December 2022 Costa Link Magazine

MARBELLA CRUISERS

You will know that Marbella Cruisers always negotiate their cruise prices with a minimum of 100 passengers. This secures ‘GROUP PRICES’ which are the ‘LOWEST CRUISE PRICES’ you can get. PLUS, and equally important, our prices always include dining, of course, in a choice of restaurants, plus all your drinks are always included at every bar and restaurant 24/7, and gratuities are included! Yes that is correct you don’t have to pay tips which most cruise lines now add to your final bill.

WE ARE WITH YOU THROUGHOUT THE CRUISE

If you are new to cruising, you will find our company, door to door’ can be quite helpful. We are available, at the same place on the ship, at the same time every day to answer questions and to help you make the most of everything the ship has to offer. On excursion days you will find us at the bottom of the ships exit gangway to show you to your coach and introduce you to your tour guide. When necessary we secure ‘GROUP’ discounts on hotels and we arrange coaches to take us from the hotel to the ship.

SAVING YOU BETWEEN £350 AND £600 PER PERSON PER CRUISE

When the saving on your cruise price is added to the discounts we get on our ‘GROUP EXCURSION’ prices the average saving per person, based on the last 700 passengers that booked with Marbella Cruisers, is between £350 and £600 per person depending on the duration of the cruise. (7 or 14 nights) There is no fee to join Marbella Cruisers, just a €50 organization/administration fee P.P on each cruise, to contribute to the advertising costs to ensure a minimum of 100 passengers on every cruise which then secures our ‘GROUP PRICE’. As soon as a cruise is announced we reserve a range of the best positioned cabins on a selection of the more popular decks and we negotiate hard.

YOUR CRUISE PAYMENTS ARE FINANCIALLY PROTECTED

Every cruise deposit and every cruise final payment is, for your protection, made to Travelfinders, a London based company, registered with all the relevant financial protection agencies and has been under the same ownership for 32 years. Every booking Marbella Cruisers has made over the past 5 years (that’s 700 passengers) has been through Travelfinders and not one complaint.

For more information including: cabin prices, dates, itinerary, transport & how to pay your deposit and secure your cabin… EMAIL: COLIN@MARBELLACRUISERS.com or see WWW.MARBELLACRUISERS.COM

the wiser! How quickly this year has flown by…. There have been several ups and downs throughout the year and the price of everything has defiantly shot up. So with all that said we would like to take this opportunity to thank all of our loyal advertisers and readers for your continued support. Enjoy this Christmas, and remember it isn’t all about the shopping, cooking, stressing yourself out… Take a step back and spend quality time with family and friends. If you’ve got that Christmas do lined up that will inevitably see you hugging the toilet like it your bestie the next day, check out our guide to “hangover cures” on page 64. Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a Happy, healthy & prosperous New 2023…. We hope you enjoy the festivities, love from the Costa Link Team xxx.

Laugh out

page

"You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle three things: A rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights." (Maya Angelou).

"Some shows simply can’t do Christmas specials because the content isn’t appropriate. You couldn’t have Christmas 'Embarrassing Bodies', could you? It wouldn’t work: “It smells of eggnog and I don’t know why”. (Sarah Millican).

"Christmas, here again. Let us raise a loving cup; Peace on earth, goodwill to men, and make them do the washing up." (Wendy Cope)

Christmas is... “Middle-class women becoming ridiculously competitive over how well prepared they are: ‘I make my mincemeat in August.’ ‘Really? I’m too busy with the cake in August.’ ‘Oh! Ha ha. I made my cake in 1985. Fifteen years and it matures to perfection. Amazed you’ve never tried it.’ (Miranda Hart).

HOT GOSSIP...

CELEBRITY XMAS PRESSIES...

10 OF THE MOST AMAZING PRESENTS EVER...The Christmas season is a time of giving and when you're a celebrity, Christmas morning can get a little over the top! With unlimited budgets & access to some pretty unique expe riences, stars have the capability to be as creative as they want....

1) Kim Kardashian, MATCHING CARS: When Kim Kardashian's daughter North was just sixmonths-old, she gifted her a mini Lamborghini car - and gave dad Kanye West the matching full size version. "Like father like daughter," Kim captioned an Instagram snap.

2) Dwayne Johnson, A HOUSE: For Christmas, Dwayne Johnson gifted his mother with the house of her choosing, anywhere in the world she wanted!

3) Kim Kardashian, SIX MINI LOUIS VUITTON BAGS: In 2018, Kim Kardashian purchased a vin tage mini Louis Vuitton bag for all the "baby girls" in the family. Each retailing for $1,000.

4) Nick Jonas, SKI-Doo

Gossip Showbiz

In 2019, Nick Jonas gifted his wife Priyanka

with her own snowmobile. A brand new Ski-Doo device, as shown in Priyanka's Insta snap, can easily cost $10,000, not to mention that it was driven to their door by Santa himself!

5) Justin Bieber, PRIVATE JET: Justin Bieber treated himself to the ultimate Christmas present when he was just 20 - his very own private jet!

Snowmobile:

Chopra

CON’T CELEBRITY XMAS PRESSIES...

10

OF THE MOST AMAZING PRESENTS EVER...

6) Luke Bryan, KANGAROOS: On Christmas day in 2017, Luke Bryan presented his wife Caroline with two adorable kangaroos to live on their rescue farm. Luke faced some back lash about keeping the wild animals as pets but hasn't ever spoken out about the situation.

7) Kevin Hart, WINTER WONDERLAND: Every year, Kevin Hart's family travels to Aspen for the holidays but one year when they were unable to make the trip, Kevin brought Aspen to Malibu. He created a winter wonderland in their California home, snow & sledding included!

8) Kris Jenner, Disneyland Memorabilia: In 2018, Kris Jenner got her daughter Kourtney the only present that's ever made her cry. She presented her eldest child with figurines from the It's A Small World ride at Disneyland.

9)

Gossip HOT GOSSIP...

10) Lady Gaga, A HORSE: Lady Gaga received a pony from her record team in 2015. She gave a heartfelt thanks you saying: “John Janick and Steve Berman, the whole Interscope family. I will ride, and care for, and love her forever. I was so surprised!”

John Legend, CHESSE (BIG CHEESE): In 2015 John Legend gifted Chrissy Teigen a huge wheel of cheese... Chrissy said: “John got me my lifetime dream for Christmas! A cheese wheel to dump pasta and risotto in for years to come!”

Beef is Better

When I was a young turkey, new to the coop, My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop, Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow... and he told me there was something that I had to know; His look and his tone I will always remember, When he told me of the horrors of..... Black November; "Come about August, now listen to me, Each day you'll get six meals instead of just three, "And soon you'll be thick, where once you were thin, And you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin; "And then one morn ing, when you're warm in your bed, In'll burst the farmer's wife, and hack off your head; "Then she'll pluck out all your feathers so you're bald 'n pink, And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin' in the sink; "And then comes the worst part" he said not bluffing, "She'll spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing". Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat, I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat, And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked, I'd have to lay low and remain overlooked; I began a new diet of nuts and granola, High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola; And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes, I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes; I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half, And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed; But 'twas I who was laughing, under my breath, As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death; And sure enough when Black November rolled around, I was the last turkey left in the entire com pound; So now I'm a pet in the farmer's wife's lap; I haven't a worry, so I eat and I nap; She held me today, while sewing and humming, And smiled at me and said "Christmas is coming..."

They're corny and seldom improve with the telling, but Christmas lunch wouldn't be complete without the chorus of groans that corny cracker jokes always provoke.

Here are some of the classics....

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claustrophobia!

What do they sing at a snowman's birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow.

Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can 'ho ho ho'!

