Costa link magazine july 2013 by Costalink Magazine

July 2013 No76

READY FOR THE BEACH? See PAGE 6

fun visit tic ge 42

fanta or see s

The worst kept secret on the Costa del Sol

Jokes Kids Page Local Info Horoscopes Puzzles & Quizzes Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s On Guide

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Feeling hot, hot, hot!

Wow what a month we have ahead of us – Sun, Sand Sea and So much else going on! We are really looking forward to the beer festival this month in La Cala, but why do they need to provide 1500 parking spaces there???! Thanks to everyone that went along to the Karting Challenge at Funny Beach to support us, and big congrats to the winners – a team entered by Henry’s Bar, it was a great day out and we all managed to raise some money for Positively Blue and we mustn’t forget a massive thanks to David and Gavin at Medilink for organising the whole event. We would also like to congratulate La Luna in Campo Mijas for their recent award, from trip adviser – 91% of people that have reviewed the restaurant over the last year have given them the maximum of five stars and recommended that others visit – (91%!!!!) That fantastic, and we are cant wait for their weekly summer BBQs starting this month. Time now for a nice cold beer in the sun – enjoy……….

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A Woman’s World

It’s all about us girls!

Fridge Magnets for Women... • “I don’t skinny dip, I chunky dunk.” • “I only have a kitchen because it came with the house.” • “I don’t have hot flushes, I have short, private holidays in the tropics.” • “If it’s not one thing it’s your mother” • “A balanced diet is a bar of chocolate in both hands.” • “I have PMS and ESP. That makes me a bi*ch that knows everything.” • “I gave up jogging because my thighs kept rubbing together and setting my knickers on fire.” • “They lied...hard work has killed loads of people.” • Summer Holidays is a time for parents to learn that teachers are grossly underpaid. • “Born free, now I’m expensive.” Dusty Underwear... One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, “Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in ‘Slim Fast’. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your bottom!” His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded. The next morning the husband took a pair of pants out of his drawer. “What the hell is this?” he said to himself as a little ‘dust’ cloud appeared when he shook them out... “April”, he hollered into the bathroom, “Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?” She replied with a snigger. “It's not talcum powder...it's ‘Miracle Grow!’”

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HOT GOSS!

KATE AND PRINCE WILLIAM'S BABY WILL BE SEEN FOR THE FIRST TIME AS THE FAMILY LEAVE HOSPITAL...

We can’t wait! At the time of going to press we are still awating the baby news.... Kate Middleton and Prince William are due to welcome their first child in mid-July, but thanks to some excellent forward planning we already know when we’ll see the baby royal for the first time. Yeah - take that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. Kate is due to give birth at St. Mary’s hospital in west London, and if all goes according to plan the world will get it’s first greatly anticipated look at the little one on the steps of the hospital.Which is just how the world met William. William will attend the birth, and in the event that he is on duty as a rescue pilot in Wales he will be flown or driven to Kate’s side,“Between now and then he is on and off shift and every attempt will be made to get him there,” a royal source has said reports People.The Queen, Prince Charles and the Middleton’s will be the first to be told the sex of the baby – which has been kept a secret. We’re guessing like a lot of parents-to-be Wills and Kate like surprises. After that the public will be informed of the arrival of the new royal, and Kate and William are mixing royal traditions woth social media.Royal staff will place an announcement signed by Kate’s medical team announcing the birth on to wooden easel outside of Buckingham Palace. It’s the same easel that announced William’s birth. An announcement will then go out on social media – so anyone who’s not walking past Buckingham Palace will know what’s going on too. Apparently, we should also all keep our eyes open for someone from Kensington Palace’s staff leaving the hospital with an envelope…

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HOT GOSS!

HAS TOWIE'S SAM FAIERS BEEN VIOLENT WITH JOEY ESSEX? Something akin to this came up after the

couple's shock breakup was shown in The Only Way Is Marbs a few weeks ago... But now more sources have come forward to claim that Sam Faiers has been getting physical with on-and-off boyfriend Joey Essex. According to sources close to the situation, the rest of the show's cast are well aware of the rumoured violence between the couple, but producers have been cutting out comments and providing a "one sided" account of the relationship. And Joey's family, including Chloe Sims and Frankie Essex, have supposedly been edited unfairly in the process, looking as if they're lashing out at Sam for no reason. Earlier this summer, there were rumours that Sam had become violent towards her boyfriend, an idea supported by the fact that she herself claimed to have hit Joey during one episode of the show. Sam's representatives have yet to respond but we really hope these claims turn out to be false.

KATIE PRICE ON FOURTH PREGNANCY...

Katie Price popped up on last month talking about pregnancy number four and husband number three... Katie revealed that she been suffering from some health issues – in fact it sounds like she’s not enjoying being pregnant at all,“It’s the worst pregnancy I’ve had... lots of problems with being anemic, low platelets, a lot heavier than I was before, but it’s the fourth one so I know what to expect.” At least she has a supportive husband at home to look after her. Katie is convinced that she’s found The One is new husband Kieran Hayler. Speaking about how married life is going Katie said, “Really good, and I have to say, obviously it’s my third marriage, third time lucky, and this one is the one.

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A BUCKET FULL OF SNAILS

A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some important guests. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realised that she didn't have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket to gather some snails. Very grudgingly he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting the snails, he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach. He kept thinking to himself, “Wouldn't it be fantastic if she would just come over and talk to me?” He went back to gathering the snails. All of a sudden he looked up, and the beautiful woman was standing right over him. They started talking and as the minutes turned into hours she invited him back to her place where they ended up spending the night together. At seven o'clock the next morning he woke up and exclaimed, “Oh God, no! My wife's dinner party!” He gathered all his clothes, grabbed his bucket, and ran out the door. He ran all the way back to his apartment and up the stairs. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails. There were snails all down the stairs. Just then the door opened and there, standing in the doorway was his very, very angry wife wondering where he'd been all this time. He looked at the snails all down the steps, then he looked back at her, then back at the snails and said, “Come on guys, we're almost there!”

