Costa Link Magazine April 2010 by Costalink Magazine

C o s t a l I n k m ma ag ga az z ii n ne e

COVERING COSTA DEL SOL - INCLUDING FUENGIROLA, LA CALA, CALAHONDA, ELVIRIA, MARBELLA, PUERTO BANUS, SAN PEDRO, ESTEPONA, LA DUQUESA, SOTOGRANDE, ALHAURIN AND COÍN.

t os

APRIL 2010 NO. 37

W W W. C O S TA L I N K M A G A Z I N E . C O M WWW.COSTALINKMAGAZINE.COM

Jokes

Local Info

Bar & Restaurant Guide

H o ro s c o p e s

Kids Page

FREE

Puzzles

What’s On Guide

Your Long Term Propert y Rental Specialists

Glass Curtains S.L.

See Page 34

Tel: 952 939 924 Mob: 671 093 925 www.costarents.com

Autorised dealer

Now available in Spain

Cocoon

Telecom

See Page 9

Tel: 951 161 311 Mbl: 610 654 422 Email: greg.bynert@unique-fires.com www.unique-fires.com

t os

See Page 14

AL BUILD T O T See Page 18

651 091 717 evans.build@hotmail.com

FROM THE HORSE’S MOUTH

NEW FEATURE NEW FEATURE SEE PAGE PAGE

*5($7 :$// 3$*( FROM THE

Tel: 952 599 130 Mbl: 649 09 96 25

- Page 79

HORSE’S MOUTH

Take Away Service or Table Reservation

M &+,1(6( 5(67$85$17

Page 79

Office 952 772 910 Mobile 695 550 196

IRONWORKS High quality metal at factory prices

Established since 1989

t os

Protect Your Home

Windows Door Rejas

Protect Your Family

Patio Rejas Drive Gates Etc.

IF YOU CAN GET LIKE FOR CHEAPER WE WILL REFUND THE DIFFERENCE

FACTORY DIRECT ANY COLOUR - ANY DESIGN URBANISATION THEMES

‘The most respected Britsh steelwork company in Spain’ BECAUSE WHEN IT COMES TO HOME SECURITY “IRONWORKS” VISIT OUR WEBSITE FOR PRICES & MORE EXTENSIVE CATALOGUE

WWW.IRONWORKSINSPAIN.COM ironworksinspain@yahoo.co.uk

TELEPHONE

678 691 393

Happy Easter from all of us at the Costa Link.

sales@costalinkmagazine.com

Website:

t os

www.costalinkmagazine.com

Skype:

costalink.magazine

I would like to start with a serious note, last month we published a new regular piece called Dr David Says David Donaldson at Clinca Medicare is in fact a nurse and was worried that people might think he was using a qualification that he did not have, this is of course not the case and we hope this has not caused him any embarrassment, so apologies to David and Thanks for him for continuing to write the now renamed the piece “Medical Tips”

There are a lot of days to remember this month, firstly watch out for the pranksters on the first day, there is always someone that will catch you out I am sure Deadline Date: 15th of each everyone knows about the spaghetti trees on BBC’s month. Panarama even if they are not old enough to rememNo part of this publication, including ber it! Then its Easter time, Good Friday on the second, pictures may be copied, SCANNED, Easter day on the 4th and celebrations all around the used or reproduced without our prior Costa For Semana Santa. For the more patriotic written consent. English people it’s St George’s Day on the 23rd we Costa Link Magazine accepts no responsi- shall celebrate in true English style with the next meetbility for alterations to events listed, claims ing of the curry club (see page 53).

Deposito Legal: MA-228-2007

made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors.

So whatever you decide to celebrate I am sure its going to be a good one!

Bar & Re staurant Gu ide

Pu z zle s

Jo ke s Pa ge

Ki ds Se ct io n

78 - 79

What’s On Guide

ril Issue p A e h T e d i Ins

9 Seater Minibus Hire With Driver $Lrport Runs 6Wag & Hen Parties 'ays / Nights Out *ROf Trips 4

to advertise in costa link magazine please call 663 061 669

671 093 925

t os

C nk

Li ag

M in

106.1FM

e 952 462 092

A W o m a n’ s W o r l d A Woman's Random Thoughts

t os

Skinny people annoy me. Especially when they say things like, "You know, sometimes I forget to eat." Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.

They kept telling us, get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said, Body, how'd you like to go to the 9 am class in vigorous toning? Clear as a bell my body said, "Do it bitch and you die."

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, smoking too much, impulse buying and driving too fast. Are they joking? That is my idea of a perfect day!

Top Ten Things Only Women Understand 10) Why it's good to have five pairs of black shoes. 9) The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white. 8) Crying can be fun. 7) FAT CLOTHES. 6) A salad, diet drink, and a large piece of chocolate cake make a balanced lunch. 5) Why discovering a designer dress in the sale section can be considered a peak life experience. 4) The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made. 3) A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to impossible. 2) Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten minutes. AND THE NUMBER ONE THING ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND: 1) Other Women!

Academy

(BEGINNERS CLASS) (BEGINNERS CLASS)

More Information Please Visit Our Website At

www.nailzone.es 6

CND BRISA GEL 4 DAYS - 680€

CND ACRYLIC 4 DAYS - 500€

NAIL COURSES IN MALAGA, CADIZ & HUELVA.

NAIL ZONE ACADEMY IS A PROFESSIONAL NAIL ACADEMY, WORKING ONLY WITH THE BEST IN THE BUSINESS, AND THE BEST PRODUCT CND.

Nail Zone

t os

C nk

Li in

M Spring / Summer Collection now in

Avda. del Mediterraneo 4, San Pedro de Alcรกntara (near Da Bruno Restaurant, opposite the Fishing Boat)

genius jeans

Hot Goss !

t os

Lady Gaga “There’s no confusion about it at all. I am GAGA”! The man who has taken credit for “creating” Lady GaGa is attempting to sue the singer for $35m. The record producer Rob Fusari, who worked with the star when she was plain old Stefani Germanotta in 2006, claims to have co-written two of her songs (Paparazzi and Disco Heaven), and even created her stage name. In the past the producer has stated that before GaGa worked (and slept) with him she was a “pasta eater” and a “guidette”. Ouch. The star, who is currently touring Australia followed by Japan, has not yet responded. When she does we assume it will be with a nuclear strike of glitter and unicorns. Starting the UK leg of her Monster Ball tour in May we at Costa Link can’t believe the madness of the Lady called Gaga! Here are just a few of the outrageous outfits she has worn in the past...

Vincenza Designer Lingerie We can obtain hard to find sizes and all our products are manufactured in Europe.

info@vincenzadesign.com www.vincenzadesign.com

Tel. 671 915 292 8

Most products come packaged in branded boxes.

We are able to offer a carefully selected range of exclusive designer lingerie from around the world at affordable prices.

a t os C

nk Li

az ag M

Hot Goss !

t os

Cheryl Cole is having a six-month cooling off period before deciding if she'll divorce footballer love cheat Ashley. The Girls Aloud star, 26, is torn over what to do. With her head telling her to leave him but her heart unable to let go. Her nightmare was reflected with her brave TV performance for Sport Relief, when she appeared with no wedding ring but clearly displaying her Mrs Cole tattoo. Last night a close friend said: "Cheryl has decided to take a deep breath and wait before she makes a final decision. She is really scared about being on her own. She knows the marriage should be over. But her love for Ashley just hasn't gone. She's going to take a few months before she starts any formal proceedings. That will be after the World Cup and it gives Ashley a bit of a reprieve." England and Chelsea star Cole, 29, has seemed more optimistic in recent days. The injured

defender had hit rock-bottom after X Factor Judge Cheryl told him to pack his bags when he visited their Surrey mansion. If Cheryl does divorce Cole, she is unlikely to call in highprofile lawyers. The friend said: "It would be done behind closed d o o r s , between the two of them.â&#x20AC;?Cheryl would never have some sort of big public battle." We wish them both happiness in the future whatever it may bring

No more mowing,watering or dead spots! Artificial grass is the solution for a uniqueground covering. For more info or a free quotation Call 619317211. www.axarverde.com

952 660 233 - 667 668 685

M Patio doors secured, Safes opened and fitted, Locks upgraded, Changed key holding. Fully registered. Credit cards now taken. Call Bob and Debbie on:

t os

C (Ingrown nails, fungal nail etc)

Corns Callus Painful cracked heels

M.S.S.Ch M.B.Ch.A

Also available at

Surgical Chiropodist

Hair Magic

Specialist in Diabetic and Elderly Footcare

Calypso, Calahonda

Fungal infections

Wendy S. Davey

Nail Surgery

Li Home Visits Treatments Include:

Tel: 952 931 777

Registered and Insured by the British Chiropody Association

Miraflores, Riviera Miraflores, R i v i e ra d del el SSol,29469 ol,29469 M Mijas ijas C Costa, osta, M Marbella, arbella, SSpain pain EEstablished stablished 10 10 Years Years on on the the Coast Coast

CERTIFIED

COMPUTING MAR MARBELLA BELLA Professional P rofessional Ad Advice vice ffrom rom M Microsoft icrosoft Qualified Qualified Engineers En g i n e e r s FFrom rom B Business usiness to to Home Ho m e U Use se All A ll R Repairs, epairs, U Upgrades p g ra d e s & P Performance er formance EEnhancements n h a n ce m e nt s A Available va i l a b l e New N ew P PC C & LLaptops a p to p s A Available vailable aatt FFantastic a nt a s t i c P Prices!! r i ce s ! ! TTel: el: 9 951 51 272 272 503 503 or or 6 610 10 0 080 80 259 259 EEmail: mail: eeclipsespain@hotmail.co.uk clipsespain@hotmail.co.uk

ECLIPSE E CLIPSE

Mobile: 686 518 221

SYSTEMS ENGINEER

April Fool...

t os

Alton Towers Resort got cheeky and sent out reports that it will unveil a rollercoaster for dogs. The supposed poochcoaster will be fitted with booster seats for small dogs and harnesses to secure a hairy yet safe ride. Animal love doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t stop there. Sir Richard Branson is peddling his first ever pet-only Virgin Active gym to ease concern about obesity amongst house-broken animals.