What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas? Twerky!

What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?

Auld Fang Syne.

Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?

Because he had a low "elf" esteem!

What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? He got 25 days!

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas Quacker!

What is the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum, you just can't beat it!

How did Scrooge win the football game? The ghost of Christmas passed!

Who is Santa's favorite singer? Elf-is Presley!

What do Santa's little helpers learn at school? The elf-abet!

Did Rudolph go to school? No. He was Elf-taught!

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy!

What does Santa do with fat elves? He sends them to an Elf Farm!

What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas? It's Christmas, Eve!

How many letters are in the Christmas alphabet? 25. There’s "NO-EL"!

What's the most popular Christmas wine? 'I don't like Brussels sprouts!' We hope you have a cracking Christmas!

Have

KISS[kis] Swedish: kissa - Translation: to pee

The Swedish word for kiss is kyss, which makes trying to say “I want to give you a kiss” or “I need a kiss” extra precarious. What if you actually do need to kissa? Rather than saying “I need to pee,” you could always ask for the restroom (toalett).

PAYDAY [pey-dey] Portuguese: peidei - Translation: “I farted.”

Excited about payday? Most people would be. In Portuguese-speaking areas, though, you might want to avoid shouting it from the rooftops. The Portuguese phrase for payday is dia do pagamento, which literally means “day of payment.”

LULL [lul] Dutch: lul - Translation: penis

Does the sound of the rain help lull you to sleep? Have you finally reached a lull in your hectic week? You might want to avoid mentioning those things in the Netherlands.

GIFT [gift] German: gift - Translation: poison

You might get some funny looks if you tell your German-speaking friends you’re giving them a gift. Alternately, you should probably beware if you’re handed something labeled gift in Germany. Don’t eat any gift baskets of fruit or muffins or you could find yourself on the way to A&E.. Continued on page 22...

EMBARRASSED

A circus owner runs an advertisement for a LION TAMER WANTED and two people show up for an interview.

One is a retired golfer in his late-sixties and the other is a drop-dead, gorgeous brunette with a killer body in her mid 20’s.

The circus owner tells them, I'm not going to sugar coat it - this is one ferocious lion, he ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or you're history." Here's your equipment... a chair, a whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"

The gorgeous brunette says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. As he gets close, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful, perfect naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, he then starts to lick the gorgeous brunette all over suddenly he sheepishly crawls up to her and lays down to rest his head at her feet.

The circus owner's jaw is on the floor, and says "That's quite amazing... I've never seen anything like that in my life!"

He then turns to the retired golfer and asks, "Can you top that?" The old golfer replies, "Possibly... But you've got to get that lion out of there first."

CHRISTMAS SAUSAGE ROLL WREATH

This is a Christmas wreath of two halves. With Squash, Chestnut and Cranberry Rolls and a Cheesy Pastry Plait.

You can’t beat this as a bit of festive fun for Christmas Day or any other celebration!

Serves: 30 - Preparation: A tiny bit tricky Cooking time: 2 Hours 15 Mins

A MASSIVE FESTIVE SAUSAGE ROLL... BRING ON THE PARTY!

METHOD

INGREDIENTS

• ½ A cinnamon stick

• 1 Teaspoon coriander seeds

• 1 Pinch of dried chilli flakes

• 1.2 kg Squash

• Olive oil

• 10-12 Vac-packed cooked chestnuts

• 1 Small handful of dried cranberries

• 80 g Cheddar cheese

• 2 x 375 g Packets of ready-rolled all-butter puff pastryplain flour, for dusting

• 6 Cumberland sausages, (400g total)

• 1 Large free-range egg

• 1 Heaped teaspoon English mustard

• 1 Teaspoon sesame seeds

• 1 Teaspoon poppy seeds

• 2 Sprigs of fresh rosemary

• 5 Fresh bay leaves

STEP 1: Preheat the oven to 180°C/350°F/gas 4. Bash the cinnamon stick, coriander seeds and chilli flakes in a pestle and mortar with a pinch of black pepper until fine. STEP 2: Scrub and cut the squash in half lengthways then remove the seeds (see tip below). Cut each half into four, then transfer to a baking tray and drizzle over 2 tablespoons of olive oil, sprinkle with the seasoning and roast in the oven for 45 minutes to 1 hour, until soft and sweet. STEP 3: Remove the tray from the oven (leave the oven on) and set aside half of the roasted squash to use another day. Use a fork to mash the remaining squash (skin and all) in the tray, then crumble over the chestnuts and sprinkle with the cranberries. Grate over 30g of the Cheddar cheese and mix together. STEP 4: Unroll the puff pastry onto a flour-dusted surface, cut each piece in half lengthways (so you have 4 long pieces), then spoon the squash mixture along one piece of pastry and shape down the middle. STEP 5: Cut a slit along each sausage and squeeze the sausage meat out of the skins along the length of two pieces of the pastry, then shape down the middle (leaving you with one piece for the plait). Beat the egg with the mustard in a small bowl and brush over the exposed pastry, then fold it over the fillings and gently press out any air with your thumb. STEP 6: Trim the edges and use a flour-dipped fork to crimp and seal them, then cut one sausage roll into 8 and the other sausage roll into 16. Cut the squash and Cheddar roll into 16. STEP 7: Line 2 large baking trays with baking paper. Place a small bowl upside down in the centre of one of the trays and arrange the larger sausage rolls around it, leaving space in between each one. Then use the smaller sausage rolls to fill the gaps (as per the picture above). Remove the bowl and place the squash rolls in the centre. Any remaining rolls can be frozen for another time (see tip). Brush all the pastry with the remaining egg wash and sprinkle with the sesame and poppy seeds. Rub the rosemary sprigs and bay leaves with ½ a tablespoon of olive oil, then stick into the pastry around the wreath. STEP 8: To make the plait, cut the remaining pastry in half lengthways. Place the tip of the knife near the top of the pastry and cut each half into three lengthways, making sure it remains connected at the top. Grate over the rest of the Cheddar (50g) and then weave into two plaits. Pinch the ends together to join them up into one long plait and form into a circle, patting any cheese that falls off back onto the pastry. Place on the lined baking tray, then transfer both trays to the oven and bake for 30 to 35 minutes until golden, crisp and bubbling. Lay the plait above the wreath and decorate with ribbon or baubles, if you like, before serving.

TRICKY TRIVIA QUIZ

1) Who fronted the band “Culture Club”?

2) What does a bad workman always blame?

3) Which is more substantial, “Afternoon Tea” or “High Tea”?

4) In medicine what do the initials ENT mean?

5) In which soap would you find a garage known as “The Arches”?

6) What is an “Alto Cumulus”?

7) In which European country would you find Tuscany?

8) Name the busiest passenger ferry port in England?

9) What weapons are used in fencing?

10) What is the German word for “one”?

11) What is the world’s largest land mammal?

12) In which Scottish City would you find Sauchiehall Street?

13) Rio de Janeiro is a city in which South American country?

14) Which musician was known as “Satchmo”?

15) Which royal was once married to Lord Snowden?

16) What do the initials MEP stand for?

17) In children’s television, what creature was Otis?

18) In which country would you find the pine-scented wine “Retsina”?

19) What is Mozzarella?

20) In which country are Rhineland, Bavaria and Saxony?

21) Which Joan starred in “What ever happened to Baby Jane”?

22) Which part of your body does an orthodontist look after?

23) Is Sweden a Kingdom or a Republic?

24) What type of plant is

associated with a viticulturist?

25) Which film contains the song “Hi Ho”?

26) Which country won Eurovision 2017?

27) Which ice dance partnership performed to Ravel’s Bolero?

28) Which song contains the line “Feed the World”?

