Costa link magazine february 2014

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:17 PM Page 1

M

a

g

February Febr uar y 2014 2014 No83

The worst kept secret on the Costa del Sol

ccostadelhome.com ostadelhome.com Inspired Inspired Property Search

page page 40 40

Computer Computer Problems?

Pro oblems? w ec an h elp p..... we can help....

Page 61

a

z

i

n

e

Business Directory What’s On Guide Puzzles & Quizzes Horoscopes Local Info Kids Page Jokes

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:17 PM Page 2

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:17 PM Page 3

i

IRONWORKS High quality metal at factory prices Established since 1989

Protect Your Home Windows Door Rejas

Protect Your Family Patio Rejas Drive Gates Etc.

FACTORY DIRECT ANY COLOUR - ANY DESIGN URBANISATION THEMES IF YOU CAN GET LIKE FOR CHEAPER WE WILL REFUND THE DIFFERENCE

‘The most respected British steelwork company in Spain’

BECAUSE WHEN IT COMES TO HOME SECURITY “IRONWORKS” VISIT OUR WEBSITE FOR PRICES & MORE EXTENSIVE CATALOGUE

WWW.IRONWORKSINSPAIN.COM ironworksinspain@yahoo.co.uk

TELEPHONE

678 691 393

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:17 PM Page 4

Love, Love, Love is all you need...

We’ve gone all mushy this month – hopeless romantics that we are!

Don’t forget to get down to Party Party for your valentines cards and gifts.

It seems we are in for a busy one this month kicking off with The Superbowl on Sunday the 2nd then we have The Malaga Carnival 2nd to the 10th and the Winter Olympics will keep us glued to the TV between the 7th and the 23rd – that should be interesting once they have thrown in some fake snow and added it to the snow that they have stored from last year – it sounds amazing!!

One other thing - happy Chinese New Year we are now in the year of the Horse!!!

It’s half term this month if you would like to get the ankle bitters out of the house for a day or the week, the Mulitsports club in Nueva Andalucia have a number of distractions to wear the little darlings out!

I think that’s it for the month going to go and have a tentative first beer…

Been good throughout January! Have a fab month with lots of love ed xxx

nk!

Everyone Loves the Costa Li CAR PAGE

Like us...

Facebook...

44

Guide

W ha t’ s On

Puzzles

66

TH E JOKES PA GE

68

Contact Us Call: 951 216 131 or 663 061 669 Email: sales@costalinkmagazine.com Website: www.costalinkmagazine.com 58

70

Skype: costalink.magazine Tweet: @costa_link Deposito Legal: MA-228-2007 Deadline Date: 18th of each month

No part of this publication, including layout, graphic design or pictures may be copied, SCANNED, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. Costa Link Magazine accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors. All rights reserved © 2013.

costa link magazine

WILL NO LONGER ACCEPT ADVERTISING FROM THE FOLLOWING BUSINESSES OR INDIVIDUALS: wMATTHEW JAMES REMOVALS

wWILLIAM “BREW” BLACKMER - KIDZ KINGDOM

wCLAUDE SEYFFERS - FINCA LA CAPUCINE, MIJAS

wFRENK KERENS - BICAR IMPORT/EXPORT SL, MIDOS 4

to advertise in costa link magazine please call 951 216 131

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:17 PM Page 5

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:17 PM Page 6

A Woman’s World Happy Valentines Day!

6

MEN AND THIER FEET...

The woman replied.....

A woman went into a bar in Texas and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table.

He had the biggest feet she’d ever seen.

The woman asked the cowboy if it’s true what they say about men with big feet.

The cowboy grinned and said, “Sure is, little lady!

Why don’t you come on out to the bunk house and let me prove it to you!”

The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him.

The next morning she handed him a $100 bill.

Blushing, he said, “Well, thank ya Ma’am.

I’m real flattered. Ain’t nobody ever paid me fer mah services before."

“Don’t be flattered. Take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit"

GIRLS ARE THIER BOTTOMS...

There is a new study about women and how they feel about their arses.

The results were pretty interesting: 30% of women think their arse is too fat...

10% of women think their arse is too skinny...

The remaining 60% say they don't care, they love him anyway fat or skinny, and wouldn't trade him for the world.

A lady of advanced age goes for her annual physical examination. She returns home and tells her husband that the doctor told her she has the body of a 30 year old woman. Her husband responds, "And what did he say about your big arse?" She replied quickly, "Your name never came up, dear."

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:17 PM Page 7

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:17 PM Page 8

HOT GOSS!

IS CELEBRITY BIG BROTHER FAKED? Viewers are questioning the authenticity of Celebrity Big Brother after a crew member was spotted in the house prompting contestants during a task. The public have always been led to believed that both contestants in Big Brother and the celebrity version of the show have zero contact with the outside world during their time in the house. However that illusion has since been shattered after an eagle-eyed viewer spotted a member of the show's production team holding cue cards for the contestants during Big Brother's Bit On The Side. This year's housemates have arguably been among the most scandalous, with thanks to Blue's Lee Ryan and his love triangle with Jasmine Waltz and Casey Batchelor. What do you think have you been gripped do you love it or hate it, do you think it’s faked?

ADELE’S GOING ON A WORLD TOUR IN 2015! Great news Adele fans!

Our Adele is hitting the road in 2015 for a world tour. A WORLD TOUR! The multiaward-winning star has been concentrating on being a mum to son Angelo for the past two years so we haven’t seen much of her since she released her multi-platinum-selling album, 21, in 2011. (Apart from Skyfall, of course.) But that’s all about to change. We can’t wait...

Come to Spain PLEASE! BABY NUMBER 7? Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are reportedly planning a new addition to their massive and ridiculously good-looking family. The couple – who already have to fight 12-year-old Maddox, ten-year-old Pax, nine-year-old Zahara, Shiloh, 7, and five-year-old twins Knox and Vivienne for space in front of the TV – are looking to add to their family again, a source told Grazia Magazine last month.

They are visting Ethiopia in the next few months to check on the proceedings at the clinic they are building. But they will visit orphanages at the same time. They hope to have everything in place to go ahead with the adoption around April.

8

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:17 PM Page 9

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:18 PM Page 10

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:19 PM Page 11

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:19 PM Page 12

HOT GOSS USA...

IS BRUCE JENNER’S SEX CHANGE UNDER WAY? Radar on-line has been reporting that amazingly... Bruce Jenner underwent a “laryngeal shave” procedure earlier this month to soften the appearance of his Adam’s apple, in what could be the latest step in his quest to allegedly become a woman! According to a new report and photos from the National ENQUIRER, the former Olympic champ entered The Beverly Hills Surgical Center in the early morning hours of January the19th to have the procedure with famed plastic surgeon Dr. Stephen J. Pincus.We have nothing confirmed so far - We will stay on the case though... Not sure we want to be keeping up with the Kardashians now though...

SHAKEUP IN BEVERLY HILLS... Brandi Glanville Worried She’s On The Housewives Chopping Block. She’s one of the most controversial cast members on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, but Brandi Glanville might be too much for the Bravo show and the single mother is worried producers might give her the axe after the current season.The 90210 is potentially under a major shakeup for the next season, with honchos looking to also get rid of Kim Richards, whose loyal sister Kyle might follow suit. Glanville, 40, has been at the center of numerous cast feuds with Joyce Giraud, Lisa Vanderpump and the woman now married to her ex-husband Eddie Cibrian after he was caught cheating with her, LeAnn Rimes.

