Costa Link Magazne October 09 by Costalink Magazine

Costa lInk magazine

COVERING COSTA DEL SOL - INCLUDING FUENGIROLA, LA CALA, CALAHONDA, ELVIRIA, MARBELLA, PUERTO BANUS, SAN PEDRO, ESTEPONA, LA DUQUESA, SOTOGRANDE, ALHAURIN AND COÍN.

OCTOBER 2009 NO.31

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WWW.COSTALINKMAGAZINE.COM

Jokes

Puzzles

Bar & Restaurant Guide

Local Info

What’s On Guide

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Kids Page

Business Directory

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Glass Curtains S.L.

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SEAT MARBELLA 2 Door Coupe, Lovely Little Car.

Selection of new pit bikes and quads from 350€

New Quad 110cc All Papers to make road legal. 500 €.

Ford Transit 190 Diesel 1999, LWB, High Top, UK Registered.

600 868 056

Email: alhaurinautos@live.co.uk Poligono Industrial La Rosa, Alhaurin el Grande

RENAULT LAGUNA 2001, PAS, Hatch, A/C, Alarm, FSH, ITV till 2011 Spanish Reg ...... 5.495 €

VAUXHALL VECTRA 2004, RHD UK, PAS, E/W, C/L, CD, 59,000 miles ...... 4,995 €

M RENAULT ESPACE 2001, 2.2 HDI, 7 Seats, Alloy Wheels, Spanish Plate.

MERCEDES 280 Auto, EW, CL, UK Right Hand Drive, Fully Restored.

MERCEDES 280 SLC COUPE. Auto, Sports Box, PAS, E/W, Remote Locking, Spanish Plate, Fully Restored.

SUZUKI WIDE BOY 1992, UK Right Hand Drive, Alloy Wheels, Alarm, PAS, CD.

With over 15 years experience in the UK, we at Alhaurin Autos know how to look after our customers. We will take part exchanges of either English or Spanish vehicles. We give you cash back if you wish to trade down to a smaller car. We have a fully qualified gestor and will take care of all the legalities for you. FORD TRANSIT 130 /T260 2007 Panel Van, A/C, E/W, Can’t get to see us? No problem, we’ll bring the car to you. C/L, Full Roof Rack, Side Servicing and repairs at competative prices Door................... 9.995 € 3, 6 and 12 month warranties available. Grua recovery and removal service available. FULLY LICENCED.

PEUGEOT PARTNER 2005, LHD, Spanish Plate, A/C, CD, Twin Side Door ... 6,995 €

MERCURY SABLE. 1991 LHD, Auto, PAS, C/L, Fully Loaded, UK Reg.

ROVER MG ZP COUPE. 2001, Alloy Wheels, Air Con, CD, Spanish Plate.

OPEL ASTRA. 2000, 1.7 TDI, 5 Door Hatch, Air Con, EW, CL, Spanish Plate.

Recovery Breakdown & Transport Service Accident & Damaged Cars Removed .

HONDA STREAM 2002, 7 Seats, A/C, CD, Remote Locking, EW, Long ITV ............ 6,995 €

HONDA CRV 1998, PAS, E/W, 5 Speed Man, C/L, Tinted Glass, LHD, UK Reg .... 4,995 €

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MERCEDES C43 AMG Estate, LHD UK, Auto, Leather, DVD, CD, Fully Loaded ................ 6,995 €

HYUNDAI SANTA FE 2002, TDI, 4x4 Auto, Air Con, Spanish Plate.

Cars bought and sold, cash waiting, immediate decision. Free collection service, best prices paid, Call now! Sunday viewings by appointment.

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We have more stock available, please see our website for a wide selection of LHD, RHD, Commercial, 4x4 and Cabriolets.

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MERCEDES C32 AMG 2002, Estate, LHD, Alloys, Spanish Plate, Auto, Sat Nav, A/C .......... 14,995 €

DODGE RAM 150 2003, LHD UK, LPG, 4 Door, Pick Up, Fully Loaded ............. 9,995 €

O AUTOS ALHAURIN

www.costalinkmagazine.com

Skype: costalink.magazine Deposito Legal: MA-228-2007 Deadline Date: 15th of each month. No part of this publication, including pictures may be copied, SCANNED, used or reproduced without our prior written consent.

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Costa Link Magazine accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors.

Website:

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Welcome to the October ‘Halloween’ edition of the Costa Link. It only seems five minutes since we published September’s. Doesn’t time fly, I’ve been told that is has something to do with my age, but I like to think it because I am having fun.Well summer is behind us know the cooler evening are moving in and I guess so is the rain. Thanks for all the messages and calls, remember if you got a joke or a funny short story send it over and we will endeavour to get it published in the magazine. The party season is fast approaching check out our bar and restaurant guide and start booking up for your Christmas and New Year’s parties. While we are on the subject of Christmas ,advertising in Costa Link Magazine starts from only 20 euro’s per month and what a great time to let our readers know what you have special for them so call us to see how we can help you. With all that said Halloween is first and if are planning a party or just a bit of trick or treating then have a flick through Costa Link Magazine to find outlets for all your ghoulish needs.Don’t forget to check out page 98 for the Beat car sticker winner, ‘It Could Be You’ that’s up for 200€ for displaying a Beat Radio car sticker. Thanks to all our dedicated readers and advertisers from all of us at Costa Link and as ever enjoy, have fun and we will see you next month.

Tel: 663 061 669

Inside This Month’s Issue

What’s On Guide

Puz zles

Jokes Page

Kids Page

42 & 48

Bar & Restaurant Guide

MRS CHIPPY

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A W o m a n’ s W o r l d

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silly aroused, but since you’ve being complaining, I’ll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your... physical needs. But he will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting, kicking a ball and hitting a ball with clubs, then chasing them around a field. He won’t be too smart, so he will also need your advise to think properly.” “Sounds great,” says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow. “Is there a catch, Lord?” “Yes, well... you can have him on one condition.” “What’s that, Lord?” “As I said, he will be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring creature... So you will have to let him believe that I made him first... So, just remember... it’s our secret... Womanto-woman!”

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God... “Lord, I have a problem!” “What’ is the problem, Eve?” “Lord, I know you have created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedic snake, but I’m just not happy.” “Why is that, Eve?” came the reply from above. “Lord, I am lonely. And I’m sick to death of apples.” “Well Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create ‘Man’ for you.” “What is a ‘man’ Lord?” “Well, ‘Man’ will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits. He’ll lie, cheat, and be vainglorious; all in all, he’ll give you a hard time. But, he will be stronger, bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look very

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Autumn - Winter Collection now in.

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W h a t ’s T h e G o s s

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Susan Boyle and Wild Horses - Susan Boyle wowed the US as she took to the America's Got Talent stage and sang an amazing rendition of the Rolling Stones' song Wild Horses. Sounding pitch perfect and much more polished than she ever has before, a sophisticated Susan Boyle belted out the number and received an amazing applause, leaving no doubt in anyone's mind that she's a true talent to be reckoned with. Have a listen and let her vocals blow your minds. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HFrm Vq0Idw&feature=player_embedded#t=425

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Coleen Nolan has a Sex Tape!!!Coleen Nolan brought a whole new meaning to being an embarrassing mum yesterday when she announced live on air that she’d made a sex tape. As if that wasn’t cringe-worthy enough, her two poor sons were watching in the studio audience. Aargh! Coleen made the admission live on Loose Women, saying happily that her and her partner looked like “two sea lions that needed clubbing” and that she resembled an “albino whale”. Her two sons Jake, 16 and 21-year-old Shane put their head in their hands as visibly grimaced as their mother ploughed on. Poor boys. Very amusing for all of us, but absolutely mortifying for them.

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W h a t ’s T h e G o s s

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Olly Mur, who you ask! - This year’s X Factor has been a bit lacking so far, but that changed when 25-year-old Olly Mur strutted confidently onto the stage. The cheeky chappie wowed the judges and the crowd with his rendition of Steve Wonder's Superstition, throwing a few nifty dance moves to boot. There was a definite sparkle in the eyes of both Cheryl and Dannii, not to mention most of the female audience. OK, so he may be a bit cocky, but with his cute looks and smooth performance, we will let it go. In case you didn’t see him, have a watch now. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Seel4D VuPSM&feature=player_embedded

Jennifer Aniston is a Singer?! - Jennifer Aniston got well and truly stitched up when she appeared on Ellen DeGeneres’ chat show Jennifer is currently working on a new film where she plays the part of a singer, and Ellen decided that it was about time we heard Jen’s singing talents for ourselves. Poor Jen was clearly caught unawares, but she sang a few lines anyway. We think she’s got a sweet little voice. Have a listen and tell us what you think of her voice, info@costalinkmagazine.com.

