Costa Link Magazine January 2010

Costa lInk

magazine

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COVERING COSTA DEL SOL - INCLUDING FUENGIROLA, LA CALA, CALAHONDA, ELVIRIA, MARBELLA, PUERTO BANUS, SAN PEDRO, ESTEPONA, LA DUQUESA, SOTOGRANDE, ALHAURIN AND COÍN.

JANUARY 2010 NO.34

WWW.COSTALINKMAGAZINE.COM

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Jokes B u s i n e s s D i re c t o r y

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Local Info

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Bar & Restaurant Guide

Puzzles

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What’s On Guide

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Kids Page

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Can you believe it is 2010 already? Christmas has been and gone and we have had far too much to eat and drink. Unfortunately Santa forgot to bring sales@costalinkmagazine.com the Ferrari – maybe next year! However it was really nice to spend time with the family and friends.

So it’s time now to make the new year resolutions, www.costalinkmagazine.com all the usual things – loose the excess weight gained over the last month, start going to the gym, and the many others that seemed like such a good idea at five to midnight on the 31st December as costalink.magazine the bubbly was being consumed. I wonder how long Deposito Legal: MA-228-2007 we will stick to them hopefully more than the three days last year! If you need any prompts in this Deadline Date: 15th of each direction see our suggestions on page 22. month.

This year promises to be an interesting one – A No part of this publication, including general election in the UK, The Fifa World cup in pictures may be copied, SCANNED, South Africa, The Winter Olympics in Vancouver, used or reproduced without our prior The Commonwealth games in Delhi and maybe an written consent. end to the financial crisis in Spain?

Costa Link Magazine accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims Whatever the year brings for you, we hope it’s a made by our advertisers or information pro- happy and prosperous one, and remember – It’s vided by our contributors. only eleven months until Christmas!

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choose from the box on the shores of an pretty pond in a meadow near her castle.

A frog hopped into the Princess' lap and said: "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome Prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young Prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and setup house in yon castle with my Mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so. "That night, whilst eating a meal of lightly sautéed frogs legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought: "I don't think so!"

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At the peak of her career, Katie's book Being Jordan shifted over 750,000 copies, but her latest effort Standing Out has only managed sales of 41,000. One expert said yesterday, "Although Katie's been everywhere in the press, we're not really seeing this transfer into sales. Perhaps there have simply been too many books and other products that have saturated the market. It does make you wonder if her appeal has peaked." Katie's official spokesman has rubbished the new claims, insisting that all her stuff is doing well. Still, we bet she won't be launching that Jordan Airline quite yet...

Katie's businesses in trouble.

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Katie Prices Divorce – Industry experts are claiming that Katie Price's business empire is in danger of crumbling in the wake of her m e s s y divorce from Peter Andre.

The star's perfume Stunning is reportedly “doing very badly”, while some of her childrens' books have been bought by less than 50 people. Katie's Price bed linen range is no longer being stocked in some stores because it failed to sell, and even her Asda lingerie range is reportedly “under review”.

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than Prince's William and Harry. Pretty impressive!? Junior Andre is also in the top ten, thought to be worth £302 million in the future, which again is more than our Royal contenders. The full top ten is below. Have a look and then tell us what YOU think the youngest of these famous children will be doing in 20 years.

1.ROCCO RITCHIE – £376.25 million 2.CRUZ BECKHAM – £341.6 million 3.DAMIAN HURLEY – £330.5 million 4.COCO SUMNER – £315 million 5.LIZZY JAGGER – £310 million 6.JUNIOR ANDRE – £302 million 7.ROMEO BECKHAM – £271.6 million 8.BROOKLYN BECKHAM – £251.6 million 9.HARRY WINDSOR – £198.5 million 10.WILLIAM WINDSOR – £178.5 million

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Which celebrity kids are going to grow up to be the RICHEST? - Isn't it funny to think that in 20 years time, a whole new breed of celebs will be the talking point on every website and in every magazine – and that many of them will have very famous parents? Anyway, we've always wondered which celebrity kids will become the most rich and famous in the future, and now some kind people have worked it all out for us. We’ve complied a top ten Richest Kids List, Rocco Ritche is the celeb child with the most earning potential. Rocco – son of Madonna and Guy Ritchie – is set to be worth an estimated £376.25 million, beating Cruz Beckham (on £341.6 million) and Damian Hurley (£330.5 million) into second and third place respectively. Unsurprisingly, all three Beckham boys made the top ten, and their total earning potential equals a whopping £864.8 million, which is more

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13.Call out random numbers while someone is counting.

14.Drum on every available surface.

15.Sew anti-theft detector strips into people’s clothes.

16.Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

17.Set alarms for random times.

18.Honk and wave to strangers.

19.ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE. 20.Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

21.As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

22.Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

23.Ask people what gender they are.

24.Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

25.Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

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1.Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2.Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

3.Speak only in a "robot" voice.

4.Leave the copy machine set to print 98 copies.

5.Sniffle incessantly.

6.Leave your indicator on for fifty kilometers.

7.Name your dog “Dog”.

8.Reply to everything someone says with “that's what YOU think”.

9.Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was "really funny."

10.Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with disinfectant.

11.Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

12.Wear a special hip holster for your mobile phone.

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"What does it tell you?" Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot. Somebody has stolen our tent!"

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see. " Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Holmes asked,Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

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sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me." Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50lbs program. "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you are mine!!!" He lost 63 pounds that week.

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A man calls a company and orders their 5day, 10lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10lbs. as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20lbs program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning and beautiful woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a

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Illuminating 63% of people are still keeping their resolutions after the first two months.

67% of people make 3 or more resolutions.

Top resolutions involve promises to exercise more (37%), increasing the time devoted to study or work (23%), losing weight, stop smoking or drinking (alcohol and/or coffee), and eat healthier.

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Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average which means, you have met your New Year's resolution - Jay Leno The proper behavior all through the Christmas season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to! - P J O'Rourke

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Millions upon millions of people around the world will be making their New Years Resolutions. Here's how things usually end up.

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People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas - Anonymous

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People make more resolutions to start a new habit (84%) , than to break an old one (16%).

65% of people make their resolutions between the 28th of December and New Year's Day. The rest usually take up until the end of January.

Of those who successfully achieved their top resolution, 40% of them did so on the first attempt. The rest made multiple tries, with 17% finally succeeding after more than six attempts.

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How to Keep Resolutions!

3) Don't blame yourself when you falter.

Just start again.

Men: 1) Set the goal yourself, rather than someone in your life dictating the new year resolutions.

4) Reward yourself when you succeed.

Ideas for Serious New Year Resolutions

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New Year's Resolutions Top Tips for Men and Women

Always keep a joke book (Or a copy of Costa Link!) Handy for times you have to wait

2) Make only one new resolution. Make our goal specific and personal.

Learn First Aid Give up a bad habit Forgive someone Start a journal or blog Research your family history Start collecting something interesting

3) Make a 'Pros' and 'Cons' list. Review each week.

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2) Plan ahead, make your new year's resolution straight after Boxing Day.

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Women: 1) Tell other people, especially other women friends. What your new year resolutions are.

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4) Make a commitment to do something new, rather than stop something old.

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A M a n’s W o r l d

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Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay! Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress 5000€. DJ rental 100€.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 sec-

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onds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is 8.95€ for a three-pack Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips.

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Why Men Are Just Happier People

No wonder men are happier!

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Up in smoke...

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that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire, and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."

NOW FOR THE BEST PART...

After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine. This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.

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A New York, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire among other things.

Within a month having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.

The lawyer sued...and won!

In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The Judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed

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•Well Womens Clinic (Cervical Smears, breast examinations) •Full Health Assessments •Dyslexia Assessments •Complimentary Therapists •Counseling service •Hypertension management

A Nurse led service providing an innovative and holistic approach to healthcare that brings the values and practices of a British Health Centre to the Costa del Sol, enabling you to access a service that is familiar.

•Community Mental Health team Mens Health Clinic (Includes PSA, Testicular examination) •Care Coordination Centre •Asthma Clinic •Diabetes Management •Vaccination Clinics

Tel: 952 83 57 76 www.clinicamedicare.com Located in La Cala de Mijas just around the corner from the BP petrol station. Ample parking.