SACRÉ BLEU! KIM KARDASHIAN & KANYE WEST WON’T BE ALLOWED TO HAVE WEDDING AT VERSAILLES! Kim Kardashian and Kanye West visited the Palace of Versailles, in hopes of having their over-the-top wedding at the iconic landmark, but apparently officials have denied the request, forcing the couple to continue the search. West has often talked about Kardashian as his queen and it looks like he’s trying to give her a royal wedding!

DRAIN & LEAK SOLUTIONS S.L.

High Pressure water jetting Drain tracing, C.C.T.V. Septic tank problems and installations Bath, sinks and toilets unblocked Leak detection and repairs

Fully Qualified, Fully Legal, No Call Out Fee.

Tel: 951 310 111 12

Mobile: 651 111 005

www.drainandleak.com

CLM©2012

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:19 PM Page 13

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:19 PM Page 14

FALLING IN

LOVE…

One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mum! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a mile away and her name is Gemma. After dinner, George's dad took him aside, "Son, I have to talk with you. Look at your mother, George. She and I have been married 30 years, she's a wonderful wife and mother, but she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with a lot of other women.

“Gemma is actually your half sister, and I’m afraid you can’t marry her George was brokenhearted. After eight months he eventually started dating girls again. A year later he came home and very proudly announced, "Diane said yes! We're getting married in June." Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news. "Diane is your half sister too, George. "I'm awfully sorry about this."

George was livid! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news his father had shared. "Dad has done so much harm. I guess I'm never going to get married," he complained. "Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half sister." "Hee hee," his mother chuckled, shaking her head, "Don't pay any attention to what he says. He's not really your father."

14

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:19 PM Page 15

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:19 PM Page 16

{HOW ODD... { Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" { Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? { Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes out of its bottom." { Why is there a light in the fridge but never in the freezer? { LADIES Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you get undressed considering what happens next? { If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? { If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? { Why does the Alphabet song (ABC song) and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Stop singing and read on . . . { have you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets annoyed with you, but when you take him out in the car, he sticks his head out the window? { Does pushing the lift button more than once make it arrive faster? { If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all those Acme products, why didn't he just buy dinner? { When lightning strikes the at sea why don’ t all the fish die?

16

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:19 PM Page 17

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:19 PM Page 18

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:20 PM Page 19

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:20 PM Page 20

TRIVIA QUIZ

1) What is Beyoncé and Jay Z daughter called?

2) Who was named Sports Personality of the Year in 2013?

3) The letters DDR are the initials of which countries name?

4) Who wrote ‘The Invisible Man’?

5) The star sign Scorpio covers which 2 months?

6) Which type of animals were the Teenage Mutant Ninja’s?

7) Who was the outgoing Prime Minister when David Cameron came to power?

8) Which is thicker, Pearl or Double knitting?

9)In the fairytale, the princess had to remember the name of whom?

10) In athletics, what does ‘PB’ stand for if shown next to an athlete’s name?

11) Who plays Walden Schmidt

20

in the TV show two and a half men?

12) Who was the Greek God of time?

13) What musical instrument did Sherlock Holmes play?

14) What starts an ice hockey match?

15) What is the only anagram of ‘catalogue’?

16) Who are the TV presenter’s of ‘Strictly Come Dancing’?

17) In which decade was Paul Newman born?

18) What is carnophobia the fear of?

19) What is the birthstone for March?

20) The Caspian Sea isn’t a sea at all, what is it?

21) Hawkes, Champagne and Prince Albert are all types of which fruit?

22)What is the most common colour of amethyst?

23)What colour is the inside of a pistachio nut?

24)Who was (is) known as the Iron Duke?

25) Which famous ocean liner had its maiden voyage in 1946?

26) What is the capital of Sri Lanka?

27) What year was the atomic bomb dropped on Hiroshima?

28) Which is darker, Demarara or Muscavado?

29) What is the chemical symbol for ice?

30) What were the gangs called in West Side Story?

Answers on page 76

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:12 PM Page 21

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:12 PM Page 22

it’s a record breaker...

Women...

Car Parking: The smallest kerbside space sucessfully reversed into by a woman, was one of 19.36m equivalent to three standard parking spaces, by Mrs. E. Simpkins (GB) driving an unmodified Dacia Duster on 12th October 2013. She started the manoeuvre at 11:15am in Ropergate, Pontefract and successfully parked within three feet of the pavement, 8 hours 14mins later. There was slight damage to the bumpers and wings of her own and the two adjoining cars, as well as shop frontage and two lamp posts.

Incorrect Driving: The longest journey completed with the handbrake on, was one of 313 miles from Stranraer to Hollyhead, by Dr. Julie Thorn, at the wheel of a Ford Focus on 2nd April 2009. Dr. Thorn smelled burning two miles into her journey at Aird, but pressed on to Hollyhead with smoke billowing from the rear wheels. This journey also holds the records for the longest completed with the right indicator flashing.

Traffic Light Cosmetics: The longest spell spent oblivious to traffic lights whilst applying make up was one of 1hr 51mins 38secs. by Miss J. Dobson at a road junction in the centre of Preston on the 1st August 1975. Miss Dobson, a piano teacher, beautified herself through 212 cycles of the light, creating a tailback of irate motorists stretching 28 miles towards Leeds.

Group Toilet Visit: The record for the largest group of women to visit a toilet similtaniously is held by 147 workers at the dept. of Social Security, Long Benton. At their annual celebration at a nightclub in Newcastle upon Tyne on 12th Oct 2008 Mrs. Beryl Crabtree got up to go to the toilet and was immediately followed by 146 other members of the party. Moving a mass the group entered the toilet at 9:52pm and after waiting for everyone to finish, emerged 2hrs 37mins later.

22

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:12 PM Page 23

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:12 PM Page 24

it’s a record breaker...

con’ t

men...

Beer Drinking: The greatest amount of beer drunk before going to the lavatory was 25.5 litres (45 pints of assorted weak lagers, by Mr. George Wingfield downed in various pubs in Knutsford high street, Cheshire beteween 12:15pm and 2:38pm on 22nd December 2013.

Urinating: The longest pee delivered at one continuous scoot was one of 36 mins 24secs by Mr George Wingfield (GB) in the doorway of a newsagents shop in Knutsford high street on 22nd December 2013. Mr Wingfield was arrested and charge with a public order offence 17 mins into his record attempt, but arresting officers had to wait a further 19mins 24sec before taking him back to the station.

Hottest Curry Eaten: Many claims are made about the ferocity of curries eaten, but in the main they are difficult to substanciate. The hottest verifiable curry eaten was a XXXHot Chicken Murg Thaal with extra chillies consumed by George Wingfield (GB) at the Bengal Tiger Restaurant, Knutsford on 23rd December 2013. The curry was reportedly so hot that between kitchen and table it burst into flames, singeing the waiters eyebrows.

Biggest Fart: The largest and most catastrophic fart was one dropped by Mr. George Wingfield (GB) in the car park of the Dog and Duck, Knutsford, on the morning of the 24th December 2013. Suffering from terrible guts Mr. Wingfield gingerly attempted to squeeze one out whilst bending to pick up his car keys, but the resulting flatulant explosion blew his entire digestive tract out of his bottom. Attending firemen hosed down his smoking guts for two hours before paramedics with breathing aparatus could begin the process of pushing them back up.

