C o s t a l I n k m ma ag ga az z ii n ne e COVERING COSTA DEL SOL - INCLUDING FUENGIROLA, LA CALA, CALAHONDA, ELVIRIA, MARBELLA, PUERTO BANUS, SAN PEDRO, ESTEPONA, LA DUQUESA, SABINILLAS, SOTOGRANDE, ALHAURIN & COÍN.
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DECEMBER 2010 NO. 44
Jokes H o ro s c o p e s
Local Info Bar & Restaurant Guide
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Merry Christmas!!!!!
Here we are at the end of another year, Feeling a little older and looking much older to go with it! What a year it has been, we have lived through a general election in the UK, a football World Cup www.costalinkmagazine.com spelling disaster for England and Celebrations for Spain. Then there was the Visit to Marbella by America’s First Lady, followed by the commonwealth games. The sporting year finished with costalink.magazine The Fomula one Grand Prix – one of the most Deposito Legal: MA-228-2007 exciting I can remember – A shame that we didn’t see a Spanish World champion here too ooh so Deadline Date: 15th of each close!. And to top it all we have just had the month. news that Prince William and Kate Middleton No part of this publication, including have just got engaged. pictures may be copied, SCANNED, Looks like next year is going to have a lot to live used or reproduced without our prior up to, the Royal Wedding will help and as for the written consent. rest – we will have to wait and see. Costa Link Magazine accepts no In the mean time, Enjoy the celebrations responsibility for alterations to events listed, Eat drink and be merry!! See you next year .. claims made by our advertisers or
sales@costalinkmagazine.com
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Pu z zle s
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Jo ke s Pa ge s
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A W o m a n’ s W o r l d Woman’s World marketing for Girls..... • You see a gorgeous bloke at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm amazing in bed." That's Direct Marketing. • You're out shopping for knickers with a bunch of girlfriends and see a gorgeous hunk buying some sexy lingerie. You persuade one of your mates to go up to him and point to you and whisper in his ear: "She's amazing in bed." That's Product Endorsement. • A gorgeous hunk saunters up to you at a party, notices the wedding ring on your left hand, and realises though you may be amazing in bed, he will never know for sure. He's been a victim of False Advertising.
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• You see a guy at a party that makes your knees shake and your knickers melt. You go up to him and get his mobile number. The next day you call him and say, "Hi, I'm amazing in bed." That's Telemarketing. • You're in a bar and see a gorgeous guy drinking on his own. You hitch up your skirt, fluff your hair and walk up to him and buy him a drink. You drop your handbag and when he stoops down to pick it up, you accidentally brush your lips against his and murmur: "By the way, I'm amazing in bed." That's Public Relations. • You're out walking and a drop-dead gorgeous hunk comes up to you and says straight out: "I hear you're just so amazing in bed." That's Brand Recognition.
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We at Costa Link were wondering what sort of disgustingly expensive gifts are going to be gracing the stockings of the Beckhams & the Pitts etc this Christmas .. Maybe we’ll give them some ideas! First on our Christmas list is the £43,000 Steiff bear he has fur made of real gold, and eyes made with sapphires and diamonds. Only 125 editions have been produced, quick phone Harrods now to reserve one! Next is the very glamorous Swarovski encrusted toilet, a snip at only 50 grand . Where would we be without our mobile phone? The Austrian £1.44 Million jeweler Peter Aloisson still develops a unique and innovative iPhone 3G Kings Button as the world’s most expensive mobile phone a steal at £1.44 million. Lastly Inspired by the Angels Collection from Victoria’s Secret lingerie, this bra features 2,900 pavé-set white diamonds in 18k white gold weighing a total of 112 carats. The centerpiece of this once-in-a-lifetime piece is a stunning 70carat, pear-shaped flawless diamond. Roll £6.66 M illion on Christmas morning.....!
8
Hot Goss !
? ent!!? l a T t It may be getn’s Go Jorda ting
colder outside but no, you don’t need to check the calendar, it’s not April 1st. Or the end of days - though you could be forgiven for thinking that The Apocalypse might be nigh on hearing the news that Katie Price, aka Jordan, really is about to launch a new show on Living, searching for the next, ?, Jordan The 32-year-old former glam-
our model, and mum of three, is on the lookout for UK-based girls who dream of being models. "Any shapes sizes heights individuality is a must to audition for Jordan idol I will let you know when so watch this space xx (she posted on Twitter). She added, "I can't wait to go up and down the country to audition girls for one of my new shows Jordan Idol ! Xx". We’ll bet she can’t. The question on our mind though is whether anyone will turn up? It already sounds like car crash telly doesn’t it? Still, Katie Price is going to be laughing all the way to the bank because whether the show’s successful or not, it’s all part of a deal where she’ll be pocketing a cool £10million of Living TV’s cash! So, will any of you apply to be on Katie Price’s new show? Let us know what you think Tweet us @costa_link
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Santas Bad Day
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One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for is annual trip, but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, the trainee elves were not producing the toys as fast as the normal ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mum was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom. Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?" Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
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1. What date is St Stephen's Day? 2. In Charles Dickens' novel A Christmas Carol, who was Scrooge's dead business partner? 3. The song White Christmas was first performed in which 1942 film? 4. London's Trafalgar Square Christmas tree is traditionally given by which country? 5. In the song The Twelve Days of Christmas, '...my true love brought to me nine...' what? 6. Name the original eight reindeer from the 'Twas the night Before Christmas' poem. 7. Which Christmas carol includes the lyrics '...To save us all from Satan's power, when we were gone astray..'? 8. The character Jack Skellington appears in which 1993 Tim Burton film? 9. What colour are the berries of the mistletoe plant? 10. In the inspirational 1946 film, It's a Wonderful Life, what's the name of George Bailey's guardian angel? 11. What are the names of the three wise men said to have brought gifts to the baby Jesus? 12. What is New Year's Eve called in Scotland? 13. What Christmas item was invented by London baker and wedding-cake specialist Tom Smith in 1847? 14. In what year was Band-Aid's Do They Know It's Christmas the UK Christmas chart-topping record? 15. Which country did St Nicholas come from? 16. Who wrote How the Grinch Stole Christmas? 17. From which country does the poinsettia plant originate? 18. Who wrote Auld Lange Syne? 19. How many points does a snowflake have? 20. What is the name of the cake traditionally eaten in Italy at Christmas? Answers on Page 80
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A letter from Santa..... 2 Cold Street North Pole, H0H 0H0 I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this year, and since you have, I will be telling my elves to make some goodies for me to leave under your tree at Christmas. I was going to bring you all the gifts from "The Twelve Days of Christmas", but we had a little problem up here. The twelve fiddlers fiddling, have all come down with "VD" from fiddling with the ten ladies dancing. The eleven lords a leaping have knocked up the eight maids a milking, and the nine pipers playing, have been arrested for doing weird things to the seven swans a swimming. The six geese a laying, four calling birds, three french hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree, have me up to my ears in bird poo. On top of all this, Mrs. Claus is going through the menopause, eight of my reindeer are on heat, the elves are off attending Gay Pride, and the European Court of Human rights have re-scheduled Christmas for the 5th of February. Sincerely,
Santa.
