August 2011 Costa Link Magazine

August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/22/11 10:26 AM Page 1

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Ed’s Note

Welcome to the New Look Edition of the Costa Link Magazine, We have decided to drag ourselves into the 21st century, and are really happy with the results! Other than the front cover, nothing changes, we are still packed with the Jokes, puzzles horoscopes, general entertainment and info that make us the most popular A5 Magazine on the Costa Del Sol and I hope you enjoy this edition as much as ever. It seems it holiday time again, the roads are busy, you can’t find a parking space anywhere and there’s the constant smell of sun cream in the air, did you realise how many friends you had before moving to Spain? – I didn’t! Having said that I love this time of year, there’s so much to see and do if you find time to relax, whether it’s a nice cool beer in the shade or a few hours lying in the sun. – That’s what August is all about! If you are in the Malaga area, don’t miss out on the Feria, from the 12th to the 21st of this month, it’s one of the best with something for everyone, including the street parties, the concerts and the bull fighting. On a serious note, ladies please see the article on page 75 with regard to breast screening, this is an excellent and necessary service offered by Positively Pink that could save your life. I would love to know what you think of the new cover, drop me a line at editor@costalinkmagazine.com com or tweet me @costa_link.

Keep well and don’t burn!

a Link!

Everyone Loves the Cost

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Contact Us Call: 663 061 669 Email:sales@costalinkmagazine.com Website: www.costalinkmagazine.com Skype: costalink.magazine Tweet: @costa_link Deposito Legal: MA-228-2007 Deadline Date: 18th of each month

No part of this publication, including layout, graphic design or pictures may be copied, SCANNED, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. Costa Link Magazine accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors. All rights reserved © 2011.

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to advertise in costa link magazine please call 663 061 669

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A W o m a n’ s W o r l d Insutls for Men Everywhere 1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX? (because they are plugged into a genius) 2. WHY DON’T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX? (they don’t have enough time) 3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG? (they don’t stop to ask directions) 4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock) 5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS? (so they won’t hump women’s legs at cocktail parties) 6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN? (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy) 7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN? (don’t know…..it’s never happened) 8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH? (because a vibrator can’t mow the lawn) 9. One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, ‘What setting do I use on the washing machine?’‘It depends,’ I replied. ‘What does it say on your shirt?’

He yelled back, ‘ Manchester City ..’And they say blondes are stupid…

ng!!! i h t y r e v e is e Attitud

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Spring - Summer Collection Now In

genius jeans Avda. del Mediterraneo 4, San Pedro de Alcรกntara (near Da Bruno Restaurant, opposite the Fishing Boat)

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l’s H o t l e s s Ru & y t Ka

Goss !

Trail separation…..Well who would have thought it just mere months ago Russell Brand and Katy Perry were over the moon about getting married, but now it seems their nine-month marriage is on the rocks. After months of speculation is seems that Katy has finally admitted in may be the end of the road for them. Things haven’t been looking good for Russell and Katy for the past few months but we are really saddened to hear this news – Katy has been saying to closed friends she’s “living like a single girl now”. In the last six months, it’s been calculated that the pair have only spent four days together!?!? And if that wasn’t enough, Russell has been seen holding hands with a blonde crewmember on the set of his new film Rock of Ages. Friend’s had hoped the pair were putting their lives back on track when they bought a £4.1 million Hollywood mansion last month. But the house is just going to be a base while Katy has a month off touring in December. Meanwhile Russell will stay in his New York apartment. This means the pair will be living 2,462 miles apart. Katy told her friend “We’re good together because we allow each other to do our own thing, but this situation has become so strained, it’s not ok any more.” Katy’s close friend has said “she has very old-fashioned values and is devastated that her marriage isn’t what she thought it would be”.

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Hot Goss !

e? n o y n could possibly be the scariest holiday of all time. e a Fresh fromThiswowing l b the Yanks in the ol’ US of A, Kate Middleton’s b a now got to continue the charm offensive and go on hols with her Scr

grandparents-in-law, AKA the Queen and Prince Philip. SCARY doesn’t even begin to cover it….

The Queen has invited Kate ’n’ Wills to holiday at their Balmoral estate in Scotland, where the royal family spends time every year during August and September. And the main reason for the invitation? For some quality Lizzie and Kate time. Royal author Ingrid Seward says, “This is quite an important visit for Kate because, believe it or not, the Queen does not really know her very well at all. "Kate has never had an invitation before to stay at Balmoral – but she is family now and the Queen wants to get to know her. It is an important visit in many ways, not least because the Queen will want Kate to meet all the staff, but because one day she will be responsible for them. The Queen needs to present Kate to Scotland. The time has come.” And what better way than drinking sherry and playing Scrabble* together in a castle in the highlands? More japes are expected – and a double whammy of in-laws – as Prince Charles and Camilla will also be visiting Balmoral during the summer, giving the newlyweds a chance to dish the dirt on their recent American and Canadian trips and to experience more of Prince Philip’s “wacky” jokes. Actually, that sounds pretty fun. Can they extend the invitation to us too?

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Girls night out Two friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails.

Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realised they both needed a wee.

They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her knickers, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing expensive underwear and didn't want to ruin it, she was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her knickers." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between her legs saying, “From all of guys at Bromley Fire Station, Well never forget It’s time to advertise in the you!”

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1) Who fronted the band “Culture Club”?

2) What does a bad workman always blame?

3) Which is more substantial, “Afternoon Tea” or “High Tea”?

4) In medicine what do the initials E N T mean?

5) In which soap would you find a garage known as “The Arches”?

6) What is an “Alto Cumulus”?

7) In which European country would you find Tuscany?

8) Name the busiest passenger ferry port in England?

9) What weapons are used in fencing?

10) What is the German word for “one”?

11) Which golfer Jack was nicknamed “The Golden Bear”?

12) In which Scottish City would you find Sauchiehall Street?

13) Which TV personality’s catchphrase is “Awright”?

14) Which musician was known as “Satchmo”?

15) Which royal was once married to Lord Snowden?

16) What do the initials MEP stand for?

17) In children’s television, what creature was Otis?

18) In which country would you find the pine scented wine “Retsina”?

19) What is Mozzarella?

20) In which country are Rhineland, Bavaria and Saxony?

21) Which Joan starred in “What ever happened to Baby Jane”?

22) Which part of your body does an orthodontist look after?

23) Is Sweden a Kingdom or a Republic?

24) What type of plant is associated with a viticulturist?

25) Which film contains the song “Hi Ho”?

26) For which country did Gavin Hastings play Rugby Union?

27) Which ice dance partnership performed to Ravel’s Bolero?

28) Which song contains the line “Feed the World”?

TRIVIA QUIZ

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Answers on page 86

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Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully, she explained, “It’s the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone.” Immediately, the husband drove to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the chemist told him, “Now, just a minute… listen to my side of it. This morning, the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up… So I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realise that I’d locked the house with both house and car keys in side and had to break a window to get my keys.” “Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket… Later, when I was about half way to the shop, I had a flat tyre.”

“When I finally got to the shop, lots of people were waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and serving these people. All the time, the phone was ringing off the hook.” He continued… “Then, I had to break a roll of 5 cent’s against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor… So I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the coins, and the phone was still ringing… When I came up I slammed my head onto the open till drawer, which made me stagger back against a display case of perfume bottles. Half of them hit the floor and broke.” Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and when I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. “And believe me Sir, as God is my witness… all I did was It’s time to advertise in the tell her where to put it!”

MAybe she’s A

blonde

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August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 5:30 PM Page 20

So a we, here are some of the funnies.....

