August 2015 Costa Link Magazine

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Welcome to another scorching edition of the Costa Link Magazine. Well the holiday season is in full on mode here, have you seen the amount of sunburnt people about? A permanent vest seems to be the look may men are sporting for this this year….!

If you fancy a fiesta the annual Málaga feria is this month from the 15th to 22nd, a weeklong street party with plenty of flamenco and 'fino' (sherry). One of Andulucia’s best where during the days the city centre is transformed with people dressed in typical costume and plenty of food and drink is available. In the evenings there are nights dedicated to flamenco dance and music, the port is lit up by a firework display and of course there is the huge fair to enjoy.

If you are just soooooooo hot you can’t be bothered to do anything - grab your copy of the Costa Link, have a chillax moment, make yourself a cheeky cocktail, then put your feet up, relax and enjoy!

in the August Magazine

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A Man’s World: Some bad advice for lift etiquette plus a couple of other corkers…

50

Medical Section... The A-Z of medical healthcare on the Costa del Sol. If you need any advise on any medical matter look here...

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All revved up - check out some some dream cars that you didn’t even know you dreamt about!!!

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66

What’s On Guide.... Lots going on up and down the Costa del Sol this month get involved check out page 66.

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The Kids Page: Pets galore this month, puzzles, word searches and lots more…

80

Business Directory... Can’t find that all-important contact information see page 80.

Solutions on page 84 Puzzle It Out... Puzzles galore challenge those little grey cells.

Like Us

26

Solutions on page 84 Pit your brains against the TRIVIA QUIZ, questions for all ages from 6 -116!

76

The Jokes Page: Laugh out loud or get some giggles on page 76!!!

Facebook

10

A Women’s World! Lots of funny stuff just for us girlies on page 10.

Call: 952 935 200 or 663 061 669 Email: sales@costalinkmagazine.com

Website: www.costalinkmagazine.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/costa.link.spain Whatapp: 663 061 669 8

Tweet: @costa_link

No part of this publication, including layout, graphic design or pictures may be copied, SCANNED, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. Costa Link Magazine accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors. All rights reserved © 2015.

to advertise in costa link magazine please call 952 935 200 or 663 061 669

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MEN.....!

A Woman’s World

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.

'What was that for?' the man asked. The wife replied, ‘That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your trousers pocket'. The man then said 'When I was at the races last week, Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on.' The wife apologised and went on with the housework. Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again. Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned'.

NEW PASSWORD...

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error.

Not long enough."

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A WOMEN’S PERFECT BREAKFAST...

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.

Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.

Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

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Stocking only the very best in ladies fashion including leading quality designer labels Sizes from 10 to 20

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HOT TV GOSS!

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LIFE ON MARBS: Is ITVBe's brand new show the new TOWIE? The Life on Marbs stars might have told us that they didn't want to be compared to TOWIE, but there's no way they're going to get away with that. Marbella, bitching and glamour it's TOWIE in the sun, isn't it? The show kicked off last month by introducing us to the 'Marbie Barbie' Natalie Richardson and a whole raft of other beautiful people enjoying the sun and a bit of backstabbing. But the big question is whether it can be as good as TOWIE. The Essex lot have won us over, but will their Marbella counterparts be able to match that? Will Life on Marbs become the biggest show on TV, or will no-one ever hear of it again? Let us know what you think.... editor@costalinkmagazine.com.

I AM CAIT'S: An emotional time....From Kylie meeting Caitlyn via Facetime to Kanye's words of wisdom. It’s been a journey for Bruce aka Caitlyn Jenner now the upcoming E! Eight-part series - which follows Caitlyn during her gender transition is very similar in format and style to Keeping Up with the Kardashians. The drama is strung out, adverts immediately follow bombshells as they're dropped, and cliffhangers are created from previews of the following episode. Kanye West makes a surprise appearance and amuses Jenner's family with his untied trainers while wife Kim Kardashian offers fashion advice, and daughter Kylie Jenner meets Caitlyn for the first time in a very modern way. I Am Cait premieres on August 2nd in the UK and July 26th in the US. READY, SET, BAKE... Great British Bake off back! Get out your rolling pins and muffin pans, The Great British Bake Off will be back. The sixth series of the baking competition will launch on Wednesday, August 5th at 8pm on BBC One. Mel Giedroyc and Sue Perkins will return once again as hosts, while Paul Hollywood and Mary Berry will be judging the cakes, pies, biscuits and the rest - mmmm cake!

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HOT GOSS!

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SPECTRE SPOILERS! Look away now if you are an avid fan... The Spectre trailer was released last month and seems to embrace Bond movies past: Who's lurking in the shadows? A helicopter doing a midair cork-screw, a tip of the hat to the On Her Majesty's Secret Service theme... and was that Blofeld? The latest trailer for Spectre is something of a corker and promises to be an homage-packed action-fest aiming to top Skyfall. It's all in the title. Crime syndicate SPECTRE (Special Executive for Counter-Intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion), headed up by Ernst Stavro Blofeld, regularly attempted world domination in Sean Connery's '60s outings, but they've been absent for decades due to an ongoing legal dispute with Thunderball co-creator Kevin McClory. Fast cars an Aston Martin DB10 and faster women we can’t wait!

X FACTOR COUPLE ANNOUNCE ENGAGEMENT! Where is Cilla? An X Factor Wedding looks set to happen after a couple who found love on the show have got engaged. Chloe-Jasmine Whichello and Stevi Ritchie met when they were contestants on the ITV talent show last year. The blonde singer said she had "no idea" Ritchie was going to propose and said when he got down on one knee she did not understand at first.

We are wonding if Simon is out shippoing for that all importtant hat yet!?!

TOWIE THE TEARS... Danielle Armstrong is currently the most emotional girl in Essex, as she's been named the biggest sobber in this series of TOWIE. Danni's emotional state is understandable, given that she broke up with her nearly-fiancé Lockie in Marbella at the beginning of the series. Former cast member Lucy Mecklenburgh was seen crying 26 times, while Jess Wright has cried 29 times during her TOWIE tenure. This series, there were 19 separate incidents of crying, with Lauren Pope and Chloe Lewis both breaking down twice. We are wondering why there isn’t more flooding in Essex….

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Oh Dear poor dave...

A lady decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday.

They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.

"Oh, no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"

"She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."

A stripper then comes over to the table. She throws her arms around Dave and says, "Hi, Davey. Want your usual lap dance, big boy?"

Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.

She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.

The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real b*tch tonight, Dave.�

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671 093 925

Your long term property rental specialists Website: www.costarents.com Email: info@costarents.com

FOR SALE: Calahonda €115,000

Recently refurbished Lounge and Dining room! An ideally located, 2nd floor apartment, situated in lower Calahonda, close to all amenities. Perfect for those who don’t have a car! And if you do have a car, there's off street gated parking! The nearest beach is only 300 meters away. This 96m² apartment is comprised of 2 double bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 1 full bathroom, a spacious lounge/diner, good size kitchen and outside utility room.