24

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:12 PM Page 25

In Introducing troducing t the he a all ll ne new wP Powakaddy owakadd ddy y F Freeway reeway Digital Digital a available av vailable in Black Black or W White hite a and nd wi with th L Lithium ithium or l lead ead owakadd years a acid cid B Battery. attery. P Powakaddys ddy ys years of e xperience wi th el ectric experience with electric t rolleys h as j ust trolleys has just go t bet ter. got better.

New New sof softt ttouch ouch ambid ambidextrous extrous digit digital al hand handle le with with 9 speeds and res responsive ponsive speed control control roller roller

Electronic dis tance function function send the trolley trolley on Electronic distance yards ahead bbyy 15,30 15,30 or 45 yards

Unique Unique int interchangeable erchangeable built built in battery battter y bat connection ffor or both Lead Acid Acid & Lithium Lithium batteries batteries

Powerful Power ful yyet et quie quiett mot motor or

Padded Padded Bag stay, stay, hold hold all bags and reduces reduces twist twist

gget et a 15% 15% discount by by quoting Ref Ref CLM CLM

For More Information: F or M ore Inf ormation: frank@powakaddy.es f rank@powakaddy.es +34-952-882-688 +3 4-952-882- 688 +34-635-545-205 +3 4- 635 - 545 -205

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:12 PM Page 26

it must be love...

A Thoughtful Valentine's Day Gift: Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day. Yes,' came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, 'I've bought her a belt and a bag. ‘That was very kind of you,' Jim added, 'I hope she appreciated the thought.' Tony smiled as he replied, 'So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now.'

What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? Forget-me-nuts.

How long have you been married? When a woman on the staff of the school where I worked became engaged, a friend and colleague offered her some advice.

'The first ten years are the hardest.' 'How long have you been married?' she asked. 'Ten years', he replied.

Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because it couldn't get a date.

My One And Only: Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a very smart jeweller's shop. The jeweller inquired, 'Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?' Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, 'No, instead engrave "To my one and only love".'

The jeweller smiled and said, 'Yes, sir; how very romantic of you.' Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, 'Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again.'

26

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:12 PM Page 27

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:12 PM Page 28

Stocking only the very best in ladies fashion including leading quality designer labels Sizes from 10 to 20

(other sizes can be ordered)

Extensive Sales Rack.

Opening Times: Monday - Friday 11am - 6pm Saturday 11am - 3pm

Tel: 952 927 245

Avda. del Mediterraneo 4, San Pedro de Alcรกntara (near Da Bruno Restaurant, opposite the Fishing Boat)

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:13 PM Page 29

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:13 PM Page 30

10 THINGS YOU ONLY DO WHEN DRUNK...

A Man’s World

1: THINK YOU CAN PERFORM STUNTS When you've had too much alcohol the world looks like Lara Croft's obstacle course from Tomb Raider 2. On weekends A&E departments are filled with accidents that people have had on a night out never mind New Year’s Eve. From broken ankles from drunken races to broken necks from seven story falls, hospitals have seen them all. Some aren't just daredevil stunts either: When you've had a few too many it's easy to think that you're Johnny Knoxville to impress some girls, but you're probably just going to end up sat on the ground in pain wishing you'd thought it through.

2: FALLING OVER This goes hand in hand with the above. When you reach the falling stage of drunk you know that there's no going back. Once you can't stand, that's it, everything else is a write off. A lot of us try our best not to get in this state, but waking up with pub wounds is always a sign of a good night out.

3: EAT A KEBAB There's just something so appealing to drunk people about a sweaty chunk of meat that's been rotating, heating up and cooling down for probably days on end. You usually wouldn't go anywhere near one of them sober, but a couple of shots and your taste buds suddenly mutate.

It does however contain vegetables, does that make it healthier than fried chicken?

No. But if you haven't eaten a vegetable since Christmas dinner you’ll feel like it’s the healthier option. It’s not.

4: STEAL A CONE Construction and drunk people, two very common things in town centres that always lead to the inevitable. Like an ancient relic it sits there, just waiting for somebody with enough guts to come along and take it. Every day we walk past them, and don't look twice. But when we're drunk a cone has many new purposes. It’s a perfect microphone for rapping on a quiet neighbourhood street at 3am, it's the Olympic torch, it's a lightsaber... the list goes on.

CONTINUED NEXT MONTH...

30

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:22 PM Page 31

Health Well Being &

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:22 PM Page 32

5 WAYS TO STAY HEALTHY THIS WINTER

3. EAT MORE FRUIT AND VEG When it’s cold and dark outside it can be tempting to fill up on unhealthy comfort food, but it’s important to ensure that you still keep your diet healthy and include five portions of fruit and veg a day. If you find yourself craving a sugary treat, try a juicy clementine or satsuma instead, or sweet dried fruits such as dates or raisins.

IT MAY BE COLDER OUTSIDE BUT WINTER NEEDN'T BE THE UNHEALTHIEST TIME OF YEAR FOR YOU A YOUR FAMILY. Here are five ways to make sure that even when your body is telling you to hibernate you can keep healthy and fit, no matter what the weather's like: 4. TRY NEW ACTIVITIES FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY Don’t 1. ELIMINATE YOUR SLEEP DEBT On average we sleep use the cold winter months as an excuse to stay in and six-and-a-half hours a night, much less than the seven lounge around. Instead, get out with the whole family to to nine hours recommended. A good night's sleep is try out a new activity, maybe ice-skating or taking a winhighly beneficial to health and wellbeing. But in winter, ter walk on the beach. Regular exercise helps to control we naturally sleep more, due to the longer nights. It’s your weight, boost your immune system and is a good perfectly natural to adopt hibernating habits when the way to break the tension that can build if the family is weather turns cold, use the time to catch up. constantly cooped up inside the house.

2. DRINK MORE MILK You are 80% more likely to get a cold in winter so making sure your immune system is in tip-top condition is important. Milk and dairy products such as cheese, yoghurt and fromage frais are great sources of protein and vitamins A and B12. They're also an important source of calcium, which helps keep our bones strong.

5. HAVE A HEARTY BREAKFAST Winter is the perfect season for porridge. Eating a warm bowlful on a cold morning isn’t just a delicious way to start your day, it also helps you to boost your intake of starchy foods and fibre, which give you energy and help you to feel fuller for longer, stopping the temptation to snack mid-morning.

SANITAS HEALTH INSURANCE Whether you require a worldwide policy, or healthcare for Spain only, Sanitas have the solution The Xanit & The Hospiten Estepona are now covered by Sanitas Health Plans to Suit all Budgets

32

Contact your English Agent, Susan Warner T: 951 272 124 M: 615 655 348 www.medisurespain.com info@medisurespain.com

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:22 PM Page 33

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:22 PM Page 34

Medical Tips

10 Health Screenings All Women Should Consider

A Women’s health depends on a lot of factors. Every woman should make time for healthy habits, regular exercise, stress management, choosing the right foods as well as scheduling routine health screenings so potential problems can be identified early. In fact, health screenings can make keeping tabs on your health simple.

So what screenings should you, be considering?

1. Blood pressure screening. Starting at age 18, every woman needs to have her blood pressure checked at least every two years. This health screening involves wrapping a cuff around the arm and pumping it up tightly.

Ideal blood pressure for women is less than 120/80 mmHg (millimeters of mercury).

2. Cholesterol check. Women should have their cholesterol checked at least every five years starting at about age 20. This screening is important for decreasing the risk of heart disease, the test only involves drawing a blood sample. This can be done as a quick cholesterol screenings, involving nothing but a finger-prick. If you get a high reading on this screening test, you should be referred to your healthcare practitioner for more complete testing. The ideal level is below 200 mg/dL (milligrams per deciliter) for total cholesterol.