Wenis: ARe yoU flAbbeRGAsTed Hullabaloo: Poppycock:

by The enGlIsh Discombobulate: Scuttlebutt: lAnGUAGe? Turophile:

The skin on the end of your elbow. Often confused with other body parts. commotion; a fuss: Foolish talk or nonsense.

To confuse or frustrate.

A nautical term meaning rumor or gossip.

Someone who really fancies cheese.

Boogle: Name given to a group or pack of weasels.

Nosegay: A small bunch of flowers, typically one that is sweet-scented.

Flabbergast: Surprise (someone) greatly; astonish.

Logorrhea: From the Greek "log" (word) and the Latin "orrhea" (to shoot forcefully out of an orafice) Hobbledehoy: An awkward, gawky youngster existing somewhere between a man and a boy.

Masticate: To chew (food) It really makes junior-high-age boys snigger when you say I hope you masticated at least thirty times at lunch today.

Effluvium: A disagreeable smell.

Nipperkin: An old unit of volume approximately equal to 1/8 of a pint.

Cocksure: Confident in an excessive or arrogant way. Seems awfully hard to use this word innocently these days.

Collywobbles: A feeling of fear or apprehension characterised by uneasiness in the belly.

Gobbledygook: A 20th century term used to describe nonsensical language like that used by government bureaucrats.

Gobsmacked: utterly astonished; astounded.

Claptrap: Describes pretentious nonsense designed for the sole purpose of provoking approval, i.e. clapping.

Insurance provider Activities Day trips Translations Real estate services Gifts Couriers Virtual office Car management and registration Legal, labour and tax consultancy Accounting Mailboxes Security and alarms Graphic and web design Business cards Posters Logos Transport & limo hire Bilingual support Weddings Blessings and event management Activities and wellness products Various classes and courses Engraving of promotional items Computer maintenance

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KIds Thoughts

about the sea Junior School Children writing about the sea

An accident

• This is a picture of an octopus. waiting to happen...

It has eight testicles.(Kelly age 6) • Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6) • If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent.(Wayne age 7) • Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend any more. (Kylie age 6) • My dad goes out in his boat, and comes back with crabs. (Emily Burniston age 5) • When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans.(William age 7) • I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6) • I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6) • Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting Electric eels can give you a shock.

They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7) • When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small.

(Kevin age 6) • Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8) • On holiday my Mum went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast.

She says she won't do it again because water shot up her lady bits. (Julie age 7).

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A M a n’s W o r l d A young man moved into a new apartment on his own, and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said,"Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming." He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?" Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears!" Astounded, and a little hurt she asked,"My ears?

Look at these breasts; they are full and 100% natural! I work out every day! My butt is firm and solid! Look at my skin-no blemishes anywhere! How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?" Clearing his throat, he stammered,"Outside, when you said you heard someone coming? That was me."

If Men Ruled the World When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the match, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during half-time.

• At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you'd jump out your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.

• Police, Camera, Action would be broadcast live, and you could phone in advice to the pursuing cops. Or to the crooks. Instead of a beer belly, you'd get beer biceps.

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Traveling pets.....

GREAT NEWS as of the 1st of January 2012 DEFRA have changed their rabies policy. It will now only be 21 days after the blood test not 6 months. Now there is absolutely NO excuse NOT to take your pets with you when you return home.... It will become cheaper and easier to travel abroad with pets when new rules are introduced at the start of next year.

Entry rules for pets entering the UK from the EU and listed non-EU countries: Main point to know All pets will still need to have a microchip & to be vaccinated against rabies.

Pets from the EU and listed non-EU countries such as the USA and Australia will no longer need a blood test and will only have to wait 21 days before they travel.

Pets from unlisted non-EU countries such as India, Brazil and South Africa will be able to enter the UK if they meet certain strict criteria to ensure they are protected against rabies, including a blood test and a three-month wait before they enter the UK. www.poshpetsspain.com or Call: 952 597 035.

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doctor fish, fish, nibble nibble The fish fish we use are original Garra Garra Rufa Rufa also known as doctor fish have fish fish or little dermatologists. dermatologists. Although these little Minnow size fish you immerse immerse your your feet feet no teeth, teeth, they certainly cer tainly have a big impact! When you dermatologists will get get to to work work intoo the warm int warm w water ater these curious little dermatologists rejuvenate and improve improve the overall overall health bbyy gently nibbling the skin to to rejuvenate healthy and glowing. All over over the of your your skin, leaving you you pampered, healthy taking advantage advantage of a world fish fish spas are springing up and people are taking work on unhealthy unhealthy or dead totally totally or organic ganic pedicure. The fish fish will only work healthyy skin is left skin, the health lef t untouched. untouched.

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Medical Tips

An Incorrect BiteCauses Pain T

he masticatory system is not just for chewing. An essential function of the masticatory system is stess management.

Especially at night but also during the day people react to stress by grinding and clenching of their teeth. When grinding and clenching enormous forces are released (up to 200 kg of pressure have been measured). These forces not only affect the teeth by grinding down the outer surfaces but also cause teeth to become loose. This can also affects the muscles of the jaws, the neck and the back.

The following symptoms could come from an ill fitting bite and grinding & clenching: • • • •

Facial Pain Headache and Migraine Neck- ,shoulder- and back pain Ringing in the ears, tinnitus and vertigo

What could be done?

A specialised dental surgeon has to examine the correlation of your jaws and your bite, to see how your teeth meet. Your bite has to conform to a specific pattern. If the nerve that controls the muscles of mastication shows that only the lower front teeth are in contact, it lowers the power of the masticatory muscles. That is what controls the power we need to bite an apple or to eat a piece of bread. With a correct bite high forces of clenching and grinding can not be developed.

So if your grinding and clenching is triggered by a false bite a specialist can make the necessary adjustments to the biting surfaces of your teeth.

If your daily stress (work, children, relationships) has triggered a grinding and clenching habit, the specialist would be able to put a splint with a front jig over your teeth to calm down and relax the masticatory muscles and the adjacent muscles of the neck and back.

Dr Gerhard Steinruck a Preferred Partner of “medilink” is a odontologist and Dental Surgeon specialising in cosmentic dentistry and dental implants . For more information on Dr Gerhard Steinruck or any of our other Preferred Partners call “medilink” on 952 93 38 76

34

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Are you fed up with trying to locate good, reliable and accurate information, unsure who to turn to when it comes to health and health related issues here on the Costa del Sol...

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Contact your English Agent, Susan Warner T: 951 272 124 M: 615 655 348 www.healthinsurance-spain.com info@healthinsurance-spain.com

August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 5:35 PM Page 36

My name is Bill. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Bonnie…

When I retired a few months ago, it became necessary for Bonnie to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.

Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don’t yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table.

I generally have lunch in the Men’s Grill at the club, so eating out is out of the question… I’m ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it’s not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won’t clean themselves… I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of her aging is complaining… For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take ‘em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won’t have to rush so much… I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn’t hurt her any (if you know what I mean)… I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She has to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I’m a fair man. I tell her to fix her self a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for awhile… And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Bonnie… I’m not saying that showing this much consideration is easy.

Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.

However, guys, even if you just use a just a little more tact and a little less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile… After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.

A Tragic retirement

story

Signed, Bill EDITOR’S NOTE Bill died suddenly on November 8, 2007 of a perforated rectum.

The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing and a sledge hammer laying nearby.

His wife, Bonnie was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 15 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Bill somehow, without looking, accidentally sat down on his own golf club.