FOR SALE: Mijas Costa, Club La Costa €127,950

A 2 bed 1 bath townhouse in the resort of Club La Costa.The property could be sold unfurnished or furnished and comes with parking,buying this property means you can use all the bars and resturants in the community.Properties in this delevopment are extremely rare,the property has been well maintained and You can walk to the beach in 10 minutes and Fuengirola in 15 minutes.

FOR SALE: La Cala De Mijas, 2 Bed Apartment €195,000

This Fantastic 2 bed apartment is situated just a few minutes drive from the popular La Cala De Mijas. This Penthouse apartment is offered unfurnished, it has 2 terraces on the living level and a full size roof terrace with Jacuzzi and barbeque . The apartment is very modern . There is underground parking and a good size store

@costarents For all the latest listings!

Search Costa Rents For all the latest news and listings!

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671 093 925

Your long term property rental specialists Website: www.costarents.com Email: info@costarents.com

FOR SALE ,Calahonda â‚Ź119,995

Excellent one bed penthouse close to shops and beach with amazing views! This property is located towards the west of Calahonda. The property inside has modern kitchen,lounge,two bedrooms and bathroom,outside the property a large terrace directly off lounge with sea views.The property also has a large roof terrace with amazing sea views,because this is an end apartment you also have views of Cabopino golf course. This property would make the perfect holiday apartment as its close to transport,beach and shops.

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FORGIVE Me Father...

A married man goes to confessional and tells the priest, "I had an affair with a woman - almost.

"The priest says, "What do you mean, 'almost'?"

The man says, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."

The priest replies, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to go near that woman again. Now, say five Hail Mary's and put â‚Ź50 in the box for people in need."

The man leaves confessional, goes over and says his prayers, then walks over to the box for people in need. He pauses for a moment and then starts to leave.

The priest, who was watching him, quickly runs over to him and says, "I saw that. You didn't put any money in the box for people in need!"

The man replied, "Well, Father, I rubbed up against it and you said it was the same as putting it in!"

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Theatre SeatS For Seniors...

An old man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the theatre.

When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man, "Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The old man didn't budge.

The usher became more impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."

Once again, the old man just muttered and did nothing.

The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager.

Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the old dishevelled man, but with no success.

Finally they summoned the police.

The officer surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right mate what's your name?"

"Fred," the old man moaned. "Where you from, Fred?" asked the police officer.

With a terrible strain in his voice, and without moving, Fred replied; "The balcony".............

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TRIVIA QUIZ

1) Name Alexander Armstrong's seated assistant on the gameshow Pointless?

2) What nationality is Mark Carney, The Governor of the Bank of England?

3) Which company was founded in Birmingham in 1892 by Frederick Rushbrooke?

4) Who won the Wimbledon men’s 2015 title?

5) In English, what do the initials of the car manufacturer BMW stand for?

6) Andy Millman is the main character in which British sitcom?

7) What is Harry Ramsden's famous for?

8) Who won the Wimbledon women’s 2015 title?

9) Name the largest town in the Highlands of Scotland?

10) Which weekly magazine of humour and satire was

established in 1841 and ceased publication in 2002?

11) Name Ruth Langsford's husband?

12) Which award has the words ‘FOR VALOUR’ on it?

13) Which Peter got married last month to Emily MacDonagh?

14) Coulrophobia is the fear of what type of entertainers?

15) What was invented for dog training by Francis Galton in 1876?

16) What word is the exact opposite of nocturnal?

17)As of 2015, what is the minimum age you have to be to open a Facebook account?

18)According to a 2012 BBC report, McDonald's was the world's second largest private employer, which company was first?

19) Name the metabolic process

that converts sugar to acids or alcohol?

20) Severe flooding allowed hundreds of wild animals to escape from a zoo in which country in June 2015?

21) Who was the husband of actress Valeria Hobson?

22) Which London bridge crossing the River Thames is located between Blackfriars Bridge and Hungerford Bridge?

23) Which supermarket chain would you associate with George clothing?

24) How many squares are there on a chess board?

25) Where would you find the Sea of Tranquility?

26) On what everyday item would you find 'Decus Et Tutamen' inscribed?

DRAIN & LEAK

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IN THE INTEREST OF PUBLIC SAFETY

BarBoru

Restaurant & Bar “The Home Of The Prancing Leprauchan....

An Over Zealous Owner...

And An Unemployable Waiter!!”

But Don't take our word ffor or iitt...

See their reviews on T Trip rip Advisor!!

Top Floor El Zoco, Calahonda Telephone 952 933 158

www.barboru.com

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your y our MIND D ownnB

B U S I N

FREEH HOLD INVESTM MENTS LARGE CORTIJO: Seville

995,000€

FR REEHOLD WAREHOUSE WAREHOUSE 995,000€

Set in idyllic grounds & provides a good income all year round it occupies 595 m2 (6500 square feet). There is also a beautiful ul garden great for celebrations.

RESTAUR ANT: Marbella

260,000€

Close to Puerto Banus. Highly viable from the A7/N340 with 780m2 inside plus a further 350m2 outtside. Easy free Parking - this is a very rare opportunityy.

VACANT RESTAUR ANT

Freehold restaurant is located on the outskirts of Marbella. Could also be used for a variety of businesses.

Highly visible position on the main A7/N340 with easy parking outside.

FREEHOLD D RESTAURANT

435,000€

Above Elviria. Ruunning successfully for 10 years is at present with a tenant on a contract for the next 4 years. Currently being sold as an investment.

FREEHOLD LOC CAL

95,000€ This freehold premises close to El Chaparral beach, 18 hole ggolf course and the race course, is extremely versatile and would be ideal for a huge variety of uses.

W

2 250,000€

A large freehold restaurant in Mijas and off o fers 248 m2.

It has been subject to a complete refform orm in the last few years andd complies with all current regulations & modern licenses. ses.

DRY CLEANERS

125,0 000€+IV VA This Freeholdd Laundry/Dry Cleaners is too be sold with a long standin ng tenant (12 years) in occcupation on a one year leasee.

FR REEHOLD BAR: Estepona 695,000€ 6 Large Bar/Reestaurant now vacant andd ready to re-open. p Very busy venue and could be aagain. Terrace areas outside. Also benefits from easy parking. rking.

www.business-sa ales-spain.com Telephone: 95 52 935 200 Mobile: 663 061 669 inffo@business-sales-spain.com o@business-salles-spain.com

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BU USINESSS I N E S S

B R O K E R A G E

WE NEED YOUR BUSINESS We ha av ve buyerss waiting

For a prof profe fessional essiional io service that h cares ab about b selling ll your bussiiness please contact us

WE URGE ENTL LY Y NEED D MORE BUSIN NESSES FOR S SALE To receive uppdates on all new instructioons go to: www.ffacebook.c acebook.com/business.sales.spain com/business.sales.spain and an nd press like.