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WONDERFUL and SO TRUE !! I have a little GPS And when it goes to green I've had it all my life It seems to know instinctively It's better than the normal ones Just when to intervene My GPS is my wife It lists the vehicles just in front And all those to the rear It gives me full instructions And taking this into account Especially how to drive It specifies my gear. "It's sixty k's an hour", it says "You're doing sixty five" I'm sure no other driver Has so helpful a device It tells me when to For when we stop and start leave & lock the car And when to use the brake And tells me that it's never ever It still gives its advice. Safe to overtake It fills me up with counseling It tells me when a light is red Each journey's pretty fraught

So why don't I exchange it And get a quieter sort? Ah well, you see, it cleans the house, Makes sure I'm properly fed, It washes all my shirts and things and - lets me have a shed. Despite all these advantages And my tendency to scoff.... I do wish that once in a while I could turn the darn thing off.

Every Husband and Wife will love this poem!

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TRIVIA QUIZ

1) What type of creature is a Guillemot? 2) Which glands produce white blood cells? 3) Martin Fry and Mark White were members of which 1980’s pop group? 4) What is the name of the riding school based in Austria? 5) What colour is a sari for a Indian wedding? 6) Before Winston Churchill went bald, what colour was his hair? 7) Who brought down Barings Bank? 8) In which year did the Titanic sink? 9) Which gentle water creature is the name of a Florida river? 10) What is a Wessex Saddleback? 11) What nationality was the famous spy Mata Hari – Dutch, Austrian, French? 12) Which East Anglian cathedral has the 2nd highest spire in the UK? 13) Which game can be ‘lawn’ or ‘crown green’? 14) Which 2 continents battle for the Ryder Cup? 15) Through which organ do fish get oxygen? 16) In which decade did Britain join the EEC?

17) What kind of insect is a ‘clouded yellow’? 18) What is prepared in a tannery? 19) On which part of your body would you wear an epaulette? 20) What type of creature is Garfield? 21) Cacti are native to which country? 22) In the proverb, imitation is the sincerest form of what? 23) Caber tossing is associated with which country? 24) Which Michael played Frank Spencer? 25) If it is 12 noon in London, what time is it in Berlin? 26) Which was Daniel Craig’s 2nd Bond film? 27) What name is given to an angle greater than 90 degrees but less than 180 degrees? 28) How many red balls are on the table at the start of a frame of snooker? 29) What is the name of actor Donald Sutherland’s actor son? 30) What is the only English word anagram of ‘wrong’? Answers on page 80

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THE INNOCENCE OF YOUTH

Little Lucy went out into the garden and saw her cat Piddles lying on the ground with its eyes shut and its legs in the air. She fetched her Dad to look at Piddles, and on seeing the cat he said, as gently as he could, “I'm afraid Piddles is dead, Lucy.” “So why are his legs sticking up in the air like that, Daddy?” asked Lucy as she fought back the tears. At a loss for something to say the father replied, “Piddles’' legs are pointing straight up in the air so that it will be easier for Jesus to float down from heaven above and grab a leg and lift Piddles up to heaven.” Little Lucy seemed to take her Piddles death quite well. However, two days later when her father came home from work, Lucy had tears in her eyes and said: “Mummy almost died this morning.” Fearing something terrible had happened the father shook the girl and shouted, “What do you mean Lucy? Tell Daddy!” “Well,” mumbled Lucy, “soon after you left for work this morning I saw mummy lying on the floor with her legs in the air and she was shouting, ‘Oh Jesus!!! I'm coming, I'm coming!!!’ and if it hadn’t been for the milkman holding her down she definitely would have gone, Daddy.”

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What do you call some of the most unlucky named people in Britain? Justin Case, Barb Dwyer and Stan Still. It sounds like a bad joke, but a study has revealed that there really are unfortunate people with those names in the UK. Joining them on the list are Terry Bull, Paige Turner, Mary Christmas & Anna Sasin. And just imagine having to introduce yourself to a crowd as Doug Hole or Hazel Nutt. Retired airman Stan Still, 80, from Cirencester, Gloucestershire, said his name had been "a blooming millstone around my neck my entire life". "When I was in the RAF my commanding officer used to shout, 'Stan Still, get a move on' and roll about laughing," he said. "It got hugely boring after a while." But 59-year-old Rose Bush, from Coventry, West Midlands, said she loved her name. "I always get comments about it but they are always very positive," she said. Implications: Researchers also scoured phone records in the US and found some unlikely names there too. Spare a thought for Anna Prentice, Annette Curtain and Bill Board the next time you sign your name. A string of Americans also have very job-specific names, including Dr Leslie Doctor, Dr Thoulton Surgeon & Les Plack - a dentist in San Francisco. Following this article other people with weird and wonderful names set up a blog here are some of there comments: • “I was named Simon Swindells at birth. It caused no end of ridicule throughout my childhood and teens and I changed my first name by deed poll shortly after turning 18 and changed the surname a few years later.” • “Well, years of ruthless teasing have given way to slightly kinder comments along the lines of” "what a great name". I just wish I had a decent answer to the question: "What were your parents thinking?" Daisy Picking, London.