36

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Hire a Motorhome And explore Spain & Europe as you like in comfort

weekly holidays or long term rentals yPet friendly! y LEFT HAND DRIVE Price Includes: yFully Comp Insurance yBreakdown Assistance yUnlimited Mileage ySPECIAL OFFER AUGUST & SEPTEMBER yWEEKLY RATES: y6 BERTH 1050ΰ, 4 BERTH 850ΰ &Žƌ ŵŽƌĞ ŝŶĨŽƌŵĂƟŽŶ Žƌ Ă ƋƵŽƚĞ͕ ƉůĞĂƐĞ ĐĂůů ŝŶ ĂŶĚ ƐĞĞ ƵƐ͕ or contact us at:

952 932 276 y 647 230 053 info@camperhirespain.com

August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 5:35 PM Page 40

ocal Info ---

Emergency Numbers

Central number for Fire, Police & Ambulance National Police Local Police Guardia Civil dica

112 091 092 062

Medical

Emergency 061 Ambulance Marbella 902 505 061 Ambulance Coin 952 453 267

Health Centres

Town Halls Marbella 952 761 100 San Pedro 952 453 020 La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208 Fuengirola 952 589 300 Estepona 952 801 100

Fire Brigade Emergency number 080 Marbella 952 774 349 Estepona 952 804 483 Fuengirola 952 461 046

Markets

Consulates 952 952 952 952 952 952 952

352 475 226 604 212 226 474

300 108 373 383 442 590 891

Tourist Information Marbella Coin Estepona Fuengirola San Pedro

86 40

Bus Stations Marbella 952 764 400 Coin 952 450 366 San Pedro 952 781 396 Estepona 952 800249 For a list of complete times www.andalucia.com/travel/bus Train Timetables 902 240 202 Airports Malaga 952 048 844 Gibraltar 956 773 026

Marbella 952 769 946 Coin 952 452 767 San Pedro 952 787 700

British Ireland Denmark Sweden Germany France U.S.A

Transport

952 771 442 952 822 818 952 822 818 952 467 457 952 785 252

Monday - Marbella (fairground site on east side) Tuesday - Fuengirola (fairground near Los Boliches) Wednesday - Estepona (Avda.

Juan Carlos) La Cala - Feria ground Thursday - San Pedro (Recinto Ferial) Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama) Friday - Alhaurin el Grande (Bar Aquamania) Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano Pineda) La Cala - Feria ground.

Sunday - Puerto Estepona

(Marina)

Cinemas

All the Cinemas listed below show films in English as well as Spanish. Call first to check what is showing that week.

Marbella: Cinesur Plaza del Mar 952 766 941 La Ca単ada 902 333 231 Puerto Banus: Gran Marbella 952 810 077 Coin: La Trocha 951 315 039 Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221 622

Chemists 24 hour chemist Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz Km 194. Marbella.

Tel: 952 83 25 89

Taxis Marbella Taxis 952 774 488 Mijas Costa Taxis 952 476 593

Diary Dates 12th - 21st Malaga Feria: During the feria de Malaga the city buzzes with colour and life.

15th August: Assumption.

Feast

of

30th August: Summer Bank Holiday (UK)

if you would like to sponsor this page please call 663 061 669

August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 5:43 PM Page 41

Fantastic Flat for Rental

Nueva Andalucia/Puerto Banus

A superb two bedroom ďŹ&#x201A;at in excellent order with AMAZING views over Puerto Banus and the bay of Marbella. 4th floor with lift or stair access.

With wonderful uninterrupted views of La Concha mountain over Nueva Andalucia the bay of Marbella and Puerto Banus. Two bedrooms - both with en suite bathrooms including showers, one bedroom has a private terrace to the back of the property. The lounge / dining room has a large corner window which makes the most of the view and then opens up onto the terrace. Fully fitted kitchen with granite worktops. There is a covered utility area. The urbanisation has three large swimming pools and very attractive gardens. This apartment comes fully furnished (with high quality furniture, plasma TV etc) and with a parking space. Fully air-conditioned (both hot and Cold).The urbanisation is just ten minutes walk from Puerto Banus and has many amenities very close by including Centro Plaza, many restaurants and shops. Only 950â&#x201A;Ź PCM (Available on a six month tenancy).

This apartment is a must see please call:

952 933 414 or 664 073 956 to make an appointment

August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 5:43 PM Page 42

What’s On

Guide

Wednesday 3rd August: Journey around the world Enjoy the taste of Santirini, Greece at Santiago Del Calvario, Alhaurin, tel 952 499 057 Friday 5th August: Be entertained by Vicky Jaye, singing the soul sounds of Aretha Franklin, Whitney Houston and many more at El Pariaso Country Club in Benalmara, Tel 952 883 799 Wednesday 10th August: Journey around the world Enjoy the taste of Saint Tropez at Santiago Del Calvario, Alhaurin, tel 952 499 057 Wednesday 10th August: Dave Lee – One third of The Rat Pack singing live at El Pariaso Country Club in Benalmara, Tel 952 883 799 Friday 12th August: Party Night with Ricky Lavazza at El Pariaso Country Club in Benalmara Just 30€ per head, Tel 952 883 799 Sunday 14th August: Sunday BBQ at El Pariaso Country Club in Benalmara , Relax, chill and be entertained by Peet Rothwell’s Michael Bubble tribute only 15€ per adult and 8€ for children, Tel 952 883 799 Wedsnesday 17th August: Journey around the world Enjoy the taste of The Bahamas at Santiago Del Calvario, Alhaurin, tel 952 499 057 Friday 19th August: Acoustic session with Maia Project at El Pariaso Country Club in Benalmara Tel 952 883 799 Sunday 21st August: Sunday BBQ at El Pariaso Country Club in Benalmara, be entertained by Vicky Jaye, singing the soul sounds of Aretha Franklin, Whitney Houston and many more,Tel 952 883 799 Wedsnesday 24th August: Journey around the world Enjoy the taste of The Seychelles at Santiago Del Calvario, Alhaurin, tel 952 499 057 Friday 26th August: The Fantastic Sarah Howard Acoustic Session at El Pariaso Country Club in Benalmara, only 30€ Tel 952 883 799 Sunday 28th August: Sunday BBQ at El Pariaso Country Club in Benalmara, Quincy Sax sets the mood! Tel 952 883 799 Wedsnesday 31st August: Journey around the world Enjoy the taste of Koh Samui at Santiago Del Calvario, Alhaurin, tel 952 499 057 Every Wednesday: Karaoke with Bazooo at Peppers, El Zoco, Calahonda.

Every Thursday: Clare Lloydy from Global FM singing live at Splash Club, Riviera, 8.00 to 10.00pm Tel 669 225 126.

Every Friday: Karaoke with Bazooo at Peppers, El Zoco, Calahonda.

Ever Friday: live singing with Mr Maphs Soulful Sounds at Splash Club, Riviera, 6.00pm to 8.00pm Tel 669 225 126 Every Saturday: Saturdays Just Got Sexy – Guest DJs and Funkalicious Pool Party, Party the day away from 12.00pm to 10.00pm at Splash Club, Riviera, Tel 669 225 126 Every Sunday: BBQ Sunday at Splash Club call 699 225 126 Every Sunday: Sunday Roast at Peppers, all home cooked food freshly prepared by Big Dave.

Bookings advised 952 931 593 or 627 188 778.

Every Sunday: Traditional Sunday lunch at Santiago del Calvario, Alhaurin, Roast beef, Lamb Pork, or chicken with fish and Vegetarian options available.

If you would like to list your events, days out or any else you have going on please contact us on: 663 061 669 or email editor@costalinkmagazine.com

42

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It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the local university. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 700 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail.

1/2 hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.

“You`re not going to have time to finish this,” the professor stated sarcastically as he handed the student a booklet.

“Yes I will,” replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing.

After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing.

1/2 hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.

“No you don`t, I`m not going to accept that. It`s late.”