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Celebrating Fertilization...

A chicken farmer went to a local bar and sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne.

The woman perks up and says, “How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!”

“What a coincidence,” the farmer says, “This is a special day for me, I'm celebrating.”

“This is a special day for me too, I'm also celebrating!” says the woman.

“What a coincidence,” says the man.

As they clinked glasses the farmer asked, “What are you celebrating?”

“My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynaecologist told me that I'm pregnant!”

“What a coincidence,” says the man.

“I'm a chicken farmer, and for years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally laying fertilized eggs.”

“That's great!” says the woman, “How did your chickens become fertile?”

“I used a different cock,” he replied.

The woman smiled and said...

“What a coincidence...”

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Three Italian nuns die...

Three Itailan Nuns die and go to Heaven.

At the Pearly Gates, they are met by God himself. He says, 'Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that i will be granting you six months to go back to earth to live the life of anyone you wish to be’.

The first nun says, 'I want to be Sophia Loren she's a lovely lady and a great Italian woman and role model;' And *poof* she's gone.

The second says, 'I want to be Madonna, although sometimes controversial she's a great entertainer.’ *Poof* she's gone.

The third says, 'I want to be Sarah Pipalini..'

God looks confused. 'Who?' he asks?

'Sarah Pipalini,' replies the nun.

God shakes his head and says, 'I'm sorry, but that name doesn't ring a bell.'

The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to God. God reads the paper and starts laughing.

He hands it back to her and says, ‘No sister, the paper says it was the 'Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months’

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Don’t i know you from somewhere?!?!?

A man was standing next in line at a checkout, when the attractive blonde woman in front of him turned around and gave him a big smile. “Hello,” she said, as she waited for her change. “Er, I'm sorry. Do I know you?” The man said in some confusion. “Oh, my mistake. I thought you were the father of one of my children,” she said apologetically, and picking up her shopping, she left the store. The man was astonished. He thought how amazing that a good looking woman like that should have forgotten who fathered her children. Then he began to worry. He had had an encounter in his youth that could have resulted in a child he didn’t know about. She had been blonde, pretty, and about the same height. On leaving the store, he saw the woman getting into her car. He ran over to her and said, “Look, you couldn’t have been the girl I met that night at a party in Hampstead, in 1980 could you? We sh***ed on the billiards table in front of everyone, things got really wild and I got so drunk that I didn't get your number." The woman looked utterly outraged and said, “No! I’m your son’s English teacher.”

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With the Edinburgh fringe festival 2015 taking place this month we thought we would look back at some funnies made by REALLY famous comedians…

• "I don't want any publicity – you get too many begging letters. If they're anything like the ones I send out I don't want to know!" Tony Hancock.

• Oliver Hardy: 'Didn't you once tell me that you had an uncle?'

Stan Laurel: 'Sure, I've got an uncle. Why?' Oliver: 'Now we're getting somewhere. Is he living?'

Stanley: 'No. He fell through a trap door and broke his neck.'

Oliver: 'Was he building a house?'

Stanley: 'No, they were hanging him.'

From The Laurel-Hardy Murder Case (1930). Stan Laurel & Oliver Hardy.

• 'My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we don't know where the hell she is.' Ellen DeGeneres.

• “Posh hotels have a turn-down service. I had never heard of this and there was a knock at the door and a woman said, ‘I’ve come to turn down your bed.’ To which I said, ‘Well many women have in the past. Why should you be any different?’” Michael McIntyre. “'I was not a particularly small child. I was the one who always got picked to play Bethlehem in the school nativity.' Jo Brand.

Incorpor orating

Like us on o facebook!

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A Man’s World

BRUTALLY ATTACKED...

Please be advised I am in hospital.

I was badly attacked by a woman in an elevator.

I was in the lift when she got in.

I was casually staring at her boobs when she said, "Would you please press "1"?

So I did... and I don't remember much afterwards, but I guess I pressed the wrong one!

TIL DEATH US DO PART...

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?" "What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. ”I think you're bad luck."

FANCY A NIGHT AT THE DISCO PET?

A husband takes his wife to a disco. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it large – break dancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."

Husband says: "Looks like he’s still celebrating!!"

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• ‘I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.' Spike Milligan.

• A few decades ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please don't let Kevin Bacon die.' Bill Murray

• 'Two cannibals were eating a clown – one said to the other, 'Does he taste funny to you?' Tommy Cooper.

• The wife’s mother said: ‘When you’re dead, I’ll dance on your grave.’

I said: ‘Good. I’m being buried at sea.’ Les Dawson

• 'A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.' Joan Rivers.

• 'God gave men a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.' Robin Williams

• 'How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?' Steven Wright

• 'Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.' Bill Bailey

• ‘My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners!' Sarah Silverman

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August 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/07/15 5:24 pm Page 48

• 'My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.' Dave Barry.

• 'When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did – in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his bus----.' Bob Monkhouse.

• 'The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.' Roseanne Barr .

• 'She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.' Bob Hope.

• 'You know, it's a sad day when your child looks at you and asks: "Daddy, is this organic?" "Organic? I grew up on Angel Delight! We didn't have anything in the house if it wasn't neon!" Dylan Moran.

• 'I went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time. So I ordered 'French Toast during the Renaissance'. Peter Kay.

• 'A man walks into a chemist’s and says, "Can I have a bar of soap, please?" The chemist says, "Do you want it scented?" And the man says, "No, I’ll take it with me now".' Ronnie Barker.

• 'I always take my wife morning tea in my pajamas, but is she grateful? . . .

No, she says she'd rather have it in a cup.' Eric Morecambe.

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Medical Tips

Vithas Xanit International Hospital

Are you looking for an International hospital in southern Spain, with both an excellent reputation as well as access to some of the best doctors in the country. Well if this is the case then please read on... Vithas Xanit International Hospital is situated in Benalmadena and is a center of reference on the Costa del Sol. The Hospital belongs to the Vithas Healthcare Group and was accredited by ´The International Joint Commission´in July 2014 for it’s high standards of safety and quality care.

Vithas Xanit has become the ninth hospital in Spain and the first private center in Andalucia to receive this accreditation from an organisation which is recognised on a worldwide scale.

The hospital itself has a team made up of more than 680 professionals, 250 of whom are medical experts, recognised on a national and international scale. The hospital offers a team that are multi-lingual, whilst providing there clients with the highest quality healthcare service to patients using the latest diagnostic and therapeutic techniques. A large percentage of the team speak excellent English, which is always critical when dealing with medical matters.