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The Man Diet

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process takes approximately 37 calories as stated above. The average dessert portion is 6 oz, or 168 grams. Therefore, by operation of thermodynamiclaw, 6,216 calories (1 cal./gm/deg. x 37 deg. x 168 gms) are extracted from body fat as the dessert’s temperature is normalized. Allowing for the 1,200 latent calories in the dessert, the net calorie loss is approximately 5,000 calories. Obviously, the more cold dessert you eat, the better off you are and the faster you will lose weight, if that is your goal. This process works equally well when drinking very cold beer in frosted glasses. Each ounce of beer contains 16 latent calories, but extracts 1,036 calories (6,216 cal. per 6 oz. portion) in the... ‘Cont Page 14’

Finally after all these years a diet designed with men in mind. The Beer and Ice cream diet!. But stay away from the pizza!. As we all know, it takes 1 calorie to heat 1 gram of water 1 degree centigrade. Translated into meaningful terms, this means that if you eat a very cold dessert (generally consisting of water in large part), the natural processes which raise the consumed dessert to body temperature during the digestive cycle literally sucks the calories out of the only available source, your body fat. For example, a dessert served and eaten at near 0 degrees C (32.2 deg. F) will in a short time be raised to the normal body temperature of 37 degrees C (98.6 deg. F). For each gram of dessert eaten, that

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The Man Diet

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desserts, e.g., ice cream, are even more beneficial, since it takes 83 cal./gm to melt them (i.e., raise them to 0 deg. C) and an additional 37 cal./gm to further raise them to body temperature. The results here are really remarkable, and it beats running hands down. Unfortunately, for those who eat pizza as an excuse to drink beer, pizza (loaded with latent calories and served above body temperature) induces an opposite effect. But, thankfully, as the astute reader should have already reasoned, the obvious solution is to drink a lot of beer with pizza and follow up immediately with large bowls of ice cream We could all be thin if we were to adhere religiously to a pizza, beer, Happy eating! and ice cream diet.

temperature normalizing process. Thus the net calorie loss per ounce of beer is 1,020 calories. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to calculate that 12,240 calories (12 oz. x 1,020 cal./oz.) are extracted from the body in the process of drinking a can of beer. Frozen

It worked for me... I’m so proud...

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Pardon... your hearing!!!”

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A young man was having some money problems, and needed €200 to get his car fixed and roadworthy again. But had run out of people to borrow from. So, he calls his parents via the operator, and reverses the charge and says to his father. “I need to borrow two hundred euros,” he says. At the other end, his father says, “Sorry, I can’t hear you, son, its a dreadful bad line speak up.” The boy shouts, “Two hundred. I need two hundred euros!” “Sorry, son I still can’t hear you clearly,” says his father. At this point the operator cuts in, “Sorry to interrupt, But I can hear him perfectly clearly.” The father says, “Good. YOU send him the money!”

An old woman came into her doctor’s office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. “I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they’re soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I’ve been here, I’ve farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?,” “Here’s a prescription, Mrs.Harris. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week.” Next week an upset Mrs.Harris marched into Dr. Johnson’s office. “Doctor, I don’t know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I’m farting just as much, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?” “Calm down, Mrs.Harris,” said the doctor soothingly. “Now that we’ve fixed your sinuses, we’ll work on

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Do You Remember?

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asks him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" He says, "No, I can remember that." She then says, "Well I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down cause I know you'll forget that." He says, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." She replies, "Well I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down." With irritation in his voice, he says, "I don't need to write that down I can remember that." He then fumes into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he returns from the kitchen and hands her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment and says, "You forgot my toast."

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An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor's, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor tells them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asks, "Where are you going?" He replies, "To the kitchen." She asks, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" He replies, "Sure."She then

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Whoop’s

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Council spokeswoman said. A spokesman for BIFFA who run the landfill, said trespassing could be dangerous. He said 1,200 tonnes of rubbish would have been tipped on top of the site since the money went missing. “The chance of finding one plastic bag would be extremely remote,” he said. “It’s not a safe place to go unsupervised.” According to the unnamed family, the cash was stored in £50 notes in a shopping bag.

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Scavengers hoping to find a plastic bag filled with £12,000 in cash are being asked not to hunt for it at a landfill site. The money is now thought to be buried under tonnes of rubbish. A “very confused” elderly woman reportedly lost the money, her life savings, after mistakenly dumping the shopping bag in a wheelie bin. The bin was then collected and taken to a landfill site near Horsham, West Sussex. The woman,s daughter later asked staff to hunt for the cash but a team of 14 binmen could find no trace of it. They stopped trucks dumping rubbish for 45 minutes during the search before admitting defeat. After news of the mistake emerged, locals hoping for a windfall were warned to stay away from the landfill site. “It is a secure site and we would urge people not to even consider going there,” Worthing Borough

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The Gemstone

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on their mobile phones as they ran. But when the police and May’s parents came, all four girls were soaking in blood. Not their own blood. The police found a black gemstone, unidentified, in the driver’s seat covered with blood. The girls went ahead to the party. The address was just an empty old house but in that garden there were many bloody, black, unidentified gemstones.

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One Halloween night, a 16 year old girl named May and her friends, Irene, Kate, and Leslie, were out driving to a Halloween party outside of town. So, of course, they took the motorway. The car was slowing down, like it was running out of petrol, but the gauge said it was full. May and Leslie went to check out the engine. When they opened the bonnet, there was a hand. A lone hand. They were so frightened they couldn’t scream. Leslie reached out to touch it then It Moved! This time they both screamed and Irene and Kate ran out the car screaming. They said there was a man with his flesh torn and a missing hand in the back seat. The girls ran and the car was chasing them slowly. May called the her parents, Irene called 999,

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Party accessories Books, toys, games, beach items stationary and jewelry Royal mail deliveries Passport renewal

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A M a n’s W o r l d

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please?” said Dmitry. “Yes?” “Could the condoms be red in colour and at least 10” long and 4” in diameter?” said Dmitry. “That will be no problem,” replied the Prime Minister and, with that, Brown hung up and called the CEO of Durex. “I need a favour, you’ve got to make 1,000,000 condoms right away and send them to Russia.” “Consider it done,” said the CEO. “Great!” said Brown. Now listen, they have to be red in color, 10" long and 4” in diameter.” “Easily done. Anything else?” “Yes,” said the Prime Minister, “print, ‘Made In England, Size. Medium’ on each one.”

The Russian President Dmitry Anatolyevich Medvedev called Gordon Brown with an emergency: “Our largest condom factory has exploded!” the Russian President cried. “My people’s favorite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!” “Dmitry, the British people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you” replied the Prime Minister. “I do need your help,” said Dmitry. “Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms as soon as possible to tide us over?” “Certainly my dear chap! I’ll get right on it!” said Brown. “Oh, and one more small favour,

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The Four Sons

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The third man’s son, Greg, has worked his way up through a stock brokerage, and in the last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio as a gift. As the fourth man arrives at the tee, another tells him that they have been discussing their progeny and asks what line his son is in. “To tell the truth, I’m not very pleased with how my son turned out,” he replies. “For 15 years, Chico’s been a hairdresser, and I’ve just recently discovered he’s gay. However, on the bright side, he must be good at what he does because his last three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two cars, and a big pile of stock certificates.”

These 4 gents go out to play golf one sunny morning. One is detained in the clubhouse, and the other three are discussing their children while walking to the first tee. “My son Kent,” says one, “has made quite a name for himself in the home-building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He’s so successful in fact, in the last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift.” The second man, not to be out done, tells how his son began his career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership. “Norm’s so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave his friend two brand new cars as a gift.”