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Pets Resolutions... rat on steroids, or they'll flush me!

Get a bite in on that vet who gives me that shot every year.

New Year Resolutions for Pets I will not eat other animals' poop.

I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.

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Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.

I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

Cats: Use new living room sofa as scratching post.

My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.

January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock!

Cats: Circulate a petition that sleeping becomes a juried competition in major animal shows.

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January 2nd - December 31: Re-live victory over the sock.

The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell other behinds.

I will NOT chase the stick until I see it LEAVE THE IDIOT'S HAND!

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Hamster: Don't let them figure out I'm just a

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Come to understand that cats are from Venus; dogs are from Mars.

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Thriving in La Cala...

January Sale 40 - 50% off all stock except sweets

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Cards for all occassions & relations from 1 euro Wedding Gifts, Baby Gifts Retail & wholesale available Helium balloons & partyware

Come and see for yourself Monday - Friday 9.30 am - 6.30 pm.

Saturday 9am - 3pm

Tel/Fax: 952 587 549 Three shops away from the Tabac (tobacconist)

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On the Coin Road (A404), 3 km out of Alhaurín el Grande 20 minutes from La Cañada and the coast.

WE ARE NOW IN OUR 6TH YEAR!

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Luxury Pet Transportation throughout Europe by land Professional Grooming Salon for Dogs & Cats Pet Boutique with Pet Treats & Accessories Be a step in front of the Boutique Dog Hotel law and avoid a fine...

Beautiful Secluded Cattery We now stock and supply: • Dog Car Harnesses with seatbelt attachments Grooming Courses • Dog Guards for cars Complete Dog Food "Posh Nosh" • Travel Crates Pet ID Tags - Now engraved onsite Bespoke Travel Cages - Custom Cages Residential Obedience Training for your dog Our own produced ‘Herbal Tonic’ for pets Tuesday evenings 5pm-7pm Mobile British Vet Clinic

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• • • • • • • • • • • •

Collection & delivery ‘Pet Taxi’ service is offered

Telephone: 952 597 035

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Visit: www.poshpetsspain.com

ocal Info 112 091 092 062

Medical

Emergency 061 Ambulance Marbella 902 505 061 Ambulance Coin 952 453 267

Train Timetables 902 240 202 Airports Malaga 952 048 844 Gibraltar 956 773 026

Health Centres

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Marbella 952 769 946 Coin 952 452 767 San Pedro 952 787 700

Town Halls

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Marbella 952 761 100 San Pedro 952 453 020 La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208 Fuengirola 952 589 300 Estepona 952 801 100

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Fire Brigade Emergency number 080 Marbella 952 774 349 Estepona 952 804 483 Fuengirola 952 461 046

Consulates

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British Ireland Denmark Sweden Germany France U.S.A

952 952 952 952 952 952 952

352 475 226 604 212 226 474

300 108 373 383 442 590 891

Tourist Information

Marbella Coin Estepona Fuengirola San Pedro

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Cinemas

Bus Stations Marbella 952 764 400 Coin 952 450 366 San Pedro 952 781 396 Estepona 952 800249 For a list of complete times www.andalucia.com/travel/bus

952 771 442 952 822 818 952 822 818 952 467 457 952 785 252

All the Cinemas listed below show films in English as well as Spanish. Call first to check what is showing that week.

Marbella: Cinesur Plaza del Mar 952 766 941 La Cañada 902 333 231 Puerto Banus: Gran Marbella 952 810 077 Coin: La Trocha 951 315 039 Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221 622

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Central number for Fire, Police & Ambulance National Police Local Police Guardia Civil dica

(Marina)

Transport

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Emergency Numbers

Markets Monday - Marbella (fairground site on east side) Tuesday - Fuengirola (fairground near Los Boliches) Wednesday - Estepona (Avda.

Juan Carlos) La Cala - Feria ground Thursday - San Pedro (Recinto Ferial) Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama) Friday - Alhaurin el Grande (Bar Aquamania) Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano Pineda) La Cala - Feria ground.

Sunday - Puerto Estepona

Chemists 24 hour chemist Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz Km 194. Marbella.

Tel: 952 83 25 89

Taxis Marbella Taxis 952 774 488 Mijas Costa Taxis 952 476 593

Diary Dates January 5th is the eve of Three Kings’ Day, Día de Reyes. There are parades throughout Andalucia.

January 6th Three King’s Day, Día de Reyes, is a public holiday in Spain.

if you would like to sponsor this page please call 663 061 669

e l i t e Glass Curtains SL SPECIALIST MANUFACTURERS AND INSTALLERS OF GLASS CURTAINS Protect and reduce effect of dust, wind, noise &

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Trade and commercial enquiries welcome

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Protect and reduce the effects of dust, wind, noise rain on your balcony & rain on your balcony

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We will beat any like for like quotation

For your free no obligation quotation call now on PHONE - 952 830 503 MOBILE - 630 625 085 E-MAIL - info@eliteglasscurtains.com WEB - www.eliteglasscurtains.com ELITE GLASS CURTAINS S.L., POLIGONO ELVIRIA 26, ELVIRIA 29600

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951 275 257 619 412 288 TILE SHOWROOM PA I N T WA R E H O U S E

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www.hardrock-tiles.com www.hardrock-paints.com Email: info@hardrock-tiles.com

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We have a HUGE variety of tiles to choose from, most of which we have available in stock, at FANTASTIC DISCOUNT PRICES. Visit our showroom at Calle Bilbao No.4, San Pedro de Alcantara, and let us help transform your terrace, kitchen or bathroom.

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BULK PAINTS PROMOTION

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10% EXTRA DISCOUNT JUST SHOW THIS LEAFLET

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€1.75 PER LT

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WAS €6.00 LT

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Your Entertainment Guide Thursdays

Live Sports - Bar Shenanigans, Riviera del Sol. Quiz & Bingo - Bar Shenanigans, Riviera del Sol. Film Night - Bunkers Bar Bistro, Miraflores Driving Range.

Karaoke - Fools Bar, El Zoco, Calahonda.

Karaoke - 9pm, Charleys Bar, Riviera del Sol. Quiz Night - JJ’s Bar, Riviera del Sol. Karaoke - Sisters Bar, The Strip, Calahonda.

Quiz - 80’s Quiz. Sisters Bar, The Strip, Calahonda.

Tuesdays Quiz Night - 9.30pm, Bunkers Bar Bistro, Miraflores Driving Range.

Karaoke - Fools bar. El Zoco, Calahonda.

Fridays

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Quiz Night - Captains Bar, La Cala.

Bingo & Quiz - 9.30pm Bunkers Bar Bistro, Miraflores Driving Range.

Indian & Chinease Night -The Far Isle, Authentic Indian or Chinese Cuisine.

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Karaoke - “Paul the Bear” Bar Shenanigans, 9.30pm Riviera del Sol. Fish & Chip Night - BunkersBar Bistro, Miraflores Driving Range.

Bingo - Captains Bar, La Cala Fish and Chip Night - The Far Isle, Riviera del Sol. Dart League - Sussex Bar, La Cala.

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Mondays

Continued on page 46

great places to eat, drink and be entertained.

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Snack Attack Cafe - Bar Due to popular demand Snack Attack is now open on Sundays 10am - 4pm for Breakfast, Lunch and our popular ROAST DINNER 2 courses for only 10 €

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Open from 7.30 for Quality Breakfast, Lunch and Sandwiches

GREAT VALUE BREAKFAST ONLY 3.95€

LUNCH TIME SPECIALS (changes daily) KITCHEN NOW OPEN UNTIL 6PM Early EVENING TAPAS AVAilable

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Everything available as take away for days out Why not take a baguette of your choice to the Local 26 Jardín Botánico, beach or airport?

