July 2014 costa link magazine

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July 2014 N°88

The worst kept secret on the Costa del Sol

ccostadelhome.com ostadelhome.com Inspired Inspired Property Search

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Computer Computer Problems?

Pro oblems? w ec an h elp p..... we can help....

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Business Directory Puzzles & Quizzes What’s On Guide Horoscopes Local Info Kids Page Jokes

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Protect Your Home Windows Door Rejas

Protect Your Family Patio Rejas Drive Gates Etc.

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SUMMER IS HERE...

Well I think it’s safe to say that summer has finally arrived and with the beautiful weather comes school holidays and holidaymakers in abundance! Already I am hearing things like “ooh it’s just too hot”, if you are in the middle of the school holidays I’m sure the kids are driving you mad? Why not enroll them in the Kids' Summer Camp at the Multisports Centre in Nueva Andalucia. It seems like the blooming holiday makers are here, there’s nowhere to park, the beach is packed and I can never get a table in my favourite restaurant! Ok I’ll stop moaning now…

Deep breath…. I’ve found my inner calm. We have a lovely summer to look forward to, unlike two weeks (if they are lucky) of sticky, humid heat in the UK (usually without a pool or beach close by) and think about it we are lucky to live in such a beautiful place.

The World Cup continues in Brazil, I can’t believe Spain got knocked out so early in the proceedings after winning last time. For all you tennis fans out there Wimbledon is in it’s second week of matches mmmmmmm, Pimms and strawberries with cream!

We’ve had another great month with the magazine as more and more businesses find out about our great advertising rates and realise just how popular and well liked the Costa Link magazine is. Why not give us a call to talk about advertising your business. Have a great month and try to make the most of the great weather, enjoy!

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Guide

W ha t’ s On

Puzzles

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TH E JOKES PA GE

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Contact Us Call: 951 216 131 or 663 061 669 Email: sales@costalinkmagazine.com Website: www.costalinkmagazine.com 58

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Skype: costalink.magazine Tweet: @costa_link Deposito Legal: MA-228-2007 Deadline Date: 18th of each month

No part of this publication, including layout, graphic design or pictures may be copied, SCANNED, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. Costa Link Magazine accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors. All rights reserved © 2014.

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WILL NO LONGER ACCEPT ADVERTISING FROM THE FOLLOWING BUSINESSES OR INDIVIDUALS: wMATTHEW JAMES REMOVALS

wWILLIAM “BREW” BLACKMER - KIDZ KINGDOM

wCLAUDE SEYFFERS - FINCA LA CAPUCINE, MIJAS

wFRENK KERENS - BICAR IMPORT/EXPORT SL, MIDOS 4

to advertise in costa link magazine please call 951 216 131

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A Woman’s World Women make the world go round...

SEX WITH A FIREMAN..

FACT!

A fireman came from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station. Bell 1 rings and we all put on our jackets. Bell 2 rings and we all slide down the pole. Bell 3 rings and we're ready to go on the trucks." "From now on," he said, "we're going to run this house the same way." "When I say Bell 1, I want you to strip naked. When I say Bell 2, I want you to jump into bed.

When I say Bell 3, we're going to make love all night." The next night the fireman came home from work and yelled, "Bell 1!" and his wife took off her clothes. "Bell 2," and his wife jumped into bed. "Bell 3," and they began to make love. After two minutes his wife yelled, "Bell 4!" "What the hell is Bell 4 ?" the husband asks. "Roll out more hose," she replied, "you're nowhere near the fire!"

IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING...

If it comes back, it was and always will be yours.

If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.

If, however, it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and never appears to have noticed that you actually set it free in the first place,

You either married it or gave birth to it!

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HOT GOSS!

KIM KARDASHIAN & KANYE WEST DISSED ‘SIMPSONS’STYLE... The couple of the year gets dissed in the most hilarious way.

Check out Kim Kardashian and Kanye West get transformed (and made fun of) in these ‘Simpsons’-style pics. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have gone animated! Artist AleXsandro Palombo created Simpsons-style versions of classic poses from the couple, including the Kimye Vogue cover and Kim’s 2007 Playboy shoot! Talk about funny!

CHERYL COLE SAYS MEL B FEELS LIKE AN OLD FRIEND, BUT SHE’S STILL NOT A FAN OF LOUIS WALSH! Despite rumours of infighting and bitching behind the scenes, Cheryl Cole has spoken out about her fellow X Factor judge, Mel B, and has claimed the pair are like “old friends.” Chezza made her feelings clear about the Louis Walsh situation while speaking on the Graham Norton show, too. When asked if things were still ‘off’ with the Irish judge, she quipped back, “They were never on”. Meow.

BRANDI GLANVILLE IS IN THE MIDDLE OF A MAJOR CONTROVERSY RIGHT NOW.... The ‘Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ star called her seven-year-old multiple names and said that she’s already “booking rehab” for him, according to new reports. Brandi Glanville, 41, has a Twitter bio that reads: “I’m a great mother.” The reality star is never afraid to speak her mind, but this time it could cost her. Brandi — who has two sons with her ex-husband Eddie Cibrian – went on a rant about her seven-year-old son, Jake Austin Cibrian, calling him insulting names like a**hole. During her Brandi Glanville Unfiltered podcast, she even insinuated that she likes her other son, 11-year-old Mason, more than poor Jake. Wow....

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HOT GOSS

LINDSAY LOHAN RUNS AROUND SELFRIDGES NAKED!?! Who needs clothes? That’s what Lindsay Lohan seems to think anyway….The actress recently stunned staff at Selfridges by running around the store totally naked. Lindsay was shopping in the women’s designer clothing section when she picked up a few items to try on. But it looks like she lost interest in that pretty quick because she started running around nudie. Apparently She was laughing her head off and literally giving staff the run-around as customers looked on. “Lindsay was booked in for a personal shopping experience, but it didn’t happen.”We guess she decided that clothes aren’t for her after all…

DANIEL RADCLIFFE WANTS TO PLAY ROBIN IN THE NEW BATMAN MOVIE... Could we be seeing Daniel starring in the new Batman movie???

When asked if he would star in another franchise, he gave a resounding ‘yes.’ We have to admit, we can’t help but think he would look rather fetching in a cape and tights/underpants combo. Daniel was speaking to Buzzfeed during a quickfire round of questions when he made the revelations of his Robin aspirations. To the batcave Robin...

TOWIE’S CHLOE SIMS CONFIRMS SHE’S DATING ELLIOT WRIGHT: ‘HE TREATS ME LIKE A PRINCESS’... Good news everyone, the stars have aligned and TOWIE star Chloe Sims has FINALLY found love in the arms of fellow cast member Elliot Wright! The couple were spotted smooching whilst in Marbella, where they filmed a Marbs TOWIE special with the rest of the Essex based cast. Following her short-lived fling with love rat Mario Falcone, Chloe has finally found her knight in shining armour, revealing: ‘He treated me like a princess there. According to Chloe, her relationship with Elliot couldn’t be more different from her romance with Mario. Bless finding love under the Marbs stars, but will it just be a holiday romance we wonder...