29) What is the name of Postman Pat’s pet cat?

30) Who wrote the book The Hound Of The Baskervilles?

31) What is the square root of 169?

32) According to the old proverb all roads lead to which capital city?

33) What gas do all fuels need in order to burn?

34) Which two colours are Dennis the Menace’s jumper?

Answers on page 82

~ Pasta was not eaten in Australia ~

~ Curry was a surname ~

~ A takeaway was a mathematical problem ~

~ A pizza was something to do with a leaning tower ~

~ All potato crisps were plain; the only choice was whether to put the salt on or not ~

~ Rice was only eaten as a milk pudding ~

~ Calamari was called squid and used it as fish bait ~

~ A Big Mac was what we wore when it was raining ~

~ Brown bread was something only poor people ate ~

~ Oil was for lubricating, fat was for cooking ~

~ Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and never green~

~ Sugar enjoyed a good press in those days, and was regarded as being white gold Cubed sugar was regarded as posh ~ contunued on page 30

CONTINENTAL CONSULTING LEGAL

IN SPAIN

Are you looking at buying a business on the Costa del Sol and need some free impartial advice?

If so then please make an appointment to meet us at our office in Fuengirola for a 1 hour free consultation. We can apply for your NIE, or residency for you, open bank accounts, register you for tax and social security all in clear English with no hidden extras. Please check our reviews on our face book page Continental Consulting. We are based in Fuengirola on the main street and are happy to visit you along the coast. Call 615 340 301 today.

~ None one had ever heard of yoghurt ~ ~ Prunes were medicinal ~ ~ Fish didn't have fingers in those days ~ ~ Eating raw fish was called poverty, not sushi ~ ~ Healthy food consisted of anything edible ~ ~ People who didn't peel potatoes were regarded as lazy ~ ~ Cooking outside was called camping ~ ~ Seaweed was not a recognised food ~ ~ “Kebab” was not even a word, never mind a food ~ ~ Surprisingly, muesli was readily available, it was called cattle feed ~ ~ Water came out of the tap. If someone had suggested bottling it and charging more than petrol for it, they would have become a laughingstock! ~ But the one thing they never ever had on the table in the sixties... Elbows, Ipads or Phones!

What’s On Guide...

11th November 2022 to 8th October 2023: Huge Lego Exhibition at the Factory Malaga Outlet. Covering an area of 1.500 m2, with 100’s of models and attractions for children and adults. For more info see: expopiezas.es or call 649 149 526

2nd to 4th December 2022: Peet Rothwell performs Michael Bublé hits... at the Teatro Salon Varieties. Nightly from 7:30pm, Sunday from 7pm. for more info see www.salonvarietestheatre.com.

5th December & 19th December 2022: Alzheimer’s Dementia Support Group at the Calahonda International Baptist Church, from 11:30am to 2pm for more info call 635 407 255 or 629 893 016.l

6th December 2022 to 5th January 2023: Christmas Market in Puerto Banús Marina from 11.00am everyday with musical penguins and much, much more next to the Control Tower.

6th December 2022 to 5th January 2023: Christmas Market in Benalmadena at the entrance of Puerto Marina everyday between 11am and 8pm.

10th to 11th December 2022: Christmas Concert, get yourselves into the Christmas Mood… at the Teatro Salon Varieties. Nightly from 7:30pm, Sunday from 7pm. for more information see www.salonvarietestheatre.com.

11th December: Malaga Marathon. The marathon is expected to attract some 4000 runners from all over Europe. Please see the website at http://zurichmaratonmalaga.es for more information.

17th December 2022 to the 5th January 2022: Cinderella the fun-filled family pantomime… At the Teatro Salon Varietes. Nightly from 7:30pm, Sunday from 7pm. for more info see www.salonva rietestheatre.com.

1st & 3rd Mondays: Alzheimer’s Dementia Support Group held at the Calahonda International Baptist Church, from 11:30am to 2pm for more information call 635 407 255 or 629 893 016.

Every Monday: Arts and Crafts Fair in Benahavis at 8pm in the Main Square in Benahavis.

Every 1st Tuesday: Age Concern Coffee Morning at Ricks Gin & Tonic bar, Estepona Port 11–1:30 p.m.

Every Tuesday: The Costa Women Coffee Club meet every second Tuesday at 10am – 12.30pm for coffee, chats and other activities and is a social group designed to get ladies of all ages together. It’s best to join the group via Facebook or contact Emma on 608 408 771.

Every Tuesday: Age Care Drop In Calahonda. Tuesdays: 11am – 1pm International Baptist Church, near Supersol Los Olivos , Calahonda.

Every Wednesday: The Cap Club (Charity & Please Club) now in its 29th year. Meet for coffee at the Chilli Restaurant in Benamara at 11.00am. The Club also runs monthly trips to Gibraltar, days out and monthly Sunday lunches. Please come and join us!

Every Thursday: Age Care Drop In Fuengirola, Hojar del Jubilado, Los Boliches Friday 11.00am12.30pm , Entrance Calle Fruita. 1st floor above the fruit market.

Every Thursday: Age Care Drop In Coin, La Peña, Calle Rio Guadelhorce 19, Poligono La Rosa, Alhaurin el Grande. Thursday 11am – 1pm.

Every Thursday: Picasso Museum, Malaga FREE ENTRY 5pm and 8pm.

Every Friday: The Royal British Legion, Mijas Costa Branch, welcomes visitors, new members and visiting members from other branches to their weekly social meetings that are held at Club Naranja, Calle Malaga, Calahonda from 11.00am to 2.00pm. Membership of The Royal British Legion is open to everyone, you do not need to have service background to become a member and offer support to The Royal British Legion family. For more info: 635 450 608.

Every Sunday: Craft Market in the Marbella Marina on the Teresa Zabell Pier: 12-6pm. (PLEASE

A A M M a a n n’’s s W Wo orrl l d d

IT’s A FUNNY OLD WORLD! HEAVEN OR HELL?

Jeff, Phil & Mike find themselves in Hell.... No sooner had they arrived than a door in a wall opened and they say a REALLY ugly woman, her face was covered in warts. The voice of the Devil boomed out: “Jeff, you have sinned. You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in bed with this poor woman.” And Jeff was led through the door to suffer his punishment. The other two men were understandably wary when a second door opened to reveal a woman even uglier that the first. She had one eye, no teeth, a hunched back and she stank of rotting tyres. Her body was covered in flies. The voice of the Devil boomed out: “Phil, you have sinned. You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in bed with this wretched women.” And Phil was led through the door to suffer his punish ment. By now Mike was a nervous wreck. So he feared the worst when a third door opened, but to his enormous relief he saw a beautiful blonde standing there wearing a skimpy bikini. “WOW!” he thought…. Then he heard the voice of the Devil boom out: “Carla, you have sinned…”

PROPERTY PAGES MAGAZINE

Masterplanned by the well-respected Costa del Sol architectural firm of Melvin Villaroel, the Costalita area of Estepona is located on the beach side of the coastal road, to the east of the town and between the Arroyo Taraje and Saladillo-Benamara, conveniently close both the centre of Estepona, as well as to Marbella and Puerto Banús.

Developed by Urbis as a series of private communities centered around landscaped gardens and luxurious pools, the traditionally inspired, whitewashed Andalusian design of Costalita houses both apartments, ranging in size from one-bedroom units up to three- and four-bedroom duplex penthouses with private rooftop pools.

Costalita is home to the four-start Iberostar Costa del Sol hotel and two popular beachfront restaurants, La Antigua and Pepe Beach Restaurant.