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London Barber

FUENGIROLA PORT GENTS HAIRDRESSER NOW INCORPORATING

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No matter where you are - in the office or at home Enjoy the taste of natural spring water & the convenience of the dispenser: Hot, cold or room-temperature 6â&#x201A;Ź rent for the dispenser / month 6â&#x201A;Ź each bottle (19L) Including free delivery

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The Den Rejects

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Rob Law was left pulling his hair out after an humiliating appearance. The founder of Trunki, luggage especially designed for children, has had the last laugh. The invention which allows children to bring toys, books and spare clothing with them when they travel has sold more than 120,000 globally. Theo Paphitis ridiculed the children's luggage product after he managed to pull off one of the straps forcing 30 year-old Law to redesign the practical toy. Although he declined to stipulate how much he has made from Trunki, the creation is now one of the top-selling luggage items at John Lewis, Mothercare and Debenhams.

Shaun Pulfrey had the last laugh after his innovative hairbrush was snapped up by Boots. The high street giant will stock the Tangle Teezer at 600 stores, a year after the five business experts on the how rejected Shaun’s idea. The south London hairdresser's device is designed to smooth knotted hair easily and could make the hairdresser a handsome profit. As well as the lucrative contract with Boots, sales have taken off on the internet and helped push 47-year-old Mr Pulfrey's turnover to £800,000, landing him a £200,000 profit. With Tangle Teezers now being sold all over the world, he expects to turn over £1.5m from the product next year.

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PLUMBER FREE CALL OUT

FUENGIROLA, CALAHONDA, MARBELLA, GUADALMINA, BENAHAVIS. 40 YEARS EXPERIENCE

CALL KEN: 952 455 279 or 654 632 329

FORD FOCUS, 05, 1.9.......... 5,999€

SMART PASSION, CAB ............. 5,900€

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BMW 320 D, 01, ............... 8,888€

VOLVO S60 2002 ..................5,900€

FORD GALAXY GHIA............ 3,600€

9,800€

LANDROVER DISCOVERY AUTOMATIC

LINCOLN MOD, 2001......... 7,999€

OPEL FRONTERA .............. 5,800€

OPAL ZAFIRA, TD, 04.........4,999€

SAAB CABRIOLET, AUTO.......7,999€

MITSUBISHI, DIESEL,01 .......6,600€ FIAT PUNTO, CABRIO, 99 .... 2,000€

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OPAL ZAFIRA, DIESEL ..........7,999€

TOYOTA CAMRY,AUTO ......... 2,900€ KAWASAKI 96, 1500cc ......... 4,999€

FREELANDER 1.8, 2002 ...........7,999€

AUDI A4 2.4 CABRIO, AUTOMATIC, 2003 .........15,9000€

SEAT IBIZA 2003............... 2,900€

VW TOUAREG 4x4, DIESEL, AUTOMATIC, 2004 ...22,900€

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LAND ROVER DEFENDER...... 7,999€

JEEP WRANGLER ...................5,000€

The Den Rejects

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Rachel Lowe got a roasting when she entered the Den. Rachel used her experience as a taxi driver to invent Destination London, a board game in which players assume the role of cabbies in the capital. The aim of the game is to race around the city visiting tourist attractions, collecting fares and avoiding hazards such as traffic lights. The signs are that the Dragons have missed a trick. Destination London is now the number one selling game in Hamleys more popular even than Monopoly, whose owner, Hasbro, is bringing out a new version for the first time in its 70-year history.

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David & Sarah Glashan are proving the Den was wrong by not backing them, as they reap the rewards of their invention.The couple were panned on the show, when none of the entrepreneurs would invest £250k for a 20 per cent share in their firm to make the Itsa. The Itsa is a beach bag which turns into a sun lounger cover, with pockets to keep valuables at the beach or poolside. In there first year of trading, they have sold 65,000. They believe they are set to sell more than 100,000 and make more than £2.5m, selling the Itsa in Cyprus, Italy, America, Canada, and Australia.

•Well Womens Clinic (Cervical Smears, breast examinations) •Full Health Assessments •Dyslexia Assessments •Complimentary Therapists •Counseling service •Hypertension management

A Nurse led service providing an innovative and holistic approach to healthcare that brings the values and practices of a British Health Centre to the Costa del Sol, enabling you to access a service that is familiar. •Community Mental Health team Mens Health Clinic (Includes PSA, Testicular examination) •Care Coordination Centre •Asthma Clinic •Diabetes Management •Vaccination Clinics

Tel: 952 83 57 76 www.clinicamedicare.com Located in La Cala de Mijas just around the corner from the BP petrol station. Ample parking. 32

On the Coin Road (A404), 3 km out of Alhaurín el Grande 20 minutes from La Cañada and the coast.

WE ARE NOW IN OUR 6TH YEAR!

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Luxury Pet Transportation throughout Europe by land Professional Grooming Salon for Dogs & Cats Pet Boutique with Pet Treats & Accessories Be a step in front of the Boutique Dog Hotel law and avoid a fine... Beautiful Secluded Cattery We now stock and supply: • Dog Car Harnesses with seatbelt attachments Grooming Courses • Dog Guards for cars Complete Dog Food "Posh Nosh" • Travel Crates Pet ID Tags - Now engraved onsite Bespoke Travel Cages - Custom Cages A Residential Obedience Training for your dog collection & Our own produced ‘Herbal Tonic’ for pets delivery ‘Pet

• • • • • • • • • • •

Visit: www.poshpetsspain.com

Telephone: 952 597 035

Taxi’ service is offered

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SolScreen

Professional window tinting

Sun pouring through your windows? Bleaching your furnishings? Annoying glare? Privacy problems?

Call SolScreen - we can help

SolScreen supply & install a complete range of Solar Control, U.V. protection, Privacy, Decorative or Security Window Films. Also available, the latest technologically advanced, practically invisible solar control window films.

20 Years Experience Tel: 952 931 938 Or visit: www.solscreen.com

Introducing Ultra Vision: • High-end, spectrally selective.• Elegant, barely visible appearance. • Extremely low interior and exterior Reflectivity. • Great solar heat and UV rejection. • Fade and corrosion resistant. • Exclusive Manufacturer’s Warranty.

ocal Info

Medical

Emergency 061 Ambulance Marbella 902 505 061 Ambulance Coin 952 453 267

Train Timetables 902 240 202 Airports Malaga 952 048 844 Gibraltar 956 773 026

Health Centres

Marbella 952 769 946 Coin 952 452 767 San Pedro 952 787 700

Town Halls

Marbella 952 761 100 San Pedro 952 453 020 La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208 Fuengirola 952 589 300 Estepona 952 801 100

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Fire Brigade Emergency number 080 Marbella 952 774 349 Estepona 952 804 483 Fuengirola 952 461 046

Consulates

British Ireland Denmark Sweden Germany France U.S.A

952 952 952 952 952 952 952

352 475 226 604 212 226 474

300 108 373 383 442 590 891

Tourist Information

Marbella Coin Estepona Fuengirola San Pedro

952 771 442 952 822 818 952 822 818 952 467 457 952 785 252

All the Cinemas listed below show films in English as well as Spanish. Call first to check what is showing that week. Marbella: Cinesur Plaza del Mar 952 766 941 La Ca単ada 902 333 231 Puerto Banus: Gran Marbella 952 810 077 Coin: La Trocha 951 315 039 Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221 622

112 091 092 062

Cinemas

Bus Stations Marbella 952 764 400 Coin 952 450 366 San Pedro 952 781 396 Estepona 952 800249 For a list of complete times www.andalucia.com/travel/bus

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Central number for Fire, Police & Ambulance National Police Local Police Guardia Civil dica

(Marina)

Transport

Emergency Numbers

Markets Monday - Marbella (fairground site on east side) Tuesday - Fuengirola (fairground near Los Boliches) Wednesday - Estepona (Avda. Juan Carlos) La Cala - Feria ground Thursday - San Pedro (Recinto Ferial) Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama) Friday - Alhaurin el Grande (Bar Aquamania) Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano Pineda) La Cala - Feria ground. Sunday - Puerto Estepona

Chemists 24 hour chemist Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz Km 194. Marbella. Tel: 952 83 25 89

Taxis Marbella Taxis 952 774 488 Mijas Costa Taxis 952 476 593

Diary Dates 1st Week of October 2009 Fuengirola Fiesta. 3rd Week of October 2009 San Pedro Fiesta. 12th October 2009 - Spanish National day 25th October 2009 - Clocks Back 31st October Halloween

