April 2016 costa link magazine

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 3:52 pm Page 1

M

a

April 2016 N°109

No1

MARBELLA

AUTOMOTIVE•ELECTRONIC•DIAGNOSTIC

g

a

z

i

n

e

Business Directory

Puzzles & Quizzes What’s On Guide

Horoscopes Local Info

Kids Page Jokes

PAG4E 1

Glass Curtains costadelhome.com intelligent property search

page 46

Spring Has Sprung..

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 3:52 pm Page 2

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 3:52 pm Page 3

i

IRONWORKS High quality metal at factory prices Established since 1989

Protect Your Home Windows Door Rejas

Protect Your Family Patio Rejas Drive Gates Etc.

FACTORY DIRECT ANY COLOUR - ANY DESIGN URBANISATION THEMES IF YOU CAN GET LIKE FOR CHEAPER WE WILL REFUND THE DIFFERENCE

‘The most respected British steelwork company in Spain’ BECAUSE WHEN IT COMES TO HOME SECURITY “IRONWORKS”

VISIT OUR WEBSITE FOR PRICES & MORE EXTENSIVE CATALOGUE

WWW.IRONWORKSINSPAIN.COM ironworksinspain@yahoo.co.uk

TELEPHONE

678 691 393

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 28/03/16 10:30 am Page 4

GET A WHOLE load mo with COSTA LIN

• NUMBER ONE ‘Costa del Sol magaz

• All advertisers have free inclusio

• All advertisers have free inclusion in

• All advertisers have their ow

with map & link to their Facebook p

print, web, so COSTA LINK is ahead of

tel: 951 254 222 or email: sales@costalinkmagazine.com | w

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 3:53 pm Page 5

more for your money...

INK MAGAZINE agazine’ on Google for over 7 years lusion in the business directory on in the on-line business directory ir own page on the website ook page, website & lots more...

social media K MAGAZINE of pack...

call the costa link team 2 or 663 061 669 m | web: www.costalinkmagazine.com

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 3:53 pm Page 6

Ed’s Note..

Well here we are in April and The Costa Link Magazine is celebrating its 9th Anniversary, we are nearly in to the double figures! We have survived the ups and downs, also the blood, sweat and tears with a few hysterical moments thrown in of the last nine years, which is no mean feat for a small business here on the Costa del Sol. So here’s a big thank you to all our readers and advertisers for your continued support.

This month also brings ‘April Fools Day’ so be careful of all those mischief-makers who play hysterical gags on family and friends on the 1st! The 23rd of April is St Georges Day, so why not drop your traditional English reserve and party with style and vigor like our Irish cousins did on St Patrick's Day in March. Enjoy the issue and a sincere thank you to you all for your continued support. Have a great month!

in the April Magazine...

48

A Man’s World: The things that women just find IMPOSSIBLE to do!

56

Medical Section... The A-Z of medical healthcare on the Costa del Sol. If you need any advise on any medical matter look here...

62

All revved up - Mitsuoka Motors (who are they?) launching in one of the largest classic car markets in the world.

70

What’s On Guide.... Lots going on this month on the Costa del Sol from Rock Concerts to Food Fairs...

78

Email: sales@costalinkmagazine.com Website: www.costalinkmagazine.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/costa.link.spain Whatsapp: 663 061 669 or Tweet: @costa_link

6

84

Business Directory... Can’t find that all-important contact information see page 84.

Solutions on page 88 Puzzle It Out... Puzzles galore challenge those little grey cells.

HOW TO CONTACT US Call: 951 254 222 or 663 061 669

82

Lost in space - blasting off on the kids page this month...!

Like Us

26

Solutions on page 88 Pit your brains against the TRIVIA QUIZ, questions for all ages from 6 -116!

80

The Jokes Page: Laugh out loud or get some giggles on page 80!!!

Facebook

8

Women’s World... Signs you have PMT the funny side (if there is one?!?)

No part of this publication, including layout, graphic design or pictures may be copied, SCANNED, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. Costa Link Magazine accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors. All rights reserved © 2016.

to advertise in costa link magazine please call 951 254 222 or 663 061 669

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 3:53 pm Page 7

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 3:53 pm Page 8

A Woman’s World

WRITTEN WOMAN TO WOMEN

Signs you may have PMT..

• Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

• You’re adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelette.

• Everyone within your immediate reach is dead.

• You consider chocolate a major food group.

• Getting a bikini wax may as well be childbirth.

• Chips & ice cream seem like a well-balanced Meal.

• The tumble dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

• Your husband is suddenly agreeing with everything you say.

• You suddenly blurt out, “all I ever do is give, give, give” when someone asks you for the salt at the table.

• You buy your husband a new T-shirt… with a bulls-eye on the front.

• The knife sticking from your co-workers forehead.

• Everybody’s head looks like a squishy stress-reliever ball.

• Men’s faces contort and then they flee from your path in terror.

8

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 3:53 pm Page 9

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 3:58 pm Page 11

HOT GOSS!

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 3:58 pm Page 12

p i s s z i o b G how S

MARRIAGE MELTDOWN - BEYONCE & JAY Z’S… Beyonce and Jay Z were serving up drama at their dinner party last month! A source who attended the function that the superstar couple’s marriage woes were very apparent to those in attendance. “They had a private dinner for about ten people consisting of their inner circle, family and business partners,” the insider said. According to the guest, “They could hardly have been more detached!” “Beyonce and Jay Z barely spoke two words to each other the entire evening.” the source claimed. They have been facing rumors of divorce for more than a year now. And according to an insider, the two are already living in separate bedrooms in their Beverly Hills rental home.

DIVORCE & LYME DISEASE LINKED? Was Yolanda Foster's Lyme disease linked to her divorce? Yolanda has now spoken out about what caused her split from David Foster. "Unfortunately it was not strong enough to withstand the circumstances that came our way," she said of her marriage. When asked if her Lyme disease played a role in the divorce, Yolanda added, "Well, chronic long-term illness is extremely challenging. Not only for the person sick but also for the caregiver. It for sure changed the dynamic of the relationship." But other sources told People that David Foster did want to work on his marriage. But Yolanda's "obsession with fame" was too much to overcome.

Well folks I guess we’ll never know what happens behind closed doors etc...

'HE'S HER SOULMATE'... Billie Piper has 'turned to protective ex-hus-

band Chris Evans for support' during Laurence Fox marriage split. According to The Mirror, the 33-year-old has turned to her 49-year-old so-called 'soulmate' every time that she's argued with estranged Laurence, 37, much to his - and Chris' wife Natasha Shishmanian's - dismay.

12

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 3:58 pm Page 13

HOT GOSS!

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 3:58 pm Page 14

p i s s z i o b G how S

INDIANA JONES 5 IS HAPPENING! Harrison Ford and Steven Spielberg are involved... it’s official – Indiana Jones 5 is definitely happening. What great news to start the day with! And the best part? Harrison Ford will be back to play Indy, and Steven Spielberg will direct the latest film from the franchise after heading up the previous four films. "Indiana Jones is one of the greatest heroes in cinematic history, and we can't wait to bring him back to the screen in 2019," said Alan Horn, chairman of The Walt Disney Studios. Da, da, da, da..... Da da da!

JESSICA WRIGHT AND JAMES HILL... Well, would you look at this,

there’s a new celebrity couple in town. The Only Way Is Essex Jess Wright star is reportedly dating former Apprentice contestant and Celebrity Big Brother champ James Hill. In September last year James told a magazine that Jess was his dream girlfriend and the pair have since hit it off. He’s taken her out of Essex and on posh dates to the top class restaurant at London hotel Claridges. A source told the Daily Mirror: “James and jess are absolutely smitten with each other. She thinks he is gorgeous and was won over by the posh Claridges dates.” Aww, we hope it works out!

THE TABLES HAVE BEEN TURNED... KATIE Price was left stunned after her son with Peter Andre berated her for having been married three times - before admitting he can't wait to be a womaniser like his father. The glamour model, 37, was almost lost for words on today's special episode of Loose Women after Junior, ten, pulled her up on her failure to take her marriage vows seriously and asked why she divorced his famous father in 2009. Junior added that unlike his mum, he only plans to get married once - and he hopes he's inherited his father's way with the ladies lol!

14

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 3:58 pm Page 15

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 3:58 pm Page 16

Bizarre Meeting...

All of the nine senior members of the Board of Directors of the company were called into the chairman's office one by one until only Bob, the sole junior member, was left sitting outside.

Finally it was his turn to be summoned. He entered the office to find the chairman and the ten other directors seated around the board table. He was invited to join them, which of course he did.

Have you ever had sex with Mrs. Foyt?

As soon as he sat down, the chairman turned to Bob looking him squarely in the eyes, and with a stern voice, asked....

“Have you ever had sex with Mrs. Foyt, my secretary?”

“Oh, no sir, positively not!” Bob replied.

“Are you absolutely sure?” asked the chairman.

“Honest, I’ve never even been close enough to touch her!”

“You’d swear to that?”

“Yes, I swear I’ve never had sex with Mrs. Foyt anytime, anywhere.”

“Good, then you fire her!”

16

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 3:58 pm Page 17

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 3:58 pm Page 18

Al Fresco Living Outdoor furniture

Your outdoor area is so important when living on the Costa del Sol. Your terrace becomes an extension of the lounge. Here are some tips from White Design Company when considering new furniture or decoration.

1) First thing is to think about what you would like. Lounging, dining, sunbathing, or perhaps all three? This is often where we come into it for advice. Does the space get a lot of sun or wind? We can quite often help with multipurpose pieces to accommodate smaller areas. You may want a lounge area to eat at as well.

2) If you are buying a dining table and chairs we will measure the space

you have. Keeping in mind that the chairs around the table need approx.

60cm of space behind to move the chair out and ideally another 60cm for people to walk around. Oval or Round tables also allow for an extra chair or two to be added with comfort when required.

3) The material you choose is very important.

It must be durable to withstand the elements. The summer sun and the cold winter can be very hard on your furniture.

We can advise what is best for you. From rattan to aluminium, wood or perhaps some textylene that is very popular at the minute.

