Costa Link Magazine June 2011

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C o s t a l I n k MAGAZINE COVERING COSTA DEL SOL - INCLUDING FUENGIROLA, LA CALA, CALAHONDA, ELVIRIA, MARBELLA, PUERTO BANUS, SAN PEDRO, ESTEPONA, LA DUQUESA, SABINILLAS, SOTOGRANDE, ALHAURIN & COíN.

JUNE 2011 NO. 51

W W W. C O S TA L I N K M A G A Z I N E . C O M WWW.COSTALINKMAGAZINE.COM

Jokes H o ro s c o p e s

Local Info Bar & Restaurant Guide

Kids Page What’s On Guide Puzzles

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Ed’s Note

Contact Us Tel: 663 061 669 Email:

Well what a busy month May was – with National Donut week (my personal favorite) The F.A. Cup final, and that’s was just for starters! sales@costalinkmagazine.com It seems that this month will be no slouch either – there are more and more people here every day as the weather gets better and parking gets harder! have the Le Mans 24hr race to look forward to www.costalinkmagazine.com We and Wimbledon as well. On a more local note we have the Marbella Feria this month – a whole week of fun and festivities from the 11th. And San Juan costalink.magazine Night on the 23rd, It’s the one night of the year where you are allowed to camp on the beach and Deposito Legal: MA-228-2007 have a bonfire. This happens along the coast and is a great fun event so pack up your sleeping bag Deadline Date: 18th of each and join in the fun. The tradition is to dress in month. white and it's common to see people jumping over No part of this publication, including fires which, according to legend, cleanse the body pictures may be copied, SCANNED, and the soul. Jumping in the sea at midnight is used or reproduced without our prior supposed to be a way to wash away evil spirits written consent. well it’s a worth a go isn’t it?And don’t forget Dad! Costa Link Magazine accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, Its father’s day (in the UK) on the 18th. It promises to be fun month, and time to stock up claims made by our advertisers or on the sun cream……………. information provided by our contributors.

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e u s s I e n u J e h T Inside W hat’s On

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Guide

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A W o m a n’ s W o r l d It’s time to go home when..... 8) You've started to sound like

1) You have absolutely no idea where

your shoes are. 2) You've just had to get someone to help you pull your knickers up in the ladies room. 3) You suddenly decide you want to start a fight with “some b*tch”. 4) In your last trip to the bathroom you realise you now look more like Gail from Coronation Street than the goddess you were just four hours ago. 5) You start crying and telling everyone you see that you love them soooooo much. 6) You've found a deeper side to the office nerd. 7) The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing becomes strangely overwhelming.

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Bonnie Tyler from the cigarettes you've smoked, because (as you've mentioned ten times by now!) you only smoke when you drink. 9) You start every conversation with a booming, “Don't take this the wrong way but...” 10) You fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when you sit on it. 11) You're tired so you just sit on the floor (and why not!) 12) You show your friends that girls can wee standing up if they really want. 13) You believe that dancing with your arms over your head and wiggling your bottom while yelling “woo-hoo” is truly the sexiest dance move around.

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says people want to kill him.......Music mogul and reality TV master Simon Cowell has apparently had to massively increase his security, due to the vast volume of death threats he’s been receiving. The face of The X Factor is said to have ordered extra-high security gates for his LA mansion, along with new fencing and security lighting. He told The Daily Star that he gets more than 500 hate-filled emails each week from wannabe popstars that he’s chucked off his shows and ended their fifteen minutes. He told the paper: 'People want to kill me. It’s serious and we have a lot of security now for that reason. My bosses told me they have been shown emails threatening my life. They said one man wanted to stab me. It sent a chill down me. But I'm used to it.' According to an unnamed source, the audition period is said to be the most dangerous part of the show for the judges, as some of the contestants don't take rejection very well. Not surprising really, when you see what nut jobs often attend these auditions, all pumped full of hope, desperate longing or a god complex. The newest judge on the US X Factor, Cheryl Cole, has already caused a stir among the show's fans by taking Paula Abdul's coveted seat next to Cowell on the judging panel. However, Paula didn't seem to mind, describing her new colleague as 'lovely'. Well that’s nice. But to be honest, with Simon receiving all these death threats, I don’t think I’d be fighting to be the one next to him…

8

..... s w e N Baby

Hot Goss !

Rumours are circulating that Victoria Beckham plans to give birth to her fourth child on 4 July – which of course just happens to be one of America’s biggest national holidays. After spending four years in their adopted home it seems Victoria and David Beckham are getting in a patriotic spirit when it comes to planning the arrival of their first baby girl. According to sources who’ve blabbed to The Sun, Posh had planned on a C-section in London’s Portland hospital on 4 July, but now she’s switched the birth location to the States, “It's going to be a massive family affair in America. While the date hasn't changed, it was decided an LA clinic would be best for the immediate family. Vic and David love America, its culture and her people, who have welcomed them with open arms. The most important thing is the health of mother and baby and things can always change last minute. But if it's possible for the baby to be born on Independence Day, Vic and David will be thrilled."We bet the baby will be happy too, she'll get an even bigger party on her birthday every year...

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Valuable thoughts on life • Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. • Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant. • The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. • How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? • You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time. • The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers. • The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. • Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. • The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy It’s time to advertise in the a replacement. Costa Link Magazine

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TraVel TrIVIa QUIZ 1) In which country would you find the original Legoland?r 2) What is the Spanish name for a Bullfighter? 3) What does Costa Brava mean? (White Sand, Sunny Coast, Wealthy Coast, Rugged Coast, Coast of Discos) 4) If you were reading Le Figaro with your morning breakfast, where would you be? 5) In Israel you will find shops shut during the Sabbath, when is this? 6) Near which Egyptian city would you visit the Colossi of Memnon? 7) Which city was once known as Byzantium and later as Constantinople?

8) What is the name given to a lover of all things French? 9) On which Mediterranean Island is the town of Iraklion? 10) Which is the largest of the Balearic Islands? 11) What is the name of the Dutch national airline? 12) Name the only country which has parts on the mainland of both Europe and Africa? 13) Which Irish city is served by Shannon airport? 14) On which sea is the resort of Rimini? 15) In which British seaside resort would you find a famous area called The Lanes? 16) In which European country is the Winter resort of Zermatt? 17) IS are the International car Identification letters for cars from which country? 18) Which European Capital city has a main line railway station named after a battle of 1805?

answers on page 76

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A newlywed couple move into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Darling, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Darling, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Mechanic?" Another few days go by, and it's raining very hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Darling, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Mr Roofer?" The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she said, "Mr Kipling?"