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An Alaskan Party
The dangers of an idyllic life in the wilderness
Tom had been in business for 25 years and was finally sick of the stress. He quit his job and bought 50 acres of land in Alaska, as far from humanity as possible. He saw the postman once a week and got groceries once a month; otherwise it was total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocked on his door. He opened it and there stood a huge, bearded man. "Name's Lars, your neighbour from forty miles up the road... Having a Christmas party Friday night... Thought you might like to come... About five o'clock..." "Great," said Tom, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you." As Lars was leaving, he stopped and said, "Gotta warn ya...There's gonna be some serious drinkin'." "Not a problem," said Tom, "after 25 years in business, I can drink with the best of 'em." Again, as he started to leave, Lars stopped and said, "More'n' likely gonna be some bad fightin' too!" Tom said, "Well, I get along with people, I'll be alright. I'll be there. Thanks again." Once again Lars turned from the door, saying "More'n likely be some really wild sex, too." "Now that's really not a problem," said Tom, warming to the idea. "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?" Lars stopped in the door again and said: "Whatever you want. Just gonna be the two of us."
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The nightmare before Christmas.....
When it comes to buying gifts you fall into one of only two categories. You’re either one of those people that claims to “just love buying for other s p i h s n people” and who has somehow managed to turn the latio e r act into an art form. n rui Or you are the sort who breaks into a cold sweat at the very that thought of gift shopping - the stress, the pressure it’s all just too, too much. But regardless of which camp you fall into, there is no sure-fire way to ensure your gift is going to be a hit. In fact, the impact of your choice of gift could have repercussions above and beyond a quivering lip or a sullen face. That’s right, your gift actually speaks. And volumes. Your gift has the power to communicate how much you care for your partner, how much you listen and how much they mean to you. So no pressure at all then? Sidestep the minefield, read and take heed of our absolute no-no’s to get you off on the right foot. At all costs you need to avoid • Giving anything that implies a flaw Diet books, self-help books, gym membership, antiageing creams, all to be avoided at all costs. You might as well save the cash and just tell them they’re fat or flawed in some way. • Anything practical or housework related A hoover, a set of saucepans no, no and thrice no. Giving a gift is an opportunity to buy someone something they wouldn’t normally buy for themselves, so give the dull and practical gifts a swerve and think ‘indulgence’. • Cheap tat If you’re trying to say “I care more about my bank balance than I care about you” then go right ahead here. However, if you actually like your other half, you’re going to need to dig a little deeper. That doesn’t mean that a good gift is necessarily one you lavish cash on, but no one likes a miser and it’s never more apparent than when giving a gift. Avoid the bargain bucket and think about what it is that will make them smile, not your bank manager. • No gift at all. ”I forgot” is just never going to cut it. If you care then you would know the important dates - birthdays, anniversaries there are no excuses here. If you’re time poor then get online. If you’re just thoughtless then be prepared to pay the price. A gift that’s more about you than them Tickets to see... your favourite band, a book you want, clothes you like. Buying a gift is all about the other person; it has nothing to do with you. Be selfless in the act of gift shopping and hold yourself back. It can be your turn next payday. • A ‘virtual gift’ A star named after you, chickens for a village in Africa, a donation in your name. OK, so some of them may appear to be nice, thoughtful, even selfless gestures, but aren’t they really just a little bit smug, and really can I wear it, can I touch it? No, so where’s my actual gift then?! Get real, unless it’s a holiday think tangible, think paper-ripping and beaming smiles - now that’s a gift.
• Clothes A fine line is to be trodden here and some may even argue it’s a perfectly OK gift to buy, but if you are one of those people, then proceed at your peril. We’re all adults, we all know what we like, that’s why we choose our own clothes and have done since we were 12 or 13. If we wanted dressing we’d get a stylist. If you must, try and make good with vouchers for their favourite store but please, no actual clothes.
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A M a n’s W o r l d Why Christmas trees are better than a woman .. • A Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past. • Christmas trees don't get mad if you use exotic electrical devices. • A Christmas tree doesn't care if you have an artificial one in the closet. • A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you break one of its balls. • You can feel a Christmas tree before you take it home. • A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you look up underneath it. • When you are done with a Christmas tree you can dump it and will have no repercussions. • A Christmas tree doesn't get jealous around other Christmas trees. • A Christmas tree doesn't care if you
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vital that a queen is not allowed to become pregnant without careful thought about finding good homes for the kittens.
Although any owner is naturally reluctant to put a healthy cat through a surgical procedure, there are strong long term health benefits for both sexes – abolishing the risk of mammary cancer and womb infections in females and reducing health problems relating to territorial aggression in males – from recurring abscesses to an increase risk of (FIV) infection, transmitted by bite wounds. Spaying is normally carried out at about 5 months old when the womb is immature and the risks of complications are lower. Similarly, male cats should be neutered at five to six months; before hormone led behaviours such as urine spraying and aggression become established.
Neutering can increase the risk of a cat gaining weight, as can indoor life and the feeding of some dry cat foods & treats. Prevention is better than the cure and establishing well regulated eating patterns from an early age is important although obesity is not likely to become a problem until after a kitten’s rapid growth phase has completed at six to nine months of age. If you do have any concerns please speak to your vet or we will gladly give you some advice contact us at:
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Medical Tips... Why are men reluctant to seek medical help? A survey carried out by Everyman Male Cancer Charity suggested that nearly twice as many men as women had not visited their Doctors in the past year. Evidence suggests fewer men go to the Dentist or the pharmacists for advice and information, or attend clinics, although men are more likely to end up in hospital because they delay seeking medical advice. Even male cancer helplines are used more by women, seeking advise on behalf of partners, fathers or sons and the fact that more women get skin cancer than men, but more men die from it indicates how late men are going to the doctors. Men could really learn from women about attitudes to health!! Historically women have always been the custodians of health. They have cervical and breast screening and they take the kids to the GP. As generally men don’t do any of that, they are much more reluctant to seek help when they have symptoms. Cancer survival rates in the UK are amongst the lowest in Europe, this is generally because the British don’t have a pro-active approach to their healthcare needs and seek medical assistance later. In Spain the medical facilities were recently voted 2nd out of all EU member states, in their prevention and treatment of cancer. Men tend not to talk about health preferring to discuss the game at the weekend, their car or a partner. Even politics is a more popular subject than health! In this recent survey it was found that men are going to the doctors with very advanced cancers and thus decreased survival rates. Generally survival is 60:40 when it could be as much as 99:1. Evidence yet again that we all need to take a much more pro-active approach to our health. Prevention and early detection is your best form of defense!!
