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March 2016 N°108
No1
MARBELLA
AUTOMOTIVE•ELECTRONIC•DIAGNOSTIC
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Business Directory
Puzzles & Quizzes What’s On Guide
Horoscopes Local Info
Kids Page Jokes
Computer Problems? we can help....
costadelhome.com intelligent property search
Page 40 page 42
Glass Curtains costadelhome.com intelligent property search
page 44
Happy Easter!!!
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IRONWORKS High quality metal at factory prices Established since 1989
Protect Your Home Windows Door Rejas
Protect Your Family Patio Rejas Drive Gates Etc.
FACTORY DIRECT ANY COLOUR - ANY DESIGN URBANISATION THEMES IF YOU CAN GET LIKE FOR CHEAPER WE WILL REFUND THE DIFFERENCE
‘The most respected British steelwork company in Spain’ BECAUSE WHEN IT COMES TO HOME SECURITY “IRONWORKS”
VISIT OUR WEBSITE FOR PRICES & MORE EXTENSIVE CATALOGUE
WWW.IRONWORKSINSPAIN.COM ironworksinspain@yahoo.co.uk
TELEPHONE
678 691 393
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Ed’s Note..
Well it’s been the coldest winter for some years here on the Costa del Sol, we’ve had earthquakes, torrential storms and really high winds not to mention rain and then more rain…. My wellies have been dusted off and put by the front door! Fingers crossed for better weather this month. March is a busy one for diary dates it’s Mothers Day (UK) on the 6th of March, St Patrick’s Day on the 17th lots of bar’s and pub’s have celebrations up and down the Coast. Then Easter weekend starts here in Spain on the 24th (Thursday), also the clocks go forward on the 27th meaning spring is coming and thank goodness an end to the dark mornings. We have lots of new stuff in the magazine this month a great new feature from White Design Company in La Cala on pages 18 & 19. If you would like to advertise please give us a call on 951 254 222 or 663 061 669 to discuss what we can do for you – lots of our advertisers stay with us year after year meaning that there advert must be working, let us get your business noticed on the Costa del Sol! Happy Easter, and have a great month...
in the March Magazine...
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A Man’s World: An unwanted change also the wonders of the modern age…
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Medical Section... The A-Z of medical healthcare on the Costa del Sol. If you need any advise on any medical matter look here...
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All revved up - Upside down and not to mention not even a car, things are not quite what they seem this month…
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What’s On Guide.... Loads of stuff going on this month on the Costa del Sol, why not get involved on page 66.
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Email: sales@costalinkmagazine.com Website: www.costalinkmagazine.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/costa.link.spain Whatsapp: 663 061 669 or Tweet: @costa_link
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Business Directory... Can’t find that all-important contact information see page 80.
Solutions on page 84 Puzzle It Out... Puzzles galore challenge those little grey cells.
HOW TO CONTACT US Call: 951 254 222 or 663 061 669
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Double the trouble this month with the crew from Zootopia.
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Like Us
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Solutions on page 84 Pit your brains against the TRIVIA QUIZ, questions for all ages from 6 -116!
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The Jokes Page: Laugh out loud or get some giggles on page 76!!!
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Women’s World... Life is full of surprises… Even how man was made who’d have thought it!
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No part of this publication, including layout, graphic design or pictures may be copied, SCANNED, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. Costa Link Magazine accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors. All rights reserved © 2015.
to advertise in costa link magazine please call 951 254 222 or 663 061 669
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A Woman’s World
WOULD YOU ADAM & EVE IT?
In the beginning..
God created Eve, and she had three breasts. After a month in the garden, God comes to visit Eve. ‘How’re things, Eve?’ he asks. ‘It is all so beautiful,’ she replies. ‘Everything is wonderful, but I just have this one problem. It’s these three breasts. The middle one pushes the other two out, and I’m constantly knocking them with my arms. They’re a real pain.’ ‘That’s a fair point,’ replies God, ‘I’ll fix that right away!’ So, God reaches down and removes the middle breast, tossing it into the bushes. Another month passes, and God once again visits Eve in the garden. ‘Well, Eve, how’s my favourite creation?’ he asks. ‘Just fantastic,’ she replies, ‘but for one small oversight on your part. All the animals have a mate, except me.’ God thinks for a moment. ‘You know, Eve, you’re right! You do need a mate and I will immediately create Man from a part of you! Now, let’s see…Where did I put that useless tit?’
JUST A THOUGHT... Who ever thought up the word ‘Mammogram’? Every time I hear it, I think I’m supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.
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Stocking only the very best in ladies fashion including leading quality designer labels Sizes from 8 to 20
(other sizes can be ordered)
Extensive Sales Rack.
Opening Times: Monday - Friday 11am - 6pm Saturday 11am - 2pm
Tel: 952 927 245
Avda. del Mediterrรกneo, Edif. San Pedro del Mar, Local 4, San Pedro Alcรกntara (near Da Bruno Restaurant, opposite the Fishing Boat)
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HOT GOSS!
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p i s s z i o b G how S
X FACTOR CULL‌Olly Murs 'being given the chance to walk' from X Factor... as Nick Grimshaw quits and Caroline Flack is 'axed'. The X Factor has just lost Nick Grimshaw as a judge, and Caroline Flack has reportedly been given the axe. And fresh reports now claim that Caroline's co-host Olly Murs is being given the chance to 'walk before he's pushed' from the ITV talent series. According to The Sunday Mirror (published last month), a source said: 'Simon Cowell likes Olly and doesn't want him to go under a cloud so he's being given the chance to walk before he's pushed. Olly always said he would never present the show without Caroline. MILLIE MACKINTOSH & PROFESSOR GREEN... Have seperated after two years of marrige. The breakdown of their marriage comes just a week after the rapper from east London revealed he had only seen his wife once this year. The 32-year-old spoke candidly to The Sun about the troubles in their marriage due to the difficulties in seeing each other - yet vowed they make the most of the time they have. Also kids became a problem: they have had 'crazy, explosive rows' over her 'reluctance to have children' causing marriage split. KEEPING IT IN THE FAMILY... Gigi and Bella Hadid's brother Anwar signs up to their modelling agency. His sisters are currently taking the fashion world by storm and now it looks like Anwar Hadid is following in their (very fashionable) footsteps. The 16-year-old brother of Gigi and Bella has signed with the same modelling agency as his famous siblings, IMG. Anwar has already graced the pages of Vogue L’Uomo and Nylon magazine. Fashion runs deep in the Hadid household; mum Yolanda Foster was a model for fifteen years before her daughters took over the reigns.
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HOT GOSS!
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p i s s z i o b G how S
DAVID & VICTORIA BECKHAM AT WAR OVER ‘SPOILT’ SON:
Just a quick look through Brooklyn Beckham’s Instagram shows that he has an eye for photography. And while his shots can certainly raise a few impressed eyebrows, no one was expecting the first photography gig he landed to be with Burberry. Due to the backlash of their son getting this prestigious job the whole world if now commenting on their parenting skills. The biggest bone of contention comes from David being sensitive towards the outside world viewing Brooklyn as ‘spoilt’, and all their efforts to raise grounded children being undone. We wonder, can’t they just send him back to work in that coffee shop in Notting Hill and be done with it?
TOWIE STARS LOOKING SERIOUSLY GLAMOROUS IN 2016...
The who’s who. Jess Wright, James Argent and Ferne McCann are all missing from the new series starting on ITVBe on February the 28th. As we go to print they are filming in Gran Canaria. The shows newest arrivals are Love Island star Jon Clark and his brother Chris, Courtney Green and Chloe Meadows. Let the cat fights begin...( and that’s just the lad’s!). It’s also thought that some old TOWIE favourites – Gemma Collins and Amy Childs – are set to return to the show.
