Costa Link Magazine July 2012

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Bar & Restaurant Guide Puzzles & Quizzes What’s On Guide Horoscopes Local Info Kids Page Jokes

Covering the Costa del Sol

Including: Fuengirola•La Cala•Calahonda•Elviria Marbella•Puerto Banus•San Pedro•Benahavis•Cancelada Estepona•La Duquesa•Sabinillas•Sotogrande•Alhaurin•Coín

www.costalinkmagazine.com

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Wow after euro 2012 what have we in store this month – well there’s the Olympics for a start! Held in London for the third time, making London the city that has hosted the games the most times, firstly in 1912 and secondly in 1948. I can’t wait to sit outside a bar with a nice cool beer and soak up the atmosphere.

This is my favourite time of year, one of the things I really I love about this time is the smell! Its suntan cream during the day and barbeques in the evenings –it kinda makes you feel like you are holiday! The downside tough is the rental cars on the roundabouts – if you are a driver you will know what I mean!!!!!

Check out the competition this month we are giving away a meal for two people in Masala at El Pilar, between Estepona and San Pedro, the food there is amazing - so get your entry in quickly! Whilst on the subject, congratulations to David King, the winner of the Dolphin Safari competition in May, the winner of June’s competition will be announced here next month.

And one festival to look out for! – if you have had a near death experience in the last year, you could go to the Near Death Festival in Neves in Galicia, people who have had an experience are paraded through the streets in coffins to give thanks for their life!

Gosh its hot....

Link!

Everyone Loves the Costa Bar & Resta urant

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What’s On

Guide 66

Puzzles

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TH E JOK ES PA GE

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Kids STUFF

Contact Us Call: 951 216 131 or 663 061 669 Email:sales@costalinkmagazine.com Website: www.costalinkmagazine.com Skype: costalink.magazine Tweet: @costa_link Deposito Legal: MA-228-2007 Deadline Date: 18th of each month

No part of this publication, including layout, graphic design or pictures may be copied, SCANNED, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. Costa Link Magazine accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors. All rights reserved © 2012.

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A W o m a n’ s W o r l d Hormones...

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.

Hurrumph…..Men are so stupid!

A Helping Hint...

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn’t run, I kept hinting to my husband that he should get it fixed, but somehow he always had something else to take care of first - the car, golf, fishing, always something more important to him. Finally, I thought of a clever way to make her point.

When he arrived home one day, he found me seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. He watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. he was gone only a few minutes. When he came out again he handed me a toothbrush. “When you finish cutting the grass,” he said, “you might as well sweep the pavement.” The doctors say he will walk again, but will always have a limp.

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hoT goSS!

NiCole SChziNgeR JUdgiNg The X FACToR:

After weeks of speculation and a couple of Spice girls being at each other throats Nicole Scherzinger has been announced as the new X-FACTOR Judge along side Gary, Tulisa and Louis when the show returns to our screens…. She won’t be mixing business with pleasure while working on the X Factor this year. The newly appointed judge plans to relocate to London when filming on the live X Factor shows begins in October, but she won’t be enjoying lots of snuggly nights in with her F1 driver boyfriend Lewis Hamilton during her nights off. Former Pussycat Doll Nicole has revealed the she won’t be moving in with Lewis, and even worse he’ll be off driving fast cars round and round in circles when she’s here judging, “I’m actually going to spend less time with Lewis. I believe the X Factor shows are going to be running the same time as his races,” she told The Sun. “But I’ll juggle things. I think everything will work out the way it’s supposed to. It’ll be OK.” What Nicole will be doing when she’s living in London is seeing the sights and trying out some British grub, “I’m looking forward to a long stay in the UK. It’ll be great; it’s like my second home.

SAd NeWS: JohNNy depp ANd VANeSSA pARAdiS ANNoUNCe SpliT BUT......

We are glum faced to hear the news of another celebrity break – Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis have split up after 14 years together. The couple made their sad announcement through Johnny’s publicist, who revealed the pair had “amicably separated. But it seems Johnny has been not so backward in coming forward, he has ALREADY moved on???? Johnny Depp and Amber Heard have been evolvoling for want of a better word their relationship following Paradis split. 'He's even bought her a horse!'

Rumours about the nature of their relationship have been swirling for some time, but it's being reported that things 'seem to be hotting up' between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. The Rum Diary co-stars are said to be so close that bisexual actress Heard, 26, has been a 'regular visitor' to the New Mexico set of The Lone Ranger where 49-year-old Depp is currently filming.

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Hot goss!

Hollywood's HigHest-paid actress is twiligHt star Kristen stewart

Stewart earned a massive £21.9million ($34.5m) between May 2011 and May 2012, but the majority of that figure didn't come from new films like 'Snow White and the Huntsman' and 'On The Road'. Forbes reports that most of that money came from ‘Twilight’, for which she earns £7.9million ($12.5m) per movie, plus a cut of the earnings, which have kept on rolling in. At 22 years old, Stewart is also the youngest actress on the list, which is mostly made up of well-established female stars. Forbes Los Angeles bureau chief Dorothy Pomerantz said: "Kristen Stewart is an up-and-coming star. "She is earning a lot of money from one of the most successful franchises of all time. This is who you would expect to see right now. "This year you are seeing somebody young and at the brink of potentially great stardom sitting on the top of the list." Cameron Diaz comes in second thanks to the surprise success of ‘Bad Teacher’, with Sandra Bullock, Angelina Jolie, and Stewart's 'Snow White' co-star Charlize Theron rounding out the top 5. Jolie topped the list last year. Julia Roberts, Sarah Jessica Parker, Meryl Streep and Kristen Wiig make up the rest of the top ten. The top 10 actresses made $200 million between them according to Forbes.com, a lot less than the $361 million made by the 10 highest-earning male stars.

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Why I'm Divorced

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my husband would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, he barely said good morning, let alone 'Happy Birthday.' I thought....well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... they will remember. My kids came bouncing down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my handsome boss Rick, said, 'Good morning, lady, and by the way Happy Birthday!' It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock, when Rick knocked on my door and said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me.'

I said, 'Thanks, Rick, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!'

We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. He chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Rick said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day...we don't need to go straight back to the office, do we?' I responded, 'I guess not. What do you have in mind?'

He said, 'Let's drop by my place, it's just around the corner.'

After arriving at his house, Rick turned to me and said, 'If you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back.'

'Ok.' I nervously replied. He went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, he came out carrying a huge birthday cake, followed by my husband, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing 'Happy Birthday'.

And I just sat there....on the sofa....

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naked.

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Advice SOCRATES by

Keep this in mind the next time you are about to repeat a rumour or spread gossip.

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogenes?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied, "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."

"Triple filter?" asked the acquaintance.

"That's right," continued, "Before you talk to me about Diogenes let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say.

The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man said, "Actually I just heard about it."

"All right," said Socrates, "So you don't really know if it's true or not.

Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about Diogenes something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Socrates continued, "You want to tell me something about Diogenes that may be bad, even though you're not certain it's true?"

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued, "You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter, the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about Diogenes going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really." "Well," concluded Socrates, "If what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me or anyone at all?"

The man was bewildered and ashamed. This is an example of why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

It also explains why Socrates never found out that Diogenes was sh$£*ing his wife.

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1) What is the full and proper name of the city of Hull?

2) In which castle is the tomb of St George?

3) How many hours is a ‘dog watch’ at sea; is it 2, 4 or 5?

4) St Patrick rid Ireland of what according to legend?

5) What word can mean a ‘pole with a footrest’ or a ‘wading bird’?

6) What is the slowest fish?

7) Which is larger – the Isle of Wight or the Isle of Anglesey?

8) What is a ‘shooting brake’?

9) Who was the first ever Bond girl?