2009

if you would like to sponsor this page please call 663 061 669

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Urb. El Pilar, Edif. Benapilar. Locales 8-10, Estepona. Exit Km 168 (Opposite the Crowne Plaza Hotel) Tel: 952 88 36 66

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WE ARE THE CELEBRATIES CHOIC

We specialise in serving our customers the highest quality food, w service, large portions, good value and most i FROM SPRING OUR BEAUTIFUL GARDEN TERRACES ARE OPEN -

OFA BED & S SHOP

SIR ALAN SUGAR

THEO PHAPHITIS

GEORGE GRAHAM

LIZ DAWN

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C/Jose de Espronceda, Edif. Mrc 7, Locale 32, ‘La Campana’, (opp. La Torre Andalucia Hotel) Nueva Andalucia, Marbella. Tel: 952 81 79 89

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tâÜtÇàá @ à{x y|Çxáà ÉÇ à{x VÉáàt wxÄ fÉÄ

d, whether you choose to eat in or take away. A friendly, efficient st important of all - GREAT COMFORT FOOD!!! N - TRENDY...BUZZY...ENJOYABLE. OUTDOOR EATING AT IT’S BEST

OICE FOR GREAT FISH AND CHIPS

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CASINO

San Pedro

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N340

Marbella

TONY’S BAR

D E H S I B R U TELY REF

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COMPLE

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ALL DAY BREAKFASTS (PICK YOUR OWN) TAPAS A LA CARTE MENU LARGE SELECTION OF BEERS, WINES, SPIRITS AND FROZEN AND TRADITIONAL COCKTAILS JOHN SMITHS BITTER ON TAP ALL MAJOR SPORTING EVENTS ON PLASMA SCREENS

TUESDAY - POKER NIGHT WEDNESDAY - DARTS & POOL NIGHT (CASH PRIZES) FRIDAY - FABULOUS KARAOKE WITH DAVE THE BRAVE SATURDAY - LIVE MUSIC QUIZ NIGHTS, THEME NIGHTS, POOL TABLES SUNDAY - BBQ

TONY’S BAR

OPEN 7 DAYS 10AM TILL LATE LA CORTIJERA LA CALA MIJAS COSTA

Dibleys Tapas

Bar

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La Cala de Mijas, Opposite the church. Tel: 952 493 042

Totally Refurbished and Outside Courtyard

Tapas 12pm - 3pm & 6pm - 10pm English and Spanish mix Full menu available 6pm - 10pm Sunday - Sunday Roast only. 12pm - 10pm

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Beef/pork/lamb €8 Chicken €7

to go...

Sandwich Bar

Incorporating

Filled baguettes, sandwiches and salads to eat in or take away. - 5pm Jane 10am and Steve formerly from ‘to go’

and Claire Gary formerly952 from Captains Bar 493 042 Ring to and pre-order:

E bars and restaurant guide

CHI ESE RESTAURA T

SPECIAL LUNCHTIME MENU 12PM - 4PM STARTERS

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Fresh Baguettes, Paninis, Kebabs, Burgers, Pies and Pastries. Open Mon - Sat 11.00 - 16.00 and 18.00 - 22.00 Sun -11 - 16.

C/Torremolinos, La Cala. Tel: 618 181 507

Spring Roll, Special Salad, Chicken and Sweetcorn/Tomato/Hot and Sour Soup or Spare Ribs.

The Sussex Bar

MAIN COURSE

Beef with Blackbean/Oyster/Chinese Mushroom and Bamboo/Curry or Chicken with Cashew Nuts/Sweet and Sour/Curry or Prawns with Vegetables or Sweet and Sour Fish (Hake)

RICE AND NOODLES

Special House Fried Rice, Boiled Rice or Noodles with Soya Bean Sprouts or Chips

DESSERTS

Coffee, Tea, Ice Cream, Cream Caramel or Fruit Main restaurant serving usual delicacies 6pm - 12pm

Jardin Botanico, Local 16, La Cala de Mijas. Tel: 952 599 236. Mob: 685 578 743

Food served 10am -10pm. Sunday Lunch 1pm - 9pm. Thursday quiz night, Friday darts league, Saturdays Karaoke. La Cortijera. La Cala.

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Friendly Atmosphere, Family Bar, Children Welcome

KID’S MEAL DEAL €3.89 -

Choose from Sausage, Hot dog, Chicken nuggets,

Fish fingers or Burger all served with Chips and including Soft Drink, Ice Cream or Chock Stick.

BIGGEST ROAST ON THE COAST 2 MEAL DEAL - Choose any two meals for just €10

Great places to eat and drink in La Cala

HONG KONG

Sandi

(Monday to Saturdays) Buy two glasses of wine €4 or buy the bottle for just €5.99

Thursday Night - Quiz Nights, Friday Night - Bingo Two large, sunny terraces. Pool Table Internet access All live sport shown. Happy Hour 5pm-7pm Monday - Friday Las Adelfas No.11 Urb. Los Claveles

Tel: 952 493 763

Snack Attack Cafe - Bar

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Due to popular demand Snack Attack is now open on Sundays 10am - 4pm for Breakfast, Lunch and our popular ROAST DINNER 2 courses for only 10 €

GREAT VALUE BREAKFAST ONLY 3.95€

LUNCH TIME SPECIALS (changes daily) KITCHEN NOW OPEN UNTIL 6PM Early EVENING TAPAS AVAilable

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Open from 7.30 for Quality Breakfast, Lunch and Sandwiches

Everything available as take away for days out Why not take a baguette of your choice to the Local 26 Jardín Botánico, beach or airport? La Cala de Mijas NOW IN OUR 6 T H YEAR Tel: 952 493 184

On the Sunny Side of the Street

W h a t ’s O n Quiz Night - 10.00, Bunkers Bar Bistro, Miraflores Driving Range. Karaoke - Fools bar. El Zoco, Calahonda.

Wednesdays

Quiz Night - Captains Bar, La Cala. Bingo & Quiz - 10pm Bunkers Bar Bistro, Miraflores Driving Range. Indian & Chinease Night -The Far Isle, Authentic Indian or Chinese Cuisine.

Fridays

Karaoke - “Paul the Bear” Bar Shenanigans, 9.30pm Riviera del Sol. Karaoke - Tony’s Bar, La Cortijera, La Cala.

Thursdays

Tuesdays

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Live Sports - Bar Shenanigans, Riviera del Sol. Live Music - Bunkers Bar Bistro, Miraflores Driving Range.

(alternate weeks). Steak Night & live music. €21.95 Karl Knight Or Gary Young - Vista del Mar. Karaoke - 9pm, Charleys Bar, Riviera del Sol. Quiz Night - JJ’s Bar, Riviera del Sol. Sussex Bar, La Cala. Karaoke - Fools Bar, El Zoco, Calahonda. Karaoke - Sisters Bar, The Strip, Calahonda. Quiz - 80’s Quiz. Sisters Bar, The Strip, Calahonda. One Man Show - Karl Knight Thu 3rd & 17th, Vista Del Mar.

Mondays

A ST

La Cala

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Dine & Dance - New A la carte menue Plus live music from Gary Young & Karl Knight

great places to eat, drink and be entertained.

Your Entertainment Guide

Continued on page 48

Riviera del Sol

E AZ IN AG Nemos Bar

ADVERTISE YOUR BAR OR RESTAURANT HERE

www.rincondeelpadrino.com

Just

€20 a month

Telephone: 663 061 669

Front line Fuengirola port. Open all day. 6 days a week. Pool table and Sky Sports.

Fuengirola

Sit ‘n’ Go sports lounge broadcasting all the weekly action in comfortable, friendly surroundings. Open daily from 1pm until midnight. Wi-fi internet access. Frontline C.C.Calypso.

Calypso

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Sit ‘n’ Go

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THURSDAY KARAOKE 8.30pm SATURDAYS CABARET 8.30pm

Tel: 952 932 519

41 & 42, 1ST FLOOR CENTRO COMMERCIAL LOS JARALES, CALAHONDA

ADVERTISE YOUR BAR OR RESTAURANT HERE

Telephone: 663 061 669

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Harrys Sports Bar

All live sports and premiere league football. Six TV’s and big screen. Full menu, Sunday roast and homemade tapas. Large sun terrace. Open 10amlate, seven days a week. Upstairs Los Jarales.

