Costa Link Magazine January 2012

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Happy New Year!

Wow 2012 already – doesn’t the time fly by, I am sure it’s only six months since last January! Did you enjoy all the celebrations over the Christmas break? I hope Father Christmas brought you everything that you asked him for. If you feel now it’s time for a detox we have some good tips on page 20. 2012 promises to be another interesting year – it’s a leap year, that will bring us the Olympics in London making London the first city to host the games three times, the opening ceremony will have to good to live up to the last one in Beijing! The diamond jubilee for Queen Elizabeth II, she is already the second longest reigning monarch of England and will be catching Queen Victoria in about four years. Then of course there are all the predictions about the world ending on the 21st December – I am not so sure about this, I am sure I remember similar predictions in 2000 but we are still here, maybe start the Christmas shopping on the 22nd this year?!

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A W o m a n’ s W o r l d 13 Canaries....

Three young women are at a cocktail party. The conversation turns to their position in life and it's clear that they are trying to one-up each other. The first one says, "My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for two weeks on holiday," and then looks at the others with a superior demeanor. The second one says, "Well, my husband just bought me a new Mercedes," and looks about with considerable pride. Number three says, "Well, to be perfectly honest with you, we don't have much money and we don't have any material possessions. However, one thing I can tell you about my husband is that thirteen canaries can stand shoulder to shoulder on his erect man bits." After this, the first one looks shamefaced and says, "Girls, I've got a confession to make. I was just trying to impress you. You know that holiday I was telling you about? Well, it's not to the French Riviera, it's to my parents house for two weeks." The second one says, "Your honesty has shamed me too. It's not a Mercedes, he bought me a Skoda." The third one says, "Well, I also have a confession to make, canary number thirteen has to stand on one leg!"

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Hot Goss !

??? s i r a P Victoria and David Beckham set to move back to the UK or Paris? There have been whispers and rumours for a while UK or now that David Beckham and Victoria Beckham are looking to

leave Los Angeles and move back to England. In the strongest indication yet that they could be coming home (or close to home), the couple have been looking at schools in both the UK and in Paris, which follows speculation that David could sign with a Parisian on British football team,“David is on the brink of committing to either Paris Saint-Germain or a UK club,” a friend has told The Mail. “He’ll make the announcement just after the New Year. “They are preparing to be back in Britain and have been looking at schools for the boys. David is keen on one particular school because it’s in the area where he grew up and when he was a child he always wished he could have gone there.” Fashion and football: Sources are also saying that VB will use the move to back to Europe as chance to build on her already hugely successful fashion empire, but she’s told David that she’s not willing to totally give up on the family’s life in LA forever,“She is using the opportunity to work on her fashion profile in Europe and the boys will be educated privately. They are all very excited. “Victoria’s one condition is that the family will return to LA at some point in the future, but she won’t give up the place in LA. The advantage of being over here is they can spend more time with their families. But they love LA so it’s likely they will be back there soon”.

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Hot Goss ! Kerry Katona to become a wedding planner! The twice-married singer and reality TV star is set to appear as wedding planner on a new channel 5 four-part series. Celebrity Wedding Planner, which airs on January 6th, sees Kerry plan couples’ special days including choosing the perfect venue and planning the wedding cake. Kerry, 31, was once married to Westlife singer Brian McFadden and recently divorced second husband Mark Croft. She is now seeing artist Steve Alce and told Closer: “I’m an old-fashioned girl deep down – I’d love to get married again and have two more children.” Kerry, who has recently cleared her long running debts that forced her to declare bankruptcy after appearing on this years Celebrity Big Brother, is now turning her hand to other areas of television. Has Cheryl Cole bagged herself a new man? The gorgeous Cheryl Cole has reportedly bagged herself a new man - her 21 year old music producer Patrizio Pigliapoco! The 28 year old stunner is trying to launch her singing career in America after being sensationally axed by pal Simon Cowell from the American X Factor earlier this year. Cheryl and Patrizio have spent many late nights together working on her third solo album and sources say they are “inseparable” from each other. The Newcastle lass has been linked to dancer Derek Hough and Will.I.Am after her break-up and divorce from cheating footballer Ashley Cole, but this time friends are saying that she’s “smitten” and "loves his carefree attitude". Patrizio revealed to the Sun what he first thought about the Newcastle lass: “When I met her I thought, 'Oh my God, she's gorgeous!' I think she's great. She's got swag, that's the word here. I thought her ex-husband was crazy to cheat on a beautiful woman like her.” Maybe this time she might have found the one!

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Council Complaints... The following are real extracts from actual complaint letters sent to various councils and housing associations throughout the UK. • I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off. • I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage, and their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence. • I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off. • My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand. • I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall. • Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant. We are getting married in September and we would like it in the garden before we move into the house. • I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen. • 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the rest are plain filthy. • I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers. • The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared. • Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink. • Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces. Continued on page 28.....

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1) Complete the following list of colours of the rainbow: Red, Orange, Yellow, Green…..? 2) What is the International radio code word for the letter R? 3) What is the correct name for the Union Jack? 4) What is the currency of Japan? 5) In Children’s literature, in which books would you find Eeyore and Kanga? 6) How many people have walked on the moon 6, 12 or 18? 7) What is the tallest existing mammal? 8) Who said, ‘That business with Hitler didn’t bother me, I didn’t go there to shake hands with him anyway’? 9) Which famous TV star was made from a green coat that belonged to Jim Henson’s mother? 10) What kind of love did Phil Collins have at the top of the singles chart in 1988? 11) Saddam Hussein was the leader of which political party? 12) What London landmark has an 11-foot long hand? 13) What is the name of the scientist who produces James Bond’s gadgets? 14) Which fictional school specialises in Witchcraft and Wizardry? 15) What is the first animal listed in the Oxford English Dictionary?

16) Who allegedly fired a shot from the Texas Book Depository Building on 22 November 1963? 17) What 2 colours is Rupert the Bear’s scarf? 18) Who was the first woman to read the ‘Nine O’clock News’ on BBC TV? 19) Who coined the phrase Big Brother is watching you? 20) In London, where would you find the statue commonly known as Eros? 21) For which film did Bryan Adams write the song ‘(Everything I do) I do it for you’? 22) Which came first, colour or sound movies? 23) Which Beatle was deported from Germany in 1960 because he was too young to work there? 24) Where are the 2012 Olympic’s due to be held? 25) Who was the first DJ to be heard on Radio 1? 26) What is the fifth planet of our solar system? 27) Which poet composed Paradise Lost? 28) What was the name of the ship in which the Pilgrim fathers set sail in 1620? 29) How many letters of the alphabet are used as Roman Numerals? 30) In children’s books written by the Duchess of York, who or what is Budgie? Bonus: What is the average depth of the sea (in metres)? Answers on page 86

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Two Irishmen.... walk into a pet shop in Dingle. They head to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, "Dat's dem." The owner comes over and asks if he can help them. "Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere," says Gerry. The owner puts the budgies in a paper bag. Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's truck to drive to the top of the Connor Pass. At the Connor Pass, Gerry looks down at the 1000-foot drop and says, "Dis looks like a grand place." He takes t wo birds out of the bag, puts them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff. Paddy watches as Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead. Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and says, " Dis budgie jumping is too dangerous for me!" Moment's later, Seamus arrives up at Connor Pass. He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another paper bag in one hand and a shotgun in the other. "Hi, Paddy. Watch dis," Seamus says. He takes a parrot from the bag and throws himself over the edge of the cliff. Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot. Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body. Paddy shakes his head and says, "And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either!" IT IS NOT OVER YET Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing t wo friends when Sean appears. He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a paper bag out of which he pulls a chicken. Sean then hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine. Once more Paddy shakes his head. " Lads. First dere was Gerry with his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotshooting...and now Sean and his hen-gliding!"