10) Which animal forms the legs of a griffin?

11) What is the 2nd book of the Old Testament?

12) What is the vegetable used to make ‘Eggs Florentine’?

13) ‘Boss Hog’ featured in which TV series?

14) A ‘Turks Head’ is a type of what?

15) Which birds feathers should not be allowed into the house?

16) In which country was snooker invented?

17) Where is the National Museum of Geography?

18) How many pieces does each player have at the start of a game of Backgammon?

19) Which Kennedy ran for President in 1960?

20) Which species of animal contains the most poisonous animal in the world?

21) In the song, which river is more than a mile wide?

22) Which jubilee did Queen Elizabeth II just celebrate?

23) Which type of skate was invented in 1760?

24) Which word goes before the following to make 3 new words, ‘Gain’, ‘Row’ and ‘Tender’?

25)In which decade was Eric Clapton born?

26) What is Allurophobia the fear of?

27) What is the Russian for citadel?

28) What’s the name of the celeb allegedly recently dumped by her husband on her birthday?

29) Where in London are the Margaret Thatcher gates?

30) Which fly on the wall documentary was recently filmed in Marbs (Marbella)?

TRIVIA QUIZ

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Olymic Facts...

The Official Olympic Flag:

Created by Pierre de Coubertin in 1914, the Olympic flag contains five interconnected rings on a white background. The five rings symbolize the five significant continents and are interconnected to symbolize the friendship to be gained from these international competitions. The rings, from left to right, are blue, yellow, black, green, and red. The colors were chosen because at least one of them appeared on the flag of every country in the world. The Olympic flag was first flown during the 1920 Olympic Games.

First Modern Champion:

James B. Connolly (United States), winner of the hop, step, and jump (the first final event in the 1896 Olympics), was the first Olympic champion of the modern Olympic Games.

The First Opening Ceremonies:

The first opening ceremonies were held during the 1908 Olympic Games in London.

The Exact Length of a Marathon:

During the first several modern Olympics, the marathon was always an approximate distance. In 1908, the British royal family requested that the marathon start at the Windsor Castle so that the royal children could witness its start. The distance from the Windsor Castle to the Olympic Stadium was 42,195 meters (or 26 miles and 385 yards).

In 1924, this distance became the standardized length of a marathon.

Con’ t on page 22

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Con’t

Olymic Facts...

Gymnasium:

The word "gymnasium" comes from the Greek root "gymnos" meaning nude; the literal meaning of "gymnasium" is "school for naked exercise." Athletes in the ancient Olympic Games would participate in the nude.

The 1st Olympic Games :

Games in 1896 featured only nine sectors. These were: Athletics, Cycling, Fencing, Gymnastics, Shooting, Swimming, Tennis, Weightlifting and Wrestling. All of these except tennis have been featured at every subsequent Games

Tennis Banned:

Tennis was played at the Olympics until 1924, then reinstituted in 1988.

Real Gold Medals:

The last Olympic gold medals that were made entirely out of gold were awarded in 1912.

Paintings - At the 1904 Paris Games the winners were awarded paintings instead of medals as the French believed that they would be more valuable.

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ht “The Futures Brnig e” The Futures Ora g As happens every month at Costa Link HQ we find interesting articles, facts for your delectation…

Well this month we came across a corker. Madge Barron (aka Madge Harvey from Benidorm) Top tanning tips: Madge starts by letting us know that talking about tanning is NOT a controversial subject also she lets us know that the sun is GOOD for you, not bad! Apparently in Madge’ s eye’ s the whole world has gone mad in recent years “ a load of, often vegetarian, moaning minnies“ “ are trying to persuade the general public that tanning is bad for you, HAHAHAHAHA” ! Madge says that the so called minnies are “ the same lot that say smoking it also bad for your health” . Apparently her late husband Mel used to say, “ it’ s political correctness gone mad” . Madge is happy to advise anyone who is still listening at this point that a nice healthy tan helps people in the public eye look successful and glamorous.

With the help of Madge we look through a few of the celeb-tastic tans that are glowing toxically around the world at this moment.

Continued on page 30...

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A MASKED MAN WALKS INTO A BANK AND HOLDS IT UP AT GUNPOINT...

In the process of robbing the bank, the robber’s mask fell off. He quickly put it back on his face and asked the cashier directly ahead of him if she saw his face. She admitted that she did, so he shot and killed her. He then turned to the cashier that was beside the one her just killed and asked if she had also seen his face. She said that she did and he shot and killed her too. He then turned to a man, a customer who just happened to be in the bank when the robbery was taking place. The robber asked the customer if he had seen his face.

The customer replied, “No, but I’m pretty sure my wife did.”

A Man’s World

A MAN IN HIS MID FORTIES BOUGHT A NEW BMW AND WAS OUT ON THE INTERSTATE FOR A NICE EVENING DRIVE...

The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to see what the engine had. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.“There’s no way they can catch a BMW,” he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, then 100, and finally reality hit him and he knew he shouldn’t run from the police, so he slowed down and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. “It’s been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it’s Friday the 13th. I don’t feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before, you can go.”The guy thinks for a second and says, “Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back.”“Have a nice weekend,” said the officer and he walked away.

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ht “The Futures Barnig ge” The Futures Or

Continued from page 24

George Hamilton IV. Madge say’ s “ some of your younger readers out there might not recognise him but he was a very GLAMOROUS and RICH film star” in his time we think.

George gets a 8/10 on the toxic scale.

Des o’ Conner is another one of Madge’ s favorites she says “ he’ s a wonderful singer and can tell and good joke” , “ he is smiling and happy because he has a nice healthly tan” .

Des only racks up a 4/10 on the toxic scale.

Paris Hilton A serial offender when it comes to the ‘ Tango’ . Paris may have stepped up her game when it comes to ‘ style’ of late, but she still desperately needs to tone down the fake tan application. Paris gets a 6/10 on the toxic scale.

Victoria Beckham Back to her brunette best there’ s no denying VB looks fabulous now – but an LA move does funny things to a woman, and the platinum blonde/über-tanned Posh of a few years ago was a 9/10 on the only way is orange.

Katie Price has never been one to opt for the, ahem, ‘ natural’ approach, so it should come as no surprise that her tan comes from a bottle. The finished look? The stuff that fake tanning folklore is made of. Toxic rating 10/10.

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THE POISON TOAD IN YOUR GARDEN

Here in Andalucia

If you notice your dog foaming at the mouth after messing with a toad, immediately rinse it out with water. If the dog eats the toad, you should probably get it to a vet or animal hospital right away.

The giant toad can grown up to eight inches long and is very heavy. This toad is greenish-brown and covered with bumps. It has glands that can secrete a very toxic poison. The Giant toad is responsible for the death of many dogs. This toad will come into gardens and eat the dogs’ food. If the dog would grab the toad it would be immediately poisoned.

Pet owners might notice these signs: frothy salivation with vigorous head shaking, pawing at the mouth and continuous efforts to vomit, in coordination and staggering.

If you know of or strongly suspect toad poisoning, immediately rinse out your pet's mouth with water before going to your veterinarian or an emergency clinic for treatment. Most toad poisonings occur in the evening or the night.

Unfortunately, there are no antidotes for toad venom intoxication, but many of these victims may be saved with symptomatic treatment, which reduces the absorption of toxin and controls the clinical signs of illness. Depending upon circumstances, your veterinarian may use a variety of drugs to control heart abnormalities, breathing problems and excitation of the central nervous system.

The key to survival is rapid recognition of signs and prompt veterinary medical care.