The wonderful front line beach 5 star Villa Padierna Hotel Beach Club and water sports centre. Villacana Pony Club within a few minutes walk, one of the few stables that still do early morning beach riding. For the sports enthusiasts there is the Villa Padierna Paddle & Tennis Club. El Paraiso Golf, Los Flamingo Golf, Guadalmina & Atalaya Golf are all very local. Costalita offers the ideal combination of quiet, secure surroundings with easy access to the vast array of local services found along the N340 strip.

Central townhouse and at a 5 minute walk from the beach. It has three floors. Ground floor with living-dining room with views of the small private patio/garden and the backyard, kitchen and bathroom. Patio in the front and back of the house. On the first floor there are four bedrooms and another bathroom. On the second floor there are 2 small areas for office or storage and a large terrace. Ideal for family. Close to everything you need. REF: R4059640.

Quality townhouse offering panoramic moun tain and golf views located within La Cala Golf Resort with three 18 hole championship golf courses, Clubhouse, Hotel and Spa, perfectly integrated into the environment. Underground garage with direct access to the house. Open plan ground floor with kitchen, living room, cloak room and a large terrace and garden. The first floor offers two ample and bright bedrooms, both with en suite bathrooms and one of them with a private terrace. There is a third bedroom with shower room and private terrace on the top floor. REF: R4163476.

Beautiful Mediterranean style four bed,

2023. Lovely two bedroom two bathroom ground floor apartment located in Tobago Reserva de Marbella, in a nice quiet urbanisation but only 10 minutes drive to the centre of Marbella & Puerto Banus. Spacious living room with open fireplace. The master bedroom opens up directly onto terrace with garden & communal pool.

Three Bedroom Townhouse

Las Chapas €2.000 pcm

Beachfront complex only 100 meters to the beautiful beach and 30 meters to the amzing pool area. Three bedrooms and three bathrooms. With a private underground garage with access directly into the house. Within walking distance to restaurantes, chiringuitos, supermarkets 24h pharmacy, tennis and gym. Located in a secured beachfront Complex. Three Bedroom

Three Bedroom Apartment

Puerto Banus 2.700€ pcm

Three bedroom apartment next to the beach in closed complex located in Puerto Banus. A few mtrs. Of the best restaurants and international cuisine, exclusive fashion shops, water sports, shopping centers, cinemas and bus and taxi stops. This complex has a beautiful garden of 10,000 m2 immaculate common areas, four communal swimming pools & tennis paddle court.

This traditional Venta, a converted finca is offered for sale having been closed for around 10 years. Consequently some updating is required but it retains a wealth of original charm and character. It has flagstones throughout and lovely original timber beamed ceilings, the walls are a mixture of textured surfaces and bare bricks. There are rustic wall lights and chandeliers, plenty of windows and even an antique cart. It has around 500 m2 built area on a plot of around 1250m2.

Let us find you, your home away from home; If you are looking for a relaxing worry free holiday ACP Property is there for you. With more than 15 years of experience and with apartments of every size and for every budget we will help you to find the right one for you and your family. Our apartments come fully equipped. The only you need to bring is your bathing suit and flip flops. We can arrange tours, car rentals, airport shuttles and much more.

“ACP were very professional in everything we required to help us have a great holiday in the apartment we rented in Calahonda. Especially Suzanne who is very helpful and provided us with excellent service.” Willie Causer

“Very nice rental apartment. Everything was well organized by ACP for taking the keys and the return and lot of information before the arrival. Always in touch with the customer to know if everything was going well. Bravo and thank you for your service.” David Monnard

SOME OF THE STRANGEST PLACE NAMES IN THE UK

WITTS END

A part of the village of Eversholt, Befordshire, Witts End is also a leading light among those rare British place names that also moonlight as sayings. See also Cavalier Approach, Memory Lane, Quality Street and Letsby Avenue.

TWATT (SHETLAND)

Everyone should visit Shetland. Yes, yes, it is home to Britain's most northerly point and has some of the finest scenery known to humankind, but that's all by the by. Shetland's real claim to fame is of course that it boasts the northernmost of Britain's pair of Twatts... located on the main Shetland island of Mainland (the other Twatt is in Orkney). The name Twatt is derived from the Norse for 'forest clearing' or 'parcel of land', but people tend to overlook that when they're standing here, gurning into their phones. Nearby are the Burn of Twatt and Twatt Hill.

GREATBOTTOM FLASH

A cheekily-named wider section - or 'flash' - in the Basingstoke Canal. A rather lovely spot favoured by wildlife and people who enjoy messing about in boats, it is not known whether exhibitionists also frequent the area, but it's entirely plausible that they might.

TICKLE COCK BRIDGE

Another Great British place name that has provided headline fodder, Tickle Cock Bridge in Castleford, West Yorkshire, was the subject of a controversial local authority decision in 2008. When the dilapidated pedestrian underpass was replaced, it was renamed to Tickle Cott, but a local over-50s group was having none of it. Thanks to their efforts, the council backtracked and the former location of naughty nighttime activity retained its distinctively descriptive moniker.

THIS IS OUR HIGHLY SUBJECTIVE LIST OF FAVOURITE FUNNY PLACE NAMES FROM AROUND BRITAIN. THEY NEED LITTLE INTRODUCTION, EXCEPT TO SAY THEY ARE ALL REAL PLACES TOWNS, VILLAGES, HAMLETS, HILLS, STREETS, ROADS & OTHER FEATURES THAT CAN ALL BE FOUND ON THE ORDNANCE SURVEY MAPS OF THE UK....

ROTTEN BOTTOM LITTLE COCKUP

A Little Cockup every once in a while is to be expected, but three in quick succession? Alongside Little Cockup, there's also Great Cockup and just plain old normal Cockup, three hills at the very northern end of the Lake District... and no mistake. Good views of Bassenthwaite Lake (and Great Cockup) can be had from the top, at 395m. The name derives from the Old English for fowl, in this case most likely black grouse, but you probably don't care about that.

ISLE OF EWE

As the ram said... to anyone who'd listen... The Isle of Ewe is not only an island off the glorious northwest coast of Scotland but also a profound declaration. It heads the list of 'Isle ofs' that includes Man, Dogs and Muck, and is surely one of Britain's happi est-sounding place names. An added bonus is the scenery, being part of the Wester Ross NSA, home to some of the finest views in Britain.

Of all the Bottoms of Britain, Rotten Bottom is probably the one with the most distinctive air about it. Set amongst the hills and valleys of Moffat, Rotten Bottom is also a place of archaeological distinction, for it is there in the bogs that the Rotten Bottom Bow was found, a weapon made from yew dating to 3500 - 4000 BC. Impressive, but unlikely to quell the fart gags.

BELL END

A well-known street in Rowley Regis, West Midlands, Bell End has been the subject of some controversy. In January 2018, residents launched a petition to have the name of the street changed due to being "too rude". The petition garnered around 100 signatures, but by April nearly 5,000 people had signed a counter-petition to "Leave the Historic Name of Bell End Alone!". Thank goodness. Not to be confused with the village of Bell End in Worcestershire, or the street of Bell End in Wollaston, Northamptonshire.

PANTS

FAN Y BÎG

The 'Point of the Peak' is a subsidiary summit of Waun Rydd in the Brecon Beacons national park, and part of the classic horseshoe walk that takes in Pen y Fan. Disappointingly, Fan y Bîg was remeasured and downgraded from a mountain to a mere hill in 2018, but even though its technical status may have changed, it's clear the influence of this amusingly-named geographical feature is nothing less than mountainous. Close by is another legend of a hill, Lord Hereford's Knob.

AN EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT DECEMBER 2022

EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT FOR HOLDERS OF UK DRIVING LICENCES?