KATIE PRICE PLANNING FULL OVERHAUL…The Loose Women try-
ing to turn back the clock. She recently issued a warning to her fans about the dangers of cosmetic surgery after having her 32GG breast implants removed. But it seems Katie Price has no such fear of going to see a cosmetic surgeon again. With her 40th birthday approaching the former glamour model is determined to take action now and is booking in for dermabrasion, chemical peels, laser tightening and Botox.
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Mind Your Manners
A teacher was trying to teach her class good manners...
She asked, “Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young
lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the toilet?”
Michael thought for a minute and then said, “you wait here, I have to go and
have a pee.”
The teacher screeched at him, “No no no! That is extremely rude! What about
you Peter, how would you say it?” Peter said, “ I am sorry, but I really need to go to the lav. I’ll
manners
be right back.” “That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word lav at the dinner table. Right, little Johnny, can you please show us your good manners?” I would say, “Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you’ll get to meet after dinner.”
HOME RENOVATIONS & SWIMMING POOLS .LWFKHQV %DWKURRPV 7LOLQJ 3DWLRV
6RODU +RW :DWHU 3RRO +HDWLQJ 8QGHUIORRU 6SDFH +HDWLQJ 5HPRYDEOH *ODVV 3RRO )HQFLQJ
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Winter Warmers
Well we have had it very good up until now but winter is definitely here... Oh the feel of icy marble beneath your feet when you get up in the morning! Spanish properties can feel much colder that those of our home countries as here the properties tend to cater for the warmer months, with finer window dressings and tiled or marble floors. We could insulate walls but this may be a larger job than you would prefer to undertake especially if your property is just a holiday home and used mainly in the summer.
Just the look of a rug
on the floor instantly gives a warmer feel and to have a small bedside rug to step onto can make all the difference until you find your slippers in the night. Remember your rugs can be rolled up and put away in the summer when they are not needed. www.masalgueiro.pt has a beautiful range of rugs from short piles to shaggy, wool, cotton and silk which are beautiful materials and lovely to walk on, however, cleaning is not always easy. Perhaps a mixture of synthetic and natural fibers will be your choice. There are so many sizes and styles to choose from If you are not sure of the style or size, we at White Design Company are happy for you to try them in your property before you commit to any particular one. This is only one of our suppliers for rugs, we have many more in stock. 18
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Animal prints are also back
in fashion. Look for the skins collection with MA Salgueiro, original sheepskin, leather and original cow skin. Last but not least there is also a great collection of outdoor rugs particularly useful in areas with glass curtains.
Concerning your windows, Think about layering
we lose so much heat around the window area. We can add a heavier curtain or line the ones you already have. The lining can often be added temporarily if need be. We don’t always have the storage space for winter and summer curtains, layering is another idea, if it is feasible. We have many suggestions and we can accommodate for whatever look you prefer. Visit the showroom in La Cala de Mijas, situated between the BP petrol station and the famacia, opposite Lidl and we can discuss your requirement.
p e e k d n a n o o s u o y So see this winter, warm
Dilys.
Edif. Butibamba la Cala de Mijas, Mijas Costa email: info@whitedesignco.com | www.whitedesignco.com Tel: 952 494 155 | Mob: 600 583 673 find us on facebook
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Costa Rents
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You Said What?
Two friends, Barry and John, were on a train from London to Newcastle when an Australian joined them at their table. Barry asked the Aussie, “ So, why are you heading to Newcastle?” He replied, “I’ve just flown from Oz, I’m here to see my girlfriend.” Barry was a bit deaf, so he asked John, “What did he say?”
John replied loudly, ‘He has just flown here from Australia. Going to see his girlfriend.”
“Blimey,” said Barry, “she must be lovely as you are travelling all this way.” “Yeah, she’s great,” said the Aussie. “You what?” said Barry. “She’s great,” John echoed. Barry continued his questioning. “What’s so great about her then? Is it the sex?” The Aussie replied, “Oh yes. She enjoys dressing up in leather and stilettos, being whipped and doing who knows what a cucumber.”
“What?” said Barry. Exasperated, John said, “He knows you mother.”
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One night, a wife is up late waiting for her husband to come home. “Where have you been?” she asks when he finally walks through the door at 2am, clearly very drunk.
“Darling, you wouldn’t believe it. I went to this amazing pub. It had gold ashtrays, gold stools, gold cups and even gold toilets,” he replies. Realising it isn’t worth talking to him any further while his in this state, she goes to bed. The next day she finds a business card for “The Golden Pub” in here husbands pocket. She gives them a call...
“Hello, is this the Golden Pub?” “Yes, Madam,” comes the reply. “Right. I need to see if my husband was talking any sense. Do you have golden ashtrays?” “Yes”. “Do you have golden stools?” “Yes”. “Do you have golden cups?” “Yes”. “Do you have golden toilets?” There are a couple of moments pause, then a couple of seconds later she hears the man shout. “Oi, Dave. I
think we’ve found the bloke who crapped in your tuba.”
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BarBoru, Best Place To Be...
Amazing Barboru Breakfast Lunchtime Special Sunday Lunch Huge A la Carte Menu A friendly relaxing Restaurant Right next to the new lift! full english from €4.95
€6.95 including a drink
1pm onwards from €9.95 available all day
& LOUNGE BAR WITH SEA VIEWS
Check
www.barboru.com for who is on and when!!
952 933 158
For Reservations
(Advised for music nights)
Open 10am until late
Barboru, Top Floor, El Zoco, Calahonda
HIP UNDER NEW OWNERS
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TRIVIA QUIZ
1) Which capital city does the river Liffey flow through? 2) Which swimming stroke is named after an insect? 3) How many sides does a SCALENE triangle have? 4) Where would you normally find a PLIMSOLL LINE? 5) Which one of Robin Hood's Merry Men was a travelling minstrel? 6) What is the currency in South Africa? 7) The adjective LUPINE refers to which animal? 8) What was the former name for Thailand? 9) How many strings are there on a Spanish guitar? 10) Why is the Englishman Nicholas Breakspear so unique? 11) Which is the largest castle in Wales?
12) Released in 1963, what was the title of The Beatles first LP? 13) In which month of the year is St George's Day? 14) Who created the character of Tin-Tin? 15) Which is the highest mountain in the USA? 16) How many pints are there in EIGHT Imperial gallons? 17) In which city are the Headquarters of the United Nations? 18) In the Bible who was the wife of Abraham? 19) Which US State has a Union Jack as part of their State Flag? 20) Of which band was Morrissey the lead singer? 21) What type of animal is a KERRY BLUE? 22) Who became the World's
first test-tube baby in 1978? 23) From what substance is pencil lead generally made? 24) In which month is the Royal Ascot Horse Racing Meet held? 25) What was the name of the Sword in the stone in Arthurian legend? 26) In which country is the airline Lufthansa based? 27) From which planet did Superman originate? 28) How many furlongs are there in ONE mile? 29) In TV's "Countdown", how many letters are chosen in each round? 30) According to the Bible who cut Samson's hair?
DRAIN & LEAK
Answers on page 84
SOLUTIONS
High Pressure water jetting Drain tracing, C.C.T.V. Septic tank problems and installations Bath, sinks and toilets unblocked Leak detection and repairs
Fully Qualified, Fully Legal, No Call Out Fee.
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Tel: 951 310 111
Mobile: 651 111 005
Email: drainandleaksolutions@hotmail.com
CLMŠ2012
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Local News Story Headlines
Underwhelming
Events that shook the world! These newspaper headlines were obviously written on a slow news day…
• Kent Gazette: MARGATE CHEEKY SEAGULL NABS CRISPS!