Beauty tip for the day: Don't believe a word you hear about the goo in Cadbury Creme Eggs being good for your skin. With Photoshop as the trick up everyone's sleeve even photographs should be questioned. This picture is the world's first hotel helicopter, conveniently dubbed The Hotelicopter, it is definitely a fake. Pasante is pretending to have tapped into a new market by inventing dog condoms. If you see people licking newspapers and magazines blame it on the Russians. Russian Standard is goofing that it has created a lickable ad to sell its vodka. Hoping to get away with a hoax by picking a serious topic like discrimination, the Department for Business, Enterprise and Regulatory Reform (BERR) says it is looking into the mistreatment of red-haired people. FOR MORE APRIL FOOLS SEE PAGE 14

SPECIAL OFFERS ON SKY+

GB TV

CLMÂŠ2008

SKY DIGITAL Installation within 24 hours HD free to air boxes available

Call Us Today 658 084 802 658 084 806

CALL US NOW FOR A QUOTE

Fuengirola, Marbella, San Pedro, Estepona WE COVER ALL AREAS and in between. From the coast to the campo

SKY CARDS - CONTRACTS - ACTIVATIONS RE - ALIGNMENTS - NO FIX NO FEE 12

a t os C

nk Li

az ag M

Gotcha...

t os

Who says a boffin can't join in on some nerdy fun? Scientists today say are fighting the war on poor nutrition by developing the Vitaberry. It's the shape of a raspberry, the colour of a blueberry and has the seeds and feel of a strawberry.

Burger King published a full page advertisement in USA Today announcing the introduction of a new item to their menu: a "Left-Handed Whopper" specially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans. According to the advertisement, the new whopper included the same ingredients as the original Whopper (lettuce, tomato, hamburger patty, etc.), but all the condiments were rotated 180 degrees for the benefit of their left-handed customers. The following day Burger King issued a follow-up release revealing that although the Left-Handed Whopper was a hoax, thousands of customers had gone into restaurants to request

the new sandwich. Simultaneously, according to the press release, "many others requested their own 'right handed' version." Road planners claim to be reversing the flow of traffic on the M25.

One of the funniest corporate try-on of the day comes from Whyte & Mackay, claiming to market aftershave that smells like whisky. If that wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t enough for you to sniff out the swindle, try this: the c o m p a n y tapped darts legend Phil Taylor to market the product.

50%

Off any fire installed subject to availability

t 8FMM LOPXO SFQVUBCMF CSBOE UIF NBSLFU MFBEFS JO SFBM Ă¸BNF FĂ˛FDU t "XBSET XPO GPS FOFSHZ FĂłDJFODZ BOE EFTJHO t *EFBM GPS 4QBOJTI MJWJOH Ă¸BNF FĂ˛FDU DBO CF SVO JOEFQFOEFOUMZ GSPN IFBU XJUI GVMM SFNPUF DPOUSPM t 8JEF SBOHF PG NPEFMT UP TVJU BMM UBTUFT BOE CVEHFUT TPNF BWBJMBCMF XJUI PQUJPOT UP SFDFTT JOUP XBMM PS FYJTUJOH ĂśSFQMBDF t $MFBO *OTUBOU IFBU XJUI OP NFTT VOMJLF HBT BOE MPH ĂśSFT t &BTZ UP JOTUBMM DBO CF QPTJUJPOT PO BOZ XBMM JO BOZ SPPN KVTU QMVH JOUP OPSNBM FMFDUSJD TPDLFUT VOMJLF PUIFS ĂśSFT XJUI Ă¸VF SFTUSJDUJPOT t 1SPWJEFT B GBOUBTUJD GPDBM QPJOU UP B SPPN FTQFDJBMMZ BQBSUNFOU MJWJOH BEEJOH WBMVF UP QSPQFSUZ

FOR A FREE NO OBLIGATION SURVEY CONTACT GREG BYNET Tel / Fax: Mobile: Email: HSFH CZOFSU!VOJRVF ĂśSFT DPN t XXX VOJRVF ĂśSFT DPN

WHEELCHAIR & ELECTRIC SCOOTER HIRE & SALES

WHEELCHAIRS

Calle Antequera 4, La Cala de Mijas,

Tel: 952 493 061 Mob: 656 694 014 www.wheelchairsscootersspain.com

REPAIRS

a t os C

nk Li

az ag M

The Rules of Chocolate...

t os

•If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. •Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. •The problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot. •Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less. •A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy? •If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you? •If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the

chocolate to protect themselves. •Money talks. Chocolate sings. •Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. •Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? Because no one wants to quit. •Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

•Chocolate is a health food. Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived either from sugar beets or cane, both vegetables. And, of course, the milk/cream is dairy. So eat more chocolate to meet the dietary requirements for daily vegetable and dairy intake.

HAPPY EASTER !!!

MAHON ESTATES SHOWING YOU WHERE & WHY

80% MORTGAGES

t os

FREE LEGAL ADVICE

MORTGAGES & RE-MORTGATING ARRANGED

15 YEARS EXPERIENCE IN THE PROPERTY BUSINESS

HOUSES, APARTMENTS & BARS FOR SALE AND RENT PROPERTIES REQUIRED FOR OUR EVER GROWING LIST OF CLIENTS

ENJOY A RELAXED & FRIENDLY OFFICE BASED IN CALAHONDA FREE PLASMA TV WITH EVERY PURCHASE FREE CASE OF WINE WITH EVERY LONG TERM RENTAL

M Front Line Bar / Restaurant in Fuengirola Port for Sale Fully Licensed & Equipped, Ready to move into straight away.

A BARGAIN AT ONLY 28,000€

FEEL FREE TO CALL IN AND SPEAK TO AUDREY OR DAVID OUR HOURS ARE 10-2 & 3-6 MONDAY TO FRIDAY

COMMERCIAL EL CAMPANARIO, LOCAL 8C, CALAHONDA, MIJAS-COSTA TEL: 0034 951 978 048 FAX: 0034 951 978 048 MOB: 0034 697 561 423 or 0034 617 561 319 Email: dave@mahonestates.com Web: www.mahonestates.com

Illuminating...

t os

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find some woman I really don’t like and just give her a house. Rod Stewart There’s very little advice in men’s magazines, because menthink, I know what I’m doing. Just show me somebody naked. Jerry Seinfield According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course,men are just grateful. Robert De Niro Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships. Sharon Stone My wife is a sex object – every time I ask for sex, she objects. Les Dawson "I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada" “I’ve never really wanted to go to

Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.”Britney Spears. “I'd kiss a frog even if there was no promise of a Prince Charming popping out of it. I love frogs”. Cameron Diaz. "Nicky and I are different in this crucial way, She's better at shopping than I am." "Whenever I write an e-mail, it doesn't mean anything. It is just words I write." Paris Hilton. "It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher." Linda Evangelista. I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. They wake up in the morning and that’s the best they are going to feel all day. Frank Sinatra "Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything". Ivana Trump

651 091 717

952 450 487 4

Construction & Developments

&$// 86 12: )255 $ &$// 86 12: )25 $ 7$,/25 0$'( 4827$7,21 7$$,/25 0$'( $,/25 0$'( 48277$77,21

6SHFLDOLVLQJ ,Q <RRXU 5HHPRYDOV 6SHFLDOLVLQJ ,Q <RXU 5HPRYDOV 6WRUDJH 1HHGV

Group Gr oup

AL BUILD TOT

The TTh he epot p ddepot

evans.build@hotmail.com 18

t os

C nk

Li az

M SPECIALISING IN ALL TYPES OF DECKING

OPENING HOURS MON - FRI 8.00 - 5.30 SAT 9.00 - 13.00 TEL/FAX 0034 -952 835 172 www.abbs.es info@abbs.es

t os

C nk

Li ag

MI T MICRO LAPTOP & COMPUTER REPAIRS

Virus removal, Software problems solved FREE UPGRADE CHECK

Callout service available!

952 596 346

DOUBLE THE SPEED OF YOUR COMPUTER - FROM â&#x201A;Ź50.00

Open 10 til 7 Mon-Fri (NO SIESTA) 10-2 Sat (Get 10% off printer ink and toner when you buy a complete set with this advert) 20

a t os C

nk Li

az ag M

Rodney you Plonker!

t os

Rodney: I could do with another blanket here, I'm freezing. Del Boy: Yeah it is a bit cold. Uncle Albert: Cold? You bits of kids don't know the meaning of the word. You should have been with me on the Russian convoys. One night it was so cold the flame on my lighter froze.

Del Boy: Bloody Hell! What have WE got ourselves into here? Rodney: Well this is your fault! You just go rushing into things and to Hell with the consequences! Del Boy: That's because I've got a High Profile! Rodney: Yeah! High profile and low forehead! [after opening a box of "Life-size

Inflatable Dolls" they purchased by accident]

mentis down the one-eleven club. I never thought I'd get shot of 'em, Rodney, but you know me; he who dares wins. I actually made quite a tidy little profit on it and all. Rodney: And what are we supposed to do with them? Del Boy: Well, why don't you do what I did? Find yourselves a couple of right little plonkers with cash on the hip. Del Boy: Sit down, Rodney. Keep your brains warm. Rodney: We didn't know the fancy dress had been cancelled. Trigger: Me neither. Rodney: You mean, that's your costume? Trigger: Yeah. I came as a chauffeur. I feel a bit stupid now. Rodney: Yeah, you do stand out.

Trigger: If it's a girl they're gonna name it Sigourney, after the actress. And if it's a boy they're gonna name him Rodney, after Dave. [Talking about naming Del's baby]

Rodney: I've been thinking. Del Boy: Oh, leave it out Rodney, we're in enough trouble as it is.

Grandad: Did you play cards again last night? Del Boy: What? Yes! You know me Grandad! He who dares, wins. Grandad: How'd you get on? Del Boy: I lost.

Rodney: [after getting his old job back at Trotters Independent Traders] What will be my title? Del Boy: We'll call you Lord Rodney! Rodney: I meant company title!

Rodney: If there is such a thing as reincarnation, knowing my luck I'll come back as me.

Del Boy: [is trying to impress] I say, how do you spell 'Arrods? Woman in Club: Capital A. Del Boy: Yes, capital... oh. Oh, right. Yes. Beam me up, Snotty.

Rodney: [referring to a pile of broken lawnmower engines] Oi, Del... me and Mickey might have a problem getting these back to our depot. We come down on the Green Line, see? Del Boy: Right, well, your best bet would be to hire an open-backed truck. Rodney: Oh, yeah, yeah, that's what we thought, but... we were wondering if you could take a couple in the back of the van. Del Boy: Back of my van? You must be joking. I've only just cleared 'em out of the van! Rodney: You mean you were selling 'em in the first place? Del Boy: Yeah. That is the rubbish that Alfie Flowers sold me last week. Normally I'd never have bought it but, you know, he caught me when I was a bit non compost

Grandad: [talking to the Police] Rodney's got a police record! Del Boy: [quickly] Yes, er... it's "Walking on the Moon".

Del Boy: I keep all the stuff I never intend to see in this old shed. Uncle Albert: Why have you got this deep sea divers suit for, Del? Del Boy: I bought it so you can go down and visit all the ships you sailed on you git!