4) If you’re going for cushions,

18

look for fabrics ideally that have been Teflon coated or ask us about the new faux leathers that will withstand the sun. We put longer zips on our cushions when making them, it is sod’s law you burst one when taking them off to wash. Here at White Design Company we can advise on the many fabrics available to suit your furniture and the look you are aiming to achieve.

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 3:58 pm Page 19

5) When choosing shade, there are many different parasols, shade sails, pergolas etc. to choose from and what base is needed to stop it flying away in the wind. White Design Company can advise on this.

6) If you’re working with a small space,

stackable stools/chairs will conserve space. They’ll take up less room around the table. White Design Company have many options for fold away tables and chairs, for the smaller spaces.

Remember you can borrow extra chairs from inside occasionally to use on the terrace if you are entertaining.

7) Outdoor accessories,

just like your indoors, can change the look dramatically. New cushions, outdoor rugs, storm candles, heaters and lighting to mention a few.

8) Outdoor covers can be made to measure. It is so much easier to use

them if you are not here all the time and the property is not in use. No washing dusty furniture when you get back. Just take the covers off and relax with a well-earned glass of wine. Please ask us for advice.

We could go on forever about outdoor furniture as there are so many beautiful designs to choose from. One thing we can say though is, with outdoor furniture you really do get what you pay for. We are here to advise from the furniture through to the decoration. We work with many good companies, so come along and visit us for more advice.

Enjoy the lovely weather and don’t forget the sun cream.

Edif. Butibamba la Cala de Mijas, Mijas Costa email: info@whitedesignco.com | www.whitedesignco.com Tel: 952 494 155 | Mob: 600 583 673 find us on facebook

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 3:58 pm Page 20

Costa Rents

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:00 pm Page 21

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:00 pm Page 22

Just a thought...

1) I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2) Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.

3) Half the people you know are below average.

4) 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5) 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6) A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7) A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8) If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

9) All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

10) The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

11) I almost had a psychic girlfriend...But she left me before we met.

12) OK, so what's the speed of dark?

13) How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

14) If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

15) Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16) When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

18) Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.

17) Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

22

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:00 pm Page 23

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:00 pm Page 24

Just a thought...

19) To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

20) If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

21) Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

22) What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

23) My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

24) Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

25) If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

26) A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

27) Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

28) The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

29) I intend to live forever ... So far, so good.

30) The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

31) The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

32) Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

33) The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

34) If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

35) If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

24

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:00 pm Page 25

Bre

akfast

from €4.95

ce To Be... la P t s e B , ru o rB a B RBORU IGHT OUTSIDE BA

Time

NEW LIFT R

Kitchen open all day

Lunch

Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner

Fully stocked bar...

Welcome for a drink anytime For Reservations

€6.96

with drink

(Monday to Friday)

Carte

A' La

Indoor panoramic sea views, huge outdoor terrace and lounge area...

meal deal

SPECIAL OFFER

Three Courses for €24.95

(anything on the menu) first 20 people so please reserve Barboru, Top Floor, El Zoco, Calahonda in advance Check out our website (Advised for music nights)

952 933 158

UNDER NEW OWNERSHIP

ish a

ith N

w

Open 10am until late

Live Mus

for who is on and when!!

nd C ripps ! ”

r F n o ci iday

www.barboru.com

ick C ripps - "F

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:00 pm Page 26

TRIVIA QUIZ

1) Traditionally, what day are pancakes eaten on?

2) How many pieces are there in a chess game?

3) Bronze is an alloy of what two metals smelted together?

4) Which Japanese word translates into English as "empty orchestra"?

5) In Monopoly, what colour is the set: ‘Trafalgar Square, Fleet Street and Strand’?

6) In which US state is Hollywood situated?

7) What is the chemical name for ‘laughing gas’?

8) What do the letters RSVP stand for?

9) What is the target number in the card game ‘Pontoon’?

10) According to tradition, where must a true Cockney be born to be so called?

11) What is the name of the

poker hand containing three of a kind and a pair 12) In which month is St Andrew’s Day? 13) What do the initials FBI stand for?

14) Which side of a boat is 'port'?

15) In which modern day country would you find the region of Transylvania?

16) What is the name of the American national anthem?

17) Which ‘death game’ involves a pistol and a single bullet?

18) What colours are the Japanese flag?

19) What does 'Dot dot dot, dash dash dash, dot dot dot' spell out in Morse Code?

20) In connection with food what does the M stand for in GM food?

21) Which car name translates as 'people's car'?

22) Which triangle are ships said to have got lost in and never been seen again?

23) What is the hardest substance in the human body?

24) Where in a boat is the stern?

25) In which group of islands is Tenerife?

26) What do the initials in NATO stand for?

27) What is a Zepplin?

28) Which US State has the nickname 'The Sunshine State'?

29) How many words is a picture said to be worth?

30) What is the name of the mountain face in the USA into which the faces of four US presidents have been carved?

DRAIN & LEAK

Answers on page 88

SOLUTIONS

High Pressure water jetting Drain tracing, C.C.T.V. Septic tank problems and installations Bath, sinks and toilets unblocked Leak detection and repairs

Fully Qualified, Fully Legal, No Call Out Fee.

26

Tel: 951 310 111

Mobile: 651 111 005

Email: drainandleaksolutions@hotmail.com

CLM©2012

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:00 pm Page 27

SU

MM

ERS C O MING M A RK T H O

T UGH

...

Want to stay frozen over the HOT summer months? Get your Air Conditioning installed or serviced before the rush!

Esola have FANTASTIC deals on Domestic & Commercial Air Con this month give us a call on 952 550 323 or 616 119 007 We have all the best deals on A-rated inverters fully fitted!

BEST PRICES GUARANTEED Domestic and Commercial Air Conditioning (Heating and Cooling) Installations F-Gas 2079 Qualified You wouldn’t choose a non-qualified engineer to install your gas products in the UK...So why would you here?

All engineers required to handle HFC refrigerants must hold the new European F-Gas qualification from 4th July 2011 Card Meters and/or Sensors for air conditioning also available ideal for rented properties - STOP people abusing your electricity bill.

Price on application

Tel: 952 550 323 or 616 119 007 info@esola.es

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:00 pm Page 28

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question....

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do.." WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry? " HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: *"You would?" (with a hurt look) HUSBAND: (makes audible groan) WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would you give her my jewellery?"

HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."

WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you?

HUSBAND: "Yes, those are always good times."

WIFE: "Would she use my clubs?

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: -- silence --..... HUSBAND: "$£*!&^%$£@*&."

• Plants: Large & Small / Outdoor & Indoor • Furniture & Decoration • Pots & Planters • Weber BBQ’s

Tel: 952 581 247 www.viveroslavega.com administracion@viveroslavega.com 28

Camino Viejo de Coín, Km. 1.5 29651, Mijas Costa

Garden Centre

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:00 pm Page 29

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:00 pm Page 30

GADGETS &Gizmo’s Apple's latest smartphone, the iPhone SE, is about to go on sale it is a smaller, cheaper device that will be sold alongside Apple's iPhone 6s and 6s Plus models. The iPhone SE will replace the iPhone 5s - bringing Apple's 4-inch iPhone up to date with a 64-bit A9 chip as found in the newer iPhone models, a high-definition retina display, longer battery life, 4K video, faster 4G and Wi-Fi connectivity, and Touch ID with Apple Pay and a 12-megapixel camera with fast-focus technology.

Sources within Sony have indicated that the company is working on an upgraded PlayStation 4 console, referred to it as the "PlayStation 4.5," or the "PS4K." it will have a more powerful GPU to allow games to run in 4K resolution.

It will also provide better experiences with the PlayStation VR headset, which will be released in October. It could be feasible to deliver that much-higher resolution for games, as well as offer developers more muscle for effects and details. 37 million people who have already bought a PlayStation 4 expecting it to last well into the future?

Michael Kors already has a healthy lineup of watches in different shapes and sizes, but they want a piece of the smartwatch action. The American designer has launched a new line of Android Wear devices called "Access" a black "for him" version and a gold "for her." With an emphasis on the line's looks, the watches are intended to be "chic" tech accessories, but are iPhone & Android-compatible. They have exclusive display faces that you can switch around, depending on the occasion. The watches can show you app notifications, support Google's voice commands and have a built-in fitness tracker. They will be available this autumn.

30

Whilst on the subject of smart watches - TomTom have are about to launch The Golfer 2 which counts calories and steps taken using GPS. An incoming update to TomTom's MySports app will add per-shot analysis, showing when you’re driving too hard, or getting too much swing on a particular hole. It'll record every single round you play, so you can see how you're improving (or not), and will be on sale from May at around 250€.

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:03 pm Page 31

All the latest in the world of tech and gaming...

Who needs a heart rate monitor? MyZone’s pulse-tracking T-shirt can do it instead. The men’s’ compression top joins the women’s’ sports bra launched in January.

Electrodes are embedded through the shirt, Once you start working out, it’ll measure your heart rate and calorie burn, sending data to your smartphone or Apple Watch. The compression fitting will warm muscles and improve performance, as well as cutting down on strain and soreness. It’s made from a sweat-proof fabric, so you shouldn’t end up with drenched after a seriously high intensity workout. On sale soon for around 100€, in various sizes.

Digital SLR cameras don’t really get much cheaper than Canon’s new 1300D entry-level camera built for anyone stepping up from a smartphone or compact camera, on sale early this month at around 350€ for the body only, or 400€ for a complete kit with an 18-55mm lens. Canon have kept things simple, with a single command dial and a chunky mode dial.

There’s a fixed 3in TFT screen, and of course you get a proper viewfinder too. A big plus is the connection Wi-Fi, meaning you can control the camera remotely and share your photos with your smartphone, tablet or computer.

Domino's Pizza are looking at delivery robots. The DRU (Domino's Robotic Unit), an autonomous delivery vehicle built in collaboration with Australian technology startup Marathon Targets that Domino's says is the first of its kind. It's filled with thousands of dollars worth of military robotics tech still in the prototype stage, Domino's worked with the Queensland Department of Transport and Main Roads to ensure it met all the requirements to allowed on the streets. It uses the same technology as self-driving cars, to identify the surrounding environment and has built-in GPS tracking technology that syncs with Google Maps.

