Costa Link Magazine August 2014

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August 2014 N°89

The worst kept secret on the Costa del Sol

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Computer Computer Problems?

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Business Directory Puzzles & Quizzes What’s On Guide Horoscopes Local Info Kids Page Jokes

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Well, what a month July has been… With all the visitors, (I am starting to feel that I run a B&B) the kids are off school and seem to be everywhere and don’t get me started on the holidaymakers driving ability… I am now looking forward to a more relaxing August. Well that’s the plan anyway! What made it all seem that bit harder was slogging away trying to work in this heat whilst being able to see people relaxing by the pool or lazing on the beach. I soon consoled myself though by realising that most of these afore mentioned people were not deliberately rubbing my nose in it, (well I don’t think they were) they were simply on holiday and I would soon get my revenge by watching them loading their suitcases into the back of a cab and returning to the dull and rainy UK. That thought made me feel much better!

August is Malaga Feria season, one of Andulucia’s best where during the days the city centre is transformed with people dressed in typical costume and plenty of food and drink is available. In the evenings there are nights dedicated to flamenco dance and music, the port is lit up by a firework display and of course there is the huge fair to enjoy. This year the feria runs from the 16th-23rd August.

Keep cool, and enjoy this month’s issue!

in the August magazine

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Medical Section... With our stethoscopes at the ready, tips from medical professionals and details about dentists an all round MOT/ITV for the body from page 34.

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A Man’s World: It’s a lad zone funnies that only us blokes get!

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Car Page... This month we are at the beach. Fed up of carrying bucket and spades towels & suncream? We may have the answer...

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What’s On Guide... Too hot for the beach? The Malaga Feria is on this month. Fantastic concerts are also on under the Starlite plus much, much more.

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Solutions on page 80 Puzzle It Out... Puzzles galore challenge those little grey cells.

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Kids Page... Maze madness plus other games to keep you busy see page 74.

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Business Directory... Can’t find that all important contact information see page 76.

Like Us

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Solutions on page 80 Trivia Quiz... Pit your brains against the TRIVIA QUIZ, questions for all ages 6 -116!

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The Jokes Page: Laugh out loud, we did! Get some giggles in on page 72!!!

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Women’s World: Women from Venus Men from Mars we see the differences...

Call: 951 216 131 or 663 061 669

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Website: www.costalinkmagazine.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/costa.link.spain Whatapp: 663 061 669 Tweet: @costa_link 6

No part of this publication, including layout, graphic design or pictures may be copied, SCANNED, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. Costa Link Magazine accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors. All rights reserved © 2014.

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A Woman’s World ONE STEP AHEAD...

A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband - who was a big burly man tossed his trousers to his new bride and said.....

"Here, put these on."

She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I cant wear your trousers," she said.

"That's right, said the husband, "and don't you ever forget it. I'm the man who wears the trousers in this family."

With that she flipped him her knickers and said, "Try these on."

He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps. "Hell," he said. I cant get into your knickers!"

She replied, "That's right, and that's the way its going to stay until your attitude changes."

ALL IN ONE OR A BIKINI???

While shopping for our up coming holiday essentials, my husband and I passed a display of swimming costumes. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a swimming costume, so I sought my husband's advice.

'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'

'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.'

He's still in intensive care.

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HOT GOSS!

50 SHADES OF HOT… IT'S HERE! The trailer for Fifty Shades of Grey is finally here and even though we wanted to be really let down by it: it’s amazing.

Jamie Dornan is SO hot as Christian Grey, which we always knew he would be.

Good suits, intense eyes… and he’s been working out. We’re very interested in seeing more of these naked scenes. Dakota Johnson is the exact Anastacia Steele we pictured. Terrible clothes, bags under her eyes! It looks like the lift gets QUITE a lot of sex-action. It’s out on Valentine’s Day next year, so that’s only seven months to wait. We can’t wait to find out how annoyed our boyfriends will be to spend 14th February in a cinema with a load of over-excited girls…

TOWIE STARS TOLD TO BE ON BEST BEHAVIOUR… The TOWIE cast are heading to party hotspot Ibiza for the launch of the next series. But only if they can behave themselves…TOWIE bosses have told the stars that they have to go easy on the booze and definitely steer well clear of drugs. We’re looking at you, Mario Falcone and James Locke (both recently got in trouble for being involved in drug scandals, you see…) The series will be the first to air on new ITV channel ITVBe. SURPRISINGLY RICH…Children's TV host Neil Buchanan, 52, from CITV's Art Attack is worth £5 million after selling production company The Media Merchants in the 90s - it's possibly why you no longer see him sticking bits of pasta to cardboard. The Hairy Bikers David Myers, 56, and Simon King, 46 - made around £2.5 million in 2011 alone. Brit stars are making serious cash in the US. Damian Lewis, 43, picked up £47k per Homeland episode, while Andrew Lincoln, 40, earns £25k for each episode of zombie show The Walking Dead. In 2008, Phillip Schofield, 52, made £49,000 an hour hosting Dancing On Ice. David Walliams 42, has made £13 million from writing five books for children - part of his £22 million fortune.

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HOT GOSS!

KATIE PRICE NAMED BIGGEST CELEBRITY FASHION FAIL OF THE DECADE. BUT WHO ELSE MADE IT ON THE LIST… It may or may not come as a surprise to you that Katie Price and this rainbow-inspired ensemble have been awarded Biggest Celebrity Fashion Fail Of The Decade. In a recent survey

by ECigarette.co.uk, nearly a quarter of all voters names Katie's crazy look as the worst of the past 10 years. Also on the list... In second place is Lady Gaga's meat dress followed by Kim Kardashian's not-so-flattering floral number with 15 per cent, her hubby Kayne West was also on the list with his leather trousers (fingers crossed he talced first)...!