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Medical Tips

Navigating the maze of in-patient care

When I moved to Spain in 2005 I didn’t speak much Spanish - and no ‘Andalu’ at all - but with my experience as a registered nurse in Holland and Germany for more than15 years, I was determined to continue working in hospitals. I decided to offer my services as a contact for foreign patients, using my knowledge of medical jargon and procedures. After living in Spain for a few months I began work as a volunteer in Hospital Parque San Antonio, a private hospital in Málaga. Over the years my knowledge of the Spanish language and customs has expanded and I am always happy to use my skills to help ´my´ patients.

Having to go to hospital is never easy for patients but it is even worse if they do not understand the language and the local customs. In my job in the Customer Service Department as a liaison nurse and translator I meet many people from different nationalities and backgrounds. Being close to the port of Malaga, Hospital Parque San Antonio frequently receives patients from cruise ships; they are often scared about being treated or having to stay behind in a strange country. In addition to translating between the medical staff and the patient I make sure that the patient´s family is kept informed about the procedures in the hospital as well as ensuring they are aware that there is a supermarket around the corner and a kiosk nearby which sells foreign-language newspapers.

I visit every day and help where I can to make the stay as pleasant as possible. Being Dutch I am convinced about the importance of accurate and full information. For me it is the key to removing unnecessary stress.

Here are some tips to help make your hospital visit less stressful: •If you have private medical insurance, check in advance with your insurance company that they will guarantee payment of the costs for the treatment and out-patient visit.

•If you have an appointment with a doctor, or are going to be admitted to hospital, check that you have all the information needed, i.e., any medication you take (better yet, take the medication in the original box with you), previous test results and medical reports.

•If you go in for an operation, remember the Preoperatorio (pre-operation test results - normally consisting of a blood test, EKG and a chest X-ray), take the signed consent form for the intervention/operation and make sure you are in ayunas (without food or drink, this includes water) if the doctor has requested this.

•Medical staff in spain expect that you will turn up with at least one family member or friend. In addition, in most hospitals, a family member or friend is expected to stay with the patient overnight. I have great difficulty explaining to the nursing staff that it is not normal ´up-north´ for anyone other than the patient to stay in the hospital. They don’t understand why feeding the dog is more important than holding the hand of a loved-one.

Because I know the staff and can see both points of view, I can help both parties understand each other better.

I do hope you won’t need my help but, just in case, you can find me in Hospital Parque San Antonio. The hospital works with many major private insurance companies as well as mutuas (work-based insurance). Since opening its doors in 1962, the hospital has continually expanded and improved its facilities and services in order to provide patients with the highest quality professional medical care, using the most advanced technology and treatments available. It is one of the first private hospitals in Malaga to be awarded the A+ international certification for the quality of its standards in caring both for patients and the hospital environment.

Hospital Parque San Antonio offers emergency services 24 hours a day, 365 days of the year. It offers a fast, efficient, high quality service tailored to the needs of the individual patient. Quick evaluation by highly trained medical professionals, the A&E Department assesses and prioritises patients, ordering diagnostic tests and the attendance of specialists as deemed necessary.

The hospital offers numerous medical and surgical specialities in the out-patient clinic. Appointments can be made in person, by telephone during office hours from Monday through Friday or via the website. www.parquesanantonio.nehos.com Don’t hesitate to get in touch if you need a hand making an appointment or have a question about our services.

Hospital Parque San Antonio, is a Preferred Partner of “medilink” and Daphne Theunissen is a Registered nurse and the liason officer for Customer Service Department . For more information on Parque San Antonio or any of our other Preferred Partners call “medilink” on 952 93 38 76.

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Are you fed up with trying to locate good, reliable and accurate information, unsure who to turn to when it comes to health and health related issues here on the Costa del Sol...

…solving the puzzle of healthcar e in healthcare Spain!

Tel: T el: (0034) 952 93 38 76 Email: medilinkspain@gmail.com only you'll ever medilink the onl y tel no y ou'll e ver need

July 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/21/12 1:53 PM Page 38

Health & Well Being

NECK & SHOulDER PAIN THERAPEuTIC MASSAGE FOR PAIN RElIEF AND IMPROvED FlEXIBIlITy

THE CuRE...

Massage for your pain Massage can be one of the most effective measures you might seek for relieving neck and shoulder pain. Massage kneads away tension and painful muscle spasms, gently encouraging relaxation and increasing circulation. Improved circulation can cleanse tissues of irritating waste products that contribute to pain. Oxygen and nutrients flow to tight or injured areas, helping to reduce discomfort and promote healing. Therapeutic massage can also powerfully support additional treatments for neck pain such as chiropractic, physical therapy or other medical care.

There are many different massage techniques. Some focus primarily on relaxing the muscles, while some help heal ligaments or release trigger points in the neck and shoulder area. Others relieve pain by working with fascia, the connective tissue that covers and connects the muscles. All these techniques work to decrease pain, promote flexibility and help lower the possibility of future injury.

The role of alignment Problems with joint alignment are a common component in pain and reduced mobility in the neck.

Massage relieves muscle tension that can contribute to alignment problems. It can also stretch and lengthen shortened tissues, helping to restore mobility. Massage can increase the effectiveness of other treatments such as chiropractic adjustments, which often proceed more easily and hold longer when combined with a relaxing massage.

38

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5 Minute Management Course Lesson 1:

A priest offered a Nun a lift...

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg..... The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 2 :

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 'Me first!

Me first!' says the admin clerk.. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world..' Poof! She's gone. 'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas, and the love of my life.' Poof!

He's gone. 'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.

Con’t on page 44

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July 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/21/12 1:54 PM Page 44

5 Minute Management Course Lesson 3:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Lesson 4 :

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

A turkey was chatting with a bull 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. It's full of nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch..

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:

Bull POOP! might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there...

Continued on page 58....

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BAR & RESTAURANT

Guide.....

July 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/21/12 1:55 PM Page 46

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July 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/21/12 1:55 PM Page 48

Advertise Your Bar or Restaurant

Call: 663 061 669

48

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INDIA IIND NDI ND N DIA D DI IA LU LUC LUCIA UC U CIA CI C IA IIndian nd diian C Cuisine uiisiine iin n An Andalucia And nd daalluciia

Cocktail Recipe Blood Orange & Campari Cocktails

Treat friends or just yourself to this refreshing orange aperitif

Good Quality Quality, y, Greatt VValue alue Calle Jerez Urb. T Torrenueva or orrenue o va

Tel: T el: 951 40 76 95 Golden Sun

Traditional Chinese Food. Takeaway menu.

Special lunch menu only €6.95.

Open 12.00-16.00 and 18.30-24.00 everyday.

Riviera Commercial. Tel: 952 931 737

52

Ingredients: • Ice •750ml blood orange or orange juice •750ml soda water •1 orange for slicing and decorating glasses •180ml Campari Method Fill 6 highball glasses with ice.

Pour over the Campari, followed by the blood orange juice. Top up with the soda and serve decorated with the orange slices.

Mama Nostra

Harrys Sports Bar

Traditional Italian food & grill. Fresh pasta, wood burning pizza oven, Open every day 12 - 11. Riviera Commercial, Tel: 952 934 496

All live sports and premiere league football. Six TV’s and big screen. Full menu, Sunday roast and homemade tapas. Large sun terrace. Open 10amlate, seven days a week.

Upstairs Los Jarales, Calahonda

July 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/21/12 1:56 PM Page 53

July 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/21/12 1:56 PM Page 54

Moroccan summer vegetable tagine Serves 4 Preparation 20 mins Cook time 35 mins Ingredients:

• 2 tbsp olive oil • 1 onion, finely chopped • 2 garlic cloves, crushed •1 tsp each grated ginger and ground cinnamon •2 tsp ground cumin • A large pinch of saffron • 200g (7oz) each of baby carrots and courgettes • 1 tbsp harissa paste • 200g (7oz) baby new potatoes • 2 baby leeks, finely sliced • 1 x 400g can chopped tomatoes • 1 tbsp preserved lemon, roughly chopped • 250ml (9fl oz) vegetable stock • A small handful each of chopped mint and coriander leaves • 100g (3½oz) green beans, halved • A small handful of green olives & Couscous to serve

Method:

1) Heat the oil in a large saucepan. Add the onion and garlic, cooking gently until soft.