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Your long term property rental specialists Tel: 952 932 908 Mob: 671 093 925 Website: www.costarents.com Email: info@costarents.com

OW

EN ABL

IL AVA

FOR SALE - Property of the Month! Calahonda: €215,000

Beautifully presented 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment located in upper Calahonda.

Providing amazing see views, south facing with terrace to the front, back and side. This property has been cared for, tastefully decorated and is completely ready to move into.

Stylish kitchen area and many added features throughout. Must be seen to appreciate the quality. Ref: R2122424.

COMING SOON FOR SALE - Calahonda: €340,000

Large 3 bed, 2 bath detached house. Very popular property that won't be on the market for long. Has it's own private garden and private pool with lovely views. Quiet part of Calahonda but still very accessible to amenities by car. Ref: R2012592

FOR SALE - La Cala, Penthouse: €195,000

This Fantastic brand new 2 bed apartment is situated just a few minutes drive from the popular La Cala De Mijas. This Penthouse apartment is offered unfurnished, it has 2 terraces on the living level and a full size roof terrace with Jacuzzi and barbeque . The apartment is very modern . There is underground parking and a good size store room. Ref : R132385

FOR SALE - Miraflores: €129,000

2 bed property, 2 bath,close to golf,close to shops, This property this month.

@costarents For all the latest listings!

Search Costa Rents For all the latest news and listings!

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Your long term property rental specialists Tel: 952 932 908 Mob: 671 093 925 Website: www.costarents.com Email: info@costarents.com

LE

LE

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Sierra Blanca Country Club: 5 bed, 4 bath quality villa located in the Sierra Blanca Country Club Only 3,000€ per month

LE

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El Parasio: 4 bed, 3 bath detached will in El Parasio. Super quality and available immediately. €2500 per month.

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Riviera del Sol: Lovely 3 bed apt in Riviera, clean, bright and spacious. €695 per month.

PROPERTY SITTING EMPTY? MORTGAGE AND COMMUNITY FEES BUILDING UP?

KEEP CALM AND

RENT OUT YOUR PROPERTY

Looking for rental properties now!

Please ring

Costa Rents if you want to rent out your property today

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Panic AT The Pharmacy A young girl (nursing student) started work in the village chemist (pharmacy) shop. She was very shy about having to sell condoms to the public. The owner was going on holiday for a couple of days and asked if she would be willing to run the shop on her own.

She had to confide in him her worries about selling the contraceptives. "Look," he said. "My regular customers don't ask for condoms, they'll ask for a 310 [small] a 320 [medium] or a 330 [large]. The word condom won't even be used."

The first day was fine but on the second day a guy came in to the shop, put out his hand and said "950". The girl panicked. She went to the back and phoned the owner on his mobile and told him of her predicament. "Have a look and check if he has a yellow bucket hanging between his legs," her boss told her. She peeped through the door and saw the yellow bucket hanging between his legs. "Yes!" she said, "He's got one hanging there!"

The boss said "Go back in and give him ÂŁ9.50, he's the window cleaner."

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you said what?!?

Bert feared his wife Peggy wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.

Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

'Here's what you do,' said the Doctor, ‘stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.'

That evening, Peggy is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he is in the living room. Bert says to himself, ‘I’m about 40 feet away, let's see what happens.' Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

No response.

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, 'Peggy, what's for dinner?'

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his Wife and asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

Again he gets no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

Again there is no response.

So hewalks right up behind her. 'Peg, what's for dinner?'

'For God's Sake, Bert, for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!'

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TRIVIA QUIZ

1) What is the only land mammal that cannot jump?

2) Which is the highest capital city in Europe – London, Berlin or Madrid?

3) The Khyber Pass links which 2 countries?

4) Which is the largest joint in the human body?

5) What is the fundamental oath that is associated with doctors?

6) Whom did film star Grace Kelly marry in 1956?

7) What cargo did the Cutty Sark carry?

8) Alphabetically, what is the last sign of the Zodiac?

9)Which university is based in Milton Keynes – University of Central England, de Montfort University or the Open University?

10) Which city is furthest north St Petersberg, Copenhagen or Montreal?

11) In which television series do

we meet the roly-poly cleric, Geraldine Grainger?

12) Which soap was rumored to face the axe last month, but this turned out to be a hoax?

13) Which TV programme has a special in Marbs every year?

14) What can be Tulip, Balloon or Flute?

15) Who was the first regular female presenter of Points of View?

16) Which daring World War II raid did Guy Gibson lead?

17) How many furlongs are there in a mile?

18) Cu is the chemical symbol for which element?

19) According to the legend, which bird rose from it’s own ashes?

20) Which fruit is dried to make prunes?

21) Which spice comes from the Crocus?

22)Which designer is credited with designing the mini skirt?

23)Which nuts are used to make marzipan?

24)What carries blood to the heart – arteries or veins?

25) The binary system uses only two numbers – what are they?

26) What is Cary Grant's real name?

27) Which of the seven dwarves comes last alphabetically?

28) Who is credited with the invention of television?

29) How many classifications are there on the Richter scale?

30) Diamond is the birthstone for which month?

Answers on page 76

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THE LUCK, NO LOGIC OF THE IRISH

Two Irish farmers, Jim and Mick, are sitting at their favourite bar, drinking Guinness.Jim turns to Mick and says, "you know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes."

Mick thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave.

The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets the Dean of admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes; Maths , English, Irish and Logic. "logic?" Jim says. "What’s that?" The dean says "I'll give you an example. Do you own a lawnmower?"

"Yeah" said Jim. "Then logically speaking , because you own a lawnmower, I think that you would have a yard." "That’s true, I do have a Yard" "I'm not done" said the Dean. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house." "Yes I do have a house."

"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family." "Yes, I have a Family."

"I’m not done yet, Because you have a family, then you must have a wife and because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be heterosexual."

"I am a heterosexual. That’s amazing; you were able to find out all that because I own a lawnmower."

Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Deans hand and leaves to go meet Mick at the bar. He tells him about how he is signed up for Maths, English, Irish and Logic.

"Logic?" said Mick. "What’s that?"Jim says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a lawnmower?"

"No." "Then you’re gay".

NOW IS THE TIME TO HAVE THE EXTERIOR OF YOUR PROPERTY PAINTED AND NOT REPEAT THE PROCESS UNTIL 2030.