WHY DIDN'T CHERYL COLE SIGN A PRENUP BEFORE MARRYING JEAN-BERNARD FERNANDEZ-VERSINI? For Cheryl Cole, marriage is about the heart, not the head. She's reportedly refused to sign a prenup to protect her £16 million fortune and has even told her new man Jean-Bernard Fernandez-Versini that he'll never have to work again, according to his friend Franck.

It means things could get pretty messy if their marriage ends in heartbreak. However, the new Mrs F-V's never hidden her dislike for prenup contracts, refusing to sign one when she married Ashley Cole in 2006, too. But we all know how that ended...

TULISA CONTOSTAVLOS FOUND GUILTY OF ASSAULT… Former X Factor judge Tulisa Contostavlos has been found guilty of assaulting blogger Savvas Morgan at last year’s V Festival. She has been ordered to pay fines and costs of £3,020. In a statement made outside the court at lunchtime, Tulisa confirmed she would be appealing the decision. The singer – whose drugs charges trial collapsed last month y after a judge found undercover reporter Mazher Mahmood to be lying in court – was found guilty of hitting the blogger during an altercation at V Festival in Chelmsford last August.

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Chewing gum...

An Australian man was having a coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him.

The Australian politely ignored the American, who, nevertheless started up a conversation.

The American snapped his gum and said, 'You Australian folk eat the whole bread?'

The Australian frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, 'of course.'

The American blew a huge bubble. 'We don't. In the States, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle them, transform them into croissants and sell them to Australia.’ The American had a smirk on his face. The Australian listened in silence.

The American persisted, 'D'ya eat jam with your bread?' Sighing, the Australian replied, 'of course.'

Cracking his gum between his teeth, the American said, 'we don't. In the States, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds and the leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell it to Australia.

The Australian then asked, 'Do you have sex in the States?'

The American smiled and said 'Why of course we do.' The Australian leaned closer to him and asked, 'And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?' 'We throw them away, of course!'

Now it was the Australians turn to smile.

'We don't. In Australia, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to the United States. Why do you think it's called Wrigley's?

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GET OUT OF THE CAR (This is supposedly a true account recorded in the Police Log the incident happened in Sarasota, Florida) An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it!

Get out of the car!" The four men didn't wait for a second threat. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then she realised why. It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee, and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat. A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the desk, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed.

Moral of the story? If you're going to have a senior moment...make it memorable.

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TRIVIA QUIZ

1) On which racecourse is the Grand National run?

2) Which arm did Nelson lose in service?

3) On a dartboard, which number is directly opposite 1?

4) Which is the first animal in the dictionary?

5) Who hosts Britain’s got talent?

6) The title of which Shakespeare play is also a proverb?

7) Which nationality Cheryl Cole’s new husband?

8) How many children were in Enid Blyton’s Famous Five?

9)Which team won the 2014 football World Cup? 10) On which day of the week are British elections held?

11) If it rains on St Swithens Day, how many more days is it supposed to rain?

12) How many US Presidents are carved into Mt Rushmore?

13) From which Andrew Lloyd

Webber musical does the song ‘Memory’ come from?

14) What honour have Theodore Roosevelt, Martin Luther King, the Dalai Lama and Nelson Mandela all received?

15) Who are Aramis, Porthos and Athos better known as?

16) What comes in the following forms, compound, simple and impacted?

17) Name 2 of the 3 African countries that begin with the letter Z? 18) Valletta is the capital of which Mediterranean Island?

19) Which fictional detective lives in St Mary Mead?

20) Which organisation has the motto Fidelity, Bravery and Integrity?

21) How did Vincent Van Gogh commit suicide – did he overdose on drugs, hang himself or shoot himself?

22)What is the last letter of the Greek alphabet?

23)Who had a number one hit with ‘Careless Whisper’?

24)Who produces a car called the kuga?

25) On which wedding anniversary do you give lace – 9, 11 or 13?

26) A leveret is the young of which animal?

27) What is the average human body temperature, in degrees Celsius – 35, 37 or 39?

28) Which of the Bronté sisters wrote ‘Wuthering Heights’?

29) Which planet is nearest the sun?

30) Which musical word is an anagram of ‘carthorse’?

Answers on page 80

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SNIFFER DOG...

A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador retriever between them.

The first man asked why the dog was allowed on the plane. The second man explained that he was a DEA agent and that the dog was a sniffing dog. "His name is Sniffer, and he's the best there is," he said. "I'll show you once we get airborne when I put him to work."

The plane took off, and once it had leveled out, the agent said, "Watch this." He told Sniffer to "search."

Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds. Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the agent's arm. The agent said, "Good boy." He turned to the other man and said, "That woman is in possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of her seat number. The authorities will apprehend her when we land."

"Say, that's pretty neat," replied the first man. Once again, the agent sent Sniffer to search the aisles. The Lab sniffed about, sat down beside a man for a few seconds, returned to his seat and placed two paws on the agent's arm. The agent said, "That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making a note of his seat number for the police."

The agent then told Sniffer to search again. Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for a moment, and then came racing back to the agent. He jumped into the middle seat and proceeded to poop all over the place. The first man was really disgusted by this behavior and couldn't figure out why a welltrained dog would act like that, so he asked the agent, "What's going on?"

The agent nervously replied.............

"He just found a bomb!"

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Courtroom drama...

There must have been some giggles in these courtrooms. Judge Judy eat your heart out‌These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan!

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?

WITNESS: July 18th.

ATTORNEY: What year?

WITNESS: Every year.

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?

WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?

WITNESS: Forty-five years.

Continued on page 30...

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Courtroom drama con’t

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Are you kiddding me?

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget..

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death..

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

WITNESS: Oral...

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Medical Tips

What is “Massage Therapy”?

Massage is one of the oldest forms of healing. Chinese records dating back 3000 years document its use. The ancient Hindus, Japanese, Persians and Egyptians applied various forms of massage for different ailments. Hippocrates, the father of modern medicine, born in 460 BC wrote papers recommending the use of rubbing and friction for joint and circulatory problems.