La Cala de Mijas NOW IN OUR 6 T H YEAR Tel: 952 493 184

On the Sunny Side of the Street

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.PO 'SJ DPVSTF NFBM ESJOL è GSPN UIF TQFDJBMT CPBSE

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Traditional Sunday Roast

#SJOH UIJT BEWFSU XJUI ZPV XIFO ZPV IBWF B 4VOEBZ 3PBTU ZPV XJMM SFDFJWF B DPNQMJNFOUBSZ CPUUMF PG XJOF QFS UBCMF 0GGFS POMZ WBMJE +BO .BS

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Just

â‚Ź20 a

Telephone:

month

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663 061 669

All live sports and premiere league football. Six TV’s and big screen. Full menu, Sunday roast and homemade tapas. Large sun terrace. Open 10amlate, seven days a week. Upstairs Los Jarales.

Nemos Bar

Sisters Bar

Front line Fuengirola port.

Open all day. 6 days a week.

Pool table and Sky Sports.

Friendly family bar. Tasty homemade food.

Value for money specials & tapas. Draught beer from 1â‚Ź. All sports on large screen. Fun karaoke nights. The Strip, Calahonda Tel: 952 939 579

Los Jarales

Harrys Sports Bar

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Calahonda

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Nueva Andalucia

MADHATTERS

Next to Barclays Bank, Nueva Andalucia - Tel 951 279 080

Winter Warmers...

A dash of lemon and a couple of cloves (both M e t hoptional) od

Hot Toddy...

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Villa Paradiso - Open since 1989

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Small friendly bar. Daily sport. Karaoke on Tues and Thursday. All football matches shown. First floor El Zoco (corner) Tel: 952 935 340

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El Zoco, Calahonda

Fools Bar

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Ingredients

50ml/2 fl oz./3.5 tablespoons of strong alcohol such as: Whisky - You don't need to blow your best single malt on this, and you probably wouldn't be able to appreciate it anyway.

A supermarket blend will do just fine.

Bourbon Dark rum, such as Pusser's Rum, or even overproof Rum - although you probably don't need to use quite as much for the desired effect Brandy 50ml/2fl oz./3.5 tablespoons boiling water Half a teaspoon of honey

1) Give this recipe to somebody else. If you have a partner, flatmate, parent, sibling or responsible offspring present - get them to go to the kitchen while you curl up under a blanket - you're poorly, remember!?

2) Place the alcohol in a container and stir the honey into the whisky.

3) Add the boiling water (pouring it over the teaspoon to clean off the last of the honey).

4) At this stage you may wish to pop it into a microwave to make sure it's really piping hot. Make sure the toddy is in a microwavable container and cook for no more than a minute or until it's fizzing and you can smell alcohol.

5) Add lemon and cloves to taste.

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Your nose is running, your throat is sore: you've got a cold. What you need is a hot toddy to make you feel better!

Trafalgar Cocktail Bar

Italian Restaurant

Italian restaurant. Taste the genuine Italian food in attractive decor. Open seven days a week, 1pm till late. C.C. El Zoco, first floor, Sitio de Calahonda. Tel: 952 932 042

ADVERTISE YOUR BAR OR RESTAURANT HERE Just

For before and after dinner drinks. Live music Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Open every evening until late. El Zoco First floor, Sito de Calahonda. Mijas Costa.

â‚Ź20 a month

Telephone: 663 061 669

€20 a Telephone:

AZ IN E bars and restaurant guide

CHI ESE RESTAURA T

Just

SPECIAL LUNCHTIME MENU 12PM - 4PM STARTERS

month

663 061 669

Spring Roll, Special Salad, Chicken and Sweetcorn/Tomato/Hot and Sour Soup or Spare Ribs.

The Sussex Bar

MAIN COURSE

Beef with Blackbean/Oyster/Chinese Mushroom and Bamboo/Curry or Chicken with Cashew Nuts/Sweet and Sour/Curry or Prawns with Vegetables or Sweet and Sour Fish (Hake)

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RICE AND NOODLES

Special House Fried Rice, Boiled Rice or Noodles with Soya Bean Sprouts or Chips

DESSERTS

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Coffee, Tea, Ice Cream, Cream Caramel or Fruit Main restaurant serving usual delicacies 6pm - 12pm

Jardin Botanico, Local 16, La Cala de Mijas.

Tel: 952 599 236. Mob: 685 578 743

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Food served 10am -10pm.

Sunday Lunch 1pm - 9pm.

Thursday quiz night, Friday darts league, Saturdays Karaoke. La Cortijera. La Cala.

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Friendly Atmosphere, Family Bar, Children Welcome

KID’S MEAL DEAL €3.89 -

Choose from Sausage, Hot dog, Chicken nuggets,

Fish fingers or Burger all served with Chips and including Soft Drink, Ice Cream or Chock Stick.

BIGGEST ROAST ON THE COAST 2 MEAL DEAL - Choose any two meals for just €10

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Great places to eat and drink in La Cala 44

HONG KONG

ADVERTISE YOUR BAR OR RESTAURANT HERE

(Monday to Saturdays) Buy two glasses of wine €4 or buy the bottle for just €5.99

Thursday Night - Quiz Nights, Friday Night - Bingo Two large, sunny terraces.

Pool Table Internet access All live sport shown.

Happy Hour 5pm-7pm Monday - Friday Las Adelfas No.11 Urb. Los Claveles

Tel: 952 493 763

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PORTSIDE CAFE - BAR

Everything direct from London Pie, Mash and Liquer Jellied Eels, Dressed crab, Whelks, Peeled prawns, Mussels, Winkles and much more!

Eat In and Take Away Now supplying wholesale

Traditional and Vegetarian Fayre available including: Burgers, Lasagne, Currys, Chillis, Fresh salads, Homemade chips, All day breakfasts and much more. Quorn products, Childrens menu, and a selection of Desserts also available.

Open daily Tuesday Sunday 10.00 18.00 Frontline Fuengirola Port Marina. Tel: 672 028 226

Fuengirola

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bars and restaurant guide

Cockles Seafood

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Fine Indian Cuisine Restaurant and Take Away Open from 6pm - Midnight

Tel: 902 Indian(902 463 426)

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AZ IN E AG M NK LI TA CO S Mughal Village Urb. Torrenueva, Mijas Costa Fine Indian Cuisine. Restaurant and Take Away Open from 6pm - Midnight Tel: 902 463 426

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Family Day- Grill Special by Chef, Grand Palms, Riviera.

Live Entertainment - Mad Terry, from 5pm Shaggys, Fuengirola Port, Courtyard.

Bingo - 9.30pm Bunkers Bar, Miraflores.

Sunday Roast - 1pm - 10pm, The Far Isle, Riviera del Sol. Live Music - 9pm, Charleys Bar, Riviera del Sol. Sunday Roast - All Day, Bunkers Bar Bistro, Miraflores Driving Range

Fridays ‘cont’ Live Music - Trafalgar Bar, El Zoco.

Saturdays

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Live Music - Bar Shenanigans, Riviera del Sol. Karaoke - Sister Bar. The Strip, Calahonda.

Live Music - with Dave the Brave. Tony’s Bar, La Cortijera, La Cala Karaoke - Sisters Bar, The Strip, Calahonda.

Live Music - Trafalgar bar, El Zoco, Calahonda.

All Live Sports - 5.30 - 9.45 Bunkers Bar Bistro, Miraflores Driving Range.

Call: 663 061 669

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Sunday Roast & Live Music - Vista Del Mar. 1 till 6pm €10.95 Plus live music.

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ADVERTISE YOUR EVENTS!

Sundays

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“the heart and soul of the campo”

Text: 637 89 86 89 48

great places to eat, drink and be entertained

Your Entertainment Guide

Dibleys Tapas

Bar

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La Cala de Mijas, Opposite the church. Tel: 952 493 042

Totally Refurbished and Outside Courtyard

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Tapas 12pm - 3pm & 6pm - 10pm English and Spanish mix Full menu available 6pm - 10pm Sunday - Sunday Roast only. 12pm - 10pm

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Beef/pork/lamb €8 Chicken €7

to go...

Sandwich Bar

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Filled baguettes, sandwiches and salads to eat in or take away.

- 5pm Jane 10am and Steve formerly from ‘to go’

and Claire Gary formerly952 from Captains Bar 493 042 Ring to and pre-order:

Traditional Chinese Food. Takeaway menu.

Special lunch menu only €6.95.

Open 12.00-16.00 and 18.30-24.00 everyday.