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The next time you’re having a bad day... Think yourself lucky you’re not this guy! Dear Sir. I am writing in response to your request for additional information in section three of the accident reporting form. I put ‘Poor Planning’ as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation, and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which when weighed later were found to weigh 240 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the 240 lbs of bricks. You will note on the accident reporting form that my weight is 135 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3, accident reporting form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley which I mentioned in Paragraph 2 of this correspondence. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience. Bricklayer's Accident Report At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground, and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope.

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A M a n’s W o r l d A man entered his favorite restaurant and sat at his regular table. After looking around, he noticed a gorgeous woman sitting at a nearby table all alone. He motioned the waiter over and asked him to send their most expensive bottle of Merlot over to the woman, knowing that if she accepted the bottle, she would be his. The waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, “This is from the gentleman seated over there.” indicating the sender. She regarded the wine coolly for a second, not looking at the man, and decided to send a reply note to the man. The waiter, who was lingering for a response took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman. The note read: ‘For me to accept “I’ve got what it takes to this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a miltake what you’ve got.....” lion euros in the bank, and seven inches in your pants.’ After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to return this to the woman. It read: “For your information, I have a Ferrari Maranello, a BMW Z8, a Mercedes CL600 and a Porsche Turbo in my garage. There is over twenty million euros in my bank account. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you would I cut three inches off. Just send the bottle back.” If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to

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The saNDfly & leIshmaNIasIs The sand fly season has started as the weather has finally warmed up; it is not just the time to have your tick treatment updated but also the time to get a preventative measure done for the Sand fly. A new SCALIBOR COLLAR which gives six months protection against the sand fly is very important. SANDFLY is the common name of a flying, biting, blood-sucking insect found in many countries including Spain. The sand fly is the primary vector of leishmaniasis. Female sand flies suck blood from any warm blooded animals because the blood helps to create eggs. Only female sand flies bite. Female sand flies use their mouthparts to create a pool of blood, which is then sucked up. They inject histamine to prevent blood clotting, similar to the feeding habits of a female mosquito. Females lay their eggs in moving bodies of water, such as rivers and streams – one blood meal can result in the creation of up to 100 eggs. Sand flies contrary to what their name suggests are not found on beaches!! They are usually found in forests, the cracks of stone or mud walls, or animal burrows. The sand fly predominantly bites between dusk and dawn and usually stays close to the ground. Pet owners should be advised on the need for insect bite avoidance measures particularly during the risk hours of dusk & dawn & it is not easy but if your pet sleeps outside, keeping your pet off the ground really helps – making a pet bench for a bed will help. In our opinion the best investment this month would be a SCALIBOR COLLAR available at Posh Pets from only €16.90 saving you at least €9.00 on the RRP!!!! Any queries can be answered at www.posh petsspain.com or www.poshpetsspain.com or Call: 952 597 035.

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F

or most people, a headache happens occasionally and can be quickly cured with something to eat, a short rest or a couple of painkillers. Most headaches are harmless and can be relieved with self-help measures and pharmacy painkillers. Only a few (around 5%) are a sign that something is seriously wrong. These more serious headaches are often accompanied by other warning signs. For example, a headache accompanied by a rash and a very high temperature could be meningitis. Get medical advice urgently if your headache occurs suddenly and severely, especially after a blow to the head, or if it's accompanied by a fever or feelings of drowsiness. Migraines: Migraines affect more than 15% of the UK population Migraines are much more than just a headache. The Migraine Action Association says that migraines are the most common neurological (nerve-related) condition in the developed world. They affect more than 15% of the UK population. Around two-thirds of migraines are in women. Migraines affect more people than diabetes, epilepsy and asthma combined. Attacks, which can last from 4 to 72 hours, can be completely disabling, and can prevent people from carrying out their usual activities for up to three days. Even when they don't have symptoms, people affected may live in fear of the next attack. There is no cure for migraines, but it is possible to control them with a range of treatments. However, what's successful for one person may not work for another, so it's important to keep trying different treatments until you find one that works for you. Around 10% of people who have migraines also experience aura symptoms. These are disturbances that start 15 minutes to an hour before the headache. They can include blind spots, flashing lights, zigzag patterns, tingling, pins and needles, or numbness in the limbs. Abdominal: Abdominal migraines often occur in children. They cause recurrent attacks of abdominal pain lasting for several hours. When the child reaches adolescence, this often changes to the more common migraine pattern. Hormonal: Migraines in women are often linked to hormone changes. True menstrual migraines occur within two days either before or after the first day of a monthly period and at no other time. There are other rare forms of migraine, some linked to genetic defects. Triggers: Migraines are believed to be caused by the release of a chemical called serotonin into the bloodstream, resulting in changes in the brain. Exactly what causes this to happen is still a subject for research and debate. However, certain factors that can trigger attacks in susceptible people have been identified. These include: • emotional stress, such as anger, tension or shock • physical stress, such as overexertion or travelling • diet, such as infrequent meals, alcohol (especially red wine) or additives • environmental causes, such as supermarket lights, computer screens, smoking or loud noise • hormonal causes, such as puberty, menstruation or pregnancy •high blood pressure, eye strain or the use of sleeping tablets Article supplied by medilink...... please call the clinic on 952 835 776

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reasons to crawl under a rock • I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, “How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?” • An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage insurance. He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me, and I wanted to follow as best I could, so I told my 6-year-old son to run and get me a pad. He came back and handed me a sanitary pad right in front of our guest. • I wa s t ak i n g a s h ow er wh en m y 2 y ea r o ld s on c am e in to t h e ba th r oom an d wr a p p ed h i ms e l f i n t oi le t p ap e r . A l th ou g h h e m ad e a m es s , h e lo ok ed ad or a bl e , s o I r an f or m y c am er a a n d to ok a f e w s h ot s . Th e y c a m e ou t so w e l l th a t I h a d c o p ie s m a de an d in cl u d e d on e w i th ea c h o f o u r C h r is t m a s c ar d s. D ay s la t er , a r el at i v e ca ll ed a bo u t t h e p ic t u r e, l au g h i n g h ys t er i c al l y, an d su gg e st i n g I t ak e a cl os e r l oo k . P u z z le d, I s ta r ed a t t h e p h ot o an d w as s h o ck e d t o di s c ov e r t h at in ad di t io n to m y s o n , I h ad c ap t u r e d m y r ef le ct i on i n t h e m i r r or we ar i n g n ot h i n g b u t a c am e r a!