3. Cervical smears and pelvic exams. Recommended to commence when a women becomes sexually active, they need to have a pelvic exam and cervical smear every year to check for any abnormalities in the reproductive system. To take the cervical smear, a speculum is placed inside the vagina to widen the vaginal canal, and your healthcare practitioner uses a small spatula to take cells from the cervix to detect any cell changes that can lead to cervical cancer. The cervical smear test is often combined with the CA125 blood test to check for Ovarian Cancer which is often referred to as the silent killer as the symptoms are often misdiagnosed.

4. Mammograms and breast exams. Starting around age 20, women should have a physical breast examination at least every three years until age 40, when this should be done annually, according to most experts.

The screening process should include a physical examination and health education as well as an ultrasound or /and mammogram. Current European guidelines recommend 2 yearly breast screening for all women aged 40 plus.

5. Bone density screen. Women should start getting screened for osteoporosis with a bone density test at age 65. Women with risk factors for osteoporosis, such as having a slender frame or a fractured bone, should be screened earlier. For this test, you lie on the table while a scanning machine takes X-ray images of certain bones in your body. Healthy bones show a T-score (the measurement used to describe your bone density) of -1 or higher. The frequency of this health screening varies from woman to woman based on bone density and risk factors.

6. Blood glucose tests. Women should get a blood glucose test every three years starting at age 40 to test for diabetes or pre-diabetes. Before age 45, you may need to have your blood glucose levels tested if you have symptoms of diabetes or several risk factors.

7. Colon cancer screening. Colon cancer screening tests for women generally start’s at the age of 50, but is dependent of many factors, such as family history. Screening for Colon cancer can vary from a simple stool sample to a blood test or the more traditional tests are the flexible sigmoidoscopy or colonoscopy.

8. Body mass index. A full yearly physical exam includes measurements of your height and weight and a calculation of your body mass index (BMI). You can also calculate your BMI at home using an online BMI calculator which help’s indicate obesity and the risk of serious health conditions like diabetes and heart disease.

9. Skin examination. Women should examine their skin every month starting at age 18, and by the time they’re 20, a healthcare practitioner should conduct the examination during a routine check-up. Women should carefully inspect the skin all over their bodies, looking for any new moles or changes to existing moles to spot the early signs of skin cancer.

10. Dental check-up. Good dental health is important from the moment your first baby tooth sprouts, and all adult women need twice-yearly dental check-ups and cleaning. Regular dental check-ups, which involve examining the teeth and sometimes taking X-rays, can keep teeth healthy and spot early signs of decay or any problems with the mouth or teeth.

34

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:22 PM Page 35

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:22 PM Page 36

Doctors Notes...

These are doctors' notes on patients' charts: Actual notes - unedited!

1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

2. She is numb from her toes down.

3. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

4. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.

5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

6. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

8. The patient refused an autopsy.

9. The patient has no past history of suicides.

10. Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

11. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her adult life, until she got a divorce.

12. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

14. Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up.

15. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.

16. While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

17. The skin was moist and dry.

18. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

19. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

20. Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid. (ouch!)

Medi$BSF JT DPNNJUUFE UP QSPWJEJOH RVBMJUZ Medi $BSF JT DPNNJUUFE UP QSPWJEJOH RVBMJUZ JJO FWFSZ BTQFDU PG DBSF BOE TVQQPSU JO UJNFT O FWFSZ BTQFDU PG DBSF BOE TVQQPSU JO UJNFT PG OFFE BWBJMBCMF JO UIF DPNGPSU BOE TBGFUZ P G OFFE BWBJMBCMF JO UIF DPNGPSU BOE TBGFUZ PG ZPVS PXO IPNF P G ZPVS PXO IPNF

t " GVMMZ MFHBM SFHVMBUFE $PNQBOZ t " GVMMZ MFHBM SFHVMBUFE $PNQBOZ " UFBN PG GVMMZ SFHVMBUFE 6, USBJOFE /VSTFT $BSFST tt " UFBN PG GVMMZ SFHVMBUFE 6, USBJOFE /VSTFT $BSFST A FREE ) tt A )PNF #BTFE )FBMUI "TTFTTNFOU PNF #BTFE )FBMUI "TTFTTNFOU " DPNQMFUF DBSF TFSSWWJDF tt " DPNQMFUF DBSF TFSWJDF

5IF BU Medi$BSF VOEFSTUBOE 5 IF UUFBN FBN B U Medi $BSF V OEFSTUBOE UUIF IF " " GVMM SBOHF PG TFSWJDFT DPWFSJOH GVMM SBOHF PG TFSSWWJDFT DPWFSJOH OFFE UP TFF BMM PG PVS DMJFOUT BT JOEJWJEVBMT O FFE UP TFF BMM PG PVS DMJFOUT BT JOEJWJEVBMT t 1PTU PQFSBUJWF DBSF SFIBCJMJUBUJPO t 1PTU PQFSBUJWF DBSF SFIBCJMJUBUJPO

BOE UBJMPS FWFSZ DBSF QBDLBHF UP NFFU ZPVS B OE UBJMPS FWFSZ DBSF QBDLBHF UP NFFU ZPVS tt 4USPLF 3FIBCJMJUBUJPO 4USPLF 3FIBCJMJUBUJPO TTQFDJmD OFFET QFDJmD OFFET tt 1BMMJBUJWF $BSF 1BMMJBUJWF $BSF tt 0SUIPQBFEJD 3FIBCJMJUBUJPO 0SSUUIPQBFEJD 3FIBCJMJUBUJPO Established on the Costa del Sol since 2001 tt 3FTQJUF $BSF 3FTQJUF $BSF TTelephone: elephone: 952 835 776 tt %JTUSJDU /VSTJOH 4FSWJDFT %JTUSJDU /VSTJOH 4FSWJDFT 24 Hour Helpline: 667 733 520 tt (FOFSBM $BSF 4VQQPSU -JWF *O $BSF (FOFSBM $BSF 4VQQPSU -JWF *O $BSF tt &TDPSUFE 3FQBUSJBUJPO )PNF &TDPSSUUFE 3FQBUSJBUJPO )PNF www.medicarenursingservices.com www.medicarenursingservices.com Q Quality uality iinn eevery very aaspect spect ooff ccare are aass w well ell aass ssupport upport iinn ttimes imes ooff nneed! eed! info@medicarenursingservices.com info@medicarenursingservices.com

36

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:22 PM Page 37

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:22 PM Page 38

Top 10 facts about ALCOHOL

Did you give up your nightly tipple last month? If you did and have started drinking again this month maybe a few of these facts will make you give it up for life… Here are the top 10 facts about it!

1. Sediment found in a pottery jar excavated in the Zagros mountains of northern Iran indicate that man was drinking a retsina-like wine in 5000BC. 2 There is also some evidence suggesting beer-drinking in Mesopotamia around 8000BC. 3 Workers on the pyramids around 4,500 years ago had three drink breaks each day, with five types of beer and four varieties of wine available.

4. The word SSLqalcohol' in the early 17th century meant a fine metallic powder used as eye make-up.

5. It then came to mean any fine powder produced by grinding or distillation, then finally took on the meaning of a distilled liquid.

6. Peter the Great of Russia had the lover of one of his mistresses beheaded and his head preserved in alcohol and kept by his bedside.