Furthermore, Vithas Xanit International Hospital has an International Services Department which is available 24 hours a day, to deal with its International clients. This department offers a personalised service to foreign patients in 16 languages, including English. This team provides a valuable service to clients by detailing appointment information, specialist details and pricing information, as required.

Furthermore, the hospital provides more than 40 medical specialities as well as an extensive and complex directory of services using the most up-to-date technology.

The hospital is renowned for The throughout Malaga province, to support the main hospital Xanit Oncological Institute (IOX) and located in Benalmadena: for the Cardiology Unit.

1. Xanit Fuengirola, is a center offering medical specialities.

• The Xanit Oncological Institute incorpo- 2. Xanit Salud is based on the first floor of the El Corte Inglés rates all of the different aspects which are related department store on Avenida de Andalucía in Málaga. The cento the diagnosis and treatment of cancer. Their successful ter focuses on healthcare as an integral concept and offers permodel is a replica of the best international Oncological sonalised services to promote harmony and wellbeing.

Hospitals and incorporates specific units for different types of 3. Vithas Xanit Limonar also offers medical specialities in the cancers. center of Malaga and provides patients with the most up-todate techniques and protocols in Radiotherapy and Medical • The Cardiology Unit is equipped to treat patients with any Oncology, as well as an out-patients department, thus bringing type of cardiovascular illness using the most advanced techthe medical team from Vithas Xanit International Hospital nology. Dr. Hans-Joachim Schäefers, an internationally recogcloser to Málaga. nised Cardiologist has recently joined the Cardiac Surgery Vithas Xanit is a Preferred Partner of “medilink” offering a full team at the hospital. At Vithas Xanit International there belief range of services that you would expect from a private hospiis that quality is a form of thinking and acting, which is linked tal. For more information on Vithas Xanit or any of our other to ethical care and good healthcare results. Their work is based Preferred Partners please call “medilink” on: 952 93 38 76. upon a quality control programme, with protocols and standards in place. In addition to this, Vithas Xanit is the first private ….or if you would like to source additional information on hospital in Andalucia to obtain an accreditation from The Vithas Xanit, its team, its services, etc then please reference Commitee for Ethical Healthcare on behalf of the Ministry of there website (which is available in English): www.xanit.es/en Health for the Andalucian Government.

Vithas Xanit International Hospital has various centers

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Clinica Medicare is a Preferred Partner of “medilink” Your British Health centre here on the Costa del Sol. For more information on Clinica Medicare or any of our other Preferred Partners call “medilink” on 952 93 38 76.

August 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/07/15 5:37 pm Page 51

August 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/07/15 5:40 pm Page 52

Medi$BSF F JT DPNNJUUFE UP QSP PWJEJOH RVBMJUZ JO FWFSZZ BTQFDU PG DBSF BOE TVQQPSUU JO UJNFT PG OFFE BWBJMBCMF JO UIF DPNGPSUU BOE TBGFUZ PG ZPVS PXO IPNF

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t " GVMMZ MFHBM SFHVMBUFE $PNQBOZ t " UFBN PG GVMMZ SFHVMBUFE 6, USBJOFE /VSTFT $BSFST t A FREE )PNF #BTFE )FBMUI "TTFTTNFOU t " DPNQMFUF DBSF TFSWJDF

5IF UFBN BU Medi$BSF VOEFSTUBOE UIF " GVMM SBOHF PG TFSWWJDFT DPWFSJOH OFFE UP TFF BMM PG PVS DMJFOUT BT JOEJWJEVBMT BOE UBJMPS FWFSZ DBSF QBDLBHF UP NFFU ZPVS t 1PTU PQFSBUJWF DBSF SFIBCJMJUBUJPO t 4USP PLF 3FIBCJMJUBUJPO TQFDJmD OFFET t 1BMMJBUJWF $BSF t 0SUUIPQBFEJD 3FIBCJMJUBUJPO Established on the Costa del Sol since 2001 t 3FTQJUF $BSF Telephone: 952 835 776 t %JTUSJDU /VSTJOH 4FSWJDFT 24 Hour Helpline: 667 733 520 t (FOFSBM $BSF F 4VQQPSU -JWF *O $BSF t &TDPSUUFE 3FQBUSJBUJPO )PNF www.medicarenursingser g vices.com Quality in every aspect of care as well as support in times of need! info@medicarenursingservices.com

August 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/07/15 5:42 pm Page 53

August 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/07/15 5:43 pm Page 54

Medical Mayhem

Going into labour....

A man speaks frantically into the phone.....

"My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.

"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches... When the doctor does his history and physi-

cal, he discovers that the poor guy has tried practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement. "Listen," says the doc, "I have migraines, too and the advice I'm going to give you isn't really anything I learned in medical school, but it's advice that I've gotten from my own experience. When I have a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while. Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand, especially around the forehead. This helps a little. Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me, I force myself to have sex with her. Almost always, the headache is immediately gone. Now, give it a try, and come back and see me in six weeks." Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin. "Doc! I took our advice and it works! It REALLY WORKS! I've had migraines for 17 years and this is the FIRST time anyone has ever helped me!"

"Well," says the physician, "I'm glad I could help." "By the way, Doc," the patient adds, "I have to say you have a REALLY nice houseâ&#x20AC;?.

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August 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/07/15 5:47 pm Page 55

Health & Well Being

August 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/07/15 5:49 pm Page 56

EXTREME HEAT: Be Prepared...

Most of us welcome hot weather, but when it's too

hot for too long there are health risks. As it has been extremely hot this summer, make sure the hot weather doesn't harm you or anyone you know. The very young, the elderly and the seriously ill are the groups who are particularly at risk of health problems when the weather is very hot. In particular, very hot weather can make heart and breathing problems worse.

WHEN HEAT BECOMES A PROBLEM

With the average temperature of 35°C by day and 25°C overnight it’s not surprising we all feel hot and bothered.

These temperatures can have a significant effect on people's health.

WHY IS A TOO MUCH HEAT A PROBLEM?

The main risks posed by a heatwave are: • Dehydration (not having enough water).

• Overheating, which can make symptoms worse for people who have problems with their heart or breathing.

• Heat exhaustion.

• Heatstroke.

WHO IS MOST AT RISK?

Heat can affect anyone, but the most vulnerable people in extreme heat are: • Older people, especially those over 75.

• Babies and young children.

• People with a serious chronic condition, especially heart or breathing problems.

• People with mobility problems – for example, people with Parkinson's disease or who have had a stroke.

• People with serious mental health problems.

• People on certain medications, including those that affect sweating and temperature control.

• People who misuse alcohol or drugs.

• People who are physically active – for example, labourers or those doing sports.

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TIPS FOR COPING IN HOT WEATHER

The following advice applies to everybody when it comes to keeping cool and comfortable and reducing health risks: •Shut windows and pull down the shades when it is hotter outside. If it's safe, open them for ventilation when it is cooler.