• I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, “I think I’d like playing with men's balls.” • While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished.To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" • My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on at him constantly. One day we stopped at a very busy McDonalds. While enjoying my burger, I smelled something funny, and realising that Danny had not asked to use the potty in a while, asked him if he needed to go, “No” he said. “Are you sure you didn't have an accident?” I asked. “No” he replied. I just knew that he must have as the smell was getting worse. So I asked one more time, “Danny, did you have an accident?” This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled, “See mum, it's just farts!” While 30 people nearly choked to death on their burgers laughing,. calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

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W ant more for yyour our €’s Want Wh Whyy not buy Inland? Alozaina, orre, TTTolox olox Alozaina, Alhaurin Alhaurin De De La La TTorre, TTorre, orre, Alhaurin Alhaurin El El Grande, Grande, Coin, Coin, Guaro, Guaro, Tolox olox Wee have properties to suit all budgets, only 20 minutes from the coast W

Selling Se and pr properties with honesty, integrity and energy S rrooppeert rrrtttiieess wi w y y, yy a rrrg ggyy gy See ellllliinngg a anndd llisting lliiisstti tiinngg p pro wiiitthh h w hoonneesstty tty y,,, iin y inn nttte teeggrriitty tty anndd e enneerg en olo olox Villa - TTolox 215,000€ 2 15,000€ 2 Bedrooms Build - 83m² Plot - 3300m²

STUNNING S TUNNING VIEWS Country Country E Estate state & F Farm arm 2,000,000€ 2 ,000,000€ Main M ain House House 2 x Log Log C Cabins abin ins 2 x Guest Gue ueesst Houses Hous uses es

P POTENTIAL OTENTIAL FOR FOR RURAL RURAL TOURISM TOURISM

Villa - Monda 299,000€

4

3 Bedrooms Built - 100m² Plot - 6000m²

REDUCED Villa - Coin 425,000€

3 Bedrooms Built - 231m² Plot - 7000m²

WANTED: W ANTED: 3 & 4 Bed Properties Inland with a build size of more than 150m²

Tel. T el. + 34 661 124 387

WWW.GRAPEVINE-PROPERTIES.COM WWW.GRAPEVINE-PROPERTIES.COM info@grapevine-properties.com

ocal Info Emergency Numbers Central number for Fire, Police & Ambulance National Police Local Police Guardia Civil dica

112 091 092 062

Medical

Emergency 061 Ambulance Marbella 902 505 061 Ambulance Coin 952 453 267 Marbella 952 769 946 Coin 952 452 767 San Pedro 952 787 700

Town Halls Marbella 952 761 100 San Pedro 952 453 020 La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208 Fuengirola 952 589 300 Estepona 952 801 100

Fire Brigade Emergency number 080 Marbella 952 774 349 Estepona 952 804 483 Fuengirola 952 461 046

Markets

Consulates 952 952 952 952 952 952 952

352 475 226 604 212 226 474

300 108 373 383 442 590 891

Tourist Information Marbella Coin Estepona Fuengirola San Pedro

86 40

Bus Stations Marbella 952 764 400 Coin 952 450 366 San Pedro 952 781 396 Estepona 952 800249 For a list of complete times www.andalucia.com/travel/bus Train Timetables 902 240 202 Airports Malaga 952 048 844 Gibraltar 956 773 026

Health Centres

British Ireland Denmark Sweden Germany France U.S.A

Transport

952 771 442 952 822 818 952 822 818 952 467 457 952 785 252

Monday - Marbella (fairground site on east side) Tuesday - Fuengirola (fairground near Los Boliches) Wednesday - Estepona (Avda. Juan Carlos) La Cala - Feria ground Thursday - San Pedro (Recinto Ferial) Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama) Friday - Alhaurin el Grande (Bar Aquamania) Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano Pineda) La Cala - Feria ground. Sunday - Puerto Estepona

(Marina)

Cinemas

All the Cinemas listed below show films in English as well as Spanish. Call first to check what is showing that week. Marbella: Cinesur Plaza del Mar 952 766 941 La Cañada 902 333 231 Puerto Banus: Gran Marbella 952 810 077 Coin: La Trocha 951 315 039 Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221 622

Chemists 24 hour chemist Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz Km 194. Marbella. Tel: 952 83 25 89

Taxis Marbella Taxis 952 774 488 Mijas Costa Taxis 952 476 593

Diary Dates June 6th to the 12th: Feria de San Bernab, Marbella. June 19th (Sunday): Father’s Day (UK) June 21st: Summer Solstice. June 23rd: San Juan. All nights BBQ’s and fireworks along the coasts beaches. Walk backwards into the sea at midnight for goodluck!

if you would like to sponsor this page please call 663 061 669

EXTREMELY ECONOMICAL QUOTES RELIABLE

20 YEARS ON THE COAST ALL LARGE VILLA EXTERIOR REPAINT FROM €3500

billy rodriguez PAINTERS AND DECORATORS t GENERAL BUILDING t SMALL REFORMS t TILING t MARBLE FLOOR POLISHING billyhotrodriguez@hotmail.com t ELECTRICIAN - BOLETIN t GARDENING/ LAND/ HOUSE CLEARANCE t EXPRESS KITCHEN FITTERS

679 768 833

What’s On

Guide

Wednesday the 1st of June: Journey around the world Enjoy the taste of Tenessee at Santiago Del Calvario, Alhaurin, tel 952 499 057 Wednesday the 1st of June: Authentic Curry Club with Michael Dickinson “the Piano Man” only 12€ at Playa Miraflores – call 952 934 840 Saturday the 4th of June: JuneRock and Roll night – Playa Miraflores call 952 934 840 Friday the 10th of June: Gala dinner in aid of Help For Heroes, Black tie event at Playa Miraflores, live entertainment and auction, call 952 934 840 Sunday the 12th of June: Stan “The Man Boardman” Silks Revival 2011, food music and laughter call 952 934 840 Wednesday the 15th of June: Journey around the world Enjoy the taste of Crete - Malaysia at Santiago Del Calvario, Alhaurin, tel 952 499 057 Wednesday the 15th of June: Authentic Curry Club with Michael Dickinson “the Piano Man” - only 12€ at Playa Miraflores – call 952 934 840 Wednesday the 22nd of June: , Journey around the world Enjoy the taste of Tamil Nadu India at Santiago Del Calvario, Alhaurin, tel 952 499 057 Wednesday the 25th May: Journey around the world Enjoy the taste of Darwin Australia – Pacific Fusion at Santiago Del Calvario, Alhaurin, tel 952 499 057 Wednesday the 29th May: , Journey around the world Enjoy the taste of Darwin Australia – Pacific Fusion at Santiago Del Calvario, Alhaurin, tel 952 499 057 Every Wednesday: Karaoke with Bazoo at Peppers, El Zoco, Calahonda. Every Wednesday: at The Restaurant, Dona Lola, Mijas Costa is Wednesday Special – slow roasted baby leg of lamb with mint and cranberry gravy for 15€ call 952 934 299 Every Thursday: Steak night at Playa Miraflores – call 952 934 840 Every Friday: Karaoke with Bazoo at Peppers, El Zoco, Calahonda. Ever Friday: Sunday , Carvery 2pm to 6pm with Nigel’s retro Dessert table at Playa Miraflores and Phoebe or Chas Burnett Live alternate weeks– call 952 934 840 for more information. Every Sunday: BBQ Sunday at Splash Club call 699 225 126 Every Sunday: Sunday Roast at Peppers, all home cooked food freshly prepared by Big Dave. Bookings advised 952 931 593 or 627 188 778. Every Sunday: Traditional Sunday lunch at Santiago del Calvario, Alhaurin, Roast beef, Lamb Pork, or chicken with fish and Vegetarian options available.