Massage therapy is the manual manipulation of soft body tissues (muscle, connective tissue, tendons and ligaments) to enhance a person’s health and wellbeing.

There are many theories about how massage may affect the body. The ‘gate control theory’ suggests that massage may provide stimulation that helps to block the pain signals sent to the brain.

Other theories suggest that massage might stimulate and release certain chemicals in the body such as serotonin or endorphins. But what we do know, from various client testimonials, is that massage helps to relieve tension and pain, increases flexibility and mobility, and helps to clear lactic acid and other waste products, which in turn reduces pain and stiffness in the muscles and joints.

People choose to have a massage for a variety of health conditions including: • Back pain • Inflammatory conditions such as arthritis or tendonitis.

• Stress relief and stress related conditions.

• Headaches and migraines • Muscular conditions • Repetitive strain injury • Circulatory and respiratory problems • Post Injury & Post Surgical Rehabilitation.

• Pre & Post Sporting Activities Patricia Kaines has been a massage therapist for 16 years and has a wealth of experience having worked in both the NHS and the Private Health Sector in the UK. She is currently based from Clinica Medicare´s premises in La Cala de Mijas.

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For further information on the various massage treatments that Patricia offers or to make an appointment please call medilink on 952 933 876 or call Patricia directly on 666 170 868.

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Top 10 facts about

HEALTH & Fitness

There is so much information around when it comes to health and fitness that it can be difficult to know all the facts.

1. Sugar is as bad for you as cigarettes. Although sugar does not have the same stigma as smoking, the truth is indulging on sweet treats or dessert could be as bad for you as lighting up a cigarette.

2. An hour’s sleep could make you happier than €60,000. What would it take to make you happier? In fact, the study suggests that getting one extra hour of sleep each night does more for your daily happiness than a €60,000 pay rise?!?!

3. Exercise won’t make you thin. Although many people use exercise as their sole method of weight management, many studies have shown that exercise, when not combined with dietary changes, does very little in respect to losing weight.

4.

Chewing gum boosts your brain power. Don’t have time for your morning coffee? Try a piece of chewing gum instead to feel more alert.

5. Coffee can help ward off depression. We often hear about how caffeine is bad for us; however, a study from the Harvard School of Public Health has found that, for women, drinking four or more cups of caffeinated coffee a day could reduce risk of depression by 20 per cent.

6. Being optimistic can save your life: We all know that thinking positively can have a great impact on your happiness, however research has also revealed that being an optimist can help you live longer. Research reveals that optimistic people are less likely to suffer from heart disease, researchers have found that heart patients who were more optimistic about their treatment lived longer than those who were not.

7. Few of us would wash our hands after getting money out from an ATM machine; however, cleanliness tests have revealed that cash machines are just as dirty as public toilets. Experts assessed swabs from the key pads on cash machines and also from nearby public toilets and found that they both contained the same types of bacteria known to cause sickness. YUCK!

8. Women are nine times more likely to suffer from a broken heart: Many people have felt at times like they were going to die from a broken heart, and research studies have now confirmed the existence of broken heart syndrome, a condition in which the release of adrenaline caused by shock (often due to overwhelming fear or pain) can lead to heart failure.

9. Less than one per cent of bacteria cause disease: day to day to day life, we are surrounded by bacteria – in fact, healthy human skin is covered in around 1000 different species of bacteria. However, contrary to popular belief, most bacteria are not harmful and, in fact, less than one per cent cause disease.

10. Stretching before running may lower your endurance: Many of us have been taught to warm up before exercise, however recent studies suggest that stretching before a run may not be beneficial to your workout. Stretching before going for a run made a runner’s body less efficient so that they did not perform as well and were unable to run as far.

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Health Well Being & HOW TO STOP

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SNORING

THERE'S NO MIRACLE CURE FOR SNORING, BUT LIFESTYLE CHANGES, OVER-THE-COUNTER REMEDIES AND MEDICAL TREATMENTS MAY HELP.

As snoring is often related to lifestyle, there are some simple changes you can make to minimise it.

SNORING SELF-HELP TIPS:

Maintain a healthy weight and diet. Being overweight by just a few kilograms can lead to snoring. Fatty tissue around your neck squeezes the airway and prevents air from flowing in and out freely.

Try to sleep on your side rather than your back. While sleeping on your back, your tongue, chin and any excess fatty tissue under your chin can relax and squash your airway. Sleeping on your side prevents this.

Avoid alcohol before going to bed. Alcohol causes the muscles to relax more than usual during a normal night's sleep. This added relaxation of the muscles makes the back of the throat collapse more readily, which then causes snoring.

Quit or cut down on smoking. Cigarette smoke irritates the lining of the nasal cavity and throat, causing swelling and catarrh. If the nasal passages become congested, it's difficult to breathe through your nose because the airflow is decreased.

Keep your nasal passages clear, so that you breathe in through your nose rather than your mouth. If an allergy is blocking your nose, try antihistamine tablets or a nasal spray. Ask your pharmacist for advice, or see your Doctor, if you're affected by an allergy or any other condition that affects your nose or breathing, such as sinusitis.

COMMERCIAL STOP-SNORING DEVICES:

There are a range of stop-snoring treatments and devices on sale. These include nasal strips, which open the nostrils wider, throat sprays and devices known as mandibular advancement devices (MAD), which reposition the jaw to ease airflow.

MEDICAL HELP FOR SNORING:

For some cases of snoring, surgery to fix structural problems in the airways, such as enlarged adenoids, can help.If your snoring is caused by looseness in your soft palate (the soft upper part at the back of the mouth), a technique called radiofrequency ablation, which uses heat energy to tighten the palate, may help.

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Medical Mayhem

A woman walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic.

Surprised, the pharmacist asks, "Madam, what do you want with arsenic?"

The woman replies that she wants to kill her husband.