•Avoid the heat: stay out of the sun and don't go out during the hottest part of the day.

•Keep rooms cool by using shades or reflective material outside the windows.)

•Have cool baths or showers, and splash yourself with cool water.

•Drink cold drinks regularly, such as water and fruit juice.

Avoid tea, coffee and alcohol.

•Plan ahead to make sure you have enough supplies, such as food, water and any medications you need.

•Identify the coolest room in the house so you know where to go to keep cool.

•Wear loose, cool clothing, and a hat if you go outdoors.

•Check up on friends, relatives and neighbours who may be less able to look after themselves.

HOW DO I KNOW IF SOMEONE NEEDS HELP?

If someone feels unwell, get him or her somewhere cool to rest. Give them plenty of fluids to drink.

Seek medical help if symptoms such as breathlessness, chest pain, confusion, weakness, dizziness or cramps get worse or don't go away.

August 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/07/15 7:19 pm Page 57

August 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/07/15 7:32 pm Page 58

ALL REVVED UP,

CARS YOU NEVER KNEW EXISTED…

The Bricklin SV-1 is a gull-wing door sports car that was assembled in Canada. Manufactured from 1974 until early 1976 for the U.S. market.

The factory was not able to produce vehicles fast enough to make a profit. As a result, only 2,854 cars were built before the company went into receivership.

It remains the only production vehicle to have factory powered, gull-wing doors, that opened and closed at the touch of a button, as standard equipment.

The Isdera Imperator 108i was a low-volume German supercar produced from 1984 to 1993. MercedesBenz showed the CW311 concept car in1978 but had no interest in putting it into production They allowed their designer to produce the vehicle under his own brand, Isdera. With a 5.0 L Mercedes V8, a top speed of 176 mph and 0-60mph in 5.0 seconds. Unusually, it had a rear-view periscope, creating a bulge on the roof. It also featured gullwing doors. Production ended in 1993 with a total of thirty examples produced.

Originally launched in 2004, the Lotec Sirius is now in it’s second generation and sets its sights on some of the fastest supercars on the market with its Mercedes-Benz sourced V12. While the engine is similar to the one found in the Pagani Zonda, Lotec attached two turbos to the 12cylinder mill in order to reach a peak of 850 HP. Unfortunately BMW didn’t want to go through with the M12 production and made only 3, one was sold to the Sultan of Brunei and another to his brother prince Jefri Bolkiah. They were fitted with the BMW V12, but upgraded by Alpina and reached over 200 MPH

58

Corvini have produced The C6W since 2005. It is a 2-door sports coupé with a removable roof section inspired by the 1976 Tyrrell P34, With a total of 6-8 cars made each year, the car features a rear, Audi 4200 cc 8-cylinder engine and has a top speed of 186 mph

August 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/07/15 7:32 pm Page 59

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August 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/07/15 7:32 pm Page 60

Duck & bEansprOuT sTIr-fry wITH cucuMbEr pIcklE

Easy Chinese: this recipe feeds four and recreates the flavours of Peking duck pancakes. Simple, quick and totally delicious great for a summers evening...

IngrEDIEnTs

• 2 duck breast fillets (approx 200g/7oz each) • 3tsp vegetable oil • 1 clove garlic, thinly sliced • 150g (5½oz) beansprouts • 1tbsp sweet bean sauce (from Chinese

supermarkets) or hoisin sauce (from supermarkets)

METHOD

1) Start by removing the skin and fat from the duck, using a sharp knife angled at 45° to cut between the fat and the meat. Discard the fat and skin and slice the breast in half lengthways then slice on the diagonal into 1cm (½in) chunks. Put the duck in a bowl with all the marinade ingredients and 2tsp water. Cover and chill for 30 minutes.

2) Meanwhile, prepare the pickle. Combine the cucumber and remaining pickling ingredients in a bowl, cover and leave at room temperature. Heat 1½tsp of the vegetable oil in a wok over a mediumhigh heat.

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For the marinade • 1tsp five-spice powder • ¼tsp salt • ½tsp granulated sugar • 1tsp vegetable oil • ½tsp cornflour • 2 big pinches of bicarbonate of soda 3) Add the duck and stir-fry for 3-4 minutes until cooked through and slightly singed at the edges.

Transfer to a bowl and set aside. Wipe the wok with kitchen paper, then put it over a medium heat. Add the remaining vegetable oil and stir-fry the garlic and beansprouts for 30 seconds.

4) Sprinkle in 2tsp water, cover and steam for 1 minute until the water has evaporated, then uncover, add the duck and sweet bean sauce or hoisin sauce and stir-fry for 2 minutes. Drain the cucumber pickle and serve over the duck and beansprouts.

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August 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/07/15 6:07 pm Page 62

Strangebuttrue...

Re-Homed Rosie The Kitten Thinks She's A Husky After Being 'Adopted' By Three Dogs. Now, the ‘kitten-husky cross’ sneaks dog food, follows her husky pals around the house and goes on walks with the pack.

To start of with she was being given human care then all of a sudden - she rejected food and wouldn’t lift her head anymore.

"Her eyes became infected and shut closed.

We realised she needed a mother. So we paired her with Lilo, one of our huskies.

"Amazingly, Lilo took on the motherhood role instantly, which was surprising because she has no pups of her own and was spayed the week before we got the kitten.

"Rosie’s health improved dramatically thanks to Lilo. She’s growing up thinking she’s a husky now and she even goes on walks with them!” The kitten and husky duo play fight all of the time and have been inseparable since Meet the three-month-old kitten who thinks they met. she’s a dog, after being rescued and ‘adopted’ by a husky.

Rosie often walks nearly two miles with her Rosie was re-homed by three sisters, after mother Lilo and her husky chums. They now their co-worker found her abandoned and have over 41,000 followers on Instagram on living on the streets of California. their ‘Lilo the Husky’ page.

GARDEN CENTER L I N D AV I S TA

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August 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/07/15 6:07 pm Page 64

FINANCIAL NEWS The Euro & World Round Up

more exotic destinations. It comes as it was revealed Spain has set a new record for visitors, with 29.2 million descending on the country in the six months to Great News for the Spanish Economy June - 4.2 per cent more than the same period in Thousands are flocking to the seaside resort of 2014.

Benidorm, on Spain's east coast, as families seek All the regions saw growth, with the exception of value-for-money holidays after the mass shooting in Madrid which matched last year’s numbers. The June.

Canarias was the most popular destination taking Sunbathers have been cramming on to the Levante 32.7% of all tourists, followed by Cataluña and and Poniente beaches on what is the first week of the Andalucía with the largest regional increase in the British summer holidays.

Baleares (+ 20.9%) and Andalucía (+11.6%).

Viva Espana…

It also reported that last minute bookings to Greece were down because of the country's debt crisis.

Spain's renewed popularity has come despite the Foreign Office raising the country's terrorism threat level to 'high' earlier this month.