7. A recent poll reported that the average British man drinks 11,616 pints of beer in his lifetime…

8. …as well as 1,089 pints of cider, 5,082 glasses of wine & 4,356 single measures of spirits.

9. Recent research has shown that drinking alcohol shrinks the brains of mice.

10. “[Drink] provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance” (a porter in Macbeth).

38

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:22 PM Page 39

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:22 PM Page 40

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:15 PM Page 41

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:15 PM Page 42

20 of Best (worst) chat up lines!

42

Hey girl, feel my sweater. Know what it’s made of? Boyfriend material “I’m no weatherman, but you can expect at least a few inches tonight.”

“If I flip a coin, what are the chances of me getting head?”

Can you fill out this quick survey for me please?”

“I put the STD in stud, now all I need is U.” “Are you related to Yoda? Because Yodalicious.”

"I’m not an astronaut but me next mission is Uranus."

“You remind me of my little toe, you are short and cute, and im going to bang you on my coffee table tonight.”

"Do you work at Subway? Because every time I see you I get a footlong."

"Are you an aquatic infrastructure? Because Daaaaaam!"

"If you were a triangle, you would be a cute one."

"I’ve lost my teddy, can I sleep with you instead?"

"If you were homework I’d be doing you on my desk right now."

"Polar Bear. Just thought that would break the ice."

"My magic watch says you aren’t wearing any underwear. (I am.) It must be an hour fast then."

"I’m a pirate and I’m here for your booty."

"I think there is something wrong with my phone. Could you call it to see if it works?"

"I bet you £10 you’ll turn me down."

"I’m a professional footballer."

"You look like my first wife . . . I’ve never been married."

What line do you use to get a girl's / boy’s attention? Have you tried any of these?

Did they work? Let us know....

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:15 PM Page 43

Pimp That Limo!

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:15 PM Page 44

Q) What happens – if you mix a retired Boeing 727 with a Mercedes bus?

A) Possibly the most unusual limo in the word! It is street legal and seats up to 50 people in sheer luxury.

Fiat has decided to produce 3 special edition stretch limousines of the 500 car; LimoSun, LimoCity, LimoCity Presidential. They are targeted at the American market………

Bored with crusing around town in the back of a limo? The GPLimo is a cross between an Indy car and a limo, offering rides around The Las Vegas Speedway, the car holds the record for the fastest road legal passenger car on the Bonneville Salts – 300mph.

We all know that Bruce Wayne is mega-wealthy, so why does he drive himself to those Gotham Society bashes? – This BatLimo based on the car from the Tim Burton films can be seen around New York.

Still in the planning stage, this Lamborghini Aventador is due to be built by a UK hire company, the engine will remain the same and there will be a 4 scissor doors. Sponsorship is currently being sought to get the project underway!!

44

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:15 PM Page 45

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:15 PM Page 46

After the beep Actual Answering Machine Messages Recorded and Verified By The World Famous International Institute of Answering Machine Messages:

10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.

9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not

need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.

8. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling.... and I'll think about returning your call.

7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slow ly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my

parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money.

46

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:15 PM Page 47

teleweb internet & telephone just got better!

tion for someone who lives here full time.

Do you have a wireless internet system that you are not happy with?

Teleweb will convert you over to their service at no cost. What have you got to lose?

HAVE A UK No IN SPAIN!

teleweb – “Pay as you go” internet

Teleweb Internet & Telephone, has been providing wireless internet services since 2003, and in that time, has seen consistent growth and added new exciting services to its well established high speed 5GHz wireless internet service.

FLEXIBILITY: Because you do not need a land line, you can have internet on a “Pay as you go” system. There are flexible solutions ranging from 1 hour to a permanent connec-

Teleweb offers a telephone system (without the need for a landline) with calls from 1.8c per minute. It is just like a Telefonica landline without the wires. No need to have your computer on to make and receive calls. Choose a telephone number from your home country or just elect to have a Malaga number. This system will work anywhere in the world with the same low call costs, you just need an internet connection.

For more information on any of the above, please call Teleweb on 952 833 300 or Email: info@teleweb-marbella.

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:15 PM Page 48

Since the early 1980s, ACP (Anglo Continental Property) has been based on the costa del sol. They started out selling properties to the expat community and, as the new owners needed assistance with running their homes, ACP expaned their services to include Property Management to help with setting up contracts, paments of bills etc.

In all that time there have been just three owners, the most recent being Pete Bland and Isabelle Cochrane who have been involved since 2007 and have continued to keep up the standards of a company specialising in Property Management. In 2009 the offices moved from Calahonda to the ´The Centre´ in Cabopino where it continues to thrive.

ACP, from The Centre @ Cabopino, not only provide value for money Property Management services which includes keyholding, cleaning and laundry services but also insurance for cars, homes and health, short term holiday rental, long term solutions, car hire, excursions, but also virtual office services such as taxes, on-line check-in, internet access.

For more information why not give them a call 952 934 527 or pop into the offices in Cabopino for a chat.

'Specialists' in Property Management & Rentals @ The Centre Cabopino CC Cabopino Local 10 29604 Marbella, Malaga 0034 952 934 527 - See our ad on page 15...

48

666 089 427

private buyer

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:15 PM Page 49

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:15 PM Page 50

After the beep

con’ t

Actual Answering Machine Messages Recorded and Verified By The World Famous International Institute of Answering Machine Messages:

5.. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.

4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner.

3. Hi. Now YOU say something.

2. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

And the Number 1 Actual Answering Machine Message Recorded and Verified by The World Famous International Institute of Answering Machine Messages.

1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya.

We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy.

Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... really slowly.

So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back.

50

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:16 PM Page 51

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:17 PM Page 52

Strangebuttrue...

DOCTORS PULL COCKROACH FROM AUSTRALIAN MAN'S EAR Don’t read on if you are squeamish...

But I think you have a large cockroach in your ear canal...

Doctors in Australia came to the aid of Hendrik Helmer who realized a large cockroach had crawled into his ear. Hendrik, of Darwin, Australia, said he first noticed something was wrong when he woke up early in the morning with acute pain in his right ear.

Somehow, Helmer sensed a creepy crawler was to blame, although he wasn't yet sure exactly what it was.

As the pain worsened, Helmer attempted first to suck the creature out with a vacuum cleaner, and then to flush it out with water.

"Whatever was in my ear didn't like it at all," he noted.

Helmer eventually gave up and rushed to the Royal Darwin Hospital, where he was forced to wait 10 extremely painful minutes for the crea-

ture to die before a doctor could extract it.

"They said they had never pulled an insect this large out of someone's ear," Helmer said after it had been removed.

While horrifying, Helmer's experience is not unique. Following a case last year where doctors found mites and mite eggs in a 70-year-old Taiwanese man's ear.

It's much more common to see a cockroach in the ear, part of the problem is that the bugs often have little trouble getting into the ear, but then are unable to walk backwards in order to get out.

Helmer should probably be thankful his midnight invader was only a cockroach. Last August, photos surfaced online of a Chinese patient who went to the hospital complaining of an itchy ear, only to discover that a spider had been living in there for five days.

GARDEN CENTER L I N D AV I S TA Shudder.