The student looked incredulous and angry. “Do you know WHO I am?”

“No, as a matter of fact I don`t,” replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice.

“DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?” the student asked again.

“No, and I don`t care.” replied the professor with an air of superiority.

“Good,” replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of the room.

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August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 5:43 PM Page 45

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ADVANCE APPOINTMENT ADVANCE APPOINTMENTSS BOOK NOW FOR LATE LATE AFTERNOON / EEVENING VENING APPOINTMENT MOND AY TTOO MONDAY FRID FRIDAY A Y SO Y YOU OU CCAN AN FREE SPEND THE DDAY AY INTENSIVE HAIR MASK THE POOL A AT T TREATMENT TREA TMENT WITH BLOW EEVERY VERY BL OW DRY OR BEA CH BEACH OR CUT & BLOWDRY BL OWDRY

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August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 5:43 PM Page 46

Lower Back Pain: In most cases, lower back problems come from compacted or rotated lumbar vertebrae (lower back), that causes muscular contraction in the lower back and gluteus muscles. When the muscular contractions become acute, then it may trap the sciatic nerves that supply the legs from lumbar vertebrae L2. This causes these sensory nerves to ‘fire’, causing pain down the entire leg.

Though the root cause is the spine, it is the soft tissue i.e. muscles that trap the nerve causing the sciatic pain.

Well Being Releasing the soft tissues of the lower back will give relief from this problem, and with the proper stretching will ease pressure on the intervertebral discs, and may allow the lower spine to realign.

There are many different types of massage, ranging from the relaxing spa or salon massage, all the way up the ladder to clinical therapists that you would see similarly to seeing a doctor or chiropractor.

A clinical therapist should go through medical history with you, check for contraindications e.g. massage should not be done if you suffer from very high blood pressure, do a biomechanical assessment of the body, and formulate an individual treatment for the client.

It is worth remembering that the heart of the pain is not necessarily the heart of the problem! e.g. acute tension in the ankle tendons can cause lower back problems.

A good therapist will point you towards other clinicians e.g chiropractor, if he feels that the spine is in need of manual realignment.

Only allow professionals trained to manipulate the spine to actually do it!!! Is just as easy to cause damage as it is to heal it!

It seems that many doctors will now treat muscular problems with pain killers, anti-inflammatory drugs and corticosteroid injections. Taking prescribed medication should be the ‘last port of call’, though many still regard it as the first!

Here at the centre, consultations are free! If you feel that you need advice for your problem, don’t be afraid to ask! May you stay in the very best of health...Mike Izon

Health&

August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 5:43 PM Page 47

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FED UP WITH PRINTERS CHARGING STUPID PRICES FOR SIMPLE PRINTING JOBS? - BUY ONLINE NOW AT NDI3PRINTING.COM

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August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 5:43 PM Page 49

www.ndi3printing.com 2500 - A5 Flyers Double Sided €72.60 5000 - A5 Flyers Double Sided €104.20 1000 - Business Cards Double Sided €45.47 1000 - Three Folds 6 Sided Tripticos €123.16 GREAT ONLINE OFFERS sales@ndi3printing.com All prices include free delivery to anywhere in Spain.

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August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 5:43 PM Page 50

BAR & RESTAURANT

Guide.....

Wiki Waki Woo Ingredients

•1/2 oz. Vodka •1/2 oz. White rum •1/2 oz. 151 proof rum •1/2 oz. Tequila •1/2 oz. Triple sec •1 oz. Amaretto Di Saronno® •1 oz. Orange juice •1 oz. Pineapple juice •1 oz. Cranberry juice

Method

Combine all ingredients with ice and pour into hurricane or parfait glass, garnish with orange slice and cherry 50

August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 5:53 PM Page 51

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Jardin Botanico, Local 16, La Cala de Mijas.

Tel: 952 599 236.

Mob: 685 578 743

La Mir Mirage rage age Restaurant Resttaur au urrant & Spikes Bar

Lunch or Dine in style in our fabulous Restaurant overlooking the Golf Course excellent choice of menus and wines. Open every day of the year.

Live entertainment on Friday / Saturday evenings or

SPECIAL LUNCHTIME MENU 12PM - 4PM STARTERS ONLY â&#x201A;Ź6.90

Spring Roll, Special Salad, Chicken and Sweetcorn/Tomato/Hot and Sour Soup or Spare Ribs.

MAIN COURSE

Beef with Blackbean/Oyster/Chinese Mushroom and Bamboo/Curry or Chicken with Cashew Nuts/Sweet and Sour/Curry or Prawns with Vegetables or Sweet and Sour Fish (Hake)

RICE AND NOODLES

Relax on the sunny terrace of Spikes Bar. Breakfasts, snacks & daily specials available from 08:00 till late every day (from 09:00 on Sunday)

Special House Fried Rice, Boiled Rice or Noodles with Soya Bean Sprouts or Chips

Miraflores Mira aflorres Golf Go Gollff Club Clluub

Coffee, Tea, Ice Cream, Cream Caramel or Fruit Main restaurant serving usual delicacies 6pm - 12pm

Tel Tel (+34) 952 931 941

HONG KONG

Urbanizacion Riviera Del Sol, Mijas Costa, 29647 Malaga

Email: reservations@mirafloresgolfrestaurant.com W Website: ebsite: www www.miraflores-golf.com .miraflores-golf.com

DESSERTS

CHINESE RESTAURANT

August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 5:48 PM Page 53

RESTAURANT MIJAS PLAYA Fabulous midweek menu from €20 The new owner GIAN LUIGI invites midweek diners to complementary drinks between 6pm and 7pm.

LIVE ENTERTAINMENT 7 NIGHTS

Free Drinks New cocktail bar & chillout terrace Open from 1pm delicious light lunch menu of wraps and salads.

Between 1pm and 3pm only €1.50 for Wine, Small Beer, Tea, Coffee

Half Price Drinks Between 3pm and 6pm

Sunday brunch from only €20 euros €20 euro summer brunch enjoy as much food as you like. €50 euro all you can eat and drink Childrens menu from €7 euros

€50 all inclusive TO RESERVE A TABLE PLEASE CALL

952 493 749 “Special event packages available”

August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 5:49 PM Page 54

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Take Away

952 930 717 Tuesday To Sunday 10am to 10pm Please Order 1 Hour Before For Our Best Service

Find Us Behind OPEN COR Riviera Edif. El Saladito 2, BC 3, Urb.Riviera del Sol, 29649 Mijas Costa

Mama Nostra

Golden Sun

Traditional Italian food & grill. Fresh pasta, wood burning pizza oven, Open every day 12 - 11. Riviera Commercial, Tel: 952 934 496

Traditional Chinese Food. Takeaway menu.

Special lunch menu only â&#x201A;Ź6.95.

Open 12.00-16.00 and 18.30-24.00 everyday.

Riviera Commercial. Tel: 952 931 737

Advertise Your Bar or Restaurant HERE Call: 663 061 669

Harrys Sports Bar

All live sports and premiere league football. Six TVâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s and big screen. Full menu, Sunday roast and homemade tapas. Large sun terrace. Open 10amlate, seven days a week.

Upstairs Los Jarales, Calahonda

August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 5:50 PM Page 56

This page is printed upside down intentionally

August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 5:51 PM Page 57

RESTAURANTReview.....

Splash Club, Riviera My wife Sarah, and I have been to Splash Club a number of times during the day since it opened a few months ago, but had never eaten there in the evening – As it was Sarah’s birthday we decided to give it a go!

We chose a table outside by the pool which was perfect for a summer’s evening.