• UK Local Newspaper: I’VE BEEN POSTING MY LETTERS IN THE DOG POO BOX FOR TWO YEARS. Alf, 91, confuses disposal bin for nearby postbox. • Kent Gazette: OAP DRIVER HITS LAMPPOST.
• Mid Sussex Times: EARLY CUSTOMERS FIND BOOTS CLOSED.
• South London Press: NOISE ROW NEIGHBOURS ‘HEAR EACH OTHER PEE’.
• Isle of Wight Country Press: OVEN REMOVED FROM HOME. A St Helens resident called fire services in the early hours of this morning (Thursday), worried about a burning smell coming from her oven. Firefighters attend the scene, in Downsview Road, shortly after midnight, and removed the oven from the house.
• Local Newspaper Preston, UK: POUNDSHOP IS VICTIM TO THIEF. A ROLL of tin foil was stolen from Poundland in Frairgate, Preston. The thief struck at 6pm on November the 26th. The foil was worth £1. Anyone with information about the shoplifter is asked to contact the police. • Croydon Advertiser: POLICE STORM PUB IN MORRIS DANCER ROW.
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GADGETS &Gizmo’s The Black Eyed Peas' Will.i.am’s i.am+ brand have announced their second smartwatch is a standalone wearable device that doesn't need to be paired to a smartphone to function. It has its own SIM card and 4G connection, letting you make calls via the speaker or a Bluetooth headset, plus you can send and receive texts and use data. It's powered by AneedA, a voice-activated, Android-based operating system that doesn't look anything like Android Wear. The device has a 1.63in touch display and a front-facing camera, as well, and it'll have apps from Yelp to put local businesses and other info on your wrist.
If you thought putting your trousers on straight from the radiator was the ultimate in winter luxury, Digitsole’s Warm Series will blow your socks off. These heated, app-controlled inner soles can be stoked up to 45ºC and will pump out heat for up to six hours. They also count your steps and calories burned, so the warm fuzzy feeling of accomplishment should stretch further than just the soles of your feet. Still well entrenched in the blocky worlds of Minecraft? You're certainly not alone, you might want to sign up for the monthly Mine Chest. It's a physical parcel that you'll receive once a month, and it includes an array of Minecraft gear and merchandise, along with "neat DIY crafting recipes," says Mojang. You can sign up now to receive the first package in May, although they're starting with just U.S. deliveries for now - also it's a bit pricey at US$37 (about 30€) a month including shipping fees. At least you ought to get some sweet stuff for your monthly investment.
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Ricoh's Pentax line is known amongst its fans for striking a fine balance between price and functionality, they have finally debuted the K-1, their new flagship camera and first full-frame digital SLR option. Offering up the same equivalent image area as a 35mm film camera, with a 35.9 x 24.0mm CMOS image sensor that pumps out photos at an effective 36.4 megapixel count. It ahas the same kind of depth you'd expect from a 35mm film camera. It uses a Pixel Shift Resolution System, too, which snaps four images of the same shot just a pixel apart and then turns them into a composite image with more accurate colouring. Available in April starting at 2.000€
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All the latest in the world of tech and gaming... Like many old-school ZX Spectrum fans, we received last year's officially licensed ZX Spectrum Vega revival with utter excitement.Now Retro Computers have announced a Sinclair ZX Spectrum Vega+, which is in the form of a dedicated handheld system. It has its own LCD screen built into the device, with an overall shape somewhat akin to the PlayStation Vita. It's not simply an on-the-go device: you can also plug it into your TV for a more traditional Spectrum experience, and tap into the 1,000 licensed, built-in games. Or you can download potentially thousands more, as the device has a microSD slot for expandable storage.
The 3Doodler's Start formula is dead-simple. Each pen comes with a starter pack of plastic strands stick one in the pen, turn it on, and extrude that plastic into fanciful figures or faithful reconstructions. In a way, you yourself become a 3D printer, except your brain is the software that gives form and substance to your ideas. The new pen will be about back 40â‚Ź when it is released this May. 3Doodler has also developed a new kind of biodegradable plastic filament that melts at lower temperatures so you can even doodle on your skin! At this year's Toy Fair Spin Master showed off its latest drone creation: a USS Enterprise quadcopter. It will be arriving in time for Star Trek's 50th anniversary this autumn. The saucer casing is an open framework so the rotors can function, making the drone resemble a ship under construction. All of the essential features are still there: The bridge on top, windows along the edge the ship's name & serial number. It also has a number of sound effects, including the Enterprise's distinctive phaser and warp sounds. It will retail for around 120â‚Ź.
On sale from the 11th of this month, The new Samsung Galaxy 7 and Galaxy 7 Edge, the & is the same size as the previous 6 but the Edge is the same size as the previous 6 Edge plus, but with more pixels and a clearer display. Some of the new features include a faster camera and flash, a new 40% faster GPU making this a serous gaming machine, and its water proof! Coupled with a return to the micro SD card slot and a free Gear VR headset with preorders, this will no doubt give Apple some serious competition.
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your MIND ownB ESS N I S U B N I A G BAR
BUSIN
REAL ESTATE AGENCY
Situated in a very busy commercial centre. Established for two years - recently refurbished.
80 Properties on their registers all of which are direct instructions.
CK SALE I U Q R O F D E C 15.000â‚Ź REDU www.business-sales-spain.com Telephone: 951 254 222 Mobile: 663 061 669 info@business-sales-spain.com
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BUSINESS SINESS
SALES
&
RENTALS
WE NEED YOUR BUSINESS We have buyers waiting
For a professional service that cares about selling your business please contact us
WE URGENTLY NEED MORE BUSINESSES FOR SALE To receive updates on all new instructions go to: www.facebook.com/business.sales.spain and press like.
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your MIND ownB B U S I
Advertising your business for s NO up front fees NO hidden charges
Restaurant in Busy Port: 95.000€
Modern American Diner style restaurant in a high profile frontline position. Extremely busy restaurant. It has an excellent reputation and a TripAdvisor certificate of excellence.
Printers Specialising in T-shirts, Signs & Promotional Items. 22.000€
Established on the Costa del Sol for 16 years. Top quality machinery that has been kept in good condition.
Choice of 2 FANTASTIC Restaurants 69.000€ - 190.000€ Between San Pedro and Estepona. Both with VERY HIGH ratings on Tripadvisor...
Popular Internet Cafe In Mijas Costa: 38.000€ This popular internet café has a very regular and loyal clientele and is always busy. It is a real community meeting point and offers a variety of services.
www.business-sales-spain.com Telephone: 951 254 222 Mobile: 663 061 669 info@business-sales-spain.com
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BUSINESS S I N E S S
S A L E S
&
R E N TA L S
for sale in Spain and the UK NO advertising fees NO sale - NO fee
Inland Printing & Magazine Business 25.000€
This Printing and Magazine business has been running for 13 years in its current location and has huge scope for expansion.
MailBox & Courier Office Marbella 170.000€
This business is a must have! A very high profile shop/office in Marbella.
Restaurant, Fuenigirola: 29.900€
This beautiful restaurant right in the very centre of Fuengirola opened about four years ago. Situated in an attractive square just a minutes walk from the seafront.
Choice of 2 Car Body Shop & Sprayers, Marbella: from 35.000€
WE URGENTLY NEED MORE BUSINESSES FOR SALE To receive updates on all new instructions go to: www.facebook.com/business.sales.spain and press like.
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Local News Story Headlines
Underwhelming
CONTINUED - Events that shook the world! These newspaper headlines were obviously written on a slow news day…
• Kent Messenger: I’M NOT DEAD SAYS GRAN.
• Manchester Evening News: MAN’S LEGS STOLEN – WEDDING DREAM SHATTERED.