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What do you call some of the most unlucky named people in Britain? • My father, whose name was Albert Hall, had a lot to answer for when he named my brother Jim. Jim took a pounding whenever PE came round at school. You'd have thought the "Royal" Albert would have been a bit more circumspect in his choice of name for his offspring! David Hall, Scotland. • My name was Susan Frame. I am a lawyer. I met and married Robert who is a banker. His surname is Mee. Now we are Sue Mee, a lawyer, and Rob Mee, a banker - ironic? I have taken no end of stick for this, believe me. Susan Mee, Doncaster • Unfortunately your name doesn't have to have a double meaning to be found continually amusing to others. However, I have found the benefit in adult life is that it is always noticed and remembered and is therefore a great networking "tool". Bill Badger, Essex. • Hi, my mum was Hazel Nutt. Her maiden name was Morrison and she married my father, Peter Nutt. I watched her write out a cheque once with the checkout girl grinning, but my mum was definitely hiding a grin too. I think she loved it. Donald Nutt, Dundee Other hilarious names include…

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OLDER WOMEN... After being married for 44 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, “Forty-four years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black-and-white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25year-old girl.” “Now I have a €1,500,000 home, a €45,000 car, nice big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 69-yearold woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your end of things.” My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed, and watching a 10-inch black and white TV. Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve your mid-life crises!

A Man’s World

DIY VASECTOMY

After having their 11th child, a Scouse couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative was to go home, get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. The Scouser said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me." "Trust me, it will do the job", said the doctor. So the man went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5," at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand. This procedure also works in Birmingham, parts of Essex, inner London, Newcastle, Norfolk and anywhere in Wales.

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Medical Tips

Saturday 15th June saw the return of the annual Positively Blue Karting Challenge held at Funny Beach. Thanks to the support and sponsorship of El Oceano Hotel & Spa, CostaLink Magazine, FDN, Martin’s Hair & Beauty Lounge, Costa Cosmetica, Clinica Medicare, The British Surgical Clinic, Cambridge 800 España and Henrys Bar in La Cala a Fantastic afternoon of racing was enjoyed by all the drivers and the spectators with music and entertainment provided by the very talented Mark Peters from Global Radio.

This year’s event was extremely competitive and there were some serious contenders for the Positively Blue Trophy.... We are delighted to confirm that Henry’s Bar in La Cala took this year’s title in style!

We were extremely pleased with the level of support we received for this event as around 100 spectators attended to cheer on the teams. We are pleased to announce that a final total of €2375.00 was raised and all of this money will go directly to fund the Free screening programme on offer for British men living on the Costa del Sol.

Positively Blue in Conjunction with Clinica Medicare offers access to FREE PSA blood tests for prostate cancer and a full programme of education, information and support for testicular cancer.

For more information about Positively Blue please visit our website: 36

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Health & Well Being

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SUMMER HEALTH

In the warmer, longer, lazier days of summer, the living may not be easy, but your life probably feels less chaotic. Even adults tend to adopt a "school's out!" attitude in summer. That's why this is a perfect time to improve your health in a fashion so seasonally laid back you'll barely notice the effort. To get you started here a few hintâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s and tips to get the bounce back into your over heated stepâ&#x20AC;Ś. 1) GIvE YOUR DIET A BERRY BOOST: If you do one thing this summer to improve your diet, have a cup of mixed fresh berries: blackberries, blueberries, or strawberries - every day. They'll help you load up on antioxidants, which may help prevent damage to tissues and reduce the risks of age-related illnesses. Blueberries and blackberries are especially antioxidant-rich. A big bonus: Berries are also tops in fiber, which helps keep cholesterol low and may even help prevent some cancers. 2) GET DIRTY & STRESS LESS: To improve your stress level, plant a small garden, cultivate a flower box, or if space is really limited, plant a few flower pots - indoors or out. Just putting your hands in soil is "grounding." And when life feels like you're moving so fast your feet are barely touching the stuff, being mentally grounded can help relieve physical and mental stress. 3) FLOSS DAILY: You know you need to, now it's time to start: floss every single day. Do it at the beach (in a secluded spot), while reading on your patio, or when watching TV - and the task will breeze by. Flossing reduces oral bacteria, which improves overall body health, and if oral bacteria is low, your body has more resources to fight bacteria elsewhere. Floss daily and you're doing better than at least 85% of people. 4) GET OUTSIDE TO ExERCISE: Pick one outdoor activity - going on a hike, taking a nature walk, playing games such as tag with your kids, cycling, roller blading, or swimming - to shed that cooped-up feeling of gym workouts.And remember, the family that plays together not only gets fit together - it's also a great way to create bonding time.

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THE IRISHMAN & THE BREATHALYZER

Recently a routine police patrol was parked outside a bar in Dublin, Ireland. After last orders, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity, in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off; it was a fine, dry summer night, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little, and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left. At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road. The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said, “I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken.” “I doubt it,” said the truly proud Irishman. “Tonight I'm the designated decoy!”

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MY CARS BETTER

THAN YOUR CAR

A guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. He rolled down his window and shouted to the driver of the Rolls. "Hey, buddy, that's a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I've got a phone in my Yugo!" The driver of the Rolls looked over and said snobbishly, "Yes, I have a phone." The driver of the Yugo said, "That's great man! Hey, you got a TV in there? You know, I got a TV in the back seat of my Yugo!" The driver of the Rolls, quite irritated by now, replied, "Of course, I have a television. A Roll-Royce is the finest luxury car in the world!" The driver of the Yugo said, "Yes, a very cool car! Hey, you got a bed in there? I got a bed in the back of my Yugo!" The driver of the Rolls, upset that he did not have a bed, sped away and went straight to the dealer, where he promptly ordered a bed to be installed in the back of his Rolls-Royce. The next morning, he returned to pick up his car, and the bed looked superb. It came complete with silk sheets and a brass-trimmed headboard. It was clearly a bed fit for a Rolls-Royce. So the driver of the Rolls began searching for the Yugo. He drove around all day and finally found the Yugo late that night. It was parked, with all the windows fogged up from the inside. He got out and knocked on the window of the Yugo. When there wasn't any answer, he continued knocking and knocking until finally, the owner of the Yugo lowered the window, and stuck his soaking wet head out. "I now have a bed in the back of my Rolls-Royce," the driver of the Rolls stated arrogantly. The driver of the Yugo looked at him narrowly and said, "You got me out of the shower to tell me THIS?!?!