Horrified, the pharmacist says, "Madam, I can't sell you arsenic to kill a person!"

The woman reaches into her handbag, takes out a photograph and lays it down on the counter. The photo shows a man and a woman in a sexually compromising position. The man is her husband. The pharmacist recognises his wife as the woman in the photograph.

The pharmacist picks up the photo and nods, "Ah, madam, I didn't realise you had a prescription."

A nursing assistant, a floor nurse and a charge nurse from a small nursing home were taking a lunch break in the break room. In walks a lady dressed in silk scarves and wearing large polished-stone jewelry. “I am Gina the Great,” stated the lady. “I am so pleased with the way you have taken care of my aunt that I will now grant the next three wishes!” With a wave of her hand and a puff of smoke, the room was filled with flowers, fruit and bottles of drink, proving that she did have the power to grant wishes before any of the nurses could think otherwise.

The nurses quickly argued among themselves as to which one would ask for the first wish.

Speaking up, the nursing assistant wished first. “I wish I were on a tropical island beach, with single, well-built men feeding me fruit and tending to my every need.” With a puff of smoke, the nursing assistant was gone.

The floor nurse went next. “I wish I were rich and retired, and spending my days in my own warm cabin at a ski resort with well-groomed men feeding me cocoa and doughnuts.” With a puff of smoke, she too was gone.

“Now, what is the last wish?” asked the lady.

The charge nurse said, “I want those two back on the floor at the end of the lunch break.”

A man staggers into a hospital with concussion, Multiple bruises, two black eyes and a 5 iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

The doctor asked "What happened to you?"

"Well I was playing Golf with my wife when we sliced our golf balls into a field of cows. I found one stuck in a cows butt, I yelled to my wife 'this looks like yours', I don't remember much after that ..."

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A Man’s World

JEFF WALKS INTO A BAR...

Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar.

He walks over and asks Paul what`s wrong. "Well," replies Paul, "you know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?" "Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh. "Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed." "That`s great!" says Jeff, "When are you going out?" "I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried I`d get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn`t show."

"Sensible" says Jeff. "So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. Waited" "She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest dress you have ever seen." "And what happened then?" (Paul slumps back over the bar again.) "I kicked her in the face."

TRUER WORDS WERE NEVER SPOKEN...

Two men are out at their favorite fishing hole, just fishing quietly and drinking beer.

Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, Mel says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months."

Earl continues slowly sipping his beer, then thoughtfully says, "Better think it over. Women like that are hard to find."

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Oh, for the love of dog

Dogs are defiantly our best four legged friends but could they be better than human company (girlfriend/boyfriend or wife/husband), we test the theory…

1.The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog’s parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog; they’re ready to go 24 hours a day.

7. Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk.

8. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

9. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

10. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’ t get angry or jealous. They just think it’s interesting and like to have a good sniff.

11. Dogs like to sit in the back of the car (better than the boot), they never call shotgun.

And last, but not least......

12. If a dog leaves, it won’ t take half of your stuff.

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Marble Floor Polishing Phone Paul: 654 589 218

Before

After

Free advice on how to care for your floors at www.marblefloor.info

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BEACH CARS...

The Fiat 600 Jolly was produced by the design house Ghia in the 1950s and 60s, for the rich and famous for use on the golf courses and marinas, they were very expensive at the time and around 400 Jollys were produced, one sold earlier this year in the US for 99.000$.

The VW Buggy Up is painted bright orange and is beach-ready, with an open top, a canvas sail and a waterproof interior with drainage. It will being going into production in 2015.

Land Rover is killing off The Defender next year after 67 years of production, They will be replacing it with 2 new models one will be the DC100 Sport - an all new beach Buggy – This is going to be amazing!!

Around 20 Mini Beach Cars were produced with wicker seats “For use in the balmier parts of the world” most went to hotels for use in transporting guests to the beach.

Still only a concept at this stage, the Portofino is based on Fiat's Fiorino van and inspired, we're told, by the coachbuilt Fiat beach cars of the 1950s.

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So which car are you taking to the beach this month.....!

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Top 10 facts about

ICE CREAM

New Zealanders eat more ice-cream than any other nation, an average of 28.4 litres per person per year.

2. This is more than four times the UK average of seven litres per person.

3. On June 13, 1789, George Washington became the first US president to eat ice-cream.

4. The ice-cream cone was patented by Italo Marchioni of New York on December 15, 1903.

5. According to Nasa, ice-cream is among the top three items most missed by astronauts on space flights. The others are pizza and fizzy drinks.

6. The European patent office lists a total of 11,715 ice-cream-related inventions, plus another 421 with ‘icecream’ spelt as one word.

7. Ice-cream came fifth in a list of favourite snacks while watching TV in 2001 in the UK. 8. Joey Chestnut won the 2014 World Ice-Cream Eating Championship with 15 pints in six minutes.

9. Around 25 per cent of all ice-cream sales are vanilla flavour.

10. It takes an average of 50 licks to eat a single scoop ice-cream cone.

Mmmmmmm, we can hear you running to the freezer now!

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Strangebuttrue...

COULD GLOWING PLANTS REPLACE ROAD LIGHTING? MAYBE NOT TODAY, BUT BIOGLOW IS GETTING CLOSER EVERYDAY! THE COMPANY HAS BEEN ABLE TO DEVELOP THE FIRST AND ONLY AUTOLUMINESCENT PLANT! Take note Malaga council no more electrcity bills for the N340...

BioGlow’s plants are the world’s first autoluminescent plants meaning that all the components required for the light emission are produced by the plant itself without the need for UV light or any external chemical applications.

The company has been able to develop the first and brightest autoluminescent plant - a plant that can glow on its own and all you have to add is: water!

duces a soft glow that’s reminiscent of a nightlight.

Amazing or what!?!

BioGlow is going even further already!

Newer and brighter methods are already being ex p e r i m e n t e d with.