One thing that you sometimes see advertised is an erotic photoshoot for couples who want to remember their sexy days in their dotage. Now, thanks to the confluence of digital photography and 3D-printing, you can now go one better and immortalize yourself in three dimensions. British retailer Firebox is launching Nudee, a service that adds your head onto a 7.8-inch figurine that's wearing nothing but underwear. All you have to do is take two selfies: one face on and one in profile, as well as choosing a body type between slim, curvy or muscular. Then all you have to do is pay €189.79 and wait the 3-4 weeks it'll take for delivery.

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:03 pm Page 32

30 Things that mildly terrify all Brit’s...

1. When the alarm goes off as you’re leaving a shop even though you know you’ve paid for everything.

2. When someone tries to open the door to your toilet cubicle.

3. When a wasp gets into the car when you are driving on the motorway.

4. When you check Facebook after a night out and see the words: “blah, blah added 6 photos of you.”

5. When the waiter asks if you’re ready to order and everyone says yes but you still haven’t chosen your main course.

6. When there’s only one slice of pizza left and you really, really want it, but know it would be rude.

7. When you hit a massive traffic jam and you have a flight to catch.

8. When they weigh your suitcase at the airport and you forgot to check whether it’s under 20kg.

32

9. Walking through airport security, even though you know you’ve done nothing wrong.

10. When you really need a wee on an aeroplane but the person in the aisle seat has fallen asleep.

11. The moment you realise you’re actually the one who’s wrong in an argument but it’s far too late to back down.

12. When your boss compliments you on your work and you have no idea how to react.

13. When it’s your birthday and the lights go out and you know it’s only a matter of seconds before everyone starts singing at you.

14. Unexpected items in the bagging area.

15. When a big daddylong legs flies into your bedroom.

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:03 pm Page 33

TV - AUDIO - SATELLITE - INTERNET • Satellite, Internet & Terrestrial TV • Community Specialist • TV for all Nationalities

NEW

• Main European Sports Channels Available

4G

Wireless Internet Speeds up to

50MB load lim Un

ite

dd

n ow

SUPERFAST INTERNET AVAILABLE ANYWHERE IN SPAIN • WEEKLY WIFI RENTALS

952 80 24 57 / 952 79 49 00

www.orbitsl.com - info@orbitsl.com Puerto Paraíso Local 15 - 29680 - (Estepona Port)

Working On The Costa Del Sol Since 1990

HILLTOP PROPERTY SERVICES S.L. PROPERTY MANAGEMENT...

PROPERLY MANAGED!

ARE YOU RENTING OUT YOUR PROPERTY? If so, you should be aware of the new legislation which states that you need to be registered with the local authority We offer a number of services which includes advising owners about the above registration and making sure they understand the new property requirements for short term rentals

Failure to comply with this new law will incur heavy fines Cleaning and laundry, monthly inspections, general repairs and building works, etc. are among the other property management options we offer

Should you need to learn more...

For a friendly, no obligation chat - please call

(+34) 951 978 046

(+34) 600 795 113

email: info@hilltopprops.net

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:03 pm Page 34

your MIND ownB ESS N I S U B N I A G BAR

BUSIN

REAL ESTATE AGENCY

Situated in a very busy commercial centre.

Established for two years - recently refurbished.

80 Properties on their registers all of which are direct instructions.

CK SALE I U Q R O F D E C 15.000â‚Ź REDU www.business-sales-spain.com Telephone: 951 254 222 Mobile: 663 061 669 info@business-sales-spain.com

W

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:03 pm Page 35

BUSINESS SINESS

SALES

&

RENTALS

WE NEED YOUR BUSINESS We have buyers waiting

For a professional service that cares about selling your business please contact us

WE URGENTLY NEED MORE BUSINESSES FOR SALE To receive updates on all new instructions go to: www.facebook.com/business.sales.spain and press like.

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:03 pm Page 36

your MIND ownB B U S I

Advertising your business for s NO up front fees NO hidden charges

Restaurant in Busy Port: 89.000€

Modern American Diner style restaurant in a high profile frontline position. Extremely busy restaurant. It has an excellent reputation and a TripAdvisor certificate of excellence.

Printers Specialising in T-shirts, Signs & Promotional Items. 22.000€

Established on the Costa del Sol for 16 years.

Top quality machinery that has been kept in good condition.

Choice of 2 FANTASTIC Restaurants 59.000€ - 190.000€ Between San Pedro and Estepona.

Both with VERY HIGH ratings on Tripadvisor...

Bar In Centre of Sabinillas 35.000€ In the very centre of Sabinillas...

With a regular and loyal clientele also includes a two bedroom flat!

www.business-sales-spain.com Telephone: 951 254 222 Mobile: 663 061 669 info@business-sales-spain.com

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:03 pm Page 37

BUSINESS S I N E S S

S A L E S

&

R E N TA L S

for sale in Spain and the UK NO advertising fees NO sale - NO fee

Inland Printing & Magazine Business 25.000€

This Printing and Magazine business has been running for 13 years in its current location and has huge scope for expansion.

MailBox & Courier Office Marbella 170.000€

This business is a must have!

A very high profile shop/office in Marbella.

Restaurant, Fuenigirola: 29.900€

This beautiful restaurant right in the very centre of Fuengirola opened about four years ago. Situated in an attractive square just a minutes walk from the seafront.

Choice of 2 Car Body Shop & Sprayers, Marbella: from 35.000€

WE URGENTLY NEED MORE BUSINESSES FOR SALE To receive updates on all new instructions go to: www.facebook.com/business.sales.spain and press like.

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:04 pm Page 38

30 Things that mildly terrify all Brit’s...

16. “To begin, why don’t we go round the room, and everybody tell us your name and a fun fact about yourself!”

17. When you’re doing rounds and one person asks for something really expensive, like a double G&T. 18. When you buy someone a pint and they don’t say, “I’ll get your next one.”

19. When you drink much quicker than the other people in your round but don’t want to be left drinkless.

20. Leaving a voicemail.

21. When you see someone you know in the supermarket but really don’t want them to see you because you haven’t spoken in years.

22. When someone coughs on the train so you know you’re going to get ill.

23. “Rail replacement bus service.”

24. When you accidentally view a message someone’s sent you and you don’t want to talk to them.

38

25. When you have to go up to the loft but you know there are spiders up there.

26. When someone knocks on the door and you’re only wearing a towel.

27. When you arrive at a party and no one you know is there yet.

28. When you ask someone “Alright?” and they give more than a three-word answer.

29. When you know a colleague takes the same route to work as you and there’s a chance you might bump into them.

30. When you’re about to meet a new person and don’t know whether to go for one kiss/two kisses/a hug/a handshake.

more next month...!

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:04 pm Page 39

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:04 pm Page 40

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:05 pm Page 41

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:05 pm Page 42

Alton Towers Resort got cheeky and sent out reports that it will unveil a rollercoaster for dogs. The supposed poochcoaster will be fitted with booster seats for small dogs and harnesses to secure a hairy yet safe ride.

Animal love doesn’t stop there: Sir Richard

Branson is peddling his first ever pet-only Virgin Active gym to ease concern about obesity amongst housebroken animals.

Beauty tip for the day: Don't believe a word

you hear about the goo in Cadbury Creme Eggs being good for your skin.

Doggy style:

Pasante is pretending to have tapped into a new market by inventing dog condoms.

Berry good for you: Who says a boffin can't

join in on some nerdy fun? Scientists today say are fighting the war on poor nutrition by developing the Vitaberry. It's the shape of a raspberry, the colour of a blueberry and has the seeds and feel of a strawberry.

42

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:05 pm Page 43

TERRACE HE

CAFE • BAR • BISTRO

OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK MONDAY TO SUNDAY 09:30 to 21:00

BREAKFAST LUNCH CREAM TEAS EVENING BISTRO (ALL FRESHLY PREPARED HOME COOKED FOOD) SUNNY TERRACE, SEA VIEWS

Tel: 627 192 545 Email: terracecalahonda@gmail.com LIFT & STAIR ACCESS

Local 5, CC Los Cipreses, Primera Planta, Calahonda, 29649 Mijas Costa. Km 196 (above Chinese Bazaar by Lidl)

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:05 pm Page 44

What a WHOPPER! Burger King published a full-page advertisement in USA Today announcing the introduction of a new item to their menu: a "LeftHanded Whopper" specially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans. According to the advertisement, the new whopper included the same ingredients as the original Whopper (lettuce, tomato, hamburger patty, etc.), but all the condiments were rotated 180 degrees for the benefit of their left-handed customers. The following day Burger King issued a followup release revealing that although the Left-Handed Whopper was a hoax, thousands of customers had gone into restaurants to request the new sandwich.

Simultaneously, according to the press release, "many others requested their own 'right handed' version."

Scratch & Sniff: One of the funniest corporate

try-on of the day comes from Whyte & Mackay, claiming to market aftershave that smells like whisky.

If that wasn’t enough for you to sniff out the swindle, try this: the company tapped darts legend Phil Taylor to market the product.

44

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:05 pm Page 45

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:05 pm Page 46

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:05 pm Page 47

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:05 pm Page 48

A Man’s World

THINGS WOMEN JUST CAN’T DO… Go 24 hours without talking to their friends on the phone

THROW

ounts Use smallt am r pe pa of toile Eat a really hot curry

Park

LIFT fart

Know anything about a car except it’s colour

Drink a pint gracefully

Play pool

Eat a kebab whilst walking

Resist Ikea Sit st ill run Get told off without crying Do magic

a decent read a map Makebacon

Get to the point

sandwich

Understand fruit machines

Pee out of a train window

Spend a day by themselves

Choose anything quickly Understand a film plot Throw a punch without having to ask, Roll a bogey between “What’s going on” finger & thumb on t Not commen 20 times s he ot cl stranger’s Argue without SHOUTING

TELL A JOKE

Get this far without having argued with at least one of the above...

48

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:05 pm Page 49

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:05 pm Page 50

It’s the way you tell’um...

REALLY funny one liners...

I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 gravediggers walking about with a coffin. 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it. I thought to myself, They’ve lost the plot!!