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! ! h g THE ATTACK r r r r ar OF OLD AGE! Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper. Groceries are heavier. And, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!

And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am a lip reader?

I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognise me. I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection. Well, REALLY NOW - even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!

Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the motorway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

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! ! h g THE ATTACK r r r r ar OF OLD AGE!

Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labelling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices? The people who makebathroom scales are pulling the same prank. Do they think I actually 'believe' the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling? I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in there!

Please tell everyone you meet: WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!

Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities.

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Do they REALLY still make those?

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VW have recently announced that they will no longer be making the T2 Kombi – or Camper Van as we know it at the end of this year after a 63 year run – Production ceased in Europe in 1979.

The Indian Hindustan Ambassador started life as a 1955 Morris Oxford, the shape has changed very little over the years, but the engine was replaced in the 1990s and is still in production. It was even imported into England in 1993 but was not a success – wonder why???

Remember the VW Jetta from the late 1980’s? It’s alive and well in China and has been produced since its European demise in 1991.

Datsun are due to make a comeback next year – Nissan is introducing a cheaper marque based around models currently made by LADA! They will be sold in Indonesia, Russia, India and South Africa in 2014. 54

Iranian vehicle manufacturer ICKO are still producing the Peugeot Pars, which is based on the 1987 Peugeot 405, it has been in production since 1999.

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July 2013 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/23/13 3:20 PM Page 56

WARNING

The Assignment: Draw a picture showing what you want to be when you grow up. The Result: Parent Response: Dear Mrs. Jones, I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an pole dancer. I work at B&Q and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week when the unexpected snow storm hit. I told her we sold out of every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the stock room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at B&Q. From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in. Sincerely,

Mrs. Smith

ALWAYS CHECK YOUR KIDS HOMEWORK!

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July 2013 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/23/13 3:20 PM Page 58

VIETNAMESE PRAWN SUMMER ROLLS

Method:

Fresh-tasting rice paper rolls packed with shellfish, light vermicelli noodles, carrots, cucumber and herbs, with a sweet ginger chilli dipping sauce leaves, torn into 12 pieces For the Rolls.. Ingredients: •100g vermicelli rice noodles •1 carrot, cut into thin batons For the Dipping Sauce... •12 x 20cm round rice •A handful coriander, Thai •2 garlic cloves chopped paper wrappers basil & long chives •1 small red chilli chopped •50g beansprouts •1 tbsp finely chopped ginger •handful mint leaves •Zest 1 orange •1 tbsp golden caster sugar •18 cooked prawns, cut in half lengthways •200ml tub crème fraîche •3 tbsp fish sauce •2-3 large iceberg lettuce •Icing sugar, for dusting •Juice 1 lime

1) Make the dipping sauce by pounding the garlic, chilli, ginger and sugar together using a pestle and mortar, then stir in the fish sauce and lime juice. Alternatively, just blitz everything together in a mini blender. 2) Soak the rice noodles in a bowl of hot water for 15 mins, then drain well. Assemble all the prepared filling ingredients - once you start, you will need everything to hand. 3) When you are ready to make the rolls, dip one of the rice papers in a bowl of hot water, moving it around until the whole wrapper is soft - about 10-15 secs - then drain on a tea towel. 4) Place a rice paper wrapper on a board and at one edge of the wrapper, add a few mint leaves, then three prawn halves. 5) Place some lettuce on top of the prawns, followed by some noodles, a few strips of carrot and cucumber, some more herbs and finally some beansprouts. Don't overfill the pancakes or they will be hard to roll. 6) Lift the edge of the rice paper wrapper nearest to you over the filling and, holding the filling in position with your fingers, start rolling up tightly. 7) When you're about halfway, fold the ends of the rice paper in and over the filling so that it is completely enclosed. 8) Keep on rolling tightly until the whole rice paper wrapper is rolled up. To serve, cut the rolls in half on the diagonal.

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To advertise in the most popular A5 magazine on the Costa del Sol with rates starting at 35â&#x201A;Ź call: 951 216 131 email: sales@costalinkmagazine.com

July 2013 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/23/13 3:21 PM Page 62