52

Ctra de Cadiz, Km171,29670, San Pedro de Alcantara, Behind McDonalds in San Pedro. Tel; 952785206

CLMŠ2008

HU GE RA NGE OF: POT S lG ARD E N TO OLS lPLA NT S FLOW ERS & S HRU B S lG A RDEN FU RNI TU RE lG A R D E N O R N A M E N TS

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:17 PM Page 53

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:17 PM Page 54

FINANCIAL NEWS

The UK saw 1.8%y/y sales growth in December. But it wasn’t all a happy story as in all games there are winners and losers. In the winners corner were Waitrose, Aldi and Lidl whilst the Tesco and Sainsburys were cast as losers . Another big winner came from on line shopping as high street stores continue to adapt to changing shopping needs. The Cooperative Bank remains a storyline as they managed to raise the capital to continue trading and Standard and Poor the credit reference agency acknowledged this by upgrading the senior debt from B to B+ as the bank prepares itself for a market placing probably during 2014 .The Bank of England left interest rates on hold.

Consumers are spending as new car sales rose 11% and employers are suggesting during 2014 they will start to take on more people. The last month (late Dec and Early Jan) did see the pound as a favoured currency.

In the eurozone Mr Draghi has been voted Central Bank Governor of the year and the ECB also left rates on hold at .25% but faces issues with the threat of

54

deflation. The unemployment rate stayed at 12..1% however there were signs that a small recovery is in place as Spain saw better data, Italy has seen manufacturing improve and Spanish and Italian bonds yields dropped. Even the sick man of Europe (France) actually saw a small improvement in recent data. Portugal also joined the party by raising 3.25 billion euros in a 5 year bond sale.

The IMF added to the confusion in the markets by placing Denmark, Finland, Norway and Poland on the watch list for countries to have regular check ups of their financial services sector.

Rates during the period 15 Dec to 14 Jan 2014 High Low ÂŁ to $ 1.660 1.624 ÂŁ to Euro

1.214

1.181

If you would like further information please contact Moneycorp on

952 587 657

and quote Costa Link Magazine

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:17 PM Page 55

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:17 PM Page 56 Breakfast in bed... Start Valentine’s day in your partner's good books!

A guaranteed winner flavour-packed breakfast sausage burger with bacon, cheese and tomato relish.

The greaT breakfasT burger

Ingredients:

•1 medium onion, roughly chopped •2 tbsp tomato ketchup •1 tbsp oyster sauce •1kg sausagemeat, or meat squeezed from 16 large sausages •1 egg yolk

Method:

•25g pack flat-leaf parsley, leaves chopped •8 slices melting cheese (we used havarti) To serve •8 grilled rashers streaky smoked bacon •8 ciabatta buns, halved •tomato relish

1) Put the onion, ketchup and oyster sauce in a food processor, then blend to a coarse paste, scraping down the sides of the processor if you need to. Put the sausagemeat into a mixing bowl, beat in the onion mix, egg yolk and 25ml water (and I mean really beat; if you have a tabletop mixer, do it in that), then add the parsley. Separate the mix into 8, roll into large balls, then flatten into patties. Chill on a plate for 1 hr.

2) To cook the burgers, heat a griddle or large frying pan without adding any extra fat. Fry for 3 mins on one side until golden, turn down the heat for 5 mins, then flip and repeat on the other side.

3) While the burgers cook, fry the bacon and, if you are game, some eggs as well. Heat the grill, then lightly toast the insides of the ciabatta buns.

4) Place the cooked burgers on a baking sheet, put a slice of cheese on each, then pop under the grill to melt. Sit the burgers on their buns, then place the bacon on top. If you feel like them, slide fried eggs on top of the bacon. Serve with a napkin.

It was love at first sight....

56

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:17 PM Page 57

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:17 PM Page 58

What’s On

Guide

January 18th - February 10th: The Marbella Carnival includes fun and entertainment in four different areas of the city - Marbella center, San Pedro de Alcantara, Nueva Andalucia and Las Chapas. Everyone dresses up in costume and participates in a number of activities offered by the city. For more details go to www.marbella.es of Marbella Town Hall.

10th February: AIM Building Supplies in Elviria are having a live demo of C-T-1 a fantastic new product they are offering 2 FOR THE PRICE OF 1 (only on10/02/2014) for more details call - 952 835 172.

18th February : Estepona Floral Art Club will be holding its next flower arranging demonstration from 3.15pm to 5pm at Tikitano’s Beach and Restaurant, Estepona. The demonstrator will be Stephen McDonnell, NAFAS Area Demonstrator from Brighton, UK. Please call Tikitano’s directly on 952 79 84 49 to make your reservation, and state that you are attending the flower club demonstration. Please call Jo on 952 89 13 85 or send an email to esteponafloralartclub@hotmail.com to receive information.

28th February: Andalucia Day, (Día de Andalucía) in Spanish, is a holiday celebrated only in the region of Andalucia. Schools and most businesses are closed or have shortened hours on this day, so be sure to check opening hours of any business before you head out.

Every Monday: 1st Coin Brownies meet 5pm-6.30pm at El Centro Nazareno in Coin. Suitable forages 7-10 years. Great fun for the girls. Contact www.1stcoinbrownies.info Every Monday: 11 am – 1 pm: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain at La Iglesia Bar, nr Bonanza Square, Benalmadena Costa.

Every Monday: Arts and Crafts Fair in Benahavis at 8pm in the Main Square in Benahavis.

Every Tuesday: The Costa Women Coffee Club meet every second Tuesday at 10am – 12.30pm for coffee, chats and other activities and is a social group designed to get ladies of all ages together. It’s best to join the group via Facebook or contact Emma on 608 408 771.

Every Tuesday: 11 am – 1 pm Age Care Coffee Morning where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain at the Cafe in Supersol, El Zoco, Calahonda or call us on Tel 952 933 409 for more information.

Every Wednesday: at 11:30am the Malaga Picasso Museum is offering free guided tours in English which is included with the price of admission.

Every Thursday: Market at Calypso, Calahonda.

Every Thursday: Flea Market from 9am next to Aldi in Las Lagunas, plenty of parking.

Every Thursday: 10 am – 12.30 pm: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain at Manilla Bar, Paseo Maritimo, Los Boliches, Fuengirola.

Every Thursday: Salsa Classes at Rolling Salsa - For more information call: 626 750 979.

Every Sunday: Flea Market EVERY Sunday 10am till 2pm at Calypso, Calahonda.

Every Sunday: At the Hippodrome from 9am - 2pm FAMA have a car boot sale.

Every Sunday: There is a market every Sunday in the Marbella Marina on the Teresa Zabell Pier from 12:00-18:00.

Every Sunday: Barbeque night at Riviera Grand Palms Cyber Cafe, from 6pm, from 7€, Calle Sirocco 370 Phase 7 Urb. Riveria del Sol, booking advised Tel 952 932 112.

58

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:17 PM Page 59

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:17 PM Page 60

ocal Info Emergency Numbers

---

Central number for Fire, Police & Ambulance National Police Local Police Guardia Civil dica

Medical

112 091 092 062

Emergency 061 Ambulance Marbella 902 505 061 Ambulance Coin 952 453 267

Health Centres

Town Halls

Marbella 952 761 100 San Pedro 952 453 020 La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208 Fuengirola 952 589 300 Estepona 952 801 100

Fire Brigade

Emergency number 080 Marbella 952 774 349 Estepona 952 804 483 Fuengirola 952 461 046 British Ireland Denmark Sweden Germany France U.S.A

952 952 952 952 952 952 952

Marbella Coin Estepona Fuengirola San Pedro

952 771 442 952 822 818 952 822 818 952 467 457 952 785 252

352 475 226 604 212 226 474

300 108 373 383 442 590 891

Tourist Information

60

Bus Stations Marbella 952 764 400 Coin 952 450 366 San Pedro 952 781 396 Estepona 952 800249 For a list of complete times www.andalucia.com/travel/bus Train Timetables 902 240 202 Airports Malaga 952 048 844 Gibraltar 956 773 026

Marbella 952 769 946 Coin 952 452 767 San Pedro 952 787 700

Consulates

Transport

Markets

Monday - Marbella (fairground site on east side) Tuesday - Fuengirola (fairground near Los Boliches) Wednesday - Calypso (Mijas Costa & Estepona (Avda. Juan Carlos) La Cala - Feria ground Thursday - San Pedro (Recinto Ferial) Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama) Friday - Alhaurin el Grande (Bar Aquamania) Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano Pineda) La Cala - Feria ground.