• Local Newspapaer Bilton Lane (North Yorkshire,UK): WOMAN FINDS A HAT IN A TREE. A HAT has been found up a tree in Bilton. The woolen head garment, which is red and has a bobble, was discovered on Tuesday by Bilton Lane resident Sharon Bromance, 43. “I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw it up there,” she said. “I got it down with a stick and put it on a fence post.” The owner now has until April 10th to reclaim the hat, after which it will be destroyed. • The Bath Chronicle: CAFÉ EJECTS NOISY BOY, 2.
• Birmingham Mail: SHOCK AS POPE STEPS DOWN TWO YEARS AFTER BRUM VISIT. • The Argus: WEEKEND – YAWNING ALMOST KILLED MAN. • Hartlepool Mail: MAN STOLE TORTOISE TO PAY FOR BOOZE. • The Argus: KITTEN CHOKES ON MOUSE.
• Preston Evening Post: JOHN LENNON’S TOOTH TO VISIT PRESTON.
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Local News Story Headlines
Underwhelming
CONTINUED - Events that shook the world! These newspaper headlines were obviously written on a slow news day…
• This is Kent: WHISTABLE MUM IN CUSTARD SHORTAGE. A mum of three is dis-custard after a hunt for the dessert sauce in the town proved fruitfulness.
Bishops Stortford: TOY SHOP OWNER THROWS A TANTRUM.
Sunderland Echo: SUNDERLAND FIREFIGHTERS RESCUE DUCK FROM LAKE.
This is Kent: MAN STUCK IN TOILET – A MAN aged 60 had to be rescued by firefighters after he accidentally locked himself in his lavatory at his home in Church Street, Whitstable, on Monday night. The alarm was raised by a passer-by who heard shouts for help. Firefighters broke into the bathroom to get him out. South London Press: STREATHAM OAP BAFFLES EXPERTS WITH HIS 2FT LONG COURGETTES.
Lancashire Evening Post: POLICE HUNT CHORLEY ‘BUM PINCHER’.
Birmingham Mail: MAN STAB’S INFLATABLE DUCK Man Who Stabbed Inflatable Duck With Scissors on Broad Street Avoids Jail. A ‘TIPSY’ Broad Street reveler who punctured a nine-foot duck costume with a pair of nail scissors “after a few shots of tequila” has escaped being sent to prison. Norwich Evening News: CASTLE UNDER ATTACK FROM PIGEONS!
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HILLTOP PROPERTY SERVICES S.L. PROPERTY MANAGEMENT... PROPERLY MANAGED!
ARE YOU RENTING OUT YOUR PROPERTY? If so, you should be aware of the new legislation which states that you need to be registered with the local authority We offer a number of services which includes advising owners about the above registration and making sure they understand the new property requirements for short term rentals
Failure to comply with this new law will incur heavy fines Cleaning and laundry, monthly inspections, general repairs and building works, etc. are among the other property management options we offer
Should you need to learn more... For a friendly, no obligation chat - please call
(+34) 951 978 046
(+34) 600 795 113
email: info@hilltopprops.net
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Head in the Clouds…
About and hour into a transatlantic flight, the captain made an announcement...
“Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed but there is nothing to be concerned about. We still have three engines left. However, our flight will now take about one hour longer than scheduled. We apologise for the inconvenience.” Twenty minutes later the captain announced...
“I regret to report that one more of our engines has failed. There is s---till nothing to worry about as we have two engines left. However our arrival will now be delayed by about two hours.” It was another fifteen minutes later when the captain announced...
“This is quite unusual, but unfortunately one more engine has failed. Not to worry, however. Believe it or not we are still able to fly with just one engine. However our delay will now be a least three hours.” In the cabin, one passenger turned to another and said...
“Oh dear, if we lose one more engine, we’’ be up here all day.”
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The Terrace Cafe. Bar
Open 7 days a week Monday to Saturday 9am - 5pm & Sunday 12pm - 4pm
English & Continental Breakfast Lunch, Afternoon Tea & Sunday Lunch (All Freshly Prepared Home Cooked Food)
Tel: 627 192 545 Email: terracecalahonda@gmail.com 6th March - Mothers Day 26th March - Easter Sunday
CC Los Cipreses, Primera Planta, Calahonda, 29649 Mijas Costa. Km 196 (above Chinese Bazaar by Lidl)
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AN (UNWANTED) CHANGE IN LIFE CHOICE…
Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances. While attending a Marriage Weekend, my wife and I, listened to the facilitator declare, 'It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other..." He then addressed the men, 'Can you name and describe your wife's favourite flower?' I leaned over, touched my wife's hand gently, and whispered, 'Self-raising, isn't it?'.... And thus began my life of celibacy.
A Man’s World
A SIGN OF THE TIMES… Dear Daddy, soon, so get out your cheque I am coming home to get married far away from me. As you is who boy a book. I'm in love with in lives know, I am in Australia, and he My Dear Lilly, became site, web ng dati a on met Scotland.We Like Wow! Really? Cool! p. tsap Wha on s chat long friends on Facebook, had Whatever... now we've had He proposed to me on Skype, and I suggest you two get married on r. Vibe ugh thro ship tion rela two months of Twitter, have fun on Tango, buy need your bless- your kids on Amazon, and pay My beloved and favourite Dad, I wedding." for it all through Paypal. And ing, good wishes, and a really big when you get fed up with this new husband, sell him on eBay. Lots of love and thanks, Your favourite daughter,
Lilly xxx
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Dad
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A beautiful women and a priest...
A beautiful young woman, on an international flight, asked the priest beside her, “Father, may I ask a favour?” “Of course you may. What can I do for you?” “Well, I bought this expensive electronic hair dryer that is well over the Customs limits and I’m afraid that they’ll confiscate it from me. Is there anyway that you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?” “I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.” “With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.” When they got to Customs, the young lady let the priest go ahead of her. The Customs Officer asked, “Father, do you have anything to declare?” “From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.” The Officer thought this answer strange, so he asked, “And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?” “I have a marvelous little instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.” Roaring with laughter, the Officer said, “God bless you, Father, go ahead…
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Accidentally! on the nudist beach‌
A mother and father accidentally take their 6-year old son to a nudist beach... The dad thinks it will be a good idea to stay (just for education purposes)! As the boy walks along the sand, he notices that many of the women have boobs bigger than his mother's, so he goes back to ask her why. She tells her son, 'The bigger they are, the sillier the lady is.'
The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger things than his dad does. She replies, 'The bigger they are, the dumber the man is' Again satisfied with her answer, the boy goes back to the ocean to play Shortly thereafter, the boy returns and promptly tells his mother:
'Daddy is talking to the silliest lady on the beach, and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets.’
This is Molly... Meet Molly she is a small dog weighing 6-7kg she was born on the 18th of March 2013. We rescued her form a dog pound. She is brown with white patches and of mixed breed. Molly is very shy at the moment but would love a new home wtih lots of affection and cuddles.
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Medical Tips
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What is the Zika virus?
A tropical infection new to the Western Hemisphere. The Zika virus is a mosquito-transmitted infection related to dengue, yellow fever and West Nile virus. Although it was discovered in the Zika forest in Uganda in 1947 and is common in Africa and Asia, it did not begin spreading widely in the Western Hemisphere until last May, when an outbreak occurred in Brazil. Until now, almost no one on this side of the world had been infected. Few people here have immune defenses against the virus, so it is spreading rapidly. The first case of pregnant woman with Zika virus has been confirmed here in Spain. Spanish health authorities say the diagnosis brought the total to nine patients with Zika identified in the country. Yet for most, the infection causes no symptoms and leads to no lasting harm. Scientific concern is focused on women who become infected while pregnant and those who develop a temporary form of paralysis after exposure to the Zika virus.
SymptomS
• About 1 in 5 people infected with Zika virus become ill. • the most common symptoms of Zika are fever, rash, joint pain, or conjunctivitis (red eyes).