LINGOLN WITH JAG TECH.......7900€ RENAULT KANGOO...................3300€

PEUGEOT CABRIO 206, 2002..................................6800€

MERCEDES 210 2.5 DIESEL.....3300€ SAAB CONVERTIBLE........................5900€ MERCEDES E320 CDI ...........14900€

RANGE ROVER AUTO VERY GOOD CONDITION 6900 €

OPEL CORSA 2003 DIESEL.....3300€ RENAULT SCENIC DIESEL.......3800€

HYUNDAI SANTA FE 2005........9300€ CHRYSLER STRATUS......ONLY 2800€ FIAT BARCHETTA CABRIO......5,200€

MECRCEDES BENZ A140 2004.......7200€ FORD MAVERICK RHD.............5300€ OPEL CORSA DIESEL................3300€ JEEP GRAN CHEROKEE...........9900€ RHD GRAND CHEROKEE .........2999€ BMW X5, 2002 ,RHD............. 9800 €.

ML 55 AMG, AUTOMATIC, 2001 VGC....................14800€

FORD KURLER 2005.................5850€

t os

C nk

Li M

EU INSURANCE DIRECT

INSURANCE RENEWAL DUE???? CALL 4 A QUOTE

Excellent prices & service, instant cover Your ONE-STOP INSURANCE SHOP

Cars / Motor Bikes/Buildings & Contents / Life Cover/ Mortgage Protection/Savings/Pension Plans/Travel Ins up to 84 / Private Health Plans/Commercial, Boats, Jet Skis & more....

952 83 08 43 / 676 09 84 64

: euinsurance@hotmail.com

www.euinsurancedirect.com 24

a t os C

nk Li

az ag M

A M a nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s W o r l d

t os

With banks thinking of installing new drive through ATMâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, we have set out a guide. Male Procedure: 1.Drive up to the cash machine. 2.Put down your car window. 3.Insert card into machine and enter PIN. 4.Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 5.Retrieve card, cash and receipt. 6.Put window up. 7.Drive off. Female Procedure: 1.Drive up to cash machine. 2.Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine. 3.Put on the hand brake, put the window down. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card. 4.Tell person on mobile 'phone you will call them back and hang up. Attempt to insert card into machine.

We Buy Scrap Gold - Gold Coins Rings - Chains Pendants - ETC Inst nstant tant a Cash Home Visits

diiamonds amonds waanted nted All MUSICAL beest st pr rices ices paaid id INSTRUME NSTRUMENTS we caann trravel avel BOUGHT

GOLD

5.Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car. Insert card. 6.Re-insert card the right way. 7.Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page. 8.Enter PIN. 9.Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. 10.Enter amount of cash required. 11.Take a quick peek at yourself in rear view mirror. 12.Retrieve cash and receipt 13.Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside. 14.Write debit amount in cheque register and place receipt in back of chequebook. 15.Re-check makeup. 16.Drive forward 2 feet. 17.Reverse back to cash machine. 18.Retrieve card. 19.Drive away with the Hand Brake still on!

e 622 67 679 79 038 26

EST: 1985

t os

p u S

l o o erp

Pool Tables on Profit Share Domestic Tables New and Reconditioned

Re-covering service

Accessories Lights, Cues and Cloth

Now also Mini Vending Machines

Te l : 6 2 9 5 3 0 2 3 3 w w w. s u p e r p o o l s p a i n . c o m

Suppliers and Installers of:

Brings you the Best in World Sport

Home Entertainment SL

O ORBIT RBIT

The new home of Premiership Football

All 380 Premiership games LIVE!

Home Cinema’s and Home Automations Up to 8 LIVE games ALL at ONCE

Sky - Sky + - Sky HD - Freesat

PLUS games not on SKY or SETANTA

Plasmas / LCD’s

PLUS Championship Games

European Golf Tour

TEL / FAX: 952 802 457 /952 794 900 Mobile: 654 758 415 Email: orbitsl@hotmail.com Website: www.orbitsl.com Pto. Paraiso Local 15, Estepona Port. WORKING ON THE COSTA DEL SOL SINCE 1990

FREE FREE DVDPLAYER PLAYER DVD WITHEVERY EVERY WITH INSTALLATION INSTALLATION

VISIT OUR SHOWROOM OR CALL TO DISCUSS YOUR NEEDS

Specialists in Community Installations LIVE Rugby, Six Nations

Real Exam Answers?!? •Q: Name the four seasons. •A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. Presumably also the inspiration of Vivaldi (don't forget the Ketchup)

t os

"It's not that I'm fick, but I just don't get it yeah".It's hard to believe these exam answers are true, I know standards are slipping but...

•Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. •A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. - (dead sheep could really block your tap)

•Q; Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. •A: Premature death. •Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? •A: Keep it in the cow.(can't argue with that) •Q: What does the word "benign" mean? •A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight. TECHNOLOGY •Q: What is a turbine? •A: Something an Arab wears on his head. (to keep him cool in the desert ?) RELIGION •Q: What’s a Hindu? •A: It lays eggs.

•Q: What happens to your body as you age? •A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

reaches puberty? •A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

•Q: What happens to a boy when he

PREMIER CAR SALES

t os

SPANISH & UK PLATED CARS WANTED! ALL CARS WANTED IN PART EXCHANGE

RENAULT ESPACE 2.2 DIESEL 7 SEATS RHD ON SP 5,995€

NISSAN TERRANO 3.0TDI 2005 5 SEATS, A/C, C/D, E/W, 11,995€

VW LUPO 2002 LHD ON UK PLATES 2 DOOR A/C,E/W 2,995€ OR 4,000€ ON SPANISH

HYUNDAI GETZ 2006 A/C, E/W, C/D 5 DOOR WITH ONLY 45000 KLS FROM NEW 5,995€

RENAULT KANGOO 2008 1.5 DCI TWIN DOORS A/C, C/D, PARKING AID LIKE NEW 10,995€

NISSAN TERRANO 2.7TDI 2001 7 SEATS, A/C, C/D, E/W, LHD ON SP 6,995€ CHOICE OF TWO

a Li

DODGE CHARGER 5.7 HEMI R/T 2006 AUTO LHD ON UK LEATHER AC, FULLY LOADED. P.O.A.

TOYOTA LANDCRUISER 2.5TDI RHD ON SPANISH PAS A/C, C/D 3,995€

ROVER 45 1.9TDI NEW BRAKES FULLY SERVICED LHD ON SPANISH PLATES 3,995€

VAUXHALL VECTRA CHOICE OF TWO 2003/2004 PETROL OR DESIEL SALOON OR HATCH RHD ON UK PLATES BACK FROM 3995€

RENAULT LAGUNA 1.9DCI 6 SPEED ESTATE HALF LEATHER AC,EW,CL,ROOF BARS RHD ON UK PLATES 3995€

FORD F250 LARIAT 6LT POWER STROKE DIESEL 2003 LHD ON UK PLATES 37 INCH TYRES 8 INCH LIFT KIT LEATHER FULLY LOADED 16,995€

SUZUKI IGNIS, 4X4 2004 PAS,A/C FULLY SERVICED LONG ITV 6,995€

RENAULT CLIO 2001 A/C, R/L, ABS, PAS, FSH, ONLY 55,000 KLS FROM NEW, LHD, SP 3,995 €

BMW 328I ESTATE LEATHER A/C, C/D FSH, ALLOYS, LHD 5,900€ OR 6,900€ ON SPANISH

TOYOTA RAV 4 D4 DIESEL LWB 5 DOOR EL,CL,PAS, CD PLAYER JUST HAD NEW CLUTCH FITTED 7,995€

FOR MORE DETAILS PLEASE CALL

691 894 103 or 656 826 711

Open Monday to Friday 10am till 6pm

WEEKENDS & BANK HOLIDAYS OPEN BY APPOINTMENT

Email: premiercarsales@hotmail.com - www.premiercarsspain.com

DUNNES STORES

CAR SALES

N340 MARBELLA

PREMIER

FUENGIROLA

MALAGA

ROAD NOW OPEN

DISCOUNT WAREHOUSE

MIJAS GOLF

COIN ROAD A7053

OR BUY ME

Paws for thought...

t os

The Talking Dog... This man sees a sign in front of a house "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back garden. The man goes into the back yard and sees the dog sitting there."You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the dog replies. "So, what's your story?". The dog looks up and says "Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told MI5 about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered

some incredible dealings there and was awarded loads of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired. "The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. The owner says "Ten euros." The guy says he'll buy him but asks the owner, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him?" The owner replies, "He's such a liar." Catâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s thoughts... Here are some tried and true methods of getting your human to do what you want: Sitting on paper: An oldie but a goodie. If a human has paper in front of it, chances are good it's something they assume is more important than you. They will often offer you a snack to lure you away. Establish your supremacy over this wood pulp product at every opportunity. This practice also works well with computer keyboards, remote controls, car keys and small children.

t os

C Li nk

Free Pe from St A t Taxi nth College e onys v Saturday ery fo groomin r gs

Medical Tips... The simple answer is - “I assist your being (body/mind/emotions/spirit) in coming back to balance and harmony”

t os

I am often asked “what do I do as a Kinesiologist?”

The next question is usually “what does that mean?” Well, I work with you to integrate your body, emotions, mind and spirit so they can function in harmony. Often our conscious mind says one thing ; I want to be healthy, lose weight, give up smoking, take more time for me etc ,while the subconscious is saying something else. Many times the subconscious wins and although we strive to reach our goals, old behaviour patterns come up and we feel we have failed, give up and continue to struggle on.

problem but instead asked her body/mind what it needed. As we worked together she discovered that although consciously she felt confident about talking in front of groups, she still had an underlying fear of doing so. She discovered that this stemmed from a childhood experience in school where she had felt ridiculed after speaking out in class. Although her adult self was confident, there was a part of her that was scared. We worked with this using positive statements, the appropriate muscles, neurolymphatic and neurovascular points on the body, and within a couple of sessions her stomach pains had disappeared and she actually looked forward to her presentations. I didn´t treat her stomach, I asked her body/mind what it needed and this was revealed in the appropriate order for this client. Ultimately we know what we need to heal ourselves (although we may not be aware of it) this is the wonderful part of doing kinesiology.

Kinesiology was developed from western chiropractic therapy and Chinese Five Element theory. Currently there are many branches of kinesiology, some closely aligned to physiotherapy, while others work much more with the emotional and mental spheres.