Sisters Bar

Calahonda

E great places to eat and drink

Los Jarales

Play world famous Texas Holdʼem Poker. From beginners to pros, we have games to suit everyone

Friendly family bar with good food, tapas, live entertainment, karaoke and sports. Open seven days a week. The Strip, Calahonda Tel: 952 939 579

Just €35 a month

Fools Bar

Italian Restaurant

Small friendly bar. Daily sport. Karaoke on Tues and Thursday. All football matches shown. First floor El Zoco (corner) Tel: 952 935 340

663 061 669

month

For before and after dinner drinks. Live music Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Open every evening until late. El Zoco First floor, Sito de Calahonda. Mijas Costa.

€20 a

Trafalgar Cocktail Bar

Just

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Italian restaurant. Taste the genuine Italian food in attractive decor. Open seven days a week, 1pm till late. C.C. El Zoco, first floor, Sitio de Calahonda. Tel: 952 932 042

ADVERTISE YOUR BAR OR RESTAURANT HERE Telephone:

E El Zoco, Calahonda

Villa Paradiso - Open since 1989

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The Wessex Bar

Torreblanca

Warm Friendly Atmosphere, Great Value For Money Full daytime menu Great value breakfast only 3.50 including drink Homemade 100% beefburgers Daily drinks specials Sunday Roasts All food is homemade including our chips

Extensive evening menu All food freshly prepared to order Daily chefs specials OPEN 7 DAYS 10AM-LATE ON THE BEACH FRONT IN TORREBLANCA

PORTSIDE

Traditional and Vegetarian Fayre available including: Burgers, Lasagne, Currys, Chillis, Fresh salads, Homemade chips, All day breakfasts and much more. Quorn products, Childrens menu, and a selection of Desserts also available.

Everything direct from London Pie, Mash and Liquer Jellied Eels, Dressed crab, Whelks, Peeled prawns, Mussels, Winkles and much more! Eat In and Take Away Now supplying wholesale

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CAFE - BAR

E bars and restaurant guide

NOW AT

Open daily Tuesday Sunday 10.00 18.00 Frontline Fuengirola Port Marina. Tel: 672 028 226

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La Cr es a 単 ta Pe

The rural bar with the great atmosphere

Great food and Spanish tapas at Spanish prices!

Selection of fine wines and local beers.

Great places to eat and drink in Fuengirola

Cockles Seafood

Open 12 - Late 7 days Tel: 662 607 784 Between Hotel Byblos and Venta la Morena

Regular live entertainment and karaoke in English and Spanish. Every Thursday Argentinian BBQ 7.30 till 10 pm with Live Music. Saturday Night Live Music. Call for details. CAMINO DE COIN HOTEL RODINASON

VENTA LA MORENA

RIVER BED

DRAUGHT GUINNESS 3€ A PINT

ALL LIVE SPORTS SHOWN ON TWO LARGE SCREENS

STRONGBOW 3€ A PINT

FOUR LIVE MATCHES ON SATURDAYS

WORTHINGTONS 3€ A PINT

FULL MENU AVAILABLE TILL LATE

MAHOU CLASSIC 1€

SUNDAY LUNCH, PORK, CHICKEN OR BEEF 2 COUSES €8

MENU OF THE DAY €5

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CARLING 2.50€ A PINT

BREAKFAST SPECIAL €5 MENU OF THE DAY €5

ESTRELLA GALACIA €1 SPIRIT AND MIXERS €3 ALL DAY 7 DAYS A WEEK BACON TOASTIE €1 BACON BAGUETTE €2

Probably The Cheapest Bar On The Coast Large Sunny Terrace FOR BOOKINGS CALL: 634 670 553 C.C Los Jarales, Mijas Costa

Los Jarales

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Sports - Cafe Bar

great places to eat and drink

THE PIT STOP

W h a t ’s O n Saturdays

Sundays

Sunday Roast & Live Music - Vista Del Mar. ‘Probably’ the Best Sunday Lunch on the Costa €10.95 Plus live music with Gary Young. Live Entertainment - Mad Terry, from 5pm Shaggys, Fuengirola Port, Courtyard. Bingo - 10.00 Bunkers Bar, Miraflores. Sunday Roast - 1pm - 10pm, The Far Isle, Riviera del Sol. Live Music - 9pm, Charleys Bar, Riviera del Sol.

Cabaret - Dalton 9.30pm, Shenanigans, Riviera del Sol. Karaoke - Sister Bar. The Strip, Calahonda. Live Music - with Dave the Brave. Tony’s Bar, La Cortijera, La Cala Karaoke - Sisters Bar, The Strip, Calahonda. Live music - Trafalgar bar, El Zoco, Calahonda.

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Bingo - Captains Bar, La Cala Dart League - Sussex Bar, La Cortijera, La Cala. Live Music - Trafalgar Bar, El Zoco. Fish and Chip Night - The Far Isle, Riviera del Sol. Live Music - Vista del Mar, Paul Weaver as Elvis & Tina Turner - 30th. A Must See!!

All Live Sports - 5.30 - 9.45 Bunkers Bar Bistro, Miraflores Driving Range. Cabaret Night - Vista Del Mar. 3 course set meal and 3rd Flemenco, 10th Shirley Bassey, 17th The Blues Brothers (Back !!), 24th Dave Lee as Deano, 31st Amanda Rosa.

Fridays ‘cont’

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Nueva Andalucia

WxÄ|@|v|Éâá

great places to eat, drink and be entertained

Your Entertainment Guide

Freshly Cooked Continental Deli Style Food and Desserts

Sunday roast Menu of the day 9€ Mon - Sat Fresh smoothies and juices All day breakfast Outside catering Open 7 days a week Home made cakes to order Sandwich bar Home made desserts Take away service available Outside sunny terrace

WxÄ|@|v|Éâá Tel: 952 907 876 Calle Califa No 1, Edif. Maestranza, Nueva Andalucia, Marbella.

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E AZ IN AG M K LI N A ST O

Fine Indian Cuisine Restaurant and Take Away Open from 6pm - Midnight

Tel: 902 Indian(902 463 426)

CLMÂŠ2008

E AZ IN AG M K LI N A ST O

C Mughal Village Urb. Torrenueva, Mijas Costa Fine Indian Cuisine. Restaurant and Take Away Open from 6pm - Midnight Tel: 902 463 426

Traditional Chinese Food. Takeaway menu. Special lunch menu only €6.95. Open 12.00-16.00 and 18.30-24.00 everyday. Riviera Commercial. Tel: 952 931 737

Papa Luigi

Traditional Italian food. Fresh pasta, wood burning pizza oven, Open every day 12 - 11. Riviera Commercial, Tel: 952 934 496

E bars and restaurant guide

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Golden Sun

Great places to eat and drink in Riviera del Sol & Miraflores

Family Bar Internet Quizzes and Karaoke Live Entertainment Pool Tables Games Machines Open for Food Closed Tuesdays Beachside, Riviera del Sol Tel: 952 935 676

CHARLEY’S BAR & RESTAURANT

UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT

SUNDAY ROAST with Fresh Veg & Yorkshire Pud & Dessert for just 10€ Adults & 4.50€ Children NEW DAY & EVENING MENUS & DAILY SPECIALS SNACKS & TAKEAWAY AVAILABLE ALL DAY OPEN EVERYDAY SUNNY TERRACE, SEA VIEWS & SKY SPORTS. Live Entertainment - Sunday, Cash Bingo Tuesday, Karaoke - Thursday. All from 9pm

Tel: 615 315 605

1ST FLOOR RIVIERA COMMERCIAL (NEAR THE CHEMISTS), RIVIERA DEL SOL, MIJAS COSTA.

Great places to eat and drink in Riviera del Sol & Miraflores

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the terrace.

Freshly Cooked Versatile Menu. Warm Friendly Atmosphere. Above Shenanigans, Beachside, Riviera del Sol Tel: 952 935 039. Closed Tuesdays.