• other common symptoms include muscle pain and headache. the incubation period (the time from exposure to symptoms) for Zika virus disease is not known, but is likely to be a few days to a week. • the illness is usually mild with symptoms lasting for several days to a week. • people usually don’t get sick enough to go to the hospital, and they very rarely die of Zika.
DIAGNoSIS
• the symptoms of Zika are similar to those of dengue and chikungunya, diseases spread through the same mosquitoes that transmit Zika.
• See your healthcare provider if you develop the symptoms described above and have visited an area where Zika is found.
• If you have recently traveled, tell your healthcare provider when and where you traveled.
• your healthcare provider may order specialized blood tests to look for Zika or other similar viruses like dengue or chikungunya.
• Zika virus usually remains in the blood of an infected person for about a week but it can be found longer in some people.
treAtmeNt
• If you have Zika, prevent mosquito • there is no vaccine to prevent or bites for the first week of your illspecific medicine to treat Zika infec- ness. tions. • During the first week of infection, Zika virus can be found in the blood Treat the symptoms: and passed from an infected person ◦ Get plenty of rest. to a mosquito through mosquito ◦ Drink fluids to prevent dehydration. bites. ◦ take medicine such as acetamino phen (tylenol®) to relieve fever and An infected mosquito can then spread the virus to other people. pain. ◦ Do not take aspirin and other nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs. ◦ If you are taking medicine for another medical condition, talk to your healthcare provider before taking additional medication.
CHECK OUT... Our website at www.costalinkmagazine.com for lots more Medical Tips!
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Health & Well Being
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FACIAL MAPPING WHAT DO YOUR SPOTS MEAN?
Baffled by what causes spots? Ever wonder if it's a coincidence that when you're hormonal you break out with a juicy second head on your chin (the last thing you need at that time of month!)? Or if you've neglected your five-a-day you suddenly see a forehead of pimples?
SPOTS ON THE FOREHEAD:
Whilst a fringe may help to hide a blemished forehead it could also collect grease from styling products and sweat causing the pesky pimples in the first place. But bangs/fringe or no bangs fringe it could be all down to your diet.
intestine, often caused by heavily processed foods. Processed foods can mean anything from ready meals to biscuits so think about what you're eating. If you can't picture or list all the ingredients it's a bad sign.
SPOTS ON THE CHIN:
Few girls don't get a spot (or four!) once a month that makes your chin feel like its set to explode but 'period spots' are not products of our paranoia, they really can Cheeks can be one of the tenderest areas to find a spot and the hardest to deal with so try addressing the cause. be hormonally related. Spots on the chin generally relates Spots on the cheeks maybe the result of too much meat, to hormonal fluctuations often at period or ovulation sugar and dairy products. They may even be due to a dirty time. pillow case or your mobile phone... GO UNDER COVER...
SPOTS ON THE CHEEKS:
SPOTS ON THE JAWLINE:
Luckily these spots of bother aren't as visible as those on other areas but still, no one wants a bumpy jawline. Spots on the jawline can indicate congestion in the large
To treat spots the advice remains the same as ever - try hard NOT to squeeze or pick them with dirty fingers and use a medicated products to treat and conceal.
CHECK OUT... our website at www.costalinkmagazine.com for more health & wellbeing features.
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Medical Mayhem USA
OOOP’s...
A man comes into the ER and yells... 'My wife's going to have her baby in the cab.' I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - and I was in the wrong one. Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco.
Bedside Manner...
At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall...... 'Big breaths,’ I instructed. 'Yes, they used to be,’ Replied the patient. Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA.
The Wrong End of the Patch...
During a patient's two-week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. 'Which one?’ I asked. 'The patch. 'The Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!' I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one. Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA
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ALL REVVED UP
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THINGS ARE NOT QUITE WHAT THEY SEEM…
This Cesna aeroplane hadn’t flown since 1973 and had been stripped of its engines, tail assembly, and many other components necessary for flight. It was then paired with a Toyota Space Cruiser and entered into the LeMons American Endurance race which has $500 build limit the owner now plans to add headlights and taillights, get license plates, and drive the Spirit of LeMons on the street!!
The purple vehicle, which looks more at home at a funfair than on the roads, is a fully converted bumper car that runs on petrol. The tiny car has working lights, indicators, a petrol gauge and even a tax disc to prove its legality to incredulous onlookers. It has three wheels and an engine from a Reliant Robin Rialto, and can dodge through traffic at a top speed of 75mph.
The Upside Down Truck - The topsy-turvy car is made of two separate vehicles a 1991 Ford Ranger pickup truck on the road, with a 1995 F-150 pickup truck body placed on top, complete with spinning wheels, It cost 6.000$ to build and was inspired by a road accident!!
This Dwarf Mercury known as the Rebel Rouser, is a completely hand built steel fully functional vehicle which stands at just 116 cm high. Over the course of five years everything was made from scratch except for the spotlights and mirrors and powered by a Toyota engine the ‘Rouser can hit highway speeds with relative ease.
Baron Margo is an LA metalworker whose art cars are inspired, in part, by his conviction that automobiles should be more futuristic and imaginative than they are. The Rocket Motorcycle Car seen here is 15 feet long and 6 feet wide and goes over 100 mph. 58
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March 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/02/16 3:40 pm Page 60
Simnel share ’n’ tear buns
Don't choose between hot cross buns, Simnel cake and Chelsea buns... This ingenious Easter bake brings together all three!
Ingredients:
• 300g strong white bread flour • 140g plain flour, + extra for dusting • 50g golden caster sugar • 7g sachet fast-action yeast • Zest 1 lemon • 200ml warm milk • 2 tsp almond extract • 1 large egg
Method:
• Oil, for greasing bowl/proving For the filling • 50g butter, at room temperature • 100g light soft brown sugar • 2 tsp mixed spice • 1 tbsp lemon juice • 50g mixed peel • 50g currants
1) Mix the flours, sugar, yeast, zest and 1 tsp salt in a big bowl. In a separate bowl, whisk together the milk, almond extract and egg, then stir into the dry ingredients with a cutlery knife. Leave to rest for 10 mins. 2) Knead the dough for 10 mins on a lightly floured surface until smooth and no longer sticky, then put in an oiled bowl, cover with oiled cling film and leave to rise somewhere warm-ish for at least 1 hr until doubled in size. 3) Line the base of a 25 x 35cm tin, or 30cm square, with baking parchment. Mix the first 4 filling ingredients to a smooth paste, then stir in the dried fruit and 50g marzipan. 4) Roll out the dough to a rectangle about 35 x 25cm. Crumble over the filling and press into the dough. Roll up tightly from one long side and, using a floured knife, cut
BIRTHDAY PARTIES PADEL TENNIS FOOTBALL PLAYGROUND KIDS CAMPS ASSAULT COURSE
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• 50g marzipan, coarsely grated, plus 50g/2oz extra for the ‘Apostle’ balls To finish • 85g apricot jam • 85g icing sugar, sifted • 2 tbsp toasted flaked almonds
into 12 even pieces. Put these into the tin, spiral-side up, leaving 0.5cm space between them. Cover with oiled cling film and leave to rise for 30-45 mins until nearly doubled in size. Heat oven to 200C/180C fan/gas 6. 5) Bake the buns for 25-30 mins. If they are browning too quickly after 15 mins, cover loosely with baking parchment. Take the buns out of the oven and, while warm, melt the jam and brush all over the top. Leave to cool in the tin. Once cool, mix the icing sugar with a little water to a runny consistency and drizzle over. With the remaining marzipan, make 11 balls to represent the Apostles – without Judas – and scatter over with the almonds. Best eaten the day of baking. If making ahead or freezing, warm through in a low oven before serving to give that just-baked flavour.