By Nurse David from Clinica Medicare

Let me give you an example of this: A client came to see me because of a recurring problem with stomach pain. She had seen her GP and there didn´t appear to be a physical problem. She wanted to obtain relief from her pain and was concerned that it was “all in her head”. She explained that she had recently changed her job and was now required to give presentations to large groups of people. I did not treat her stomach

It can be used to: improve sports performance, develop learning skills, confidence, clear allergies or phobias, assist dyslexia or dyspraxia, help you to find a way through troubling emotions and support you through many chronic conditions. Importantly it also helps you to achieve your personal goals. Kinesiology does not diagnose or treat illnesses. It works on a system of Priority, This means your body/mind priority.

With every kinesiology session I go on a journey with my client. I do not know where we are going to go initially. The destination is decided by my client, then, with their permission I enter their energy field and begin to ask questions. The client´s body/mind tells me what the troubling issue is and also gives me clues for the appropriate direction to take. We follow the signposts and eventually arrive at the destination. The balance may include; working with positive statements, change of diet, exercise, flower essences, whatever is appropriate. Ultimately, kinesiology empowers you to be more of who you are!

t os

A Nurse led service providing an innovative and holistic approach to healthcare that brings the values and practices of a British Health Centre to the Costa del Sol, enabling you to access a service that is familiar.

•Well Womens Clinic (Cervical Smears, breast examinations) •Full Health Assessments •Dyslexia Assessments •Complimentary Therapists •Counseling service •Hypertension management

•Community Mental Health team Mens Health Clinic (Includes PSA, Testicular examination) •Care Coordination Centre •Asthma Clinic •Diabetes Management •Vaccination Clinics

Tel: 952 83 57 76 www.clinicamedicare.com

Located in La Cala de Mijas just around the corner from the BP petrol station. Ample parking.

a t os C

nk Li

az ag M

e l i t e Glass Curtains SL Protect and reduce effect of dust, wind, noise &

Open

Protect and reduce the effects of dust, wind, noise rain on your balcony & rain on your balcony

t os

SPECIALIST MANUFACTURERS AND INSTALLERS OF GLASS CURTAINS

Createananallallyear yearround roundusable usable terrace terrace Create Framelessglazing glazingsystem systemwith with undisturbed undisturbed views Frameless views

Specialist in manufacturing glass curtains Specialist in manufacturing glass curtains 20 years experience in glazing industry

Full public liability insurance

Trade and commercial enquires welcome Trade and commercial enquiries welcome

Closed Elviria

Before

References available upon request From quotation to installation you can be sure of a first class product and service from Elite Glass Curtains

After

We will beat any like for like quotation

For your free no obligation quotation call now on PHONE - 952 830 503 MOBILE - 630 625 085 E-MAIL - info@eliteglasscurtains.com WEB - www.eliteglasscurtains.com ELITE GLASS CURTAINS S.L., POLIGONO ELVIRIA 26, ELVIRIA 29600

From The Horses Mouth - Laminitis...

t os

As the fields get dryer and the days get longer and warmer, there,s plenty to look forward to in the months ahead. After a long wet winter spent stabled, and some time spent munching hay in a muddy paddock, your horse will think all his birthdays have come at once, when he finds himself kicking his heels up in a field of fresh spring grass. It may be a relief to leave the damp dark days behind you,but beware Spring brings its own health problems for your horse. The first flush of fresh spring grass can cause Laminitis a painfull, and potentially crippling condition which causes inflamation of the sensative laminae which lie between the hoof and the bone of the foot (Pedal Bone) Traditionally considered a disease of fat ponies grazing on lush grass, but it can affect any horse, donkey or mule and can be caused by overeating or any condition that leads to toxaemia or septicaemia, such as retention of foetal membranes after foaling, or excessive trauma to the feet, it can be an acute or chronic condition. In the acute disease severe pain in the feet is a constant sympton, the horse is generally distressed, and a bounding pulse can be felt in the arteries underneath the fetlocks. The front feet tend to be more effected than the back, and as a result the horse tends to stand with his hind legs under his body, and his front legs extended in a bid to lessen the weight bearing and therefore the pain. In less effected cases the horse will stand alternately lifting one foot then the other. Later in the course of the condition the foot feels cold whilst the coranary band is hot. Separation occurs between hoof and pedal bone, this together with the pull of the deep flexor tendon can cause rotation of the pedal bone, the point of the rotated pedal bone puts pressure on the sole of the foot causing it to flatten from its normal concave position.In severe cases the bone penatrates the foot. If the separation between hoof and pedal bone is

extensive then further complications develop, the unsupported bony colomn sinks within the foot causing long term changes that are very difficult to control. Irreversable changes occur within the first twelve hours so prompt treatment is essential, this is aimed at preventing further damage and reducing the effect of the loss of blood supply to the laminae. In mild cases carefully controlled light exercise can be attempted in the early stages in an attempt to improve the blood supply to the foot, but if any sinking has commenced then light exercise will not help. Stabling on a litter that supports the sole is essential, a mixture of peat and sand is best, but wood bark will suffice. In all but the mildest of cases the fitting of a heart bar shoe will support the pedal bone. In severe acute cases surgical removal of the front wall of the hoof may be necessary, some acute cases do not respond well to treatment and in severe cases euthanasia is the kindest option. So try to avoid this terribly painfull condition and make sure your horse or pony is not overweight by feeding according to workload. If your horse or pony is diagnosed with laminitis then feeding a forage based diet or feeds that are recognised by the lamanitic trust such as Dodson & Horrels Safe & Sound If feeding forage only, then hay with alfalfa (Lucerne) Alfalfa contains essential minerals that the horse can utilize to improve hoof quality, but ensure plenty of water is available to avoid the risk of impaction colic. Soaking hay for a couple of hours will assist in the water intake and also remove some of the protien and carbohydrate. Always contact your vet if you suspect your horse to be suffering from this condition,in most cases your vet and farrier will work together and soon have your horse on the road to recovery. So dust off your tack, and start looking forward to many hours of fun we can have with our horses now that summer is on the way. Next months topic Sweet Itch.

JUST RE-OPENED!

Quality Grooming & Pet Products Fully Qualified Pet Beautician Caring & Professional Service Open 6 Days - Appointment to Suit Full Groom or Bath & Brush Up

t os

Avienda del golf, Riviera Tel: 615 044 588 Email: info@thedogshack.net

Formally PattyPaws Under NEW Management

Pet Taxi Coming Soon

GARDE CE TER L I D AV I S TA

HUGE RANGE OF: POTS GARDEN TOOLS PLANTS FLOWERS & SHRUBS GARDEN FURNITURE GARDEN ORNAMENTS

e Ctra de Cadiz, Km171,29670, San Pedro de Alcantara, Behind McDonalds in San Pedro. Tel; 952785206

CLMÂŠ2008

Dog grooming Salon & Pet Boutique Love Your Dog Love the

Diners to Vista del Mar were treated to a show they will remember for years to come!

t os

A Christmas to Remember!!

Mid way through the afternoon Xmas Lunch, a trickle of water appeared from the Restaurant ceiling. Within minutes this trickle turned into a deluge of water, right in the middle of the Restaurant. Fortunately there was no table directly underneath as the diners would have enjoyed a 'mid afternoon shower'

The evening sitting was completed without lights, which had all blown in the afternoon, candles and Jane Charles again doing a sterling job with no lights..

We have just reopened, some TEN WEEKS later (March 10th) and even though we still have damage to several areas, we ARE BACK for 2010 in this our FOURTH YEAR offering a Lounge Bar & Grill Concept. Our menu is more of a lighter variety with the dearest dish being â&#x201A;Ź18 - With summer coming we will be offering BBQâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, Hog Roasts and Entertainment as usual. (Please visit www.playamiraflores.com for full details). Coming Soon Bouncy Castle!!

Undeterred by the floor show which threatened to take the limelight away from Jane Charles, our entertainer for the special day,Jane offered her rendition of 'Singing in the Rain', which is exactly what was happening, albeit INSIDE of Vista Del Mar.

Unbeknown to the diners, the kitchen was deluged with a waterfall of water from the ceiling as pipes burst unable to cope with the amount of water that had fallen continuosly for 10 days, but to their credit the food got through and the whole experience is one that will remain for years to come!

In true British spirit, the packed Restaurant Diners carried on the day as if nothing had happened, indeed some offered to mop up the 'swimming floor', which we cannot thank them highly enough for!

A new chef Andrew, New concept pop in ( just for a drink, a snack, tea /coffee with HOMEMADE cakes ,or try from the menu) and say hello - The quality, friendly service all at affordable prices to suit all.

a t os C

nk Li

az ag M

browns The Restaurant

Special Tapas Menu Large Choice of Tapas

3 for 5€

ADVERTISE YOUR BAR OR RESTAURANT HERE

RESERVATIONS RECOMMENDED

Just Give Us A Call

browns The Restaurant

Fuengirola Avda. Antonio Machado Torremolinos

CAFE - BAR

Traditional and Vegetarian Fayre available including: Burgers, Lasagne, Currys, Chillis, Fresh salads, Homemade chips, All day breakfasts and much more. Quorn products, Childrens menu, and a selection of Desserts also available.

Open daily Tuesday Sunday 10.00 18.00 Frontline Fuengirola Port Marina. Tel: 672 028 226 40

Everything direct from London Pie, Mash and Liquer Jellied Eels, Dressed crab, Whelks, Peeled prawns, Mussels, Winkles and much more! Eat In and Take Away Now supplying wholesale

PORTSIDE

NOW AT

Fuengirola

Flamingo Square

Cockles Seafood

Carril del Siroco

663 061 669

Telephone:

www.brownsbenalmadena.com

952 576 513 659 255 411

Benalmadena

Probably the best value on the coast

t os

Bar & Restaurant Guide...