For my starter, I had the Tempura Prawns cooked in a snowflake batter, they were beautiful – so much flavour! Sarah had an Aromatic Crispy Duck Salad – Fantastic! To follow we had Splash Sea Bass which was tow fillets cooked to perfection, and the rack of BBQ ribs which just fell off the bone and was served with the most delicious Chunky Chips. We were so full and could only manage to share one dessert between us; we opted for the Mojito Cheesecake – which was exquisite to say the least!

Our Meal at Splash really made Sarah’s birthday, especially after the waiters and waitresses produced a strawberry daiquiri with candles in it along with a chorus of “Happy Birthday”.

Mike - Riviera A perfect evening in a perfect venue!

Splash Club, Riviera, Can be contacted on 669 225 126

Have you been to a restaurant and would like to see a review here?

Please send your review to editor@costalinkmagazine.com

Thapa Thapa Thai Thai Restaurante Restau Restaurante rante

Dine D i n e inside i n s i d e in i n llovely o ve ly surroundings s u rrou n di n g s or All Fresco o r eeat at A Fre s co Fr Port Vi e w s over o ve r tthe h e Po P o rtrt T Views and Mediterranean a n d the the M edit e rra n ea n

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August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 6:01 PM Page 62

Things you would never

know without the movies • During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

• When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

• If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade at any time of year.

• All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to the waist level on the man lying beside her.

• The Chief of Police will almost always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.

• All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.

• It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone to talk you down.

• The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place - noone will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.

• Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is their polar opposite.

• The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

• All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they are going to go off.

• If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition, even if you haven't been carrying any before now.

• You are very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

• Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language - a German accent will do.

• If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.

• A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

• When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

• Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

• If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

• Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.

• Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames. * All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

• A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK stadium.

• Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

• Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

• It is not necessary to hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.

• Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

• It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

• A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

• It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will patiently attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

• When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

• Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 6:01 PM Page 63

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August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 6:01 PM Page 64

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August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 6:01 PM Page 65

PARKER SOL PROPERTIES & COSTALETS Tel: 952 56 39 39 / 636 829 631 www.costalet.com C.I.F:­B-92171388

New Address: Minerva Complex (inside, at its back), 29630 Benalmádena Costa IF YOU WISH TO BUY, SELL OR RENT LONG TERM FROM TORREMOLINOS TO ELVIRIA, CALL US NOW.

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August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 6:02 PM Page 66

Strange but true...

W i l l l ov e s o ng s g i v e s h a r ks b a c k t h a t l o v i n g f e e l i n g ?

Aquarium bosses are playing the sounds of Barry White and Marvyn Gaye underwater to try and put a shark in the mood for love.

Zorro, a six-year-old zebra shark, had worn out his former tank mates at Sea Life Belgium. Hoping he would find new love, he was shipped to the Sea Life London Aquarium on Valentine's Day this year.

Paul Hale, curator at the aquarium hoped he would hook up with a single shark called Mazawabee, but so far their relationship has been strictly platonic.

To re-ignite Zorro's mojo, marine experts are trying to seduce the sharks with seductive music, such as Marvin Gaye's Let's Get It On. "Zorro has something of a reputation as a "ladies shark" and as Mazawabee has been 'single' for a number of years now, we really thought they would get together very quickly," says Paul Hale.

"But it's been months since their first introduction and although there are certainly signs that Zorro has been making advances, we would really have expected some serious mating by now."

"Research suggests that fish can not only hear music but can appreciate different tunes and melodies so we have decided to see if some good old fashioned love songs will get them in the mood!"

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August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 6:02 PM Page 67

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August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 6:02 PM Page 68

DID You Know.....

• The Hawaiian alphabet 13 letters, A, E, I, O, U, H, K, L, M, N, P, W, ' (which is called an okina).

• Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.

• The City with the most Rolls Royces per capita: Hong Kong.

• Average number of days a German goes without washing his underwear: 7.

• The youngest Pope was 11 years old.

• Iceland consumes more Coca-Cola per capita than any other nation.

• First novel ever written on a typewriter: "Tom Sawyer."

• Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. Spades-King David, Clubs--Alexander the Great, Hearts--Charlemagne and Diamonds--Julius Caesar.

• If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one leg front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all 4 legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

• Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th. The last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

• The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth 2, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

• The first airline, DELAG, was established on October 16, 1909, to carry passengers between German cities by Zeppelin airships. Up to November 1913, more than 34,000 people had used the service.

• Titanic was running at 22 knots when she hit the iceberg • The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; '7' was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces. 'UP' indicated the direction of the bubbles • Because radio waves travel at 186,000 miles per second and sound waves saunter at 700 miles per hour, a broadcast voice can be heard sooner 13,000 miles away than it can be heard at the back of the room in which it originated • Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know your there • The bagpipe was originally made from the whole skin of a dead sheep Inventor Samuel Colt patented his revolver in 1836.

• It has been recommended by dentists that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet (two meters) away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush!

• In ancient Rome it was considered a sign of leadership to be born with a crooked nose • It is possible to drown and not die. Technically the term 'drowning' refers to the process of taking water into the lungs, not to death caused by that process.

• The first known heart medicine was discovered in an English garden. In 1799, physician John Ferriar noted the effect of dried leaves of the common foxglove plant, digitalis purpurea, on heart action. Still used in heart medications, digitalis slows the pulse and increases the force of heart contractions and the amount of blood pumped per heartbeat.

68

August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 6:02 PM Page 69

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August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 6:02 PM Page 70

teleweb internet & telephone just got better! tion­for­someone­who­lives here­full­time.­ Do­ you­ have­ a­ wireless internet­ system­ that­ you are­ not­ happy­ with?

Teleweb­ will­ convert­ you over­ to­ their­ service­ at­ no cost.­What­have­you­got­to lose?

HAVE A UK No IN SPAIN!

teleweb – “Pay as you go” internet Teleweb­ Internet­ &­ Telephone,­ has­ been providing­ wireless­ internet­ services­ since 2003,­and­in­that­time,­has­seen­consistent growth­and­added­new­exciting­services­to its­ well­ established­ high­ speed­ 5GHz­ wireless­internet­service.­­ FLEXIBILITY: Because­ you­ do­ not­ need­ a land­line,­you­can­have­internet­on­a­“Pay­as you­go”­system.­There­are­flexible­solutions ranging­from­1­hour­to­a­permanent­connec-

Teleweb­offers­a­telephone system­ (without­ the­ need for­ a­ landline)­ with­ calls from­ 1.8c­ per­ minute.­ It­ is­ just­ like­ a Telefonica­ landline­ without­ the­ wires.­ No need­to­have­your­computer­on­to­make­and receive­ calls.­ Choose­ a­ telephone­ number from­your­home­country­or­just­elect­to­have a­ Malaga­ number.­ This­ system­ will­ work anywhere­in­the­world­with­the­same­low­call costs,­you­just­need­an­internet­connection.­ For­ more­ information­ on­ any­ of­ the­ above, please­ call Teleweb on­ 952­ 833­ 300­ or Email:­­info@teleweb-marbella.­

August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 6:03 PM Page 71

August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 6:03 PM Page 72

Puzzle It Out

Solutions on page 86

Crossword Across: 8. Greenish blue (4) 9. Orgy (10) 10. Highly seasoned fatty sausage (6) 11. In a similar manner (8) 12. Woodworking groove (4) 13. Blue collar (10) 17. A narrow fissure in rock (4) 18. A unit of magnetic flux density (5) 19. Indian music (4) 20. Imperil (10) 22. Musical staff symbol (4) 23. Wonderful (8) 27. A city in the Ukraine (6) 28. Strictly obeying the law (10) 29. Exploded star (4) Down: 1. Blue Sea (10) 2. Idler (8) 3. Manage (10) 4. Cain's brother (4) 5. Twilight (4) 6. Light rain (6) 7. Circle fragments (4) 14. A fish broth (5) 15. Old form of transportation (10) 16. Belligerent (10) 19. Deserter (8) 21. Outcast (6) 24. Pitcher (4) 25. In a willing manner (archaic) (4) 26. Large town (4)

Sudoku

Brain Teaser I am the owner of a pet shop. If I put in one canary per cage, I have one bird too many. If I put in two canaries per cage, I have one cage too many. How many cages and canaries do I have?