JJ’s Bar

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Bunkers Bar Bistro

RIVIERA DEL SOL

Breakfast, brunches, evening dinner and BBQ open 7 days a week from 10am. Wi-fi internet connection. Terrace available for private functions. Miraflores Driving Range. Tel: 952 939 381

C Specialists in Argentinian grilled meat. Take away. Open daily 10.00 - 23.00. Closed Tuesdays. Las Terrazas de Miraflores Tel: 952 930 649

WITH LARGE SUNNY TERRACE AND FANTASTIC VIEWS OVER THE MED. LIVE SPORT FUN QUIZ NIGHTS - THURS MUSIC NIGHTS Avenida del Golf

SMALL FRIENDLY BAR

bars and restaurant guide

Beautiful panoramic sea and beach views from

Riviera del sol JJ’s Bar

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Covering Costa del Sol & Gibraltar

Weekly Cleaning

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One Off Cleans

Laundry and Ironing Shopping Service

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Key-Holding Service Grounds & Property

Maintenance Property Patrols Inspection Visits Boat Checks DNA Property Marking.

Call 0034 666 701 735 (Spain) for a free quote or our U.K. Office: 0044 (0)844 561 7030 Email:Platinumprotec@aol.co.uk

HALLOWEEN AT KIDZ KINGDOM.

SATURDAY 31ST OCTOBER 2009

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If you didn’t get to the kids favourite ball park on the coast this summer, then you really missed a treat with their fun packed summer themed events. But the summer’s history for 2009 and the kids are back at School. “Hurrah” I hear many of you parents shouting. So with this year’s schoolbooks and uniforms in your shopping trolleys we’ll soon be back to a bit of normality. But all is not dull on the horizon. Kidz Kingdom, or KK should I say, as has been dubbed by most, has plenty more for you to look forward to this season. KK, has been tipped for the only place to be seen this Halloween. If you were there last year then you’ll certainly know what I mean. So don’t miss a trick this October 31st as I’m sure they’ll be plenty of treats to go around for everyone. It’s Thriller themed and rumour has it that Stagecoach are putting on a special surprise performance for the evening. I can only say that with all the gusto that KK usually put into their events, you really won’t want to miss this one.

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NEW FOR WINTER ’09 TODDLER MORNINGS WITH BARNEY

If any of you have little ones or pre-schoolers, then you must try their Baby and Toddler Mornings. (Every Tue & Thu 11am – 1pm). You can use the whole facility without the worry of the bigger and more boisterous children around, after which everyone gathers in the toddler area for some action songs to Music with Ally. The little ones love it and begin joining-in in no time at all. It’s a great place to meet other mums too and the majority, I myself have witnessed, are still there eating and socialising past 2pm. But that’s not all, their well kept secret is finally out of the bag and during these hours, from October ’09 there’s going to be special visits from your children’s favourite Dinosaur ‘Barney’. Kidz Kingdom. N340 KM 166.2, Bel Air, Estepona 29680, Malaga. Tel. 952 928 936

Euro English

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In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. The government will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent “e” ‘s in the language is disgraceful, and they should go away. By the fourth yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaiining “ou” and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

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The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase in plan that would be known as “EuroEnglish”: In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of the “k”. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with the “f”. This will make words like “fotograf” 20% shorter.

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The Assassin Test

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Finally, it was the woman’s turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow. “This gun is loaded with blanks”, she said. “I had to beat him to death with the chair.”

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about

five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.” The agent said, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.”

The MI6 had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done, there were three finalists. two men and a woman. For the final test, the MI6 agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. “We must know that you will follow our instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!!!” The man said, “You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife.” The agent said, “Then you’re not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.”

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The Accident Repor t

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Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow decent of the 300 pounds of tools. You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form, that I weigh only 11stone.

Due to my surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say,

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I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80 foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now un-needed tools and material

down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using a pulley, which fortunately was attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower.

Dear Sir, I am writing in response to your request for additional information for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put “poor planning” as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient.

‘Continued page 62’

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The Accident Repor t

I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me... I again lost my presence of mind. I let go of the rope.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20

In the vicinity of the 40 foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles and the lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.

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Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain.

pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower.

I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40 foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone.

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Puzzle It Out

Solutions on page 98

Quick Crossword

Down 2.Intense (5) 3.Aromatic herb (4) 4.Capable of being cultivated (6) 5.Retains (5) 6.Epicure (10) 7.Riotous (10) 12.Spanish dance (6) 14.Cake topping (5) 16.Earlier (5) 17.Prejudice (4)

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Across 1.Anteater (8) 8.Common (5) 9.Regions (5) 10.Employed (4) 11.Nearer (6) 13.Sartor (6) 15.Overt (4) 18.Mediterranea n fruit (5) 19.Dialect (5) 20.List of technical terms (8)

Picture Puzzles

Sudoku

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Can you work out what common phrases or sayings these pictures represent?

Say What You See... EILN PU

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Strange but true... Using pumpkins as lanterns at Halloween is based on an ancient Celtic custom brought to America by Irish immigrants.

The word "Halloween" appeared in the Dictionary in the 1700s.

The largest pumpkin grown was recorded on October 2, 2004 weighing 1,446 pounds.

More than 93 percent of children go trickor-treating each year.

The name "pumpkin" comes from the Greek word "pepon," meaning melon.

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According to ancient superstitions, if you stare into a mirror at midnight on Halloween, you'll see your future spouse.

The carving of jack-o'-lanterns originated from the tradition of carving the faces of lost souls into hollowed out pumpkins and turnips. A candle was placed inside the carvings making the faces glow. The Halloween lanterns were placed on doorsteps to ward off evil spirits.

Dunking for apples arose from a practice of divining the future. It was believed that if you could hold an apple between your teeth you would have a fulfilling romance with whomever you choose.

It is very rare for a full moon to occur at the same time as Halloween. It has only occurred in 1925, 1944, 1955, and 1974. The next time it is said to occur is in 2020.

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For more information on any of the above, please call teleweb on: 952 833 300 or email: info@teleweb-marbella.

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Discover the Rio Grande Valley on horseback, go back in time, ride along stunning mountain trails where eagles and red winged kites fly over head, set out from ‘Ride With Me’ at Rancho Bravo, near Coín, with its impressive landscapes, mountains and rich historic culture it is a paradise for those who love horseback riding. This is why ‘Ride With Me’ decided to create one of the most complete horseback riding adventures in Andalucia. It is essential that you have a certain experience with horse back riding. Sensible hands and strong legs are important for horse and rider to feel comfortable with each other. Kalle says, “our horses are mostly cross breeds: SpanishArabic and of course our P-R-E Stallions that we are proud of and can offer to good experienced riders. Accommodation is also offered at the 150 year old cortijo, which has a lot of character and history. For more informaton, visit the website www.ride-inspain.com call 667 541 414 or Email: info@ride-in-spain.com What are you waiting for? Come and ride with me!

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Things That Make You Go....MMM Whitches Brew

‘Pea & Bacon Chowder’

We love this soup all through the year, but it really comes into its own at Halloween.

Ingredients

in three-quarters of the petit pois, then pour in the stock. Bring to the boil and simmer for 10-12 mins. Meanwhile, grill the bacon until crisp. 2. Allow to cool for a few mins, then carefully transfer to a food processor and whizz until smooth. 3. Return the soup to the pan and add the remaining petit pois. Bring to the boil and simmer for 2 mins or until the whole peas are tender. Season to taste, then stir in the butter. Break the bacon into pieces and scatter over bowls or mugs of soup. The soup can be made up to a day ahead; just grill the bacon on the day.

onion, finely chopped 1 garlic clove, crushed 650g frozen petits pois 750ml vegetable stock 6 rashers streaky bacon 1 tbsp butter, optional Method

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1. Heat the oil in a saucepan. Add the onion and gently cook over a medium heat for 56 mins until softened but not coloured. Add the garlic and cook for a further minute. Stir

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1 tbsp olive oil

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Only In The Movies

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When it appears that you have killed the monster, ‘never’ check to see if it's really dead. Do not search the cellar, especially if the power has just gone out. Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any device made from deceased companions. If appliances start operating by themselves, move out. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know or if they speak to you using a voice which is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. If you’re running from the

monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it’s still moving fast enough to catch up with you. When you have the benefit of numbers, ‘never’ pair off and go it alone. As a general rule, don’t solve puzzles that open portals to Hell. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke. If your car runs out of petrol at night; do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you find a town which looks deserted, it’s probably for a reason. Take the hint and stay away! Don’t fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you’re sure you know what you are doing. Finally, when you find a corpse in the back garden, don’t take ‘anything’ from it.

Here are a few important reminders I thought I better share with you for this Halloween that I’ve learnt from the movies!