Riviera Commercial. Tel: 952 931 737

Papa Luigi

Traditional Italian food. Fresh pasta, wood burning pizza oven, Open every day 12 - 11.

Riviera Commercial, Tel: 952 934 496

AZ IN E bars and restaurant guide

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Golden Sun

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Great places to eat and drink in Riviera del Sol & Miraflores

Family Bar Internet Quizzes and Karaoke Live Entertainment Pool Tables Games Machines Open for Food Closed Tuesdays Beachside, Riviera del Sol Tel: 952 935 676

CHARLEY’S BAR & RESTAURANT

UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT

SUNDAY ROAST with Fresh Veg & Yorkshire Pud & Dessert for just 10€ Adults & 4.50€ Children NEW DAY & EVENING MENUS & DAILY SPECIALS SNACKS & TAKEAWAY AVAILABLE ALL DAY OPEN EVERYDAY SUNNY TERRACE, SEA VIEWS & SKY SPORTS. Live Entertainment - Sunday, Cash Bingo Tuesday, Karaoke - Thursday. All from 9pm

Tel: 615 315 605

1ST FLOOR RIVIERA COMMERCIAL (NEAR THE CHEMISTS), RIVIERA DEL SOL, MIJAS COSTA.

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Freshly Cooked Versatile Menu.

Warm Friendly Atmosphere.

Above Shenanigans, Beachside, Riviera del Sol Tel: 952 935 039. Closed Tuesdays.

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JJ’s Bar

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Bunkers Bar Bistro

RIVIERA DEL SOL

New menu 2&3 course specials including wine from 11.95€. Breakfast, brunches, evening dinner open every day from 10am. Terrace for private functions. Miraflores Driving Range. Tel: 952 939 381

Specialists in Argentinian grilled meat.

Take away. Open daily 10.00 - 23.00.

Closed Tuesdays. Las Terrazas de Miraflores Tel: 952 930 649

CLM©2008

En Un Rincon De La Boca

WITH LARGE SUNNY TERRACE AND FANTASTIC VIEWS OVER THE MED. LIVE SPORT FUN QUIZ NIGHTS - THURS MUSIC NIGHTS Avenida del Golf

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SMALL FRIENDLY BAR

Riviera del sol JJ’s Bar

Great places to eat and drink in Riviera del Sol & Miraflores

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the terrace.

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bars and restaurant guide

Beautiful panoramic sea and beach views from

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We can supply and fit a Power Saving System which will turn off electric when departing your appartment and turning it back on upon arrival saving lots of ENERGY!!

Systems that you can text or phone to switch on or off the water heater or aircon.

Water Heater timers installed.

Solar Heated Swimming Pools Solar Heated Water and Much More ...

Make the place greener and start saving money today.

Spas 4 You .Com

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HOT TUBS & JACUZZI SPAS A spa for every size and budget Estepona Poligono Please call to make an appointment to view.

902 88 11 02 617 63 92 15 www.spas4you.com email: info@spas4you.com

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Power Clean

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Professional Mobile Car Cleaning Service

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Tel - 689 898 682 Mini Valet Hand wash and dry, interior vacum & polish, tyre & plastic dressing.

From â‚Ź17.50 Marbella - Dequesa 7 Days a week 53

Appreciate what you have...

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And we have imported lamps in our garden . . . where they have the stars!

And our garden goes to the edge of our property. But they have the entire horizon as their back yard!"

At the end of the son's reply the father was speechless.

His son then said, "Thank you dad for showing me how poor we really are."

Isn't it true that all depends on the lens you use to see life?

You can ask yourself what would happen if we give thanks for what we have instead of always asking for more.

Learn to appreciate what you have.

Wealth is all in one's point of view!

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One day . . . a wealthy family man took his son on a trip to the country, so his son could see how poor country people lived.

They stayed one day and one night in the home of a very humble farmer. At the end of the trip, when they were back home, the father asked his son, "What did you think of the trip?"

The son replied, "Very nice dad."

Then the father asked his son, "Did you notice how poor they were?"

The son replied, "Yes." The father continued asking, "What did you learn?"

The son responded, "I learned that we have one dog in our house, and they have four.

Also, we have a fountain in our garden, but they have a stream that has no end.

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It’s time to advertise in the

Costa Link Magazine

FUJITSU / GENERAL AIRCONDITIONING FULLY INSTALLED

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SPLITS FROM 550€ DUCTED FROM 2000€

Solar Water Heating Fully Installed From 1,000 euro

3 YEARS GUARANTEE

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Servicing and repairs all makes & models. Service contracts.

TEL: 666 087 496

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EMAIL: econocool@hotmail.es

We are children of the 80’s! sang back up to you and everyone wanted a skirt like the Material Girl and a glove like Michael Jackson's.

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☺We are the ones who played with Lego Building Blocks when they were just building blocks and gave Malibu Barbie crewcuts with safety scissors that never really cut.We collected Garbage Pail Kids and Cabbage Patch Kids and My LittlePonies and Hot Wheels and He-Man action figures and thought She-Ra looked just a little bit like I would when I was a woman. ☺Big Wheels and bicycles with streamers were the way to go. It made the Ewok Treehouse big enough for you to be Luke and the kitchen table and an old sheet dark enough to be a tent in the forest. With your pink portable tape player, Debbie Gibson

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☺Friendship bracelets were ties you couldn't break and friendship pins went on shoes - preferably hightop Velcro Reeboks - and pegged jeans were in, as were Units belts and layered socks and jean jackets and jams and charm necklaces and side pony tails and just tails. Rave was a girl's best friend; braces with colored rubberbands made you cool. ☺You remember Monster Munch when they were 10p. ☺You recorded songs off the radio with your boom box. ☺You could have got away with it if it wasn't for those meddling kids. ☺Partying "like it's 1999" seemed SO far away... Oh the 80’s what a time to be a kid!

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☺We are the children of the Eighties. We are not the first "lost generation" nor today's lost generation; in fact, we think we know just where we stand - or are discovering it as we speak.

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Ello Darlin Are the lines working for you or are you wearing someone else’s drink? All lines have been tried and tested but we wont say if they work or not!

♦ I may be no Fred Flintstone but I can sure make your Bedrock. ♦ Got any beer at Home? ♦ I want to father your children.

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♦ It's your lucky day - my girlfriend dumped me last night, so I'm back on the singles market.

♦ You know, for a tall chick you're feet aren't too big. ♦ You're ugly but you intrigue me.

♦ I want you to have my children... they're in the car outside.

♦ Do you go for casual sex or would you prefer me to dress up?

♦ I suffer from amnesia - do I come here often?

♦ Hi. I'm gay, think you can convert me?

♦ What is a fine-looking woman like you doing with a guy like that?

♦ Are we related? Do you want to be?

♦ Well, if youre not gonna buy me a drink, I suppose a quickie in the car park is out of the question . ♦ Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

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♦ I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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♦ You look almost stupid enough to date me.

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♦ I've been trying to talk to you for ages.

No, I still can't do it.

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BEAUTY TIPS FROM VARSHA HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHY SOME PEOPLE LOOK YOUNGER THAN THEY REALLY ARE? NU SKIN® HAS UNLOCKED THE SCIENCE BEHIND THEIR SECRET

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Only Nu Skin®’s exclusive, PATENT pending ageLOC™ technology can help slow the production of these skin damaging free radicals at their source, helping you control your skin’s future. When your complexion looks tired and stressed, a spa facial can provide the revitalisation you need. Pre-Treatment Gel helps remove impurities so your pores can breathe and prepares your skin for Treatment Gel. Newly reformulated Treatment Gel contains all the benefits of the original and now features ageLOC™ technology, a proprietary new ingredient blend that helps slow the signs of ageing at their source. Get results that you can see with benefits that last into the future. With the stress of modern life spa treatments are a requisite for looking and feeling great. It is scientifically proven to deliver ingredients more affectively into the skin increasing their benefits.

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SMOOTH AWAY CELLULITE WITH GALVANIC SPA™ II BODY SHAPING GEL

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Galvanic Spa™ II Body Shaping Gel works exclusively with theGalvanic Spa™ II instrument to minimise and smooth the appearance of cellulite.