Harry’s Sports Bar
All Live Sports & Premiere League Football. Six TV’s & Big Screen. Full menu... Sunday roast and homemade tapas. Large sun terrace. Open 10am-late, seven days a week. Upstairs Los Jarales, Calahonda
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Stran
Strange Strangebuttrue...
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WELL I NEVER KNEW THAT....!
piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would are washing your hands and complain slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying "It's because the water Temperature isn't just raining cats and dogs." how you like it, think about how things used • Those with money had plates made of to be. pewter. Food with high acid content caused
Some
horrible histories… Here are some fascinating facts from years past explaining some of the sayings and customs we have today! The next time you
• Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water!"
some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning and death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
• Houses had thatched roofs, thick straw
more next month...
• Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or ''The Upper Crust''.
GARDEN CENTER L I N D AV I S TA
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Ctra de Cadiz, Km171,29670, San Pedro de Alcantara, Behind McDonalds in San Pedro. Tel; 952785206
CLM©2008
HU GE RA NGE OF: POT S lG ARD E N TO OLS lPLA NT S FLOW ERS & S HRU B S lG A RDEN FU RNI TU RE lG A R D E N O R N A M E N TS
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March 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/02/16 3:50 pm Page 64
FINANCIAL NEWS The Euro & World Round Up
The PM’s Meeting with the Eurozone...
UK Prime Minister David Cameron met Eurozone leaders in Brussels to discuss the UK’s position within the European Union. The Prime Minister had a proposal that he wanted Eurozone leaders to sign which would enable the UK to hold a referendum in regards to remaining or staying within the European Union.
After much discussion David Cameron came to a compromise and Eurozone leaders signed the proposal. Since the meeting, the UK government has announced the referendum will take place on the 23rd June 2016.
With the fears of a Brexit having caused big problems for Pound Sterling over the last few weeks the EU deal in my could see Sterling strength return to the market.
When you look at Sterling’s huge fall against the Euro since December which is as much as 10% or £7,5000 on a currency transfer of EUR100,000 a lot of the problems for the Pound have been caused by the political and economic uncertainty of a Brexit.
With Mr Cameron having reached a deal which is Sterling Euro rates are in for a recovery next week in the interests of the UK we can expect to see as the EU deal has finally been reached. In what fairly rapid gains for Sterling over the course of has been seen as a positive step for the UK this next few weeks. is now surely going to be reflected in both Sterling Euro and Sterling Dollar exchange rates.
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What’s On Guide...
1st March – 1st April 2016: PLAYMOBIL EXPOSITION, Marbella. A really new and fun exposition with free entrance to children under 3 and only a euro for the older kids unfortunately 3 eurs for us adults! To be held at the Palacio de Congresos, for more information please call: +34 952 828 244. 4th March: A Festival of BLUES with top UK band "Hundred Seventy Split" featuring Leo Lyons and Joe Gooch (ex Ten Years After) + the highly acclaimed "Mama Paula Blues Band" + blues guitarist/vocalist Tijs Groen. Date: 4 March 2016 To be hold at the Palacio de la Paz, Fuengirola at 8:30pm for more information see www.ticketsource.eu/bigmpromotions or call +34 952 661 819. 11th March 2016: The International Women’s Day 2016, Costa Women are delighted to be organising the event for the second year running, with lots going on empowering women here on the Costa del Sol. Location: Andalucia Lab, Km 189,6, 29604. For more information please contact: ali@costawomen.com 13th March 2016: FES DANCE MARBELLA@PALACIO CONGRESOS Marbella. It’s a big dance event with amazing choreography!! Everyone who has a relationship with dance can participate in entities may be public or private, some are gyms, APAS, dance academies, cultural associations, box, civic centers, sports centers, schools, etc... You can also do this if you belong to a separate group. Call: 617993336 for more information 20th March – 27th March 2016: Holy Week, Semana Santa, in Andalucia is an event that literally transforms towns and cities across this region. Processions of elaborately decorated floats are see in many city centres, Malaga has the biggest processions. From Holy Thursday to Easter Sunday traffic is closed off to the city centre and the solemn processions take over in the afternoons (so be sure to do your shopping in the morning). Every Monday: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain at La Iglesia Bar, near Bonanza Square, Benalmadena Costa 11am -12.30pm. Every Monday: Arts and Crafts Fair in Benahavis at 8pm in the Main Square in Benahavis. Every Monday: Age Concern Drop In for a coffee and a chat at The Captain’s bar Urb. Las Adelfas No. 11 from 11.30am to 1.00pm. Every Tuesday: The Costa Women Coffee Club meet every second Tuesday at 10am – 12.30pm for coffee, chats and other activities and is a social group designed to get ladies of all ages together. It’s best to join the group via Facebook or contact Emma on 608 408 771. Every Tuesday: Age Care Coffee Morning at the Baptist Church, Calahonda, where people can chat, share experiences & take part in a variety of activities. Tel: 952 933 409 for info. 11 am – 1 pm. Every Tuesday: Age Concern meet at the Manila bar in Los Boliches, next to the Yaramar hotel for Spanish lessons in the afternoon from 3.00pm until 3.45pm. Lifeline 652 537 615. Every Tuesday: International meeting for Expats in Estepona. At The Irish Fiddler in the port between 12.00pm and 2.00pm . A chat and meet people over a cup of coffee. Just drop in or contact Hein on 630756514. Every Wednesday: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain held in Fuengirola at the Bar Salon Varietes. 11am -12.30pm. Every Thursday: Age Concern meet at the Manila bar in Los Boliches, next to the Yaramar hotel for advice, support and friendship from 11.00am until 1.00pm. Pop in and meet new people and make new friends. Lifeline 652 537 615. Every Thursday: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain held in The Pensioner's Bar, Paseo Maritimo La Cala from 11am-12.30pm. Every Thursday: Market at Calypso, Calahonda. Every Thursday: Flea Market from 9am next to Aldi in Las Lagunas, plenty of parking. Every Thursday: Market at Calypso, Calahonda. Every Friday: Age Concern meet EVERY Friday at El Caballo de Oro in La Cala from 11.30 until 1.00pm. We are in the main square behind Supersol. Advice, support and friendship. Lifeline 652 537 615. Every Sunday: FAMA have a car boot sale at the Hippodrome from 9am - 2pm. Every Sunday: Craft Market in the Marbella Marina on the Teresa Zabell Pier: 12-6pm. 66
If you have an event, fundraiser or anything else please let us know... email: editor@costalinkmagazine.com or phone: 951 216 131.
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March 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/02/16 3:50 pm Page 68
ocal Info Emergency Numbers
---
Central number for Fire, Police & Ambulance National Police Local Police Guardia Civil dica
Medical
112 091 092 062
Emergency 061 Ambulance Marbella 902 505 061 Ambulance Coin 952 453 267
Train Timetables 902 240 202 Airports Malaga 952 048 844 Gibraltar 956 773 026
Health Centres
Marbella 952 769 946 Coin 952 452 767 San Pedro 952 787 700
Town Halls
Marbella 952 761 100 San Pedro 952 453 020 La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208 Fuengirola 952 589 300 Estepona 952 801 100
Fire Brigade
Emergency number 080 Marbella 952 774 349 Estepona 952 804 483 Fuengirola 952 461 046
Consulates
British Ireland Denmark Sweden Germany France U.S.A
952 952 952 952 952 952 952
Marbella Coin Estepona Fuengirola San Pedro
952 771 442 952 822 818 952 822 818 952 467 457 952 785 252
352 475 226 604 212 226 474
300 108 373 383 442 590 891
Tourist Information
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Transport
Bus Stations Marbella 952 764 400 Coin 952 450 366 San Pedro 952 781 396 Estepona 952 800249 For a list of complete times www.andalucia.com/travel/bus
Markets
Monday - Marbella (fairground site on east side) Tuesday - Fuengirola (fairground near Los Boliches) Wednesday -Estepona (Avda. Juan Carlos) La Cala - Feria ground. Thursday - San Pedro (Recinto Ferial) Calypso (Mijas Costa). Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama) Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano Pineda) & Nueva Andalucia (Next to Centro Plaza the Bullring). La Cala - Feria ground. Sunday - Puerto Estepona (Marina).