BAR & RESTAURANT

Guide..... Bikini Martini! Ingredients

•3 Shots Bombay Sapphire gin •Squeeze of fresh lime juice •2 tbsp Blue Curacoa •1 tbsp peach schnapps •1 tsp icing sugar •lemon zest to garnish

Method

Fill a martini glass with ice and water to chill it. Half-fill a martini shaker with ice and add the gin, lime juice, Curacao, schnapps and sugar. Shake well for at least 30 seconds. Pour out ice and water from martini glass, and poor in the mixture through a strainer. Garnish with lemon zest. 46

Jardin Botanico, Local 16, La Cala de Mijas.

Tel: 952 599 236. Mob: 685 578 743

La Mirage Mirage Restaurant Rest estaur aurant aur ant & Spikes Bar

Lunch or Dine in style in our fabulous Restaurant overlooking the Golf Course excellent choice of menus and wines. Open every day of the year. Live entertainment on Friday / Saturday evenings or

SPECIAL LUNCHTIME MENU 12PM - 4PM STARTERS ONLY â‚Ź6.90

Spring Roll, Special Salad, Chicken and Sweetcorn/Tomato/Hot and Sour Soup or Spare Ribs.

MAIN COURSE

Beef with Blackbean/Oyster/Chinese Mushroom and Bamboo/Curry or Chicken with Cashew Nuts/Sweet and Sour/Curry or Prawns with Vegetables or Sweet and Sour Fish (Hake)

RICE AND NOODLES

Relax on the sunny terrace of Spikes Bar. Breakfasts, snacks & daily specials available from 08:00 till late every day (from 09:00 on Sunday)

Special House Fried Rice, Boiled Rice or Noodles with Soya Bean Sprouts or Chips

Miraflores Miraflor Mir aflores aflor es Golf Golf Club Cl Cluub

Coffee, Tea, Ice Cream, Cream Caramel or Fruit Main restaurant serving usual delicacies 6pm - 12pm

Tel Tel (+34) 952 931 941

HONG KONG

Urbanizacion Riviera Del Sol, Mijas Costa, 29647 Malaga

Email: reservations@mirafloresgolfrestaurant.com W Website: ebsite: www www.miraflores-golf.com .miraflores-golf.com

DESSERTS

CHINESE RESTAURANT

Take Away

952 930 717 Tuesday To Sunday 10am to 10pm Please Order 1 Hour Before For Our Best Service

Find Us Behind OPEN COR Riviera Edif. El Saladito 2, BC 3, Urb.Riviera del Sol, 29649 Mijas Costa

Mama Nostra

Golden Sun

Traditional Italian food & grill. Fresh pasta, wood burning pizza oven, Open every day 12 - 11. Riviera Commercial, Tel: 952 934 496

Traditional Chinese Food. Takeaway menu. Special lunch menu only â‚Ź6.95. Open 12.00-16.00 and 18.30-24.00 everyday. Riviera Commercial. Tel: 952 931 737

Advertise Your Bar or Restaurant HERE Call: 663 061 669

Harrys Sports Bar

All live sports and premiere league football. Six TV’s and big screen. Full menu, Sunday roast and homemade tapas. Large sun terrace. Open 10amlate, seven days a week. Upstairs Los Jarales, Calahonda

This page is printed upside down intentionally

The Restaurant at Doña Lola ~ Mijas Costa See your Meal Prepared in our Open Kitchen Dine Inside or Alfresco on one of our Two Terraces Complementary Liqueur, Coffee after Every Meal Open Tuesday - Sunday Wednesday Night Special: Slow Roasted Baby Leg of Lamb with Mint & Cranberry Gravy 15€

Reservations: 95 293 4299 Email: therestaurant@msn.com

Jasmine J asmine

Indian Indian Restaurant Rest sta aurant

Fantastic F ant antas astic Indian Cuisine Lovely Lovel ely y Surroundings Surroundings Friendly Friendly C Courteous ourteous Service Service Take Take Away Away & Home delivery Aw delivery Service Service A MARBELLA MARBELLA

C/.Califa, C/.Califa, n.º n.º 6 Portal Portal C C,, Edificio Edificio Las Las Lolas Lolas 2 29660 9660 Nueva Nueva A Andalucia ndalucia

N340

Bull Ring R ing

Jasmine J Ja asmine

IIndian ndian Restaurant Rest sta aurant

A ESTEPONA

PUERTO PUER TO BANUS

9 952 52 8 81 15 51 18 82 2

Centro Centro Plaza Plaza

RESTAURANTReview..... The Oak, Benalmara We knew that The Oak had recently opened only a few meters from where we live in Benalmara, and had heard that they say that they offer a Michelin style experience at an everyday price, so why not we thought! We arrived to what seemed to be a homely and welcoming atmosphere and were shown to the comfortable lounge area where we sat and contemplated the menu. Once we had ordered and had a pre dinner drink, we transferred to our table. I started with the 3 types of salmon, which was an amazing contrast of differently prepared salmon. My main course was Roast Pork Belly with perfectly cooked Crackling. My husband started with the Chicken Pate and Brioche which was lovely and very rich, he followed with fillet of lamb served with a celeriac mash which was absolutely gorgeous - the lamb was so light and full of flavour. We both finished with the amazing cheesecake which is prepared freshly each day. Their Michelin claims are no exaggeration; the atmosphere, the food and the attention to detail were really high – unlike the price! We have already arranged to go back and The Oak is now our new favourite restaurant – we would suggest that you visit it even if you live miles away – it’s well worth it!