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diva’s detox after christmas advice..... DRINK LOTS OF FLUIDS In order to help your body eliminate some of the waste that it has recently taken in during the Christmas holiday, the best thing that you can drink is water. There are other fluids that you may want to drink if you are on a post-Christmas detox diet, however, Certain teas, such as green tea, are known to work as wonderful antioxidants. Certain fruit juices are also really good antioxidants, such as pomegranate juice or cranberry juice. Just be sure that you check nutrition labels before consuming too much juice, as many are high in sugar or sodium. Drinking lots of fluids is known to be an essential key to a detox diet and can help you feel better about your body after the Christmas holiday is over. FIBRE is very important at any time, but it is especially important after you have indulged during the Christmas holiday. It will help your body readjust itself to your normal routine. The best thing that you can do in order to consume the proper amount of fibre is eat lots of fruits and vegetables. Making smarter high-fibre choices is a great step to not only your detox diet, but also your overall health. EXERCISE A detox diet can only do so much for you. The most important thing that you can do is continue with your regular exercise routine after Christmas. If you don't already have one, then maybe it is time for you to adopt one. This is just one of the many ways that you can get one step closer to obtaining your New Years resolution! DE-STRESS After a hectic Christmas de-stressing is as important for the mind and body as detoxifying is. Partying hard and over-indulging can take its toll on the mind as well as the body. A great way of de-stressing is by massage. The benefits body massage by pressing and kneading the different areas of the body helps to relieve pain, stimulate, tone, and relax the body, working deeply into the tired muscles, allowing the body to release toxins that were trapped on the systems. Numerous reports have noted that although the massage soothes the skin and affect the muscles just under the skin; its benefits may even reach the deeper layers of the muscles. Chances are, the organs of the body themselves will also be affected, significantly. More to that, a full body massage stimulates blood circulation. Experts have further revealed that this therapeutic practice may aid the lymphatic system of the body, which actually runs parallel to the circulatory system therefore releasing any unwanted toxins making the body healthy whilst ultimately relaxing you, whilst you drift away in the hands of our fully trained masseuse. See our fantastic offers below x

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Dear Teacher…..

Such letters suggest that maybe the parents were excused from school too many times in their own youth.

• “My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.” • “Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot.” • “Dear School, Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.” •“Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.” • “Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.” • “John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.” • “Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.” • “Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.” • “Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.” • “Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.” • “Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.” • "Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral." • "My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines." • "Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well." • "Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps." • "Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover." • "Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor." • "Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever, and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night."

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Hormone Hostage.....

A Man’s World

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other...

DANGEROUS: What’s for dinner? SAFER: Can I help you with dinner? SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner? ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate. DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about? SAFER: Could we be overreacting? SAFEST: Here’s €50 for new shoes. ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some more chocolate. DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that? SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left. SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that? ULTRA SAFE: More chocolate darling? DANGEROUS: What did you do all day? SAFER: I hope you didn’t overdo it today. SAFEST: I’ve always loved you in that dressing gown! ULTRA SAFE: Would you like me to pop to the shops to get you some more chocolate my love, I can see you’ve been rushed off your feet all day? Study them, memorise them, because one day they could save your life!

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Council Complaints Con’t...

• Would you please send a man to repair my spout. I am an old age pensioner and need it badly. • I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up, and its now getting too much for me. • The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous. • Our kitchen floor is damp. We have t wo children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it. • I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night. • Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife. • I have had the clerk of the works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction. • This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken and we can’ t get BBC2. • My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it. • ‌and he’ s got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore. • ... that is his excuse for dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.

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Tel: 606 70 23 89

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CLarifying your pets travel..... Clarifying the requirements if you are entering the UK from the EU from January 1st 2012 with your dog, cat & ferret.

Preparing your dog, cat or ferret: Step 1: Have your pet microchipped – Before any of the other procedures for

pet travel are carried out, your pet must be fitted with a microchip so it can be properly identified.

Step 2: Have your pet vaccinated– After the microchip has been fitted your pet must be vacci-

nated against rabies. There is no exemption to this requirement, even if your pet has a current rabies vaccination. Rabies boosters must be kept up to date. The length of the waiting period before entry to the UK is 21 days after the first vaccination date. A waiting period is not required for subsequent entries into the UK, provided rabies boosters are kept up to date. If the vaccination is in two parts the 21 day wait will be from the date of the second vaccination.

Step 3: Get pet travel documentation – For animals being prepared in an EU country, you

should get an EU pet passport. If you are preparing your animal in a non-EU listed country or territory you will need to obtain an official third country veterinary certificate although note that Croatia, Gibraltar, Norway, San Marino and Switzerland are also issuing passports.

Step 4: Tapeworm treatment – (dogs only): before entering the UK, all pet dogs (including

assistance dogs) must be treated for tapeworm. The treatment must be administered by a vet not less than 24 hours and not more than 120 hours (1-5 days) before its scheduled arrival time in the UK. The tapeworm treatment must contain the active ingredient praziquantel. There is no mandatory requirement for tick treatment anymore. We hope all the above helps - happy pet travels from www.poshpetsspain.com

Posh P osshh P Pets ets Sp Spain S pain Petet T P Transportation Transporta ransportation ransporta tion

Pet P et Relocation specialists to & from the UK, France Chauffeur driven, F rance & Spain. Chauff eur driv en, accompanied pets by land. Customised vvehicles ehicles ffor or your pets comfort safety. comf ort & saf ety. For quotation contact F or a quot ation please cont act us: 0034 952 597 035 www.poshpetsspain.com www .poshpetsspain.com 30

January 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 12/19/11 11:03 AM Page 31

Dog Teeth Cleaning Brush, plaque removal & polish

January 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 12/19/11 11:03 AM Page 32

Respite Care do you need a break? P ea

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Family business with over 30 years experience 2YHU \HDUV H[SHULHQFH DV RZQHUV PDQDJHUV RI D KDSS\ FDUH KRPH LQ (QJODQG

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RU A Nurse led service providing an innovative and holistic approach to healthcare that brings the values and practices of a British Health Centre to the Costa del Sol, enabling you to access a service that is familiar. •Well Womens Clinic (Cervical Smears, breast examinations) •Full Health Assessments •Dyslexia Assessments •Complimentary Therapists •Counseling service •Hypertension management

•Community Mental Health team Mens Health Clinic (Includes PSA, Testicular examination) •Care Coordination Centre •Asthma Clinic •Diabetes Management •Vaccination Clinics

Tel: 952 83 57 76 www.clinicamedicare.com Located in La Cala de Mijas just around the corner from the BP petrol station. Ample parking. 32

January 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 12/19/11 11:03 AM Page 33

Specialising in natural health products & alternative therapies.

630 215 435 Organic Food <(An^kmZ Gn^oZ GĂŹ/ >lm^ihgZ +2/1) (Nr Carrefour Express)

Natural Cosmetics Bach Flowers Health Supplements Teas and Infusions and much more...