The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death.

My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!! Blow this, I thought. I can get one cheaper off the web.

I was at an ATM yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.

I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.

I was driving this morning when I saw a parked RAC van. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself, that guy's heading for a breakdown.

50

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:38 pm Page 51

ACP Property Management All your needs under one roof

WE HAVE MOVED E ERRACE THnta T TO NEX Cipreses, Primera Pla ,

T

HE

• BISTRO

CAFE • BAR Local 6, CC Los inese Bazaar by Lidl) Ch ove (ab 196 . Km Calahonda, 29649 Mijas Costa

• Car Hire • Excursions • Ibex Insurance • Internet/TV Installations • Non-resident taxes • Offex Postal Services • Passport Renewals • Transfers

ACP Property Management ´Specialists´ in Property Management & Rentals With over 28 Years on the Coast • Property Maintenance & Refurbs • Cleans, Laundry & Changeovers

Office: (0034) 952 934 527 Mobile: (0034) 618 052 531 or (0034) 607 851 367

info@acpproperty.com www.acpproperty.com Local 6, CC Los Cipreses, Primera Planta, Calahonda, 29649 Mijas Costa. Km 196 (above Chinese Bazaar by Lidl)

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 28/03/16 10:32 am Page 52

It’s the way you tell’um...

REALLY funny one liners continued...

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning. Can you believe that - 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my bagpipes.

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not Happy.

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening."

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.

Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London.

Police think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam.

My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.

GET A WHOLE load more for your money... with COSTA LINK MAGAZINE print, web, social media costa link magazine is ahead of pack...

call the costa link team 52

tel: 951 254 222 or 663 061 669 email: sales@costalinkmagazine.com | web: www.costalinkmagazine.com

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:39 pm Page 53

Website: www.sunhomesspain.es Email: info@sunhomesspain.es Tel: 952 660 465 Mobile: 666 655 257

SH Sun Homes Continental Real Estate Agency

WANTED PROPERTIES FOR SALE AND RENTAL FOR SALE: Carvajal, BenalmĂĄdena Costa. 165.000â‚Ź Fantastic Apartment with sea and mountains views. 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, one en-suite. Large terrace with sea views. Outside parking, pool. 5 Minutes walk to the beach. Close to the train station and bus stop. Quiet and nice area to live.

FOR SALE: Don Juan, Fuengirola. 149.000â‚Ź Cozy apartment in Fuengirola. 1 Bedroom, 1 bathroom. Nice terrace, garage, communal pool area. Quality furniture. Storeroom. 5 Minutes walking to the beach. 2 Minutes walk to the train station and bus stop.

FOR SALE: Ponderosa, Fuengirola. 234.000â‚Ź 3 Bedrooms townhouse. First floor, open kitchen, lounge & terrace.

2nd floor, 2 bedroom and bathroom. Big terrace on the top floor.

Down stairs, open kitchen, lounge, bathroom and 1 bedroom. Close to the Miramar Commercial Center. 10 Minutes walk to the beach. costalinkmagazineŠ2016

Affordable Accommodation in El Chorro Spain 200 metres from Las Encantadas crag Offering relaxing holidays or Short Breaks

Â&#x152; 6M_ )K\Q^Q\QM[" +IVWMQVO 8IZIOTQLQVO 9]IL *QSQVO 0WZ[M <ZMSSQVO

Â&#x152; +TQUJQVO ?ITSQVO Â&#x152; 8IQV\QVO 0WTQLIa[ Â&#x152; -V[]Q\M *MLZWWU[ Â&#x152; 8ZW 3Q\KPMV .IKQTQ\QM[ Â&#x152; 8WWT <IJTM .ZMM ?1.1 Â&#x152; 8ZQ^I\M ;_QUUQVO 8WWT Â&#x152; *MI]\QN]T ;M\\QVO NWZ ?MLLQVO[ ;XMKQIT 7KKI[QWV[

www.olivebranchelchorro.co.uk

T OB B&B

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:39 pm Page 54

It’s the way you tell’um...

REALLY funny one liners continued...

When I was in the pub I heard a couple of plonkers saying that they wouldn't feel safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman. What a pair of sexists. I mean, it's not as if she'd have to reverse the bloody thing!.

Bought some rocket salad yesterday but it went off before I could eat it!

Local police hunting the 'knitting needle nutter', who has stabbed six people in the rear in the last 48 hours, believe the attacker could be following some kind of pattern.

A teddy bear is working on a building site. He goes for a tea break and when he returns he notices his pick has been stolen. The bear is angry and reports the theft to the foreman. The foreman grins at the bear and says "Oh, I forgot to tell you, today's the day the teddy bears have their pick nicked."

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.

Cat and Dog World Kennels & Cattery ALHAURIN EL GRANDE

• SUPERB FULLY LICENSED FACILITIES • COLLECTION AND DELIVERY • ANIMAL TRANSPORTATION TO THE UK / FRANCE • TRACES, OCA, DEFRA LICENSED • LOW COST NEUTERING CLINIC Tel 952 112 978 / 630 197 435 WWW.CAT-AND-DOG-WORLD.COM

This is Molly...

Meet Molly she is a small dog weighing 6-7kg she was born on the 18th of March 2013. We rescued her form a dog pound.

She is brown with white patches and of mixed breed.

Molly is very shy at the moment but would love a new home wtih lots of affection and cuddles.

54

PET TRANSPORT SPAIN-UK, UK-SPAIN • Fully licensed • First class conditions • All paperwork dealt with Tel: 630 197 435

costalinkmagazine©2016

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:39 pm Page 55

Medical Tips

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:39 pm Page 56

BACK PAIN & HOW TO TREAT IT…

Back pain is a common problem that affects most people at some point in their life. It may be triggered by bad posture while sitting or standing, bending awkwardly, or lifting incorrectly. It’s not generally caused by a serious condition. In most cases, back pain will improve in a few weeks or months, although some people experience long-term pain or pain that keeps coming back.

TypeS of Back pain

Backache is most common in the lower back ('lumbago'), although it can be felt anywhere along your spine, from your neck down to your hips. Sometimes, back pain can be caused by an injury or disease, such as:

• a SLippeD DiSc: when one of the discs in the spine is damaged and presses on the nerves • SciaTica: irritation or compression of the sciatic nerve, which causes pain, numbness and tingling that travels down one leg • WhipLaSh: neck injury caused by a sudden impact • frozen ShouLDer: inflammation around the shoulder that causes pain and stiffness • ankyLoSinG SponDyLiTiS: a long-term condition that causes pain and stiffness where the spine meets the pelvis

WhaT To Do

Most cases of back pain get better on their own and you may not need to see a doctor. if you’ve only had back pain for a few days or weeks, the following advice may help relieve your symptoms and speed up your recovery: •remain as active as possible and try to continue with your daily activities •Take over-the-counter painkillers, such as paracetamol or ibuprofen if you feel you need to •use hot or cold compression packs – you can buy these from your local pharmacy, or a bag of frozen vegetables and a hot water bottle will work just as well

LonG-TerM Back pain

if you’re worried about your back or your pain hasn’t improved by around six weeks, it’s a good idea to visit your doctor, they can advise you about the treatments available.

These include: • Stronger painkillers • exercise classes – where you are taught specific exercises to strengthen your muscles and improve your posture • Manual therapy, such as physiotherapy, chiropractic or osteopathy • acupuncture • counselling, such as cognitive behavioural therapy (cBT) • Support and advice at a specialist pain clinic

although it can be difficult to be cheerSome people choose to see a theraful or optimistic if you are in pain, it’s pist for manual therapy or acupuncimportant to stay positive because ture without seeing their Gp first. if this can help you recover faster. you want to do this you will usually need to pay for private treatment, which is likely to cost around 50€ for each appointment.

prevenTinG Back pain

how you sit, stand, lie and lift can all affect the health of your back.

Try to avoid placing too much pressure on your back and ensure it's strong and supple. regular exercise, such as walking and swimming, is an excellent way of preventing back pain.

activities such as yoga or pilates can improve your flexibility and strengthen your back muscles.

check that you are sitting in the correct position also that you are lifting objects correctly.

CHECK OUT... Our website at www.costalinkmagazine.com for lots more Medical Tips!

56

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:39 pm Page 57

Health & Well Being

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:39 pm Page 58

MOST BIZARRE SLEEPING DISORDERS YOU DIDN’T KNOW EXISTED, SOME OF THESE WOULD CAUSE YOU TO GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT….

BIZARRE SLEEPING DISORDERS

#1 Sleep Paralysis

Many people will experience the feeling of being awake yet unable to move their body or make a sound…this is a form of sleep paralysis. Hallucinations have been known to appear for those who believe their awake, later leading to panic attacks. There is currently no cure for this haunting disorder. narcolepsy. This is due to their sleep cycles being disrupted, causing extreme exhaustion. The worst #2 Sleep Apnea cases ever seen cause people to fall asleep out of the This disorder causes people to suddenly stop blue, mid-task! breathing while sleeping... The muscles relax and your breathing passage begins to slowly close if you have #7 Fatal Familial Insomnia obstructive sleep apnea. Central sleep apnea occurs This rare disorder has been found in only 40 families when your brain doesn’t tell your body to around the world, and causes mental and physical continue breathing. deterioration due to lack of sleep. Your brain does not know when it should be asleep, therefore you stay up all #3 REM Sleep Behavior Disorder night. Of course every human needs sleep, so This disorder prevents the patient’s muscles to people begin to experience panic attacks, weight loss paralyze during the sleep, this means the sufferers and mental disturbances. The worst cases have led to would act out their dreams, speak in their sleep, act, death… kick, and even walk about as if they were awake.

#4 Exploding Head Syndrome

Exploding head syndrome is when the patient would hear loud imaginary noises when they are about to sleep or wake up. The noises have been explained as similar to bombs exploding, doors smashing etc. They might be accompanied with flashes of light and muscle spasm.

These episodes are caused due to a neural trigger, most probably bought on by sleep disruption.

#5 Kleine Levin Syndrome

#8 Sexomnia

Patients with this condition engage in sexual activities while completely asleep, with no control and recollection of their actions whatsoever. Most commonly it involves masturbation and fondling, but in some rare cases it can also lead to rape.