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S ’ E P EURO
Hitting the slopes this winter? Start planning now with our guide to Europe’s best ski resorts...
H i t t h e n u r s e r y s l o p e s : What Flaine in France lacks in charm it makes up for in ease. It's a ski-in ski-out rts o resort, which means less lugging heavy equipment s e R i k or walking in strange boots; there are plenty of nursery S Best slopes and gentle blue runs; a good snow record makes for a softer landing; and a choice of five ski schools means lots of English-speaking instructors. Also try: Soldeu, Andorra; Les Arcs, France. S k i o n t h e c h e a p : In the past couple of years Bulgaria has stolen the budget skiing crown from Andorra thanks to price hikes in the latter, and some big spending in the former. Bansko is the country’s most developed resort, with good beginner and intermediate skiing on offer and quality accommodation. Also try: Kranjska Gora, Slovenia; Soldeu, Andorra; Poiana Brasov, Romania. I n d u l g e i n a p r è s - s k i : St Anton’s legendary Krazy Kangaruh and Moosewirt are both ski-in bars so seductively hedonistic you’ll be dancing on tables in your boots before you know it. Other venues worth trying in town include Platzl, Bar Cuba and The Funky Chicken for starters. Also try: Chamonix, France; Ischgl, Austria; Verbier, Switzerland. R e v e l i n t h e w h i t e s t u f f : With its clusters of ugly ’60s buildings, Tignes isn’t heavy on Alpine charm. Despite this it’s one of Europe’s top resorts thanks to sharing Espace Killy – a huge ski area with 300km of runs – with neighbouring Val d’Isère. Tignes also has Grand Motte glacier, which at 3656m means longer seasons than most resorts. Also try: Val Thorens, France; Saas Fee and Zermatt, Switzerland. : H e a d o f f - p i s t e : Chamonix’s La Vallée Blanche is the longest run in Europe at 22km, combining perilous terrain with stunning scenery (including views of Mont Blanc). It’s a good idea to take a guide to help you dodge the crevasses – the run claims lives each year – and to get tips on the many other off-piste runs around Chamonix. Also try: Verbier, Switzerland; Val d’Isère and La Grave, France. G e t t h e f e s t i v e v i b e : With horses and carts clattering around a car-free town of traditional Swiss wooden chalets, there are few ski resorts that would provide a better second home for Santa than Zermatt. Throw in views of the elegant Matterhorn, along with a lively drinking and dining scene and excellent skiing, and you’ve got the perfect Christmas ski break. Also try: Serre Chevalier, France; Kitzbühel, Austria. P e r f e c t y o u r t r i c k s : Morzine is a good base to explore the Portes Du Soleil, a huge region covering 14 resorts across the French and Swiss Alps. There are nine snowparks, including two superparks (in Les Crosets and Avoriaz) and a beginners’ park. For this reason plenty of pros head to Morzine, so if you’re looking for inspiration on the kickers and rails then this is the place. Also try: Les Deux Alps and Les 7 Laux, France; Zermatt, Switzerland. G o f o r m i l e s : Les Trois Vallées in France is the largest ski area in the world, and you’d be hard pressed to cover the piste map in a week. The main resorts of Courchevel, Méribel and Val Thorens are great bases with good nightlife, restaurants and accommodation, but those on a tight budget should try one of the better value linking towns such as Brides-les-Bains or Orelle. Also try: Sauze d’Oulx for The Milky Way, Italy; Tignes for the Espace Killy ski area, France.
Slightly closer to home why not try Sierra Nevada….. 36
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Bar & Restaurant Guide... PUNJAB PALACE
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See our website for menu details
www.punjabpalaceplayamarina.es Urb. Playa Marina, Local 5b,29649 Mijas Costa
40
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N340 MALAGA
Playa Marina
INDIAN RESTAURANT Open Daily From 11pm till 4pm 6pm till Midnight Take Away FREE Home Delivery Service Playa Marina 952 583 594 666 435 762
Playa Marina Recipe -Winter Pudding Bombe • 2 x 500ml tubs of good quality vanilla ice cream • 1 x 1kg panettone • 125ml Vin Santo • 3 heaped tablespoons good raspberry jam • 25g shelled pistachios • 75g tinned sour cherries, drained • 40g glacé clementines (or other glacé fruit), thinly sliced • 2 clementines, 1 peeled and sliced into rounds • 200g good-quality dark chocolate (70% cocoa solids), bashed up
Method If you like me think that raisins, sultana’s and etc are sent from hell then this is a very good alternative to the good old Christmas pudding! Get your ice cream out of the freezer to soften. Line a 2 litre pudding bowl with 3 layers of cling film. Slice four 2cm thick rounds off of your panettone then cut them in half. Arrange six of the slices in a single layer around the bowl and push them down if they overlap. Drizzle some Vin Santo around the sponge so it soaks in, then use the back of a spoon to smear the jam over the sponge. Add 1 tub of ice cream to the bowl and spread it around in a thick layer. Sprinkle pistachios, cherries and glacé fruit then put the clementine slices on top. Add the other tub of ice cream. Put the rest of the panettone slices on top of the ice cream, drizzle over some more Vin Santo then cover the bowl tightly with cling film. Press a plate down on top to press everything down, then freeze overnight. When serving, put the chocolate in a bowl and simmer over a pan of water on a really low heat. Then add a few gratings of clementine zest to the chocolate and when it’s nicely melted, pour it over the top so it oozes down the sides and looks delicious.
A Christmas Carol in a Teapot!
La Cala
Inspired by Charles Dickens' own gin punch recipe, and best consumed with gingerbread on the side. Serves six. Hot cocktails served in teacups are all the rage. Ingredients 3 teacups of gin 3 teacups of Madeira wine 3 cloves Pinch of grated nutmeg 1 tsp of cinnamon powder 2 tsp brown sugar 4 tblsp honey 6 large lemon and orange twists 1 slice of orange 1 pineapple Juice of 2 lemons Method
Jardin Botanico, Local 16, La Cala de Mijas.
Tel: 952 599 236. Mob: 685 578 743
SPECIAL LUNCHTIME MENU 12PM - 4PM STARTERS Spring Roll, Special Salad, Chicken and Sweetcorn/Tomato/Hot and Sour Soup or Spare Ribs.
Harrys Sports Bar
RICE AND NOODLES Special House Fried Rice, Boiled Rice or Noodles with Soya Bean Sprouts or Chips
DESSERTS Coffee, Tea, Ice Cream, Cream Caramel or Fruit Main restaurant serving usual delicacies 6pm - 12pm
HONG KONG
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All live sports and premiere league football. Six TVâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s and big screen. Full menu, Sunday roast and homemade tapas. Large sun terrace. Open 10amlate, seven days a week. Upstairs Los Jarales.