Patio doors secured, Safes opened and fitted, Locks upgraded, Changed key holding. Fully registered. Credit cards now taken. Call Bob and Debbie on:

952 660 233 - 667 668 685

January 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 12/19/11 11:04 AM Page 34

Medical Tips

Foot Pain? Why Suffer? Foot pain causes you to walk badly, putting undue strain on the knees, hips, spine and even the neck and this can then lead to problems in those areas. Pain indicates a problem, and should be properly attended to as soon as possible. Soft and hard corns, calluses, heel cracks, in-growing toe nails, heel spurs, metatarsalgia, etc, are all painful conditions which only get worse if left unattended and can usually be resolved quickly and painlessly, so why suffer? I see diabetics and the elderly every day and so many of them have serious problems which, with a little care, could have been prevented. Diabetics can develop corns and calluses quicker and these can lead to infections and ultimately ulcers. Ulcers are very serious for anybody, but diabetics are especially at risk because they can suffer from peripheral neuropathy or nerve damage, which reduces the sensitivity of the feet, and blood supply reduction or bad circulation. This can then lead to ulcers which are very difficult to heal and require long-term specialist treatment. Cuts, blisters, scratches or any break in the skin do not heal as quickly so must be prevented by wearing good shoes with a wide toe box and good shock absorption. Daily examination of the feet is essential and if a problem is found consult a chiropodist immediately. Bare feet should also be avoided to prevent unnecessary damage. Much of this applies to the elderly as well. I also regularly see people with foot infections caused by ‘bathroom surgery’ or self-treatment of corns, calluses and nail problems, or just plain neglect. Don’t wait until you cannot walk anymore before visiting your chiropodist who can sort out the problem without the drama. Keeping your feet in good condition is very important for your general health because if your ability to walk is affected so is the rest of your health. Your feet are a reflexion of what is going on in your body, so treat them with the respect and care they deserve for all the hard work they do on your behalf every day and they will continue to do their part in keeping you active and well. Brenda Holmani is a Preferred Partner of “medilink” a Chiropodist and Reflexologist. For more information on Brenda or any of our other Preferred partners please call “medilink” on 952 93 38 76

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Are you fed up with trying to locate good, reliable and accurate information, unsure who to turn to when it comes to health and health related issues here on the Costa del Sol...

…solving the puzzle of healthcar e in healthcare Spain! Tel: T el: (0034) 952 93 38 76 Email: medilinkspain@gmail.com only you'll ever medilink the onl y tel no y ou'll e ver need

SANITAS HEALTH PLAN Whether you require a worldwide policy, or healthcare for Spain only, Sanitas have the solution

The Xanit is now covered by Sanitas The Hospiten Estepona is now covered by Sanitas Health Plans to Suit all Budgets

Contact your English Agent, Susan Warner T: 951 272 124 M: 615 655 348 www.healthinsurance-spain.com info@healthinsurance-spain.com

January 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 12/19/11 11:04 AM Page 36

THE SEVEN DWARFS..... The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they are the seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope. Grumpy leads the pack. “Grumpy, my son,” says the Pope, “What can I do for you?” Grumpy asks, “Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?” The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, “No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome.” In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling. Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing them. Grumpy turns back, “Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?” The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, “No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe.” This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter. Once again, Grumpy turns around and silences them with an angry glare. Grumpy turns back and says, “Mr. Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?” The Pope, really confused by the questions says, “I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.” The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin chanting...”Grumpy s*****d a penguin!”

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Bad Advice..... Why Men Shouldn't Write Advice Columns

Dear John, I hope you can help me. the other day, I set off for work, leaving my husband watching TV. My car broke about a mile down the way. I had to walk back to my house to get the help of my husband. when I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. My husband was having sex with our neighbour's daughter! I am 32, my husband is 34 and the neighbors daughter is 19. We have been married for 10 years. When I confronted him, he broke down and told me that they had been having an affair for 6 months. He won't go to counseling and I am a wreck and need advice immediately. Can you help me? Sincerely, Sheila.

Dear Sheila, A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the hoses and vacuum pipes on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, then the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the engine. I hope this helps, John.

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ocal Info ---

Emergency Numbers

Central number for Fire, Police & Ambulance National Police Local Police Guardia Civil dica

112 091 092 062

Medical

Emergency 061 Ambulance Marbella 902 505 061 Ambulance Coin 952 453 267

Health Centres

Town Halls Marbella 952 761 100 San Pedro 952 453 020 La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208 Fuengirola 952 589 300 Estepona 952 801 100

Fire Brigade Emergency number 080 Marbella 952 774 349 Estepona 952 804 483 Fuengirola 952 461 046

Markets

Consulates 952 952 952 952 952 952 952

352 475 226 604 212 226 474

300 108 373 383 442 590 891

Tourist Information Marbella Coin Estepona Fuengirola San Pedro

86 40

Bus Stations Marbella 952 764 400 Coin 952 450 366 San Pedro 952 781 396 Estepona 952 800249 For a list of complete times www.andalucia.com/travel/bus Train Timetables 902 240 202 Airports Malaga 952 048 844 Gibraltar 956 773 026

Marbella 952 769 946 Coin 952 452 767 San Pedro 952 787 700

British Ireland Denmark Sweden Germany France U.S.A

Transport

952 771 442 952 822 818 952 822 818 952 467 457 952 785 252

Monday - Marbella (fairground site on east side) Tuesday - Fuengirola (fairground near Los Boliches) Wednesday - Estepona (Avda. Juan Carlos) La Cala - Feria ground Thursday - San Pedro (Recinto Ferial) Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama) Friday - Alhaurin el Grande (Bar Aquamania) Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano Pineda) La Cala - Feria ground. Sunday - Puerto Estepona

(Marina)

Cinemas

All the Cinemas listed below show films in English as well as Spanish. Call first to check what is showing that week. Marbella: Cinesur Plaza del Mar 952 766 941 La Ca単ada 902 333 231 Puerto Banus: Gran Marbella 952 810 077 Coin: La Trocha 951 315 039 Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221 622

Chemists 24 hour chemist Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz Km 194. Marbella. Tel: 952 83 25 89

Taxis Marbella Taxis 952 774 488 Mijas Costa Taxis 952 476 593

Diary Dates 1st January 2011 - New Years Day / Public Holiday 2nd January 2011 - Public Holiday 5th January 2011 - Is the eve of the Three Kings Day, Dia de Reyes. There are parades throughout Andalucia. 6th January 2011 - Three Kings Day / Public Holiday 17th January 2011 - Local holiday in Alhaurin el Grande and Malaga. 25th January 2011 - Burns night.

if you would like to sponsor this page please call 663 061 669

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A New Monk... A new monk arrived at the monastery. He was assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He noticed, however, that they were copying from copies, not the original books. The new monk went to the head monk to ask him about this. He pointed out that if there were an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the other copies. The head monk said, “We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.” The head monk takes a copy and goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held in a locked vault that hasn’t been opened for hundreds of years to check the original. Hours go by and nobody has seen the old abbot, so the young monk gets worried and goes downstairs to look for him. He heard a sobbing coming from the back of the cellar and found the old monk leaning over one of the original books, crying and banging his head against the desk. “Whatever is wrong?” asks the young monk. “We missed the ‘R’!, we missed the ‘R’!” replied the abott in a choking voice “The word is ‘celebrate,’ not ‘celibate’!!”