What’Guide s On

24th June to the 6th September: Kids Sport Summer camp at the Multi Sports centre in Nueva Andalucia. Hourly/weekly/ fortnightly rates available call 678 286 490 for more information. 5th to the 7th July: The International Blues festival in Plaza Virgen de La Pena Mijas Pueblo, The pretty hillside village of Mijas will be inundated with Blues lovers from all over Europe for 3 nights of the finest music Blues has to offer entry is free to all - Friday 7.30pm - 01.30am, Saturday 7.00pm - 2.00am, Sunday 7.30pm - 12.30am for more info see www.mijasbluesfestival.com 3rd to the 14th July: Beer Festival in La Cala de Mijas, everyday 7.00pm to 2.00am and 10.00am to 2.00 am on Wednesdays and Saturdays. 5th to the 6th July : Ojeando Music Festival is a must for fans of indie rock and pop, festival tickets are 15€ and camping is available for more details see www.ojeando-festival.com. 13th to the 16th July : Los Boliches Feast of the Virgen del Carmen (16th July) is very popular with a marine-terrestrial procession of the Patron of the Sea and is well worth seeing. Also in Fuengirola, Estepona and Marbella. 23rd July to 23rd August : A month of concerts at the Starlite Festival Marbella in The Marbella Quarry as unique and unparalleled stage concerts films, art, dancing and eating. Every Monday: Flamenco Dinner at Tipi Tapa, Calle Malaga. Call 951 311 630 for reservations. Every Monday: 1st Coin Brownies meet 5pm-6.30pm at El Centro Nazareno in Coin. Suitable forages 7-10 years. Great fun for the girls. Contact www.1stcoinbrownies.info Every Monday: 11 am – 1 pm: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain at La Iglesia Bar, nr Bonanza Square, Benalmadena Costa. Every Tuesday: The Costa Women Coffee Club meet every second Tuesday at 10am – 12.30pm for coffee, chats and other activities and is a social group designed to get ladies of all ages together. It’s best to join the group via Facebook or contact Emma on 608 408 771. Every Tuesday: 11 am – 1 pm: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain at Age Care’s Advice Centre, Doña Lola, Calahonda, Mijas Costa Every Thursday: Market at Calypso, Calahonda. Every Thursday: Flamenco Dinner at Tipi Tapa, Calle Malaga. Call 951 311 630 for reservations. Every Thursday: 10 am – 12.30 pm: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain at Manilla Bar, Paseo Maritimo, Los Boliches, Fuengirola. Every Saturday: Atletico Las Chapas, Football Academy meet @ Aztec Country Club, Riviera. Call for moe information on: 685 448 083. Every Sunday FROM THE 14th of July: BBQ at La Luna, Campo Mijas, Mijas Costa, Fabulous food in lovely garden surroundings at this award winning family run restaurant, eat as much as you like for 15€. Call 952 588 036 for bookings and info from 7pm. Every Sunday: Flea Market EVERY Sunday 10am till 2pm at Calypso, Calahonda. Every Sunday: At the Hippodrome from 9am - 2pm FAMA have a car boot sale. Every Sunday: There is a market every Sunday in the Marbella Marina (Puerto Deportivo de Marbella) on the Teresa Zabell Pier from 12:00-18:00. Every Sunday: Santiago Restaurant Alhaurin el Grande - Traditional Sunday Lunch. Every Sunday: Barbeque night at Riviera Grand Palms Cyber Cafe, from 6pm, Families welcome, loads of home cooked food from 7€, Calle Sirocco 370 Phase 7 Urb. Riveria del Sol, follow the signs from the lady in the bath, booking advised Tel 952 932 112.

If you have an event, fundraiser or anything else please let us know… email: editor@costalinkmagazine.com phone: 951 216 131 or 663 061 669

July 2013 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/23/13 3:21 PM Page 63

666 089 427

private buyer

July 2013 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/23/13 3:21 PM Page 64

ocal Info Emergency Numbers

---

Central number for Fire, Police & Ambulance National Police Local Police Guardia Civil dica

Medical

112 091 092 062

Emergency 061 Ambulance Marbella 902 505 061 Ambulance Coin 952 453 267

Health Centres

Town Halls

Marbella 952 761 100 San Pedro 952 453 020 La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208 Fuengirola 952 589 300 Estepona 952 801 100

Fire Brigade

Emergency number 080 Marbella 952 774 349 Estepona 952 804 483 Fuengirola 952 461 046 British Ireland Denmark Sweden Germany France U.S.A

952 952 952 952 952 952 952

Marbella Coin Estepona Fuengirola San Pedro

952 771 442 952 822 818 952 822 818 952 467 457 952 785 252

352 475 226 604 212 226 474

300 108 373 383 442 590 891

Tourist Information

Bus Stations Marbella 952 764 400 Coin 952 450 366 San Pedro 952 781 396 Estepona 952 800249 For a list of complete times www.andalucia.com/travel/bus Train Timetables 902 240 202 Airports Malaga 952 048 844 Gibraltar 956 773 026

Marbella 952 769 946 Coin 952 452 767 San Pedro 952 787 700

Consulates

Transport

Markets

Monday - Marbella (fairground site on east side) Tuesday - Fuengirola (fairground near Los Boliches) Wednesday - Calypso (Mijas Costa & Estepona (Avda. Juan Carlos) La Cala - Feria ground Thursday - San Pedro (Recinto Ferial) Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama) Friday - Alhaurin el Grande (Bar Aquamania) Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano Pineda) La Cala - Feria ground. Sunday - Puerto Estepona

Cinemas

(Marina)

All the Cinemas listed below show films in English as well

as Spanish. Call first to check what is showing that week. Marbella: Cinesur Plaza del Mar 952 766 941 La Ca単ada 902 333 231 Puerto Banus: Gran Marbella 952 810 077 Coin: La Trocha 951 315 039 Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221 622

Chemists

24 hour chemist Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz Km 194. Marbella. Tel: 952 83 25 89

Taxis

Marbella Taxis 952 774 488 Mijas Costa Taxis 952 476 593

Diary Dates

4th July - Independence Day

16th July - VIRGN DEL CARMEN ANDALUCIA: The Virgen del Carmen is the patron saint of fishermen, and the statue is taken from her church in a procession through the streets of her town, and then goes around the harbour to bless the fishing boats. Places where you can see this fiesta Estepona, Fuengirola and Marbella.

if you would like to sponsor this page please call 663 061 669

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July 2013 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/23/13 3:22 PM Page 66

Strangebuttrue...