Calahonda
MAIN COURSE Beef with Blackbean/Oyster/Chinese Mushroom and Bamboo/Curry or Chicken with Cashew Nuts/Sweet and Sour/Curry or Prawns with Vegetables or Sweet and Sour Fish (Hake)
Mix all ingredients in a saucepan and place on a low heat. Let the concoction cook without boiling for 20 minutes. Taste and rebalance the sweet/sour flavours with more honey or lemon, if needed. Cook for another ten minutes then pour into a teapot and serve hot.
Snack Attack Cafe - Bar Due to popular demand Snack Attack is now open on Sundays 10am - 4pm for Breakfast, Lunch and our popular ROAST DINNER 2 courses for only 10 €
Open from 7.30 for Quality Breakfast, Lunch and Sandwiches
GREAT VALUE BREAKFAST ONLY 3.95€
LUNCH TIME SPECIALS (changes daily) KITCHEN NOW OPEN UNTIL 6PM Early EVENING TAPAS AVAilable Everything available as take away for days out Why not take a baguette of your choice to the Local 26 Jardín Botánico, beach or airport? La Cala de Mijas NOW IN OUR 7 T H YEAR Tel: 952 493 184
On the Sunny Side of the Street
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Merry Christmas BENAVISTA & OPEN Happy AS 2011 to all our USUAL customers
Urb. El Pilar, Edif. Benapilar. Locales 8-10, Estepona. Exit Km 168 (Opposite the Crowne Plaza Hotel) Tel: 952 88 36 66
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Please note that Nueva Andalucia branch is now closed for winter and PEGGOTTY’S branch in Nueva Andalucia will be closed for Benavista branch will be closing for the Christmas period on the 13th of the Winter from the 20th 2010 December and will re-open onof theSeptember 3rd of January 2011.
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Find Us Behind OPEN COR Riviera Edif. El Saladito 2, BC 3, Urb.Riviera del Sol, 29649 Mijas Costa
Riveria del Sol
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ADVERTISE YOUR BAR O R R E S TA U R A N T H E R E Te l e p h o n e : 6 6 3 0 6 1 6 6 9
Traditional Italian food & grill. Fresh pasta, wood burning pizza oven, Open every day 12 - 11. Riviera Commercial, Tel: 952 934 496
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Calenders, Appeal raffle draw 5€ a ticket (one prize a Wii, drawn in Jan 2011) and Pet Gifts, Hot toddys etc... Call Catarina 952 592 110.
ARCH (Andalucian Rescue Centre for Horses) are holding their Traditional Christmas Fayre on Saturday 11th December: at La Finca, Ctra de Coin
(A404) Km 3.5, Partido la Campinuela, from 11am-3pm. Come and take a ride to see Santa in his Grotto. Join in the Christmas spirit with Christmas carols and music from Steve and Wendy of ACE FM. There will be a BBQ, mulled wine and mince pies, bouncy castle, face painting, raffle, lucky dip and Tombola Alhaurin el Grande. Stalls will be selling Christmas gifts and decorations, craft and homemade baking stalls, childrens attractions and much more...Entry costs just 1€ for adults, free for kids. Limited pitches available at 10€ and food pitches 15€, call now Sue, Mobile 622 249 157 or email suesparkes01@gmail.com
Christmas Fair Sunday, 12th December, Mijas race Course: A fun day out for everyone, with entertainment all day and night, talent competition, Santa, hog roast, Lebanese buffett, loads of stands with Christmas goodies.Talent competition! Local entertainers needed to perform! PAD Quiz Night, 13th December, Carob Bar, Mijas la Nueva: A General Quiz, Picture Round, Music Round Sandwiches at Interval Raffle - 5€s per person call Sue for more information on: 952 568 370
What’s on guide...
ADVERTISE YOUR EVENTS! Call: 663 061 669
PAD Stalls 6th December 2010 - Passion Studio ,Fuengirola: Come and buy your Christmas cards,
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Xmas Wonder... So what if Christmas movies can be a bit soppy? They warm our hearts, restore our faith in humanity and generally bring joy to the world. We at Costa Link have unwrapped some of our favorite Yule tide flicks. Behold some of the best Christmas movies ever:
• Die Hard (1988) There's no better way to get in the Christmas spirit than watching a wifebeater-clad Bruce Willis single-handedly decimate a skyscraperful of terrorists on Christmas Eve. The classic one liners, the genre-redefining action, the genius use of a RunDMC holiday tune -- it's like a gift from Jesus himself.
• Love Actually (2003) So you love rom-coms? Try eight in one. Though some storylines (Liam Neeson helps his son woo a classmate) work better than others (horny Brit has American threesome), even the grinchiest among us will find something to heart here. It's a valentine to love all wrapped up in a Christmas bow.
• The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) Sleigh bells and shrunken heads? They're great together! Or so thinks Jack Skellington, who tries to take over Christmas in this awesomely ghoulish Tim Burton movie. With a sweet fable for kids and the torture of Santa for grown-ups, it's like 'The Grinch' on acid. (Um, kid-friendly acid.)
• Home Alone (1990) It made Macaulay Culkin the biggest child star on the planet, reigned at the box office for 12 straight weeks and grossed $533 million worldwide, but the best thing about this holiday staple is watching an 8-year-old kid toss burglars Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern a good old-fashioned Christmas beat-down.
• Elf (2003) Frank Ricard. Ron Burgundy. Ricky Bobby. They're all unforgettable Will Ferrell personas, but the role he might be remembered for most in 50 years is Buddy the Elf (what's your favorite color?) from '03's instant holiday classic. This non-stop laugher exemplifies all-ages entertainment.
• It's a Wonderful Life (1946) A tale of depression and almost-suicide doesn't exactly scream "Christmas classic" -- which is probably why Frank Capra's flick flopped at the box office. But more than 30 years later, it endures as a beloved testament to everything Christmas embodies: family, friends and the joy of life.
Scrooged (1988) Only Bill Murray could so expertly walk the fine line between pathos and hilarity, as he does playing miserly TV exec Frank Cross. Complete with a taxi-driving Ghost of Christmas Past and a (literally) ball-busting Ghost of Christmas Present, this Dickens send-up is so offbeat and fun, Yule love it!