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Exterior painting and decorating can be a real chore, many properties on the Costa del Sol due to the unpredictable and severe weather that is experienced at the end of the summer and beginning of spring have to be redecorated every 2 to 3 years. Also, due to poor building techniques, many properties suffer from black mould on the interior due to penetrating damp. Another annoying problem is the Sahara sand rain which gets deposited at least twice a year.

In this modern day and age when there are many long life exterior home improvements such as UPVC windows, doors, and shutters etc, which can last for 20 years or more, why can't the same technology be applied to exterior masonry coatings?

Many people are unaware that there is a company called Andura based in Bicester Oxfordshire for over 40 years, who are a BSI registered company and many of their products come with the much coveted British Board of Agrement Certificates.

No Need to Paint Costa del Sol are their exclusive agents. Their products are designed and proven to last in excess of 15 years to stop penetrating damp, still allow the walls to breathe and their coatings are fully washable and fade resistant.

In these difficult times it pays to protect your property and especially not to have the costly re-decorating responsibility every few years.

If you would like to make exterior, painting and maintenance a thing of the past, please feel free to give us a call for an entirely free of obligation survey.

M: 640 519 482 | T: 952 594 425 Info@noneedtopaint.com | www.noneedtopaint.com

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What the butler did...

His Lordship was in the study at Downton Abbey when Carson, the butler, approached and coughed discreetly.

"May I ask you a question, my lord?"

"Go ahead Carson," said his Lordship.

"I am doing the crossword in The Times and I have found a word I am not too clear on." "What word is that?" asked his Lordship.

"Tactfulness," my lord.

"Now that's a difficult one to explain. I would say it is self-assurance or rather complete composure." "Thank you, my lord, but I'm still a little confused."

"Let me give you an example to make it clearer. Do you remember a few months ago the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge arrived to spend a weekend with us?"

"I remember the occasion very well, my lord. It gave the staff and me much pleasure to look after them." "Also, continued the Earl of Grantham, "do you remember Will plucked a rose for Kate in the rose garden?" "I was present on that occasion, my lord, ministering to their needs."

"While plucking the rose, a thorn embedded itself in his thumb very deeply."

Carson replied, "I witnessed the incident, my lord, and saw the Duchess herself remove the thorn and bandage his thumb with her own dainty handkerchief."

"That evening the prick on his thumb was so sore, at dinner Kate had to cut up his venison from our own estate, even though it was extremely tender."

"Yes, my lord, I did see everything that transpired that evening."

"The next morning while you were pouring coffee for Her Ladyship, Kate enquired of Will with a loud voice, 'Darling, is your prick still throbbing?' And you, Carson, did not spill one drop of coffee! Now that is tactfulness!"

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TENDJEWBERRYMUD It's amazing, you will understand the above word by the end of the conversation..... Read aloud for best results. "Tendjewberrymud" Be warned, you're going to find yourself speaking in a "funny" voice for a while after reading this. The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service at a hotel in Asia...

Room Service (RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees" Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service" RS: "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"

G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs" RS: "Ow July den?"

G: "What??"

RS: "Ow July den?...pry, boy, pooch?

G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."

RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?"

G: "Crisp will be fine."

RS : "Hokay. An San tos?"

G: "What?"

RS: "San tos. July San tos?"

G: "I don't think so" RS: "No? Judo one toes??"

G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't

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know what 'judo one toes' means."

RS: "Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes?

Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"

G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

RS: "We bother?"

G: "No..just put the bother on the side."

RS: "Wad?" G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."

RS: "Copy?"

G: "Sorry?"

RS: "Copy...tea...mill?"

G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."

RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye??"

G: "Whatever you say" RS: "Tendjewberrymud" G : "You're welcome."

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Stocking only the very best in ladies fashion including leading quality designer labels Sizes from 10 to 20

(other sizes can be ordered)

Extensive Sales Rack.

Opening Times: Monday - Friday 11am - 6pm Saturday 11am - 3pm

Tel: 952 927 245

Avda. del Mediterraneo 4, San Pedro de Alcรกntara (near Da Bruno Restaurant, opposite the Fishing Boat)

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A Man’s World

AS IF WE NEEDED PROOF! A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch . . .. you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building !!

So, off the lady goes to the Husband Store to find a husband On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous and help with the housework "OH MY GOD!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please! Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

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Health Well Being &

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EVEN IF YOUR BMI IS HEALTHY

HAVING A LARGE WAIST CAN KNOCK AROUND 5 YEARS OFF YOUR LIFE

• A LARGE WAIST INCREASES RISK OF HEART DISEASE, BREATHING PROBLEMS AND CANCER • MEN WITH WAISTS ABOVE 43INS HAVE ABOUT A THREE YEAR LOWER LIFE EXPECTANCY • WOMEN WITH WAISTS ABOVE 37INS HAVE ABOUT A FIVE YEAR LOWER LIFE EXPECTANCY

HAVING A LARGE WAIST CAN KNOCK YEARS OFF YOUR LIFE: Even if your body mass index is healthy, scientists have warned. A study found that men and women with large waist circumferences are more likely to die young than those with small waists. They were also more likely to die from illnesses such as heart disease, respiratory problems, and cancer after accounting for body mass index, smoking, alcohol use and physical activity. The researchers, from the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota, pooled data from 11 different studies, including more than 600,000 people from around the world. They found men with waists 43ins or greater in circumference had a 50 per cent higher mortality rate than men with waists less than 35ins. This translated to about a three year lower life expectancy after the age of 40. Women with a waist circumference of 37ins or greater had about an 80 per cent higher risk of early death than those with a waist circumference of 27ins or less. After the age of 40, this took around five years off life expectancy.

Importantly, risk increased in a linear fashion such that for every two inches of greater circumference, mortality risk went up about seven per cent in men and about nine per cent in women. Another key finding was that the results were observed at all levels of BMI, even among people who had normal BMI levels. Because of the large size of this pooled study, researchers were able to clearly show the independent contribution of waist circumference after accounting for BMI. For those of you out there who have a large waist, trimming down even a few inches, through exercise and diet, could have important health benefits.

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Medical Tips

Prepare Yourself For The Summer Sun...

Become Mole Aware!

Enjoying the sun and the warm temperatures that we are lucky enough to experience here on the coast mean that we have to take extra precautions to protect our skin. Living in the south of Spain, we have to ensure that our raised exposure to the sunlight does not cause serious damages to our skin.

Principally almost everybody has the posibility to develop a darker pigmentation to the skin, we get tanned after being in the sun, some more than others, this is related to our skin type. The skin pigmentation is our natural sun protection.

The melanocytes, staying upon the basalmembran get stimulated by the UV-A and UV-B radiation, they produce more melanin (which is the colour) and with their "tentacles " they are able to divide the melanin to the surrounding epidermal cells. The melanin is placed right above the nucleus and it works like a parasol, trying to avoid damage to your DNA. So it is easy to understand, that a person, who is not able to

In these instances it means that the normal structure of the nevus has changed, the cells are showing irregular cell division. You can find that this can happen with a family history ("syndrom of dysplastic nevus") but also without a family history. The dysplastic nevus is suspicous to be a precursor of a melanoma, so it should be removed by minor surgery and then sent away for analysis.