2) Add the ginger, cinnamon, cumin and saffron and stir-fry for 1-2 minutes.

3) Cut the carrots and courgettes in half lengthways and add with the harissa paste, potatoes, leeks, tomatoes, preserved lemon and stock. Simmer, covered, for 30 minutes, or until the vegetables are almost tender.

4) Add most of the herbs, green beans, olives and a little more stock if needed, and cook until the beans are just tender. Scatter over the rest of the herbs and serve with the couscous

54

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Iglú Chill Lounge Centro Comercial El Pilar, Km 168 Cta. N340 29680 Estepona, Malaga

Tel: 679 435 315 Email: chill@iglubar.com www.iglubar.com

relaxrelajaenjoydisfrutaloungesalónparadiseparaiso experienceexperienciadestinationdestinoheavencielo dreamssueñostranquillitytranquilidadtimetiempo

MARBELLA

CHILL LOUNGE

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5 Minute Management Course Lesson 5:

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realise how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. ..

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the story: (1) Not everyone who poops on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of the brown stuff is your friend.

(3) And when you're in deep do-do, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

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HA,HA,HE,HE...

LASTING MEMORIES: With all the sadness and trauma of today’s world, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person which almost went unnoticed. Last week, Larry La Prise, the man who wrote “The Hokey Cokey,” died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started…

DIRECTIONS:A couple were touring Ireland by car. They get lost near Dublin so they stop and ask a local for directions...

"Excuse me, do you know the quickest way into town?" the driver asks.

"Are you walking or driving?" The local says.

"Driving" says the driver.

"Ah, that'll be the quickest way then."

POST! Paddy got a letter in the post this morning. It landed on the floor, says on the envelope DO NOT BEND. He’s still wondering how to pick it up!

LET THERE BE LIGHT: Man making love to a 30 stone woman. He says "Can we have the light switched off?" She said "Why? Do you find me repulsive?" He said " No….it’s burning my bum".

K.F.S K. F.S {

Kennedy K ennedy F Financial inancial S Services er vices

25 y years ears e experience xperience Ov erseas P ension Specialists Overseas Pension F ree no obliga tion consulta tion Free obligation consultation

HAVE HA VE Y YOU OU ALREAD ALREADY QROPS? Y DONE A QR OPS? OR THINKING OF DOING ONE? If you have transferred you UK pension to a QROPS or are thinking of doing so, then you should consider that tax situation on the inco me you receive. income Are you paying tax on the income from you yourr QROPS? or if you would like a tax free income from your QROPS pens ion in the future then you pension should consider a Brooklands QROPS. Did you know that there are QROPS where the inco me is TAX TAX FREE? income That could mean a saving of hundreds if not thousands of pounds per year year..

Is that money better off off in your pocket?

To T o find out more and how you could benefit email: admin@kennedyfinancialservices.com or go to: www www.kennedyfinancialservices.com .kennedyfinancialservices.com complete the FREE ASSESSMENT form.

Contact Kennedy Financial Services on 951 206 138/139 or contact David on 678 035 992 Apto de Correos 129, 29100 COIN, Málaga 62

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Castaway...

One day a man, who had been stranded on a desert island for over ten years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon. "It's certainly not a ship", he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft. Suddenly, emerging from the surf comes a drop dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.

She approaches the stunned guy and says to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"

"Ten years," replies the stunned man.

With that she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!!"

"And how long has it been since you've had a sip of bourbon?" she asks him.

Trembling the castaway replies, "Ten years."

She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him. He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says, "WOW, that's absolutely fantastic!"

At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man seductively and asks, "And how long has it been since you've played around?"

With tears in his eyes, the guy falls to his knees and sobs, "Oh good Lord! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too?"

GARDEN CENTER L I N D AV I S TA

Ctra de Cadiz, Km171,29670, San Pedro de Alcantara, Behind McDonalds in San Pedro. Tel; 952785206 64

CLMŠ2008

HU GE RA NGE OF: POT S lG ARD E N TO OLS lPLA NT S FLOW ERS & S HRU B S lG A RDEN FU RNI TU RE lG A R D E N O R N A M E N TS

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July 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/21/12 4:31 PM Page 66

7th July: Gloria Gaynor and Sister Sledge live at the Hotel Puente Romano tickets 648 780 781.

14th July: George Benson Plays Auditorio de Marbella. La Cantera.

16th July: Roger Hodgson - Former Supertramp Frontman live at the Auditorio de Marbella. La Cantera.

20th July: Bryan Ferry Concert @ Puente Romano Tennis Club, Marbella tickets available at the Tennis Club of Puente Romano Hotel or www.ticketmaster.es 22nd July: Tony Bennett at the Auditorio de Marbella. La Cantera.

26th -28 July: Fuengirola pop weekend at bikini beach, just by the Castle, check out www.fuengirolapop.com for more details.

27th July: Christopher Cross at the Auditorio de Marbella. La Cantera.www.ticketmaster.es 29th July: Hugh Laurie at the Auditorio de Marbella. La Cantera. www.ticketmaster.es 30th July: Paul Anka at the Auditorio de Marbella. La Cantera. www.ticketmaster.es Every Monday: 1st Coin Brownies meet 5pm-6.30pm at El Centro Nazareno in Coin. Suitable forages 7-10 years. Great fun for the girls. To enquire about places contact www.1stcoinbrownies.info Every Monday & Friday: Summer market at Benahavis every monday and friday evening from 6pm Every Tuesday: Every 2nd Tuesday is Jill’s Craft Club at the Bistro, Sierra Gorda, Coin from 10.30am. Learn how to make all sorts of crafts.

Every Tuesday: The Costa Women Coffee Club meet every second Tuesday at 10am – 12.30pm for coffee, chats and other activities and is a social group designed to get ladies of all ages together. It’s best to join the group via Facebook or contact Emma on 608 408 771 Every Tuesday: Mum & Baby Pilates class at 11am at the San Roque International Nursery, Sotogrande with stimulating toys, ball pool and much more. www.pilatesparati.es Every Wednesday: Mums and Tots group in Coin will meet every Wednesday 9.30am-11.30am at Educanima Ball Park (opposite Mercadona). Play facilities for the kids and cafe for the parents. All welcome from any area and €1.50 per hour with monitors. Make friends whilst the kids play safely.

Every Thursday: The Ladies that Lunch group meets every second Thursday at 10am – 12.30pm for coffee, chats and other activities and is a social group designed to get ladies of all ages together. The group meets at various venues inland and it’s best to join the group via Facebook or contact Emma on 608 408 771 Every Thursday: Market at Calypso, Calahonda Every Thursday: Pilates Stroller workout class on the Torreguadiaro Beachfront at 11am. This is a post natal workout for Mums along with their little ones in their stroller, walking exercises and Pilates pitstops. www.pilatesparati.es Every Saturday: Costa All Stars Cheerleader classes now running Coin at Aqua Gym in La Trocha. All ages in one class from 10.30am-12pm. Call Vanessa on 677 493 280 to reserve a place and info.

Every Saturday: The Wildside Forest School for Kids held every Saturday. 10am-12pm for aged 4-7 years and 1-3pm for 7-10 year olds. Two hour classes for children in nature. Tree rubbings, building a camp, safety, insects etc. See www.wildsidesurvivaleurope.com for info.