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952 375 899 646 669 640
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ocal Info Emergency Numbers Central number for Fire, Police & Ambulance National Police Local Police Guardia Civil dica
112 091 092 062
Medical
Emergency 061 Ambulance Marbella 902 505 061 Ambulance Coin 952 453 267
Marbella 952 769 946 Coin 952 452 767 San Pedro 952 787 700
Town Halls Marbella 952 761 100 San Pedro 952 453 020 La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208 Fuengirola 952 589 300 Estepona 952 801 100
Fire Brigade Emergency number 080 Marbella 952 774 349 Estepona 952 804 483 Fuengirola 952 461 046
Markets
Consulates 952 952 952 952 952 952 952
352 475 226 604 212 226 474
300 108 373 383 442 590 891
Tourist Information Marbella Coin Estepona Fuengirola San Pedro
86 56
Bus Stations Marbella 952 764 400 Coin 952 450 366 San Pedro 952 781 396 Estepona 952 800249 For a list of complete times www.andalucia.com/travel/bus Train Timetables 902 240 202 Airports Malaga 952 048 844 Gibraltar 956 773 026
Health Centres
British Ireland Denmark Sweden Germany France U.S.A
Transport
952 771 442 952 822 818 952 822 818 952 467 457 952 785 252
Monday - Marbella (fairground site on east side) Tuesday - Fuengirola (fairground near Los Boliches) Wednesday - Estepona (Avda. Juan Carlos) La Cala - Feria ground Thursday - San Pedro (Recinto Ferial) Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama) Friday - Alhaurin el Grande (Bar Aquamania) Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano Pineda) La Cala - Feria ground. Sunday - Puerto Estepona
(Marina)
Cinemas
All the Cinemas listed below show films in English as well as Spanish. Call first to check what is showing that week. Marbella: Cinesur Plaza del Mar 952 766 941 La Ca単ada 902 333 231 Puerto Banus: Gran Marbella 952 810 077 Coin: La Trocha 951 315 039 Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221 622
Chemists 24 hour chemist Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz Km 194. Marbella. Tel: 952 83 25 89
Taxis Marbella Taxis 952 774 488 Mijas Costa Taxis 952 476 593
Diary Dates 6th December: Day of the Constitution 8th December: Immaculate Conception 25th December: Christmas Day 26th December: St Stephens Day. Public Holiday in Andalucia (BOXING DAY)
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teleweb internet & telephone just got better! tion for someone who lives here full time. Do you have a wireless internet system that you are not happy with? Teleweb will convert you over to their service at no cost. What have you got to lose?
HAVE A UK No IN SPAIN!
teleweb – “Pay as you go” internet Teleweb Internet & Telephone, has been providing wireless internet services since 2003, and in that time, has seen consistent growth and added new exciting services to its well established high speed 5GHz wireless internet service. FLEXIBILITY: Because you do not need a land line, you can have internet on a “Pay as you go” system. There are flexible solutions ranging from 1 hour to a permanent connec-
Teleweb offers a telephone system (without the need for a landline) with calls from 1.8c per minute. It is just like a Telefonica landline without the wires. No need to have your computer on to make and receive calls. Choose a telephone number from your home country or just elect to have a Malaga number. This system will work anywhere in the world with the same low call costs, you just need an internet connection. For more information on any of the above, please call Teleweb on 952 833 300 or Email: info@teleweb-marbella.
Nip it in the mud.....
From The Horses Mouth.....
Mud fever can mean a winter of misery for your horse, but a few simple measures can stop it in its tracks. If our winter is as wet and lengthy as last year the mud fever could be top of the winter problems list, if not caught early it can cause pain. And even lameness, but it’s surprisingly easy to avoid. The symptoms for mud fever vary depending on how badly the skin is infected: at best you can expect crusty scabs these can be removed by washing with an antiseptic solution, for hard to remove scabs, make sure legs are clean and dry, then wrapping cling film to sweat the scabs off, keep the film in place by securing with stable bandages. In severe cases the horse will feel very uncomfortable and the scabs will tend to bleed. There are lots of special products on the market geared at mud fever, but you don’t have to splash out, with the credit crunch in full swing there are options for every budget. Waterproof the legs with a barrier cream, this will help to keep moisture and bacteria out of the skin, budget barrier creams that are very effective are, udder cream or E 45 cream. Liquid paraffin is very good as it’s thicker than normal baby oil, but baby oil will suffice if nothing else is at hand, try dabbing the sore areas with a little sudocrem or medicated baby cream. I am sure that if you look hard enough you will find something in your house that will do the trick. Just remember whatever your choice of barrier cream always removes it when you bring the horse in. Be vigilant and check legs regularly, mud fever on the fore legs can often be mistaken for overreach wounds, If legs are hairy then it’s a good idea to trim or clip them, this prevents the hair from holding moisture. Bandages can help keep legs clean and dry, but don’t pull to tight and only bandage clean dry legs. And finally you can give supplements, as for most things there are supplements for mud fever, these keep the skin healthy making it harder for moisture and bacteria to cause damage, but as we are talking credit crunch, a good glug of either soya or cod liver oil will do the trick.
GARDE CE TER L I D AV I S TA
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CLM©2008
HUGE RANGE OF: POTS GARDEN TOOLS PLANTS FLOWERS & SHRUBS GARDEN FURNITURE GARDEN ORNAMENTS
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Strange but true... Santa into space They've sent spiders, Luke Skywalker’s lightsaber, Scotty from Star Trek’s ashes and even salmonella into space. So it was probably about time someone sent up a potato – dressed as Father Christmas – in a fizzy drinks bottle – tied to a balloon. And it wasn’t experts at Nasa who did it but a bunch of children from Devon. The kids, launched Spudnik2 (Spudnik1 didn’t make it) tied to a helium weather balloon with a camera attached from a car park in the village of Landscove. IT expert Alex Henderson helped with the design and mechanics. It soared 27km (17 miles), with Santa at the helm, taking pictures of the Earth from the
edge of space. The balloon burst and Spudnik2 floated down, landing appropriately enough in a Christmas tree plantation, about 225km (140 miles) away in Hampshire. Robin Smith, headteacher at Landscove primary school, admitted it was a crazy idea but ‘The kids love doing things that are unusual, so if you tell them they will be launching a potato into space you really engage their interest. News of their space mission comes just a week after three Brits launched a paper aeroplane into space from Spain.