This spa treatment concentrates cellular energy to target pockets of fat and toxins for a more toned, firm appearance. Featuring theobromine and golden chamomile, this advanced treatment helps decrease fat storage and activate fat breakdown, promoting a firmer, more toned appearance.

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SMOOTH YOUR LINES AND WRINKLES WITH TRU FACE™ LINE CORRECTOR

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Tru Face™ Line Corrector contains a positively charged pro-collagen peptide – an ideal ingredient to pair with our exclusive Galvanic Spa™ II technology.

When used with the focus area conductor and positive current setting on the Galvanic Spa instrument, this pro-collagen peptide delivers enhanced results.

OFFERS FOR JANUARTY & FEBRUARY 2010

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FACECrystal Clear Microdermabrasion Normal Price 75.00 Euros Special Offer 60.00 Euros

EYES (Length & Volume) Hollywood lashes Full set Normal Price 100.00 Euros Special Offer 70.00 Euros HAIR Receive a FREE Blow Dry with every full head of Highlights or full head of colour

Nu-Skin (Age loc Galvanic Treatment) To smooth out lines and wrinkles &rejuvenate complexion in only just half an hour Normal Price 30.00 Euros Offer Price 24.00 Euros NAILS Book a new set of Gel Nails with Forever French & receive your 1st infill for half price POWER PLATEBook 6 for 50.00 Euros

Tel: 952 897 907 - Mbl: 608 364 712 www.varshabeauty.com - varsha_siyani@hot mail.com

Never to be outdone...

The third man's son, Albert, has worked his way up through a stock brokerage, and in the last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio as a gift.

"My son BIll," says one, "has made quite a name for himself in the building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction company. He's so successful in fact, in the last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift."

As the fourth man arrives at the tee, another tells him that they have been discussing their progeny and asks what line of work his son is in.

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"To tell the truth, I'm not very pleased with how my son turned out," he replies. "For 15 years, Frank's been a hairdresser, and I've just recently discovered he's gay.

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However, on the bright side, he must be good at what he does because his last three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two cars, and a big pile of stock certificates."

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The second man, not to be out done, tells how his son began his career as a car salesman, but now owns a number of car showrooms. "George is so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave his friend two brand new cars as a gift."

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Four friends go out to play golf one sunny morning. One is detained in the clubhouse, and the other three are discussing their children while walking to the first tee.

DRAIN & LEAK

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SOLUTIONS S.L.

High Pressure water jetting Drain tracing, C.C.T.V. Septic tank problems and installations Bath, sinks and toilets unblocked Leak detection and repairs

Fully Qualified, Fully Legal, No Call Out Fee.

Tel: 951 310 111 60

Mobile: 651 111 005

www.drainandleak.com

CLMŠ2008

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Solutions on page 90

Puzzle It Out Quick Crossword Across

Down

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1. Journal (5) 2. Menagerie (3) 3. World's longest river (4) 4. Secret or hidden (6) 5. Bustling (7) 6. Abated (5) 9. Placed a bet (7)

Picture Puzzles

16. Large spider (9) 18. The lowest point of anything (5) 19. Implied

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1. Twelve (5) 4. Hoard (5) 7. Unaware (9) 8. Gape (4) 10. Wore away (6) 12. Birds of prey (6) 13. Notion (4)

11. Thinner (6) 12. Consumed (5) 14.Proficient (5) 15.Female relative (4) 17. Part of a circle (3)

Sudoku

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Can you work out what common phrases or sayings these pictures represent?

Mathematical Teaser

Using four sevens (7) and a one (1) create the number 100. Except the five numerals you can use the usual mathematical operations (+, -, x, :), root and brackets ().

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Say What You See...

ci ii

READING

to sponsor this page please call: 663 061 669

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Strange but true...

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the predicament of his companion. The men on board of the dories, which had just returned from visiting their trawls, had barely time to make fast their painter ere the vessel started. Another dory, with two men, was at some distance, also visiting their trawls. The captain stood ready with axe in hand, in case of emergency, and allowed the whale to tow them some distance; but not wishing to lose sight of the men in the dory, was obliged to cut the cable - otherwise he might have succeeded in capturing the whale.

Whether or not his whaleship succeeded in getting rid of the anchor and tow-line is not known, as no account has yet come to hand of his being fallen in with. It was rather a novel method of being towed.

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On December 16 1874, while schooner Sultana, Capt. Peterson, of this port, was at anchor on Grand Bank, there was a sudden motion felt by those on board the vessel, and it was evident that the craft was being carried through the water by some unseen and unknown motive power.

Looking forward, it was observed that the cable was drawn taut, and that some `monster of the deep' was attached thereto, and drawing the vessel along at the rate of twelve knots an hour. Soon they obtained positive evidence, as a mammoth whale came to the surface to blow, having the anchor of the vessel either hooked into his jaw or blow-hole.

There was also another whale which swam near, evidently greatly astonished at

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METACONA Manufacturers of ornate iron work

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Aluminium doors and windows Mosquito screens Shower screens Electric shutters suppliers of scissor gates Stainless steEl welding and fabrications Toldos manual or electric cctv and smoke screen

Nave 8, Fase 3, Poligono La Vega, Camino Coin, Mijas Costa

Tel: 617 760 155 Email: metacona@hotmail.com 64

to advertise please call 663 061 669

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teleweb internet & telephone just got better!

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For more information on any of the above, please call teleweb on: 952 833 300 or email: info@teleweb-marbella.

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teleweb internet & telephone has been providing wireless internet services since 2003, and in that time, has seen consistent growth and added new exciting services to its well established high speed 5GHz wireless internet service.

FLEXIBILITY: Because you do not need a land line, you can have internet on a ‘Pay as you go’ system. There are flexible solutions ranging from one hour to a permanent connection for someone who lives here full

time. Do you have a wireless internet system that you are not happy with? teleweb will convert you over to their service at no cost. What have you got to lose?

EXCITING NEWS! teleweb offers a telephone system (without the need for a landline) with calls from 1.8c per minute. It is just like a Telefonica landline without the wires. No need to have your computer on to make and receive calls.

Choose a telephone number from your home country or just elect to have a Malaga number. This system will work anywhere in the world with the same low call costs, you just need an internet connection.

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For all your insurance needs under one roof ...

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Best cover and most competitive rates for Cars, Bikes, Travel, House, Bars, Offices, Life, Private Health, Savings, Mortgage Protection and Dental.

AXA Agent

CLM©2008

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Protection Plans for the Self Employed, Sickness, Accident and Disability.

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PARKER SOL PROPERTIES & COSTALETS Tel: 952 56 39 39 / 608 44 09 12 www.costalet.com C.I.F: B-92171388

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C/ Sagitario 6, Jardines de Gamonal Blq 7, 29631 Arroyo de la Miel IF YOU WISH TO BUY, SELL OR RENT LONG TERM FROM TORREMOLINOS TO ELVIRIA, CALL US NOW.

AREA SALES: CALL STEVE - 636 829 631 BARGAIN 89,000€

135,000€

MIJAS GOLF. 1 BED

CALA DE MIJAS

CALA DE MIJAS - GROUNDFLOOR

GOOD SIZE APARTMENT BEAUTIFUL URBANIZATION COMMUNAL POOL&FOUNTAINS BEAUTIFUL VIEWS OVER POOL

PENTHOUSE 2 BEDS/1 BATH GREAT SEA/POOL GARDEN VIEWS - CLOSE TO AMENITIES 5 min from Cala de Mijas & Beach PRICED BELOW VALUE

PRIVATE GARDEN & OFF ROAD CAR PORT LOUNGE WITH LARGE & SUNNY TERRACE COMMUNAL POOL & GARDEN 5 Mins from Cala de Mijas & Beach

115,000€

120,000€!!!

BENALMADENA COSTA

BENALMADENA COSTA

BENALMADENA COSTA

STUDIO, MINERVA COMPLEX, VIEWS OVER GARDENS ENTRANCE TOTALLY REFORMED & REFURBISHED 24 HR RECEPTION, SAT TV, BEAUTIFUL POOLS & GARDENS.