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January 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 12/19/11 11:05 AM Page 45

January 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 12/19/11 11:05 AM Page 46

What’s On

Saturday 7th January: Costa All Stars Cheerleader classes will start in Coin at Aqua Gym in La Trocha. First class free. 10-16 years 10.30am-12pm; 6-9 years 11.30-1pm and 3.5 years 1-145pm. Call Vanessa on 677 493 280 to reserve a place and info. Sunday 8th, Monday 9th and Sunday 15th of January: The Cervantes Theatre in Malaga will show the Russian National Ballet’s performance of Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake. Tickets start at €22. Visit www.teatrocervantes.com/es/genero/danza/ciclo/82/espectaculo/1090 for ticket info. Sunday 22nd January: The Cervantes Theatre will also show several Children’s theatre shows during January including Sherlock Holmes, Tickets are just €6 and shows are at 11am and 1pm. Every Tuesday: Mum & Baby Pilates class at 11am at the San Roque International Nursery, Sotogrande with stimulating toys, ball pool and much more. www.pilatesparati.es Every Wednesday: Curry Night & Karaoke at Ray’s Bar, With Allstars - Mark James, Dona Lola. Every Thursday: Pilates Stroller workout class on the Torreguadiaro Beachfront at 11am. This is a post natal workout for Mums along with their little ones in their stroller, walking exercises and Pilates pitstops. www.pilatesparati.es Every Thursday: Steak Night at Ray’s Bar, With live Music, Dona Lola, Beach Side Calahonda, opposite El Zoco Tel 634 840 364 Every Friday: Fish and Chips Night at Ray’s Bar, Dona Lola, Beach Side Calahonda, opposite El Zoco Tel 634 840 364 Every Saturday and/or Sunday: The Wildside Forest School for Kids starts this month and runs every weekend in Coin. Two hours classes for children in nature. Tree rubbings, building a camp, safety, insects etc. See www.wildsidesurvivaleurope.com for info. Every Sunday: Traditional Sunday lunch at Santiago del Calvario, Alhaurin, Roast beef, Lamb Pork, or chicken with fish and Vegetarian options available. Every Sunday: Traditional Sunday lunch at El Parasio Bar and Restaurant. Tel 952 883 799 Every Sunday: Karaoke at Ray’s Bar, With Allstars - Mark James, Dona Lola, Beach Side Calahonda, opposite El Zoco Tel 634 840 364 Every Sunday: Barbeque night at Riviera Grand Palms Cyber Cafe, from 6pm, Families welcome, loads of home cooked food from 7€, Calle Sirocco 370 Phase 7 Urb. Riveria del Sol, follow the signs from the lady in the bath, booking advised Tel 952 932 112. Every Last Sunday of the Month: The Picasso Museum has free admission on this day so a great day to visit the 3,500 plus pieces of art. Open from 10am until 8pm in the weekend and 9pm weekends. Guided tours in English on Wednesdays at 11.30am. Tel: 952 602 731

Guide

If you would like to list your events, days out or any else you have going on please contact us on: 663 061 669 or email editor@costalinkmagazine.com

Sponsored by SPAIN

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January 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 12/19/11 11:05 AM Page 47

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January 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 12/19/11 11:05 AM Page 48

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ABOUT SPORTS MASSAGE

Health & Well Being

Sports massage is the management, manipulation and rehabilitation of soft tissues of the body including muscles, tendons and ligaments. The techniques used by sports massage practitioners have been developed to ensure effective and efficient results are gained from each massage given.

Sports massage may: • Improve circulation and lymphatic flow • Assist in the removal of metabolic waste • Sedate or stimulate nerve endings • Increase or decrease muscle tone • Increase or decrease muscle length • Remodel scar tissue when required • Assist in mental preparation for sporting participation You do not need to be a sports performer to benefit from a sports massage. The benefits above can also help relieve the many day to day problems, repetitive strain injury, sprains, tension, fatigue, that everyone experiences. Many sports massage practitioners work with a great range of clients in assisting with preventive treatment and injury recovery. If you are a sports performer, of any level, a sports specific massage can be beneficial at various stages of participation. For example: The conditioning / training phase, Pre competition, Inter competition, Post competition, Post trave, Injury prevention & Injury recovery. Regardless of your experiences in sport or exercise, whether you exercise socially or compete to an international level - sports massage may have something to offer you.

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BAR & RESTAURANT

Guide.....

Winter Pimms Punch Easy prep time 10 mins

Ingredients & Method 500ml Pimm's 500ml brandy 1½ l apple juice 2 cinnamon sticks Apple, sliced Orange, sliced & Ice Combine the Pimm's and brandy with the apple juice in a jug filled with ice, cinnamon sticks and a sliced apple and orange. Serve warm Gently heat all the ingredients except the ice and fruit. Nutritional Information Per Serving 266 kcalories, protein 0g, carbohydrate 17g, fat 0 g, saturated fat 0g, fibre 0g, sugar 17g, salt 0,01 g 52

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HONG KONG

CHINESE RESTAURANT

La Mirage Mirage Restaurant Rest estaur aurant aur ant & Spikes Bar

Lunch or Dine in style in our fabulous Restaurant overlooking the Golf Course excellent choice of menus and wines. Open every day of the year. Live entertainment on Friday / Saturday evenings or

SPECIAL LUNCHTIME MENU 12PM - 4PM STARTERS ONLY â‚Ź6.90

Spring Roll, Special Salad, Chicken and Sweetcorn/Tomato/Hot and Sour Soup or Spare Ribs.

MAIN COURSE

Beef with Blackbean/Oyster/Chinese Mushroom and Bamboo/Curry or Chicken with Cashew Nuts/Sweet and Sour/Curry or Prawns with Vegetables or Sweet and Sour Fish (Hake)

RICE AND NOODLES

Relax on the sunny terrace of Spikes Bar. Breakfasts, snacks & daily specials available from 08:00 till late every day (from 09:00 on Sunday)

Special House Fried Rice, Boiled Rice or Noodles with Soya Bean Sprouts or Chips

Miraflores Miraflor Mir aflores aflor es Golf Golf Club Cl Cluub

Coffee, Tea, Ice Cream, Cream Caramel or Fruit Main restaurant serving usual delicacies 6pm - 12pm

Urbanizacion Riviera Del Sol, Mijas Costa, 29647 Malaga

Tel Tel (+34) 952 931 941 Email: reservations@mirafloresgolfrestaurant.com W Website: ebsite: www www.miraflores-golf.com .miraflores-golf.com

DESSERTS

Jardin Botanico, Local 16, La Cala de Mijas.

Tel: 952 599 236. Mob: 685 578 743

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r a B s ’ y Ra ve iGames 5 lGame sTV’s shown on fflat lat screen screen TV’s

Dona Lola Costa Mijas Cos ta Beachh Side Calahonda Beac

www.raysbar.co.uk 840 TTel: el: 634 8 40 364 364

Open Op en 7 days days a week week from from 10am 10am to to Late Late

www.facebook.com/rays.bar

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from 9pm

STEAK S TEAK N NIGHT IGHT Thurrssday

Wednesday W ednesday

Curry Night

for all the latest info

2 sirlion sirlion meals meals & b ottle o ine 119.95€ 9.95€ bottle off w wine

Friday

ip h C & Fish Night

Mama Nostra

Golden Sun

Traditional Italian food & grill. Fresh pasta, wood burning pizza oven, Open every day 12 - 11. Riviera Commercial, Tel: 952 934 496

Traditional Chinese Food. Takeaway menu. Special lunch menu only €6.95. Open 12.00-16.00 and 18.30-24.00 everyday. Riviera Commercial. Tel: 952 931 737

Advertise Your Bar or Restaurant HERE Call: 663 061 669

Harrys Sports Bar

All live sports and premiere league football. Six TV’s and big screen. Full menu, Sunday roast and homemade tapas. Large sun terrace. Open 10amlate, seven days a week. Upstairs Los Jarales, Calahonda

January 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 12/19/11 11:07 AM Page 58

Caribbean Chicken with Spring Onion Sauce Serves 2 - Ready in 30 Mins Ingredients:

4 skinless chicken thigh fillets, trimmed of all fat 1 tbsp curry powder 100g basmati rice 200g tin black or kidney beans, rinsed and drained For the sauce: 1 tbsp olive oil 1 lime , juiced and zested small bunch chives, chopped 6 spring onions, finely chopped 1 green chilli, seeded and finely chopped 1 garlic clove, finely chopped

Method:

1. Rub the chicken with the curry powder and season. Grill for 5 minutes each side. Cook the rice and warm the beans. 2. Combine the sauce ingredients (except the lime zest), season and mix in 2 tbsp of boiling water. Leave for 5 minutes and mix. 3. Mix the rice and beans together, top with chicken and pour over sauce. Sprinkle with lime zest to serve.