CAR STICKER WINNER
106.1FM THIS MONTH’S WINNING REGISTRATION NUMBER IS 7062 CTW WHO WINS €200!!! Prizes must be claimed within 30 days of publication of this magazine. To claim your prize please call: 952 462 092
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DidKYou now
• Kissing is healthier than shaking hands • Jaguars are frightened by dogs • Married men tip better than unmarried men • India never invaded any country in her history • 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 • Natural pearls melt in vinegar • Licorice (or liquorice) and avocado are among the food that sets the mood for love making • An olive tree can live up to 1500 years • The dial tone of a normal telephone is in the key of "F" • Cleopatra married two of her brothers • The tradition of brides carrying a bouquet of flowers started with the brides trying to hide their body odor • Buttermilk does not contain any butter • Before toilet paper was invented, French royalty wiped their bottoms with fine linen • The earth is about 6,588,000,000,000,000,000 tons in weight • There are 86,400 seconds in day • Ants never sleep • The human brain is 80% water • If you keep a Goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white • The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law that stated you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb • 'Jedi' is an official religion in Australia with over 70,000 followers • Chewing gum while peeling onions will reduce your tears • Dalmatians are born without spots • There are 318,979,564,000 possible combinations of the first four moves in Chess • Men’s shirts have the buttons on the right while women’s shirts have the buttons on the left • Roosters have to extend their necks in order to crow • Winston Churchill was born in a ladies toilet • Armadillos have four babies at a time and they are always all the same sex • If you are right handed, you will tend to chew food on your right side. If you are left handed, you likely to chew food on your left side • The bedroom is the most common place for sex and the car is second • Humans and bonobo monkeys (pygmy chimpanzee) are the only species who have face-toface sex • Everyday, 15 billion cigarettes are smoked worldwide • Hugo Boss designed some of the Nazi SS uniforms • Any free moving liquid in outer space will form itself into a sphere, because of its surface tension
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Tel: 627 812 987 Email: metacona@hotmail.com
Puzzle It Out
Solutions on page 80
Quick Crossword Across 1. Aquatic mammal (5) 4. Striped equine (5) 7. Watered (9) 8. Flows back (4) 10. Tennis stoke (5) Down 1. Relinquished (6) 2. Atmosphere (3) 3. Boundary of a surface (4) 4. Stringed instrument (6) 5. Confound (7) 6. Desiccated (4) 9. State of equilibrium (7)
Logic Puzzle
13. Arm bone (5) 14. Disparaging remark (4) 17. Essential (9) 19. Rear part of a ship (5) 20. Smooth fabric (5) 11. Bird of prey (6) 12. Implement for writing or drawing (6) 15. Optical device (4) 16. Small snakes (4) 18. Colony insect (3)
Sudoku
How many words can you make from the letters in the wheel? Each word must contain the hub letter G. Can you find a 9-letter word and at least 25 other words of four letters or more avoiding proper nouns?
Brain Teaser
64
Say What You See...
yyy MEN
WISH
My first is in horse but not in pony. My second is in coyote but not in jackal. My third is in shrew and also in vole. My fourth is in panda but not in bear. My last is in baboon but not in monkey. What am I?
A STAR
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he newly opened Riviera Dental Clinic is located in Riviera del sol behind C/C plaza, next to David’s bar. They already have a very well established Clinic in Fuengirola which is set within a hospital environment and have now brought their services to Riviera. The clinic has been open since May 2010 and since then they have been continually growing. They are committed to dental excellence and provide a warm welcoming atmosphere to all their patients. Riviera Dental Clinic treats all aspects of general, cosmetic, orthodontics and facial aesthetics. The highly experienced team members at Riviera Dental Clinic have many years of experience between them and are always continuing to keep updated in the latest dentistry and techniques as to be sure to offer patients the best option for them. They are highly experienced in dealing with nervous patients and also offer sedation for more anxious patients. To see how you could benefit from Riviera Dental Clinic's services. Give the Clinic a call, email or why not pop in. Telephone: 951 773 710 Email: rivieradentalclinic@gmail.com
K
itchen planning tips by KDS – The most important part of buying a kitchen is the planning. Take into account what shape the kitchen will be, how many of the family will be using it and how often. So to begin with an important factor to consider if whether you want a free standing kitchen or a fitted kitchen. A fitted kitchen takes full advantage of filling all those difficult corners and many areas can be adapted for use as extra storage it will also add value to your home as you won’t be able to take it with you should you decide to move. A free standing non fitted kitchen gives that individual and informal look you might want for your kitchen the advantage here is that you can take your furniture with you but free standing kitchens need careful planning and are not for the faint hearted. Never let anyone say it can’t be done designing a kitchen is more about common sense than a skill. If you want to move your sink form one area to another look and see if it is possible to recite your water supply and waste. Think about putting sinks in front of windows and will the tap interfere with opening the window, if so it will need a collapsible tap to keep costs down try to keep the layout of your new design within a reasonable distance to existing services ie: water or cooker points as it will cost more to get them resited. Always check the quality of the cabinets as a flimsy back to a cabinet means it is harder it install as they are very rarely square. Decide where things are going to be put in your new kitchen, plates, bowls , cooking dishes, then measure them to see it they will fit, for example some imported cabinets won’t take a standard dinner plate.
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Financial Economic & Currency News...
Review of Spain’s economy in 2010, Unemployment -The chart of unemployment levels
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in Spain for 2010, tell a clear and stark story. A straight upward climb from January’s 19% level, to the most recent figure at time of publication of 20.8% The statistic office of Spain is known for issuing misleading press releases in regards to employment figures. In October it was claimed unemployment had fallen to 19.79% in Quarter 3. However the correct season adjusted figure for September 2010 was 20.8%, the highest rate in the EU. Taking into account seasonal increase in tourist related employment during the summer, underlying employment in the private sector has shrunk significantly during 2010. Some critics say the Spanish labour market is too rigid, preventing employers from removing unproductive employees and putting upward pressure on unemployment as employers are wary of taking risks on new hires.
Property Prices - Once again, data on house pricing can be conflicting depending on which source you choose. Based on Spain’s National Statistic Institute, prices have continued to fall since the December 2007 peak. With an average 18% drop in prices from that date, this figure is only beaten in Europe by Ireland, where figures are down 37%. The European commission published a report in October stating that Spanish property prices are still overvalued by around 17%, when compared with the rest of the Euro-zone. However, it also states that the correction in European house prices is almost over. Spain may have actually corrected by more than the (unreliable) 18% officially ‘claimed’ by the statisticians, a figure of 30% would seem more accurate, which would put Spanish prices in line with European neighbours. StockMarket -After a strong recovery in 2009 from lows of 6750, to the December highs of 12200, the Spanish stockmarket index (IBEX 35) was moved mainly sideways in 2010. At the time of writing the index was at 10200 down 16% from the January highs, and up 17% from the June lows. Although the market has followed the rest of Europe, and inevitably the US to some degree. It has certainly underperformed when compared to it’s neighbours. It will be no surprise if the index finishes the year around the 10250 mark, which will be middleof-the road for the year as a whole. Other Figures Gross Domestic Product Growth Rate : Q1 +0.1%, Q2+0.2%, Q3 Unchanged. Inflation Rate YoY : Steadily risen from 1% in January to a two year high of 2.3% in October Euro Currency : Started the year around 0.9 to the pound, and dipped to 0.85 by November. Interest Rates : European Interest Rates have stayed steady at 1% in 2010. A full breakdown of all European statistics for 2010 can be found on the Eurostat European Commision website (ec.europa.eu/eurostat)
Written by our financial expert James Alexander. If you would like fully regulated independent financial advice please contact us – sales@costalinkmagazine.com or on 663 061 669.