Sunday - Puerto Estepona

Cinemas

(Marina)

All the Cinemas listed below show films in English as well

as Spanish. Call first to check what is showing that week.

Marbella: Cinesur Plaza del Mar 952 766 941 La Ca単ada 902 333 231 Puerto Banus: Gran Marbella 952 810 077 Coin: La Trocha 951 315 039 Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221 622

Chemists

24 hour chemist Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz Km 194. Marbella.

Tel: 952 83 25 89

Taxis

Marbella Taxis 952 774 488 Mijas Costa Taxis 952 476 593

Diary Dates

February 14th:Valentines Day February 16th: Pancake Day (Shrove Tuesday)

February 27th to March 9th: Cadiz Carnival February 28th: Is "Andalusia Day" - Many business closed or have short opeing hours.

if you would like to sponsor this page please call 663 061 669

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:24 PM Page 61

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:24 PM Page 62

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:24 PM Page 63

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:24 PM Page 64

S TA R S I GN S

A look at what's in store for you during February 2014.....

Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

Aries

Taurus

Gemini 64

Capricorn, February promises to be a very favorable month if you are single or in a relationship!

Venus, the planet of love and harmony, has resumed its straight movement in Capricorn at the end of January, ending a phase of complications, blocks and inefficiency. The last three-month period, must have been rich in important events. Now conclusions will be drawn, things will clear up and new roads will be taken enthusiastically. Venus can finally offer you her gifts: love and fun. With Venus by your side and with Jupiter, you won't have only one Valentine's Day, but 28 days of them! Financially, February 2014 will bring nice earnings. Be careful, though, how you manage the money in the second part of the month and leave important transactions for after the 28th! Venus' coming back from the retrograde phase will boost optimism and good mood also good health. Take care when travelling though.

Aquarius, relationships will be in the spotlight throughout February 2014. You'll have magnetism and sex-appeal, you'll captivate and you'll challenge you in other words will be hot, hot, hot… Expect to have quite an active love life of which lots of moments will be amazing. If you ware looking for love Valentines Day 2014 may bring that someone special to your life… In the second part of the month an older relationship might come back to attention or you might have to talk about the sexual aspect of the relationship again, don’t worry things will become clear at the time. February promises to be a successful month for Aquarius people. The Sun will be in Aquarius, a position that will lend you energy and ambition and will highlight you better. Keep your modesty and the sense of measure!

Pisces, you’ll begin a difficult and ambiguous period as regards relationships. Mercury will be in retrograde in your sign and its retrograde movement will oscillate between two points, as if it couldn't decide which direction to take. Disappointments, secret relationships and past affairs are brought back to attention again. The good side of things is that, beyond all these, there will be enough offers and plenty of opportunities to have fun. The couple relationships based on friendship and conspiracy will be the most favored now. On the work front Mercury's retrograde movement will be good for sorting out papers and calculations or for finalizing procedures started some time ago. Use your imagination to express yourself creatively! Financially, you'll notice some improvement a change maybe even a windfall. Try to have enough rest, to take supplements with vitamins and minerals, to eat healthy food.

Aries, in February 2014 you can expect a boom in your love life this month, just in time for Valentines day. If there have been unusual situations, blocks or delays in the past weeks, this month will bring clarification and solutions will start to appear. Look to friends they could be helpful, giving you advice or just having another point of view on the situation. Get out and about this month or maybe join a group activity this will help relationships not to get boring, this is also a great place to meet the partner of your dreams if you are single. Venus will bring some change on the work and finance front bringing clarification with on going issues. This phenomenon will positively reflect on the financial level as well, where an extra sum of money, a benefit, recuperation or rightful coming to possession could come along. Take care of yourself this month! Avoid excesses and try to get enough rest don’t rush and don't take any risks!

Taurus, as regards your relationships, there doesn't seem to be much going on this month. If you are single then you may find new love at work, someone you have a shared professional interest with. If you are in a love term relationship don't expect wonders this month! Be patient and understanding because the period will not exactly be easy, but it can be overcome with wisdom and humor. If you have a new relationship starting off or a passionate love, watch out that it is not negatively influencing your career or reputation! On the work and money side of things there are chances of success, and the satisfactory results these might be related to studies and trips. Businesses need to be kept in order, and money-related deals need to be very clear. Don't overdo it avoid excesses try and focus some time to relax when you can this month.

Gemini, you may have a few misunderstandings in your close relationships this month. You and your partner seem to have pretty practical preoccupations, probably related to money and home life. Your love life will be a topic of interest for Gemini people throughout February 2014, you’ll be full of desire, or by the frustrations it might generate. If you are single now is the time to find love, the atmosphere of February 2014 will be hotter and your emotions stronger. On the work and money side of life Gemini's professional development will stay rather complicated. In February 2014 you'll still be asked to invest into the future you'll be asked to make an effort, but it will be worth making, even if the results don't come right away. Think twice about each decision you make! Try and exercise this month you’ll find a better balance and strength within yourself.

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:24 PM Page 65

Cancer

Leo

Virgo

Cancer, February 2014 will be an important month. Venus has been hanging around for a while now is has had something to say, it has focused its magnifying glass on certain moods, certain awareness moments. You probably know what kind of message Venus wanted to give you. If you don't, you'll soon figure it out. Towards the middle of February decisions will be made or other significant events will take place. Your professional life still requires changes and development. In February 2014, you'll do well with teamwork and you'll find people to join you quite easily. You can count on creativity and inspiration finding in this period when you put your thinking cap on! Don't neglect paying your bills and keep your accounting records in order! It would be helpful to you to talk to somebody about what has got you worried. Try to relax and take some time for yourself this month.

Leo, relationships will not be easy to handle in February 2014. The focus this month will definitely be around relationships, special events will take place, but the generally bringing misunderstanding or difficulty. The Sun and Mercury in your sign will be retrograde almost all the month (6th-28th February 2014). You can expect problems caused by faulty communication, confusion or incorrect assessment. Delicate matters might be brought back to discussion and people from the past might reappear in the present. At work there will be some relief in the air. Venus has resumed its straight movement in your sign meaning responsibilities and issue of late will change and speed up. Cut out the temptations this month, which can lead to extra weight you don't want.

Virgo, Jupiter, is in your house of couples, this means you’ll be in a privileged position in February 2014. The tendency will be towards the better. Once Venus has resumed its straight movement in Virgo's house of love; in February 2014 the romantic enthusiasm and sexual desire will be refreshed. If you are in a relationship, boom, love is in the air: if you single now is the time to strut your stuff – easy you’re on fire! February 2014 will be a great month for having fun together, from parties and shows to holidays or short trips. At work February might be much more demanding than you would have expected. Some things will not come out right the first time and will need to be resumed. Don't give up and you'll succeed! Leave the important professional decisions for the end of the month! On the health front try to lead an organised life, take care of yourself and have enough rest.