#9 Sudden Unexpected Nocturnal Death Syndrome

This condition can be presented in any patient often with little or no prior medical conditions or symptoms, though Sleeping beauty is a guy in real life, as it causes (mostly post-mortems reveal that majority patients found in young males) to sleep for over 20 hours a day, suffered from a heart condition. First noted in the for weeks at a time! When they are awake and moving 1970’s among the people of the Hmong community of around, these boys have high sexual drives and are con- Laos. The deaths among the community generated the stantly hungry. mythology of ‘dab tsuam’, a jealous hag-like woman, who would sit on the people and stop their breathing. #6 Narcolepsy It’s now thought that Hmong people were so convinced People who have trouble sleeping at night and are by the mythological story, that the fear triggered a constantly in a sleepy daze when awake suffer from genetic heart defect, causing the deaths.

58

CHECK OUT... our website at www.costalinkmagazine.com for more health & wellbeing features

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:39 pm Page 59

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:39 pm Page 60

Medical Mayhem

AND THE AWARD FOR BEST PATIENT GOES TOO...

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon, says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when...you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second, responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is colour coded."

The third surgeon, says, "No, I really think librarians are the best!

Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon, chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers..

Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.'

But the fifth surgeon, shut them all up when he said: 'You're all wrong.

Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine... Plus, the head and the bottom are interchangeable!"

DR PHILâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s FANTASTIC ADVICE...

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me, and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So, I looked around my house to see things I started, and hadn't finished; and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Kahlua, a packet of digestive biscuits, a pot of coffee, the rest of the Cheesecake, some salt and vinegar crisps, and a box of Chocolates. You have no idea how AMAZING I feel.

60

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:09 pm Page 61

ALL REVVED UP

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:09 pm Page 62

MITSUOKA MOTORS WHO ARE THEY?

Until now Mitsuoka Motors have only produced and sold cars in Japan, South East Asia and the Middle Now they are launching in one of the largest classic car markets in the world – The UK. We look at their current model and some of their previous offerings.

The Current model, The Roadster is based on the Mazda MX5. Mitsuoka replaces most of the body panels, fits Fibre-reinforced plastic panneling, leather seats and extends the wheelbase front of the A-pillar to generate the long bonnet line reminiscent of English roadsters such as the Jaguar XK120.

Transmission and roof options are similar to the MX-5 with the option of either a 6 speed automatic transmission with manual shifting or a 6 speed manual transmission.

The Viewt is a modification of the Nissan Micra intended to resemble the Jaguar Mark 2. The line was launched in January 1993 and is still in production today.

The Galue Limousine S50, based on the Infiniti M series (the Nissan luxury brand’s 5Series rival) and is powered by either a 223bhp or 313bhp V6. Styling elements are “borrowed” from the Cadillac Fleetwood, The Rolls Royce Phantom. Introduced in 2009 and still in production, the car will cost the equivalent of 80.000€.

The Mitsuoka Le-Seyde was a limited produced car, based on the Nissan Silvia S13.

Only 500 units were made, and Mitsuoka claims that all were sold within four days after they went on sale!

62

The Orochi Was produced between 2006 and 2014 originally based on a Honda NSX but production cars came with Mitsoka’s own chasis and a Toyota 3.3 V6 engine. The last edition was sold at around 125.000€

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:09 pm Page 63

THE REMOVAL PEOPLE /2&$/ 1$7,21$/ ,17(51$7,21$/ 5(029$/6 6725$*(

t 4&$63& 4)035 "/% -0/( 5&3. 4503"(& t &91035 1"$,*/( "/% 4)*11*/( t 7&)*$-&4 53"/41035&% "/% 4)*11&% t .07&34 0' "/5*26&4 "/% '*/& "35 t 1*"/0 .07&4 6/%&35",&/ t )064& $-&"3"/$& t 4*/(-& *5&.4 .07&% 03 4)*11&%

Call now for your free no obligation quote!

30 YEARS OF MOVING EXPERIENCE

0034 633 855 516 karl.theremovalpeople@gmail.com

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 28/03/16 10:34 am Page 64

Mussels cooked in Ale & Bacon Ingredients:

Serves 2 as a main or 4 as a starter

• 100g (3½oz) butter • 200g (7oz) pancetta cubed • 2 onions, peeled & diced • 8 cloves garlic, chopped • 1kg (2lb 4oz) mussels, scrubbed, any barnacles and beards (the thread-like bits where the two halves of the shell meet) removed • 200ml (7fl oz) dark ale • 3tbsp parsley, chopped

To serve

• Lemon wedges • Crusty bread

1) In a large pan heat the butter until it starts to foam, then add the pancetta. Fry until golden and crisp. Remove with a slotted spoon and put onto a plate lined with kitchen paper to drain until needed. Add the onions to the pan and cook until just softened and golden.

Method:

2) Add the chopped garlic and cook for a minute or two more until softened and just starting to brown.

Throw in the mussels and when the 4) Add the cooked pancetta back to pan is sizzling, slowly pour in the ale. the pan and stir through the chopped parsley. Serve the mussels in bowls 3) Cover with a lid and cook for with a squeeze of lemon juice and around 6-8 minutes until all the mus- some crusty bread to mop up all the sels have opened (discard any that lovely juices. haven’t opened up as these won’t be edible).

is your business being noticed?

we can help. .

call the costa link team 64

Make the most of the freshest produce with Tom Kerridge’s fab recipe

tel: 951 254 222 or 663 061 669 email: sales@costalinkmagazine.com

Harry’s Sports Bar

All Live Sports & Premiere League Football.

Six TV’s & Big Screen.

Full menu...

Sunday roast and homemade tapas.

Large sun terrace.

Open 10am-late, seven days a week.

Upstairs Los Jarales, Calahonda

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:10 pm Page 65

Stran

Strange Strangebuttrue...

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:10 pm Page 66

WELL I NEVER KNEW THAT....!

Some horrible histories… Here are some fascinating facts from years past explaining some of the sayings and customs we have today!

• England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people, so they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realised they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, thread it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift) to listen for the bell; thus someone could be, ''Saved by the Bell ''or was considered a ''Dead Ringer''.

• Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky.

The combination would sometimes knock the drinker out for a couple of days.

Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial.

They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of ''Holding a Wake''.

• "CORPSE": Commonly used word meaning cadaver or dead body in modern times.

However it stemmed from the 1400s when the Black Plague was rampant across Europe. The bodies were piled in a building called a "Corpselium" where they were treated and burned to prevent the spread of further infection.

GARDEN CENTER L I N D AV I S TA

66

Ctra de Cadiz, Km171,29670, San Pedro de Alcantara, Behind McDonalds in San Pedro. Tel; 952785206

CLM©2008

HU GE RA NGE OF: POT S lG ARD E N TO OLS lPLA NT S FLOW ERS & S HRU B S lG A RDEN FU RNI TU RE lG A R D E N O R N A M E N TS

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:10 pm Page 67

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:10 pm Page 68

FINANCIAL NEWS The Euro & World Round Up

The after effects of terrorist strikesâ&#x20AC;Ś

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rare that terrible events such as the one in Brussels occur, but unfortunately, enough have occurred for similar patterns on the currency exchange markets to become visible during terrorist attacks.

Firstly, you tend to get weakness in the currency to which the country the attacks occur uses. Investors worry about further attacks so they move their finances out of the country due to the economic stall which occurs when authorities fully mobilise to combat the threat over the coming weeks.

68

This occured for the Euro, but with Belgium being a single country in the entirety of the Eurozone this effect was muted compared to the slides on the Pound seen during 7/7.

The Euro has certainly lost value today, since EUR/AUD, and EUR/USD both show losses. The terrorist attacks simply limited losses on GBP/EUR that Euro buyers that should have otherwise been experiMany Euro buyers would have enced today. noted that on this occasion Sterling did not make gains There is certainly further room against the Euro. for GBP/EUR rates to fall. The events in Brussels are not only Other events in the UK caused a heartbreaking tragedy, but enough Pound weakness also show that the the Pound across the board which was shall continue to be a reckless the deciding factor not only on investment until the Euro buying rates, but also for Referendum in June. most major currencies.

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:10 pm Page 69

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:10 pm Page 70

What’s On Guide...

1st April 2016: Maddona & Robbie Williams Tribute - Enjoy two brilliant tributes to two great pop icons in one incredible show!At the Salon Varietes Theatre in Fuengirola for more information: email: boxoffice@salonvarietestheatre.com , tel: 952 474 542 or see: www.salonvarietestheatre.com.

2nd April 2016: San Pedro Rock Concert - Participating groups are '77, 29SEIS70, The Hum, Sidderales, Crude Rock, Dispersal, Three in rallla and The Rock Kids. In addition, between performances, the festival will be presented by by Dj Carlos. Tickets are priced at 5€ and children under 14 years enter free. To be held at is at the Estadio Municipal de San Pedro Alcántara from 1pm – 8pm.

8th to the 13th April 2016: Are You Being Served? Written for the stage by original TV series scriptwriters at the Salon Varietes Theatre in Fuengirola for more information: email: boxoffice@salonvarietestheatre.com , tel: 952 474 542 or see: www.salonvarietestheatre.com.

16th April 2016: The Rat Pack - A Live From Las Vegas Tribute at the Salon Varietes Theatre in Fuengirola for more information: email: boxoffice@salonvarietestheatre.com , tel: 952 474 542 or see: www.salonvarietestheatre.com.

22nd April - 1st May 2016: Spanish Film Festival - In Málaga, the whole capital enjoys this event, which contributes to the development of the Spanish Film, presenting and awarding the best short and long films and documentaries, as well as paying tribute to great figures of the Spanish film industry.

Fore more information please see festivaldemalaga.com 30th April 2016: Food Fair & Orange Day in Istan the small town goes to great lengths to retrieve old, traditional recipes in order to let the younger generation, and all the visitors who come to the town on the day of the exhibition, get to know some of their healthy culinary legacy. On this day, the stoves are made ready to prepare exquisite dishes. For more information please see: www.istan.es.