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Golf Tips And Tricks The Short Putt by Mark Sibley of Miraflores Golf Academy

Always be positive with the short putt and then you wont see yourself missing.

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Police are called to an apartment and find a man standing, holding a 5-iron in his hands, looking at the lifeless body of a woman on the ground. The detective asks, "Sir, is that your wife?" "Yes." "Did you hit her with that golf club?" "Yes. Yes, I did," the man answers. He stifles a sob, drops the club and puts his hands on his head. "How many times did you hit her?" "I dont know. Four, five. six, put me down for a four."

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The moment you look at a putt and tell yourself it can’t be missed it becomes a pressure putt to a lot of players. Burrows and slopes start to appear and before long that easy putt is creating a sweaty forehead and stiff grip, that’s just when you are telling yourself its easy, when your playing partner makes the statement that’s an easy one for the game we’ve got them now, and all a lot of players can then see is the ball not going in. Here are 2 practice points to develop a positive short putt routine that works, and you can trust.

Golfing About

Well my answer to that one would be that distance that when you look at it, you cannot imagine you will miss it, but inside you are surprised when it goes in.

First of all what do you call a short putt?

The Line

Unless the hole has been set into a slop on the green you will normally find burrow is not a problem, and aiming for the centre of the hole will give you more space to be wrong how many times have you aimed right edge and watched it lip out, short putt always aim at the centre it will give you room to be wrong try it on the practice green then take it to the golf course. The Weight Always give the ball a hard enough strike to hit the back edge of the hole this will give enough pace for the ball to stay on its line and get rid of that most common of bad short putts the ball to short.

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TWILIGHT GOLF ‘Call for details’

SANTA MARIA GOLF & COUNTRY CLUB Urb. Elviria, C.N.340 Km. 192 29604 Marbella (Malaga) Tel: 952 831 036 Fax: 952 834 797 E-Mail: caddymaster@santamariagolfclub.com Website: www.santamariagolfclub.com

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WINTER 2009: 1ST OCT TO 3OTH NOV

Funny five Minutes

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Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, getting in and out past security, he was captured only streets away when his Eco car ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied; (brace yourself, this is really bad.) “I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.” (Told you!)

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Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. The first said, “I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered.” The second said, “I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order.” The third said, “I like to operate on electricians. You

open them up and everything inside is colour-coded.” The fourth one said, “I like to operate on Cabinet Ministers. They’re heartless spineless, gutless, and their heads and their ass are interchangeable.”

A lawyer and his brother were hunting. A mountain lion jumped out in front of them and started snarling. The brother said “What should we do?” The lawyer said “I’m gonna run for it.” The brother said “You can’t outrun a mountain lion!” The lawyer said “I don’t have to outrun him... I only have to outrun You.”

La Cala de Mijas

No ob quo ligatio tatio n n

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Ta i l o r m a d e f u r n i t u r e p a c k a g e s & m a k e o v e r s o l u t i o n s

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HAIR & BEAUTY SPA

GEL OR ACRYLIC NAILS Full Set - only 42 euros Infills - only 28 euros

FULL HEAD FOIL HIGHLIGHTS Cut and blowdry and a hands or feet tidy and paint. Only 80 euros. Introduce a friend and you will both receive 10â&#x201A;Ź off your next treatment. Offers are available until the end of October Excluding Wednesdays.

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What ’s New

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all your Nail surgery, Corns, Callus, and painful heels ring 952 931 777 or Mobile 686 518 221 for home visits. Alanda Clubmarbella & Club Light Health club offering Personal Training, Group Training, Classes - Pilates, yoga, kids classes, Body toning & much more, Jacuzzi, Sauna & Massage, Call Kevin now on 692 814 314 or visit www.clublight.net for a free 1 day pass. Kidz Kingdom - Baby & Toddler mornings every Tuesday & Thursdays 11am to 1pm, why not come to our Halloween Party ages 0-6 3pm - 6pm/ages 6-11 6pm to late its gonna be a thriller of a night book now on 952 928 936 or visit www.kidzkingdom.eu

The Soap Opera Laundry - Have your quilts cleaned and freshened ready for those cold winter nights. Special offer, Single 8€, king size and doubles 10€ call 607 787 075 or visit us in Riviera de Sol behind Opencor. Get It Home - The immediate collection and delivery service one flat rate between Marbella to Torremolinos only 30€ one collection, one delivery, one item, ring 665 226 041. Hair Magic - Specialists in Hair extensions from 300€, Nail Gel & Acrylics 45€ full set, Special Offers 10% for Senior Citizens (excludes Friday), Hi Lites cut & blow dry 75€ call for appointment on 952 931 777. Also Wendy a Surgical Chiropodist offers home visits or visit her at Hair Magic for

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Cocktails Ghoul Punch - for the kids

This brew has a real bite to it.

The grapes and apples will look just like eyes and teeth. Make a swizzle broomsticks for each cup, with a straw and black paper cut into a fringe.

Ingredients

2 oz Vodka

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Vampireâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Kiss - for the adults

Ingredients

1/2 oz Dry Gin

3 pints Purple Grape Juice

1/2 oz Dry Vermouth

1 1/2 pints Club Soda

1 tblsp Tequila

Grapes

1 pinch Salt

Apples

2 oz Tomato juice

Method

Mix the grape juice and soda in a pitcher. Cut the apple into small chunks. Float the fruit in the brew just before serving.

Computing Marbella

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ECLIPSE

Shake well with ice. Strain over ice in an old fashined glass

Professional Advice from Microsoft Qualified Engineers From Business to Home user All Repairs, Upgrades & performance enhancements available. New PC and Laptops available at Fantastic prices !!

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SAMPSON is a Mastin of approx 2 years old. Hes a gentle giant. No problems with other dogs or cats. Please call: 620354 885.

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Here’s one I heard on the radio from a woman who told her story about seeing a ghost, which is scary: A few years ago, the

woman and her family had just moved to a new house somewhere in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia. One night, her baby son was crying so she got out of bed and went to see him. Suddenly, the baby stopped crying. The woman knew that he must have fallen asleep so she went back to bed. A few hours later, the baby cried again, so she got up and went over to check again. As she opened the door to her son’s room, she saw a boy, about 6 or 7 years old, calming the baby down. When he saw the woman, he disappeared. The woman was shocked and later told her neighbours what happened. The neighbours already knew about the ghost and told her that there was a boy who died from an illness, about 80 years ago, and was buried under the exact place where her baby son’s room is.

There was this couple in Scotland who had just moved into an old castle. When they moved in, they decided to empty out the cellar and found this large barrel of brandy. They tried moving it and even got a few friends around to help, but they couldn't budge it. In the end, they decided to have a housewarming party and give glasses of brandy out to empty the barrel and make it easier to move. A few days after the party, they went into the cellar and tried to move the barrel again. It still wouldn’t move. The husband went to get his saw in order to cut it into smaller pieces, and in turn’s they cut off the top of the barrel. Inside was a dead body.

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NEW OFFEX MAILPOINTS Stop & Buy, Centro Commercial, La Glarea Park, Estepona, Tel: 951 277 444 Videola. Gallerias Paniagu, San Roque, Sotogrande Tel: 956 796 021 Elviria - Macey's coffee shop - (same complex as Open Cor) Guadalmina - Tricky Ricky's coffee shop (next to Barclays Bank) To locate you nearest mail point please contact:Tel: 951 242 772 (09h00 -14h00) 676 502 347 (A/Hours) 202 Marbella Business Centre, Elviria, 29604 Email: marbella@offexspain.com

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a lightbulb.” The doctor looks up and notices Patient 2’s face is going all red. The doctor asks Patient 1, “If he’s your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself” Patient 1 replies, “What? And work in the dark?”

An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, “I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample.” The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells: “WHAT?” “What did he say? What’s he want? His wife yells back, “He needs your underwear.” A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in. “OK, follow me” he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through the valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him. “Now, do you see that tree over there?” he asked. “Yes, Yes, Yes!” the bats all screamed in a frenzy. “Good” said the bat, “Because I sure as hell didn’t!”