This success comes despite a fall of 17.4% in the number of Russian visitors according to Frontur (the Survey of Tourist Frontier Movements) which is dependent on the Ministry for Industry, Energy and Tourism. There are many more visitors from the United Kingdom and Germany, but France and the Scandinavian Counties Some 15million Britons visited Spain and its islands saw a fall. last year, up from 11million in 2010. Spain's popularity peaked in the 1970s when 17million Britons visited each year – but it has since faced competition from

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August 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/07/15 6:07 pm Page 66

What’s On Guide...

July 22nd to 22nd August 2015: Starlight Festival, the favourite stage for international stars huge array of top stars are descending over Marbella including: Ricky Martin, Julio Iglesias, Andrea Bocelli, Alejandro Sanz o Enrique Iglesias have chosen Starlite´s auditorium for their only performances in Spain It's location on the open-air nature, its perfect acoustics and the proximity between artists and audience makes the auditorium the place where dreams come true a huge array of top stars are descending over Marbella – see page 67 for more details.

30th July to 3rd August 2015: Art Marbella, Art Fair 2015 Marbella will be the mecca of art, courtesy of Art Marbella, the first large Mediterranean art fair. The event will gather about 50 of the most prestigious international galleries. To be held at the Palacio de Congresos y Exposiciones de Marbella. Call for more info: 952 82 82 44.

31st July 2015 to 2nd August 2015: The Moorish Moon Festival is, once again this summer, turning the streets of Mijas Pueblo into the nerve centre of the culture, magic and charm of AlAndalus. The walls and the streets will be illuminated by more than 60,000 candles. The artists who will appear in the international concerts are still to be confirmed. What has already been confirmed is the presence of lots of merchants in the huge souk and lots of people browsing the stalls.

1st to the 13th of August 2015: Summer Open-Air Cinema Málaga 2015: The Summer Cinema is back in Málaga with a programme including 28 films and 114 screenings taking place in practically all districts of the city of Málaga for more info see: www.festivaldemalaga.com/cineabierto/.

6th August to 8th August 2015: Jazz & Swing Nights in Mijas The Mijas Municipal Auditorium is hosting a series of concerts honouring great artists. The band led by George Mileson will play songs by Bruce Springsteen, while Steve Nelson and Andy Claridge will pay tribute to Pink Floyd.

And much much more… For more information see www.costadeldisco.com.

15th - 22nd August: Malaga Feria Every year the city of Málaga lights up as it celebrates its week-long fair with live music, dance, traditional food, flamenco, and amusement park rides. For more information please see: www.malagaturismo.com.

Every Monday: 11 am – 1 pm: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain at La Iglesia Bar, near Bonanza Square, Benalmadena Costa.

Every Monday: Arts and Crafts Fair in Benahavis at 8pm in the Main Square in Benahavis.

Every Monday: Age Concern Drop In for a coffee and a chat at The Captain’s bar Urb. Las Adelfas No. 11 from 11.30am to 1.00pm.

Every Tuesday: The Costa Women Coffee Club meet every second Tuesday at 10am – 12.30pm for coffee, chats and other activities and is a social group designed to get ladies of all ages together. It’s best to join the group via Facebook or contact Emma on 608 408 771.

Every Tuesday: 11 am – 1 pm Age Care Coffee Morning at the Baptist Church, Calahonda, where people can chat, share experiences & take part in a variety of activities. Tel: 952 933 409 for info.

Every Tuesday: Age Concern hold a meeting every Tuesday afternoon 14:00 till 16:00 at the Manila bar in Los Boliches offering Spanish and computer lessons.

Every Tuesday: International meeting for Expats in Estepona. At The Irish Fiddler in the port between 12.00pm and 2.00pm . A chat and meet people over a cup of coffee. Just drop in or contact Hein on 630756514.

Every Thursday: Age Concern hold a meeting from 11:00 till 13:00 at the Manila bar in Los Boliches if you’d like some advice or just a friendly chat please drop by.

Every Thursday: Market at Calypso, Calahonda.

Every Thursday: Flea Market from 9am next to Aldi in Las Lagunas, plenty of parking.

Every Sunday: Flea Market EVERY Sunday 10am till 2pm at Calypso, Calahonda.

Every Sunday: FAMA have a car boot sale at the Hippodrome from 9am - 2pm.

Every Sunday: Craft Market in the Marbella Marina on the Teresa Zabell Pier: 12-6pm.

If you have an event, fundraiser or anything else please let us know...

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email: editor@costalinkmagazine.com phone: 951 216 131 or 663 061 669

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August 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/07/15 6:07 pm Page 68

ocal Info Emergency Numbers

---

Central number for Fire, Police & Ambulance National Police Local Police Guardia Civil dica

Medical

112 091 092 062

Emergency 061 Ambulance Marbella 902 505 061 Ambulance Coin 952 453 267

Health Centres

Town Halls

Marbella 952 761 100 San Pedro 952 453 020 La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208 Fuengirola 952 589 300 Estepona 952 801 100

Fire Brigade

Emergency number 080 Marbella 952 774 349 Estepona 952 804 483 Fuengirola 952 461 046 British Ireland Denmark Sweden Germany France U.S.A

952 952 952 952 952 952 952

Marbella Coin Estepona Fuengirola San Pedro

952 771 442 952 822 818 952 822 818 952 467 457 952 785 252

352 475 226 604 212 226 474

300 108 373 383 442 590 891

Tourist Information

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Bus Stations Marbella 952 764 400 Coin 952 450 366 San Pedro 952 781 396 Estepona 952 800249 For a list of complete times www.andalucia.com/travel/bus Train Timetables 902 240 202 Airports Malaga 952 048 844 Gibraltar 956 773 026

Marbella 952 769 946 Coin 952 452 767 San Pedro 952 787 700

Consulates

Transport

Markets

Monday - Marbella (fairground site on east side) Tuesday - Fuengirola (fairground near Los Boliches) Wednesday -Estepona (Avda.

Juan Carlos) La Cala - Feria ground.

Thursday - San Pedro (Recinto Ferial) Calypso (Mijas Costa).

Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama) Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano Pineda) & Nueva Andalucia (Next to Centro Plaza the Bullring).

La Cala - Feria ground.

Sunday - Puerto Estepona (Marina).

Cinemas

All the Cinemas listed below show films in English as well as Spanish. Call first to check what is showing that week.

Marbella: Cinesur Plaza del Mar 952 766 941 La CaĂąada 902 333 231 Puerto Banus: Gran Marbella 952 810 077 Coin: La Trocha 951 315 039 Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221 622

Chemists

24 hour chemist Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz Km 194. Marbella.

Tel: 952 83 25 89

Taxis

Marbella Taxis 952 774 488 Mijas Costa Taxis 952 476 593

Diary Dates

15th to 22nd August: Malaga Feria. During the Feria de MĂĄlaga, the city buzzes with colour and life.