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Golfing & Christmas
Four old timers were playing their weekly game of golf, and one remarked how nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and without an argument Go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies and play a round. His buddies all chimed in and said, "Let's do it! We'll make it a priority; figure out a way and meet here early, Christmas morning." Months later, that special morning arrives, and there they are on the golf course. The first guy says, "Boy this game cost me a fortune! I bought my wife such a diamond ring that she can't take her eyes off it." The second guy says, "I spent a ton too. My wife is at home planning the cruise I gave her. She was up to her eyeballs in brochures."
The third guy says "Well my wife is at home admiring her new car, reading the manual." They all turned to the last guy in the group who is staring at them like they have lost their minds. "I can't believe you all went to such expense for this golf game. I slapped my wife on the butt and said, 'Well babe, Merry Christmas! It's a great morning for sex or golf,' and she said, 'You'll need a sweater...'"
We stock a comprehensive range of trophies and awards for many different sports and pastimes, golf, football, lawn bowls, fishing, darts, tennis etc, etc.
Come and visit us on the lower sales floor at Sunshine Golf in La Cala de Mijas, next to the BP petrol station at KM 199 on the N340/A7. While you are there take advantage of our customised golf ball logo and embroidery service. All at great prices with rapid service.
Tel 952493709 Opening hours:- weekdays 10 - 18 (no siesta) Saturdays 10 - 14, Sundays closed.
CostaLinkMagazineŠ2010
Also we offer an engraving service for trophy plaques using the latest hi-tech engraving machine which can engrave logos, images and photos.
GREEN FEES 1st Dec 2010 – 15th Feb 2011 18 Holes 45.00€ 9 Holes 26.00€ 2 Ball Package 110.00€ (2 Green Fees & 1 Buggy) Twilight (18 Holes)
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Spikes Bar Breakfasts and a variety of snacks served daily from early till late. Speciality live entertainment nights every other Wednesday and every Sunday afternoon. For info on all events call the restaurant or see local posters.
Early Bird (18 Holes) 36.50€ (If booked 7 days in advance) SHARES FOR ONLY 2,500€
Restaurant Reservations: Tel: 952 931 941 / 952 932 545 Email: reservations@mirafloresgolfrestaurant.com
Includes: -Share ownership -Immediate membership -Unlimited golf for the rest of 2010 & the whole of 2011. -Competitions and Restaurant discounts.
Information on Shares: Tel: 952 934 095 Email: sonia@miraflores-golf.com
Miraflores Golf Club Urbanizacion Riviera Del Sol Mijas Costa, 29647, Malaga.
Golf Tips And Tricks Imagination, Set Up and Swing If any of these three are missing from your play shot routine then you will be an inconsistent golfer lacking on course confidence, every golfer heads for the practice ground to work on the swing but if you were to break the play shot routine down in to percentages it would be fair to say the swing makes up only 5% , that last thing you need to do to get the ball moving towards the target, this is how you should play a good golf shot. Imagine first, look at the shot you want to play, the yardage you will need and decide on the best way to play the shot together with the club you will use imagine the shot how it will fly where it will land and where the ball will come to rest, once you are committed to what you want to do and how you intend to do it then Set Up address the ball checking your aim, grip, stance, posture, alignment and ball position ensuring they are set correctly to play the shot as you want it , if you feel uncomfortable with your set up complete always step away and start again trust your instinct a bad set up will normally lead to a bad shot, with your set up correct Swing. Remember once you are on the golf course you are not just trying to hit the ball you are playing a shot even if you do not pull it off you must know what it is you are trying to do and be set in the right position to do it.
MARK SIBLEY
PGA GOLF PROFESSIONAL
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SANTA MARIA GOLF & COUNTRY CLUB Urb. Elviria, C.N.340 Km. 192 29604 Marbella (Malaga) Tel: 952 831 036 Fax: 952 834 797 E-Mail: caddymaster@santamariagolfclub.com Website: www.santamariagolfclub.com
Funny Christmas.....What gifts did the three wise men bring? Things About Sanjif, six: "The wise men brought coconut oil which was made of Kids coconut, some sweets and some gold." Jason, five: "The three wise men brought Jesus presents of gold, frankinSay: cense, smurr and silver. But I think he would have preferred wrestling toys." Daniel, seven: "I know for his birthday he got money and gold from the wise men but I would have given him a Liverpool kit." William, seven: "I don't know what presents the wise men brought Jesus but a Lego set would have been better."
What animals were there when baby Jesus was born? Matthew, six: "There were sheep, horses and a crocodile outside the stable." Ruby, six: "At his birth there were oxens, a donkey, three camels, three birds - all white and three cats, all black."
Who was the Angel Gabriel? Erin, six: "The Angel Gabriel is a big white fairy. He helped Mary and Joseph look after the baby - kind of like a doctor." Millie, seven: "I don't know who the angel is but I like Jesus."
Who is Jesus? Jay, five: "Jesus was a king and he wore a crown even though he was a baby. It was a really small crown." Antonia, seven: "Jesus is Mary and God's little boy." Zoe, six: "Jesus is really old and his birthday was on Christmas 2007 years ago." Sara, seven: "Jesus is a mystery man."
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Puzzle It Out Solutions From Pages
16 & 64 Just Say What You See Three Wise Men Wish Upon a Star
Logic Puzzle
9-letter word - ENIGMATIC Some other words of four letters or more containing the hub letter G: cage, gain, gait, game, gate, gent, geta, gnat (UK), giant, icing, image, magic, mange, tinge, acting, aiming, citing, eating, enigma, ignite, magnet, mating, taming, timing, imagine, mintage, teaming, magnetic.
Trivia Quiz Answers 1. 26th December 2. Jacob Marley 3. Holiday Inn 4. Norway 5. Ladies dancing 6. Comet, Cupid, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Donner, Blitzen (or Dunder and Blixem).
Rudolph was created later in 1939 by copywriter Robert May for the Montgomery Ward department store chain, as the main character in a free Christmas promotional story, which extended the 1923 poem, and was subsequently turned into the popular song Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
7. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen 8. The Nightmare before Christmas 9. White 10. Clarence (Oddbody) 11. Balthasar, Melchior, Caspar (or Gaspar)
12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20.