1 BED, JUPITER COMPLEX, REFORMED, NEW KITCHEN & BATHROOM TOTALLY FURNISHED SAT TV, 24HR RECEPTION HUGE COMMUNAL POOL & GARDEN

1 BED APARTMENT JUPITER COMPLEX, CORNER WRAP ROUND TERRACE GREAT SEA & PALOMA PARK VIEWS NEW KITCHEN, SOLD FULLY FURNISHED GURANTEED RENTAL INCOME

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Only 69,000€!!!

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ONLY 139,950€!

MANY OTHERS PROPERTYS AVAILABLE. CALL FOR DETAILS. RENTALS MIJAS AREA RENTALS BENALMADENA AREA CALL ALISTAIR:- 608 440 912 CALL STEVE:- 651 756 185

MIJAS/FUENGIROLA, STUDIO 300€ PM MIRAFLORES, 3B/2B PENTHOUSE 900€ PM FUENGIROLA, 3B/2B VILLA 1200€ PM

GAMONAL AREA STUDIOS 300€ PM JUPITER COMPLEX, 1 BED OVER GARDENS 500€ PM ARENAL GOLF, 2 BEDS / 2 BATHS 500€ PM

MANY OTHERS AVAILABLE

Swift

AirtechAC

Glass and Glazing Poligono La Rosa, Alhaurin El Grande.

FOR THE PERFECT CLIMATE, ALL YEAR ROUND

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Your Website on page 1 of Google For less than 20€ per month Limited availability & offer

Be found by more customers looking to buy your services

Call: 625 276 924 Now! E: info@siteclimbers.com W: www.siteclimbers.com

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For free quotations or advice on any aspect of our work please call: 952 490 169 / 687701430 or email: swiftconstruct.glass@gmail.com

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www.airtechacspain.com info@airtechacspain.com

Glass Curtains Glass Cut to Size Shower Screens Glass Enclosures Safety Glass Hand made Mirrors Table Tops

T Y RES S U PP L IE D AN D F ITT ED AT H O ME O R W OR K F R O M MALAGA TO GI BR ALTA R

6 7i n6 186 499 fo@tyres-2-u.com

QUALITY HEATING AND AIR-CONDITIONING UNITS AT COMPETITIVE PRICES FULL INSTALLATION SPECIALIST KNOWLEDGE AND COMPLETE SERVICE AND MAINTENANCE RANGE OF SERVICES FOR COMMERCIAL CUSTOMERS. Finca Dorada 5, El Chaparral, Mijas Costa Phone: +34 952 599 019 or +34 607 793 923

All aspects of Glass work undertaken

PUNCTURES 24 HOUR CALL OUT HIGH PERFORMANCE & 4 X 4 SPECIALISTS BUDGET & BRANDED TYRES 7 DAYS A WEEK

RETAINING WALL SOLUTIONS

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Are you wasting valuable land?

Garden on a slope, no room for a pool?

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A modular block system and EC7 approved An engineered solution means a safe retaining wall No more waiting - fast installation and a planned programme Looks l ike natural stone – custom colouring Affordable and maintenance free No hidden costs Guaranteed work, qual ified installers

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Tel/Fax: 0034 952 666 547 www.retainingwallsolutions.eu

Mmm..... fresh coriander leaves, to garnish Method

This healthy yummy version of the Mexican classic is an ideal winter warmer served with rice or a jacket potato!

Ingredients 2 tablespoons of olive oil 1 large onion, finely chopped 2 garlic cloves, crushed 2 fresh chillies, deseeded and chopped 2 tsp ground cumin 1 tsp ground coriander 1 tsp paprika A pinch of cayenne pepper 1 x 397g/14oz can chopped tomatoes 1 level tbsp tomato puree 284ml/½ pint beef stock Salt and ground black pepper 454g/1lb extra lean beef, minced 1 x 198g/7oz can red kidney beans, drained

1. Put the oil into a large saucepan or wok and fry the minced beef until brown. Drain off the fat. Add the onion to the mince and cook gently until softened.

2. Add the garlic, chillies and all the spices and continue frying, stirring occasionally, for 2-3 minutes.

3. Add the canned tomatoes, tomato puree and stock. Stir well and bring to the boil.

Reduce the heat and simmer gently for 15 minutes, until the liquid is slightly reduced.

4. Season with salt and pepper and add the drained kidney beans. Heat through gently for about 5 minutes.

5. Serve hot, sprinkled with chopped coriander leaves, with some plain boiled and a green salad. Tip: A dollop of low fat natural yogurt on the top is extremely tasty!

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Classic Chilli Con Carni.....

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Vincenza Designer Lingerie

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We are able to offer a carefully selected range of exclusive designer lingerie from around the world at affordable prices.

We can obtain hard to find sizes and all our products are manufactured in Europe.

Most products come packaged in branded boxes.

Contact us now for our current brochure vincenza.lingerie@gmail.com

Tel. 671 915 292 70

LOCAL & EUROPEAN REMOVALS

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NO JOB TOO BIG OR TOO SMALL

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We are a friendly team that enjoy our work so if you are really serious about your transport or removal needs, then please give us a call and speak to someone that has the knowledge, experience and enthusiasm to help you make the right choices.

We look forward to hearing from you soon!

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TEL: 952 816 582 www.focus-transport.com

Nast y Bug...

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pain. Then the big bug left.

The fourth night Harold didn't drink at all.

The doorbell rang. The cockroach was standing there. The bug beat six bells out of Harold and left him in a heap on the living room floor.

The following day, Harold went to see his doctor. He explained events of the preceding four nights. "What can I do?" he pleaded.

"Not much" the doctor replied. "There's just a nasty bug going around."

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Every night, Harold would go down to the off licence, get a six pack, bring it home, and drink it while he watched TV. One night, as he finished his last beer, the doorbell rang. He stumbled to the door and found a six-foot cockroach standing there. The bug grabbed him by the collar and threw him across the room, and left.

The next night, after he finished his 3th beer, the doorbell rang.

He walked slowly to the door and found the same six-foot cockroach standing there. The big bug punched him in the stomach, then left.

The next night, after he finished his 1st beer, the doorbell rang again. The same six-foot cockroach was standing there.

This time he was kneed in the groin and hit behind the ear as he doubled over in

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Your long term property rental specialists

Riviera del Sol 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom penthouse apartment. Fully furnished, the penthouse benefits from huge wrap around terraces and a store room. €600 per month.

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La Cala de Mijas Brand new, 2 bed 2 bath Unfurnished townhouse with office, garage, storeroom and garden. Communal pool, sauna and paddle tennis. €650 per month.

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Riviera del Sol 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom, tastefully furnished villa. Lovely, large kitchen/breakfast room and storage room. Community pool for just 4 villas. €1100 per month.

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C. C. Las Terrazas, Local 21, Calle Acuario, Riviera del Sol. Tel: 952 939 924 Mob: 671 093 925 Website: www.costarents.com Email: info@costarents.com

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Mijas Costa 2 detatched villas for either long or short term rental, both 2 bed, 2 bath, next door to each other. Private pools and large sunbathing and BBQ areas. €1200 per month.

Riviera del Sol Large furnished 4 bed, 3 bath townhouse with spacious kitchen, lounge/diner, conservatory, large patio, roof terrace, storage. €850 per month.

La Quinta Modern unfurnished 2 bed, 2 bath apartment in La Quinta Golf. Lovely views over the pool and mountains, modern kitchen & bathrooms. 2 available €750 per month.

Urgentl y required Townhouses and villas.

Please see our website www.costarents.com for many more properties!

Reserva del Higueron This 3 bed 2 bath unfurnished detached villa is finished to a high specification with a private pool and a large 3 car garage. €1500 per month or for sale €560,000.

Free Propert y Finder Service Tell us your wish list and if it’s on the market we’ll find it for you!

Golf Tips And Tricks push it into the soil at the back of the hole again at the centre.

Short Putting

by Mark Sibley of Miraflores Golf Academy

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4. Set yourself up at the tee peg marking the putters length from the hole and putt the balls through the gateway with enough power to hit the tee at the back of the hole.

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Here is a drill to use on the putting green that will help you make missing the short putt a thing of the past.