The company’s vision is for glowing plants to be used as a clean, sustainable and affordable source of The company would one lighting. day make plants a viable way to light parks, paveBioGlow begins with a common house plant called ments, roads, and even parts of your home; Can Nicotiana Alata and by using bioluminescent marine you imagine watering your plants to lower my elecbacteria they are able to modify the plant’s genetics tric bill. so that its chloroplasts (the part of the plant that To see how the company works see their website: turns sunlight into energy) to produce light. http://www.bioglowtech.com/Home.html.

BioGlow is calling it “Starlight Avatar” and it pro-

GARDEN CENTER L I N D AV I S TA

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Ctra de Cadiz, Km171,29670, San Pedro de Alcantara, Behind McDonalds in San Pedro. Tel; 952785206

CLM©2008

HU GE RA NGE OF: POT S lG ARD E N TO OLS lPLA NT S FLOW ERS & S HRU B S lG A RDEN FU RNI TU RE lG A R D E N O R N A M E N TS

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FINANCIAL NEWS

Another month passes by and generally when we are enjoying the sun the markets also take their break This year however with political uncertainty in a couple of parts of the world the stock markets are not sure how to react so we could see some volatility.

In the Eurozone Mr Draghi and the ECB took a rather unusual approach and decided that the Central Bank only needed to meet every six weeks instead if four. As expected they held interest rates however the ECB is coming under pressure to add further measures to support a weak economic recovery across the Euro area, this view was supported recently by the IMF who are in full support if looser monetary policy in the hope that countries can move away from additional austerity and seek investment opportunities.

This view would be very welcome in Both France and Italy right now as both countries continue to struggle. In Italy the central bank has revised downwards it's growth forecast for this year whilst in France the country is not in --a position to confirm when it will return to growth. In Spain we have seen continued improvement in our economic affairs and expect to see growth of around 1.3% this year. Investors reflect this view as bond yields continue to seek lower returns.

Inflation or rather lack of it across the Zone continues to cause concern as does the unemployment situation albeit the next set of figures should be lower driven down by sea-

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sonal demands. Greece in particular are looking at around 20million visitors thus summer so there is a hope that will provide a much needed economic boost.

In the UK new car sales continue to improve and economic confidence has returned. Interestingly for all the talk about house prices Rightmove gave recently announced a fall in average house prices by. 8%, London again bring different have seen average house prices rise by 20percent in the last 12 months and around ÂŁ240 per day, great if you happen to own a house in the area.

Banks are in the news and the major banks are concerned over the possibility of break ups as the new commission review the current structures. A potential new scandal may be around the corner as a review will take place on the possibility of exchange rate fixing if this is proven the finest will mo doubt he greater than anything we gave seen in the past.

The pound in your pocket when changing to euros or dollars has done quite well of late and I expect the pound to see the summer out holding its current position.

To find out how Moneycorp can help you achieve more on your exchange of currency contact them on 952 587 657 please mention Costa Link Magazine when contacting our currency partner email costalink@moneycorp.com.

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This Indian dish is traditionally cooked in a clay oven, but works on the barbecue too - try with homemade tamarind chutney and herb salad

Chicken Tikka Burgers

Ingredients:

For the burgers: 6 small chicken breasts 6 burger buns (we used ciabatta) For the marinade: 2 tbsp tomato purée 200g pot Greek yogurt thumb-sized piece ginger, finely grated 4 garlic cloves, very finely grated 2 tbsp garam masala ½ tsp ground cinnamon ½ tsp ground cayenne pepper juice 1 lemon, plus wedges to serve

Method:

For the chutney: 2 tomatoes, chopped 1 small red onion, chopped 1 green chilli, chopped 1 tsp tamarind pulp 2 tbsp tomato ketchup For the salad ½ cucumber, sliced 1 Little Gem lettuce, shredded small bunch mint, leaves picked 1 small red onion, finely sliced

1) Mix the marinade ingredients in a bowl. Open out each chicken breast and flatten slightly. Place the chicken in the marinade for at least 2-3 hrs. Meanwhile, mix the chutney ingredients together and set aside. (It will keep in the fridge overnight.)

2) Heat the BBQ until the coals are ashen, then griddle the chicken for 4-5 mins on each side until cooked through. Toss the salad ingredients and place the chicken in the buns with the salad and spoonfuls of chutney. Serve with lemon wedges.

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What’s On Guide...

23rd May - 21st September: Marbella Book Fair In various locations throughout Marbella for more information and schedule of events go to http://www.marbellafamilyfun.com 23rd May - 21st September: Abu Simbel Temple Museum, the treasure of the Gods come to Marbella Lovers of ancient Egypt will be able to enjoy an exact replica of the great Abu Simbel Egyptian Temple. For more information call 952 82 82 44 this expo is being held at Palacio de Ferias, Congresos y Exposiciones de Marbella.

23rd July - 23rd August: Starlite Festival Marbella. The stage is surrounded by 60 metre-high rock walls which creates an incredible atmosphere, like an isolated litte world beneath the stars.World-class acts include Ricky Martin, Tom Jones, the Pet Shops Boys and Kool and the Gang. For more information see www.starlitefestival.com.

15th August: The Feast of the Assumption (Asunción de la Virgen) is a public holiday in Spain on August 15th. Most businesses close on the 15th apart from tourist shops, restaurants and bars, so stock up on some food if you need to.

16th - 23rd August: Malaga Feria Every year the city of Málaga lights up as it celebrates its week-long fair with live music, dance, traditional food, flamenco, and amusement park rides. For more information please see: www.malagaturismo.com.

Every Monday: 1st Coin Brownies meet 5pm-6.30pm at El Centro Nazareno in Coin. Suitable forages 7-10 years. Great fun for the girls. Contact www.1stcoinbrownies.info Every Monday: 11 am – 1 pm: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain at La Iglesia Bar, near Bonanza Square, Benalmadena Costa.