Hogmanay Christmas cracker 1984 Turkey Dr Seuss Mexico Robert Burns Six Panettone
Brain Teaser Answer: A hyena. The 1st letter can be: H R S E The 2nd letter can be: C O Y T E The 3nd letter can be: E The 4nd letter can be: P N D The 5nd letter can be: B A
Crossword Solution
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ATTENTIION ATTENTION
T he Jokes page
page
A Christmas Gift A guy's wife was nagging him hard for a four-wheeler but still he bought her a beautiful extravagant diamond ring for Christmas. The husband's friend was amazed at his decision and asked him in secret, "Why couldn't you buy a car instead of the diamond ring?" The husband smiled and answered, "Fake cars are not easy to find." What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes. Little Billy saw that all his Christmas presents were always signed, 'from Father Christmas.' A little while after Billy had opened all his presents on Christmas morning, his parents became aware that he was looking quite down in the mouth for no obvious reason. 'What's the matter, they asked. 'Ummmm, 'replied Billy slowly, 'I really hoped that you would give me something for Christmas.' Why was Santa's little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem.
How do snowmen get around? On their icicles.
Darren remembers accompanying his father out shopping in the local toy store one Christmas Eve. Dad said, 'What a marvellous train set. I'll buy it.' The girl behind the counter looked pleased and murmured, 'Great, I'm sure your son will really love it.' Dad replied with a glint in his eye, 'Maybe you're right. In that case I'll take two.' There was once a great czar in Russia named Rudolph the Red. He stood looking out the windows of is palace one day while his wife, the Czarina Katerina, sat nearby knitting. He turned to her and said, "Look my dear, it has begun to rain!" Without even looking up from her knitting she replied, "It's too cold to rain. It must be sleeting." The Czar shook his head and said, "I am the Czar of all the Russias, and Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"
It was just before Christmas and the magistrate was in a happy mood. He asked the prisoner who was in the dock, 'What are you charged with?' The prisoner replied, 'Doing my Christmas shopping too early.' 'That's no crime', said the mag istrate. J' ust how early were you doing this shopping?' 'Before the shop opened', answered the prisoner. Good King Wenceslas phoned Domino's for a pizza. The salesgirl asked him:'Do you want your usual? Deep pan, crisp and even?'
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S TA R S I GN S
A look at what's in store for you during December.....
Capricorn
Aquarius
Pisces
Aries
Taurus
Gemini
Your pet hate is plans that don't come together the way they should. Fortunately, you pride yourself on always having Plan B ready. That will come in handy during the first half of the month but you'll recover, and you may even appreciate those missed appointments. They'll give you some much-needed time to yourself! The beginning of December will be busy as usual for the holidays, and you'll have your share of invitations to wonderful parties. This may be a bit of a challenge for you, since you're not exactly famous for displays of emotions, but not to worry someone delightful will help you make the transition. The lights, the music, the generous mood that most people are in - are just some of the reasons you adore the holiday season. This year, you'll have some extra reasons to wear that grin, though. For starters, you will have all kinds of creative ideas to truly celebrate the season in style. You are always game to try anything, ready to take a chance, and you tend to leap well before you look - if you look at all. It's a given you'll have some serious fun, which could make it tough to bring your plans to fruition. You're adaptable, and you'll make the best of every moment. You love to shop, especially around the holiday season. This month, however, it will be tough for you to find the best deals, which is what you pride yourself on. Get the majority of your shopping done early but if you canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t, try the weekend of the 17th, to find the "real deals." Although you may have to queue a bit longer! You can start something brand new with someone you've adored for a long time, start over with someone you've been attached to for just as long, or give yourself freedom if that's what you've been craving. Regardless of your choice, this will energise and revitalize all your relationships, which is a great way to celebrate the holidays.
Cancer
Leo
Virgo
Libra
Scorpio
Tis the season - for you to do what you do best: entertain your friends and family in your cozy, welcoming nest. You may run into a couple of snags this month, if you can't make all of your appointments, take a breath, relax, look around at the lovely atmosphere you've created, and forget about the details. If you're single, which of all those charming holiday offers should you accept, and which should you respectfully decline? It won't be easy. If you're attached, you should consider doing some entertaining of your own. Either way, it will be subject to all kinds of lastminute changes. Fortunately, you just love change, so this will work out well. This is quite the "interesting" holiday season. If there's someone out there you haven't seen in a while, you can bet they'll turn up, with bells on (maybe even literally). Just be sure that first kiss on New Year's Eve is given to someone you adore! Don't think of the juggling act you'll be doing as unpleasant - just a tad more challenging than usual. Basically, you'll surprise even yourself at what you say; especially if you're surprised by the appearance of loved ones you haven't seen in far too long. Oh, don't hold back. It's the holidays! We're supposed to be emotional. You pride yourself on using just exactly the words you need to get your point across, - no more, no less, but, you may not be able to get your point across with that usual razor-sharp wit - Don't panic. It will only last for a week, and then you'll have a wonderful surprise waiting for you.
Is there anything you love more than the holidays? The nonstop shopping, being as extravagant as you like, and the grin on your face that just won't wipe off? Well, this year, you'll be able to do it all in a particularly guilt-free mood. Sagittarius Prepare to surprise even yourself at what you'll do to spoil someone you love.
E d ’ s D r e a m C a r G a r a g e ..... The McLaren F1 set the record for the fastest production car in the world, 240 mph (391 km/h) in 1998. It has only been surpassed by only four other production cars in sheer top speed, but is still the fastest naturally aspirated production car ever. The Jaguar XKSS was a roadgoing version of the Jaguar DType racing car. After Jaguar withdrew from racing they offered the remaining, unfinished chassis as the road going Jaguar XKSS, by making changes to the racers. However a fire broke out at the factory destroying all of the tooling and nine of the twenty-five cars that had already been completed or were semi-completed. The 16 XKSSs that were not destroyed remain the rarest Jaguars ever built. The Rolls Royce Phantom Black tie edition is the ultimate in luxury travel. Just perfect for turning up at those events I would be invited to if I could afford a car like this!!!! The Audi Quattro was the first rally car to take advantage of the then-recently changed rules which allowed the use of four-wheel drive in competition racing. It won competition after competition for the next two years. It changed rallying for ever and this is seen today in the Subarus and Mitsubishis .The Audi Sport Quattro was developed for homologation purposes in 1984, It featured an 2,133 cc 20v DOHC engine and was capable of producing 302 bhp), It most noticeably had a 320 mm (12.6 in) shorter wheelbase. A total of 224 cars of this "short version" Sport Quattro were built, and were offered for sale at a huge price of 203850 DM (105,000€) The 1963 Aston Martin DB5 was an improved DB4. The DB5 is famous for being the first and most recognised James Bond car It produced 282 bhp propelling the car to 145 mph (233 km/h), the 0–60 mph (97 km/h) time was 7.1 s. Standard equipment on the DB5 included reclining seats, pile carpets, electric windows and a fire extinguisher. All models had 4 seats and 2 doors. The UK recommended list price of the sports saloon (coupe) in December 1963 was £4,248 including Purchase Tax
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