Cinemas
All the Cinemas listed below show films in English as well as Spanish. Call first to check what is showing that week. Marbella: Cinesur Plaza del Mar 952 766 941 La Cañada 902 333 231 Puerto Banus: Gran Marbella 952 810 077 Coin: La Trocha 951 315 039 Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221 622
Chemists
24 hour chemist Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz Km 194. Marbella. Tel: 952 83 25 89
Taxis
Marbella Taxis 952 774 488 Mijas Costa Taxis 952 476 593
Diary Dates
1st March: St David’s Day
6th March: Mothers Day (UK) 17th March: St Patrick’s Day 19th March: San Jose Spanish Father’s Day
24th March: Mandy Thursday (Public holiday) 25th March: Good Friday (Public holiday)
28th March: Easter Monday (Public holiday) 27th March: Summer time begins! Clocks go forward
if you would like to sponsor this page please call 951 254 222 or 663 061 669
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Marble Floor Polishing Phone Paul: 654 589 218 Before
After
Free advice on how to care for your floors at www.marblefloor.info
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S TA R S I GN S
A look at what's in store for you during March 2016...
Capricorn
Aquarius
Pisces
Aries
Taurus
Gemini 70
Capricorn, the first part of March 2016 (up until the 12th) puts practically first, leaving less room for passion. During this term, you tend to look at feelings via value, security and money. It could also be that you and your partner have a common interest in finances, resolving some material issues. During the second part of March 2016, the Moon eclipse on the 23rd could bring an event that ties together your preoccupations with home or family. Up until March 12th, Venus, will be bring greater than usual earnings to your sign or a boost in professional status or prestige. Perhaps you’re working on a contract, taking a exam or have an interview, anyway one of these activities has significantly high stakes. You should take care of yourself for a few months to come, do whatever you can to build up your body’s defenses. Aquarius, Venus, the planet of love, stays in your sign until March 12th 2016. Enjoy these magical days! Love is in the air and harmony reigns in your love life. The 12th to the 20th of March is not bad either: preoccupations with your partner could cause bad feelings though. On the work front career and prestige are topics of great interest for you during March 2016 (and coming months). You’ll experience a stronger drive professionally this month. Money is a mayor topic this month you can gain a lot, but you can also spend a lot. You’ll be in great shape this month. You have a lot of energy and enviable endurance. Spend your energy on active but well targeted activities. Don’t squander it away! Pisces, March 2016 is going to be emotional! The Sun, Mercury and Jupiter are all in your sign bringing with them very favourable effects on love and/or marriage. Lastly, on March 12th the cherry goes on top: Venus itself enters Pisces, planet of love and good understanding. Under such conditions, March is a very good month for Pisceans in regard to emotions. Ask and you shall receive! On the work front it’s an active and lively month, made dynamic by the Sun’s transit your skies although it’s a busy one, it is not without obstacles and challenges. From now until end of May 2016, you’ll be under constant fire. Brace yourself! You’re okay financially, and you’ll be doing even better beginning of the last week. The Sun’s presence in Pisces brings a lot of energy for the first two weeks of the month; you’ll be in a great mood during the second and third week try to relax when you have five minutes. Aries, your love life is going to be hectic this month, Venus brings you luck in all things you do until the 12th of March – if you are single and looking for ‘the one’ expect to find them! After March 12th though, things get complicated, feelings become blurry. If the relationship is solid and serious, expect a term during which you feel small frustrations. If you are already having some issues, it may be best to end it. One the work and finance side of things the month is full of ambition you will need to assert yourself in terms of career. March is a great month for achieving your goals. Financially, keep your head think things through, particularly after the 12th. You could feel more tired and a lack of focus during the first two weeks of March 2016. Take some time out when you can and try to chill out; it’s not a race you know! Taurus, if they haven’t made an appearance yet, relationship-related complications will almost surely manifest themselves during March 2016. Tread delicately as far as relationships go this month. Calm and a lot of patience are advised. On the work front March 2016 sees you enjoy excellent popularity and support. It’s useful to know, who’s on your side. Mars is in your sign until May bringing with it heightened ambition and competitiveness, but also brings a risk and unpleasantness. With regards to your finances keep a good hold on what you have, save up and don’t squander! Avoid credit cards and giving out loans as much as possible during this term! You’ll be feeling full of the joys of spring this month: you’re in great shape and have plenty of energy. Recharge your batteries when you can. Why not in the great outdoors? Enjoy your surroundings!
Gemini, this month Saturn and Mars are in your sign bringing with them complications as far as relationships are concerned, you’re on dangerous ground at this time. You are going to need a lot of diplomacy in order to argument and bickering. Be very, very, VERY diplomatic in your relations to others; avoid any situation that could lead to misunderstandings or conflicts! On the work and finance front March 2016 could be a good month for your career, expect to be give merit and recognition which will intern bring with it prestige and maybe even promotion. The Sun, Venus, and Mercury, are in your sign promising a change of situation. The Sun eclipse is significant maybe and unusual event will change the course of your career. You are generally in pretty good shape this month getting out and about will help you burn off some of the excess energy you have. -
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Cancer
Leo
Virgo
Libra
Scorpio
Sagittarius
Cancer, the first part of March 2016 isn’t too favourable for your love life. Venus is hard to fathom. After March 12th 2016, Venus enters a much lighter and fun area, your relationships could change to be: long-distance loves, maybe with someone from another part of the world, or, trips and holidays with a loved one enjoying each other company. On the work and finance front The Sun, Venus, and Mars are close to zenith – the point from which, once arrived, they will be able to reward you with fame and success. But the effects start kicking in during the last week of March 2016. Financially, you may experience instability during the first two weeks of March 2016 the opportunities will take place during the last week. You’ve entered a term during which you should keep a close eye on your health. Take no chances be careful and don’t avoid the doctor!
Leo, until March 12th 2016 you’re in Venus’ good books. So make the most of it! Venus brings peace, joy and harmony to you and your partner, luck in love and, if you are single then maybe the beginning of a new relationship or of any other love-related interest. On March 6th 2016 you enter a threemonth-term of intensified feelings that could start a passionate affair, but that could get you into a lot of trouble. Be careful! On the work front collaborations will bring you the most glory this month, it’s a great time for new proposals or to meet new contacts. The entire month has a distinctly financial air to it. Regardless of the situation or great investment idea, caution is advised. You’ll be in ok physical shape for the first two weeks of March 2016, but it improves greatly during the last week. Your morale could be better if you wouldn’t worry so much.