Clare & Andy - Benalmara

Thapa Thapa Thai Thai Restaurante Restau Restaurante rante

Dine D i n e inside i n s i d e in i n llovely o ve ly surroundings s u rrou n di n g s or All Fresco o r eeat at A Fre s co Fr Port Vi e w s over o ve r tthe h e Po P o rtrt T Views and Mediterranean a n d the the M edit e rra n ea n Fa nt a st ic Thai T h a i & Chinese Th C hi n e s e Cuisine Cu isi n e T Fantastic

T

2 Hours Free Parking Opening Ope n i n g Hours Hou rs 12:30 12:: 30 - 16:30 12 16: 30 18:30 18:: 30 - 24:00 18 24: 00

Reservations:

951 318 445 Puerto de Portivo, Number 13, Estepona

Strange but true... W he n y our ti m e s up i t’ s U P con ti nue d … . . • Depressed since he couldn't find a job, 42-year-old Romolo Ribolla sat in his kitchen near Pisa, Italy with a gun in his hand, threatening to kill himself in 1981. His wife pleaded for him not to do it, and after about an hour, he burst into tears and threw the gun to the floor. It went off and killed his wife. • Hitting on the novel idea that he could end his wife's incessant nagging by giving her a good scare, Hungarian Jake Fen built an elaborate harness to make it look as if he had hanged himself. When his wife came home and saw him, she fainted. Hearing a disturbance, a neighbor came over and, finding what she thought were two corpses, seized the opportunity to loot the place. As she was leaving the room, her arms laden, the outraged and suspended Mr. Fen kicked her stoutly in the backside. This suprised the lady so much that she dropped dead of a heart attack. Happily, Mr. Fen was acquitted of manslaughter, and he and his wife were reconciled. • An Indian man was killed when his cell phone exploded in his face. Gopal Gujjar, 23, was found dead on 17 August with burns to his left ear, neck and shoulders, near a farm in Bandha village close to the city of Kota in Rajasthan. He had apparently gone to the forest to graze cattle about noon and was believed to be talking on the phone when it exploded. Pieces of the Nokia 1209 handset, a basic model released in August 2008, were scattered nearby.

FUJITSU / GENERAL AIRCONDITIONING FULLY INSTALLED

SPLITS FROM 550€ DUCTED FROM 2000€

Solar Water Heating Fully Installed From 1,000 euro

3 YEARS GUARANTEE

Servicing and repairs all makes & models. Service contracts.

TEL: 666 087 496

58

EMAIL: econocool@hotmail.es

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Contact Contact R Rebecca: ebecca:

Email inf info@sole-sensation.com o@sole-sensation.com

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clmŠ2011 clmŠ2011

DRAIN & LEAK SOLUTIONS S.L.

High Pressure water jetting Drain tracing, C.C.T.V. Septic tank problems and installations Bath, sinks and toilets unblocked Leak detection and repairs Fully Qualified, Fully Legal, No Call Out Fee.

Tel: 951 310 111

Mobile: 651 111 005

www.drainandleak.com

CLMŠ2008

DID You Know.....

I ditYeah... c Jap hed yo SUCKanese u ERS!

• Neil Armstrong stepped on the moon with his left foot first. • The Eiffel Tower has 2,500,000 rivets in it. • "Jaws" is the most common name for a goldfish. • On an average work day, a typist's fingers travel 12.6 miles. • Ten tons of space dust falls on the Earth every day. • On average, a 4-year-old child asks 437 questions a day. • Blue and white are the most common school colors. • In a normal lifetime an American will eat 200 pounds of peanuts and 10,000 pounds of meat. • The worlds best selling ice cream flavor is vanilla. • Every year the sun loses 360 million tons. • The Gulf Stream could carry a message in a bottle at an average of 4 miles per hour. • The bulls-eye on a dartboard must be 5 feet 8 inches off the ground. • The doorbell was invented in 1831. • The electric shaver was patented on November 6, 1928. • Japan is the largest exporter of frog's legs. • There are seven points on the Statue of Liberty's crown. • Napoleon was terrified of cats. • The oldest known vegetable is the pea. • Jack is the most common name in nursery rhymes. • The avocado has the most calories of any fruit. • France has the highest per capita consumption of cheese. • Minus 40 degrees Celsius is exactly the same as minus 40 degrees Fahrenheit • The snake can see through its transparent eye lids when they are closed • A notch in a tree will remain the same distance from the ground as the tree grows • Europeans in the Middle Ages used to call coffee the "Arabic Wine" • Honeybees have hair on their eyes • The shortest English word that contains the letters A, B, C, D, E, and F is "feedback." • The stupidest domesticated animal is the turkey. • Russia has the most movie theaters in the world. • The most fatal car accidents occur on Saturday. • The Eiffel Tower has 1792 steps. • Dry fish food can make goldfish constipated. • The cubicle closest to the door in a bathroom is the cleanest, because it is the least used

60

NEW SHOWROOM IN LAS CHAPAS OPENING SOON

FOR SALE Popular Bar Mijas Costa 65,000â‚Ź ono 662 066 277

SKY S SHOP SH OP s spain.com pain.com

CCONTRACT ONTRACT CCARDS ARDS DISHES DIGIBO DIGIBOXES XES REMO TES REMOTES TT.V. .V. REPAIR REPAIR SSATELLITE ATELLITE INSTALLATION INSTALLATION All with 12 months guar guarantee antee We We deliv deliver er and install in all ar areas eas

Patio doors secured, Safes opened and fitted, Locks upgraded, Changed key holding. Fully registered. Credit cards now taken. Call Bob and Debbie on:

952 660 233 - 667 668 685

check out our prices Call us to check Monday-Friday Monday-Friday 10am - 6pm Saturday Saturday 10am - 2pm

952 541 147

sk skyshopspain@hotmail.com yshopspain@hotmail.com

Puzzle It Out

Solutions on page 76

Crossword Across: 6. Source of sudden wealth (7) 7. Governs (5) 9. Start over (4) 10. Warranted (10) 11. Physiologically dependent (8) 13. Accumulate (6) 15. Gull-like bird (4) 17. A type of dog (5) 18. Otherwise (4) 19. It displays dinosaurs or paintings (6) 20. Porcupine (8) 23. A board mounted on wheels (10) 26. Whip (4) 27. Receded (5) 28. The sport of shooting arrows with a bow (7) Down: 1. Make drunk (10) 2. He fought in armor (6) 3. Indian music (4) 4. Planned in advance (8) 5. Dart (4) 6. You need this for a sandwich (5) 8. Long pins used to hold meat (7) 12. Bread (5) 14. From that time on (10) 16. A joint of a finger (7) 17. A stay-at-home (8) 21. Subtract (6) 22. Female internal reproductive organ (5) 24. Large brass instrument (4) 25. A Freudian stage (4)

Sudoku

Brain Teaser You are standing outside a closed door. On the other side of the door is a room that has three light bulbs in it. The room is completely sealed off from the outside. It has no windows and nothing can get in or out except through the door. On the outside of the room there are three light switches that control each of the respective light bulbs on the other side of the door. Your assignment is to determine which light switch controls which light bulb. You are allowed to enter the room only once, and once you come out, you must be able to state with 100% certainty which light switch controls which light bulb.

Say What You See...

LAL 62

big big ignore

ignore

teleweb internet & telephone just got better! tion for someone who lives here full time. Do you have a wireless internet system that you are not happy with? Teleweb will convert you over to their service at no cost. What have you got to lose?