Nutritional Information:

472 kcalories, protein 41.2g, carbohydrate 54.6g, fat 11.3 g, saturated fat 2.4g, fibre 6.3g, salt 1.07 g

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Store locations: JavFB t #FOJTTB t #FOJEPSN t San FVMHFODJP t TorreWJFKB t San JaWJFS t VFSB t Tel: 0034 965734000

Web: www.overseas.es

All products are subject to availability

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Peter Kay Funnies... • I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" • When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised, God doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me. • My mum was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father. • I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. • I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder. • I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast! during the Renaissance. • Well, I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names but one day I turned to my bullies and said - 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me', and it worked! From there on it was sticks and stones all the way. • My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade. • Sex is like a game of bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. • I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough.' • If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat? • I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. • You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.

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S TA R S I GN S

A look at what's in store for you during January.....

Capricorn

Aquarius

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Capricorn you have an extremely busy and powerful start to the year. Mars is in your sign all January, which gives a big increase in energy and enthusiasm. Self-confidence and sexual attractiveness is boosted, people will be drawn to your directness and strong desire to succeed. You will be very competitive but this attitude will not threaten others, in fact you should gain support for your actions. This also means that your birthday should be very good. A promising omen for the year ahead and you should take advantage of this to start new projects, be more daring and go for what you truly desire, compete to win! With Mercury passing through your sign from January 22nd to 27th, your mind will be extra sharp. Now you can put the extra confidence and energy to use in interacting with others to get even more support for your plans. Aquarius you start the New Year with Mercury in your sign from January 1st to 8th. This will broaden your mind and also your interactions with others. You will have a busy week catching up with friends and family also traveling around. You will be more communicative and have piles of paperwork to do. You should be mentally focused to handle the increased information coming in and may find yourself playing a more active role in conversations, even acting as a negotiator. Venus in your sign from January 6th to 14th brings the activity into personal relationships where more closeness gives warm feelings. You will be radiating more love which others will find attractive, so compliments and gifts may come your way. This is also a favorable time financially to invest in you, your image, clothes, jewelry, makeovers etc.

Pisces

Pisces you may have some tension to deal with as Mars is opposite your sign throughout January. There could be challenges you have to overcome in order to achieve a certain goal or simply just to be yourself. You will have a lot of energy, but it will be hard to channel constructively. Anger or frustration is likely and especially from January 1st to 8th you will need to show restraint in dealing with other people. This will increase your impulsive urges and a tendency to react in a hostile manner. Sharp words could inflame delicate situations. Your thinking will be more erratic and rushed, so avoid confrontation or making important decisions this week. Things will improve with the Sun over your sign from January 11th to 20th then Mercury rising from January 22nd to 27th. You will be able to think more clearly and express yourself much better now.

Aries

Aries you will be busy from January 8th to 15th with Mercury in your sign. The increase in communications and rushing around on errands will leave you a bit stressed and the hectic mental activity may also lead to some miss-communication with the chance of some arguments. Better to delay important decisions if you can and try not to sign anything too important till later in the month. Things look much smoother with the January 23rd new moon; this energizing and creative force will last for the next four weeks. Now is the time to initiate important projects because you have extra self-confidence and will promote yourself very well. Your career, home life and personal relationships should all benefit, as people will tend to assist, more than resist your efforts.

Taurus

Taurus you have a promising start to the New Year from January 8th to 15th Mercury will be in your sign. Conversations should be rewarding and pleasant as you can express yourself confidently and clearly. Your mind will be sharp as a tact, which means you can attend to paperwork with ease and also negotiate a better deal at work and clear up any relationship difficulties. From January 14th to 22nd, these relationships will go through a period of warmth and affection where your attractiveness draws compliments and favors from others. Making new friends through increased socializing is possible, and spending money at this time should not hurt the bank balance too much. However, a more defensive attitude will be needed for the coming weeks with the January 23rd new moon.

Gemini

Gemini you may have a few tense days in relationships with Venus in your sign from January 14th to 22nd. You will be seeking more love and affection, but may not always get exactly what you want. There can be a tendency to expect too much without making the effort during this time, as you would rather avoid hard work right now. Overindulgence with money is something to be careful of at the moment, as racking up unnecessary debt on the credit card is a real temptation. Overall though, this month is really good with the January 23rd new moon. This harmonious moon will last for a number of weeks into February and give you a feeling of emotional balance and calm. Plans should work out fine because others are more likely to help you. This is an ideal time to promote your ideas, make new friends or contacts.

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Cancer

Leo

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio

Sagittarius

Cancer you will have a busy week from January 8th to 15th with Mercury opposite sign. This hectic time with increased running around and communication is likely to cause some nervous tension and scattered thinking. You may find that because you mind is so busy, it is more difficult to express yourself clearly. This could lead to some conflict as others misunderstand your intentions or plainly work against you. You may not think so, but others could see you as being selfish or not thinking rationally this week. Things quickly get more peaceful with Venus progressing into your sign from January 14th to 22nd. Relationships run more smoothly under this influence with a lot less friction and a general feeling of harmony and inner balance. You also have a calming influence on those around you, and look and feel more beautiful. Leo you have no real action till later in the month so enjoy the break because the January 23rd new moon opposite your sign will create some tension in your life for a few weeks. The difficulties arise as your ego comes up against resistance from others, it seems like they just make things harder for you. The problems are more likely to come from men and authority figures, but relationships in general can also be the source of discord. This will be especially true from January 27th to February 3rd with Mercury passing opposite your sign. For this week, the tension and frustration is more likely to spill over and cause arguments. After a week of ego conflicts etc you will feel a little touchier and defensive, you will have a strong urge to speak your mind. This is not the best time for signing contracts, making important long-term decisions or making deals. Virgo you have energetic and sexy Mars in your sign for all of January. There are positives to this such as increased sexual attractiveness, physical strength, and ability to get what you want. Mars stations retrograde on the 24th, which can mean the more negatives sides of being self assertive and aggressive can be problematic, such as disregard for others in the quest for victory. However I think the very helpful supporting transits will mean you can have great successes this month. From January 1st to 8th with Mercury in your sign you will need to restrain yourself a bit to avoid arguments and temper tantrums. Your mind will be too rushed to make important decisions, so hold back a bit and wait. From January 11th to 20th, the sun will be in Virgo which is most fortunate, indicating harmonious relationships, increased confidence and personal power. Libra you can look forward to a nice start to the New Year, though later in January some tension may pop up. From January 1st to 8th, Mercury in your sign should bring pleasant communications and an alert mind. Your clear thinking means that you can project your thoughts and plans in a way which wins approval, and this also makes social situations more comfortable, a good time to make new friends. From January 6th to 14th Venus will really improve the chance of more loving and warm relationships with partners, friends and family. If you are single then it also increases you chances of attracting a mate because of increased charisma and social skills. Tension arises later this month coming from Mercury rising from January 22nd to 27th. Think twice before entering into arguments, as you are likely to be on the back foot and open to disappointment. Scorpio you have the action planet Mars in your sign for all of January. This will increase your self-confidence and energy levels, and also your magnetic attractiveness to others. Especially later in the month this influence means this is the time to start new projects and go for what you desire, because you will face little opposition. Promote yourself and climb the ladder of success. The only hurdle will be in the love department from January 6 to 14 with Venus square your decan, but with Mars working for you, any relationship difficulties can be sorted out through your passionate enthusiasm and willingness to please. From January 11th to 20th, the Sun is over Scorpio which intensifies the passion for victory from Mars. Definitely a week to play your hand, as your confidence and energy will be soaring. Sagittarius you start the New Year off with the harmonious transit of Venus in your sign from December 29th to January 6th. Warm and loving relations with friends and partners means you will want to enjoy socializing this week and attending parties, good timing! The perfect week for a holiday or some retail therapy purchases of luxury or beauty products favored, lucky you! However you may have to be more careful with your money from January 22nd to 31st because Venus will be with your sign. Overindulgence this week will be more costly in the long run, both on the bank account and the waistline. The desire for love and affection will be strong, but this will only be met if you make the effort to share and give love yourself.