Say What You See...

JOBINJOB 72

horobod

August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 6:03 PM Page 73

August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 6:03 PM Page 74

What’s

News

Del Prado & Partners Solicitors

Del Prado & Partners Solicitors is a law firm that develops its activity in all of Andalucía. We have approximately 50 professionals and are structured into five different departments: Community Administration, PostSales, Fiscal, Reception and Translation and Legal. Within this last department, we have solicitors specialized in each and every branch of Law. This firm offers an integral consulting to all of our clients. Our best value is making our clients’ problems our own. Together with this, we combine tenacity with an intense preparation; this is where a great part of our success lies.

In our Justice system, it is not only important to be right but also fundamentally it is important that it can be proven. This is where we insist because our diplomatic work is very important in order to obtain a friendly agreement, which is beneficial to our client or if this is not possible, to obtain victory during the judicial procedure thanks to the best strategy and all our effort.

We can say that fundamentally this Firm has two goals: one is naturally the defence of each and every one of our clients and the second which is probably a little more ambitious is to contribute our grain of sand to the Administration of Justice so that Rights in the most ample sense are not just empty words but are something that can be believed in and that will have its repercussion in a judicial procedure.

WWW.DELPRADOANDPARTNERS-ES.COM Please see our ad on page 77

Non resident property tax If you own a property in Spain and you aren't a Spanish resident, there's an annual tax you have to pay, based on the value of the property. Don't confuse it with IBI or your council rates, this is another tax.

Some owners aren't even aware there is a tax to be paid, and others are paying their tax advisor’s a small fortune to make the annual payment on their behalf.

Now there's a solution!

Taxes on Line was set up by Ben Simkins, who is British, but who has been a tax advisor in Spain since 1993. He has lived in Spain since he was nine years old, and went through the Spanish education system, doing his degree at Tenerife University in The Canary Islands.

He's devised a simple solution, which uses technology to take the hassle, and therefore the cost, out of calculating and paying your annual return. Ben's web based system means you can fill in an on line form and your tax payment will then be calculated – he will then present your payment to the tac authorities and send you the payment receipt. The cost of the service is just €49 per property, and once you are registered with Taxes on Line, you'll receive a reminder every year, so you need never risk a fine for late payment.

You can find out much more, and even use the online calculator to find out how much tax you need to pay at www.spanishtaxform210.com 74

August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 6:03 PM Page 75

Positively Pink breast cancer charity based in Mijas have announced a summer campaign for 2011 providing free breast screening exams for British women living on the Costa del Sol. Lorraine Palmer the founder of the Positively Pink believes that "Early detection is your best protection," she urges all British woman over the age of 18 to take advantage of the free screening.

Last year Positively Pink funded the screening of nearly 1000 British women here on the Costa del Sol, this screening helped save the lives of 6 women. Amazingly these tests are free, although Positively Pink have asked this year that all ladies receiving the service would make a donation of the cost of their last bra (we at Costa Link think this is a small price to pay for such a fantastic service).

In the UK more than 45,000 new cases of breast cancer are diagnosed each year, and it is estimated that one in nine women will suffer from breast cancer at some time in their life. While breast cancer is the most common form of cancer in women, it is also one of the most treatable if detected early enough.

Positively Pink, is dedicated to early detection and education of breast cancer, the screening is being provided in collaboration with The Hospital Group, The British Surgical Clinic and Medilink Spain. Positively Pink and its sponsors are funding the 60,000â&#x201A;Ź budget for the scheme.

Appointments are available on Tuesdays and Thursdays during the months of July, August, September and October. Please call Clinica Medicare on: 952 835 776 for more information or to book an appointment.

August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 6:03 PM Page 76

FINANCIAL

Economic & Currency News...

SPAIN - STILL A CHEAP PLACE TO LIVE In July Mercer produced it's annual report on the cost of living in major cities worldwide. The report is designed to give expats an idea of how their income will stretch for every day living costs.

There are three main factors that effect the rankings : 1. The relative strength of weakness of the countries currency 2. Average price movements/inflation within the country.

3. Survey of an average 'cost of living basket' (as defined by Mercer) In 2011 there have been no changes at the top, Luanda in Angola is still considered the most expensive city for the second year running. Tokyo is in second position, and N'Djamena in Chad comes in third place. Only three European cities remain in the top 10, Moscow (4), Geneva (5) and Zurich (7). Expatriates in Spain will be pleased to know that Spain does not even feature in the top 50. Madrid is placed at number 60, which is down from 52 last year, making Spain relatively cheap when compared with other major nations.

Mercer also produced a 'quality of living' index, which is officially designed to allow employers to pay a hardship allowance to expatriate employees who may have to work in less favourable conditions. The index ranks Vienna, Zurich, and Geneva as the top countries in the world in terms of quality of living. Interestingly, although London is considered the 18th most expensive place to live in the world, it ranks only 39th in Quality of life. Whereas in Spain, Barcelona features 44th, and Madrid 48th in quality of living, but with a much lower comparative cost of living (60), making Spain apparently good value for money.

CURRENCIES

The quality of any expats life is very much dependent on their income. This can be affected by the currency exchange if they have income from abroad, for example UK pension schemes, or a business overseas. In July, the European Central Bank raised interest rates to 1.5% (from 1.25), in an attempt to cool inflation in the 17-nation Eurozone. Jean-Claude Trichet, the ECB President said that inflation at 2.7%, was likely to remain above the 2% target for some months. This had little effect on the exchange rate, as interest rate hikes are expected and priced in.

The Euro remains hostage to the EU decisions on the structure of the Greek bailout. At present there are few reasons for optimism that the EU will deliver a plan that draws a line under the Euro-zone debt crisis. Increasing Euro strength is achievable if the periphery concerns fade, but there are now significant challenges even if/when the money for Greece is found, and the market has now lost confidence in Spain and Italy, and this will take time to rebuild.

The chart below shows the rise in price of credit default swap prices, which is seen as an indicator of sovereign risk concerns. The higher the figure, the more likely analysts believe a government will default on their interest payments. It's a graphic indication of the increasing concern over Europe since 2009.

Spain is considered the 5th most attractive country for investors in Europe

Written by our financial expert James Alexander.

If you would like fully regulated independent financial advice please contact us â&#x20AC;&#x201C; sales@costalinkmagazine.com or on 663 061 669.

76

August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 6:03 PM Page 77

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The Cars

the star

78

With the recent release of Cars 2 and Transformers 3, we have been thinking about cars starring in films.

Here is a list of some of our favourites!!

Herbie is an, a character that is featured in several Disney motion pictures starting with the 1968 feature film The Love Bug. He has a mind of his own and is capable of driving himself, and is a serious contender in auto racing competitions.

Herbie is distinguished by red, white and blue racing stripes differ in each movie, a racing-style number "53" Chitty chitty bang bang was another car that had a mind of its own. It was actually based upon a series of racing cars designed by inventor Commander Caractacus Pott. In reality it was modified from a Mercedes chassis with a subsequent modified six cylinder engine. The original "hero" car, in a condition described as fully functional and roadgoing, was offered at auction in May 2011 by a California-based auction house. The car sold for around 500,000 Euros The DB5 is famous for being the first and most recognised James Bond car, It has been featured in several films, most notably Goldfinger, Thunderball, GoldenEye, Tomorrow Never Dies, and Casino Royale.