15th August: Feast of the Assumption.

31st August: Bank holiday UK and Gibraltar.

if you would like to sponsor this page please call 952 935 200 or 663 061 669

August 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/07/15 6:08 pm Page 69

Harryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Sports Bar

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Six TVâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s & Big Screen.

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Sunday roast and homemade tapas.

Large sun terrace.

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Upstairs Los Jarales, Calahonda

Marble Floor Polishing Phone Paul: 654 589 218

Before

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Free advice on how to care for your floors at www.marblefloor.info

August 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/07/15 6:08 pm Page 70

S TA R S I GN S

A look at what's in store for you during August 2015...

Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

Aries

Taurus

Gemini 70

Capricorn, love life prospects aren't exactly optimistic with Venus in retrograde this month. It limits freedom to choose and act, will give you unexpected challenges and complications and all manner of worries related to your relationship or partner. The perfectionist tendencies, in your character may be emphasized in August 2015. You become harder to approach and worry about small things that you wouldn't have paid attention to at other points in your life. On the work front the Sun, Mercury, Mars and Venus (retrograde!) show up one at a time or in combinations things could get complicated, so think well and don't rush into anything! You will be in good physical shape this month, but not overcome by energy or exuberance.

It's hard for you to relax, but if it's clear that you must, you manage to force yourself to take a break and unwind.

Aquarius, there's a lot going on with your love life this month. Many planets come or go, and that's where Venus finds it fitting to retrograde. The Sun emphasizes your relationships until August 23rd 2015. Mars energizes it beginning with August 9th. Equilibrium and harmony are tough to hold on to. Try to be objective and not hot headed! On the work front from August the 2nd 2015 Saturn, resumes its direct motion in your sign, where it will stay until September 18th. Blockages are removed, your energy will flow with more efficiency bringing with it growth. Another significant astral event takes place on August 11th 2015: Jupiter enters your sign, initiating a year long stage of financial opportunities, that you'll be able to capitalize upon only if you're prudent and play it safe. During the first weeks of August 2015 Mars keeps putting pressure on your health. Try to take time out and relax when you can!

Pisces, your sign couple enjoys the presence of Mercury, this month during the 7th-27th August 2015. It's a good sign that things are under control and evolving positively. Venus retrograde in your sign could encourage a romantic liaison with a coworker or collaborator. Something major happens on August 11th 2015: Jupiter, the Greater Benefic, enters your sign this takes about a year, until September 2016, and brings good luck in regard to love, harmonious development of the relationship, perhaps making it official maybe moving in together or marriage is on the cards. Professionally, August 2015 is a very active month for Pisces. It emphasizes work relations. You could resume an older project that has to do with intellect and communication and/or gaining extra money. You have a lot to do professionally, so you should plan your responsibilities carefully. First take care of yourself, and only after that of others!

Aries, expect your love life to be busy for the first part of August 2015. It benefits from the presence of the two VIPs in relationship terms: Venus, planet of love, and Mars, planet of lust. The Sun and Mercury also get a look in this month bring Arians fabulous romances, passion and love from unexpected places. Don't make any important decisions about relationships this month! This is a time for wild adventures and unforgettable holidays for Arians. But if you have to work, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t worry: even that will be fab too. Furthermore, you benefit from luck and favourable circumstances. You know how to emphasize your qualities and shine. You're making good money, but collaborations or partnerships might trigger financial issues. You are bursting with energy in August 2015. They need adrenaline as much as they need air.

Taurus, On August the 2nd 2015 Saturn resumes its direct motion over your skies. This should clear things up regarding issues that until now have remained unsolved. These could be related to home, family or your love life. Later in the month all is looking fantastic if you are looking for love â&#x20AC;&#x201C; if you are in a relationship expect the passion and love to intensify, Taurus you are in for a HOT August. At work you seem to go through a term of professional examinations and (re) evaluations. If you've been having issues in regard to business partnerships or collaborations, you should analyse things rationally and make a decision that will set things right. Don't lose your optimism and confidence! Venus, ruler of Taurus, remains retrograde until September 6 2015. You're under a lot of pressure, the term is risky, so take good care of yourself and avoid carelessness!

Gemini, relationships change tune in August 2015. On August 11th Jupiter, leaves Leo and enters Virgo, where it will stay for a year. Your attitude changes gradually, family ties strengthen. Try and give a lot of attention to communicating with your loved one. Meeting an old flame is not out of the question.

On the work front August 2015 will see you pondering about your job and how it now fits into your life plan it may become stressful at times but remember your bigger goals. Your mind is strong now, and your ability to argument is invincible. If you have to set things up with a collaborator, associate or client, it's important that you interact and negotiate with a cool head and a lot of tact. Be careful how you handle stressful circumstances try to take time to think when you can!

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Cancer

Leo

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio

Sagittarius

Cancer, Saturn goes back to its direct motion in your sign this month. So August 2015 promises to be an important month in regard to relationships. You’ll clear things up when it comes to an older or perhaps you'll gain a wiser understanding about your needs when it comes to relationships, or to your partner. On the work and life front first and foremost, August 2015 presents high financial stakes. It's a term during which you can gain a lot, spend a lot, invest a lot, or have issues related to finances. Money will keep you on your toes and it might dictate changes related to career or status. Be careful when it comes to financial initiatives! It's not a good time to start something big. But if you must, don't rush into it and get advice from experts in the field!

Leo, Venus in retrograde this month, it could generate odd situations in August 2015. It could bring you circumstances that are not expected, not the ones they were hoping for. Love and relationships are in the spotlight; you have something to learn so your relationship can work better in the future. It could prepare you for a decision or a choice. It's time to change your attitude. The best thing you can do in August 2015 is try to overcome your ego and being self-centered. Don’t insist on having things your way! On the work front the Sun is in your sign for the first tow weeks of August 2015, helping you step forward and have success. It gives you good presence and authority, strengthens your ambition and administrative abilities. Your physical shape is pretty good in August 2015. You have a lot of energy this month get to the beach and start those physical activities you have been putting off for a while now.

Virgo, things are a little tangled up at the moment. You have to be patient. Venus, planet of love and relationships, is retrograde in your sign brining with it obstacles and frustrations. What's lacking in your love life in August 2015 is objectivity. And perhaps honesty as well try to evaluate your relationship from a business point of view. Not always with your heart. On the work and life front Mercury, is positioned excellently in your sign this month. Expect the first week of the month to be good, the second very good, and the third exceptional, with a lot of potential for success. In the meantime though, you should be careful with your money in August 2015. You will be full of energy this month, reaching a maximum in the last week of August 2015. You benefit from the protection of planets in Virgo: Mercury, then Jupiter, and the Sun. Libra, relationships are emphasized in this month. Mars is at the highest point in your chart. It makes everything visible, more important. The first week of the month you’ll feel very attracted to someone notorious or powerful. Your career and relationships might become connected. It's a somewhat stressful time, but very exciting. The last weeks are a lot more relaxed. If you are single meet that special someone by socialising or in a group activity. On the work front things don't always go according to plan in August 2015, with Venus (ruler of Libra) in retrograde motion. Sometimes you feel stuck, other times you don't feel like working. You might change your mind and change direction. But if you really want to start something, nothing can stand in your way - no matter how complicated August might be. The most important thing is having clear objectives.