Deal Agreed for Exchange of UK Driving Licences for Spanish

Hugh Ellio琀 the UK Ambassador to Spain, confirmed Friday 18th via a video posted to the Embassy’s social media channels, that the outstanding issues that had been holding up nego琀a琀ons have finally been resolved.

Since the 30th of April this year, holders of UK driving licences who were already resident in Spain have not been able to use their licences. Those moving over, have had 6 months to either pass a Spanish driving test, or they’ve had to stop driving. Whilst the date when the agreement will come into force is s琀ll some 琀me away, the announcement is welcome news for those who’ve been wai琀ng unable to drive, or dreading having to take a Spanish driving test.

Whether the agreement will come as an early Christmas present for UK driving licence holders who are wai琀ng to exchange, remains to seen. The Ambassador said that the exchange agreement is going to go straight from the Spanish Cabinet to be published in the Bole琀n Oficial del Estado (BOE) which means the 琀me it takes to come into force should be weeks rather than months. Coincidentally in December last year we provided an update here regarding the UK driving licence situa琀on. Back then we said hopefully there’d be some good news for Christmas! A year later it’s looks like there may well be. Let’s hope so anyway!

Merry Christmas to all Costa Link readers, the Costa Link team and fellow Costa Link adver琀sers. We wish you health and happiness in the New Year.

ES (+34) 951 77 55 44 / UK (+44) 033 000 10 777 enquiries@lifestylegroup.es

Mijas Costa Office: CC Cala Sol B5, Bulevard de la Cala, La Cala de Mijas, 29649

Marbella Office: CC Elviria (Plant. Ariba) Oficina 8, Elviria, Marbella, 29604 www.lifestylegroup.es www.overseaslifestyleservices.com

GADGETS GADGETS & &Gizmo’s Gizmo’s

PlayStation VR2 to hit the shelves on 22nd Feb 2023…The long-awaited second-generation will feature a new headset with a 4000 x 2040 4K HDR OLED display and a 110-degree field of vision. It also supports content up to 120Hz for smooth gameplay. Four cameras are built into the front of the headset to track your movements. PS VR2 has been designed for increased comfort, vent and lens adjustment dial + slimmer and lighter design.

Two pint-sized Quarter Arcades cabinets mark Space Invaders turning 45! More than mere ornaments, Quarter Arcades are fully playable, highly detailed cabs. They aim to be as faithful as possible, with wooden shells and accurate art. These Space Invaders models even have the mirror screen and glowing moon effects from the 1970s machines. Each cab stands 44cm tall, is 16.6cm wide and is 22.5cm deep.

The Garmin Tacx Neo Bike Plus smart exercise bike promises a convincing road feel, superior shifting and enhanced gradients. It brings accurate power, speed and cadence recording, with virtual shifters that can emulate the most popular bike gearsets. Maximum power tops out at 2200 watts, while gradients can be upped to 25% for when you’ve got energy to burn. You can hook up an iPad or Android tablet using USB chargers.

The Canyon electric Roadlite: ON 8 LTD will spice up your commute. At 15.6kg it’s pretty slight as ebikes go, with an aluminium frame and a new lightweight Fazua Ride 60 drive system that has three levels. You can switch between them using the controls on the handlebars. It’s powered a 430Wh battery that’s integrated in the downtube, also removable when it’s time to charge.

All the latest in the World of gadget’s, tech & gaming... All the latest in the World of gadget’s, tech & gaming...

string lights feature 250 mini smart LEDs along a 20-metre cord. At the tap of your smartphone, you can control the basics, such as switching the Festavia lights on or off. You can also change the colour, dim or brighten them, and set schedules for them to switch on.

Porsche Design’s limited-edition soundbar is made from an actual 911 exhaust. Petrolheads love the sound of a good tailpipe, so is this the perfect Christmas pressie? Adorned with the actual exhaust system from a Porsche 992 GT3, this 300-watt, 2.1.2 soundbar is limited to 500 units. Weighing a hefty 65kg you can either plonk it on the base that’s included, or mount it on a very sturdy wall.

If you have a couple of days to fill in between Christmas and New year then check this out … The Lego Eiffel Tower is a 10,001-piece landmark for your living room. The magnificent structure will stand a whopping 149cm tall. What you get here, then, is as close a recreation of the real-world landmark as you can expect in brick-built form one that far surpasses any previous Lego attempt.

Hydrow Wave gives your home workouts a colourful makeover now coming in a handful of bright colours, including Sunset, Sunrise, River, and Forest, which are all that little bit easier on the eye than the original black version. Dynamic resistance and electromagnetic braking apparently give a convincing feeling of being on the water. Workouts are streamed or live to a built-in display, with sessions lead by World-class athletes.

MEDICAL MAYHEM

AN EMBARRASSING PROBLEM...

I walked into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman I was speaking with said she was the only pharmacist and since she and her sister owned the store and there were no male employees.

She asked if she could help me. I said that I really would have preferred to speak with a male pharmacist.

She assured me that she was completely professional and whatever it was that I needed to discuss, I could be confident that she would treat me with a high level of professionalism.

I reluctantly agreed and began by saying, "As a shy man, this is tough for me to discuss, but here goes... I get erections every day that last more than four hours. This condition causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. I was wondering what you could give me for it?"

The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll talk to my sister."

When she returned, she said, "We discussed it at length and this is the absolute best we can do:

* 1/3 OWNERSHIP IN THIS PHARMACY

* A COMPANY CAR

* A KING SIZE BED AND * €3,000 A MONTH IN LIVING EXPENSES."

We meet the 1st and 3rd Monday of each month in Calahonda at the Baptist church 11am until 1pm.

We have a wonderful team of volunteers on hand at each meeting which includes: Nurses, Therapist, lawyers as well as those who provide activities suitable for all stages of dementia.

Through the work that Age Care has done locally for many years we are able to access support from all local and charitable organizations and we work closely with AFA (Asociacion de familiars de Enfermos de Alzheimer) in Los Pacos giving our members access to day care facilities and additional support from a locally based specialist organisation.

For more information call: Lesley 635 407 255 or David 667 733 520

A supportive and nurturing environment which is safe and proactive in ensuring you never feel alone on your dementia journey

Health

&

Well Being 15 FOOD TRENDS IN 2023

1) YAUPON

Yaupon is a caffeine-producing holly bush that can be found across the Southeastern U.S. The leaves can be used to make an herbal tea, a practice that Indigenous Americans have been doing for decades. Its mild, earthy flavour will be new to some consumers, expect to see it appear in drinks and on bar menus, from kombucha to cocktails.

2) REPURPOSING PULP

Nondairy milk alternatives like oat milk and almond milk have become commonplace on shelves and in coffee shops, but making them leads to a byproduct that's often wasted.... at least until now. Brands are beginning to upcycle these byproducts to create new innovations in the baking space, from alternative flours to baking mixes.

3) PASTA MADE FROM PRODUCE

Eating fruits and vegetables is an important part of any healthy lifestyle. When you eat enough produce, your body may reap benefits like a reduced risk of heart dis ease and improved brain health. Now, it's even easier to sneak in a serving of produce with plant-based pasta. While chickpeas, cauliflower and zucchini alternatives are nothing new, Whole Foods predicts other produce will pop in the pasta aisle. Think noodles made from spaghetti squash, hearts of palm and green bananas.

4) DATES

Dates have been around for thousands of years, but they can be used as an alternative natural sweetener. Whether it's date syrup, date paste or dehydrated dates, the fruit

is being used in a range of ways, from ketchup to overnight oats. We're fans of using dates to hold together energy balls like Blueberry-Lemon Energy Balls, but how ever you use them, it's sure to be sweet.