Every Saturday and/or Sunday: The Interactive Museum of Music in Malaga (MIMMA) holds MUSICAL LEARNING ACTIVITIES for kids every weekend. These include theatre, workshops, story telling and more. Saturday, Sunday and holidays at 12 noon. Just €3 entry which includes the activity and guided tour of the museum.

Every Sunday: At the Hippodrome from 9am - 2pm FAMA have a car boot sale.

Every Sunday: There is a market every Sunday in the Marbella Marina (Puerto Deportivo de Marbella) on the Teresa Zabell Pier from 12:00-18:00 Every Sunday: Traditional Sunday lunch at Santiago del Calvario, Alhaurin, Roast beef, Lamb Pork, or chicken with fish and Vegetarian options available.

Every Sunday: Barbeque night at Riviera Grand Palms Cyber Cafe, from 6pm, Families welcome, loads of home cooked food from 7€, Calle Sirocco 370 Phase 7 Urb. Riveria del Sol, follow the signs from the lady in the bath, booking advised Tel 952 932 112.

Las Casitas: Entertainment: Sunday: David Mairs - Keyboard/Guitar/ Vocals - Tuesday: Sean Muray - Irish Guitar Vocals - Wednesday: Franki B - (Heatwave) Soul Motown - Friday: Karaoke Sunday Lunch: 1:00pm - 10:30pm. See Page 53 for more details...

What’s On

Guide

If you have an event, fundraiser or anything else you would like mentioned please let us know… email: edititor@costalinkmagazine.com or phone

+ 34 951 216 131 or +34 663 061 669

66

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July 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/21/12 4:31 PM Page 68

Marble Floor Polishing Before

After

Free advice on how to care for your floors at

www.marblefloor.info

Phone Paul 654 589 218

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Things you don’t want to hear in the middle of an operati oN...

• “Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.”

• “Someone call the caretaker - we're going to need a mop.”

• “Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness!”

• “Spot! Spot! Come back with that! Bad Dog!” • “Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?”

• “Hand me that...uh...that...uh...thingie.”

• “Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.”

• “Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?”

• “Uh Oh, there go the lights again...”

• “You know, there's big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy's got two of them.”

• “Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!”

• “Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.”

• “Anyone see where I left that scalpel?”

• “This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?”

• “Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donor card?”

• “Don't worry; I think it's sharp enough.”

• “FIRE!!! Everyone get out of here!”

Van V an Hire Hire

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The Tale of Two Business Men Two businessmen in the centre of Perth were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new shop...

As yet, the shop wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up.

One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some pensioner is going to walk by, put their face to the window, and ask what we're selling."

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious old woman walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked, "What are you selling here?"

One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling a**-holes."

Without skipping a beat, the old dear said, “Must be doing well... Only two left."

72

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Dear Costa Link,

I am a sailor in the merchant navy. My parents live in South London and one of my sisters, who lives in Brixton, is married to a guy from Liverpool.

My Father and Mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my two sisters, who are prostitutes. I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Wormwood Scrubs for the rape & murder of a teenage boy in 1994, the other currently being held in Wandsworth on remand centre on charges of incest with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who indeed is still a part time ‘working girl’ in a brothel, however, her time there is limited as she has recently been infected with an STD. We intend to marry as soon as possible and are currently looking into the possibility of opening our own brothel with my fiancé utilising her knowledge of the industry working as the manager.

I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, it would at least get them off the streets and hopefully the heroin. My problem is this: I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family and of course I want to be totally honest with her.

Should I tell her about my brother-in-law being a scouser?

74

666 089 427

private buyer

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ocal Info ---

Emergency Numbers

Central number for Fire, Police & Ambulance National Police Local Police Guardia Civil dica

112 091 092 062

Medical

Emergency 061 Ambulance Marbella 902 505 061 Ambulance Coin 952 453 267

Health Centres

Town Halls Marbella 952 761 100 San Pedro 952 453 020 La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208 Fuengirola 952 589 300 Estepona 952 801 100

Fire Brigade Emergency number 080 Marbella 952 774 349 Estepona 952 804 483 Fuengirola 952 461 046

Markets

Consulates 952 952 952 952 952 952 952

352 475 226 604 212 226 474

300 108 373 383 442 590 891

Tourist Information Marbella Coin Estepona Fuengirola San Pedro 76

Bus Stations Marbella 952 764 400 Coin 952 450 366 San Pedro 952 781 396 Estepona 952 800249 For a list of complete times www.andalucia.com/travel/bus Train Timetables 902 240 202 Airports Malaga 952 048 844 Gibraltar 956 773 026

Marbella 952 769 946 Coin 952 452 767 San Pedro 952 787 700

British Ireland Denmark Sweden Germany France U.S.A

Transport

952 771 442 952 822 818 952 822 818 952 467 457 952 785 252

Monday - Marbella (fairground site on east side) Tuesday - Fuengirola (fairground near Los Boliches) Wednesday - Estepona (Avda.

Juan Carlos) La Cala - Feria ground Thursday - San Pedro (Recinto Ferial) Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama) Friday - Alhaurin el Grande (Bar Aquamania) Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano Pineda) La Cala - Feria ground.

Sunday - Puerto Estepona

(Marina)

Cinemas

All the Cinemas listed below show films in English as well as Spanish. Call first to check what is showing that week.

Marbella: Cinesur Plaza del Mar 952 766 941 La Ca単ada 902 333 231 Puerto Banus: Gran Marbella 952 810 077 Coin: La Trocha 951 315 039 Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221 622

Chemists 24 hour chemist Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz Km 194. Marbella.

Tel: 952 83 25 89

Taxis Marbella Taxis 952 774 488 Mijas Costa Taxis 952 476 593

Diary Dates 4th July - Independence Day 15th & 16th July - VIRGN DEL CARMEN ANDALUCIA: The Virgen del Carmen is the patron saint of fishermen, and the statue is taken from her church in a procession through the streets of her town, and then goes around the harbour to bless the fishing boats.

Places where you can see this fiesta Estepona, Fuengirola and Marbella.

if you would like to sponsor this page please call 663 061 669

July 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/21/12 2:00 PM Page 77

July 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/21/12 2:00 PM Page 78

Strange but true...

The major medical studies grab the spotlight in the media, but some of the best solutions to health problems are simple, little, and often unusual things. Check out this list to see how easy it can be to cure yourself.

Change Your Name: People with "positive" initials—ones that spell out things like J.O.Y. or W.O.W.—live nearly 4 1/2 years longer than people with neutral initials. D.U.D.'s and A.S.S.'s live nearly 3 years less. Other initials that may shorten life: I.L.L. and D.E.D. Use the First Cubical: After analyzing 51 public loo’s, experts found that the cubical closest to the toilet door consistently had the lowest bacteria levels (and the most toilet paper!). The first cubical probably sees less traffic because it's near the door and people want privacy. And when you're finished, stand before you flush. When toilets are flushed, a fine mist of water containing contagious bacteria sprays up. You can catch intestinal bugs and hepatitis from it. YUCK, YUCK, YUCK… Splint a Broken Arm with a Magazine: To make an impromptu cast, place your wrist palmdown on top of a thick magazine. Roll the magazine into a U-shaped cradle and secure it with tape, an ace bandage, or long strips torn from a shirt. Unfortunately not the Costa Link, it has to be an A4 magazine...

Scratch the Other Limb: For itchy skin under a cast, try scratching the same place on the other arm or foot. This may trick your brain into thinking you're scratching the real itch. look out for more strange but true health facts next month.....

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July 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/21/12 2:00 PM Page 80

S TA R S I GN S

A look at what's in store for you during July.....

Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

Aries

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Capricorn you’re sign is challenging Mars this month. Mars in your sign from July 3rd to 22nd may cause a buildup of tension and frustration as you struggle to assert your will power. Others might see this as aggressive energy so they may respond in a defensive manner. The harder you push your desires onto others, the stronger they will react. I know you are having a rough time of it this year; this is being caused by Uranus & Pluto over your sign. Unfortunately this Mars transit aggravates those challenging longer-term transits. With the Mars transit from July 16th to 19th, people in positions of authority may give you a hard time as you try to get ahead so keep this in mind if you face a brick wall. It may be better to find an alternative route or simply keep to yourself and focus on working hard behind the scenes for a few more weeks.

Aquarius you are just lucky in the stars this month with Jupiter in your sign. Don’t let this time go to waste because there is a great opportunity to make money on investments and all sorts of financial deals. Your personal relationships can be enriched by your positive attitude and sociability, as can your own personal growth and self esteem. Your love life is still benefiting from a Venus, which lasts up until July 10th, and this is also a great omen for making money on top of the Jupiter transit. Venus, Mercury and Uranus on July 4th makes this day in particular an excellent one for socialising as there could be some very pleasant encounters and a few surprises. Add to this Mars from July 3rd to 22nd which makes you more energetic, passionate and very attractive to others. This is a winning and success time for you. Push hard and aim high in all areas of life.

Pisces, Venus is still passing though your sign and will lasts up until July 10th. Venus rules love and money so you may have been going through a rough patch in these areas, especially in the final weeks of last month when Venus was retrograde. Venus will tend you push you harder to achieve peace and harmony in your relationships, and you may feel pressure from your loved ones to engage more openly and have some fun with them. It is time to lighten up and smile there is a special configuration on July 4th, which will help you come out of your shell. Mercury, Venus and Uranus all combine to bring exciting conversation, stimulating social engagements and a creative spark. It’s also a passionate area of the sky and the influence of Uranus can lead to some pleasant but unexpected surprises in your love life.

Aries you’ve been having it tough this year but fear not Jupiter is coming to the rescue this July meaning things are really looking up. Some good luck is coming your way and you should be feeling more hopeful and optimistic about the future. This is a growth phase but you will have to fight to make progress because Mars is opposite your sign from July 3rd to 22nd. You can expect some opposition along the way but will have the energy and fighting spirit to succeed, especially from July 15th to 19th with Mars and Jupiter in the sky. Your social life is in for an intense period up until July 10th. July 4th looks especially favorable for socialising and meeting new and interesting people. The last week of July looks excellent for making big plans. You will be looking at the larger picture and have very positive thoughts and communications to facilitate great changes in your life.

Taurus

Taurus you have a busy month ahead with Mercury making an appearance in your sky. This started late last month and continues until July 7th. Mercury is slowing down and maybe causing some tension in your communications. However Mercury and Venus being aligned on July 4th at least gives you this day to enjoy socialising and some light hearted and friendly chats. The more troublesome side of Mercury comes from July 23rd lasting into next month because Mercury is retrograde. This increases the chances of scattered thinking due to being so busy and hurried. Arguments or misunderstandings are also more likely during this period especially around July 28th with the Sun conjoining with Mercury in the sky. This is not the best time to ask for a raise from the boss, or to make important decisions

Gemini

Gemini you are in for an exceptionally good month ahead with lucky Jupiter passing through your sign. Your love life should be blooming right now with the help of Venus this lasts up until July 10th, so make the most of it. Venus also rules money and with the combined effects of Jupiter and the eclipse, now is the time to enjoy the fruits of your past labors. The story gets even better with Mars help between July 3rd to 22nd giving more personal effectiveness, confidence and courage. You should be getting the right kind of attention from partners and other admirers, and this combined influence is also excellent for stimulating your creative abilities. What an amazing time you are going to have this summer, you really should enjoy this hectic month and take the initiative and some risks because these are truly wonderful stars.

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Cancer

Leo

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio

Sagittarius

Cancer troublesome Mars will be a force to deal with from July 3rd to 22nd. You will be feeling a burning desire to assert yourself no matter the cost. Sick and tired of the dramas in your life you just want to lash out and break free. This feeling of frustration is particularly strong in you right now because of the longer-term transits you have had to put up with this year. You are getting hammered by Uranus and Pluto at the moment, they are bringing heavy-duty changes, you may be finding difficult to manage.

There will be a tendency to react in abrupt or rebellious ways which you will have to be careful of, because the more you buck the system, more stress and tension will be applied. Be especially wary of making your situation worse from July 16th to 19th with Mars opposite Uranus and Pluto in the sky.

Leo you have lots going on this month! Setting the stage is a very lucky Jupiter transit all month. Meaning you’re really optimistic and can expand your horizons, grow in wealth and experience. You still have Venus in your sign up until July 10th so the start of this month will be especially fortunate for money matters and you can expect lots of love and warm feelings in all your relationships. A new relationships started now would be solidly based on mutual love a respect. Next you get Mars from July 3rd to 22nd.

This is a great energy boost and also a fantastic time for matters of the heart. As if this wasn’t enough to keep you busy, Mercury passes through your sign from June 26th to July 7th upping the tempo of your life. This is an excellent omen for making lasting commitments in relationships, and also for making wise long term investments. You will have a good eye for quality and value.

Virgo you have Jupiter in your sign all this month giving you a push to get ahead in life. Jupiter gives you the urge to get more, to expand your life by traveling or learning. This means that it doesn’t come easy, it may push you out of your comfort zone. The key is to focus on a certain goal and not to take on too much don’t overestimate your abilities or reduce your effectiveness by taking on too many projects. Venus is in your skies until July 10th meaning you will have to be especially careful not to blow the budget in the first part of this month. Venus and Jupiter both making stressful aspects can bring feelings of greed and a lack of self-discipline. The same goes for love relationships where you may be feeling much more needy of affection, but if you lower your standards to get satisfaction then it could backfire.

Libra you have Venus in combination with Mercury up until July 10th. This is just perfect for sharing good feelings so get out there to socialise. This friendly energy culminates on July 4th when Mercury and Venus both positively aspect Uranus, which activated one of your long term transits this year, the changes at home, in relationships or work will force you out of your comfort zone but on the positive side it won’t be boring and will lead to greater self awareness and new experiences. Mars passes through your sign from July 2nd to 22nd giving a great boost to your energy levels and drive to succeed. Up till July 8th, this super sexy combination of Mercury, Venus and Mars means that you will be white hot, very amorous and most highly attractive to all. You can use this to your advantage in all areas of life, as other people will really be drawn to you and want to hear about your life and what you want.

Scorpio Mercury has two separate transits through your sign in July 2012. The first transit from June 26th to July 7th has mercury moving forward. The second pass starts on July 23rd with Mercury moving in retrograde. There will be differences in how these transits work, but generally Mercury brings increased pace to your life and causes rushed or scattered thinking. During the first pass you do get some help from Mercury and Venus on July 4th, which will allow for more harmonious communications. There should be less friction and this would be an ideal day for socialising and having some fun. The second pass later in the month is more problematic. The Sun and Mercury will increase the possibility of arguments, especially with those in your life with some power or authority over you. Better to back down on this day and let them think they have won.

Sagittarius you still have a few months of the long term Saturn transit use this time as a very steadying influence this will help you focus on strengthening your personal authority and work hard on reaching your longer-term goals. Venus opposite your sign from July 25th to August 8th will activate your Saturn transit, especially around July 31st. This transit will bring into focus those areas of your life, which need some attention, areas of your love life, and personal finances that have not been going so well. The negatives may be brought to the surface, but this is not a bad thing. It means that you can make great progress and find happiness and satisfaction. It could bring closer bonding with loved ones, or a more responsible attitude to how you spend money. This is a good time to commit to relationships or make sensible investments.