Every Monday: Arts and Crafts Fair in Benahavis at 8pm in the Main Square in Benahavis.

Every Tuesday: The Costa Women Coffee Club meet every second Tuesday at 10am – 12.30pm for coffee, chats and other activities and is a social group designed to get ladies of all ages together. It’s best to join the group via Facebook or contact Emma on 608 408 771.

Every Tuesday: Dance with JiveSpain Miraflores Resturant from 8pm - 11pm. For more information see website at www.jivespain.com or call Colin on: 635 717 211.

Every Tuesday: 11 am – 1 pm Age Care Coffee Morning where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain at the Cafe in Supersol, El Zoco, Calahonda or call us on Tel 952 933 409.

Every Wednesday: at 11:30am the Malaga Picasso Museum is offering free guided tours in English which is included with the price of admission Every Wednesday: Dance with JiveSpain at El Campanario, San Pedro, from 8pm - 11pm. For more information seee website at www.jivespain.com or call Colin on: 635 717 211.

Every Thursday: Dance with JiveSpain at Tikitano Restaurant, Estepona from 8pm - 11pm.

For more information seee website at www.jivespain.com or call Colin on: 635 717 211.

Every Thursday: Market at Calypso, Calahonda.

Every Thursday: Flea Market from 9am next to Aldi in Las Lagunas, plenty of parking.

Every Thursday: 10 am – 12.30 pm: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain at Manilla Bar, Paseo Maritimo, Los Boliches, Fuengirola.

Every Friday: Dance with JiveSpain at Hotel El Goleto, Duquesa from 8pm - 11pm. For more information see website at www.jivespain.com or call Colin on: 635 717 211.

Every Sunday: Dance with JiveSpain take over the dance floor at Atalaya Park Hotel. For more information see website at www.jivespain.com or call Colin on: 635 717 211.

Every Sunday: Flea Market EVERY Sunday 10am till 2pm at Calypso, Calahonda.

Every Sunday: FAMA have a car boot sale at the Hippodrome from 9am - 2pm.

Every Sunday: Craft Market every Sunday in the Marbella Marina on the Teresa Zabell Pier: 12-6pm.

If you have an event, fundraiser or anything else please let us know... email: editor@costalinkmagazine.com phone: 951 216 131 or 663 061 669 62

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ocal Info Emergency Numbers

---

Central number for Fire, Police & Ambulance National Police Local Police Guardia Civil dica

Medical

112 091 092 062

Emergency 061 Ambulance Marbella 902 505 061 Ambulance Coin 952 453 267

Train Timetables 902 240 202 Airports Malaga 952 048 844 Gibraltar 956 773 026

Health Centres

Marbella 952 769 946 Coin 952 452 767 San Pedro 952 787 700

Town Halls

Marbella 952 761 100 San Pedro 952 453 020 La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208 Fuengirola 952 589 300 Estepona 952 801 100

Fire Brigade

Emergency number 080 Marbella 952 774 349 Estepona 952 804 483 Fuengirola 952 461 046

Consulates

British Ireland Denmark Sweden Germany France U.S.A

952 952 952 952 952 952 952

Marbella Coin Estepona Fuengirola San Pedro

952 771 442 952 822 818 952 822 818 952 467 457 952 785 252

352 475 226 604 212 226 474

300 108 373 383 442 590 891

Tourist Information

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Transport

Bus Stations Marbella 952 764 400 Coin 952 450 366 San Pedro 952 781 396 Estepona 952 800249 For a list of complete times www.andalucia.com/travel/bus

Markets

Monday - Marbella (fairground site on east side) Tuesday - Fuengirola (fairground near Los Boliches) Wednesday - Calypso (Mijas Costa & Estepona (Avda. Juan Carlos) La Cala - Feria ground Thursday - San Pedro (Recinto Ferial) Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama) Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano Pineda) & Nueva Andalucia (Next to Centro Plaza the Bullring).

La Cala - Feria ground.

Sunday - Puerto Estepona (Marina).

Cinemas

All the Cinemas listed below show films in English as well as Spanish. Call first to check what is showing that week.

Marbella: Cinesur Plaza del Mar 952 766 941 La CaĂąada 902 333 231 Puerto Banus: Gran Marbella 952 810 077 Coin: La Trocha 951 315 039 Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221 622

Chemists

24 hour chemist Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz Km 194. Marbella.

Tel: 952 83 25 89

Taxis

Marbella Taxis 952 774 488 Mijas Costa Taxis 952 476 593

Diary Dates

15/08/2014: Feast of the Assumption. Public holiday.

Many shops closed.

16/08/2014 - 23/08/2014: Malaga Feria. One of Andalucia’s best and biggest ferias.

25/08/2014: Bank holiday UK and Gibraltar.

if you would like to sponsor this page please call 951 216 131

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S TA R S I GN S

A look at what's in store for you during August 2014.....

Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

Aries

Taurus

Gemini 66

Capricorn Wow, there's so much passion! With Mars and Jupiter in your sign you'll have an extraordinary enthusiasm regards all your relationships (You might have experienced something similar in the summer of 2002, if you remember.) Mars is passionate, impulsive, full of desire and ready for action.

Jupiter is greedy, has enormous affective needs, and is full of enthusiasm and longs for adventure. Together, they have a huge power to attract and conquer, and are capable of all sort of crazy things when love comes around. On the work and finance front here's a month that promises! Chance, personal charm and connections could have a role in reaching success. August 2014 will be a very active month at the level of collaboration and partnerships. Financially, August 2014 will have good potential and could result in some extra income or in a most likely unexpected acquisition/investment.

Aquarius, knowing how to impose your point of view and how to support it, as well as knowing how to listen to the other one's opinion and respect their personality, might be the key that opens the door to happiness in August 2014. Now is a great time for discussing with the partner about anything, from issues of an emotional or spiritual nature, to current things or future projects. If you are single then now is a great time to meet someone special. This month there might be an event that will transform flings into a more serious relationship: maybe you'll be introduced to the parents, or maybe you’ll move in together. In your professional life this is the time that your enthusiasm will be reignited. August 2014 will have everything it needs so that it is a month of big professional and financial satisfactions. Check your priorities, have a daily agenda and stick to it!