In the last decade evidence shows a worldwide increase of melanoma. In the year 2000 the risk factor of melanomas was 1 in 75. The majority of the melanomas show an initial superficial spreading and in the second stage they grow deeper into the tissue. We can see a very important trend, the vertical thickness of the melanoma is a reliable marker for the risk of sending metastasis to the rest of the body.

It is clear that early diagnosis is the most important thing and indeed, if we remove melanomas with less than 1 mm thickness ("low risk melanomas") it has been found that the healing rate is up to 95% in patients.

The key to all of this is that you are aware of any changes and that you follow the simple ABCDE guidelines (as detailed earlier). Remember that in the initial stages skin cancer

build up a strong pigmentation has a lesser natural protection against the UV-radiation. Apart from that homogen pigmentation of our skin almost everybody has some pigmented lesions, called birthmarks, moles, nevus, lentigines and so on.

We could write a textbook on pigmented moles as it is difficult to explain and distinguish between the different types of pigmented moles, in a consise way. However, we wanted to give you some ideas / advice on how to look at any pigmented lesions you may have and how to act in a responsable way, in terms of checking these out and if necessary getting treatment.

When we take a look at the benign pigmented moles, we find that nearly all of them are round or oval, in a symmetric aspect, they have sharp and clear border, most of them are only one colour, there diameter (of each mole) is not more than 6mm and there is not any change to the thickness or size of the mole.

All these parameters (mentioned above) are reflected in the ABCDE-rule, which is a very good method for you the reader to become more aware of any moles you may have: A: Asymmetry B: Border C: Color D: Diameter E: Elevation and / or Enlargement Sometimes we can see moles with a different apperance: not symmetric, unsharp border´s, many colors or larger than 6mm. These moles need to be examined.

(melanomas) never have any symptoms such as pain or itching, they just grow.

Here are some examples of pigmented tumors, for you to use with the ABCDE guide: Picture 1: Pigmented nodule: showing several colors, loss of structure. Suspicous to be a nodular melanoma or a pigmented basalioma Picture 2: Superficial increased pigmented lesion: showing different colors, diffuse and curved margin, secundar development of a nodular part. Suspicious to be a superficial spreading melanoma with a secundar nodular part.

Picture 3: Pigmented mole in a deep brown: showing a loss of pigmentation and structure in the middle. Curved spreading margin, suspicious to be a superficial spreading melanoma Picture 4: Pigmented lesion with several colors: has a loss of structure and pigmentation, diffused margin, it is suspicous to be a initial melanoma developed on a dysplastic nevus Before the summer sun and UV rays intensify, now is the perfect time to get any moles you may have checked out by your healthcare professional. Dr. Kuhn, is a Preferred Partner of “medilink” and a leading Dermatlogist with clinics in both Marbella & Fuengirola. For more information on Dr. Kuhn or any of our other Preferred Partners call “medilink” on 952 93 38 76.

A

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B

C

D

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Medical Test Mix Up

Mr. Smith goes to the doctor's office to collect his wife's test results.

The lab tech says to him, "I'm sorry, sir, but there has been a bit of a mix-up and we have a problem. When we sent the samples from your wife to the lab, the samples from another Mrs. Smith were sent as well and we are now uncertain which one is your wife's. Frankly, that's either bad or terrible." "What do you mean?"

"Well, one Mrs. Smith has tested positive for Alzheimer's disease and the other for Herpes. We can't tell which is your wife."

"That's terrible! Can we do the test again?" asked Mr. Smith.

"Normally, yes. But you don’t have full medical insurance, and they won't pay for these expensive tests more than once."

"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"

"The insurance company recommends that you drop your wife off in the middle of town. If she finds her way home, don't sleep with her."

One day an Irishman goes into a pharmacy - reaches into his pocket and takes out a small Irish whiskey bottle and a teaspoon. He pours some whiskey onto the teaspoon and offers it to the chemist.

"Could you taste this for me, please?"

The chemist takes the teaspoon, puts it in his mouth, swills the liquid around and swallows it.

"Does that taste sweet to you?" says Paddy. "No, not at all," says the chemist.

"Oh that's a relief, “says Paddy." “The doctor told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.�

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BOE UBJMPS FWFSZ DBSF QBDLBHF UP NFFU ZPVS B OE UBJMPS FWFSZ DBSF QBDLBHF UP NFFU ZPVS tt 4USPLF 3FIBCJMJUBUJPO 4USPLF 3FIBCJMJUBUJPO TTQFDJmD OFFET QFDJmD OFFET tt 1BMMJBUJWF $BSF 1BMMJBUJWF $BSF tt 0SUIPQBFEJD 3FIBCJMJUBUJPO 0SSUUIPQBFEJD 3FIBCJMJUBUJPO Established on the Costa del Sol since 2001 tt 3FTQJUF $BSF 3FTQJUF $BSF TTelephone: elephone: 952 835 776 tt %JTUSJDU /VSTJOH 4FSWJDFT %JTUSJDU /VSTJOH 4FSWJDFT 24 Hour Helpline: 667 733 520 tt (FOFSBM $BSF 4VQQPSU -JWF *O $BSF (FOFSBM $BSF 4VQQPSU -JWF *O $BSF tt &TDPSUFE 3FQBUSJBUJPO )PNF &TDPSSUUFE 3FQBUSJBUJPO )PNF www.medicarenursingservices.com www.medicarenursingservices.com Q Quality uality iinn eevery very aaspect spect ooff ccare are aass w well ell aass ssupport upport iinn ttimes imes ooff nneed! eed! info@medicarenursingservices.com info@medicarenursingservices.com

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Top 10 facts about

WIMBLEdON

1. In 1995, Tim Henman became the first person ever to be disqualified from Wimbledon. The reason? He lost his temper and angrily smashed a ball away, straight into the face of an innocent young ball girl. Henman was mortified when he realised, and later gave the girl some flowers to apologise.

2. The last time anyone used a wooden racket at Wimbledon was in 1987.

3. Each year, 250 ball boys and ball girls are employed to work at Wimbledon. On average they are 15 years old and earn about £150 for the two weeks that they work.

4. All players must wear white clothing and dress ‘decently’. The umpire decides if players meet the strict dress code and can make them get changed. Andre Agassi refused to play between 1988 and 1990 because he didn’t like the dress code and what he regarded as a ‘stuffy’ atmosphere.

5. During World War II, 5 bombs hit Centre Court, destroying 1,200 seats. It took 9 years for the court to be fully restored.