Every Monday: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain at La Iglesia Bar, near Bonanza Square, Benalmadena Costa 11am -12.30pm.

Every Monday: Arts and Crafts Fair in Benahavis at 8pm in the Main Square in Benahavis.

Every Monday: Age Concern Drop In for a coffee and a chat at The Captain’s bar Urb. Las Adelfas No. 11 from 11.30am to 1.00pm.

Every Tuesday: The Costa Women Coffee Club meet every second Tuesday at 10am – 12.30pm for coffee, chats and other activities and is a social group designed to get ladies of all ages together. It’s best to join the group via Facebook or contact Emma on 608 408 771.

Every Tuesday: Age Care Coffee Morning at the Baptist Church, Calahonda, where people can chat, share experiences & take part in a variety of activities. Tel: 952 933 409 for info. 11 am – 1 pm.

Every Tuesday: Age Concern meet at the Manila bar in Los Boliches, next to the Yaramar hotel for Spanish lessons in the afternoon from 3.00pm until 3.45pm. Lifeline 652 537 615.

Every Wednesday: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain held in Fuengirola at the Bar Salon Varietes. 11am -12.30pm.

Every Thursday: Age Concern meet at the Manila bar in Los Boliches, next to the Yaramar hotel for advice, support and friendship from 11.00am until 1.00pm. Pop in and meet new people and make new friends. Lifeline 652 537 615.

Every Thursday: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain held in The Pensioner's Bar, Paseo Maritimo La Cala from 11am-12.30pm.

Every Thursday: Market at Calypso, Calahonda.

Every Thursday: Flea Market from 9am next to Aldi in Las Lagunas, plenty of parking.

Every Thursday: Market at Calypso, Calahonda.

Every Friday: Age Concern meet at El Caballo de Oro in La Cala from 11.30 until 1.00pm. In the main square behind Supersol.

Advice, support and friendship. Lifeline 652 537 615.

Every Sunday: FAMA have a car boot sale at the Hippodrome from 9am - 2pm.

Every Sunday: Craft Market in the Marbella Marina on the Teresa Zabell Pier: 12-6pm.

70

If you have an event, fundraiser or anything else please let us know... email: editor@costalinkmagazine.com or phone: 951 216 131.

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:11 pm Page 71

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:11 pm Page 72

ocal Info Emergency Numbers

---

Central number for Fire, Police & Ambulance National Police Local Police Guardia Civil dica

Medical

112 091 092 062

Emergency 061 Ambulance Marbella 902 505 061 Ambulance Coin 952 453 267

Train Timetables 902 240 202 Airports Malaga 952 048 844 Gibraltar 956 773 026

Health Centres

Marbella 952 769 946 Coin 952 452 767 San Pedro 952 787 700

Town Halls

Marbella 952 761 100 San Pedro 952 453 020 La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208 Fuengirola 952 589 300 Estepona 952 801 100

Fire Brigade

Emergency number 080 Marbella 952 774 349 Estepona 952 804 483 Fuengirola 952 461 046

Consulates

British Ireland Denmark Sweden Germany France U.S.A

952 952 952 952 952 952 952

Marbella Coin Estepona Fuengirola San Pedro

952 771 442 952 822 818 952 822 818 952 467 457 952 785 252

352 475 226 604 212 226 474

300 108 373 383 442 590 891

Tourist Information

72

Transport

Bus Stations Marbella 952 764 400 Coin 952 450 366 San Pedro 952 781 396 Estepona 952 800249 For a list of complete times www.andalucia.com/travel/bus

Markets

Monday - Marbella (fairground site on east side) Tuesday - Fuengirola (fairground near Los Boliches) Wednesday -Estepona (Avda.

Juan Carlos) La Cala - Feria ground.

Thursday - San Pedro (Recinto Ferial) Calypso (Mijas Costa).

Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama) Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano Pineda) & Nueva Andalucia (Next to Centro Plaza the Bullring).

La Cala - Feria ground.

Sunday - Puerto Estepona (Marina).

Cinemas

All the Cinemas listed below show films in English as well as Spanish. Call first to check what is showing that week.

Marbella: Cinesur Plaza del Mar 952 766 941 La CaĂąada 902 333 231 Puerto Banus: Gran Marbella 952 810 077 Coin: La Trocha 951 315 039 Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221 622

Chemists

24 hour chemist Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz Km 194. Marbella.

Tel: 952 83 25 89

Taxis

Marbella Taxis 952 774 488 Mijas Costa Taxis 952 476 593

Diary Dates

1st April: April Fools Day

23rd April: St. Georgeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day

check out our website www.costalinkmagazine.com for cinema listings in VOSE

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:11 pm Page 73

Marble Floor Polishing Phone Paul: 654 589 218 Before

After

Free advice on how to care for your floors at www.marblefloor.info

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:11 pm Page 74

S TA R S I GN S

A look at what's in store for you during April 2016...

Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

Aries

Taurus

Gemini 74

Capricorn, April 2016 is an interesting month for you’re love life, with complex and changing directions. Venus is in an area of your solar chart that gives a certain need of emotional security. The warmth of home and family could give the needed emotional comfort you crave. But then Mercury comes on the scene, in a prolonged transit (April 6th - June 13th 2016) and it’s in retrograde. OMG Mercury had driven you to be a serial flirt! Expect love and a lot of fun! On the work front it’s unlikely that April 2016 would bring new initiative for your career or business. It looks more likely to be plodding along the same old line using tried, efficient and secure methods. It’s time to reset your priorities and take better care of yourself.

Sports, being active outdoors, and a few more hours of relaxation per week would be welcome.

Aquarius, this month is full of changes in you’re love life. Everything is in moving and changing, progressing. Venus and the Sun are the key factors to this month meaning that the most significant events of the month are travel and communication. It could mean dates and romantic travel, short escapades in two somewhere nearby or travel motivated by feelings. On the work front Mars is bringing with it great insights to progress your career path on the downside though starts its retrograde motion. So even if you’re on the right track, you could encounter obstacles that slow you down, or face unexpected complications or changes.

You are in pretty good shape during this month. You have good strength and great energy; your mood is confident and optimistic. But sometimes you rush too much and tend to take risks, and this could end up in incidents that could affect you, including physically. Think before you act this month...

Pisces, Jupiter is bringing to your sign plenty luck this will last until September 2016.

Relationships are just great you have the full backing of the stars everything is going your way. But during April 2016 an interesting phenomena takes place: Mercury enters your sign where it will stay twice as long as usual. This configuration emphasises the importance of communication for the health of the relationship or to find the right partner it will a strong impact on your love life. On the work front though April 2016 does not look at all easy for you when it comes to career. Mars and Saturn in your skies bring with them difficulties, obstacles, and delays. Things could become more complicated, stagnate temporarily or take unexpected turn after April 17th 2016, when Mars retrograde. But April 2016 is productive for you in terms of finance. Focus on important things and plan your agenda carefully!

Aries, between April 5th and 30th Venus is situated in your sign. You’re will attract attention and glances wherever you go you’ll also have lots of luck in love. It’s a time when you can meet your soul mate, if that’s what you’re looking for, if not a great time to have fun without taking on any commitments. On the work front April brings with it chances of accomplishments and success. Situated in Aries, the Sun gives you authority, and promises opportunities for advancement and for you to stand out. And in some situations this month you will just have sheer luck! Money comes your way easily, particularly during the first two weeks of the month of April 2016; you have to rethink the way spend it. You start to see that you can do better for your buck. You’re in good shape although you may want to invest some money in resolving some health-related issues, or to stay in shape.

Taurus, Mars is situated in an unfavorable part of your sign and is very much in retrograde. Let just say you’ve seen better times... You can deal with the term well if are as rational as possible. Try not to pick fights with your partner and if arguments start put a stop to them as soon as possible. The loverelated hurdles aren’t long lasting but may be irritating. Financial matters are hot topics in April 2016 and you might be tempted to make important decisions. Weigh your opportunities with great, great care!

Careful: during the first two weeks, your physical endurance is not as good as you’d like it to be. Try to take better care of yourself! You should rest, avoid excess, and take any health issue seriously, no matter how insignificant it might seem. Avoid any attempt to earn easy or not-worked-for money! It’s not advised to take financial risks.

Gemini, this month you’re love life remains a delicate topic. Saturn and Mars are putting obstacles in the path of true love and happiness. All you can do under such conditions is keep calm and diplomatic, be understanding and resolve as many tensions as you can. On the work front April 2016 will start slowly and contracts and client relationships will be in the forefront of your mind. In the case of each issue use your charm be patient and maybe even cautious. Keep being very, VERY diplomatic and try to always look on the bright side of things! Mercury, will help with your vitality and morale this month. You may be exposed to stress or depression. Keeping things in proportion try to be calm. Get out and about when you can have some time to reflect and de-stress, take a step back and see the full picture.

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:11 pm Page 75

Cancer

Leo

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio

Sagittarius

Cancer, in April 2016, both Saturn and Mars are in your sign this leaves little wiggle room in your love life. You must accept things as they are, you can’t change them at the moment. Your love life is influenced by responsibilities. And what’s the fun in that? It seems that you’re relationships are tightly tied to work or career. Could it be an affair with a work-mate or boss? Perhaps. This is not necessarily going to be a happy one. At work the Sun and Venus in your sign will bring with them a significant change, but the price you pay is great. You’re in for weeks of hard work and various complications. A financial surprise could appear during the second week of April 2016, but other than that it’s smooth sailing. Set your priorities straight, and plan your schedule well! Health before anything else this month! Regardless of any other emergency.

Leo, you’re preoccupations are related to kids during April 2016. Whether you have them already or are thinking of having them this is what your home life is lead by this month. The topics may trigger frustration on the home front. If you are single this month April 2016 is, favourable from a particular point of view: you may find love abroad or at least at some geographical distance. On the work front the Sun and Venus will be the bearers of opportunities they encourage intellectual pursuits. Money is the focus of Leos during April 2016, more than ever. You can gain a lot through your profession, but be careful about speculations they could trigger bad luck. During April 2016 you should be in pretty good shape. But if you play sport you should be careful. Look after your health as a number one priority!