HAVE A UK No IN SPAIN!

teleweb – “Pay as you go” internet Teleweb Internet & Telephone, has been providing wireless internet services since 2003, and in that time, has seen consistent growth and added new exciting services to its well established high speed 5GHz wireless internet service. FLEXIBILITY: Because you do not need a land line, you can have internet on a “Pay as you go” system. There are flexible solutions ranging from 1 hour to a permanent connec-

Teleweb offers a telephone system (without the need for a landline) with calls from 1.8c per minute. It is just like a Telefonica landline without the wires. No need to have your computer on to make and receive calls. Choose a telephone number from your home country or just elect to have a Malaga number. This system will work anywhere in the world with the same low call costs, you just need an internet connection. For more information on any of the above, please call Teleweb on 952 833 300 or Email: info@teleweb-marbella.

NEWS From Our Advertisers... WELL HERE WE ARE, AFTER LIVING ON THE COAST FOR NEARLY FOUR YEARS, WE DECIDED THAT WHAT WAS NEEDED WAS A GOOD SECOND-HAND FURNITURE SHOP THAT SOLD AT REASONABLE PRICES. OUR AIM IS TO DO A FAST TURN AROUND OF FURNITURE, BENEFITTTING BOTH THE SELLER AND THE BUYER IN THESE HARD HIT TIMES OF RECESSION. WE BUY THE FURNITURE AND ACCESSORIES FOR CASH AND CAN MOVE VERY QUICKLY WITH GETTING THE UNWANTED ITEMS REMOVED. WE ALSO HAVE A NOTICE BOARD ADVERTISING ITEMS FROM PRIVATE SELLERS WHICH ARE NOT IN THE SHOP, BUT PHOTOGRAPHS ARE PROVIDED AND CONTACT DETAILS ARE PASSED ON. iF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN THIS SERVICE, THEN PLEASE DO GET IN TOUCH. OUR BUSINESS IS VERY NEW AND HAS ONLY BEEN OPEN A FEW WEEKS, BUT THE RESPONSE HAS BEEN VERY ENCOURAGING AND POSITIVE. SO WE FEEL THAT WE ARE DEFINITELY ON THE RIGHT TRACK. PLEASE DO COME DOWN AND SEE US IN MARBELLA (NEXT TO THE GUADALPIN HOTEL) TO LOOK AT OUR GOODS ON WHICH ALL PRICES ARE NEGOTIABLE, AND WE LOVE A GOOD BARTER! See page 24 for our ad.....

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ONE WAY WAY

UK to Spain or Spain to UK

/2&$/ 1$7,21$/ /2&$/ 1$7,21$/ (8523($1 (8523($1 &2//(&7,21 $1' '(/,9(5< &2//(&7,21 $1' '(/,9(5< 6725$*( 6725$*(

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PARKER SOL PROPERTIES & COSTALETS Tel: 952 56 39 39 / 636 829 631 www.costalet.com C.I.F: B-92171388

New Address: Minerva Complex (inside, at its back), 29630 Benalmádena Costa IF YOU WISH TO BUY, SELL OR RENT LONG TERM FROM TORREMOLINOS TO ELVIRIA, CALL US NOW.

AREA SALES: CALL STEVE - 636 829 631 110,000€, REAL BARGAIN

Beautiful at 139,000€

ONLY 115,000!!!

MIRAFLORES 2 BED APT

RIVIERA DEL SOL PENTHOUSE

UPPER RIVIERA, GROUND FLOOR

MODERN 2 BED/1 BATH 1/2 PRIVATE PARKING AND STOREROOM COMMUNAL POOL & GARDEN CLOSE TO MIRAFLORES GOLF

2 BED/2BATH, AMAZING VIEWS LARGE ROOF TOP TERRACE & BBQ PRIVATE PARKING & STORAGE NR BEACH, SHOPS & RESTAURANCTS

PRESENTED TO THE VERY HIGHEST STANDARD OPEN ASPECT AND GOOD VIEWS CLOSE TO ALL FACILITIES BEAUTIFUL LANDSCAPED GARDENS & POOL

Reduced to

265,000€!!!

125,000€

Great Price!

Priced for quick sale at 185,000€!

RIVIERA, SEMIDETACHED

BENALMADENA RIVIERA, 2 BEDCOSTA APT

RIVIERA, 3 BED/2BATH

STUNNING 3 BED/2 BATH & TOILET AMAZING VIEWS, VERY LARGE 3 TERRACES & PRIVATE GARDEN BUILT BY WELL KNOWN DEVELOPER TO A HIGH STANDARD

GLAZED IN TERRACE WITH STUNNING VIEWS, WELL KNOWN COMPLEX WITH BEAUTIFUL GARDEN, POOL & BBQ, WALKING DISTANCE TO SHOPS, RESTAURANTS, BEACH & GOLF

BEAUTIFUL, VERY LARGE TERRACE WELL KNOWN & STRONG COMMUNITY. 1 OF THE BEST AREAS: CLOSE TO SHOPS, RESTAURANTS & BEACH PARKING, STOREROOMCOMMUNAL GARDEN & POOL

MANY OTHERS PROPERTIES AVAILABLE. CALL FOR DETAILS.

RENTALS MIJAS AREA - Call Steve: 636 829 631 RENTALS BENALMADENA AREA - Call Elie: 634 820 748 MIRAFLORES, 3 BED/2 BATH UNFURNISHED 650€ PM BENALMADENA COSTA, BEAUTIFUL STUDIO 350€ PM MIRAFLORES, 2 BED/2 BATH UNFURNISHED 600€ PM BENALMADENA COSTA, 2 BED APTS. FROM 500€ PM RIVIERA, 2 BED/2 BATH FURNISHED 550€ PM TORREMOLINOS, BEAUTIFUL 3 BED/2 BATH APT 500€ PM