5) KELP

Expect to see more kelp-inspired products on grocery store shelves in 2023. Whether it's kelp chips or kelp noodles, the algae is a nutritious, versatile product that's also good for the environment. Kelp can help absorb car bon in the atmosphere and doesn't require freshwater or added nutrients, two major wins in the age of climate consciousness.

6) RETRO FLAVORS

All the flavours you know and love from childhood are back but with a healthy twist. Whether you're following a special diet or just looking to eat healthier, Expect a wave of nostalgia will hit product shelves. Think boxed mac and cheese, but vegan-friendly, or classic cans of cola and root beer, but with added prebiotic benefits.

7) AVOCADO OIL

While avocado oil's presence in the market isn't new, it will become more mainstream in packaged products like potato chips and mayonnaise. Avocado oil has some health benefits, like potentially improving cholesterol lev els, and is packed with beta carotene and omega-3 fats. Plus, avocado oil has a neutral flavor and a high smoke point, so it can be used in a variety of dishes.

MedicalTips

HANGOVER CURES...

It’s that time of year when we all get a little merry and maybe have a bit more Christmas cheer than is good for us! If you have overdone it at the Christmas do here a few hangover facts and cures…. Splitting headaches, sickness, dizziness, dehydration: anyone who's ever drunk too much knows the consequences of it.

BEFORE THE BIG NIGHT... Line your stomach: You’ve probably heard people waffling on about how dangerous it is to go out on an empty stomach, well turns out there’s truth to that. If you eat a greasy meal before you go out the fat will help to line the walls of your stomach, which slows down the rate of alcohol absorption (note, this just slows down) which means you’ll be less likely to wake up with a splitting headache. Drinking a full glass of milk will also have the same effect.

Keep it light: As you’ve probably already figured from trial and error, different types of alcohol produce different types of hangover. This is down to the congeners in the drink, something which is produced when the alcohol is fermented. As a rule, there are more congeners in darker drinks such as red wine, whiskey or navy rum. White wine, vodka and gin on the other hand contain much less, so are a much better idea.

Don’t overdo the dancing: Now we love a good dance but don’t overdo it or you will feel worse in the morning. You’ll end up getting even more dehydrated and depleting your energy levels even faster. No need a to be a party pooper though, just make sure you don’t go too wild.

Pace yourself: Most health organisations think that guys should not drink more that 3-4 units of booze a day, or 2-3 if you’re a girl. To put this in perspective a small glass of wine is about 1.5 units and a beer somewhere between 2 and 3. It also

Drink LOADS

of water:

Drinking alcohol blocks the creation of a chemical called vasopressin. This means that your kidneys will send water straight to the bladder instead of absorbing into the body and is the reason you need so many damn toilet trips once you ‘break the seal’. Drinking booze can expel up to four times as much water, which can lead to you getting dehydrated, the main cause of those dreaded hangover headaches and dry mouths.

takes your body around 1 hour to break down 1 unit of alcohol.

AFTER THE BIG NIGHT...

Painkillers: Your first thought will probably be to reach for some painkillers, and it’s not a bad shout as they will help with your headache just make sure to pick the right ones. Aspirin will do the trick, but it can wreak havoc if you’ve got a sen sitive stomach and leave you feeling sick and worse than you were before. Much safer to just stick to the ibuprofen, but only the recom mended dose. Extra tip: If you can manage it get up at around 7am, drink loads of water, take an Ibuprofen then go back to sleep. You’ll wake up healed (kind of)!

Drink more water: Yeah, we know, this one is getting a bit repet itive now. But seriously, you need to make up for all that water you lost last night. If you do manage to drag yourself out of bed the make sure to take a bottle with you on your trav els.

Eat sensibly: Eating, even if it seems like the worst idea in the world, is really important for getting you on the road to recovery. You can’t eat just anything, but there are a few options. Depending on how bad you feel, eggs or a fry up are a great option as they help replace fatty acids and break down the alco hol in your liver. If you’re feeling super delicate eating some banana or potatoes in the morning will also help.

Don’t start drinking again: Hair of the dog? Forget it! Drinking more might ease your pain for a few hours but it will only make the crash even worse when you get to it.

Sleep it off: One of the other side effects of drinking is the disruption of your sleep cycle, which is one of the reasons you still feel a bit pants even if you did get a decent amount of sleep. Combat this the only way you know how and just sleep some more. If you’re not going to be pro ductive anyway, you might as well focus on getting right as rain.

• More than 200 people, including representatives of different institutions, companies, and citizen organisations, gathered to celebrate the successful completion of a project where Vithas has invested €16 million

• The hospital extension provides patients with an area of 51 outpatient consultation rooms, as well as a theatre block with 7 operating rooms, 4 ward floors including 141 rooms and an ICU department with 16 boxes

• The event was chaired by the Mayor of Benalmadena, Mr Victor NAVAS, who stated that “the extension of the hospitalshall reinforce and strengthen the healthcare and health services of Benalmadena, with a clear commitment to medical innovation and excellence" attended the ceremony, together with the Provincial Representative for the Elderly and the Community Sector, Mr Francisco Jose MARTIN, the Head of the Health Service of the Delegation for the Regional Ministry of Health and Consumer Affairs in Malaga, Mr Enrique MOYA BARRIONUEVO, as well as other representatives of different institutions and companies.

Benalmadena, 29th September.VithasXanit International Hospital, located in Benalmadena city (province of Malaga), has held the inaugural ceremony of the extension of its facilities, where Vithas Group has invested €16 million. The hospital has virtually doubled its current capacity, going from having 12,000 m2 to having around 25,000 square meters now. The inaugural ceremony was held today, Thursday, and was attended by more than 200 people .It was chaired by the Mayor of Benalmadena, Mr Victor NAVAS, in the presence of Mr Jorge GALLARDO,Presi dent of Vithas group, and also Dr Pedro RICO, Managing Director of Vithas group, Ms Mercedes MENGIBAR, Regional Managing Director of Andalusia in Vithas,as well as Mr Jose Antonio RODE NAS BIEL, Managing Director of VithasX anit International Hospital.In addition, the Mayor of Fuengirola, Ms Ana MULA, also

This extension project has made the hospital a point of reference for healthy spaces, boasting an eco-friendly architecture together with a universal design approach. Patients can now access an area of 51 modern and functional outpatient consultation rooms, a state-of-the-art theatre block including 7 operating rooms, as well as 2 endoscopy rooms and a haemody namic operating room. It also has 4 ward floors including 141 spacious single rooms and a new ICU department with 16 large boxes receiving natural sunlight.

"The extension of VithasXanit International Hospital shall reinforce and strengthen the healthcare and health services of Benalmadena, with a clear commitment to medical innovation and excellence", said the Mayor of Benalmadena, Mr Victor NAVAS.

A GROWING COMPANY WITH VALUES

Furthermore, Mr Jorge GALLARDO, President of the Hospital group, stressed the fact that “Vithas will soon celebrate its tenth anniversary and I am especially excited to be able to celebrate it with milestones as relevant as the inauguration of the extension of this emblematic facility”. Despite the context of economic downturn that Spain and Europe are going through, the President of Vithas emphasised that “as shareholders, we maintain our firm commitment to the long term, in the conviction that we will come back stronger after the crises. In fact, we have more projects under way, and projects with greater impact than ever before in our first decade".

The recent re-accreditation of VithasXanit by the Joint Commission International is the reason why Dr Pedro RICO, Managing Director of Vithas, took this hospital as an example of “our commitment to quality care”. Apart from this value, “we have incorporated other new valueswhich can meet the new expectations of citizens, such as patientexperience, digital transformation, research, innovation, university training, environmental protection, and solidarity contribution to social problems, which are already part of our heritage as a company and of the daily performance of our professionals”, who have been placed again in the focus of all Vithas progress.