Libra

Libra, February will probably be the most favorable month in the first part of the year 2014.

The Sun and Mercury will be bringing love to your sign. They will urge your romantic tendencies and make you hot, hot, hot… There will be great opportunities for a new love to occur or for bringing an older love story back to attention. Declarations or proposals will take place. At work you’ll be rushed off your feet, but that's all right, you'll have a lot of energy and you'll enjoy being where the action is, so get down to it! Financially, in February 2014 you'll do reasonably well, and the work will be profitable especially in the last part of the month. Steer clear of doggy curries this month poisoning and tummy problems may come when you least expect them!

Scorpio

Scorpio, wow you are in for a great time ahead! After a month and a half of retrograde movement, Venus will start to move forward misunderstandings will clarify, blocks will disappear and problems will go away. If you have at the beginning of a new relationship, the first part of February 2014 might be full of whims or confusing situations stick with it things will become clear towards the end of the month. Work will be active, but tense, and you'll probably quite stressed at times this month. There will be positive changes, though, and they will reflect on the area of brainpower use your charms when communicating you’re powers of negotiation will win out in the end. Look for new ways of fight against stress and avoid excesses, severe diets or really hard exercise regimes! Relax when you can…

Sagittarius

Sagittarius, because Mercury is in retrograde your sign, the first part of the month, misunderstandings or difficulties will be connected to the accommodation or some form of real estate issue. In the second half of the month, communication will become better and the problems will work themselves out.

You’ll also have chances to meet a person you haven't seen for a long time, or get a chance letter or email.

This may result in a change of plan maybe even a trip abroad. At work a joint initiative will be favored now, with a project focusing on a group or an organisation. The best news will regard money. You'll overcome an obstacle, a delay or another type of complication and you'll gradually come back to normal. If you've had health worries in the past few weeks, February 2014 will bring you either some improvement of the general condition or effective medical solutions.

Puzzle It Out

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:24 PM Page 66

Crossword

Solutions on page 76 Across: 1. Elder (6) 4. Father (5) 8. Oily fruit (5) 9. Dialects (7) 10. Vivid red (7) 11. Norse god (4) 12. Hot beverage (3) 14. Funeral fire (4) 15. Oil resevoir on motor vehicle (4) 18. Used for cooking (3) 21. Elephants tooth (4) 23. Supervise (7) 25. Of water (7) 26. Furnishings (5) 27. Shiny man made fabric (5) 28. .........Hitler (6) Down: 1. Burn (6) 2. Loudly (7) 3. Go past the mark (8) 4. Step (4) 5. Percentage (5) 6. Theme park (6) 7. Pass out (5) 13. Risen (8) 16. Movie with singing and dancing (7) 17. Errs (6) 19. Nick (5) 20. Fireplace (6) 22. On haunches (5) 24. Amaze (4)

Sudoku

Brain Teaser

A NIGHTMARE PLANE JOURNEY...

It's a windy, wet and stormy night a plane takes off from JFK airport in New York.

The storm worsens there is thunder and lightning coming from all angles, suddenly the plane is hit it falls from the sky and crashes...

Half the plane lands in the United States, the other half lands in Canada.

In which country do you bury the survivors?

Say What You See...

S E S A M E 66

cycle cycle cycle

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:24 PM Page 67

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:24 PM Page 68

The Jokes page

Jokes page

What are these?

A three year old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath. “Mum”, he asked, “Are these my brains?” “Not yet,” she replied.

Ravages of Time Two very senior little ladies were discussing the ravages that time had wrought on their bodies. Said one "My arthritis has gotten so bad I can hardly grip anything, my cataracts seem to get worse every day, I have gout in my right leg and can’t bend my knee and I can’t hear anything but thank God I can still drive

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named ‘Ahmal’. The other goes to a family in Spain and they name him ‘Juan’. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.”

68

Tom had been in business for 25 years and was finally sick of the stress. So, he quit his job and bought 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible.

He saw the postman once a week and he got groceries once a month.

Otherwise, it was total peace and quiet.

After six months or so of total isolation, someone knocked on his door.

He opened the door and there was a huge, bearded man s tanding there.

"Name's Lars...you're neighbor from 40 miles up the road.

Having a Christmas party Friday night....

Thought you might like to come...

About 5:00 PM." "Great!" says Tom.....

"After 6 months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks!. Thank you."

As Lars is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you...There's gonna be some drinkin."

"Not a problem", says Tom...

"After 25 years in business, I

can drink with the best of 'em."

Again, as he starts to leave, Lars stops.

"More 'n likely gonna be some fightin' too" Tom says, "Well, I get along with people. I'll be all right. I'll be there on Friday.

Thanks again".

Once again Lars turns from the door.

"More 'n likely be some wild s*x, too."

"Now, that's really not a problem", says Tom, warming to the idea. "I've been alone for six months! I'll definitely be the re.

By the way, what should I wear?"

Lars stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want......

Just gonna be the two of us."

A married couple went to a sex therapist to get help on their fading sex life. The therapist asked many questions and decided that the problem was a lack of spontinuity. He insisted that whatever time of day, if either should feel horny they should take advantage and have sex straightaway. He told the couple to try this for a fortnight and return. Two weeks later they returned.

They claimed that they had followed his advice but as well as a good side there was also a bad side.

The therapist asked them to explain.

"Just the other day when my wife was bending over to get something out of the freezer I felt the urge and so I lifted her skirt and made love to her right there, right then." said the husband.

"And it's improved our love life no end."

The therapist queried them, "then what could possibly be the bad side?"

The wife replied....

"Well now we're banned from Iceland!"

Happy Valentines!!!

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:24 PM Page 69

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 6:24 PM Page 70

70

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:20 PM Page 71

Marble Floor Polishing Phone Paul: 654 589 218

Before

After

Free advice on how to care for your floors at www.marblefloor.info

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:20 PM Page 72

72

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:20 PM Page 73

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:20 PM Page 74

74

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:20 PM Page 75

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:20 PM Page 76

Puzzle It Out Solutions FromPages 20 & 66

Crossword Solution

Just Say What You See

Harrys Sports Bar

1. Open Sesame 2. Tricycle

Brain Teaser

1) You don't bury survivors!

All live sports and premiere league football. Six TV’s and big screen. Full menu, Sunday roast and homemade tapas. Large sun terrace. Open 10amlate, seven days a week.

Upstairs Los Jarales, Calahonda

M

a

g

a

z

i

n

e

To advertise in the most popular A5 magazine on the Costa del Sol with rates starting at 35€ call: 951 216 131 76

email: sales@costalinkmagazine.com

Trivia Quiz Answers

1) Blue Ivy 2) Andy Murray 3) Germany - Deutsche Demokratische Republik 4) H G Wells 5) October / November 6) Turtles 7) Gordon Brown 8) Double 9) Rumplestilskin 10) Personal Best 11) Ashton Kutcher 12) Khronos 13) Violin 14) Face Off 15) Coagulate 16) Sir Bruce Forsyth & Tess Daly 17) 1920’s 18) Meat 19) Aquamarine 20) Lake 21) Rhubarb 22) Purple 23) Green 24) Wellington 25) Queen Elizabeth 26) Colombo 27) 1945 28) Muscavado 29) H20 30) Jets, Sharks

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:20 PM Page 77

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:20 PM Page 78

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:20 PM Page 79

February 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 1/23/14 4:20 PM Page 80