STRANGE PERCENTAGES

39% of us peek in our host’s bathroom cabinet whilst in their house. 17% have been caught by the host. 29% of us ignore RSVP. 71.6% of us eavesdrop. 22% are functionally illiterate. 37% claim to know how to use all the features on their I pad, I pod or other electrical gadgetry. 53% prefer ATM machines over tellers. 56% of women do the bills in a marriage. 2 out of 3 of us wouldn’t give up our spouse even for a night for a 1,000,000€. 20% of us have played in a band at one time in our life. 40% of us have had music lessons. 44% reuse tinfoil. 57% save pretty gift paper to reuse. 66% of women and 59% of men have used a packet mix to cook and taken credit for doing it from scratch. 53% read their horoscopes regularly. 16% of us have forgotten our own wedding anniversary (mostly men). 59% of us say we’re average-looking. 90% of us depend on alarm clocks to wake us. 28% of us have skinny-dipped. 14% with the opposite sex.

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July 2013 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/23/13 3:22 PM Page 68

S TA R S I GN S

A look at what's in store for you during July.....

Capricorn

Aquarius

Aquarius, July 2013 will bring good news. Venus, the planet of love, is in your house of couples this transit will make you have higher sentimental availability and a special charm, which attracts and offers delight. July 2013 will be a busy month, with a lot of work and with all sorts of obligations, in which you'll succeed only if you organize yourself very well. By working systematically, though, you can do in a month as others in a year and, in addition to that, you can boost your income. July 2013 will be a top month, in which all this will acquire a more obvious profile. But it'll also be a very busy month, putting continuous pressure on you, even more visible in the second half. July is a great time to make new friends why not start new collaborations!

Pisces

Pisces, with the Sun, Jupiter and later Mars in sign this month you are hot, hot, hot. The passionate impulses will reach a maximum point in the second part of the month, but all in all, the whole July 2013 will be a month dates and flirting. You'll have an optimistic attitude, which will urge to having fun and start enjoying life at its best again. On the other hand, be careful about the hidden dangers, protect yourself and be discreet! Especially if it's an affair that will starts at the office. Love can indeed be connected to work or to daily tasks, with the job, with workmates. At work you'll be in a period in which you'll be able to prove your talents convincingly, in which you can display your qualities efficiently, whichever they are. Try to express yourself in a creative way or by something that represents you!

Aries

Aries, Passion and sensuality - these are the words that describe the sentimental climate of the month July 2013 in a brief and concise way. In the first three weeks, Venus, the planet of love, will cross the "hot" sign of Leo which, for Aries, is the house of sensual pleasures and gallant adventures. In July 2013 expect to fall in love or at the very least you’ll be hotting up your action between the sheets! And if opportunities don't come on their own, create them! You'll have the support of the stars. At work your dynamic spirit, marked by initiative and decision, will continue in the first half of July 2013. You may have all kinds of bothering problems and small misunderstandings. The stress will be rather high, and accomplishments will take a lot of effort to happen. Don't rush, and get advice from the people close to you as regards important issues!

Taurus

Gemini 68

Capricorn July 2013 brings issues with, relationships… This month all the interest will go towards love, marriage, collaboration or social interaction in general. Jupiter entered Capricorn's house of couples at the end of last month, where it'll stay for one year. In this period the need for love will grow a lot and there can be many happy opportunities. Therefore, a lot of action is to be expected. Passionate tendencies will be very strong, so you might be in for many hot nights. All throughout July 2013 you'll work hard, you'll have emergencies, you'll go through situations which will demand that you take some fast decisions or which will imply competition, rivalry or conflicts. Money will appear to be very important in July 2013. Your professional objectives will be especially oriented towards the material aspects, rather than towards visibility and success. Avoid the situations that are likely to generate conflicts!

Taurus, right from the start we have to say that Jupiter's arrival in Cancer at the end of last month will give you advantages at several levels, including making relationships better. The first part of July 2013 will see you spending a lot of time on your finances meaning you’ll have a lot less time to spend with loved ones. Communication will be the major obstacle to go over in Taurus' relationships this month. In July 2013 the focus will be on new, bold ideas, large-scale, brave plans, and the tendency towards action will grow more intense. Expect new collaboration opportunities to come along this month. You should nevertheless try to take it easier in the first part of July 2013 which could be troublesome for health take some you time it’s the summer after all! Be careful about the papers you'll sign and about the statements you'll make!

Gemini, mars will stay in Gemini until July 13th, this will make you like a sex god for the first part of the month! On the other hand, Venus, the planet of love and harmony, will be in Gemini's house of communication and movement until the 22nd of July. It'll be the perfect time to be spent with a loved one why not take a short trip or have a day off together? Watch out though because Mars can cause some passionate episodes, but can also cause arguments or other kinds of turbulence. On the work front you can now catch up with projects fallen behind and you can even advance considerably, if you have good instincts and precise goals. It wouldn't be surprising if you ended up achieving something you have already abandoned or if you started enjoying the results of the efforts which have exhausted you lately. Leave any important financial operations for the last part of the month!

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Cancer

Leo

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio

Sagittarius

Cancer, at the end of last month Jupiter entered the sign of Cancer, where it'll stay for one year. This position of Jupiter will have a significant impact on several sectors, one of which will be relationships. Jupiter will provide you with some extra physical energy and also powers of seducement it will boost your courage, set you free of your inhibitions and challenge you to explore and experience. Some communication problems might arise, though, which could cause troubles from time to time. On July 13th, Mars will also make an entrance in Cancer, and the tandem Mars-Jupiter will be "pure dynamite" so you’ll be hot to trot watch out on the Costa del Sol! Once Jupiter has entered Cancer, an important year has started for your career. You'll be the possessor of some fantastic, potential energy, which will supply great success. Although stop from time to time and think things over!