Kashmiri Restaurant

20%

Discount on selected beers & wines (Everyday from 5.30pm until 8pm)

SET MENU 4 COURSES

€20

CHOICE OF 4 STARTERS CHOICE OF 4 MAIN COURSES

La Cala Hills

€1.50

t os

KASHMIRI from TAPAS

20% DISCOUNT ON ALL TAKE AWAYS OVER 25€

FREE

Camino De Coin Oppisite St Antonys College Tel: 952 669 755

GLASS OF BUBBLY PER PERSON WITH THIS AD

PUNJAB PALACE

Open Daily From 1pm till 4pm 6pm till Midnight Take Away FREE Home Delivery Service Playa Marina 952 583 594 666 435 762

Playa Marina

INDIAN RESTAURANT

See our website for menu details

www.punjabpalaceplayamarina.es Urb. Playa Marina, Local 5b,29649 Mijas Costa

Playa Marina

La Cala

nk Li

az ag M

La Cala

a t os

Sat

N E P YS O A W D O UR N AT S

t os

Snack Attack Cafe - Bar

Due to popular demand Snack Attack is now open on Sundays 10am - 4pm for Breakfast, Lunch and our popular ROAST DINNER 2 courses for only 10 €

GREAT VALUE BREAKFAST ONLY 3.95€

Open from 7.30 for Quality Breakfast, Lunch and Sandwiches

LUNCH TIME SPECIALS (changes daily) KITCHEN NOW OPEN UNTIL 6PM Early EVENING TAPAS AVAilable

Everything available as take away for days out Why not take a baguette of your choice to the Local 26 Jardín Botánico, beach or airport? La Cala de Mijas NOW IN OUR 7 T H YEAR Tel: 952 493 184

On the Sunny Side of the Street

exáàtâÜtÇà tÇw gt~x Tãtç

cxzz

t os

C nk

Li Urb. El Pilar, Edif. Benapilar. Locales 8-10, Estepona. Exit Km 168 (Opposite the Crowne Plaza Hotel) Tel: 952 88 36 66

fxÜ|ÉâáÄç âÇ|Öâx Y|á{ tÇw V{|Ñ Üxáàtâ

We specialise in serving our customers the highest quality food, w service, large portions, good value and most i FROM SPRING OUR BEAUTIFUL GARDEN TERRACES ARE OPEN -

SIR ALAN SUGAR

THEO PHAPHITIS

GEORGE GRAHAM

LIZ DAWN

OFA BED & S SHOP

WE ARE THE CELEBRATIES CHOIC

zÉààçËá

`ÉÇ @ ftà IÑÅ@DDÑÅ VÄÉáxw fâÇwtç

t os

C nk

Li C/Jose de Espronceda, Edif. Mrc 7, Locale 32, ‘La Campana’, (opp. La Torre Andalucia Hotel) Nueva Andalucia, Marbella. Tel: 952 81 79 89

tâÜtÇàá @ à{x y|Çxáà ÉÇ à{x VÉáàt wxÄ fÉÄ

SHAYNE WARD

OICE FOR GREAT FISH AND CHIPS

d, whether you choose to eat in or take away. A friendly, efficient st important of all - GREAT COMFORT FOOD!!! N - TRENDY...BUZZY...ENJOYABLE. OUTDOOR EATING AT IT’S BEST

PAT RICE

e CASINO

San Pedro

CILLA BLACK

ALAN DAVIES

N340

Marbella

Choclate Cocktails... Chocolate Covered Cherry Cocktail.. .

Forget Easter Eggs these babies will give that bunny a run for his money

Ingredients

t os

Chilly Chocolate.. .

2 Shots Kahlúa

Chocolate Shavings

Dashes maraschino syrup

Whipped Cream

Chocolate-covered cherry

2 Shots of Tia Maria

Method

1 Shot Jamesons Irish Whisky 2 Shots Bailey's Irish Cream 2 Scoops chocolate ice cream

Method

2 Shots Bailey’s Irish Cream

HONG KONG

DESSERTS Coffee, Tea, Ice Cream, Cream Caramel or Fruit Main restaurant serving usual delicacies 6pm - 12pm

Jardin Botanico, Local 16, La Cala de Mijas. Tel: 952 599 236. Mob: 685 578 743

RICE AND NOODLES Special House Fried Rice, Boiled Rice or Noodles with Soya Bean Sprouts or Chips

Sisters Bar

Calahonda

MAIN COURSE Beef with Blackbean/Oyster/Chinese Mushroom and Bamboo/Curry or Chicken with Cashew Nuts/Sweet and Sour/Curry or Prawns with Vegetables or Sweet and Sour Fish (Hake)

La Cala

Spring Roll, Special Salad, Chicken and Sweetcorn/Tomato/Hot and Sour Soup or Spare Ribs.

All live sports and premiere league football. Six TV’s and big screen. Full menu, Sunday roast and homemade tapas. Large sun terrace. Open 10amlate, seven days a week. Upstairs Los Jarales.

SPECIAL LUNCHTIME MENU 12PM - 4PM STARTERS

CHI ESE RESTAURA T

Harrys Sports Bar

Los Jarales

Put all the ingredients into liquidiser except for the whipped cream & chocolate & give it a blast pour into a knickerbocker glory glass top with the whipped cream & sprinkle with chocolate

Fill a cocktail shaker half full of ice. Add 2 shots Bailey's, 2 shots Kahlúa and a few dashes maraschino syrup. Shake and strain over new ice in a long glass. Garnish with a chocolate-covered cherry.

Friendly family bar. Tasty homemade food. Value for money specials & tapas. Draught beer from 1€. All sports on large screen. Fun karaoke nights. The Strip, Calahonda Tel: 952 939 579

a FREE

Freshly Cooked New Menu. Warm Friendly Atmosphere.

BOTTLE ON OF WINE TION PRODUC D A OF THIS

Above Shenanigans, Beachside, Riviera del Sol

Tel: 952 935 039. Closed Tuesdays.

JJ’s Bar

SMALL FRIENDLY BAR

WITH LARGE SUNNY TERRACE AND FANTASTIC VIEWS OVER THE MED. LIVE SPORT FUN QUIZ NIGHTS - THURS MUSIC NIGHTS Avenida del Golf

Beachside, Riviera del Sol Tel: 952 935 676

Riviera del sol JJ’s Bar

Family Bar Internet Quizzes and Karaoke Live Entertainment Pool Tables Games Machines Open for Food Closed Tuesdays

RIVIERA DEL SOL

Great places to eat and drink in Riviera del Sol & Miraflores

the terrace.

t os

Beautiful panoramic sea and beach views from

Restaurant Review...

t os

Portside Cafe Bar & Cockles Seafood. Phone 672028226 Open Tuesday – Sunday 1000 – 1800 After a wonderful meal at Portside I felt I should pass my experience on to others. The Restaurant/Bar is situated in Fuengirola Port on the front line (marina) with lovely views from the terrace overlooking the Yachts moored directly in front. There is a wide selection of homemade English Fayre as well as English Seafood & traditional Pie and Mash. This includes All Day Breakfast’s, Homemade Chillies, Lasagne, Burgers and Homemade Chips, and much more, there is also a large Vegetarian selection available along with a Full Children’s menu, and deserts and not forgetting the daily specials & Traditional Sunday Roast. The Seafood Menu is also varied being top grade and shipped in direct from

Billingsgate including Jellied / Stewed Eels, Cockles, Whelks, Mussels, Dressed Crab and much more, you can also enjoy Authentic Pie and Mash + Liquer also shipped over direct from London, Being true Londoners we were keen to try the only Authentic Pie & Mash on the Coast, and a selection of the seafood, The dressed crab was to die for and the jellied eels, whelks and cockles were just as I remember as a child growing up around the East End. My husband thoroughly enjoyed his Pie and Mash and Liquer and said it was just as he expected it to be. Our Hosts, Mick and Mark were really nice guys they told us that they had recently amalgamated two restaurants, Cockles and Portside and are now enjoying a great reputation and many regular customers. After our experience we are sure to become two of their regulars! Cindy - Fuengirola

Papa Luigi

Riveria del Sol

Golden Sun

Traditional Italian food. Fresh pasta, wood burning pizza oven, Open every day 12 - 11. Riviera Commercial, Tel: 952 934 496

ADVERTISE YOUR BAR OR RESTAURANT HERE

Traditional Chinese Food. Takeaway menu. Special lunch menu only €6.95. Open 12.00-16.00 and 18.30-24.00 everyday. Riviera Commercial. Tel: 952 931 737

JUST GIVE US A CALL!

W h a t â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s O n

Your Entertainment Guide

Mondays -Bar

Karaoke - Fools bar. El Zoco, Calahonda.

Wednesdays

Indian & Chinease Night -The Far Isle, Authentic Indian or Chinese Cuisine.

Thursdays

Karaoke - Fools Bar, El Zoco, Calahonda. Karaoke - 9pm, Charleys Bar, Riviera del Sol. Quiz Night - JJâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bar, Riviera del Sol. Karaoke- Sisters Bar, The Strip, Calahonda. Quiz - 80â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Quiz. Sisters Bar, The Strip, Calahonda.

Saturdays

Sundays Sunday Roast & Live Music - Vista Del Mar. 1 till 6pm â&#x201A;Ź10.95 Plus live music. Live Entertainment - Mad Terry, from 5pm Shaggys, Fuengirola Port, Courtyard. Sunday Roast - 1pm - 10pm, The Far Isle, Riviera del Sol.

Fridays

Fish and Chip Night - The Far Isle, Riviera del Sol. Live Music - Bar Shenanigans, Riviera del Sol. Karaoke - Sister Bar. The Strip, Calahonda.

Tuesdays

t os

Live Sports, Quiz & Bing Shenanigans, Riviera del Sol.

Karaoke - â&#x20AC;&#x153;Paul the Bearâ&#x20AC;? Bar Shenanigans, 9.30pm Riviera del Sol.

ADVERTISE YOUR EVENTS! Call: 663 061 669

MADHATTERS

Next to Barclays Bank, Nueva Andalucia - Tel 951 279 080

t 0QFO EBZT B XFFL GPS CSFBLGBTU MVODI t &OHMJTI CSFBLGBTUT t )PNFNBEF UBLF BXBZ PWFO SFBEZ NFBMT t 0VUTJEF $BUFSJOH #VGGFUT

%BJMZ 4QFDJBMT )PNF .BEF $BLFT

#SJOH UIJT BEWFSU XJUI ZPV XIFO ZPV IBWF B 4VOEBZ 3PBTU ZPV XJMM SFDFJWF

Traditional Sunday Roast

DPVSTFT GPS UIF QSJDF PG 0GGFS POMZ WBMJE "QS +VO 49

t os

C nk

Li www.EASYMOVESPAIN.com

LOW COST - International

REMOVALS & STORAGE

£75

From

p/Cube

Call us for details on:

Spain - UK 646 669 640

952 375 899 DISCOUNTS ON SELECTED UK AREAS

Free - Insurance & Storage BEST FOR PRICE - BEST FOR SERVICE

t os

C nk

Li Find Us Behind OPEN COR Riviera Edif. El Saladito 2, BC 3, Urb.Riviera del Sol, 29649 Mijas Costa

Please Order 1 Hour Before For Our Best Service

Tuesday To Sunday 10am to 10pm

952 930 717

M Take Away

The Perils of Drink Driving... True Stories...

t os

A drunk driver was arrested in Germany after he accidentally rang the police instead of a breakdown service when he had a flat tyre. Before he realised who he was speaking to, the 31-year-old let it slip that he had no licence and was driving under the influence. The civil servant, who lost his licence eight years ago, had a blow out in the western town of Monheim while driving a car borrowed from a friend. He had a blood alcohol level that was seven times the legal limit, and when he tried to call the German equivalent of the AA he became confused and dialled the emergency number for the police. The drunken man phoned and said: "My car is broken and I need you to come and fix it. You better be quick because I'm really pret-

ty drunk and I don't have a licence so it wouldn't be good if the cops drove past." A Monheim police spokesman said: "He wanted us to come quickly, so we did." A Frenchman was arrested for drunk driving after taking his car to a police station to distribute Alcoholics Anonymous pamphlets there, police said Wednesday. Gendarmes in the eastern town of NeufBrisach smelt alcohol on the 56-year-old's breath when he arrived with the leaflets on Monday. They tested his blood and found it contained nearly double the permitted alcohol level. The man had a previous conviction for drunk driving, police said. Police confiscated his licence and released him after ordering him to appear in court in December, when he faces a maximum sentence of up to four years in jail and a fine of 9,000 euros

7HO

24 HOUR LOCKSMITHS

S ecurity Â&#x2021;/RFN 6DIH 2SHQLQJ 6HUYLFH Â&#x2021; /RFNV &KDQJHG Of Â&#x2021;3DWLRV :LQGRZV 6HFXUHG S pain &RQWDFW 'DUHQ

ZZZ VHFXULW\RIVSDLQ FRP

a t os C

nk Li

az ag M

Rules of Work... • Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.

• Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

• The last person that quit or was fired will be the one held responsible for everything that goes wrong - until the next person quits or is fired.

• The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

t os

• A pat on the back is only a few centimetres from a kick in the pants.

• You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

• Never ask two questions in a business letter. The reply will discuss the one you are least interested in, and say nothing about the other.

• When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

• If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it. • People are always available for work in the past tense. • If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done. • When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

• If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

• There is never enough time to do it right the first time, but there is always enough time to do it over.

• There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.

• You will always get the greatest recognition for the job you least like. • No one phones in sick on Wednesdays.

• The longer the title, the less important the job. • Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse.

• All holidays create problems, except for one's own. • Success is just a matter of luck, just ask any failure.

• Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing.

• Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a happy hour.

• Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."

• Mother said there would be days like this, but she never said there would be so many.

a t os C

nk Li

az ag M

ocal Info

t os

Central number for Fire, Police & Ambulance National Police Local Police Guardia Civil dica

112 091 092 062

Medical

Emergency 061 Ambulance Marbella 902 505 061 Ambulance Coin 952 453 267

nk Town Halls

Fire Brigade

86 56

952 771 442 952 822 818 952 822 818 952 467 457 952 785 252

Monday - Marbella (fairground site on east side) Tuesday - Fuengirola (fairground near Los Boliches) Wednesday - Estepona (Avda. Juan Carlos) La Cala - Feria ground Thursday - San Pedro (Recinto Ferial) Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama) Friday - Alhaurin el Grande (Bar Aquamania) Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano Pineda) La Cala - Feria ground. Sunday - Puerto Estepona

Diary Dates

Semana Santa is celebrated in Spain. Expect Many places to be shut for Easter Week. 2nd April - Good Friday 4th April - Easter Sunday 23rd April - St Georgeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day

if you would like to sponsor this page please call 663 061 669

Tourist Information

Taxis Marbella Taxis 952 774 488 Mijas Costa Taxis 952 476 593

300 108 373 383 442 590 891

24 hour chemist Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz Km 194. Marbella. Tel: 952 83 25 89

352 475 226 604 212 226 474

show films in English as well as Spanish. Call first to check what is showing that week. Marbella: Cinesur Plaza del Mar 952 766 941 La CaĂąada 902 333 231 Puerto Banus: Gran Marbella 952 810 077 Coin: La Trocha 951 315 039 Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221 622

952 952 952 952 952 952 952

All the Cinemas listed below

Chemists

Markets

Consulates

Marbella Coin Estepona Fuengirola San Pedro

Bus Stations Marbella 952 764 400 Coin 952 450 366 San Pedro 952 781 396 Estepona 952 800249 For a list of complete times www.andalucia.com/travel/bus

Marbella 952 761 100 San Pedro 952 453 020 La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208 Fuengirola 952 589 300 Estepona 952 801 100

Emergency number 080 Marbella 952 774 349 Estepona 952 804 483 Fuengirola 952 461 046 British Ireland Denmark Sweden Germany France U.S.A

Cinemas

Train Timetables 902 240 202 Airports Malaga 952 048 844 Gibraltar 956 773 026

Health Centres Marbella 952 769 946 Coin 952 452 767 San Pedro 952 787 700

(Marina)

Transport

Emergency Numbers

DRAIN & LEAK SOLUTIONS S.L.

t os

C a

High Pressure water jetting Drain tracing, C.C.T.V. Septic tank problems and installations Bath, sinks and toilets unblocked Leak detection and repairs

Fully Qualified, Fully Legal, No Call Out Fee.

Tel: 951 310 111

Mobile: 651 111 005

www.drainandleak.com

CLMÂŠ2008

Comic Genius...

t os

"It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'Aaaaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in." Tommy Cooper “Saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was Shout For Help. Mark Watson

My dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most of our family holidays in Customs. Patrick Monahan “Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.” Robin Williams

“Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself.” Charlie Chaplin “My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.” Ellen DeGeneres "I'm so unlucky that if I was to fall into a barrel of nipples I'd come out sucking my thumb." Freddie Starr. Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them. Lily Tomlin Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!” Billy Connelly.

“I want to die before my wife, and the reason is this: If it is true that when you die, your soul goes up to judgment, I don't want my wife up there ahead of me to tell them things.” Bill Cosby

can buy.” Steve Martin

“I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money

FUJITSU / GENERAL AIRCONDITIONING

FULLY INSTALLED

SPLITS FROM 550€ DUCTED FROM 2000€

From 1,000 euro

Solar Water Heating Fully Installed

3 YEARS GUARANTEE

Servicing and repairs all makes & models. Service contracts.

TEL: 666 087 496 EMAIL: econocool@hotmail.es 58

t os

C nk

Li LOCA LOCAL LOC CCAL AL & INTERNATI INTERNATIONAL INTERNATIO IIN NT NTTE TER EERN RN NAATIONAL TTIIION ON NAL A RREMOVALS AL REM RE EEMO MOVALS VVA LONG & SHORT SHORT TERM STORAGE STTORAGE Ca transport Car tra tr rans nsp spo por ort - oddd jobs job obs bs ONLYY 20 Euros per hour ONL h

David Da vid Fraser Fraser Pleasee call: +34 696 810 618

Do you need a han handyman? ndyman? ndyman? General Maintenance Main ntenance Painting/Decorating Painting/Dec corating Tiling T iling Fitting Kitchens K Flat Pack Assembly A Small Plumbing Repairs From Fuengirola to t Elvira Contact Dave on 660 026 875 Email jua-dsa@hotmail.com jua-dsa@hotm mail.com

davidfraser50@hotmail.co.uk da vidfraser50@hootmail.co.uk

Sign of the times... The British and the Irish Collide

t os

This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation between the British and the Irish, off the coast of Kerry, Oct 98. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-98:

IRISH: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South, to avoid a collision. BRITISH: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North, to avoid a collision. IRISH: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision. BRITISH: This is the Captain of a British navy ship. I say again,divert YOUR course. IRISH: Negative. I say again, You will have to divert YOUR course. BRITISH: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER HMS BRITIANNIA! THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE BRITISH ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I SAY AGAIN, THAT IS 15 DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTERMEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP. IRISH: We are a lighthouse. Your call.

a t os C

nk Li

az ag M

Puzzle It Out

Solutions on page 80

Quick Crossword

t os

C nk

Across 1. Concern (5) 4. Maxim (5) 7. Fruit (3) 8. Responded (7) 9. Chess piece (4) 10. Writer (6) 13. Sagacity (6)

14. 17. (7) 19. 20. 21.

Down 1. Thin biscuit (5) 2. Areas (7) 3. Tall story (4) 4. Counting device (6) 5. Perform (3) 6. Duck (5) 11. Short-tailed

burrowing rodent (7) 12. Aped (6) 13. Earnings (5) 15. Search and find (5) 16. Professional cook (4) 18. Uncooked (3)

Picture Puzzles

Leave out (4) Decorate food Beverage (3) Stitched (5) Travesty (5)

Sudoku

Can you spot the four differences?

M Mathematical Teaser

Say What You See... ALL ALL WORLD ALL ALL

At a cinema, the manager announces that a free ticket will be given to the first person in line whose birthday is the same as someone in line who has already bought a ticket. You have the option of getting in line at any time. Assuming that you don't know anyone else's birthday, and that birthdays are uniformly distributed throughout a 365 day year, what position in line gives you the best chance of being the first duplicate birthday?

K C AP

teleweb internet & telephone just got better!

t os

tion for someone who lives here full time. Do you have a wireless internet system that you are not happy with? Teleweb will convert you over to their service at no cost. What have you got to lose?

HAVE A UK No IN SPAIN!

teleweb – “Pay as you go” internet

Teleweb Internet & Telephone, has been providing wireless internet services since 2003, and in that time, has seen consistent growth and added new exciting services to its well established high speed 5GHz wireless internet service. FLEXIBILITY: Because you do not need a land line, you can have internet on a “Pay as you go” system. There are flexible solutions ranging from 1 hour to a permanent connec-

Teleweb offers a telephone system (without the need for a landline) with calls from 1.8c per minute. It is just like a Telefonica landline without the wires. No need to have your computer on to make and receive calls. Choose a telephone number from your home country or just elect to have a Malaga number. This system will work anywhere in the world with the same low call costs, you just need an internet connection. For more information on any of the above, please call Teleweb on 952 833 300 or Email: info@teleweb-marbella.

MOBILE CALL - 622 799 952 or 951 277 954

SERVICE AT YOUR OWN HOME OR WORKPLACE

TIO G PA NIN EA O CL ALS BLE A AIL AV

ONLY 10€ INSTEAD OF THE NORMAL PRICE OF 15€

CAR WASHING OR FULL VALET

CAR CLEANING SERVICES

Intro duct ory O ffer!! ! YOUR FIRST CAR WASH & INTERIOR CLEAN AT THE PRICE OF...

PREMIER

Strange but true...

t os

Strange Superstitions... •We all know that’s unlucky to walk under a ladder or a four leafed clover brings good luck, but did you know; •Cut your hair on Good Friday to prevent headaches in the year to come •For good luck throughout the year, wear new clothes on Easter. •Bats in the house are either a death or a sign that the humans will soon be leaving. •If your right ear itches, someone is speaking well of you. If your left ear itches, someone is speaking ill of you. •A bed changed on Friday will bring bad dreams. •To dream of a lizard is a sign that you have a secret enemy. •Sparrows carry the souls of the dead, it's unlucky to kill one.