Mr Jose Antonio RODENAS, Managing Director of VithasXanit International Hospital, highlighted that "thanks to this extension, we will increase our healthcare capacity and we will be able to serve more than 500,000 patients per year, who will benefit fromgreater comfort and accessibility to our services”

Beyond any doubt, VithasXanit International Hospital is beginning a new stage thanks to the extension of its facilities. This represents a very important milestone for the health sector in the province of Malaga, since,with this extension, we contribute to the development of the city, in addition to ensuring access to a quality healthcare facility which has been re-accredited for the third time by the Joint Commission International quality certification, the most prestigious international quality accreditation institution”, pointed out Ms Mercedes MENGIBAR.

STRANGE BUT TRUE Strange but true...Strange

• When the Candy Cane was invented in Germany, it was made into a J for Jesus. The red stripes symbolise his blood.

• Black Friday is not the busiest shopping day of the year. The two days right before Christmas are.

• It is a tradition in Japan to eat KFC for Christmas. Orders must be placed two months in advance.

• 1 in 3 men wait until Christmas Eve to do their shopping!

• Paul McCartney earns €400,000 a year from his “Wonderful Christmastime” song.

• Bing Crosby’s version of “White Christmas” is the highest-selling single of all time.

• It only took six weeks for Charles Dickens to write “A Christmas Carol.”

• Visa cards are used about 6,000 times every minute during the Christmas season.

• A Facebook study in 2010 revealed that two weeks before Christmas is the most popular time for couples to break up.

• The biggest display of Christmas lights ever made is in Australia. It has 1,194,380 LEDs covering 3,865 sq. meters.

• Christmas trees usually grow for close to 15 years before they can be sold.

• Jingle Bells was originally a song about Thanksgiving in 1857.

• Christmas is not Christ’s birthday as many believe.

According to the bible, Christ was actually not even born in the winter!

• Scientists have calculated that for Santa Claus to deliver presents to every home in the world, he would have to travel at a speed of 4,921,200 miles per hour!

HELP FOR HORSES

The Andalusian Rescue Centre for Horses and Donkeys (ARCH) is open to the public on Sunday mornings from 10.00am until 2pm. Visitors can meet the current rescue cases and volunteers are happy to share their many and varied stories and talk about the work of the charity. Children (and adults) can pet and groom the gentler donkeys and ponies. Situated between Coin and Alhaurin el Grande, the Centre was founded 13 years ago and since then has saved the lives of countless abused or abandoned equines. Volunteers come from many walks of life, all age groups and many nationalities – sharing a common passion for horses. Although ARCH works closely with the Spanish authorities (most of the animals rescued come through SEPRONA, the animal welfare arm of the Guardia Civil, or from the local Police), the charity depends on donations, fund raising and on the income from its charity shop in Alhaurin el Grande.

Being involved in rescuing animals is a never-ending and frequently a heart-rending task. As ARCH President Jill Newman-Rogers says “You grieve for the ones you cannot save and then you have to move on to the ones you can. If you lose the battle then at least you know you tried and gave them loving care for their last days.”

ALLREVVEDUP

LOSANGELESMOTORSHOW

The final full-scale motor show of 2022 hosts important debuts this year.

Three concepts were revealed by Genesis to showcase its vision of a sustainable and lux urious future, the X Convertible packs four seats, a hard-top roof and premium technology, with a long bonnet, short overhangs and a unique, quad-LED light arrangement both at the front and rear.

Inspired by the 1967 Ford Mustang, the Charge Cars 67 is a whopping 400,000€ electromod with a power output of 536bhp. It has been redesigned and re-engineered for the electric era, with a range of 480 kms, an eye-watering 1121lb ft of torque and a 0100kph sprint of 3.9 sec. Not to mention a top speed of 250kph…

The absolutely huge Hummer EV certainly has the power to match its sheer size and is popular with the crowds in the US, which, of course, is the Hummer’s homeland. With 819bhp on tap, the EV produces 11,500lb ft and a 0-100kph time of just 3.5sec. Its battery pack provides more than 480 km of range.

The Hyundai Ionic 6 uses of the same platform as the Ioniq 5 and is equipped with a battery of up to 77kWh for a range of 609 kms. It’s not short on power, either, with up to 329bhp from a twin-motor four-wheeldrive powertrain. Watch out, Tesla Model 3…

The off-road-focused Porsche 911 Dakar allterrain sports car pays tribute to the firm’s 1984 Paris-Dakar rally victory. It's most closely related to the four-wheel-drive Porsche 911 GTS, sharing its 473bhp, 420lb ft 3.0-litre twin-turbo flat-six. It also gains several off-road modifications to the chassis and body, making it a completely different beast from its standard sibling. Just 2500 examples of the Dakar will be built, priced at 200,000€.

STAR SIGNS

A look at what's in store for you during December 2022...

Capricorn, during December 2022, Venus begins its transit through your sign. That gives you a great ability be more confident in your own charisma and might conclude that love comes your way without even trying. Mercury and Venus see December filled with holiday fun some fan tastic gifts and festive frolics. After December 21st, it wouldn’t be surprising if you get extra income unexpectedly via a bonus or a gift. It’s time to slow down your pace of work. Take better care of yourself and make enough time for relaxing and resting. If you feel the need for peace and quiet, respect that and spend time with your own family or with a very close friend. Don’t try to do every thing at once out of a fear that you’re entering into the New Year with unresolved matters. Postpone what you can, delegate what you can, and save up your strength.

Aquarius, during the first part of December 2022, many of you go through tense moments, particularly if managing a joint budget is still a point of contention in your life. If you are single then love ties may be marked with misunderstandings. You may enjoy satisfying earnings during this term. Some of you get the chance to receive a significant bonus or their share of the prof its of a joint investment, an inheritance etc. In order for your plans for the future to work out, you need to be patient. Gather up your resources and look for the best ways to prove your skills. The start of the month sees you a bit lack lustre and tired. You might suffer from some older health issues and you may be indisposed or stressed out. If you’re tempted to seek alternative treatments, you should first get a clear diagnosis from your doctor.

Pisces, if you are single love can show up very unexpectedly, from a circle of friends that you haven’t seen much lately. If you are involved in somewhat longer-lasting connections, the astrological context of December 2022 offers excellent conditions for revitalising your life as a couple. You tend to set out to do too much, particularly during the first half of the month. That makes you use up a lot of energy in order to achieve your goals. The key to success is a realistic and flexible approach. If you want to succeed in life or see through a project that you’ve been working on for some time, now is the time to give it your all. Prove your skills, persevere, show that you know what you want and that you’re able to get everything you desire. December looks to be pretty hectic, so at some point you might feel exhausted and discouraged take time out to recharge your batteries.

Aries, expect December 2022 to have a few heated discussions, you’ve got to be willing to be flexible and not be obstinate if you want to see a clear route to happiness. It’s very likely that if you are single you’ll fall for someone suddenly, at first sight. It may be someone you meet in your professional environment. On December 6th, Mercury, the Sun and Venus begin there transit through your sign. This astrological context means you can achieve a lot if you set aside your stub bornness, and tendency to flap around. The events of December are meant to help you become more realistic about your professional goals and how you can use your resources more efficiently. Jupiter makes you become more energetic this month, more confident about yourself and what life has to give you. Try to steer clear of physical and mental overexertion.