Virgo, because Jupiter is in your sign for the next few months: love and marriage remain hot topics this April 2016. You’re feeling emotional and have more love to offer. If you’re single or just starting a relationship you might not have chosen the best person, things could get complicated or confusing situations may work against you or even obstruct you. On the work front April 2016 brings Mercury is in your sign so you’re interests gravitate toward study or culture. You may have to travel for work or have longdistance collaborations or a lot of online activity. You should enjoy material benefits or extra earnings this month and it may not be of the question to invest or buy long-term items. Set your priorities, focus on what is essential, and don’t lose yourself in details! During the first two weeks of April 2016 you tend to worry about all kinds of things. You need to relax Libra, April 2016 is a significant month when it comes to your loved one or partner. The Sun and Venus are in your star sign until April 19th, making relationships the focus point of the month.

Between April 5th and 30th, Venus brings hope a great opportunity also maybe a new love. On the work front collaborations and contracts are of particular interest during April 2016, generating significant events and important decisions. A lot hinges on the way you communicate and manage to negotiate, in the end.

Everything you do in April 2016 has a single purpose: to earn more money. And earn it you will but with a little stress and effort. But all this mental activity has its downsides it is intense and demanding you are at risk of exhaustion. You should sleep as much as you can and give yourself a couple hours break - have massages, listen to relaxation music. And don’t leave your health unchecked.

Scorpio, there’s a lot to say about relationships in April 2016; and a lot of things to say in the relationships themselves. With Mercury in your sign at the moment communication is essential. Later in the month between April 28th and May 22ndMercury is in retrograde this will see a whole lot of commotion some topics will be turned on all sides, other old ones will be brought up again, even sensitive topics will be approached. Words have to be skillfully and carefully wielded because partners getting closer or more distant your life as a couple will hinge on them. Work is productive this month, but it’s important to know how to manage the money you earn. The Sun and Venus in your sign will give you more freedom of action and decision in your field of work. Be prudent when spending and don’t make financial decisions after April 17th!

Sagittarius, Mercury is in your sign throughout the month there may be some restrictions concerning the way you are feeling toward you’re home and love life. Responsibilities need to be shared you feel that certain demands take away from your freedom. If you are single or looking there is considerable potential this month maybe a new, passionate, no-strings-attached romance is on the cards. April 2016 is an active month for you career wise. Dynamic and ambitious Mars is in your sign also Mercury is getting in on the action brining with them initiative and innovation but on the other hand and discipline, and responsibility. Earnings during April 2016 are above average but you have to avoid waste, risk and speculation. This is a great time to better informed regarding your health and the issues you may have been sweeping under the carpet recently.

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:11 pm Page 76

Expatdatingspain.com is your ticket to romance! Looking to share sunny Spain with someone special? Holidaying in Spain and hoping to meet and maybe date fellow expat on your travels?

Sign up to

expatdatingspain.com and get 6 months full membership for free if you join before launch date.

We have been running expatdatingfrance.com successfully for years and have helped many happy couples meet, find love, romance, get engaged and married!

Now you can find us in Spain.

Our expertise in the art of online romance is here for you and for the first 6 months it is entirely free. Join up and join in!

See page 14 for our advert...

NOW IS THE TIME TO HAVE THE EXTERIOR OF YOUR PROPERTY PAINTED AND NOT REPEAT THE PROCESS UNTIL AT LEAST 2031.

Exterior painting and decorating can be a real chore, many properties on the Costa del Sol due to the unpredictable and severe weather that is experienced at the end of the summer and beginning of spring have to be redecorated every 2 to 3 years. Also, due to poor building techniques, many properties suffer from black mould on the interior due to penetrating damp.

Another annoying problem is the Sahara sand rain which gets deposited at least twice a year.

In this modern day and age when there are many long life exterior home improvements such as UPVC windows, doors, and shutters etc, which can last for 20 years or more, why can't the same technology be applied to exterior masonry coatings?

Many people are unaware that there is a company called Andura based in Bicester Oxfordshire for over 40 years, who are a BSI registered company and many of their products come with the much coveted British Board of Agrement Certificates.

No Need to Paint Costa del Sol are their exclusive agents. Their products are designed and proven to last in excess of 15 years to stop penetrating damp, still allow the walls to breathe and their coatings are fully washable and fade resistant so wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t chip, flake or peel!

In these difficult times it pays to protect your property and especially not to have the costly redecorating responsibility every few years.

If you would like to make exterior painting and maintenance a thing of the past, please feel free to contact us for an entirely free of obligation survey.

76

See our advert on page 7 for more details.

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:12 pm Page 77

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:12 pm Page 78

puzzle Link The Words

Solutions on page 88

it out

In each of these puzzles, three words are listed. All you have to do is find another word that can either precede or follow each word linking them:

1)

___

TRAFFIC

PAPER

TART

3)

____

RUBBER

HAIR

AID

2) 4) 5)

____ _____ _____

FINGER GAME

TIMES

HOB

MASONRY

ROOM

BILL

CLOTH

POOL

Guess The Celeb

A

B

Sudoku

78

Brain Teaser

BOBâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S CAKES...

Bob had a job working as an errand boy. One day he was given the task of collecting boxes of cakes for the Summer Fair. He collected boxes from various people in his local village and each box was labelled in Roman Numerals with the number of cakes in the box. By the time he had collected the last box, he was quite hungry, and really needed to eat at least one cake. Luckily the last box was marked with an XI, meaning there were 11 cakes in it. He had the brain wave of turning the box around and underlining the number to give the impression there were IX, that is 9 cakes. However, after eating the 2 cakes, he was still hungry.

How did the he change the number shown on the box again and eat even more cakes, without any one knowing?

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:12 pm Page 79

Crossword

Across: 5. Rascal (5) 6. Threefold (6) 7. Take out a loan (6) 9. Criticise unfairly (9) 11. Canteen for soldiers (4) 12. Inexperienced colour?

(5) 14. Client (4) 15. Attempt (3) 16. Improvised explosive device(abb) (3) 17. Volcanic output (4) 19. Tycoon (5) 21. Mountain goat (4) 23. Lesson plan (9) 26. Looking glass (6) 27. Slang for telephone (6) 28. Opponent (5) Down: 1. Long-necked ruminant (7) 2. Clean feathers (5) 3. Striped horse (5) 4. Nuisance, misfortune (7) 8. Fever (4) 9. Remote (7) 10. Learned, academic (7) 12. Room for a work-out (3) 13. Nothing, zero (3) 18. Uncle Sam (7) 20. Entrance to garden (4) 22. Infinite (7) 24. Robin Hood and his ---- Men (5) 25. Holy Book (5)

Name The Film

A This Tim Burton remake sees a young boy B win a tour through the most magnificent chocolate factory in the world, led by the world's most unusual candy maker (2005)

Staring Demi Moore this film sees a Millionaire offer $1,000,000 to a young married lovely couple for a night with the wife (1993).

Say What You See...

step

pets pets

DIAL

bopper

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:12 pm Page 80

The Jokespage

Jokespage

I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: “This is going to be interesting.”

Senility Test…

How fast can you guess these words?

1. F_ _ K 2. PU_S_ 3. S_X 4. P_N_S 5. BOO_S 6. _ _NDOM Answers: 1. FORK 2. PULSE 3. SIX 4. PANTS 5. BOOKS 6. RANDOM You got all six wrong?....Didn’t you?

Well, you aren’t going senile, but you are a pervert!

A sergeant and two men from his unit go into a bar. ‘Would you like a game of pool?” the sergeant asks the attractive barmaid. “No thanks darling,” she replies.“ I’d rather play with your privates.”

80

A man is watching a game of golf on the TV, but he keeps switching channels to a dirty movie featuring a lusty couple having raucous sex. ‘I don’t know whether to watch them or the game,’ he says to his wife. ‘For heavens sake, watch them,’ his wife says. ‘You already know how to play golf!’

What’s the best way to contact your long-lost relatives? Win the lottery…

Two men are in the office talking about the various gadgets they have on their desks. “So, do you use your Dictaphone much?” asks one. “No,” says the other.

“I usually use my finger.”

Two women called at my door and asked which bread I ate. When I said white they gave me a lecture on the benefits of brown bread for 30 minutes. I think they were Hovis Witnesses.

While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand-new tennis ball and, seeing nobody around, he slipped it into the pocket of his shirts. Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A girl standing next to him couldn’t help but notice the bulge.

‘What’s that?’ she asked, pointing at his shorts. “Tennis ball’ came the breathless reply. ‘Oh my gosh,’ said the girl sympathetically…. That must be very painful… I had tennis elbow once!’

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:14 pm Page 81

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:14 pm Page 82

KIDS PAGE nd the Can you fi in lost words ? space comet

y milky wa t e rock booster

astrona ut moon stars

N T M T H Q C L A Q

L F I O E U Z S K F

Z S L B U M T Q C W

Q E K T O R O S A Y

F J P J Y W R N O K O A R S C L L B Y X

E R A X T F S T A W

D U Y S Y U X Z E S

T R O C K E T O A R

N O O M O G X P F L

How do rve uts se o astr na n flying O r? dinne saucers

Where does Dr Who buy h is cheese ?At a dalek-atesse n!

Make a path from start to finish following the purple planets. Start either from the top of the bottom of the puzzle...

82

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:14 pm Page 83

E C A P S t s e p e e d n i finis AMAZING.... can you get from the start of the maze to the finish watch out for any aliens on board the rocket...

h

start What is a spacemanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s favouri chocolate? te A marsbar!