6. It was only in 2007 that the prize money for male and female tennis players was equalised after campaigns from Venus Williams and others.

7. Wimbledon always starts on the sixth Monday before the first Monday of August.

8. In 1986, yellow tennis balls were introduced. Before that the balls were white and umpires had difficulty seeing them.

9. The youngest ever player at Wimbledon was Mita Klima from Austria, who was 13 years old when she played in 1907.

10. Each year at Wimbledon 28,000kg of strawberries are eaten along with 7,000 litres of cream.

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The 15 Unspoken Rules Of Working In An Office

Some people are blessed with brilliant jobs that allow them to get out and about without ever having to sit behind a desk or stare at a computer all day long.

However, some of us have the exact opposite: A job that entails sitting in an office all day long, never leaving the building and barely seeing the light of day... But did you know there are basic office rules? Unspoken, unwritten and simply unknown unless someone tells you, here are the 15 most important unspoken office rules.

1) Don't eat food from the kitchen that doesn't belong to you.

2) Don't leave all your dirty dishes in the sink for someone else to clean up.

3) Reply-all to emails that do not, in any way shape or form, require you to reply to all.

4) Heat up fish in the microwave.

5) Eat eggs at your desk. NO. STOP THAT NOW. 6) Ignore important emails that require an immediate response.

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The 15 Unspoken Rules Of Working In An Office

Continued here are the basic office rules....

Unspoken, unwritten and simply unknown unless someone tells you, here are the 15 most important unspoken office rules.

7) Have a horrible poo and then leave any form of toilet door open.

8) Do the above and then not flush. What is this, primary school?

9) CC people into an email that simply do not need to be there.

10) Schedule a meeting which only has the purpose of wasting people's time.

11) Play any form of music/video without headphones.

12) Type really, really loudly.

13) Take your shoes off. Are you serious?

14) Take things from some else's desk without asking.

15) Do the above, then claim it as your own. What a bad person you are.

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DUMPED...?

Have you seen some of the cars dumped at Malaga Airport? They sit there and collect dust year after year and are never collected, presumably by owners that have now left Spain.

This seems to be a problem in Dubai as well – They are very strict about debt there, If you don’t keep up the payments on your car, they don’t just repossess the car, they throw you in prison. So many luxury car owners that can’t make the payments flee the country, driving to airport and never going back - These are some of the results!

Ferrari Enzo

Jaguar XJ 220 BMW M6

Ferrari Mondial Mercedes S Class

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Range Rover

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Terribly Brilliant One-Liners From A Few British Comedians

The British are a funny bunch... Boasting some of the world's best comedians past and present, they pretty much invented sarcasm. There quick wit and tendency to basically take the right royal p*ss out of anyone and everyone sets them apart from the rest of the comedic world. So, to celebrate the one thing they know they are good at, here are some brilliantly hilarious one-liners from a selection of British comedians. Enjoy!

1) "I can still enjoy sex at 74. I live at 75 so it's no distance." - Bob Monkhouse 2) "I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my father... Not screaming and terrified like his passengers." - Bob Monkhouse

3) "The people next door are awful. At three o'clock this morning they were banging on the walls and screaming. It's a good job I wasn't trying to sleep I was playing my drums at the time." - Les Dawson 4) "I went to the doctor and asked for something for persistent wind.

He gave me a kite." - Les Dawson 5) "Once I painted a girl in the nude. I almost froze to death!" - Tommy Cooper 6) "I said to my gym instructor, "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."" - Tommy Cooper

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Terribly Brilliant One-Liners From A Few British Comedians It’s funny continued!

7) "I rang BT and said, "I'd like to report a nuisance caller please."

He said, "Oh, not you again!"" - Frank Carson 8) "My Dad always used to say fight fire with fire, which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade." - Peter Kay 9) "I saw this advert in a window that said: 'TV for sale, £1, volume stuck on full'. I thought to myself, "I just can't turn that down." - Tim Vine 10) "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again." - Tim Vine 11) "My boyfriend had a sex manual but he was dyslexic. I was lying there and he was looking for my vinegar." - Victoria Wood 12) "On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was.

When I told him I didn't he said, "Do you mind if I mug you here?"" - Paul Merton 13) "I have no problems buying tampons, I'm a fairly modern man, but apparently they're not a proper present." - Jimmy Carr 14) "David Cameron says he'll put a cap on immigrants coming into the UK. That's wrong...

Immigrants should be able to wear whatever they like." - Jimmy Carr

GARDEN CENTER L I N D AV I S TA

52

Ctra de Cadiz, Km171,29670, San Pedro de Alcantara, Behind McDonalds in San Pedro. Tel; 952785206

CLM©2008

HU GE RA NGE OF: POT S lG ARD E N TO OLS lPLA NT S FLOW ERS & S HRU B S lG A RDEN FU RNI TU RE lG A R D E N O R N A M E N TS

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FINANCIAL NEWS

Well what happened to the British pound last month, it started off in the 1.25500 and then dropped nearly 1cent in the week, it liked the markets reaction and the news that interest rates in the UK were set to increase in 2014 not 2015, not good news for mortgage holders in the UK as their repayments will definitely go up!!! so belts will have to be tightened!!

Consumer spending was also down in the UK with a drop in food, clothes and household goods, spending will also be down due to England early exist from the world cup, Spain's spending will also be down!

The IMF was in Europe last week meeting with EU Finance ministers, Ms Legard is trying to pursued the ECB to start buying government bonds, another name for Q.E. (printing money) France is not having a good time at the moment, Mr Holland will have to look at government cut backs on spending and not raising tax. The Euro fell against the USD, GPB and the Aussie $. Sterling was having a whale of time and truly bashed the USD reaching the dizzy height s if 1.70 It looks as though the British pound will stay where it is hovering between 1.24500 and 1.2500 unless there is major good news from the euro zone.

To find out how Moneycorp can help you achieve more on your exchange of currency, whether you are buying, or selling, contact our currency partner Moneycorp on 952 587 657.

Please mention Costa Link Magazine when contacting our currency partner.

Or email costalink@moneycorp.com.

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July 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/24/14 12:15 PM Page 56 This irresistible cheesecake is the perfect indulgence for peanut butter fans - freeze for up to two months and serve as a show-stopping dinner party dessert.

Peanut Butter Cheesecake

Ingredients:

For the Base: 50g butter 175g pack peanut cookies For the Filling: 5 gelatine leaves 500g tub ricotta 175g smooth peanut butter

Method:

175g golden syrup 150ml milk For the Base: 270ml pot double cream 2 tbsp soft brown sugar 1 bar peanut brittle, crushed

1) Oil and line a 20cm round loose - bottomed cake tin with cling film, making it as smooth as possible. Melt the butter in a pan. Crush the biscuits by bashing them in a bag with a rolling pin, then stir them into the butter until very well coated. Press the mixture firmly into the base of the tin and chill. 2) Soak the gelatine in water while you make the filling. Tip the ricotta into a bowl, then beat in the peanut butter and syrup. Ricotta has a slightly grainy texture so blitz until smooth with a stick blender for a smoother texture if you prefer. 3) Take the soaked gelatine from the water and squeeze dry. Put it into a pan with the milk and heat very gently until the gelatine dissolves. Beat into the peanut mixture, then tip onto the biscuit base. Chill until set.