Leo, you'll be among the happy people of the zodiac: in July 2013, Venus, the planet of love, will be right in the sign of Leo. Venus will lend you great seduction capacity and a special easiness in social contacts. You'll have charm, sex appeal; you'll be open to love. If you are in a relationship then this is a great time to spice things up in the bedroom! If you are free and single now is the time to get out there and look for a relationship, Leo’s power of seduction is on fire this month. However, be careful, because on the first days of July 2013 there might also appear small problems from time to time. Look before you leap. On the work front if you don't have clear future plans yet, then it's time that they appeared. Towards the end if the month your self-confidence will boost, you'll want to shine, to draw attention. You'll stand out as a leader and a winner.

Virgo, throughout July 2013 you'll lead an intense social life, you'll be very preoccupied with the others, and you'll take a bigger interest in your relationship. You’ll have an urge to travel far away. It's also very likely that you'll take a trip and this may involve having a long-distance affair. Social or group initiatives will catch all your attention this month. It looks as if there are projects or activities to organise for which you'll play the leading role. Throughout July 2013 you'll be caught in the whirl of action, of plans for the future. Financially, the situation will improve in the second part of the month; you could even have a windfall at this time. You might not feel very well in the first part of July 2013, you might experience a sensation of fuzziness not being able to concentrate this will soon pass though. Take it easy and assess your chances thoroughly! Libra, July 2013 will have a promising start with Mars, the ruler of Libra's house of couples, and Venus, the planet of love, placed in favorable positions. Mars may be planning romantic trips, long-distance love stories or journeys taken to see the dear one. Venus will encourage you to have fun along with your friends, to socialize and to participate in-group activities. If you are single and looking for love this is a great month to find it. The kind of environments that new love will flourish in will be in place now. If you are in a relationship spend quality time with your partner. Your career will take a dynamic turn this month. You'll tend to manifest your authority in a stronger way, while the motivation for business and profession will go up. It'll be a hectic, stressful month, with fights, but at the same time with opportunities to accomplish big things.

Scorpio, at the end of last month the position of the stars underwent a change with positive influence on Scorpio's sentimental life. Jupiter entered your sign this month this meaning that for a whole year ahead Jupiter will do whatever it takes for you to enjoy love fulfillment in all your relationships. It'll not be the time of ordinary relationships, but of relationships that glow, shine and explode. Venus, located in Scorpio's house of career, will smooth your way, will provide small favorable circumstances and will help you make a good impression in front of bosses. You'll be able to solve a few things due to your talent, personal charm and connections. The first part of the month will be more active financially speaking (extra money, loans, investments, recuperations, payments, etc.) But the second part will bring a solution to some more long term money troubles you have been having recently.

Sagittarius, July 2013 brings a more complicated period from a relationship point of view. This month sees a relationship going through a complex period of change there are certain things that don't go as they should, it'll now be the best time to take a step back and access it. Look at things from a different perspective, it's possible for you and your partner to be preoccupied with material problems or for your partner to have prevailing financial preoccupations. In July 2013, the balance of value will assess many things. A business, a loan, some inheritance, a partition or another material issue in which third parties are involved will come (back) to the foreground. Trips and people from far away and foreign countries will become important pieces in the picture, maybe even as regards making decisions. This month will see you making your calculations carefully try not to spend excessively!

Puzzle It Out

July 2013 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/23/13 3:22 PM Page 70

Crossword

Solutions on page 80 Across: 1) Alterations (7) 5) Pulsate (5) 8) Lively dance (5) 9) Rumour (7) 10) Breed of dog (7) 11) Young ox (5) 12) Yearned (6) 14) Straw hat (6) 18) Injure (5) 20) Female thespian (7) 22) Wither (7) 23) Terminated (5) 24) Regulations (5) 25) Made certain (7)

Down: 1) Upper-case letter (7) 2) More competent (5) 3) Hard stone (7) 4) Vast desert of North Africa (6) 5) Snares (5) 6) Look up to (7) 7) Purchaser (5) 13) Impartial (7) 15) Vents (7) 16) Dwelt (7) 17) Spanish rice dish (6) 18) More sagacious (5) 19) Plunges (5) 21) Duck species from which down is obtained (5)

Sudoku

Brain Teaser MIND NUMBERING.... Here is a series of numbers. What is the next number in the sequence? 1 11 21 1211 111221 312211 13112221

Say What You See...

,D 70

12345paint

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July 2013 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/23/13 3:23 PM Page 72

F I N A N C I A L Economic & Currency News...

ALL LOOKING GOOD FOR THE UK!!!!

At last, we have some good and positive information from Great Britian. The UK has seen strong PMI's for Manufacturing which is at a 14 month high, UK Construction is up and so is the service sector, this grew at its fastest pace in 3 years. (service pmi makes up 3/4 of the UK GDP) This has had good new for Sterling, it has been up against all currencies except the Euro - we have for the past two weeks (3-17 June) Sterling has stayed in the range of 1.1808 -1.1780. The forecast for the UK's 2nd Quarter GDP could be up to 0.5 or even higher - we may see sterling rise from this. Retail sales are also up, and consumer confidence is growing in the UK - Strawberries and Cream anyone, yes Wimbledon starts next week and money will be spent, apparently 23 tons of fruit, more than 2 million berries and 1,820 gallons of cream will be consumed in the 2 weeks of Wimbledon.