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A man buys a pet parrot and brings him home. But the parrot starts insulting him and gets really nasty, so the man picks up the parrot and tosses him into the freezer to teach him a lesson. He hears the bird squawking for a few minutes, but all of a sudden the parrot is quiet. The man opens the freezer door, the parrot walks out, looks up at him and says, “I apologise for offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness. The man says, “Well, thank you. I forgive you.” The parrot pauses for a moment, then says, “If you don’t mind me asking, what did the chicken do?”

A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient’s room. He found Patient 1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half. Patient 2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet. The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing. The patient replied, “Can’t you see I’m sawing this piece of wood in half?” The doctor inquired of Patient 1 what Patient 2 was doing. Patient 1 replied, “Oh. He’s my friend, but he’s a little crazy. He thinks he’s

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen.” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, “That driver just insulted me!” The man says, “You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

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S TA R S I GN S

A look at what's in store for you during October...

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Gemini

A O

Taurus

Strong undercurrents from other people are making you feel a little on edge. You should be able to smooth over any brewing trouble with soothing words that just roll off the tongue. someone special is seduced by your pleasing manner and those dulcet tones.

You're determined to set the world on fire in October. The passion and ferocity of Mars and Pluto join up with your ruler Venus this month giving you the power to set pulses racing. This is an important month in an important year for you. Make the most of every opportunity.

You start the month focused and wanting to be taken seriously. Your methodical approach makes this an ideal time to deal with officials. Things will soon lighten up for you. you could find yourself acting in a way that surprises everyone as well as you.

A powerful and meaningful connection with someone is on the cards. Your ruler Pluto in harmony with Mars and Venus meanslove and passion in equal measures. You will be tempted to take a big financial risk this month, but practice caution, there are no guarantees.

Libra

Aries

Tempers and temperatures are set to soar into the stratosphere, which could see you clashing with your nearest and dearest. A better way to channel this energy is into love, especially in the middle of the month. By the end your energy levels will settle.

Your at your most charming. You adore attention but you're generous with praise too. It'll leave you walking on cloud nine. You're in for some sizzle this October with an equally fiery partner and there could be a connection with foreign places too.

AG Virgo

Pisces

October is a good month to pour your energy into sorting out money matters and embarking on schemes that will see your cash working harder for you. Money equals freedom for you this month. Be careful not to fall for the charms of sweet talkers.

Leo

Aquarius

Arguments are possible. Day to day activities and getting about your normal routine, could be fraught with complications. Relationships have taken a serious turn, and this will become a focus of the month, but you should start seeing the situation more clearly.

Cancer

You're full of life this month, There's a chance you'll be getting little in return for all your gallant efforts. This can be frustrating but a bright idea at the end of the month will help you find a solution to this. make the most of those midnight fiestas.

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The month begins with a feeling of harmony and you are more confident about your financial circumstances. As the month moves forward the possibility of tension Capricorn between your work and domestic life increases, but any challenges you face are a positive thing.

Keeping a watchful eye on the cash flow can be dreary but don't despair you'll be glad you saved. You can expect to feel the heat in more ways than one. So you will soon find your love life reaching boiling point. Your intellect is sharp now so use it to your advantage.

Scorpio

You're feeling wonderfully energized as the month starts.Watch out for ego clashes with other strong personalities who also want the limelight. You will be embroiled Sagittarius in heated exchanges with individuals for whom you can barely disguise your passion.

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ThelReviews c osta ink directory Advertise Your business in the costa link directory for just 65 euros for 12 issues that’s just over 5 euros a month!!!

Drain services

Euro Drain Services

CCTV surveys, Drain jetting, Septic tanks, Soakaway Installations. Fast and Effective 24hr blocked drain clearance. Call Darren 629 640 754 All areas.

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Building Supplies

Aim Building Supplies

Las Chapas Poligono, Elviria, Marbella. Tel: 952 835 172

Car Traders

Alhaurin Autos

Cars bought and sold. LHD and RHD. Alhaurin el Grande. Tel: 661 964 014

Cleaning ‘We Care to Clean and We Clean to Care’ for your domestic property. Daily/Weekly cleans, Spring cleans, ‘One offs’, Moving house cleans and End of tenancy cleans. Contact Karen: 677 553 647 karencox@live.co.uk

The Boat House El Zoco Calahonda. Mijas Costa’s premier Fish & Chip Restaurant and takeaway. The best Fish & Chips on the Coast. Tel: 952930148 Open 7 nights a week

Permanent make-up. Eyeliner, eyebrows and lips. Free consultation. Fully insured worldwide. Member of SPCP. Call: 666 094 075

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Alhaurin el Grande, for Inks, Sales - Repairs & Upgrades.Virus & Spyware Removal Open 10 - 6 Mon - Friday No Siesta. Saturday 10 - 2 Tel: 952 596 346 or Skype: mintmicro.support Email: info@mintmicro.es

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Computer Repairs & Sales

Accountant Malcolm Greenwood. Company formations from €750, business valuations, business start up, sole proprietors (autonomo), bookeeping from €55 per month. Tel: 952 59 69 27

Electrician 16th Edition BS7671 qualified, Apprentice trained, 21 years experience. Rewires, extra sockets, lights, fault finding etc. Pay as you go electric meters supplied and fitted, ideal for holiday lets, aircon etc. Ian: 650 151 569

Estate & Rental Agents www.spanserv.com Property for sale or rent. Horses for sale, Discussion forum. Tel: 616 218 617 or 619 638 498

Fitness

The Fitness Studio Calahonda offering, Aerobic 4 mums n Babies, Spin, Body Tone, Aerobox, Pilates, Yoga, K Boxing, dance & more! 637118 848 fitnessstudio@terra.es

Gardener 8 years in Spain, hedges and palms pruned & planted, turfing & fencing, tall trees a speciality. Properties tidied, monthly maintenance from 30€. Call Steve: 616 669 285

Glass Curtains RDMC Glass manufacturers and glass curtain and stainless steel specialists. Nave 16, Camino de Coin. Tel: 952 477 963

Elite Glass Curtains. Poligono Elviria 26 Elviria, 29600. Tel: 952 830 503

Hairdressers Hair Magic Calypso. Tel: 952 931 777

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Kitchens & Bedrooms The Kitchen Kompany Kitchen manufacturers, trade prices. New showroom in Riviera del Sol. over 50 different styles of kitchen. Tel: 651 599 173 www.thekk.net

Painters

Professional painting. Interior and exterior and decorative painting. www.artdecoxxiplus.com Tel: 667 235 741 after 3p.m.

Photography

Jennifer Jane

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Quartet Kitchens Design and quotation service for all your kitchen needs. Tel: 951 704 594

Lawyers

VELASCO Y BALBÁS ABOGADOS Conveyancing Rentals Debt Collection Inheritance and Wills Insurances Litigation. Tel: 952 808 477 Fax: 952 808 724

Avd. España 220, 3ºC, 29680, Estepona.

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Photography for all occasions. Weddings, Birthdays, Portraits, and Commercial. All events covered. Tel: 661 194 653 www.byjenniferjane.com

Printing & Signage Eyeprint Business cards, flyers, signage, display stands. Tel: 951 310 395

Removals Companies

Locksmiths

Locksmith 24Hour Tel: 666 089 427 www.knockoutlocks.com 24 hour emergency locksmith. Patio doors secured,

Kings Klub

Sky Installations, all viewing cards, digiboxes, Sky and Sky HD, dishes and re-alignments, community systems, parts and labour guaranteed for 1 year. Tel: 951 273 538 www.kingsklub.com

GB TV Sky installation within 24 hours. Sky cards, re-alignments and activations Tel: 658 084 802 or 658 084 806.

Security Fortress Security All steelwork. Grills, gates, fences, balconies, garage doors. Tel: 952 931 128

Tile Warehouse Hard Rock Tile showroom and warehouse. Kitchens and appliances, bathrooms, marble, granite and paint. Tel: 951 275 257

Windows & Doors

The Depot

Windows Direct

International and local removal specialists. Tel: 952 450 487

PVC, Aluminium windows, doors, conservatories and glass curtains. Edf. Los Pinos, Elviria. Tel: 951 704 594 or 666 094 072. www.windows-direct.eu

Retaining Walls

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Satellite TV

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Marble Floor Polishing

modular block programme. Affordable and maintenance free. Call: 952 666 547

Broadband internet &

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CAR STICKER WINNER

Solutions From Page 64 Just Say What You See 1. Line up in alphabetic order. 2. Try to understand.

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Crossword Solution

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