Pisces, expect a splendid time this month, full of warmth, passion and glow. August 2014 will see your love life turning into a big party with champagne and fireworks. You may find yourself receiving all sorts of declarations and more or less indecent proposals. This month your life will awake, the world will seem more beautiful, and happiness will be easier to reach. Opportunities will become more favorable this month at work you'll have higher speed of reaction when you need to exploit them. In other words, you'll have the capacity to seize luck. In addition to luck, you'll also benefit from other resources.

You'll be in a good shape, meaning that you'll have energy to be envied for. This energy will overflow and will require to be guided into vigorous and concrete physical activities. Make sure you have some money put aside for unexpected situations!

Aries, at last, you should be feeling the LOVE! Jupiter has entered your sign bringing with it a promising year full of passion. Moreover: in August 2014, Jupiter will be joined by the Sun, Mercury and Venus, expect a glorious month to be in store for you! Eros will be ready to release its arrow towards Aries people at any time. Welcome it! On a more serious note August 2014 seems to be an ambitious month in which you'll focus on the professional objectives and in which money will be the main topic of interest.

Think long and hard before taking financial risks, launching into investments and taking out loans! Try to make new friends and to begin new collaborations: you'll be fortunate! You'll have a lot of energy. For one year from now you will benefit from excellent physical resources, which you are advised to use in dynamic activities such as sport, dancing, swimming, hiking, etc. Get out there and enjoy the summer...

Taurus, August 2014 is a month that needs to be approached cautiously. There is a Mars-Saturn conjunction, bring a burdening atmosphere towards conflicts or other unwanted events. It is also possible that maybe your partner will go through difficult time. For Taurus people, August 2014 will not be the most favorable period to start new relationships. On the other hand, if you've been in a complicated or unhappy relationship for some time, it might be time to make a radical decision as it is concerned. Collaborations & contracts will be an important but very vulnerable point for you this month. You’ll bring home the bacon this month though you will be comfortable regarding money. August will favour recharging your body with energy why not take the opportunity go to the mountains or to the seaside or just throw a party with your family or with your close friends!

Gemini, everything will gravitate towards communication this month. You'll be attracted to people who share your views and opinions. You will have a way with words this month you’ll be a captivating. You'll fascinate by ideas, conversation, messages. There will be chances for you to meet somebody that will mean a lot to you. If you are in a relationship August 2014 will be the ideal time to set the wheels in motion with your partner for change if you are unhappy as a couple. This month will be very dynamic for Gemini people, marked by many meetings and trips. You'll have a huge capacity to persuade and you'll be able to negotiate almost anything to your advantage. Plan your work thoroughly so that you avoid overload! You'll have excellent morale this month and will feel like your feet don’t touch the ground, try to make the most of the summer though because it’s going to whizz by…

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Cancer

Leo

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio

Sagittarius

Cancer, Jupiter has been in your sign for the past year it left the sign of Cancer last month. This means that relationships should have calmed down and the expectations being made on you have changed. Venus joins your sign this month bringing giving you charm and the power to seduce, you will be cheerful and affectionate making this August a social whirl of fun, parties and new love interests if you are single. On the work and money front August 2014 will be like the pilot episode of a series: captivating, intense and rich in clues regarding what's going to be next. Jupiter will bring luck to your sign this will be enhanced by the passing of the Sun there will be opportunities to raise your income, to find new sources of earning money. Avoid financial speculation and don't look for easy money! If you're interested in sports, you can start difficult training sessions you will have the energy to do so this month.

Leo, Jupiter entered the sign of Leo last month, where it will stay until August 2015. For one year, the Greater Benefic will lend you optimism and energy also a lust for adventure. Also expect to have a year full of passion. The happiest period for Leos will start on 12th August 2014, when Venus itself, the planet of love, will step into the sign of Leo bringing with it good luck with love. The last time Jupiter was in Leo was between August 2002 and August 2003, and it will now be by your side between July 16th 2014 and August 11th 2015. Jupiter's transits through one's sign are considered to be among the luckiest in one's life.

They widely open the gates to progress and bring opportunities which can contribute to advancement, enhancement and prosperity if well used. August 2014 will be a month that will promise a lot in this respect, so try to grab all gifts given with both hands!

Virgo, the first part of August 2014 will favour your social life, parties, get-togethers with friends general being out and about and busy all the time. In fact, all this creates an appropriate environment for the birth of new love or for the enhancement of Virgo's couple relationship. The second part of August 2014 will be more delicate. Venus and Jupiter in your sign will bring disappointment or maybe loneliness.

The first part of August will be less active, you can now make the action plan for the autumn organise yourself for the busy months ahead. The second part of the month will be much more active. Financially, this month there might be delays or blocks, but you might receive discreet, unexpected support also. Avoid rash or acid replies and keep the critical remarks to yourself!

Libra, since Uranus has been in your sign since 2013 it has made life have some lively dynamics, often being marked by surprising turns. However, if you have managed to maintain a steady relationship in spite of this transit of Uranus, then your partner is probably the one going through unexpected events. Uranus has been especially active since the end of June 2014. The conclusion to this is: you'll be in for a challenging period, which can be exciting and rather risky at the same time. You might experience episodes of burning passion, crazy actions born out of love, as well as fierce fights or even separations. At work you’ll be feeling a lot of enthusiasm and energy this will lead to some remarkable accomplishments.

Financially speaking, August 2014 should be profitable. Do your best on the work front this month! You can advance a great deal and reap the rewards.