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Strange but true... Strange but true way’s to see in the New Year across the world….. LEAD POURING, GERMANY AND AUSTRIA: When it comes to strange New Year traditions, or any other traditions, Germans and Austrians are true champions. “Lead pouring” is an old tradition which include using molten lead like tea leaves. The lead pieces are poured into a bowl full of water. The lead forms some shape in it and predicts what’s going to happen in next year. For example, the ball means luck all over the year, an anchor means eventual need of help, while the cross means death. BURNING PORTRAITS, ECUADOR: It isn’t pleasant when you’ll see someone’s picture burning, but in Ecuador that’s real fiesta. The locals gather together with pictures that represent something from the last year and burn it. That’s the way they rid of the past. On the New Year’s Eve the night in Ecuador is enlightened by all these fires throughout the country. COLORFUL UNDERWEAR, MEXICO: Mexicans try to secure their happiness in the New Year wearing colorful underwear on the New Year’s Eve. Those who want to find love have to wear red underwear, while those who seek only for luck wear yellow. GRAVEYARD VISIT, CHILE: This is really creepy one. In Chilean city of Talca people take participation on a mass on the New Year’s Eve. When it’s over, they all go to the graveyard, set up their chairs and wait for the New Year with the deceased. odd... THROWING DISHES, DENMARK: Maybe it wouldn’t be pleasant if you find thrown dishes on your doorstep in the morning, but if you’re in Denmark things look different. People there use to keep the old dishes throughout the whole year. The purpose: they throw it on their friends’ doors on New Year’s Eve. So, they don’t think that someone hates them when they find the dishes on January 1st, but they know that they have many friends.

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W h a t ’ s News

New Year’s Resolutions? So what New Year resolutions did you make and how many of them have you kept so far??

Perhaps you have told yourself you want to lose weight and have embarked on some strict diet, no doubt feeling miserable in the process! Or perhaps you are a smoker trying desperately to quit the habit with patches or chewing gum etc.

We are all guilty of making resolutions like the above, but they usually don’t last very long – a few days at most! So what is it about these resolutions that make them so impossible to keep? Mainly it’s because the resolutions we make are the very things we have found most difficult to resolve in the past. The start of any new year is a time when we take stock of our lives and decide how best to move forward. Unfortunately, this time of reflection is quickly taken over by the normal tedium of daily life and so we forget to maintain our resolve to stick to our new resolutions. As a practising hypnotherapist here on the coast, I receive many enquiries in January about how to turn these resolutions into permanent changes in peoples’ lives. So even if you made a few resolutions and haven’t managed to keep them, don’t give up just yet. Clinical hypnosis can help you to improve your quality of life by helping you to make a positive change for the future. Who knows, perhaps next year, you won’t need to make any resolutions! Neil R. Paterson BA Dhp Tel: +34 952 199 298 info@hypnotherapycostadelsol.com / www.hypnotherapycostadelsol.com www.hypnoband-spain.com / www.hypnoband-deutschland.com

MARBELLA STAGE SCHOOL MARBELLA STAGE SCHOOL Puerto Banus is now also in CAPOBINO and CALAHONDA every SATURDAY from 10.30-12.00 for all children age 4-7 Offering classes in Ballet, Tap and Street Dance Call 952906865 for further information or go to www.marbellastageschool.com SIMPLY THE BEST 66

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Win a Nostalgic Meal al ffor Two oa at The Courtesy of Costa osta Link M

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To celebrate the opening of The Retro in La Cala de Mijas we are giving away a nostalgic meal for two cooked especially by Chef Nigel Mellors. All you have to do is tell us what your ideal meal for two people would be and if you are the lucky winner, Nigel will cook it for you. For example, if you would enjoy a pineapple hedgehog, followed by Steak Fondue, finished with a lemon syllabub and complemented with a bottle of Blue Nun all you need to do is let us know. Send your suggestions by email to winadinner@costalinkmagazine.com along with your telephone number by the 25th January 2012, and winner will be chosen at random and notified by telephone by the 31st of January. Please note, that the competition is not open to employees of The Costa Link Magazine or The Retro Eaterie & Bar and no cash equivalent is available. The winner will be notified by telephone by the 31st January and subsequently sent a voucher for the meal of their choice by email which can redeemed within a month.

January 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 12/19/11 1:23 PM Page 68

New year, New you.....?!

We all start the New Year with such good intentions; losing weight, joining a gym, giving up smoking, spending more quality time with the children, etc. etc. but by the time Febuary is approaching most of those resolutions are just a distant memory. What is it that makes us all give up so easily when we had so much determination just a few weeks previously? Setting unrealistic goals This is one of the main reasons people give up trying. Stating that you want to lose two stone in a month sounds very nice but is unrealistic. When this doesn’t happen it’s easy to think “What’s the point?” The same applies with a new exercise regime or any other good intention. By setting unrealistic goals we set ourselves up for ultimate failiure. If however we stated for example that we would like to lose half a stone in a month and acheived this, we feel fantastic. We have done what we set out to do, and have succeeded. So whatever your resolution, make sure it’s achievable and something you will be able to gently build into your life. You don’t need to go to the gym everyday, start off by saying you will try and go twice a week, once you’re into that routine you’ll find it much easier to fit in another one or two trips. Spending less time at work and more time with the family is another example that will have to gradually be built into your everyday life. If you suddenly cut your hours down by ten a week, you’ll feel it’s not an acheivable option as the work starts to pile up, but trying to get home just half an hour a day earlier is it a great start which can gradually be increased as you learn to delegate more. Continued on page 72

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New year, New you.....?!

Continued.....Trying to go it alone It’s a know fact that if we join a group of like minded, supportative people we are much more likely to suceed than simply going it alone. Joining a slimming club to help you lose weight will not only let you meet people aiming for the same goal, but will also become a valuable support group for times when the going is tough, aswell as giving you the extra discipline of being weighed each week. Joining a gym with a friend and arranging to travel there together can make it much harder to say “Oh I can’t be bothered tonight” when it means letting someone else down too. If giving up smoking is your resolution, don’t try it simply on will power alone, there are so many products available and specialist clinics and treatments to help you kick the habit for good, why struggle alone? Forgetting why you started Don’t lose sight of your reasons for making a resolution in the first place. Try to do something visual to remind you, whether it be sticking an unflattering photo to the fridge, or a smiling photo of your children on your desk at work, anything that reminds you why you made the promise to yourself in the first place and treat yourself whenever you hit your realistic targets. Make 2012 the year that you acheive what you set out to do and you’ll find the confidence to improve other areas of your life aswell, knowing that you’re not a quitter and that you can do it! And remember... “Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t... you’re right.”