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You will need 3 golf balls preferably the same type you use when you play , range balls are no good and 4 golf tees. Find a hole on the putting green that is cut level so you can set to putt at the centre of the cup

2. Lay your putter on the ground , the toe of the putter just touching the edge of the hole and mark the length of your putter using a tee peg.

3.With this set take two tee pegs and make a gateway about 1cm wider than the width of a ball the centre of the hole in the centre of the gateway, then take a third tee and

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5. Your goal is to positive putt sinking 10 balls in a row , when you can do this move up to 2 putters length and start again your confidence will improve and your score will come down.

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First never putt on a line outside the circumference of the hole unless an unhappy green keeper has cut the hole into a step slope on the green and second always putt strong enough for the ball to hit the back edge of the hole before it drops that is positive putting and how you get good at sinking short putts .

AZ IN E

The short putt is seen by many golfers as the most difficult shot in the bag, it is fair to say that the closer you get to the hole, the more that little golfer who sits on every golfers shoulder is telling you cant miss that one, your to close to the hole , if you miss that you cant call yourself a golfer and often that little golfer and the pressure he puts on you over the ball is the reason you are not confident over a short putt.

MARK SIBLEY

PGA GOLF PROFESSIONAL

UK QUALIFIED 15 YEARS OF COACHING EXPERIENCE LESSONS FOR ALL LEVELS OF GOLFER BEGINNER TO PLAYING PROFESSIONAL LESSON PACKAGES AVAILABLE NOW BASED AT THE MIRAFLORES GOLF ACADEMY NOW WITH FULLY STOCKED PROFESSIONAL SHOP MIRAFLORES DRIVING RANGE & GOLF ACADEMY. S/N RIVIERA DEL SOL, 29649 MIJAS COSTA. TEL: 952 933 729 OR 678 833 736

Golf Academy

Sponsored by Mark Sibley - Miraflores Golf Academy

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WINTER 2010 1STFEB 2009 TO 31STMAY 2010 65.00 € 34.00 €

BUGGY BUGGY

25.00 € 12.50 €

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SPECIAL OFFER BUGGY RENTAL AFTER 12:00 (HRS) 15,00€

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18 HOLES 9 HOLES

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TWILIGHT GOLF ‘Call for details’

SANTA MARIA GOLF & COUNTRY CLUB Urb. Elviria, C.N.340 Km. 192 29604 Marbella (Malaga) Tel: 952 831 036 Fax: 952 834 797 E-Mail: caddymaster@santamariagolfclub.com Website: www.santamariagolfclub.com

Why Oh Why?!? thousands in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

2. Why oh Why are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

7. Why oh Why do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

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1. Why oh Why can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

3. Why oh Why do supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

8. Why oh Why do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

4. Why oh Why do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.

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6. Why oh Why do we leave cars worth

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5. Why oh Why do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.

9. Why oh Why do we use the word ‘politics’ to describe the process so well: ‘Poli’ in Latin meaning ‘many’ and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’.

10.Why oh Why do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering?

MENTAL HEALTH SPECIALIST Dr Marta Pol Ramon

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British training in Psychiatry Full GMC Registration

uPVC WINDOWS & DOORS

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Holistic approach to Mental Health Care

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Are you experiencing any of the following?

- Poor concentration and attention - Low mood, negative thinking - Persistent and unwanted obsessive thinking - Feelings or thoughts of guilt and unworthiness - Low motivation, low self esteem - Sense of Isolation - Mood swings - Inability to take control of your life - Relationship Problems - Persistent unexplained aches and pains

If so, feel free to contact me for a consultation on

616 946 834 76

Specialising in uPVC Windows & Doors Handmade Oak Doors & Windows, Carpentry & Joinery Repairs & Maintenance Fully installed & finished by time served tradesmen

645 418 754 635 238 223

Colonic Irrigation Longest Established Therapist on the Coast

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Do you suffer problems such as constipaton, IBS, skin disorders, fatigue, headaches.

Are you feeling bloated and unhappy with your body shape.

Are you struggling to loose excess weight?

Are you dreading the party season because those skinny dresses are tight across your tummy?

Enquire about our Detox Packages. Gift Vouchers available.

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Then colonic irrigation can help you.

Located at Forum Hair & Beauty Spa in La Cala.

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952 599 110

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info@hydocleansespain.com www.hydrocleansespain.com

Forum

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HAIR & BEAUTY SPA

GEL OR ACRYLIC NAILS Full Set - only 50 euros.

Infills - only 30 euros.

Shampoo & Blow Dry Spa Manicure & Spa Pedicure Only 50.00 euros.

Offers Excludes Wednesdays.

Genie Skin Tech Organic Microdermabrasion Now Available.

952 59 90 98 www.forumhairandbeauty.com Edificio Calasol, Local B 13.

La Cala de Mijas, Mijas Costa

Motoring News...

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Some of the new cars for 2010 Ferrari California

Mercedes SLS AMG Audi A5 Cabriolet

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Range Rover

Aston Martin Rapide

Specialists in timber decking, pergola’s and gazebo’s.

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Jaguar XJ

Increase your living space and improve your lifestyle.

ELECTRICIAN 16th Edition BS7671 Qualified Apprentice Trained 22 Years Experience

For more information or a free quotation please contact:

t Rewiring & Extra Sockets t Lighting t Water Pumps Supplied & Refurbished t Fault Finding etc...

email - electrician.in.spain@gmail.com

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CLM©2008

Call Ian - 650 15 15 69

Tel: 952 887 700 Mob: 679 975 683 Email: info@ecodeckspain.com

www.ecodeckspain.com

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UNBEATABLE OFFERS ON ALL INCLUSIVE

M O N T H LY PAY M E N T PA C K A G E S

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UNLIMITED INTERNATIONAL CALLS TO 18 COUNTRIES

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ADSL FREE FIXED IP FREE WIRELASS FAX TO EMAIL LINE RENTAL

3Mb, 8Mb & MOBILE PACKAGES AVAILABLE

3Mb

ADSL + Subscription + Free Wireless Router + Fixed IP + Fax to Email + Line Rental + Free Calls to UK, Spain, Germany, Belgium, France, Italy, Netherlands, Portugal, Denmark, Finland, Greece, Icland, Ireland, Sweden, Switzerland, Norway, USA and Canada.

64.90€ per month

For further information on all our services call: 951 775 307 or email: Xtratel@ya.com

Business Focus NO 1 CARS MARBELLA We provide a fast efficient service with very competitive rates. All makes of cars and motorbikes serviced Pick up and delivery arranged. Call 952 926 544

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MADHATTERS Open every day In Nueva Andalucia, English breakfast, weekday 2 course menu and drink, Sunday Roast including free bottle of wine with our advert on page 42. Tel 951 279 080

PHOTOGIFTSHOP Bring your photo to us and we can provide that perfect personalised unique gift, T-shirts, mugs, jigsaws, money boxes, stationary, mouse mats etc. Call 666 761 409

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OVEN STEAM CLEANING A healthy and environmentally friendly way to clean your oven without chemicals eliminating harmful bacteria and providing no risk to components – Call 635 739 201

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CACI Non Surgical Solutions – Look younger with pain or surgery, facelifting, slimming, contouring, scar tissue removal, reduce lines and wrinkles, ring Lucie on 952 810 487 or 670 526 561

IRONWORKS High quality gates, doors, rejas, windows, railings etc all at low prices. The most respected British Steelwork Company in Spain. Ironworkinspain@yahoo.co.uk or call 678 691 393

Blue seas

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Property management Costa del Sol

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www.blueseaspropertymanagement.com Apartments, house and villa cleaning Have you a holiday home or holiday rental apartment?

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CLEANS FROM AS LITTLE AS 25€ .

LINEN LAUNDERED FROM 12€ PER APARTMENT. One off cleans through to a full builders clean - we do them all.

NEVER KNOWINGLY BEATEN ON PRICE.

Contact info@blueseaspropertymanagement.com

Telephone - 616 140 393 80

TOH E PERA

S O A P

LAUNDRY

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We cater for all your laundry needs including Carpets Curtains Edif. El Saladito 2 General Laundry BC 3. Urb, Riviera del Sol Mijas Costa. 29649 Quilts 607 787 075 Ironing Service E-mail. soapoperalaundry@hotmail.com

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Take Away

952 930 717 Tuesday To Sunday 10am to 10pm

Please Order 1 Hour Before For Our Best Service

Find Us Behind OPEN COR Riviera Edif. El Saladito 2, BC 3, Urb.Riviera del Sol, 29649 Mijas Costa

Accident Repor ts...