July 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/21/12 2:01 PM Page 82

NEWS

RELEASE

Park Holidays UK, Coghurst Hall, Ivyhouse Lane, Hastings TN35 4NP T: 01424 751185 W: www.ParkHolidaysUK.com Issued by PR consultancy Jon J Boston Associates. T: 01768 895225 E: jon@jjbpr.co.uk Expats home-in on a property stake in Britain Low cost, high specification leisure homes in Britain are proving an irresistible lure for growing numbers of expats in the Mediterranean, a major holiday parks group reports. Park Holidays UK says that many sales of caravan holiday homes and lodges - starting from just ÂŁ10,000 - are now being made to Britons living abroad. Such properties allow them to enjoy the best of both worlds by providing virtual year-round access to the UK whenever they choose, even at short notice, with no advance arrangements. The company, which owns 22 coastal parks in Southern England, says that staying closer to family and friends is often cited as the main reason for buying a second home in Britain.

But also heading the list of benefits for many is that a UK base allows them to escape the discomfort of searing summer temperatures in the Mediterranean. Some also say that they enjoy the quieter atmosphere of the British countryside when Spanish resorts are at their busiest during the main holiday season. A holiday home in Britain also allows expats to return home for a host of other personal reasons, some of which may be connected with receiving regular or emergency medical treatment. According to Park Holidays UK director Tony Clish, many people say they find that having somewhere to return to in the UK can help make an expat lifestyle truly idyllic: "One of the most compelling reasons often given by buyers is that they miss regular contact with friends and family - and especially fast-growing grandchildren," said Tony. "Also, relentless heat doesn't suit everyone, especially some more elderly people who find themselves forced to spend large amounts of time indoors in order to stay comfortable. "Some also point out that the character of many Spanish towns and villages changes, and not always for the better, when crowds of tourists arrive for their holidays.

"A second home in the UK means that they can enjoy less ferocious summers in a more gentle environment, but still benefit from southern Europe's warmer springs and autumns," adds Tony. Health issues, he reports, are also behind the boom in expat holiday home sales: "Those with medical conditions often say they find it easier to talk with a British practitioner when they need help, and prefer to receive treatment in a more familiar environment," he says.

Modern two and three bedroom caravan holiday homes at Park Holidays UK, says Tony, cost just a fraction of a holiday cottage. However, he states, it's not just the low initial outlay which makes the case so convincingly. Each home comes fully equipped and furnished, and there is no council tax to pay. Neither will there be any of the high and often unexpected maintenance bills which come with brick-built properties, and no gardening to attend to or to pay someone else to maintain. In addition, expat owners can earn a second income by sub-letting the home during the weeks when they are abroad, with all arrangements taken care of by Park Holidays UK "As well as the practical reasons given by buyers, there is also the comfort of knowing that you still have a base in the UK whenever you want or need it," said Tony. "Far from feeling cut off from Britain, the owner of a caravan holiday home or lodge knows that a second homecoming is always just a few hours' flight away!" he commented. More information about the group's parks is available from www.ParkHolidaysUK.com.

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GOLF

TIPS&TRICKS T PS&TRI THE CHIP SHOT

and the bad chip will be the putt you can’t miss.

1. Never chip to get close, always chip to get the ball in the cup. There are many players who see the chip shot to be played so close to the hole that you cant miss the putt but if you play to sink the chip you will work harder to pick the right line and the right weight. To become good at the chip shot your target must be that, a good chip will be in the hole

2. The chip is a shot that can be played with a selection of different golf clubs from your bag, golfers will often have one club that they prefer to chip with using it from all lies. A simple rule to remember is that a more lofted club will give more flight and less roll. To give some guides for choice when selecting the club to chip with:Lob Wedge 75% flight 25% roll

Pitching Wedge 50% flight 50 % roll

7 Iron 30% flight 70% roll 3. Hit down at a ball when you play a chip shot. From the side of a green many golfers try to get under the ball when chipping which reduces the roll on the ball.

When you set up to play a chip shot, set the ball towards your right heel and place your weight more onto your left side. Set your hands towards the base of the rubber on the grip. With the butt of your club set ahead of the crease In your left trouser leg, swing down and through the golf ball using your putting stroke, keeping your hands ahead of the club head not allowing your wrist to break.

4. What you want from a chip is a shot that lifts above the longer grass landing on the green, then running towards the cup like a putt. This is why you must use the putting stroke and practice no body movement when playing a chip. When you feel you need body movement in a chip shot you are to far away from the green to play a chip and should be playing another type of shot.

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July 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/21/12 2:01 PM Page 86

Puzzle It Out

Solutions on page 96

Crossword Across: 9 Fortified wine (7) 10 Boorish (7) 11 Collective farm (7) 12 Commit (7) 13 Card game (9) 15 Fifty-eight in Roman numerals (5) 16 Photographic equipment (7) 19 Not the sixth (7) 20 Form of Japanese poetry (5) 21 Never stopping (9) 25 Hotel employee (7) 26 Having passed (7) 28 Found in mouths (7) 29 Easing of tensions between nations (7) Down: 1 Cigarettes (slang) (6) 2 Pertaining to a clan or family (6) 3 Hawaiian island (4) 4 Japanese cheer (6) 5 Nighttime footwear (8) 6 European country (10) 7 Relating to Sicily (8) 8 Nagging (8) 14 From first to last (10) 16 Lives together (8) 17 Not on an island (8) 18 Person who is habitually sullen (8) 22 Religious doctrines (6) 23 Crazy (6) 24 Contraptions (6) 27 Fifth book of the New Testament (4)

Sudoku

Brain Teaser You are the bus driver. At your first stop, you pick up 29 people. On your second stop, 18 of those 29 people get off, and at the same time 10 new passengers arrive. At your next stop, 3 of those 10 passengers get off, and 13 new passengers come on. On your fourth stop 4 of the remaining 10 passengers get off, 6 of those new 13 passengers get off as well, then 17 new passengers get on.

What is the color of the bus driver's eyes?

Say What You See...

JOBINJOB 86

HOROBOD

July 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/21/12 2:02 PM Page 87

July 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/21/12 2:02 PM Page 88

F I N A N C I A L Economic & Currency News...

The Spanish Banking Bailout Spain’s banking bail-out may help to pull the country away from the centre of the euro-zone storm for a while.

But it's unlikely that it is the only support that the country will need. The details of the support package for Spanish banks agreed in June are roughly as expected. Up to €100bn will be provided from existing bail-out funds (the EFSF or ESM), with the final amount decided by the European Commission after an assessment of Spanish banks in July.

But both Spain’s own position and the experience of other “bail-outs” raise clear questions over the extent to which the package will address the country’s problems. Although the €100bn figure is over twice the minimum required amount estimated by the IMF, there will be suspicions that the full extent of Spanish banking losses has not yet been uncovered.

Meanwhile, the economic environment of skyhigh unemployment and (still) falling property prices hardly bodes well for banks’ future profitability. At the same time, the poor economic outlook will also maintain concerns that Spain will at some point require a Government bail out too. Although Spain’s public debt to GDP ratio is relatively low at around 70%, the banking package will raise it by around 10%. Meanwhile, weak economic growth will continue to hamper efforts to bring the budget deficit down. Against this background, Spain’s fiscal position may soon look rather less favourable relative to the other bail-out recipients.

Commercial Property in Spain Office rental values in Spain are forecast to fall by around 15% over 2012-13 as occupier demand weakens further. But on a city level, Madrid is exposed to greater downside risks than the rest of Spain. This is down to supply-side factors and the fact that Madrid experienced the larger boom.

Office rental values in Spain have already fallen significantly from their 2008 highs. However, with GDP contracting again in the final quarter of last year and the government still struggling to cut the budget deficit, Spain appears to be on the verge of another deep recession. Indeed, analysts expect GDP to fall by 1% this year and by 3% in 2013, and that employment will fall by perhaps 4% to 5%. If that is correct, Spanish office rental values will almost certainly decline further

Written by our financial expert James Alexander.