MANY OTHERS AVAILABLE

FINANCIAL

Economic & Currency News... PROPERTY

Spain’s housing market bubble has been deflating for quite a while and construction investment – the main driver of the Spanish success story over the decade prior to the crisis – has now contracted sharply. However, with a smaller correction in prices relative to the other European housing market hotspots, the adjustment process is likely to stretch well into next year. Despite a remarkable housing bubble, Spanish house prices have declined by about 15% from their peak in the first quarter of 2008. This compares with a peak-to-trough fall of around 25% in the UK, 33% in the US and 50% in Ireland. The first leg of the adjustment in the Spanish housing market had to do mainly with the volumes transacted rather than the prices of the transactions: sellers did not want to sell because they could not get an attractive price, thus triggering a fall in home sales. But even if the first leg of the adjustment had to do mainly with a collapse in the volume of transactions – which only recently seem to have found a plateau at a very depressed level – this does not mean that a further drop in prices will not follow. Other indicators (asking prices, prices of second-hand properties, etc.) suggest that the ‘true’ market price may have fallen to a greater extent, as transactions have been few, banks have been taking over property rather than selling it and the official index is based on assessments by private appraisal companies (which may be overestimated). The slide in house prices, along with the prospect of further declines, has already triggered a significant downward correction in construction investment, which has declined by 43% from its peak in 4Q 2007 and – at 12.5% of GDP – is now slightly below its long-term average of 13.3%. The equivalent figure for the euro area is 10.9%, which is somewhat lower than its long-term average of 11.5%. Similarly, the construction sector’s share of employment is now below the historical norm in both Spain and the euro area as a whole. This means that the construction investment – not house price – bubble has corrected almost in full. The past five years witnessed the construction of more than 2.5 million new homes, but sales were far less dynamic, at just over 1.5 million. This means that about 40% of the newly built homes remain unoccupied. If new home sales stayed at the current level – and assuming that homebuilding stopped altogether – analysts estimate that it would take at least another two years to clear the existing oversupply of homes. The upshot is that analysts doubt that activity in the housing market will pick up meaningfully – even if economic growth is now back in positive territory. House prices might not continue to fall at the same pace, as the recent trend seems to suggest, analysts believe that there are reasons to expect further declines, to between 5% and 10% this year alone.

Written by our financial expert James Alexander. If you would like fully regulated independent financial advice please contact us – sales@costalinkmagazine.com or on 663 061 669.

66

Senna

the movie >The release of “Senna� this month has made us think about some of the cars driven by the man who is considered by many as The Greatest Racing Driver Ever. >Ayrton Senna made his debut in Formula 1 in the Toleman TG183B . It was distinctive in that it had twin rear wings and front wing mounted radiators. Unfortunately the front wing configuration caused the front of the car to move about at high speed and was eventually replaced by a more conventional front wing set up. >Senna's first Grand Prix victory was a brilliant performance in the 1985 Portuguese Grand Prix where he won by over a minute in monsoon conditions. The Lotus 97T was powered by a 1500cc Renault turbocharged engine. Sponsorship came from John Player Special and French oil company Elf. >At the end of 1986, Lotus signed a deal with Honda for use of their hugely powerful turbocharged 1500cc engine. John Player Special were replaced by Camel as title sponsor. The Lotus 99T proved to be competitive at the hands of Senna, who won twice and scored six other podium finishes during the season. This helped him to third in the drivers' championship before moving to McLaren for 1988. >1988 was due to be the last year for the turbo engines before they were banned, so most teams were making a concerted effort to establish themselves with naturallyaspirated cars. McLaren went ahead with the design of the car on a purely turbo engined basis, which put the team at a distinct advantage over their rivals. Senna took 8 wins in this year and won his first World Championship. >The Williams FW16 would be known as the car Ayrton Senna was fatally injured in whilst in the lead of the San Marino Grand Prix. It was designed by Adrian Newey with the major regulation changes that the FIA had introduced in the off-season, banning the electronic devices that had been used by the front running cars during the preceding two seasons. The number 0 car was driven by Damon Hill for the entire season. The number 2 car was driven by Ayrton Senna, David Coulthard and Nigel Mansell.

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Golf Tips And Tricks The Gateway To A Lower Score What is it makes the average golfer miss so many putts to the level that he is surprised when one drops, yet the low handicap player is confident, gets results and is only surprised when he misses. When I talk to a lot of the players I coach they feel they are unable to pick the line of the putt, so I will spend time with them coaching the routine for selecting the line for the putt and telling them what they need to look for to get the right line to the hole. What has become obvious to me as I coach is that most golfers are perfectly capable of picking the line what they cant do is putt the golf ball along it. The process for a successful putt is to select the line, practice the swing to get the weight of the putt right then set your putter square to the line, your body into the correct position, finally playing the putt sending the ball along the line you have selected. Sending the ball along the line is where many players have trouble and the Gateway Drill used in practice is a great way to get rid of the problem and also a way to test yourself to see if you have the problem when you putt. 1. Select the hole on the putting green and pick the line. 2. Mark the spot you are putting from with a ball marker 3. Take two balls from your golf bag and at a putters length from the spot marked place one ball either side of your selected line about 15cm apart. 4. Set up to your ball and putt if you

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putt along the line your ball will go through the gateway with no problem towards the hole. By Mark Sibley

Used clubs available or sold for you at The Miraflores Golf Academy

Tel:-Email:952939937 info@ golfprofessionalservicesspain.com

MARK SIBLEY PGA GOLF PROFESSIONAL

UK QUALIFIED 15 YEARS OF COACHING EXPERIENCE LESSONS FOR ALL LEVELS OF GOLFER BEGINNER TO PLAYING PROFESSIONAL LESSON PACKAGES AVAILABLE NOW BASED AT THE MIRAFLORES GOLF ACADEMY NOW WITH FULLY STOCKED PROFESSIONAL SHOP MIRAFLORES DRIVING RANGE & GOLF ACADEMY. S/N RIVIERA DEL SOL, 29649 MIJAS COSTA. TEL: 952 933 729 OR 678 833 736

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These handsome fellows are Snickers and Saxon. They are two young cross-breed brothers. Both are male and have a lovely temperament.

FOUNDATION FOR ABANDONED AND MISTREATED ANIMALS F.A.M.A is a foundation set up and funded solely by voluntary contributions to provided an acceptable standard of life to the abandoned animals whilst in its care. For more information, please visit our website: www.f-a-m-a.net or contact Pat Colman on 620 354 885

Puzzle It Out Solutions FromPages 16 & 62 Crossword Solution

Just Say What You See All mixed up Too big to ignore

Brain Teaser Turn one light switch on, wait a few minutes, then turn it off and turn another light switch on. Go into the room and feel the light bulbs. The one that's still warm is connected to the switch that you first turned on, the one that is on was the second switch you turned on, and the last bulb is controlled by the switch that you didn't touch..

Trivia Quiz Answers 1. Denmark 2. Matador 3. Rugged Coast 4. France 5. From sunset on Friday to sunset on Saturday 6. Luxor 7. Istanbul 8. Francophile 9. Crete 10. Majorca or Mallorca 11. KLM 12. Spain 13. Limerick 14. Adriatic 15. Brighton 16. Switzerland 17. Iceland 18. Paris

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The Jokes page

Jokes page

“Don’t laugh!” Said the patient. “Of course I won’t laugh.” The doctor said. “I’m a professional. In over twenty years I’ve never laughed at a patient.” “Okay then.” The patient said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest ‘whooha’ the doctor had ever seen. It couldn’t have been bigger than the size of a AAA battery. Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, then fell laughing to the floor. Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure. “I’m so sorry,” said the doctor, “I really am. I don’t know what came over me. On my honour as a doctor and a gentlemen, I promise it won’t happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?” The patient replied. “It’s swollen...” A maid goes to her employer and asks for a pay increase. Her boss wasn’t very impressed with this and asked the maid: “Maria, times are tough. I have to make do on the allowance my husband gives me. I'm not getting a raise. Tell me three reasons why you deserve one.” Maria says, “Well Senora, the first is that I iron better than you.” “How do you know you iron better than me?” questioned the wife. “Your husband said so” the maid responded. “I see” said the wife. “The second reason is that I am a better cook than you” said the maid. “Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?” the wife questioned. “Your husband did” replied the maid. “I see” said the wife. “My third reason is that I am a better lover than you” said the maid smugly. “Did my husband say that as well!?” the wife asked outraged. “No Senora, the gardener did” She got the raise.