Scorpio, there's no doubt that August 2015 is an important month for you when it comes to your love life. Venus is retrograde this month. This happens in the most prominent sector of your chart. So the most sensitive, delicate and important aspects of your love life will be highlighted. You'll probably have to make some decisions at some point. At work the Venus retrograde highlights the impact of partnerships, including love ones, on your social and professional standing. It could also be about expressing talents and creativity, about popularity and success. An older offer of collaboration might resurface again. If you feel the need to change careers, evaluate your situation carefully and if you can, do it! Where money is concerned, the first part of August 2015 can be productive for Scorpios, but you should be moderate in your spending.

Sagittarius, the first week of August 2015 promises to be memorable when it comes to love because Mars is in conjunction with Venus and Jupiter. The rest of the month is also interesting because Mercury and Jupiter stick together. Everything becomes more visible, more official and more pragmatic. It's not always a smooth ride. Expect big events happen in your work and career this month. To begin with, Mercury camps here between 7th and 27th August 2015. It's a planet that's perfectly capable of orienting things in the direction you want. So now is the time to go full speed ahead, because in August you can make great progress. And financial rewards will come soon as well. With regard your health and fitness this August - The bottom line is you need to take care of yourself this month and steer clear of excesses and carelessness.

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puzzle Link The Words

Solutions on page 84

it out

In each of these puzzles, three words are listed. All you have to do is find another word that can preceed each of these 3 words.

1)

_____

READ

CHILD

WATER

3)

____

BUTTER

MAID

RUN

2) 4) 5)

_____ ____ ___

LANDS HOT

SORE

ROOTS STRONG

ARTIFICIAL

ARROW

WITNESS BULLS

Guess The Celeb

A

B

Sudoku

74

Brain Teaser

There are five people. One of them shot and killed one of the other 5. Which man is the murderer?

1. Dan ran in the NY City marathon yesterday with one of the innocent men.

2. Mike considered being a farmer before he moved to the city.

3. Jeff is a topnotch computer consultant and wants to install Ben's new computer next week.

4. The murderer had his leg amputated last month.

5. Ben met Jack for the first time six months ago.

6. Jack has been in seclusion since the crime.

7. Dan used to drink heavily.

8. Ben and Jeff built their last computers together.

9. The murderer is Jack's brother. They grew up together in Seattle.

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Crossword

Across: 1. Written communication (6) 4. Philatelist collects this (5) 8. Breadth (5) 9. Rants (7) 10. Decorated (7) 11. Secret communication (4) 12. Costa del --- (3) 14. Lake (4) 15. Simple (4) 18. Staff, sceptre (3) 21. Gain, merit (4) 23. Uphold (the law) (7) 25. Hellfire (7) 26. Rocket Man singer (5) 27. Type of eel (5) 28. Breathing complaint (6) Down: 1. Sheriff or marshal (6) 2. Immature frog (7) 3. Something which lifts or brightens (8) 4. Type, kind (4) 5. Connected with hearing (5) 6. Billboard, placard (6) 7. Seen in football boots and noses? (5) 13. These often arrive on the mat (8) 16. A relaxation or a long sentence (7) 17. Boredom, ennui (6) 19. Cleaning out the rubbish from your body (5) 20. A hiatus ---- is a common complaint (6) 22. Allude (5) 24. Lady Jane ---- was the nine days' Queen (4)

Name The Film

A Sandra Bullock stars as an astronaut B who survives after a catastrophe destroys her shuttle and leaves her adrift in orbit (2013).

Hurtled from Rio de Janeiro to the wilds of the Amazon. Blu goes beak-to-beak with the vengeful Nigel, and meets his father-inlaw (2014).

Say What You See...

reading

TIME

spol f

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The Jokespage

Jokespage

Due to the water shortage in Ireland, Belfast swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8.

With all the sadness and trauma of today’s world, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person which almost went unnoticed. Last week, Larry La Prise, the man who wrote “The Hokey Cokey,” died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in.

And then the trouble started…

Two aerials meet on a roof... Fall in love...

Get married.... The ceremony was rubbish...

But the reception was brilliant...

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realised I desperately needed to pass wind. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me...

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod. One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, “What setting do I use on the washing machine?”

It depends,” I replied.

“What does it say on your shirt?”

He yelled back, “University of West Sussex.”

And they say blondes are dumb!

76

A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish…

A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so the Priest

decided to say his own few words while they waited: “I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents; embezzled from his employer; had an affair with his boss’s wife, taken illegal drugs; had several affairs; was arrested several times for public nudity and gave VD to his sister-in-law. I was appalled that one person could do so many awful things… But as the days went on, I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.”

Just as the Priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late.

He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk: “I’ll never forget the first day our parish Priest arrived,” said the politician. “In fact, I had the honour of being the first person to go to him for confession.”

Moral: Never, Never, Never Be Late.

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78

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puzzle Trivia Quiz Answers 1) Richard Osman 2) Canadian 3) Halfords 4) Novak Djokovic 5) Bavarian Motor Works 6) Extras 7) Fish and Chips 8) Serena Williams 9) Fort William 10) Punch 11) Eamonn Holmes 12) The Victoria Cross 13) Peter Andre 14) Clowns 15) Dog Whistle 16) Diurnal 17) 13 18) Walmart 19) Fermentation 20) Georgia 21) John Profumo 22) Waterloo 23) Asda 24) 64 25) On the moon 26) On a British Pound Coin

Answers from 26, 74 & 75

it out

Link The Words 1) Proof 2) Grass 3) Milk 4) Head 5) Eye

Guess The Celeb a) Bruce Willis b) Keira Knightley

Brain Teaser

Answer: Jeff is the killer.

1) Murderer had his leg amputated so it can't be Dan. 2) Jack has been in seclusion so it means he wasn't the one who died. 3) Murderer is Jack's Brother so it can't be ben/jack as he met them 6 months ago for the first time. Jack and the murdered grew up in Seattle so Mike can't be the murderer because he was a farmer. 5) The only remaining suspect is Jeff

Crossword Solution

Sudoku Solution

Name The Film a) Gravity (2013) b) Rio 2 (2014)

Say What You See

1) Reading Between the Lines

84

2) The Beginning of Time 3) Picket Line

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