Give n ie the Al e Som r Colou

Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way

What didy to sa the alien en? the gard to Take me er! d your wee

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:14 pm Page 84

Advertising

Costa Link Magazine www.costalinkmagazine.com info@costalinkmagazine.com t: 951 254 222 or m: 663 061 669 Key Media Group - Page 15 www.keymediagroup.net info@keymediagroup.net t: 952 934 805 or m: 666 666 998

Air Conditioning

Costa del Solutions - Page 13 www.costadelsolutions.com t: 951 203 881 Esola Systems - Page 27 info@esola.es t: 952 550 323 or m: 616 119 007

Airport Car Parking

Best Parking Malaga - Page 29 www.bestparkingmalaga.com enquiries@bestparkingmalaga.com t: 952 105 266 or m: 616 660 310

Building Services

84

Andalucia Glass & Steal - Page 45 www.andaluciaglass.com info@andaluciaglass.com t: 951 279 278 Advasol Home Reforms - Page 22 www.advasolsolution.com info@advasolsolutions.com t: 951 965 309 or m: 664 871 133 Costa del Solutions - Page 13 www.costadelsolutions.com t: 951 203 881 Elite Glass Curtains - Page 67 www.eliteglasscurtains.com info@eliteglasscurtains.com t: 952 830 503 or m: 630 625 085 Fortress Security Spain - Page 33 www.fortresssecurityspain.com fortress@telefonica.net t: 952 931 128

Business

Mould Problems - Page 38 www.mouldproblems.com m: 662 143 035 No Need to Paint - Page 7 www.noneedtopaint.com info@noneedtopaint.com t: 952 594 425 m: 640 519 482 Provent Windows - Page 60 t: 951 933 330 m: 722 444 100 www.proventwindows.com Q Construction - Page 17 m: 667 734 234 Quartet Kitchens & Bathrooms - Page 17 www.quartethome.com info@quartethome.com t: 952 933 191 m: 672 072 658 White Design - Pages 18 & 19 www.whitedesignco.com info@whitedesignco.com t: 952 494 155 or m: 600 583 673

Bed & Breakfast

The Olive Branch - Page 53 www.olivebranchelchorro.co.uk m: 686 669 359

Business Sales

Mind Your Own Business - Pages 34 to 37 www.business-sales-spain.com info@business-sales-spain.com t: 951 254 222 or m: 663 061 669

Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Charity

Childline Andalucia - Page 77 hello@childlineandalucia.org t: 602 447 017

Computer Services

Costasys - Pages 40 & 41 www.costasys.com | info@costasys.com t: 952 939 592

Dating On-line

Expat Dating Spain - Page 14 www.expatdatingspain.com

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:14 pm Page 85

Garden Centres

Garden Centre Linda Vista - Page 66 www.gardecentrelindavista.com t: 952 785 206 La Vega - Page 28 www.viveroslavega.com administracion@viveroslavega.com t: 952 581 247

Glass Curtains

Andalucia Glass & Steal - Page 45 www.andaluciaglass.com info@andaluciaglass.com t: 951 279 278 Elite Glass Curtains - Page 67 www.eliteglasscurtains.com info@eliteglasscurtains.com t: 952 830 503 or m: 630 625 085 Provent Windows - Page 60 t: 951 933 330 m: 722 444 100 www.proventwindows.com

Furniture Suppliers

The Bedding Warehouse - Page 39 www.bedwarehousespain.com bedwarehousespain@hotmail.com t: 952 582 872 m: 634 187 700 or 600 633 986 White Design - Pages 18 & 19 www.whitedesignco.com info@whitedesignco.com t: 952 494 155 or m: 600 583 673

Health and Wellbeing

Alhaurin Dental Centre - Page 59 www.alhaurindentalcentre.com dentistalhaurin@gmail.com m: 654 996 026 39 Sanitas Healthplan - Page 57 www.healthplanspain.com info@healthplanspain.com t: 951 255 737

Insurance Services

Business

Sanitas Healthplan - Page 57 www.healthplanspain.com info@healthplanspain.com t: 951 255 737

Interior Design Services

White Design - Pages 18 & 19 www.whitedesignco.com info@whitedesignco.com t: 952 494 155 or m: 600 583 673

Locksmiths

Pharaoh Locksmiths, Mijas Costa pharaoh1@terra.com t: 617 921 824

Marble Floor Polishing

Marble Floor Care - Page 73 www.marblefloor.info m: 654 589 218

Mechanics

No1 Cars Marbella - Page 2 www.no1carsmarbella.com t: 952 926 544/ 952 898 603 m: 675 530 409

Metal Works

Fortress Security Spain - Page 33 www.fortresssecurityspain.com t: 952 931 128 Iron Works - Page 3 www.ironworksinspain.com ironworksinspain@yahoo.co.uk m: 678 691 393

Pet Care

Cat and Dog World - Page 54 www.cat-and-dog-world.com info@cat-and-dog-world.com t: 952 112 978 or m: 630 197 435 FAMA - Page 54 www.famaspain.com t: 620 354 885

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:14 pm Page 86

Plumbers

Radio Station

Printing & Print Services

Removal Companies

Drain and Leak Solutions - Page 26 www.drainandleak.com t: 951 310 111 or m: 651 111 005 Eyeprint - Page 92 www.eyeprint.es t: 952 906 121 Nueva Andalucia t: 951 310 395 Cabopino Please Quote CostaLink ndi3 Printing - Page 65 www.ndi3printing.com sales@ndi3printing.com

Property Sales, Rental & Management

ACP - Page 51 www.acpproperty.com info@acpproperty.com t: 952 934 527 Claxton Homes - Page 55 www.claxtonhomes.com info@claxtonhomes.com m: 656 476 887 Costa del Home - Page 46 & 47 www.costadelhome.com Costa Rents - Pages 20 & 21 www.costarents.com | info@costarents.com t: 671 093 925 Hilltop Property Services S.L. - Page 33 info@hilltopprops.net t: 951 978 046 m: 600 795 113 Mind Your Own Business - Pages 34 to 37 www.business-sales-spain.com info@business-sales-spain.com t: 951 254 222 or m: 663 061 669 REAS Accredited Agency - Pages 90 & 91 www.reas.es Sun Homes Continential - Page 53 www.sunhomespain.es info@sunhomespain.es t: 952 660 465 m: 666 655 257

86

Business

The Beat - Page 69 www.thebeatspain.fm t: 952 468 404 m: 640 678 011

The Removal People- Page 63 karl.theremovalpeople@gmail.com t: 633 855 516

Restaurants & Bars

Barboru Restaurant - Page 25 t: 952 933 158 www.barboru.com Harryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Sports Bar - Page 64 India Lucia, Torrenueva - Page 73 t: 951 407 695 www.indialucia.hpage.com Indian Ocean, Playa Marina - Page 60 t: 952 667 322 or m: 635 055 686 www.indialnocean1.hpage.com Sai Indian Restaurant - Page 44 wwwsairestaurant.es t: 951 254 401 m: 600 098 369 The Terrace - Page 43 terracecalahonda.gmail.com m: 627 192 545

Satellite Television

Costasys IPTV Packages - Page 40 & 41 www.costasys.com/iptv.htm info@costasys.com t: 952 939 592 Focus Home Entertainment - Page 12 m: 664 354 545 GBTV - Page 69 m: 603 258 751 Oakley Automated Living - Page 42 hello@oakleyal.com www.oakleyal.com m: 671 788 241

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:14 pm Page 87

Business

Satellite Television Continued

Telephone and Internet Services

Orbit - Page 33 info@orbitsl.com www.orbitsl.com t: 952 802 457 m: 654 758 415 The Sky Doctor - Page 49 www.theskydoctor.com info@theskydoctor.com t: 952 763 840 or m: 635 400 099 TV-One - Pages 81 www.tvonespain.com info@tvonespain.com t: 951 310 437

Shops

Costasys IPTV Packages - Page 40 & 41 www.costasys.com/iptv.htm info@costasys.com t: 952 939 592 Orbit - Page 33 info@orbitsl.com t: 952 802 457 or m:654 758 415

Vending Machines

Superpool - Page 48 www.superpoolspain.com paul@superpoolspain.com m: 629 530 233

Boutique Nicole - Pages 10 & 11 t: 952 927 245 Curtain & Bedding Shop - Page 23 www.curtainandbeddingshop.com thecurtainandbeddingshop@hotmail.com t: 952 897 477 The Frock Exchange - Page 9 t: 689 119 520

Web Design

Sign D Sign - Page 16 www.signdsign1.com info@signdsign1.com m: 603 464 582

Window Cleaning Service

Signs

Swimming Pool Services

Key Media Group - Page 15 www.keymediagroup.net info@keymediagroup.net t: 952 934 805 or m: 666 666 998 Spanglish Webs - Page 68 www.spanglishwebs.com info@spanglishwebs.com m: 691 660 187

Steve Reynolds - Page 73 stevereynolds2009@hotmail.com t: 677 711 324

Advasol - Page 22 www.advasolsolution.com info@advasolsolutions.com t: 951 965 309 or m: 664 871 133

Wine On-Line

Wines 4 Fun - Page 7 www.wines4fun.com t: 952 230 888

Advertise your business in our new on-line business directory for only 95â&#x201A;Ź a year! info@costalinkmagazine.com t: 951 254 222 or m: 663 061 669

www.costalinkmagazine.com

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:14 pm Page 88

puzzle Trivia Quiz Answers

1) Shrove Tuesday 2) 32 3) Copper and Tin 4) Karaoke 5) Red 6) California 7) Nitrous Oxide 8) Respondez sâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;il vous plait 9) 21 10) Within the sound of the Bow Bells 11) Full House 12) November 30th 13) Federal Bureau of Investigation 14) Left 15) Romania 16) The Star Spangled Banner 17) Russian roulette 18) White & Red 19) S.O.S. 20) Modified 21) Volkswagen 22) Bermuda Traingle 23) Tooth Enamel 24) Rear 25) The Canary Islands 26) North Atlantic Treaty Organization 27) Blimp/Hot Air Balloon/Airship 28) Florida 29) A Thousand 30) Mount Rushmore

Answers from 26, 78 & 79

it out

Link The Words 1) Jam 2) Nail

3) Band

4) Board 5) Table

Guess The Celeb a) Ewan Mcgregor

b) Barbara Windsor

Brain Teaser Solution: He could add an S to the IX to give the impression there were supposed to be 6 cakes in the box, thus eating 5 cakes in total.

Crossword Solution

Sudoku Solution

Name The Film

a) Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) b) Indecent Proposal (1993)

Say What You See

1) One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

88

2) Laid Back

3) Teeny Bopper

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:14 pm Page 89

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:14 pm Page 90

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:15 pm Page 91

April 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/03/16 4:15 pm Page 92