4) To freeze, leave in the tin and as soon as it is solid, cover the surface with cling film, then wrap the tin with cling film and foil. 5) To defrost, thaw in the fridge overnight.

6) To serve, carefully remove from the tin. Whisk the cream with the sugar until it holds its shape, then spread on top of the cheesecake and scatter with the peanut brittle.

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What’s On

Guide

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23rd May - 21st September: Abu Simbel Temple Museum, the treasure of the Gods come to Marbella Lovers of ancient Egypt will be able to enjoy an exact replica of the great Abu Simbel Egyptian Temple. For more information call 952 82 82 44 this expo is being held at Palacio de Ferias, Congresos y Exposiciones de Marbella.

2nd - 7th July: Estepona Feria 17th - 27th July: La Linea Feria - All feria’s have music, food, drinks, stalls, rides and your chance to win that pink furry toy by hitting a balloon with a wonky dart. The Spanish love to party and feria week is no exception. Summer feria week is different in every town so why not give them both a try!

LIve Music in Estepona & Manilva July 2014: For live music fans in the Estepona, Manilva area Live Music Restaurant Swing has on: the 5th July - Mandy L is playing then on the 19th of July Mr Malph is doing his thing then on the 2nd of August you can see Danny Vaughn for more information call 952 796 320 or email: ticket@livemusicspain.com.

11th July - 13th July: The 101 Sun Festival. One of the musical events of the summer in Malaga the 101 has an extremely varied line-up, groups like Amaral, Toundra, the British Temples or Russian Red will be among the participants in this festival. Over these three days, more than 20,000 people will be able to enjoy the best live music by leading bands on the national and international music scene. The Festival will be held at two venues: the Estadio Olímpico Ciudad de Málaga and La Térmica. For more information see www.101sunfestival.com/.

23rd July - 23rd August: Starlite Festival comes to Marbella. The stage is surrounded by 60 metre-high rock walls which creates an incredible atmosphere, like an isolated litte world beneath the stars.World-class acts include Ricky Martin, Tom Jones, the Pet Shops Boys and Kool and the Gang. For more information see www.starlitefestival.com.

Every Monday: 1st Coin Brownies meet 5pm-6.30pm at El Centro Nazareno in Coin. Suitable forages 7-10 years. Great fun for the girls. Contact www.1stcoinbrownies.info Every Monday: 11 am – 1 pm: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain at La Iglesia Bar, near Bonanza Square, Benalmadena Costa.

Every Monday: Arts and Crafts Fair in Benahavis at 8pm in the Main Square in Benahavis.

Every Tuesday: The Costa Women Coffee Club meet every second Tuesday at 10am – 12.30pm for coffee, chats and other activities and is a social group designed to get ladies of all ages together. It’s best to join the group via Facebook or contact Emma on 608 408 771.

Every Tuesday: Dance with JiveSpain Miraflores Resturant from 8pm - 11pm. For more information see website at www.jivespain.com or call Colin on: 635 717 211.

Every Tuesday: 11 am – 1 pm Age Care Coffee Morning where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain at the Cafe in Supersol, El Zoco, Calahonda or call us on Tel 952 933 409 for more information.

Every Wednesday: at 11:30am the Malaga Picasso Museum is offering free guided tours in English which is included with the price of admission Every Wednesday: Dance with JiveSpain at El Campanario, San Pedro, from 8pm - 11pm.

For more information seee website at www.jivespain.com or call Colin on: 635 717 211.

Every Thursday: Dance with JiveSpain at Tikitano Restaurant, Estepona from 8pm - 11pm.

For more information seee website at www.jivespain.com or call Colin on: 635 717 211.

Every Thursday: Market at Calypso, Calahonda.

Every Thursday: Flea Market from 9am next to Aldi in Las Lagunas, plenty of parking.

Every Thursday: 10 am – 12.30 pm: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain at Manilla Bar, Paseo Maritimo, Los Boliches, Fuengirola.

Every Friday: Dance with JiveSpain at Hotel El Goleto, Duquesa from 8pm - 11pm. For more information see website at www.jivespain.com or call Colin on: 635 717 211.

Every Sunday: Dance with JiveSpain take over the dance floor at Atalaya Park Hotel. For more information see website at www.jivespain.com or call Colin on: 635 717 211.

Every Sunday: Flea Market EVERY Sunday 10am till 2pm at Calypso, Calahonda.

Every Sunday: FAMA have a car boot sale at the Hippodrome from 9am - 2pm.

Every Sunday: Craft Market every Sunday in the Marbella Marina on the Teresa Zabell Pier: 12-6pm.

July 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 6/24/14 12:15 PM Page 59

Marble Floor Polishing Phone Paul: 654 589 218

Before

After

Free advice on how to care for your floors at www.marblefloor.info

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ocal Info Emergency Numbers

---

Central number for Fire, Police & Ambulance National Police Local Police Guardia Civil dica

Medical

112 091 092 062

Emergency 061 Ambulance Marbella 902 505 061 Ambulance Coin 952 453 267

Train Timetables 902 240 202 Airports Malaga 952 048 844 Gibraltar 956 773 026

Health Centres

Marbella 952 769 946 Coin 952 452 767 San Pedro 952 787 700

Town Halls

Marbella 952 761 100 San Pedro 952 453 020 La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208 Fuengirola 952 589 300 Estepona 952 801 100

Fire Brigade

Emergency number 080 Marbella 952 774 349 Estepona 952 804 483 Fuengirola 952 461 046

Consulates

British Ireland Denmark Sweden Germany France U.S.A

952 952 952 952 952 952 952

Marbella Coin Estepona Fuengirola San Pedro

952 771 442 952 822 818 952 822 818 952 467 457 952 785 252

352 475 226 604 212 226 474

300 108 373 383 442 590 891

Tourist Information

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Transport

Bus Stations Marbella 952 764 400 Coin 952 450 366 San Pedro 952 781 396 Estepona 952 800249 For a list of complete times www.andalucia.com/travel/bus

Markets

Monday - Marbella (fairground site on east side) Tuesday - Fuengirola (fairground near Los Boliches) Wednesday - Calypso (Mijas Costa & Estepona (Avda. Juan Carlos) La Cala - Feria ground Thursday - San Pedro (Recinto Ferial) Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama) Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano Pineda) & Nueva Andalucia (Next to Centro Plaza the Bullring).