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teleweb internet & telephone just got better! tion for someone who lives here full time. Do you have a wireless internet system that you are not happy with? Teleweb will convert you over to their service at no cost. What have you got to lose?

HAVE A UK No IN SPAIN!

teleweb – “Pay as you go” internet Teleweb Internet & Telephone, has been providing wireless internet services since 2003, and in that time, has seen consistent growth and added new exciting services to its well established high speed 5GHz wireless internet service. FLEXIBILITY: Because you do not need a land line, you can have internet on a “Pay as you go” system. There are flexible solutions ranging from 1 hour to a permanent connec-

Teleweb offers a telephone system (without the need for a landline) with calls from 1.8c per minute. It is just like a Telefonica landline without the wires. No need to have your computer on to make and receive calls. Choose a telephone number from your home country or just elect to have a Malaga number. This system will work anywhere in the world with the same low call costs, you just need an internet connection. For more information on any of the above, please call Teleweb on 952 833 300 or Email: info@teleweb-marbella.

January 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 12/19/11 11:10 AM Page 72

Puzzle It Out

Solutions on page 82

Crossword Across: 8 Wainscot (4) 9 Oddballs (10) 10 Draw (6) 11 Operations (8) 12 Used to tie a shoe (4) 13 Luscious (10) 17 Cain's brother (4) 18 Combination (abbrev.) (5) 19 Jupiter (4) 20 Specified as a condition (10) 22 Expunge (4) 23 Thorny shrubs (8) 27 Appointing (6) 28 Astronomers tools (10) 29 Where birds live (4)

Down: 1 Hare (10) 2 A city in Canada (8) 3 Organised (10) 4 Missile (4) 5 Picnic animals (4) 6 An ointment (6) 7 Glance over (4) 14 Extent (5) 15 Overcast (10) 16 Beauty (10) 19 A court decision (8) 21 Strike with the fist (6) 24 Bobbin (4) 25 Scottish for "Lake" (4) 26 French for "Seven" (4)

Sudoku

Brain Teaser SNAIL RACING  -  After  the  recent  snail  racing  contest, the  four  contestants  were  congratulating  each  other. Only one snail wore the same number as the position it finished  in.  Alfred's  snail  wasn't  painted  yellow  nor blue, and the snail who wore 3, which was painted red, beat  the  snail  who  came  in  third.  Arthur's  snail  beat Anne's  snail,  whereas  Alice's  snail  beat  the  snail  who wore  1.  The  snail  painted  green,  Alice's,  came  second and the snail painted blue wore number 4. Anne's snail wore number 1. Can you work out who's snail finished where, its number and the colour it was painted?

Say What You See...

DEEF 72

ECABT

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F I N A N C I A L Economic & Currency News... INVESTING IN SPANISH BONDS Why do it? Spanish Government Bonds (Sovereign Debt) have received a lot of press coverage in recent years. They are essentially loan agreements between the Spanish Government and any individual or institution. If you lend the Spanish Government money over a 10-year period (by purchasing a 10 year government bond), you will receive an interest payment of almost 7% (at time of writing) per annum for 10 years, and your money (capital) back at the end, backed by the government. That is, of course, if the Government does not default on its payment. It is this risk of default that makes what is usually a relatively low risk investment (Government debt) into a slightly higher risk category. Greece has already not lived fully up to its obligations, giving bondholders a 50% 'haircut'. So why take the risk with Spain? Firstly, what are the other options if you are lucky enough to have savings? Interest rates are at an all time low, the stock market is volatile and pessimistic, and commodities have seemingly already reached their peak. If you are a low to medium risk investor, there are few options with good prospects, when it comes to beating high inflation. Secondly, is Spain likely to go the same way as Germany? Spain and Italy are considered too big to fail, and it is more likely they will be bailed out by Germany. Whether by direct foreign aid, loan guarantees, or bond purchases by the ECB, Spanish bonds will effectively become German bonds. Whether you consider 7% enough of a return to compensate for this risk, is up to the individual or your financial advisor to decide. If you earn money in a different currency to Euros, you will also have to take into account currency exchange risk. Bonds can be purchased directly from the Government, and the website http://www.investinginbondseurope.org/ is a good place to start. It is also possible to investment in government debt via collective investment funds that take a wide range of investor monies, and place them into a wide range of debt vehicles. It is possible also possible to buy and sell government debt on the open market, before the 10 year period is over, this could be at a profit or loss.

Written by our financial expert James Alexander. If you would like fully regulated independent financial advice please contact us: sales@costalinkmagazine.com or on 663 061 669.

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What will 2012 bring? Well Sterling reached a 10 month high against the euro it reached 1.19282 in mid December, Good news for the pound. However the woes of the Euro and the Euro zone continue to raise its ugly head!! Still no solution to rescue this multi nation currency. 2012 is not looking good for the Euro. Credit ratings agencies are threatening mass down grades, with the possibility of France and even Germany – the powerhouse of Europe losing their AAA credit rating, if this happens it could require some investment funds to sell their Euro bonds of the effected countries, in turn making borrowing for those countries more expensive. Italy, France and Spain together need to raise an average of 17 billion Euros a week in 2012 to stave off further problems. Spain is under pressure for more austerity cuts. These were announced on the 30th December - nice new year’s present for all of us!!! What does this mean for the average foreign national living here in Spain? Speaking with our currency partner Moneycorp will help, they can offer you guidance on currencies, the best time to trade, maximising the amount of money that you receive on your exchange. If you are selling your property, again our currency partner can help, they can repatriate your funds to the UK for a cost of only €275.00 regardless of the amount, we know some banks charge up to 0.9% of the funds being sent back. €150,000.00 would equate to €1,350.00 in bank charges alone. Moneycorp can save you €1,075.00 in bank fees. Why give this to the bank, surely its better in your pocket!!!! Speak to Moneycorp without any obligation, they have an office on Puerto Banus with very friendly, helpful, professional staff and will be more than happy to help. Moneycorp are like a cup of tea,

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January 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 12/19/11 1:22 PM Page 76

COMING in2012

It’s going to be an important year this year with the huge number of new cars that will be released, here are just a few of the most anticipated. Toyotas new rear-wheel drive sports car will be called GT 86, pronounced 'eight six', not 'eighty six'. It's naturally aspirated and the GT 86 adds Toyota's D-4S direct injection to make its 197bhp at a high-ish 7000rpm and 205Nm at an equally raucous 6600rpm No performance claims have been issued yet. The new Mini Roadster - a convertible for those who find the Mini Convertible a bit too big is based on the Coupe, meaning a different rear deck and - with the roof folded - no more pramlike hood stacked on top of the boot. The new Roadster is the first production two-seat opentop Mini in history The beautiful Alfa Romeo 4C is powered by the turbocharged 1.8-litre engine currently used in the Giulietta, located in the centre for maximum balance and driving the rear wheels. Alfa claims it weighs only 850kg, meaning a stunning power to weight ratio when combined with the 207bhp, four-cylinder engine. Top speed is a claimed 155mph, with 0-62mph in less than 5 seconds. It will be around 45,000 Euros But get your order in quickly, as Alfa only intend to produce about 1,500 globally. It’s going to be a big year for the German manufacturers, Mercedes are launching a new ML range, the all new SL and the new S class which will come in four different styles, standard wheelbase, extended wheelbase, coupe and a really pretty looking four door convertible! BMW are splitting the 3 series as we know it up! The all new three series will be a four door saloon, and there will be a new range, the four series – essentially a three series coupe or convertible. Another wacky BMW invention the six series gran coupe – a four door six series to rival the Mercedes CLS and Audi A7 will make its debut in 2012. The next generation Porsche 911 is due out early this year – no prizes for guessing what it will look like, much the same as the all new Boxter we imagine which will be out later on in the year……..