•An onion cut in half and placed under the bed of a sick person will draw off fever and poisons. •A mirror should be covered during a thunderstorm because it attracts lightning. •The seventh son of a seventh son has magic powers, according to Irish folklore, but is a vampire in Romanian legend. •The devil can enter your body when you sneeze. Having someone say, "God bless you," drives the devil away. •If an owl hoots at the moment of childbirth, the child will have an unhappy life •If a pregnant woman sees a donkey the child will grow wise and well behaved •Women should not whistle, for it encourages evil spirits to visit them. More Strange Superstitions Next Month...

METACONA Manufacturers of ornate iron work

Aluminium doors and windows Mosquito screens Shower screens Electric shutters suppliers of scissor gates Stainless steEl welding and fabrications Toldos manual or electric cctv and smoke screen

Nave 8, Fase 3, Poligono La Vega, Camino Coin, Mijas Costa

Tel: 617 760 155 Email: metacona@hotmail.com 64

to advertise please call 663 061 669

a t os C

nk Li

az ag M

Business Focus...

t os

The right job at the right price – local to international. Simon Gee arrived in Spain in October 2002 and set up Simon Gee Transport, a hugely respected family business, based in Mijas. He has been in the removal business for 20 years, as well as 13 years in the TV/drama industry! If you are looking for a professional, reliable, efficient, experienced and careful company to handle your removal needs, look no further than Simon Gee Transport. Simon explains, “We have been professionally carrying out house removals here in Spain for the past seven years and provide a personal, family run service. Not necessarily unique but a lot of people prefer our personal service to the service provided by faceless companies only contactable by mobile phone.”Speciality Whether you want to move the contents of your home, or simply need a company to collect your Ikea purchase, call Simon now for a quote. Simon Gee Transport specialises in

transporting furniture as in the case of household removals, with delivery either locally, or country-to-country, to England, Ireland, Spain, Belgium, Holland, Italy, France, Portugal and even Madeira! All goods are insured for added piece of mind. Customer Base - The bulk of Simon’s Clients are private individuals and trade customers, such as furniture shops, food importers textile importers and exporters. Its customer base ranges from small to large and individuals from all walks of life. What they all have in common is that they all would like the right job at the right price. Pricing Structure Simon Gee Transport’s prices vary from individual items for businesses to full loads, delivered internationally at set prices, and hourly rates for local moves. For moves back to the UK, prices are calculated per cubic metre. Contact Info - Mobile Phone:661 544 077 Landline Number: 952 461 074Email: info@simongeetransport.com.

PARKER SOL PROPERTIES & COSTALETS C.I.F: B-92171388

C/ Sagitario 6, Jardines de Gamonal Blq 7, 29631 Arroyo de la Miel

t os

Tel: 952 56 39 39 / 636 829 631 www.costalet.com

IF YOU WISH TO BUY, SELL OR RENT LONG TERM FROM TORREMOLINOS TO ELVIRIA, CALL US NOW.

AREA SALES: CALL STEVE - 636 829 631

Beautiful! 178,000€

165,000€

Priced Below Value

ONLY 299,000€!

RIVIERA, PENTHOUSE

RIVIERA, SEMI-DETACHED

2 BED 2 BATH, STUNNING VIEWS 80M2 ROOF TERRACE + LARGE GARDEN 2 COM. POOLS & GARDEN PRIVATE PARKING & STORAGE

3 BEDS, 2 BATHS, GUEST TOILET, 3 TERRACES - BUILT BY A WELL KNOWN DEVELOPER - PRIVATE PARKING & GARDEN BEAUTIFUL COMMUNAL POOL & GARDEN

MIRAFLORES 2 BED

1 OF THE BEST URBANIZATIONS BEAUTIFUL LANDSCAPED GARDENS & POOL PRESENTED TO HIGHEST STANDARD PRICE INCL FREE GOLF FOR 1 YEAR

Only 69,000€!!!

95,000€

Great Price

75,000€, Bargain!!!

BENALMADENA COSTA

STUDIO, MINERVA COMPLEX, VIEWS OVER GARDENS & POOLS - SUNNY, AFTERNOON SUN TERRACE. SAT TV, 24HR RECEPTION BEAUTIFUL GARDENS & POOLS

1 BED, JUPITER COMPLEX, TOTALLY REFORMED, REFURBISHED, VERY NICE EQUIPED KITCHEN HIGH RENTAL POTENTIAL SAT TV, 24HR RECEPT GREAT GARDEN & POOLS

STUDIO, MINERVA COMPLEX TOTALLY REFORMED & REFURBISHED, WELL EQUIPPED. GREAT RENTAL POTENTIAL. SAT TV. 24h RECEPTION, SHOP, BEAUTIFUL LARGE GARDENS & POOLS

BENALMADENA COSTA

RIVIERA DEL SOL, 2B/2B 525€ PM MIRAFLORES, Luxury Penthouse: 900€ PM

MANY OTHERS PROPERTIES AVAILABLE. CALL FOR DETAILS. RENTALS MIJAS AREA RENTALS BENALMADENA AREA CALL STEVE: 636 829 631 CALL STEVE: 651 756 185

GAMONAL AREA STUDIOS 300€ PM ARROYO DE LA MIEL, 1 BED 400€ PM TORREQUEBRADA, 2 BEDS/”BATHS: 500€ PM

MANY OTHERS AVAILABLE

MOULD PROBLEMS Removed professionally on all surfaces

The NEW solution to mould treatment

t os

GUARANTEED mouldbustinginspain.com No job too small or large

Tel 610 121 398

We Use the Worlds most effective, long lasting, non toxic, anti microbial product available. We also offer:

Specialised anti mould painting &

Specialised ‘High Risk’ Area Sanitized Cleaning with unique continual anti microbial protection

BUILDING MAINTENANCE & REFURBISHMENT

Handmade Oak Doors & Windows, Carpentry & Joinery

Kitchens - Wardrobes Bathrooms - Tiling

Double Glazing - Carpentry Plumbing - Electrics

635 238 223

Wall Removal to Extensions

Fully installed & finished by time served tradesmen

Solid Core Composite Doors 20 Different Designs 12 Different Colours

Repairs & Maintenance

uPVC WINDOWS & DOORS

AT R

For a Reliable, Efficient & Friendly Service

678 962 588 or 617 992 644 Email: info@atrspain.com www.atrspain.com

t os

C nk

Li ag

TRUCK / SKIP HIRE & SAND / LOGS, ETC 6 Ton Tipper Truck

SKIP HIRE

t 5PQTPJM UVSG SPDLT TBOE FUD t .JOJ EJHHFST t 'MBJM )FEHF DVUUFS t 'VMMZ MJDFOTFE

670 510 800 */-"/% "3&"4

Lancashire Hotpot... One for St Georgeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s day... 100g dripping or butter 900g stewing lamb , cut into large chunks 3 lamb kidneys, sliced, fat removed 2 medium onions , chopped 4 carrots , peeled and sliced 25g plain flour 2 tsp Worcestershire sauce 500ml lamb or chicken stock 2 bay leaves 900g potatoes , peeled and sliced Method 1.Heat oven to 160C/fan 140C/gas 3. Heat some dripping or butter in a large shallow casserole dish, brown the lamb in batches, lift to a plate, then repeat with the kidneys.

t os

Ingredients

2.Fry the onions and carrots in the pan with a little more dripping until golden. Sprinkle over the flour, allow to cook for a couple of mins, shake over the Worcestershire sauce, pour in the stock, then bring to the boil. Stir in the meat and bay leaves, then turn off the heat. Arrange the sliced potatoes on top of the meat, then drizzle with a little more dripping. Cover, then place in the oven for about 1Â˝ hrs until the potatoes are cooked. 3.Remove the lid, brush the potatoes with a little more dripping, then turn the oven up to brown the potatoes, or finish under the grill for 5-8 mins until brown. Easy to Make Serves 4 Preparation Time 20 mins Cooking Time 1 hr 40 mins

a t os C

nk Li

az ag M

Love & Marriage...

t os

Maria was just married and, being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. "Don't worry, Maria," he mother said: "Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you." So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and said: "Mama, Mama, Tony has a big hairy chest." "Don't worry, Maria," the mother said: "All good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you." So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants, exposing his hairy legs. Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother: "Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he has hairy legs!" "Don't worry," her mother said: "All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and

he'll take good care of you." So up she went again. When she got up there, Tony took off his socks and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs: "Mama, Mama, Tony has a foot and a half!" "Stay here and stir the pasta," the mother said: "This is a job for Mama." The Vicar noticed the bride was distressed so asked what was wrong. She replied that she was awfully nervous and afraid she would not remember what to do. He told her that she only needed to remember 3 things. First the aisle, cos that is what you'll be walking down. Secondly, the alter because that is where you will arrive. Finally, remember hymn because that is a type of song we will sing during the service.While the bride was walking in step with the wedding march, family and friends of the groom were horrified to hear her repeating these three words.. Aisle, alter hymn (I'll alter him)!--

SEABREEZE

AND

COSTALINKMAGAZINEÂŠ2010

BLUE SKY

Property Management Maintenance Long & Short Term Rentals All Areas Covered All Refurbishments Undertaken Call for a free quotation - 952 587 465 or 665 560 443 Email - info@seabreezeandbluesky.com

Marion Hughes English Midwife

Ante Natal/PostNatal care and support. Baby Clinic Clinic: 952 780 540 Mob: 607 911 262 www.costadelsolmidwife.com marion@costadelsolmidwife.com www.marbellanannies.com

a t os C

nk Li

az ag M

Golf Tips And Tricks Releasing the Coil. By Mark Sibley of Miraflores Golf Academy

t os

Last month I talked about Coil and Release concentrating on the back swing to ensure you use it correctly, putting you in a fully coiled position at the top of your backswing swing to release all your power through the golf ball as you play a shot, now with the coil in place and the loaded sensation at the top of your backswing position this month is about how to release and achieve the most from it. As you have practiced the coil to load in the back swing I am sure you will have experienced a new sensation as you play a shot, it feels as if you put no effort into playing the ball with a light sensation and click as the club head makes contact, more important the ball flies longer and straighter, this is because the body has released from the coil finishing in the correct follow through position with perfect timing. The first job as you practice releasing the coil is to finish in the same follow through position each time, just think about it give yourself a finishing position for your body that you know must be the same every time you play a shot regardless of what club you have in your hand will give you far more chance to repeat. We will work on the lower body your objective is to finish each swing with your belt buckle facing the target and your back foot set to its toe knees on the same line and your weight transferred to the front foot.

slide, the turn is more powerful whipping the hip around the spine using it as an axel, as you practice the lower body movement try to make sure the right hip pushes left hip out of the way creating a turn of your hips that transfers your body weight within the width of your stance. In the picture you can see the use of an obstacle such as your golf bag will help you to develop the turn and recognize a slide when it appears, position the obstacle so that if you slide before turn you will touch it, make sure it will not obstruct the path of your club as you swing, then as you practice hold your finish position checking that you have transferred your weight and completed the turn. Work on the lower body release movement this month and should you require any further help or assistance with your game please contact me at the Academy , letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s get out there and lower that score.