Scorpio, if we were to separate the old or official relationships from those in their beginning phase, therefore passionate and obligation-free, the latter type of relationships seem to be at an advantage as opposed to the former type in August 2014. If you're into an old or stable relationship, this could also develop nicely you’ll find yourself going out and having fun with the partner. At work August 2014 will be a very successful month the Sun and Mercury in your sign will bring honor and appreciation. Ambition will amplify you’ll make a good impression, you'll work hard and you'll continuously be under pressure this will just help you to shine in your own estimation. Regarding money, there shouldn't be any reason to complain, especially if you have a hold on those purse strings. Try and get some exercise in this month, eat healthy food and relax a little you deserve it!

Sagittarius, Mercury has come back into your sign after a slight retrograde it has slowly gained its speed back, meaning that relationships are finding there natural rhythm again. After the 8th of August, your life will change in a number of ways concerning love and cohabitation. Long-distance love or romantic trips will also fall in the sphere of interest. August will be the period in which you'll socialise and have the best fun of the year. On the career front Sagittarius and Venus will make your way smoother, will place you in convenient circumstances and will bless you with the bosses' and the authorities' benevolence. Sometimes accomplishments are owed to the personal charm or personal relationships. This time, it will be exactly vice versa: you can make some connections that will be useful later at the professional level. Don't spend more than you can afford and don't chase money that you haven't earned!

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puzzle Link The Words

Solutions on page 80

it out

In each of these puzzles, three words are listed. All you have to do is find another word that can preceed each of these 3 words.

1)

_____

3)

____

2) 4) 5)

LIST

OUT

____

FLASH

PAPER

____

WAY

ROAD

____

MENT BOX

BERRY

EDITOR

BALL

JUMPING

OFFICE

MAN

TRACK

Guess The Celeb

A

B

Sudoku

ď‚š

Brain Teaser THE UNRELIABLE CLOCK

You have the misfortune to own an unreliable clock. This one gains exactly 15 minutes every hour. It is now showing 3.00am and you know that is was correct at midnight, when you set it.

The clock stopped four hours ago, what is the correct time now?

70

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Crossword

Across:

1. Walk sideways (6) 4. Full _____ (Bingo Expression) (5) 8. Adores (5) 9. Wailing Dog (7) 10. _______ Tv (Big Brother, I'm A Celebrity... etc) (7) 11. Big Plant (4) 12. That woman (3) 14. Largest Continent (4) 15. Nada, Nil, Zero (4) 18. French salt reversed (3) 21. Many, Auction items (4) 23. Sweet tasting substance, like toffee (7) 25. Most dear (7) 26. Desires, Integral parts (5) 27. Precise, Definite (5) 28. Stopped (6)

Down:

1. Structured Pay (6) 2. Shows, Unveils (7) 3. Fete, Gala (8) 4. Ovation, Applause (4) 5. R n B sensation, sings 'Yeah' (5) 6. Devon City (6) 7. Does as is told (5) 13. Way In (8) 16. What we use to count (7) 17. Vessel for travelling across snow (6) 19. People from north of the border (5) 20. Not open (6) 22. Headwear of a princess (5) 24. North, East, South, ____ (4)

Name The Film

A This 1939 film stars Vivien Leigh as a B manipulative Southern belle who has a turbulent affair with a blockade runner during the American Civil War.

This 2012 film starts an adventure with a spirited group of dwarves to reclaim their mountain home - and the gold within it - from the dragon Smaug.

Say What You See...

PLAY

words

sh get ape

DR.do

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The Jokes page

Jokes page

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a shopping centre. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by t wo shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?"

The father [never having seen an elevator] responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button.

The walls opened and the lady rolled bet ween them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up.

They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction.

The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out.

The father said to his son, "Go get your mother."

My flight was being served by a gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that 'Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.'

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic-looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. 'Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines, but I asked you to raise your trazypoo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.'

She calmly turned her head and said, 'In my country, I am called a Princess, and I take orders from no one.'

72

To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, 'Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you.

Tray-up, Bitch!'

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."

With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed... "YES! YES! I WON, I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed...

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.

Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"

The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."

It's annual superheroes new years party.

Batman and Spiderman are chatting.

All of a sudden the Hulk rushes in all red and perplexed.

"Whats up" asked Batman?

"Well I was upstairs looking for the toilet and I passed the bedroom and saw Wonder Women naked on the bed and moaning and groaning. I started feeling all hot and bothered and thought what the hell and jumped on top of her!"

"Was she surprised?" asked Spiderman.

"Yes but not as surprised as The Invisible Man!"

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puzzle Trivia Quiz Answers

1) Aintree Racecourse 2) Right 3) 19 4) Aardvark 5) Ant & Dec 6) All’s well that ends well 7) French – Her new name is Cheryl Fernandez-Versini 8) 4 (plus 1 dog) 9) Germany 10) Thursday 11) 40 12) 4 13) Cats 14) Nobel Peace Prize 15) The 3 Musketeers 16) Fractures (of the bone) 17) Zaire, Zambia and Zimbabwe 18) Malta 19) Miss Marple 20) The FBI 21) He shot himself 22) Omega 23) George Michael 24) Ford 25) 13 26) Hare 27) 37 28) Emily 29) Mercury 30) Orchestra

Answers from 24, 70 & 71

it out

Link The Words 1) Black 2) News 3) Base 4) Rail 5) Post

Guess The Celeb a) Zoe Ball b) Mick Jagger

Brain Teaser

Answer: 6.24am.

Since the clock is gaining 15 minutes every hour, for every real hour that has passed, the clock will show 75 minutes.

Since the clock shows 3.00am, we know that 180 clock minutes have passed.

This equals 144 real minutes (180 / 75 x 60), so the clock shows 2.24 am.

The clock stopped 240 minutes ago (4 hours), so the time must now be 6.24am. QED.

Crossword Solution

Sudoku Solution

Name The Film

a) Gone With The Wind (1939)

b) The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012)

Say What You See 1) Play on Words

80

2) Get in Shape 3) Dr Dolittle

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