Bullitt contains one of the most exciting car chases in film history, the total time of the scene is 10 minutes and 53 seconds and Features Steve McQueen driving a Ford Mustang 390 GT dubbed in from a GT40 The 1967 film, The Graduate was a huge hit for Dustin Hoffman and for the Alfa Romeo Spider 1600. The car is a graduation present and features in many scenes throughout the film, finally running out of petrol before the excellent wedding scene at the end of the film.

The Italian Job has one of the epic car chases in British cinema history. Three Mini Coopers run amok in a long sequence that takes in the crowded streets of Turin (they created unauthorised traffic jams for cinematic effect during filming), churches, a weir, those underground sewers, the roof of Turin’s Fiat building and enthralling stunt driving into a moving lorry. The Italian Job has it all – And gave us the: The phrase “cliffhanger”

August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 6:03 PM Page 79

August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 6:03 PM Page 80

Golf Tips And Tricks Comfort Is Not Always Right Set up is without doubt 95% of your shot, the position you set your body and club into before you swing is what you have selected to return to when you strike the ball and if it is incorrect you will play a bad shot , if it remains in the wrong position before you start your swing and you fail to change leaving your body set out of position every time you play a shot you will without knowing change the way you swing to compensate bringing inconsistency into your play.

The road to repair is then a long one, you must first identify the fault in your set up and then find the compensation you have developed in your swing, this is where comfort becomes the golfers biggest enemy, your incorrect set up will feel comfortable as will the compensated swing you are using, the correct set up will feel uncomfortable and the correct swing awkward and ineffective.

Lets take an incorrect grip position you have been playing with your lower hand in a strong position and as a result you are restricting your club head release through impact to achieve a square club face at contact.

1. Change your grip position sit at home griping and un-gripping your club checking the right hand is in the correct position and getting a feeling for correct and incorrect, if you are unsure of the correct grip position go and see you local pro invest in 30 minutes of his time and get your grip into the correct position.

2. At this point there is every chance your old grip position will feel comfortable so check it each time you set up and if it is incorrect take your hands away and start again you must make the correct grip position the comfortable one, fiddling with your grip each time will still mean you still set it in the wrong position and will not cure the problem.

3. Once the grip is in its new position then you must correct the compensation in the swing, put your feet together and play a bucket of balls on the practice range concentrating on rotating your wrists through impact to give you a square club face as you strike the ball.

4. At the next practice session start with the feet together exercise for half of the practice bucket then move to a full swing still concentrating on the rotation of wrist through ball.

80

5. At the 3rd session work on your timing making sure the release of the wrist is the last thing to happen in the downswing ensuring that your are generating power from the core of your body and club head control from your wrist release.

That is just an example of how to deal with a set up fault and swing compensation that will give you a comfortable set up position and swing movement that are correct.

By Mark Sibley

Are You Selling or Looking for Used Golf Clubs then Contact Miraflores Golf Academy Tel:- 952939937 Email:-info@golfprofessionalservicesspain.com

MARK SIBLEY PGA GOLF PROFESSIONAL

UK QUALIFIED 15 YEARS OF COACHING EXPERIENCE LESSONS FOR ALL LEVELS OF GOLFER BEGINNER TO PLAYING PROFESSIONAL LESSON PACKAGES AVAILABLE NOW BASED AT THE MIRAFLORES GOLF ACADEMY NOW WITH FULLY STOCKED PROFESSIONAL SHOP MIRAFLORES DRIVING RANGE & GOLF ACADEMY. S/N RIVIERA DEL SOL, 29649 MIJAS COSTA. TEL: 952 933 729 OR 678 833 736

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August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 6:04 PM Page 81

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Limited Shares Available Available 2QO\ ¼ ,QFOXGHV 2QO\ ¼ ,QFOXGHV Â&#x2021; Share ownership Â&#x2021; Â&#x2021; )XOO SOD\LQJ ULJKWV IRU Â&#x2021; )XOO SOD\LQJ ULJKWV IRU Â&#x2021; Â&#x2021; Unlimited golf Â&#x2021; All legal fees Â&#x2021; 2UJDQLVHG VRFLDO FRPSHWLWLRQV Â&#x2021; 2UJDQLVHG VRFLDO FRPSHWLWLRQV Â&#x2021; 'LVFRXQWV LQ 5HVWDXUDQW %DU 6KRS Â&#x2021; 'LVFRXQWV LQ 5HVWDXUDQW %DU 6KRS Call Sonia now on 952 93 40 95

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K I D S â&#x20AC;&#x2C6;S T U F F

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These handsome fellows are Snickers and Saxon.

They are two young cross-breed brothers.

Both are male and have a lovely temperament.

FOUNDATION FOR ABANDONED AND MISTREATED ANIMALS F.A.M.A is a foundation set up and funded solely by voluntary contributions to provided an acceptable standard of life to the abandoned animals whilst in its care.

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August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 6:05 PM Page 86

Puzzle It Out Solutions

Just Say What You See

FromPages 16 & 72

Brain Teaser

In Between Jobs Robin Hood

1.UNDergroUND 2.I have three cages and four canaries

Crossword Solution

Trivia Quiz Answers 1) Boy George 2) His Tools 3) High Tea 4) Ear, Nose and Throat 5) Eastenders 6) Cloud 7) Italy 8) Dover 9) Swords 10) Ein 11) Nicklaus 12) Glasgow 13) Michael Barrymore 14) Louis Armstrong 15) Margaret 16) Member of the European Parliament 17) Aardvark 18) Greece 19) Cheese 20) Germany 21) Crawford 22) Teeth 23) Kingdom 24) Vines 25) Snow White and the 7 dwarfs 26) Scotland 27) Torvill & Dean 28) Do They Know Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Christmas

costa link magazine will no longer aceasycept advertising from the following businesses or individuals:

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ATTENTION 86

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The Jokes page

Jokes page

One day Mother was out and Dad was left in charge. The little daughter Daisy, only one and a half years old had been given little ‘tea set’ as a gift and it was one of her favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news and her brother was playing nearby in the living room when the sweet little girl brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, Mum arrived home. The Dad made Mum wait in the living room to watch the little girl bring him a cup of tea, because he said it was “just the cutest thing!” Mum waited, and sure enough, the little toddler comes down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and Mum stands and watches him drink it up. Then Mum says, “That really is very cute but did it not occur to you that the only place that Dasiy can reach to get water is the toilet?”

0 to 200 in 6 seconds Terry was in trouble.

He forgot his wedding anniversary.

His wife was really angry with him.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Terry has been missing since Friday.

home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.

Jimmie had married a woman from Canada. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better.

By the third day, his house was clean, he dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married an IRISH girl. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, laundry and ironing twice a week, lawns mowed, windows cleaned and hot meals on the table for every meal.

He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, just enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher, and call a handyman.

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.

Terry had married a woman from America, and bragged that he had told his wife she needed to do all the dishes and housework. He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came

88

Bless Mum, Dad, Nanna & Grandad and Tiddles the cat next door AMEN!

August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 6:05 PM Page 89

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S TA R S I GN S

A look at what's in store for you during August.....

Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

Aries

Taurus

Gemini

90

With all of the attention you are pouring into career, family, and personal matters, Capricorn, you could feel that a partnership is wanting. However, while you can't ignore your close relationships, your attention to career is especially important right now. New responsibilities and challenges come your way and you need to be on top of your game. Luckily, you are enjoying the limelight and finding that others are seeing you in a most positive, responsible, and competent light. Some of you could meet a love interest through business this month. Travel and educational plans might change unexpectedly after the 20th. Pay attention to details instead of rushing through instructions, applications, and other plans. In some cases, rethinking your plans might be in order. A flurry of activity around the 24th is likely, which could find you running around on errands. Try not to stress out and instead get everything back to order one step at a time.