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telephone pole”. ►“I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him”. ►“The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him”. ►“The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle”. ►“I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket”. ►“I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way”. ►“I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull”. ►“Windscreen broken. Cause unknown.

Probably Voodoo”.

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►“I knocked over a man; he admitted it was his fault for he had been knocked down before”. ►“I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment”. ►“A pedestrian hit me and went under my car”. ►“An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished”. ►“I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought”. ►“I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight”. ►“The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week”. ►“I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident”. ►“In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a

Man and Van Clearance

AZ IN E

Removals Storage Deliveries Collections House

HOUSE CLEARANCE SPECIALISTS

Removals, Collections, Deliveries and Storage all undertaken.

Large 16 Cubic Metre Van, Excellent Rates

We want to buy all Furniture, Electrical items, Books, Tools, etc.

International Removals Also Available

Any Amount Large or Small CASH PAID.

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FA S T & P R O F E S S I O N A L S E R V I C E

Call. 679 233 462 or E-mail. rosieandkev@spansurf.com

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A ‘swim bebe swim’ franchise owned and operated under License by Nathalie Martinez.

SATELLITE INSTALLATIONS

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SATELLITE, COMMUNITY, SURROUND SYSTEMS ETC. INSTALLED AND MAINTAINED T.V, VIDEO AND ELECTRONIC REPAIRS IN HOUSE. MOBILE PHONE SALES, SIMMS, TOP-UPS AND CALLING CARDS. WIRELESS INTERNET AND HOTSPOT

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www.reeceelectronics.tv

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CLM©2008

LOCAL 10, DOÑA LOLA, OPP. EL ZOCO (CALAHONDA) TEL: 952 93 91 98 MOB: 607 383 578 EMAIL: reeceelectronics@yahoo.com

SKY DIGIBOX REPAIRS DON’T JUST BUY A NEW DIGIBOX

LET US TRY AND REPAIR IT FIRST REPAIRS TO ALL DIGIBOXES - SKY, SKY+ AND SKY HD. ALSO HARD DRIVE UPGRADES. DOUBLE YOUR SKY+ MEMORY www.reeceelectronics.tv

LOCAL 10, DOÑA LOLA, OPP. EL ZOCO (CALAHONDA) TEL: 952 93 91 98 MOB: 607 383 578 EMAIL: reeceelectronics@yahoo.com

GREAT VALUE ADVERTISING 1/8 page advert only €20 A MONTH for a limited period

PLUMBER FREE CALL OUT FUENGIROLA, CALAHONDA, MARBELLA, GUADALMINA, BENAHAVIS. 40 YEARS EXPERIENCE

CALL KEN: 952 455 279 or 654 632 329

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CO S CAROUSEL

Find the hidden words in the search below -- you can go up, down, backwards, and diagonal. Have fun!

CANDY

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Transform At Miraflores Massage & Beauty Centre Calle Esmeralda, Riviera, Mijas Costa

Transform your Smile Today

99â‚Ź

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Special Offer

Get noticed, get the Bright, White Smile YOU deserve in around 35 minutes. Transform your smile TODAY.

Other Transform Treatments Available: Permanent Hair Removal using IPL from as little as 20â‚Ź.

Skin Rejuvenation - Sun Spots, Anti Ageing, Vein Removal etc.

Non-Surgical Liposuction - The shape you want without surgery 1 hour inch loss Infa Red System Non-Surgical Breast Enlargement & Enhancement

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Contact us TODAY for a free consulatation

605 865 755

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www.transformall.com

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T he Jokes page

page

Two snakes are talking.

One of them turns to the other and asks, "Are we venomous?"

The other replies, "Yes,why?..."

The first one says "I just bit my lip."

The 2nd man walks in for his interview. The interviewer asks, "What’s the first thing you notice about me?" The man responds, "You don't have any ears.” The interviewer shouts “Get out! Send in the next man."

A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?"

The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made."

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mum, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"

The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."

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A man walks in for his job interview. The interviewer asks, "What’s the first thing you notice about me?" The man responds, "You don't have any ears.” The interviewer shouts “Get out! Send in the next man."

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The 3rd man walks in for his interview. The interviewer asks, "Whats the first thing you notice about me?" The man looks at the interviewer for a few seconds and responds, "You wear contact lenses." The interviewer says, "That's impressive that you're so observant. How could you tell I wear contact lenses? "The man replies "Because you don't have any ears to hang glasses on."

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This man on the way out says to the 3rd man "What ever you do, don't say anything about his not having any ears - He'll kick you right out."

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Why don't aliens eat clowns.

Because they taste funny.

CO S

What is difference between man and Superman?

Man wears his underwear under his trousers and superman wears it over his trousers

A lady went to see psychic to predict her future, the psychic said “I'm sorry to inform you that your husband will die in the near future.”

The lady replied “Don't tell me things that I already know, tell me if there would be an investigation!!”

Two peanuts leave a bar.

One was a salted.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn't matter... it won't come to you anyway!

Why don't prawns give to charity?

Because they're shellfish

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FREE Health Check

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S TA R S I GN S

A look at what's in store for you during January...

You're too blunt to enjoy participating in any kind of intrigue.

Make some adjustments in your thinking now, though, especially if it's for the sake of a loved one. If you have to, put some distance between you and any parties concerned until after the 15th.

Virgo

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Pisces

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Several planets will influence your career this month, together, they'll make it possible for your monetary dreams to come true, so if offers come in when the Solar Eclipse of January 15 arrives, don't push them aside - even if it means changes at work.

Libra

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Aries

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If anybody loves being on their home turf, it's you, but this month, you'll be bitten by the travel bug. If you're attached, you'll be taking off with your sweetheart, who'll be delighted. Don't make any definite plans, until after Mercury turns direct on the 15th.

Taurus

Gemini

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The Solar Eclipse of the 15th will light a fire in your house of intimacy, making you inseparable from your love interest - much to their delight! He or she has been dying for some quality time with you.

Spend it together - alone!

The Powers That Be are watching, and there may be a raise or bonus, or maybe even a well-deserved promotion en route. On the 17th, Jupiter will enter your house of intimacy, wearing romantic Pisces.

It just doesn't get any better than this!

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Your friends will play a special role in your life now so if you need them, call and they'll be there. One may even introduce you to the love of your life - Your mission is to accept the introduction - no matter what happened in the past!

Leo

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Aquarius

Cancer

Your house of one-on-one relationships will be busy in January, If you're single, the Solar Eclipse of the 15th could mean you'll get together with someone from another area. If you're attached, you will find it easy to talk about an issue you've been avoiding.

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January always finds you working hard, but this month will be the topper! . Mercury will be retrograde until the 15th, making it difficult for even the best-made plans Capricorn to work out. Until then, rely on another of your qualities: patience.

Scorpio

You'll be thinking some very serious thoughts, but don't make any plans or promises wait until the 17th, when mighty Jupiter will enter romantic Pisces and your house of one-to-one relationships to pop any romantic questions!

You will be extremely busy for the first half of the month. Do your duty to your loved ones, especially elders, you couldn't live with yourself if you didn't help them out. On the 17th, however, Jupiter will enter Pisces, be ready for romance - and lots of it!

If you're not attached, prepare for quite the parade of admirers, starting on the 17th. In the meantime, you may have to deal with a few little aggravations, but all that will be a distant memory once new and interesting friends enter your life.

It's been a while since you've really concentrated on saving money, but that should definitely be your New Year's resolution. Don't bother starting this new financial regime Sagittarius until after the 15th, make a budget - and stick to it!

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CAR STICKER WINNER

Puzzel It Out Solutions Solutions From Page 62

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Just Say What You See See eye to eye Read between the lines Picture Puzzles Snake Eyes

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Mathematical Teaser 100 = 177-77 = (7+7)x(7+(1:7))

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Crossword Solution

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