Taurus, December 2022 Mercury, Venus the Sun in your sign and they are bringing you a “Devil may care “attitude with a tendency towards radical attitudes of the “go big or go home” vari ety. Try to temper down your stubbornness; don’t fight over every small thing and accept to learn and try new things. If you are single you may experience a few flirtations but after a while many of reach the conclusion things are not worth the effort. It’s not yet the time for grand initiatives on the work front, but rather for finalising your plans for the future and making sure you’re emotionally pre pared for putting them into practice. In order to improve your income, take a new perspective on professional matters and look at things in a new way. The Sun and Jupiter transit your sign this month, so begins a good term for recovery, inner recalibrations, and emotional re-balancing.

Gemini, in December 2022 you need to pay special attention to ties with others, Your other half might want to get married, they might rush to plan a future together or talk about mak ing it official. A trip, maybe over the holidays, can prove to be beneficial to your life as a couple or it can help some of you singletons meet people that you win over at the first glance. Professionally, you’re in for some interesting opportunities that can carry you towards a better future and a career that will make you feel fulfilled. The astrological context of December can also help you reap the rewards of efforts you’ve put in as of May 2022 up to date. Your other half might benefit from an increased income and be willing to support you in some pursuits and be generous towards you. You could get a special present around the holidays.

Cancer, during the first week of December 2022, under the influence Mercury and Neptune, communication can suffer. Between you and your other half there might be all sorts of lies or disagreements going on. Things that don’t suit you and are meant to give you a wake-up call and you’re not willing to accept some truths however obvious they might be. Be careful about the tendency to become passive-aggressive. If you want to get others to be on your team, keep in mind their side of the story as well. If you are single then unexpected opportunities might come up to begin a new relationship and get close emotionally to someone who inspires you. If you focus on your work and prove your skills, it’s very likely you’ll be promoted even before the holidays.You might feel mentally exhausted you try to work out more and spend more time outdoors.

Leo, the Sun and Jupiter transit your skies this month. As a result, many of you might fall head over heels for someone who knows how to play you like a fiddle. If you are married or in a long-term relationship, then it’s time to them just how much you appreciate them. Express your romantic side. Mercury and Venus in your see you feel the need to put in more effort if you want to earn more and climb up the hierarchical ladder. You stand to gain from getting better organised and proving that you’re able to work side by side with your employees or coworkers. If you are willing to accept an unusual collaboration or association might run into unexpected professional opportuni ties with nice long-term potential. Your soul will feel lighter this month if you allow it to emanate generosity, joy, and creativity. Enjoy spending the holidays with your near and dear.

Virgo, on December 6th, 2022, Mercury and Venus in your skies speak of a blossom emo tional term if you are you get the chance to finally meet someone. If you steer clear of stubborn ness, set ideas, and excessively strict criteria and rules you usual peruse. If you are part of a longerlasting couple, you should take the initiative and surprise your other half with a romantic gesture so that you show them you care and want to win back their heart. The astrological context of December 2022 can help you reconfigure your professional life and long-term goals, particularly due to the retrograde motion of Mars through Virgo’s house of career. If your professional life isn’t easy during this term. It’s very likely you’ll deal with gossip or confrontations. Don’t get involved in the behind the scenes games of others. Stick to your own thing.

Libra, December 2022, sees you more than ever want to deal with your personal life, family ties, and your marriage and you will then have a wonderful feeling of security, where nothing happening on the outside can bother you. If you are single and want to settle down, some of you fall for the idea of love and jump blindly into new relationships try not to rush in. In order to be more successful in your professional life, it would be best not to argue with everyone. Steer clear of overthe-top ideas and reactions. Be open to dialogue and exchanges of opinions. Try to focus only on the things that are truly important this month. Don’t get overwhelmed by pointless worries. Spend as much time as you can with your family so you recharge your batteries. Try to learn something from everything you’ve experienced during the last year, particularly from your mistakes.

Scorpio, after the emotional issues you’ve been experiencing lately, it seems now is the time to go in a new direction. Look for love somewhere you haven’t before, pay attention to dif ferent paths you can pursue. As the holidays get closer, a romantic connection might blossom into life that’s as unexpected as it is delightful. In existing couples, this term favours honest and con structive dialogue this leads to resolving complicated situations and clarifying lies or illusions that have been tensing up your life as a couple as of late. If you want to launch a business or a new product or earn from a hobby, it would be wise to start with cautious baby steps instead of venturing into large-scales ventures or major investments. You stand to gain from giving the new job a chance because you might discover that it gives you great long-term opportunities.

Sagittarius, you’re going through a term when you want more emotional independence. If you’re single, you’re not that interested in starting a new serious relationship because you fear any potential complications. If you’re married, you might not be in the mood for even making time for your other half. Mercury is in your sign this month and this astrological context speaks of impor tant opportunities to improve your income, but also a tendency towards overspending in a spur of the moment kind of way, most likely due to the holidays. You should resist the numerous tempta tions coming your way and show restraint. Instead of going on an all out shopping spree, you should work out more or take long walks outdoors. Enjoy simple and healthy things. Take care of your body and soul, but without splurging.

DEATH IN THE DESERT...

The dead man was found in a desert naked with half a toothpick clasped in his hand. Before his death, the man along with his three friends were spotted by a witness cross ing the desert using a hot air balloon. The wit ness also mentioned that all four men threw their clothes overboard because the balloon was losing the attitude because of over weight.

Hercule Poirot was called in to solve the death and he immediately tells everyone how the thief died.

Can you figure out how?

A thief was found dead and the police were unable to solve the mystery behind the death.

American actor, star of The Blue Dahlia (4,4)

Skim over water (9)

Make fun of, playfully (6)

Painful to touch (6)

A medieval English knight is magically transported to present-day America where he falls for a high school science teacher who is disillusioned by love starring Vanessa Hudgens & Josh Whitehouse (2019).

After assuming his dead cell-mate's identi ty to get with the other man's girlfriend, an ex-convict finds himself a reluctant partici pant in a casino heist starring Ben Affleck and Charlize Theron (2000).

T T h heeJ J o o k k e e s s p paagge e

A Cats Top 5 Christmas Songs

3. Oh, Come All Ye Fishful 2. Jingle Balls

1. Silent Mice

The North Yorkshire Police reported finding a man's body in the River Swale, near Richmond on New Years Eve. The dead man's name will not be released until his family has been notified. The victim apparently drowned due to excessive marijuana consumption. He was wearing black fishnet stockings, a red suspender belt, a pink G-string, a strap-on dildo, purple lipstick, and a 'Boris for Prime Minister' T-shirt. He also had a cucumber in his rectum. The police removed the T-shirt to spare his family any unnecessary embarrassment. In spite of what we sometimes think, the police do care.

Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? He was picking his nose

One day, a young sooty tern was flying over the sea with its parents when the mummy bird ran into a cliff and dropped to the ground. Oblivious to his mates’ fate, the father tern flew on, but the youngster swooped to the foot of the cliff in a bid to save her. Alas, the mummy tern was already dead, and the tearful youngster was taken under the sing of a family of seagulls. A week later, the head of the seagull family announced: “You are an extremely well-behaved bird, but I’m afraid we can’t keep you. Instead we’re going to try and find a tern who can adopt you, to act as a replacement mummy.” So the seagull put and ad in the local paper: One good tern deserves a mother.

How do you help someone who has lost their Christmas spirit? Nurse them back to elf.

A budding young actor was very put out when he wasn’t picked to be Joseph in his school play. However he was asked to be Innkeeper No. 1 in an effort to keep him quiet, or so his teacher thought! When Mary & Joseph approached him to ask if there was any room at the inn, he replied: “Yes, come right in! We have a lovely room overlooking the pool!”

What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph.

The 4 stages of life:

1. You believe in Santa Claus

2. You don't believe in Santa Claus

3. You dress up as Santa Claus

4. You look like Santa Claus

5. Have Yourself a Furry Little Christmas

4. I Saw Mummy Hiss at Santa Claus

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