Some Eurozone members like Spain seem to be in a better place at the moment, Spain's manufacturing is up, Spain's service PMI is also up from last month, however France does not seem to be fairing that well, their unemployment is up and the Euro zone is said to be in its 6th quarter of recession. Retail sales are also down from 0.2% to 0.5%. The ECB will keep interest rates on hold and apparently there is no need for QE in the euro zone. As the sterling euro range is not really doing much at the moment it would be wise to obtain guidance from the longest established FX company here on the coast to get the best rates, best service and the friendliest team.

Contact Moneycorp on 952 587 657 or email costalink@moneycorp.com

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July 2013 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/23/13 3:24 PM Page 74

The Jokes page

Jokes page

Dear Karma, I have a list of people you’ve missed...

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at two in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said “How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!” and hung up. The husband said, “Who was that?” The wife answered, “I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.” A priest and pastor from the local parishes are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, ‘The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!’ They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car. “Leave us alone you religious nuts!” yelled the first driver as he sped by. From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash. “Do you think,” said one clergy to the other, “we should just put up a sign that says 'Bridge Out' instead?”

An African leader makes an official trip to Russia. At the end of the trip, the Russian leader tells the African that in Russia they have a custom performed at farewells called "Russian Roulette" to demonstrate one's courage. The Russian whips out a revolver, loads one chamber, gives the cylinder spin, puts the gun to his head and pulls the trigger...CLICK...empty chamber. He hands the revolver to his African guest, and says, "Your turn."

Not to be outdone, the African repeats the ritual...CLICK...empty.

The next year, the Russian visits the African country. At the end of the trip, the African tells his Russian peer that he was very impressed with "Russian Roulette" and that he has spent the last

year devising an African ritual to demonstrate one's courage. The African then disappears through a door only to reappear a few minutes later smiling, and says, "Your turn."

The African escorts the Russian through the door. In the room are six of the most beautiful, naked women he has ever seen. The African explains that he is to choose one of the women, who will perform oral act on him. Absolutely dumbfounded, the Russian asks, "What kind of test of courage is this?" "One of them is a cannibal" Three old ladies and their dogs were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when a flasher approached from across the park. The flasher came up to the ladies, stood right in front of them, and opened his trench coat. Gertrude immediately had a stroke. Then Maude also had a stroke. But Tillie, being older and more feeble, couldn't reach that far.

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July 2013 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/23/13 3:24 PM Page 76

July 2013 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/23/13 3:24 PM Page 77

Marble Floor Polishing Phone Paul: 654 589 218

Before

After

Free advice on how to care for your floors at www.marblefloor.info

July 2013 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/23/13 3:24 PM Page 78

Harrys Sports Bar

All live sports and premiere league football. Six TV’s and big screen. Full menu, Sunday roast and homemade tapas. Large sun terrace. Open 10amlate, seven days a week. Upstairs Los Jarales, Calahonda

Mama Nostra

Traditional Italian food & grill. Fresh pasta, wood burning pizza oven, Open every day 12 - 11. Riviera Commercial, Tel: 952 934 496

Golden Sun

Catering for AGM’s and Parties with group discounts. Traditional Chinese Food. Takeaway menu. Special lunch menu only €6.95. Open 12.00-16.00 and 18.30-24.00 everyday. Riviera Commercial. Tel: 952 931 737

July 2013 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/23/13 3:24 PM Page 79

July 2013 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/23/13 3:24 PM Page 80

Puzzle It Out Solutions FromPages 20 & 70

Crossword Solution

Just Say What You See Comedy Paint by numbers

Brain Teaser

The next number in the sequence is 1113213211, because the rule for creating the next number is to simply describe the previous number. The first number is 1, or 1 (one) 1, so you get 11. To describe 11, you have two 1's, or 21. Now you have one 2 and one 1, so the next number is 1211. The solution is to simply continue describing the previous number using only numbers.

Trivia Quiz Answers 1) Bird 2) Lymph Glands 3) ABC 4) Spanish Riding School, Vienna 5) Red 6) Red / Ginger 7) Nick Leeson 8) 1912 9) Manatee 10) Pig 11) Dutch 12) Norwich 13) Bowls 14) Europe / America 15) Gills 16) 1970’s 17) Butterfly 18) Leather 19) Shoulder 20) Cat 21) Mexico 22) Flattery 23) Scotland 24) Crawford 25) 1pm 26) Quantum of Solace (2008) 27) Obtuse 28) 15 29) Kiefer 30) GROWN

teleweb internet & telephone just got better!

tion for someone who lives here full time. Do you have a wireless internet system that you are not happy with? Teleweb will convert you over to their service at no cost. What have you got to lose?

HAVE A UK No IN SPAIN!

teleweb – “Pay as you go” internet

Teleweb Internet & Telephone, has been providing wireless internet services since 2003, and in that time, has seen consistent growth and added new exciting services to its well established high speed 5GHz wireless internet service. FLEXIBILITY: Because you do not need a land line, you can have internet on a “Pay as you go” system. There are flexible solutions ranging from 1 hour to a permanent connec-

Teleweb offers a telephone system (without the need for a landline) with calls from 1.8c per minute. It is just like a Telefonica landline without the wires. No need to have your computer on to make and receive calls. Choose a telephone number from your home country or just elect to have a Malaga number. This system will work anywhere in the world with the same low call costs, you just need an internet connection. For more information on any of the above, please call Teleweb on 952 833 300 or Email: info@teleweb-marbella.

July 2013 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/23/13 3:25 PM Page 81

July 2013 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/23/13 3:25 PM Page 82

July 2013 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/23/13 3:25 PM Page 83

July 2013 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/23/13 3:25 PM Page 84