It's not the strongest month for decision making, Aquarius. You might be leaving it up to a partner or good friend to take the lead for the time being. It's a time for rethinking and reviewing rather than moving forward with new plans and initiatives. Letting others take the spotlight seems to be your best bet. Your ruler, Uranus, is retrograding back into Pisces this month, and while symbolically this might point to a feeling of backtracking, it's more likely that you are looking back for the time being, rather than pushing forward. Exciting changes are on the horizon, and this is a good period for tidying up and getting in touch with what you truly want from your life. If you're interested, you'll find that it's easy to attract others to you, particularly with your unique opinions and personal philosophy. The urge to expand your mind through education or possibly travel is strong, opportunities to do so seem to be falling into your lap now.

For most of August, Pisces, the focus seems to be on other important people in your life. Your work assumes more importance and keeps you busy. The 9th brings excellent energy for starting fresh on the job. Financial matters can be a little stressful this month. Some of you could be feeling a pinch, particularly with a partner's income or other non-income sources of money.

There may be some power plays to deal with, especially around the 3rd, 16th, and 21st. Your passions run high, particularly around the 20th, when many of you enjoy a profound connection and deepening of ties with a special someone. After this date, some reticence in a partner could leave you feeling a little confused. A Full Moon in your sign occurs on the 24th, and emotions run high. A personal revelation can occur-something that has been brewing for some time and that finds expression now.

Relationships are dynamic this month, Aries. The need for structure in a partnership becomes clear, especially around the 8th. The 9th brings exciting new energy for romance and creativity. Make the most of this! Avoid shortcuts on the job, especially from the 20th, or you will definitely be redoing your work. Attraction to older or more mature partners is possible this month, as you reassess your relationship needs. Problems that have existed in a partnership come to light and need immediate attention. Partnerships may be on the competitive side this month, get matters out in the open quickly so that you can more easily find resolution. A past love may step forward around the 20th, but donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t make any rash decisionâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s over what they are asking at the moment. A secret is revealed or something hidden comes to light around the 24th.

Much of your attention is directed towards daily activities including work, fitness, and other routine matters this month, Taurus. There are competitive energies on the job, but also opportunities to truly smooth over differences. Love opportunities could arise through work or even at the gym around the 20th, but there may be a reason for your hesitancy. Enjoy yourself, but save major decisions for later. While love matters are generally strong in August, they are likely to give pause for review at a later date. From the 20th, a lover could be giving off mixed signals, or a romance could appear to be at a standstill. In fact, it's a good time to release any pressure you might have on your love life and step back to take a breather. Reassess matters and avoid a hectic pace. Home and family are also vying for your attention in August, and you happily tend to them, although work will keep you especially busy this month.

A love affair could become serious this month, Gemini. Perhaps there are ultimatums or the need to bring more definition to your love life. Once settled, you can enjoy spending time together. A creative project suddenly demands attention this month. You may be thinking of ways to make a business out of a hobby or creative pastime. August should be a highly creative, romantic, and playful month overall. The 20th could bring excitement in love, but also some hesitancy on your part. Your ruler, Mercury, turns retrograde at the same time, and you require more time to think things through than usual. Some problems on the home front need ironing out from the 20th forward. Domestic projects that you haven't tended to diligently could begin to show flaws. Exciting career matters come to light on the 24th.

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Cancer

Leo

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio

Sagittarius

This is an especially lively month for home and family, Cancer. Competitive energies on the domestic scene are likely. Responsibilities come to light, and the need for reorganization as well as increased structure to your household becomes apparent. Happily, you are in the mood for straightening out matters on the home front, and it feels good to have the energy to pay more attention to this important area of your life. Family interactions can certainly benefit from more clarity. Job or status changes continue to loom, but a sense of peace this month gives you a breather. Some of you are taking work home with you, where you feel a little more comfortable. August 9th could bring financial opportunities. Circumstances are such that you need to take charge of money matters now. August is certainly a good month for creating a budget. Get your paperwork sorted out before the 20th.

Making contact and getting in touch with others, learning, and teaching are all especially important matters to you this month, Leo. You're more communicative than usual, enjoying sharing your ideas and catching up with friends. You are interested in improving your skills and expanding your mind. Contact with others can help jumpstart your creativity this month. Some of you could meet a new love interest while taking part in classes, group discussions, communicating online, and other forms of networking.

Money requires extra attention from the 20th. Avoid taking shortcuts with your finances after this date.

Go over everything carefully before making large purchases and other important financial decisions.

Waiting for a later date might be best, because you could find that the urge to splurge passes. The 9th brings fresh energy and a go-ahead for personal projects. It's your New Moon, and it's time to bring on a whole new and fresh attitude to life.

August is a strong period for reviewing the past year and aiming to put the past behind you, Virgo.

It's not the time for major decision-making or goal setting, but good for ridding yourself of problems that have been weighing you down. Pay attention to your intuition and even your dreams.

Next month, you can make a new start. Financial matters are of concern in August, but money is coming in and going out in perhaps equal quantity. As such, although there are ups and downs, you end the month on even ground. You're able to come up with some especially creative moneymaking ideas this month From the 20th and until September 12th, your ruler, Mercury, is retrograde. This points to a period of natural withdrawal on some level. It's a good time to take in rather than push forward with new plans. The 24th brings a partnership matter to light. Pay special attention to what a partner or close friend has to say.

August is a month of much social activity for you, Libra. The 20th brings particularly good energy for love. Although there is a competitive feel to your relationships, this only serves to energize you and to keep love stimulating. New responsibilities are coming to light and you are ready to take charge. In fact, you are especially assertive this month, but at the same time, blessed with the ability to go after what you want without ruffling anyone's feathers. You have just the right combination of natural charm and confidence this month that others can't help but take notice. While the month promises to be pleasurable in many ways, Saturn is solidly back in your sign, reminding you of your responsibilities and the need to structure your life. Do whatever you can to straighten out your life and discipline yourself. Avoiding responsibilities and cutting corners will not serve you well. Work or health matters that have been brewing come to light around the 24th.

While career matters are very busy and dynamic this month, Scorpio, your personal life is also rich. A private romance is possible, or an awakening of feelings about a past relationship occurs this month. You are taking charge on the job, and while changes in duties and responsibilities are still looming, you are feeling good about your position. Work is competitive, but you might find that it's more stimulating this way and pushing you to work more creatively. Power games are no fun, however, and these should be avoided as much as possible. Be especially mindful of your communications with friends and groups this month, as something said (or not said) could come back to haunt you after the 20th. From the 23rd forward, there is more focus on your social life and less on responsibilities and work. The 24th brings great creative energy, as well as the possibility of a blooming romance.

Competitive energies with associates and friends are likely in August, Sagittarius. These can be pleasant or disconcerting, sometimes both at once, but certainly stimulating. Friends are likely to turn to you for advice, and you could easily find yourself in the middle! Some of you might begin a new love relationship through a friend or networking efforts. Financial matters, particularly money earned from business, can be tense for the time being, although changes taking place now are likely to bring you to a much better place at a later date. Until the 23rd, you are feeling especially adventurous and philosophical. An energy boost has you thinking of breaking the routine and expanding your experiences. From the 23rd, career matters and responsibilities come into focus. If you've cut any corners in work projects recently, these will probably come back for review and redoing. The 24th can bring family and home matters to your attention.

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