La Cala - Feria ground.

Sunday - Puerto Estepona (Marina).

Cinemas

All the Cinemas listed below show films in English as well as Spanish. Call first to check what is showing that week.

Marbella: Cinesur Plaza del Mar 952 766 941 La CaĂąada 902 333 231 Puerto Banus: Gran Marbella 952 810 077 Coin: La Trocha 951 315 039 Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221 622

Chemists

24 hour chemist Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz Km 194. Marbella.

Tel: 952 83 25 89

Taxis

Marbella Taxis 952 774 488 Mijas Costa Taxis 952 476 593

Diary Dates

04/07/2014: Independence Day. 02/07/2014 - 07/07/2014: Estepona Feria.

16/07/2014: Virgin del Carmen Andalucia: The Virgen del Carmen is the patron saint of fishermen.

Places where you can see this fiesta Estepona, Fuengirola and Marbella.

17/07/2014 - 27/07/2014: La LĂ­nea Feria.

if you would like to sponsor this page please call 663 061 669

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S TA R S I GN S

A look at what's in store for you during July 2014.....

Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

Aries

Taurus

Gemini 62

Capricorn July 2014 brings issues with, relationships… This month all the interest will go towards love, marriage, collaboration or social interaction in general. Jupiter entered Capricorn's house of couples at the end of last month, where it'll stay for one year. In this period the need for love will grow a lot and there can be many happy opportunities. Therefore, a lot of action is to be expected. Passionate tendencies will be very strong, so you might be in for many hot nights. All throughout July 2014 you'll work hard, you'll have emergencies, you'll go through situations which will demand that you take some fast decisions or which will imply competition, rivalry or conflicts. Money will appear to be very important in July 2014. Your professional objectives will be especially oriented towards the material aspects, rather than towards visibility and success. Avoid the situations that are likely to generate conflicts!

Aquarius, July 2014 will bring good news. Venus, the planet of love, is in your house of couples this transit will make you have higher sentimental availability and a special charm, which attracts and offers delight. July 2014 will be a busy month, with a lot of work and with all sorts of obligations, in which you'll succeed only if you organize yourself very well. By working systematically, though, you can do in a month as others in a year and, in addition to that, you can boost your income. July 2014 will be a top month, in which all this will acquire a more obvious profile. But it'll also be a very busy month, putting continuous pressure on you, even more visible in the second half. July is a great time to make new friends why not start new collaborations!

Pisces, there's a very romantic month in store for you. Jupiter will spend the last days in your sign well before leaving it on July 16th 2014. The last of these will be the most efficient days, because it will have the Sun by its side this combination in your sign will bring love and passion, also a thirst for adventure and good luck. This will last until the 23rd of July, make the most of this time! With such a good month in the stars July 2014 would be a great time for a holiday and just to have fun. However, if you need to work, you must boost your efficiency so that you have as much time for non-professional activities! Have as much fun as you can! It'll be the perfect period for it. You'll have a lot of physical energy, and the morale will be at its best. Excellent for dancing, sport and any other physical activity. A great month for you Pisces – try to make the most of it!

Aries, Mars is spending its last days in your sign. This will take with it some conflicts or rivalry that have been with you awhile. Up until then avoid imposing your point of view in a too direct or firm way! This month is a great time to organise a family reunion or start shopping for things you want for your home life! At work the first part of July 2014 sees Mercury get involved in your everyday actions together with Venus this will bring a profitable period ahead of you. All sorts of ideas will spring to mind; you'll find it very easy to make calculations. You'll start new things, you'll get involved in various procedures and you'll be working very hard. This is good because financially, there will be reasons for optimism. You’ll be feeling full of life and vitality take advantage of July 2014 in order to reach a better physical shape.

Taurus, the astrological trends of July 2014 will be practical rather than romantic. You’ll be looking at your relationship through different eyes, without the rose tinted glasses on and maybe you will want to make some changes because of this. In the last week of July 2014 your feelings will change why not take a trip with your loved one, you may have some groveling to do! July 2014 will be a lively and effervescent month, which will keep you busy almost all the time at work. You'll be on the move, you'll meet a lot of people who could become new clients or business partners. Venus and Mercury promise lots of good news on the finance front of things there will be gifts for you and also other material advantages to the month. Don't waste money on things that please you but are costly and useless! If you've had health problems in the last eight months, you can now expect them to decrease.

Gemini, with Venus, the planet of love, located precisely in Gemini, the first two weeks in July 2014 will be a delight: love will easily find its way to you and the universe will conspire to fill your heart with joy. If you are single July will be a fantastic time to find love. It'll be a period with important financial connotations for you. You'll be in for higher amount of income than usual, but there will also be risks of higher expenses than the regular ones. Enjoy all the pleasures July 2014 will offer you, but don't spend excessively! This month will see you in a good shape again. Venus and Mercury will be in your sign for the next year bringing with them a cheerful and optimistic mood, you’ll see the bright side of things.

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Cancer

Leo

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio

Sagittarius

Cancer, July 2014 the register will change. After it has been by your side for one year, Jupiter will your sign, life may lose a bit of the adventure maybe it will cool down a bit. This maybe a good thing from a general point of view, the pressure that you feel is pushing you this way and that may drop a somewhat. Relationships will be more harmonious and cooperation and understanding on the home front being easier and less stressful. At work the Sun will cross the sign of Cancer, which means that it will make you stand out, will highlight your skills and image. It will lend you a lot of ambition and energy, though, which is exactly what you need to get success. There are no reasons for you to worry about health you'll be self-confident, optimistic and in a good mood all month!

Leo, July 2014 brings with it favorable circumstances especially where relationships based on friendship are concerned it promises to be a lot of fun for all parties involved. Why not get yourself out and about get involved in-group activities. In the first part of July 2014, you can count on very good popularity, at work. You'll develop profit in the projects you are working on you’ll also bring together several people that share the same goal. However, you seem to lack enthusiasm. You'll recuperate, though, in the second part of the month. On July 16th 2014, Jupiter will enter your sign for one year you'll live in a climate of expansion and optimism, in which life will be exciting, things will happen to your advantage, there will be various opportunities to improve the material, professional and social status. Everything will be very good, on one condition: that you do everything in moderation!

Virgo Mercury will in your sign throughout July 2014 this will generate a romantic mood a higher need for love and tenderness. If you are single, now is a great time to meet someone. This month favors going out, socialising and meeting new people. In the first two weeks of July 2014, the Sun will be shining on you promoting your image bringing light to relationships all making for success and recognition.

Expect things to work by themselves accomplishments will come without much effort or at least with effort that you'll take pleasure in making and that will bring you satisfactions. It seems that things will go very well financially too. You'll have energy and morale will be very high. Go out as often as possible and make new friends!