If you would like fully regulated independent financial advice please contact us: sales@costalinkmagazine.com or on 663 061 669.

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Do we have a soution???

Everyone has been waiting with baited breath as to what will happen with Greece, well the elections have taken place and the centre right democracy party under Antonis Samoras has taken power and will have to form a coalition government, quickly!! Even this has no guarantees that this will work, there are even talks of speaking with SYRIZA the anti austerity party to see what input they can have in this new government. The election will not fix the problems of Greece, the country is effectively bankrupt, they will need emergency funding from either the IMF or the EU in order for them to supply their citizen with the basics. The hospitals are running out of medicines and pain killers, drug companies want their cash upfront.

The euro has gained a little – how long will this be the case? If Greece fails to form a coalition government quickly, or falls out with its bedfellow expect more uncertainty within Greece. The markets are also casting a beady eye over Spain and Italy’s finances’, we saw borrowing cost rise last week to over 7%, this level is unsustainable.

The G20 meet this week on the 18th if June, top of the agenda will be Greece, Spain, Italy and France – could France be in for a wake-up call? Even will all this uncertainty the Euro has held its own, Sterling does not seem to be on the move either. This is the time where you need to be speaking with our FX partner, Moneycorp for expert free guidance on the markets and the best time to trade, call Moneycorp.

Tel. +34 951 319 700 costalink@monycorp.com Please mention coastalink when contacting Moneycorp.

July 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/21/12 2:02 PM Page 90

to the batmobile...

With upcoming release of the new Batman Film – The Dark Knight Rises this month, we thought we would look at some of the Caped Crusader’s rides over the years; The First Batmobile was a fairly “normal” looking convertible Cord used in the comics in 1941. After a number of comic book changes, perhaps the best known batmobile was the 1966 car driven by Adam West in the TV series.

The Car started out as a Lincoln Concept Car that cost over $250,000 it was used in the Hollywood film It Started with A Kiss and was then sold for $1. It was converted into the car we know today. And you can actually buy a real brand new replica today for around 150,000€ In 1989 and 1992 Michael Keaton’s Batmobile was built around two Chevrolet Impalas. It was designed to combine brute force looks with 1930’s image – it is one of the most popular Batmobiles and a replica sold for 620,000€ recently.

The 1998 Batmobile driven by Val Kilmer was designed by Barbara long and was inspired by The Jaguar D Type and the Delahaye 165 – it was destroyed in the film, Batman and Robin

by The Riddler.

The Tumbler used by Christian Bale in Batman begins, The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises, Designed to look like a cross between a Lamborghini and a tank, the tumbler features a grapple and hook along with a central lowering foot for quick 180 degree turns, and the driver’s seat is usually on the left moves in Attack Mode to the Centre.

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July 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/21/12 2:03 PM Page 92

The Jokes page

Jokes page

An Englishman, a Scotsman, a Norwegian, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Jap, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Greek, a Russian, an Estonian, a German, an Italian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Czech, a Brazilian, a Canadian, an Argentinian, a Korean and a Swiss man walked into a pub.The bouncer says "Sorry......

I can’t let you in without a Thai".

I woke up this morning at 8 and could smell something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn’ t know what to do. Then I remembered Wetherspoons serve breakfast until 11.30.

Reverse Psychology?

Iris, my sister-in-law, is a long distance lorry driver. She decided to get a dog for protection for the long days and nights that she was away from home. As she studied a likely candidate, the breeder told her, 'I must warn you that he doesn't like men.'

'Perfect', Iris thought and promptly bought the dog.

Some time later as she was leaving a transport café, two men approached her, in the car park, and Iris watched to see how her new 'bodyguard' would react. It soon became clear that the breeder hadn't been joking, because as the men got closer, the dog ran under the nearest car and hid.

92

After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were going to commit suicide yesterday.

But strangely enough…. once she killed herself I started to feel a lot better.

So I thought…

Sod it….

I’ll soldier on.

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic, "It died."

After he works on it for a few minutes, it's idling smoothly.

She says, "What's the story?"

He replies, "Just crap in the carburettor."

She says, "How often do I have to do that?"

Due to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father died, Robert decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So he went to a singles bar and he searched until he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away. "Right now, I'm just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but within a month or two, my father will pass and I'll inherit over 20 million dollars."

The woman went home with Robert.

Four days later she became his stepmother.

July 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/21/12 2:04 PM Page 93

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TREVOR THE TROUT has to compete in the 100m sprint ďƵƚ ŚĞ ŚĂƐ ůŽƐƚ ŚŝƐ ǁĂLJ ƚŽ ƚŚĞ ŽƚŚĞƌ ĐŽŵƉĞƟƚŽƌƐ͘​͘​͘​͘ ĂŶ LJŽƵ ŚĞůƉ Śŝŵ ĮŶĚ ƚŚĞŵ͍​͍​͍

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July 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/21/12 2:04 PM Page 94

July 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/21/12 2:04 PM Page 95

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July 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/21/12 2:04 PM Page 96

Puzzle It Out Solutions FromPages 18 & 82

Just Say What You See Inbetween Jobs Robin Hood

Brain Teaser

The eye color of the reader of this problem.

The first sentence is the key: "You are the bus driver"

Crossword Solution

Trivia Quiz Answers 1) Kingston­Upon­Hull­ 2) Windsor 3) 2 4) Snakes 5) Stilt 6) Seahorse 7) Anglesey 8) Estate­Car 9) Ursula­Andress 10) Lion 11) Exodus 12) Spinach 13) The­Dukes­of­Hazard 14) Knot 15) Peacock 16) India 17) Bradford 18) 15 19) John­F­Kennedy 20) Frogs 21) Moon­River 22) Diamond­Jubilee­–­60­Years 23) Roller 24) Bar 25) 1940’s 26) Cats 27) Kremlin 28) Myleene­Klass 29) Downing­Street 30) TOWIE­–­The­only­way­is­essex

teleweb internet & telephone just got better! tion­for­someone­who­lives here­full­time.­ Do­ you­ have­ a­ wireless internet­ system­ that­ you are­ not­ happy­ with?

Teleweb­ will­ convert­ you over­ to­ their­ service­ at­ no cost.­What­have­you­got­to lose?

HAVE A UK No IN SPAIN!

teleweb – “Pay as you go” internet Teleweb­ Internet­ &­ Telephone,­ has­ been providing­ wireless­ internet­ services­ since 2003,­and­in­that­time,­has­seen­consistent growth­and­added­new­exciting­services­to its­ well­ established­ high­ speed­ 5GHz­ wireless­internet­service.­­ FLEXIBILITY: Because­ you­ do­ not­ need­ a land­line,­you­can­have­internet­on­a­“Pay­as you­go”­system.­There­are­flexible­solutions 96 ranging­from­1­hour­to­a­permanent­connec-

Teleweb­offers­a­telephone system­ (without­ the­ need for­ a­ landline)­ with­ calls from­ 1.8c­ per­ minute.­ It­ is­ just­ like­ a Telefonica­ landline­ without­ the­ wires.­ No need­to­have­your­computer­on­to­make­and receive­ calls.­ Choose­ a­ telephone­ number from­your­home­country­or­just­elect­to­have a­ Malaga­ number.­ This­ system­ will­ work anywhere­in­the­world­with­the­same­low­call costs,­you­just­need­an­internet­connection.­ For­ more­ information­ on­ any­ of­ the­ above, please­ call Teleweb on­ 952­ 833­ 300­ or Email:­­info@teleweb-marbella.­

July 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/21/12 2:04 PM Page 97

July 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/21/12 2:04 PM Page 98

July 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/21/12 2:04 PM Page 99

July 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/21/12 2:04 PM Page 100