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TIP TIPS&TRICKS T IP PS S& S &T TR RIIIC R CK KS S How Many Clubs Can You Chip With? The  chip  shot  is  best  described  as  a  saver: you’ll use it when you have missed the green and still want to make par. It is designed to lift the ball over the fringe of the green and drop  the  ball  on  the  putting  surface,  to  run like a putt into the hole or at worst very close to it. 6 Iron

results that will knock shots off your card. This table will give you a starting guide which you must try around the practice green. As  you  move  through  the  clubs  towards  the wedges,  the  carry  and  height  of  the  shot

25% Carry

75% Roll

The  problem  for  a  lot  of 8 Iron 40% Carry 60% Roll golfers  is  they  can  only chip  with  one  club  in Pitching Wedge 60% Carry 40% Roll their  bag.  Some  golfers Sand Iron/ even  carry  a  club  just 75% Carry 25% Roll Lob Wedge made for chipping which is a waste of space when increases giving you a chip shot that can be you are only allowed fourteen clubs in your used  from  the  front  of  a  green  running  to  a bag when you play. pin  position  at  the  back  with  a  five  iron,  or The first thing you must know about the chip over a bunker on to the putting surface and shot  is  it  is  a  type  of  shot  which  can  be close to the pin with a wedge. played with all of your irons achieving differGolfers out there who have been using different results and finishes with each club. Once ent clubs will be smiling as I let out this secret. you accept this,  you will increase the amount Those who just use the one club, give it a try of short game shot choices you have, to use and knock some shots of your score. to a level you have not yet experienced and

IT’S A CRACKER.....

A Catholic priest and a nun were taking a rare afternoon off and enjoying a round of golf. The priest stepped up to the first tee and to ok a mighty swing. He missed the ball entirely and said "S**t, I missed." The good Sister told him to watch his language. On his next swing, he missed again. "S**t, I missed." "Father, I'm not going to play with you if you keep swearing," the nun said tartly. The priest promised to do better and the round continued. On the 4th tee, he misses again. The usual comment followed. Sister is really mad now and says, "Father John, God is going to strike you dead if you keep swearing like that." On the next tee, Father John swings and misses again. "S**t, I missed."  A terrible rumble is heard and a gigantic bolt of lightning comes out of the sky and strikes Sister Marie dead in her tracks. And from the sky comes a booming voice………… “S**t, I missed!”

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January 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 12/19/11 11:11 AM Page 79

<438D< B40B>= ?A824B <438D< B40B>= ?A824B

1st December 201 1 - 14th February 2012 2011 HIGH SEASON - Until May 31st 2011 ‡ +ROHV ¼ %DOO 3DFNDJH ‡ +ROHV ¼ %DOO 3DFNDJH ‡ +ROHV ¼ ‡ +ROHV } ' 7^[Tb %! $ € ! 1P[[ ?PRZPVT ¼ *UHHQ )HHV %XJJ\ ¼ *U HH Q )HHV %XJJ\ ¼ %D OO 3 DFNDJH %DOO 3DFNDJH } ( 7^[Tb "% € ! 6aTT] 5TTb Early Bird (from 08.00 to 09.00) - 28.50€ *UHHQ )HHV %XJJ\ ¼ 13.00) - 36.00€ *UHHQ )HHV %XJJ\ ¼ Twilight Twilight (from Twilight Twilight Buggy - 18.00€

1dVVh #$

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January 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 12/19/11 11:11 AM Page 80

KIDS STUFF

w

ar!!! Ye time friends

new

countdown coun tdown

Happy N e

New Year Year Wordsearch Wordsearch

year

day balloons

resolutions

midnight midnight celebrate celebrate

eve

party fun fun

noise

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I WOULD LOVE A FAMILY

My name is Kara, I am a stunning Husky X (so I am told)! I am Approx 5 mths old. I was found with my siblings in the campo alone in a very poor condition. I have an excellent character with no obvious bad behaviours. I would just love to live with a family in a nice home, where someone would love and care for me, in return I would give them my unconditional love.

FOUNDATION FOR ABANDONED AND MISTREATED ANIMALS

For SMS text donations: 27067 / MX FAMA

LOOKING FOR A HOME

My name is Evie, I am a young Brittany Spaniel. I am a calm girl, I enjoy walks and I am very good on the lead. I love curling up in a nice cosy bed. I am no problem with other dogs, and I am good with children, I am used to living in a family home, but my family moved back to the UK and left me behind. I am a happy dog. Fama took me in and gave me a home, otherwise I would have ended up on the street.

F.A.M.A is a foundation set up and funded solely by voluntary contributions to provided an acceptable standard of life to the abandoned animals whilst in its care. For more information, please visit our website: www.f-a-m-a.net or contact Pat Colman on

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January 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 12/19/11 11:13 AM Page 82

Puzzle It Out Solutions FromPages 16 & 72 Crossword Solution

Just Say What You See Feedback Cabinet

Brain Teaser

Owner - Wore - Colour 1) Alfred - 3 - red 2) Alice - 2 - green 3) Arthur - 4 - blue 4) Anne - 1 - yellow

Trivia Quiz Answers 1) Blue, Indigo and Violet 2) Romeo 3) The Union Flag 4) Yen 5) Winnie the Pooh Stories 6) 12 Apollo 11, 12, 14, 15, 16, 17 – between 1969 and 1972 7) Giraffe 8) Jesse Owens 9) Kermit the Frog 10) Groovy 11) Ba’ath Party 12) Big Ben 13) Q 14) Hogwarts 15) Aardvark 16) Lee Harvey Oswald 17) Yellow and Black 18) Angela Rippon 19) George Orwell (1984) 20) Piccadilly Circus 21) Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves in 1991 22) Colour – ‘Toll of the Sea’ in 1922, Sound – ‘The Jazz Player’ in 1927 23) George Harrison 24) London, England 25) Tony Blackburn 26) Jupiter 27) John Milton 28) The Mayflower 29) 7 (I V L X C D M) 30) A Helicopter Bonus: 3795m

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The Jokes page

Jokes page

A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends 5,000€ and feels really good about the result. On his way home he stops at a news stand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35," was the reply. "I'm actually 47", the man says, feeling really happy. After that he goes into McDonalds for lunch, and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, "Oh you look about 29". "I am actually 47!" This makes him feel really good. While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a mans age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your man parts for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age." As there was no one around, the man thought what the hell and let her slip her hand down his pants. Ten minutes later the old lady says, "OK, it's done. You are 47." Stunned the man says, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?" The old lady replies, "I was behind you in the queue at McDonalds."' Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says “Dam!”. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. 84

“But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “Because”, he said, “I can't stand chessnuts boasting in an open foyer.” My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. He was pulled in by a strong current. A cute little old lady goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. It never smells and is always silent. As a matter of fact I've farted at least ten times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because it doesn't smell and is silent.” The doctor says, “I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week.” The next week the lady returns. “Doctor,” she says, “I don't know what the heck you gave me, but now my farts, although still silent, stink terribly.” “Good,” the doctor says. “Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing.”

A chicken is lying in bed with an egg and has a smug look after great sex. He lights a cigarette and thinks “well, that's answered that question”.

January 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 12/19/11 11:13 AM Page 85

MANUFACTURES MANUFACTURES O OF FA ALUMINIUM LUMINIUM W WINDOWS I N D OWS & D DOORS OORS

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January 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 12/19/11 11:13 AM Page 86

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January 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 12/19/11 11:13 AM Page 87

January 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 12/19/11 11:14 AM Page 88

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