MARK SIBLEY

PGA GOLF PROFESSIONAL

UK QUALIFIED 15 YEARS OF COACHING EXPERIENCE LESSONS FOR ALL LEVELS OF GOLFER BEGINNER TO PLAYING PROFESSIONAL LESSON PACKAGES AVAILABLE NOW BASED AT THE MIRAFLORES GOLF ACADEMY

NOW WITH FULLY STOCKED PROFESSIONAL SHOP

MIRAFLORES DRIVING RANGE & GOLF ACADEMY. S/N RIVIERA DEL SOL, 29649 MIJAS COSTA. TEL: 952 933 729 OR 678 833 736

It is important to make sure you have a turn of the hip in the downswing movement and not a

Golf Academy

Sponsored by Mark Sibley - Miraflores Golf Academy

t os

C WINTER 2010 1STFEB 2009 TO 31STMAY 2010

18 HOLES 9 HOLES

65.00 € 34.00 €

BUGGY BUGGY

45.50 €

BUGGY

25.00 € 12.50 €

TWLIGHT PRICES 17.50 €

GREEN FEE

E-Mail: caddymaster@santamariagolfclub.com Website: www.santamariagolfclub.com

M SANTA MARIA GOLF & COUNTRY CLUB Urb. Elviria, C.N.340 Km. 192 29604 Marbella (Malaga) Tel: 952 831 036 Fax: 952 834 797

Carâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s of the Future...

t os

C nk

Li in

Can you see yourself whizzing around in one of these in the future??? I wonder how long it will be before the N340 is sporting a turbine powered Peugeot.... 76

t os

C SG Transport

Local Removal Specialists National / Internationl Moves

Furniture Shop deliveries. Goods Insured 2 X 3.5t vans with tail lift Also IKEA collections

SATELLITE INSTALLATIONS

LOCAL 10, DOÃ&#x2018;A LOLA, OPP. EL ZOCO (CALAHONDA) TEL: 952 93 91 98 MOB: 607 383 578 EMAIL: reeceelectronics@yahoo.com

www.electriciancostadelsol.com

Daveâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Helpline

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The Computer Lifelineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;

5SBJOJOH t 1SPCMFN 4PMWJOH t 7JSVT 3FNPWBMt #BDLVQ t %BUB 3FDPWFSZ t 3FNPUF 4VQQPSU t .BJOUFOBODF t 1SPKFDUT $POTVMUBUJPO

www.reeceelectronics.tv

Call Ian - 650 15 15 69 email - electrician.in.spain@gmail.com

LET US TRY AND REPAIR IT FIRST REPAIRS TO ALL DIGIBOXES - SKY, SKY+ AND SKY HD. ALSO HARD DRIVE UPGRADES. DOUBLE YOUR SKY+ MEMORY

t Rewiring & Extra Sockets t Lighting t Water Pumps Supplied & Refurbished t Fault Finding etc...

LOCAL 10, DOÃ&#x2018;A LOLA, OPP. EL ZOCO (CALAHONDA) TEL: 952 93 91 98 MOB: 607 383 578 EMAIL: reeceelectronics@yahoo.com

16th Edition BS7671 Qualified Apprentice Trained 22 Years Experience

www.reeceelectronics.tv

SKY DIGIBOX REPAIRS DONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T JUST BUY A NEW DIGIBOX

ELECTRICIAN

SATELLITE, COMMUNITY, SURROUND SYSTEMS ETC. INSTALLED AND MAINTAINED T.V, VIDEO AND ELECTRONIC REPAIRS IN HOUSE. MOBILE PHONE SALES, SIMMS, TOP-UPS AND CALLING CARDS. WIRELESS INTERNET AND HOTSPOT

Contact Simon: 952 461 074 Mobile: 661 544 077 info@simongeetransport.com

5FM XXX EBWFTIFMQMJOF DPN i ZFBST PO UIF DPBTUw

Member

a t os C

nk Li

az ag M

t os

C nk

Li az

M in

)DP L 6SDF O\ %XVLQHVV Z L /DUJ RXV &ODVV 5R LWK H R :HQ ([WHUQDO 3OD\ P G $ \ ·V 1 UHD I DQW DV WLF IDFL XU VHU \ RI IHU V V PRQWK OLW\ WR FKLOG D V U Office WR \HDUV RI DHQ RI JH - 952 Mo

OPEN ALL YEAR Bi-Lingual (Spanish & English)

bile - 6 772 91 95 550 0 196

CAR STICKER WINNER

Puzzle It Out Solutions Solutions From Page 62

t os

Just Say What You See All Around the World Back Pack Picture Puzzles

106.1FM

Mathematical Teaser The position in line that gives you the best chance of being the first duplicate birthday is 20th.

Crossword Solution

THIS MONTH’S WINNING REGISTRATION NUMBER IS MA9762GE WHO WINS €200!!! Prizes must be claimed within 30 days of publication of this magazine. To claim your prize please call: 952 462 092

ATTENTION

costa link magazine

THE CAPTAINS RESTAURANT AQUACOSTA

663 061 669

Call Us For Our Rates

GREAT VALUE ADVERTISING

WILL NO LONGER ACCEPT ADVERTISING FROM THE FOLLOWING BUSINESSES OR INDIVIDUALS:

a t os C

nk Li

az ag M

T he Jokes page

page

t os

A man goes to the doctor's and says "Doctor, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside." The Doctor asks "How's that?" and the man says "Don't you start." What do you call James Bond in the bath? Bubble 07! Johnny, George, and Bert were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its hind end up in the air. Bert said, "I wish that was Sharon Stone." George echoed, "I wish it was Demi Moore." Johnny sighed, "I wish it was dark . . . " What colour is a hiccup? Burple! A rich lonely widow decided that she needed another man in her life so she placed an ad, which read something like this: RICH WIDOW LOOKING FOR MAN TO SHARE LIFE AND FORTUNE ...NEEDS TO HAVE THESE QUALIFICATIONS: 1) WON'T BEAT ME UP 2) WON'T RUN AWAY 3) HAS TO BE GREAT IN BED For several months, her phone rang off the hook, her doorbell was ringing constantly, she received tons of mail, etc., all to no avail: none seemed to match her qualifications. Then one day the doorbell rang yet again. She opened the door to find a man with no arms and no legs lying on the welcome mat. Perplexed, she asked, "Who are you? And what do you want?" "Hi," he said, " your search is over, for I'm the man of your dreams. I've got no arms so I can't beat you up and no legs so I can't run away." "Well, then," she said, "what makes you think that you're so great in bed?" To which he replied,.. "Well, I rang the doorbell, didn't I? What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!

A man came to work on Monday morning with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened. The man replied, “On Sunday, I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her butt crack, so I was trying to be nice and I pulled it out for her. Then, she turned around and punched me in the eye.”The boss asked, “Okay, so where did you get the other shiner?” “Well,” the man said, “I figured she didn’t want it out, so I pushed it back in.” KNOCK KNOCK Who's there? Cows Cows who? No they don't, they MOO! A man is out walking in New York city when he sees a little girl being chased by a fierce dog. He fights off the dog by hitting the dog’s head with a stick and saves the girl’s life. The girl’s mother rushes over to him: “Thank you so much for saving my little girl. You are a true hero. Tomorrow all the newspapers will have headlines about ‘Brave New Yorker Saves the Life of Young Girl”. “But I’m not a New Yorker,” the man says. “Oh, then it will say in all the newspapers Brave American Saves Life of Young Girl,” says the mother. “But I’m not an American neither,” the man says.“So, what are you then?” asks the mother.“I’m an Iranian,” the man replied p o l i t e l y. T h e next day he sees the newspaper headlines: “ I s l a m i c Extremist Kills American Dog.”

to advertise please call 663 061 669

S TA R S I GN S

A look at what's in store for you during April...

t os

You'll have plenty of busy days this month, thanks to three planets in Taurus, the hardest-working sign in the Star Business. They'll be passing through your house of love affairs. Capricorn Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think about work until the 25th, and then, somehow work will become fun!

Cancer

Aquarius

Leo

Mars has been on duty in your house of relationships for some time now, making every encounter exciting. If you have hurt someone recently, Mercury's retrograde on the 17th will give you three weeks to find a way to make it all right.

Pisces

You'll have a lot to say this month, and several planets in sturdy, nononsense Taurus will help you to get it all out. Most conversations will focus on the past. Say your piece, it's good to clear the air and let things go.

Virgo

Money issues may drive you crazy this month; you may have the possibility of a whole new change of job. Are you ready? It may be a simple raise, bonus or promotion, but also a whole new line of work. How exciting You are extremely fiery and passionate. Around the 3rd, 5th, and 25th, you'll be in the mood to take on just about anyone. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t let jealousy become an issue. Be sure not to spend your money frivolously around the 7th or 26th. If there's anything you've been putting off, regardless of the category, you'll need to take care of it between April 7th and July 21st or forever hold your peace. Use the three weeks from the 17th - to take care of unfinished business.

M Scorpio

Prepare yourself, for an extremely romantic month. Bringing back old memories of someone you used to care for. They're probably still thinking of you, too, but you won't know if you don't contact them. What results depends on you.

Gemini

Since you do love to make plans it may be that you won't be able to do what you want, you'll have to have Plan B ready in case anything goes wrong. Prepare, be ready, and you'll be able to do what you need.

Libra

Taurus

You may consider starting something new - and that's a great idea. Just don't sign anything you'll be bound to after the 17th, to be safe, don't make any promises after the 15th. Wait until May 10th to finalize arrangements.

You may need to figure out what's really been going on between you and a certain someone. They'll be just as fascinated as you, and if you're both single, you may become an item. Be sure you have solutions to old problems.

Aries

The Sun's passage through your sign will give you a boost of energy this month, turning you into a magnet for the attention of others. If you're attached, Mercury's retrograde will bring back good memories. Try to remember them all.

Your lover or your work? Both will want every moment of your time. Since there are 24 hours in a day, if you allow 8 hours for sleep, 8 for work, and 8 for play, you'll do just Sagittarius fine.

a t os C

nk Li

az ag M

a t os C

nk Li

az ag M

a t os C

nk Li

az ag M

a t os C

nk Li

az ag M

a t os C

nk Li

az ag M