Libra, the first two weeks of July 2014 will be very animated and could provide some wonderful moments, but also moments that will just really annoy you. Venus will cross the highest area of your horoscope, bringing and celebrating love but on the other hand Mars will bring relationships to the foreground. This is not something new, it has been happening since December but, although Mars in Libra highlights the partnership sphere, it doesn't always do it in a pleasant way. The good news is that on July 28th 2014 Mars will finally leave Libra. Therefore, the pressure will drop, some disputes will solve and relationships will become more harmonious. At work it will be a period full of accomplishments! You will love the work you are doing and your efforts will be rewarded financially. You'll be in a good shape throughout the month physically and stresses of late will ebb away throughout July.

Scorpio, Venus will be brining love to your sign for the first two weeks of July. This month favors going out maybe meeting new people. Why not take a trip you may find a long-distance love affair start. July 2014 will be a month of success with studies or other work projects of negations. All the stars are with you at this time to facilitate advancement, honors and success. On 23rd of July, still in Scorpio's house of career will enter the Sun too, full of glamour. The first part of July 2014 promises to bring you some financial satisfactions. Benefits will come through a partner or associates maybe related to banks or other financial institutions. Now is a great time to start making ambitious, grand projects. Try to take it easy and relax when you can, just because you feel superhuman doesn’t always mean you are.

Sagittarius, July 2014 brings a more complicated period from a relationship point of view. This month sees a relationship going through a complex period of change there are certain things that don't go as they should, it'll now be the best time to take a step back and access it. Look at things from a different perspective, it's possible for you and your partner to be preoccupied with material problems or for your partner to have prevailing financial preoccupations. In July 2014, the balance of value will assess many things. A business, a loan, some inheritance, a partition or another material issue in which third parties are involved will come (back) to the foreground. Trips and people from far away and foreign countries will become important pieces in the picture, maybe even as regards making decisions. This month will see you making your calculations carefully try not to spend excessively!

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puzzle Link The Words

Solutions on page 76

it out

In each of these puzzles, three words are listed. All you have to do is find another word that can preceed each of these 3 words.

1)

_____

3)

_____

2) 4) 5)

FACE

WISE

MOUSE

CALL

____

BREW

___

PET

___

LETTER

IN

WORK

HELP

PARK

KEYS

FLY

HANDED

LINE

Guess The Celeb

A

B

Sudoku

Brain Teaser

Who Did It? After a local Post Office burglary, five suspects were being interviewed.

Below is a summary of their statements.

Police know that each of them told the truth in one of the statements and lied in the other.

From this information can you tell who committed the crime?

Brian said: It wasn't Charles - It was Alan Derek said: It was Charles - It wasn't Alan Charles said: It was Brian - It wasn't Eric Alan said: It was Eric - It wasn't Brian

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Eric said: It was Derek - It was Alan

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Crossword

Across:

7. South Park character (7) 9. Cognisant (5) 10. Vestment worn by priests (3) 11. From Montevideo perhaps? (9) 12. Mess up (5) 14. Emitting a smell (7) 16. Ban on trade (7) 18. Small column or pillar (5) 19. Type of biscuit (9) 20. Large flightless bird (3) 21. White of an egg (5) 22. Vegetables battered and deep-fried (7)

Down:

1. Word game (8) 2. Dull (4) 3. Attack from hiding (6) 4. Capital of Mozambique (6) 5. Male singing voice (8) 6. Cruel (4) 8. One who diagnoses and treats disorders of the nervous system (11) 13. Sled (8) 15. Kitchen utensil (8) 17. Place to stay on holiday (6) 18. Warm and humid (6) 19. Canines (4) 20. Small ornamental bag (4)

Name The Film

A This 1968 film stars Dick Van Dyke as B

1 1 1 1

This 2012 film sees MI6 and the main secret agent come under attack. One of the lead characters dies at the end of the film.

Say What You See...

SPOT

just

looking

an eccentric professor he invents wacky machinery including a flying car.

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The Jokes page

Jokes page

The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, "I'm so happy to see you grandma.

Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us."

The grandmother was curious.

"What trick is that my dear?" she asked.

The little boy replied, "I heard daddy tell mummy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit us again."

A panda bear walks into a bar, and tells the bartender that he wants to have lunch. The bartender gives him a menu and he orders.

The panda bear eats his lunch, and when he finishes, he gets up to leave. Suddenly, the panda bear pulls an AK-47 out of his fur, and shoots the bar to pieces. He then heads for the door. The shocked bartender jumps out from behind the destroyed bar and yells, "Hey, what do you think you're doing? You ate lunch, shot up my bar, and now you're just going to leave?"

The panda bear answers calmly, "I'm a panda bear." The bartender says, "Yeah, so?" The panda bear replies, "Look it up," and walks out the door. The bartender jumps back behind the ruined bar and grabs his encyclopedia. He looks up "panda bear," and sure enough, there is a picture of the panda bear. He reads the caption, which says, "Panda Bear--a cuddly, black and white creature.

Eats shoots and leaves."

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realise that a little tap would scare you so much. "The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault.

Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years.

68

A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her."

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like hell they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this," She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced.

Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."

An ice cream van owner was found dead today in his van. The man was discovered under the ice cream dispenser, covered in ice cream, hundreds and thousands and raspberry syrup.

Police believe he topped himself.

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puzzle Trivia Quiz Answers

1) Elephant 2) Madrid 3) Pakistan and Afghanistan 4) Knee joint 5) Hippocratic Oath 6) Prince Rainier of Monaco 7) Tea 8) Virgo 9) Open University 10) St Petersberg 11) Vicar of Dibley 12) Eastenders 13) The only way is Essex (TOWIE) 14) Wine glasses 15) Anne Robinson 16) The Dambusters raid 17) Eight 18) Copper 19) The Phoenix 20) Plums 21) Saffron 22) Mary Quant 23) Almonds 24) Veins 25) 0 and 1 26) Archibald Alexander Leach 27) Sneezy 28) John Logie Baird 29) 12 30) April

Answers from 20, 66 & 67

it out

Link The Words 1) Clock 2) Home 3) House 4) Car 5) Red

Guess The Celeb

a) Andy Murray b) Kat Slatter / Moon (Jessie Wallace)

Brain Teaser

Answer: Derek was the culprit.

Looking at Brian's statement if it was Charles, then Brian was lying in his first statement, which makes the second statement true. Which would mean that it was both Charles and Alan. So it can't be Charles.Which means Derek was lying in his first statement, which makes the second statement true.

Therefore it can't be Alan. So Eric's second statement must be false, meaning his first statement was true, therefore it was Derek.

Crossword Solution

Sudoku Solution

Name The Film

a) Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968) b) Skyfall (2012)

Say What You See 1) Looking Out for Number One

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2) X Marks the Spot 3) Just Right

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