "To Last," her new singles via Epic Records, push her artistry forward and solidify her versatility as she bounds toward her goal. But despite her big dreams, Tyla is doing her best to remain carefree. She never anticipated that "Getting Late" would permeate beyond South Africa, much less reach the U.S. ●

Tyla’s latest release, Been Thinking, has over 7 million views on Youtube.

The world stage shrinks when a generational artist hits the stage. Africa’s Tyla is setting the recording industry on fire and creating a whole new fan base.

John O. Horton Jr, aka DJ Johnny O,

FASHION DRESSES

Written by

As summer approaches, women will have the opportunity to shine in amazing summer dresses. Nothing better than stepping out in fashion.

LARON HARLEM

A wardrobe shopper, stylist, and accessories designer who specializes in dapper looks that truly appeal to the most discerning eye. mailto: styledbydecar-lo@gmail.com, https://www.styledbydecarlo.com/

Arzell Roulette

Professional model and runway coach

PHOTOGRAPHY by T.D VISUAL ARTS

ANDREA ROWE...

Professional stylist and designer

Entire outfit created by Andrea Rowe Designs

Photography by DLYFEPHOTOLLC

Kelly...

Asian inspired ensemble

STYLED BY DECARLO

Tina Bridges Owner of T.L.A AGENCY

Atlanta GA

Wine bottles provided by SIP AND SHARE WINES

Photography by Dlyfephotollc