s eve r e p a in he w as i n, t he do ct o r p r es c r ib ed c on ti nuo us i nt r av eno us fee di ng w i th s al in e, el ec t r ol yt e s, a s eda t iv e, an d a V i ag r a p il l ev er y fou r ho urs . T he nur s e, w ho wa s r at he r as t ou nde d, a sk ed “ Wha t g oo d wi l l Vi a gr a d o for him d oc t or ?” T he do ct o r r ep l i ed, “ It wo n't do an yt hi ng for hi s c ond i ti on b ut it ' ll k ee p t he s heet off hi s l eg s .”

Going to check on her baby one night, a wife found her husband standing over their baby’s cot. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, scepticism. Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband. “A penny for your thoughts.” she said. “It’s amazing!” he replied. “I just can’t see how Ikea can make a cot like that for only €46.50.” and you moan about your job!?!?!

A g uy fel l as l ee p at the b ea ch for s ever a l ho ur s an d go t a ho r r ib le s unb ur n, s p ec i fic a ll y t o hi s u pp e r l eg s . He we nt t o t he hos p i ta l an d wa s p r om p tl y a dmi t t ed af te r b ei ng d ia gn os ed w i th s ec o nd- d eg r ee b ur ns . Wi th hi s s ki n a lr e ad y st a r ti ng t o bl i s te r , a nd t he

78

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S TA R S I GN S

A look at what's in store for you during June.....

Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

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A busy month for work is in store, Capricorn, but your social life is not suffering. New and exciting energy is brought to your domestic life this month. There may be a scurry of activity in your home and with your family in June, or opportunities to move or expand that seem to come out of the blue. Gifts, bonuses, or good news on the financial front are likely. The last week of the month brings some changes and perhaps drama to a close personal relationship or with friends. A feel-good month is in your forecast, Aquarius. You are feeling especially enthusiastic, creative, and generous. A new friend may be part of the picture. New insights and developments in learning areas, studies, with siblings, or in activity surrounding the communications industry can be had in June. Inspiration can be found now, and it's likely to come through your conversations or communications with others. Wonderful energy for love relationships is with you this month. Changes on the work front may be necessary in the last week of June. Excitement is likely to revolve around finances and possessions for you this month, dear Pisces. There might be a sudden change in financial position, even a windfall or significant gift, a sudden urge to spend or invest money, a new money-making idea or project that seems to come out of nowhere, or new insights into money, money-making ability, or self-worth. Money might be seen now for its value as a tool used to achieve more freedom in your life. Home and family life is busy, and love relationships especially stimulating.

Aries

Your love life is certainly exciting this month, Aries, and you're feeling especially amorous and affectionate, you are ready to go out on a limb for love. Your confidence is running high in generally, and the desire to break free from restricting or limiting circumstances are strong. Work picks up pace, and there maybe some struggles between the demands of family and home and those of your career and professional responsibilities. It's an exceptionally busy month for you, and you will be doing a balancing act as a result.

Taurus

Your romantic life picks up pace this month, Taurus, although it's not without its fair share of drama. Some adjustments and changes are necessary in order to bring harmony back to this area of your life. June is a good money month for you. It's excellent for financial planning, and also for a partner's finances, but the impulse to gamble or splurge might also be strong, this probably should be resisted. Your dreaming world is vivid and intuition exceptionally active. Listen to your inner voice! Career opportunities may come about suddenly.

Gemini

Socially, June brings excitement and opportunity, Gemini. Meeting new people, sudden new friendships, and, for some of you, partnership opportunities are themes this month. Experimentation is especially important to you, as you are feeling adventurous and courageous. The unknown or unexplored is alluring, and you might make some plans to travel. You have a lot on your mind and are itching to share it. Others will find you especially witty and interesting. Some worries over money are possible, and adjustments and changes are necessary in order to alleviate this stress.

Cancer

Leo

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio

Sagittarius

Finances are strong for you this month, Cancer, and many of you will be enjoying gifts and bonuses. The first three weeks of the month find you behaving more introspectively than usual. Many of you are putting a lot of energy into studies and projects. Sudden or unexpected career opportunities are likely in June—you are approaching a professional peak of sorts. Some of you will be discovering your "true calling" this summer. The need to make changes in your love life becomes clearer as the month draws to a close. Love is exciting and perhaps a little exotic for you this month, Leo. Certainly, you are experiencing inner stirrings that should prompt exploration on a romantic level, whether that means spicing up an existing relationship, taking it to a whole new level, or meeting a romantic partner for the single Leo out there. Some changes on the work front and in your domestic life seem necessary now. You may be dealing with some power struggles that now come to a head. From mid-month, your personal magnetism is especially strong. Work matters are in the forefront for you in June, Virgo. You're especially busy and often turned to for advice and requests. You face any problem with energy, confidence, and courage, but can be a little impatient if things aren't moving fast enough. Sudden developments in the financial or emotional support you receive are likely now, and they seem promising. A partner might enjoy good news on the financial front. Some of you are realising a long-term goal of working from home. A love relationship requires some attention and adjustment this month. Sudden opportunities with or through a partner arise this month, Libra. A surprising circumstance or sudden change of attitude can occur and jolt you out of your usual routine when it comes to relationships. Some of you might enter into a new partnership quickly, or meet a special someone with whom you have strong intellectual or communicative ties, and the desire to take it to the next level is strong. Domestic matters require special attention in the last week of June. Finding a balance between your professional and personal lives will be essential. Opportunities and new insights come in the areas of work and health this month, Scorpio. Some of you will become especially excited and hopeful about a new health and wellness program and this lifts your spirits to new heights, giving you a sense of having a new lease on life. Improvements or other opportunities at or through work can come out of the blue, boosting your confidence and improving your attitude towards your work. The temptation to break out of monotony or other lifeless aspects of a job is strong. Finances look promising. An exciting and uplifting month is in store for you, Sagittarius. Your creative juices are flowing and you are feeling especially demonstrative, confident, and adventurous. Romance and partnership are strong, and your personal magnetism gets a pleasing boost. Taking creative or romantic chances throughout the month will be likely. Many of you will be focusing on learning, improving your skills set, and possibly writing or speaking in new and more creative ways this month. In the last week of June, financial changes or worries are likely, however, and need special attention.

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