Virgo, March 2016 is going to be a very intense month for you in terms of feelings. This month has a lot of romantic potential for your sign, but is not without risk. The Sun, Mercury, Neptune and Venus are in your skies and bringing with them opportunities and renewals. It is also somewhat of an unstable term and could be put in danger by the wrong gesture, made at the wrong time. In some cases, a necessary break up could happen. On the work front collaborations are key this month, you enjoy working as a team, getting others interested in joint projects, giving them momentum. You are in pretty good shape throughout March 2016, but you’ll be feeling a generally tense atmosphere. Try to stay calm and don’t get annoyed you’ll deal with situations. Keeping your peace of mind and harmony in the home and family are worth making efforts. Libra, until March 12th 2016, Venus is in your sign bringing with it a very clam and serine time on the home front. After the 12th Venus and Saturn in your sign will bring the feeling of worries and responsibilities. Be diplomatic! Take a step back and appraise your situation before you act. On the work side of things this month will be professionally dynamic, you’ll be open toward change and surprises. Financially, March is not that easy for your sign. Collaborations and contracts could be reconsidered. This month there’s an accentuated stress on your health so you must be very careful: protect yourself, rest and don’t ignore the signs your body gives you! It might be time for a general health check-up. Scorpio, With the Sun, Mercury, Venus, and Neptune, plus a Sun eclipse, in your sign this month it’s going to be anything but quiet! Expect romance and possibly a new love. Actually, considering the fact that in March 2016 there’s an eclipse, you can expect anything. Careful, though, not to spend too much on your conquest! Love and money don’t agree with each other during this term. On the work and finance front until end of September 2016, money plays an important role in your preoccupations, making up in fact the main motivation of your career initiatives. You shouldn’t rush into financial decisions this month. Think wisely, ask for advice from experts! During this term, opportunity could arise when you least expect it. You’ll be feeling somewhat sluggish some days, but others you’ll enjoy being in excellent and exuberance that will amaze everyone around you.
Sagittarius, the first 5 days of March 2016 go by in a blur, things change slowly after that. On March 5th Mercury and Neptune come on to the scene. The combo could bring with it an error in judgment or confusion. Complications are more likely to might affect newer relationships. Old ones fair better you can channel your attention toward home, and family. On the work front it is all about communication and negotiation. Careful, though, because Mars is rash and conflict provoking! You should stay calm, measured, and diplomatic. With Mars’ entry in Sagittarius (March 5 2016) ambition is at the forefront of your mind bringing with it competitiveness and an increased interest in improving income and various financial pursuits. Mars brings you energy but it also exposes you to risk of accidents. Don’t be impulsive or act randomly! Be careful…
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At a school reunion...
Four ladies meet after thirty years at their High School Reunion. One goes to get some food while the other three start to talk about how successful their sons became. No. 1 says her son studied economics, became a banker and is so rich, he gave his best friend a Ferrari. No. 2 said her son became a pilot, started his own airline became so rich, he gave his best friend a jet.
he’s a pilot
No. 3 said her son became an engineer, started his own development company became so rich, he built his best friend a castle.
he’s a banker
he’s an engineer
No 4. came back with a plate full of food and asked what the buzz is about. They told her they were talking about how successful their sons became and asked her about her son. She said her son is gay and he works in a Gay Bar.
The other three said she must be very disappointed with her son for not becoming successful. "Oh no !! " said the Lady, he is doing good. "Last week on his birthday he got a Ferrari, a jet and a castle from three of his boyfriends...".
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puzzle Link The Words
Solutions on page 84
it out
In each of these puzzles, three words are listed. All you have to do is find another word that can either precede or follow each word linking them:
1)
____
3)
_____
2) 4) 5)
WIND
CLEANER DRAIN
___
HAND
SMOKE
FIGHT
____
FUNNY
CHINA
MARROW
_____
CRICKET LOOKING
STICK JAR
MAKER HOUSE
Guess The Celeb
A
B
Sudoku
Brain Teaser
THE FARMER DID IT!! In a village solely occupied by four farmers.
Farmer 1 runs a cattle farm Farmer 2 runs a pig farm Farmer 3 runs a chicken farm Farmer 4 runs a turkey farm
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One day farmer 4 disappears and each of the other three farmers are suspected with his murder, but the police cannont find his body. CCTV footage shows noone entering or leaving the village. What happened?
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Crossword
Across: 1. Without trace (6) 4. ----- butty (5) 8. Cubbyhole (5) 9. In sequence (7) 10. Raise up (7) 11. Usually in the foot (4) 12. Grain (3) 14. Drink (4) 15. Hit on the head (4) 18. Not working (3) 21. Mountains (4) 23. Sea creature (7) 25. Audrey (7) 26. Drug (5) 27. Measure of liquid (5) 28. Lay bare (6) Down: 1. Places (6) 2. Central (7) 3. Play, plot summary (8) 4. Corpse (4) 5. Luggage (5) 6. Unclothed (6) 7. Welsh coastline (5) 13. Sachet (8) 16. Look up to (7) 17. 15 minutes of fame (6) 19. Swoon (5) 20. Of the skin (6) 22. Glass tube (5) 24. Fool (4)
Name The Film
A Two women troubled with guy-problems B swap homes in each other's countries, where they each meet a local guy and fall in love (2006).
step step step step
The lives of guards on Death Row are affected by one of their charges: a black man accused of child murder and rape, yet who has a mysterious gift (1999).
Say What You See...
ppppp EARTH
IQ
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The Jokespage
Jokespage
A man is looking under his bonnet at the side of the road. A tramp walks by and asks, “trouble?” “Yeah,” says the man, “piston broke.” “Ah,” replies the tramp, “me too, mate me too.”
A husband and wife of advanced years were on a train taking them on holiday for the first time in years. “Oh god Arthur,” exclaimed the wife, “I’ve left the oven on!” “Don’t worry Doreen,” he replied, “the house won’t burn down, I left the bath running.”
Two brothers were in the garden having a peeing contest, trying to aim as high up the wall as possible. Their Mum appeared and shouted at them for messing up the side of the house and making the garden stink. The boys ran off and bumped into their father. He asked them what was going on, so they told him about their contest. Dad asked’ “what did your mother do when she found you?” “ She hit the roof,” replied the boys. “Blimey,” said their Dad, “did she win?”
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Lloyd goes into a chemist to buy some condoms. Unfortunately, he has a really sore throat can can’t ask the man behind the counter for his favourite brand. After much croaking and pointing, Lloyd is about to give up – then he has an idea. He undoes his trousers, takes out his man sausage and lays it on the counter with a €5 note. The Chemist says, “OK then,” does exactly the same thing. Then pockets both fivers and zips himself up again. Lloyd clearly angry, shakes his head and waves his hands. The chemist says, “It’s your own fault – if you’re not prepared to lose, you shouldn’t gamble.”
Two Irishmen were waiting at the bus stop, when a truck went past, loaded up with rolls of turf. Jimmy said, “I’m gonna do dat when I win da lottery.” “What's dat den?” asks Mikey. “Send me lawn away to be mowed."
A young boy was practicing spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: cat, dog, dad, and mum had been proudly displayed for all to see. One morning while getting ready for the day, he bounded into the room with his arms outstretched. In his hands were three magnetic letters: G-O-D. “Look what I spelled, Mum!” with a proud smile on his face. “That's wonderful!” his mum praised him. “Now go put them on the fridge so Dad can see when he gets home tonight.”The mum happily thought that her son's Catholic education was certainly having an impact. Just then, a little voice called from the kitchen: “Mum? How do you spell ‘zilla’?”
If you see a rabbit laying little brown eggs, don't eat them, it's not chocolate! Happy Easter Every Bunny!
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KIDS PAGE
Give Nick Some r Colou
What game d o fish like playi ng the most? Name that tu na
a What is avourite frog’s f nk? cold dri Cola Croaka-
d of What kin the id d rs lette his et from snake g ers? admir ters Fang let
Animal Tracks Draw a line from each animal to his/her print (answers below)
a
e
d c b
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Nick
Judy
Flash
Gazelle
Answers: A) Judy Hopps, B) Gazelle, C) Chief Bogo, D) Flash, E) Nick Wilde.
Chief Bongo
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WORDSEARCH
ur Judy s o e colo m ve Gi What do you call an eleph that never w ant ashe A smellypha s? nt
a What is urite o v a f rabbit's music? kind of Hip-hop
What a's is a llam e drink? favourit ade Llama-n
Can you help Flash find all the missing words‌
zo o t o p i a n ic k g a ze l le b f l ash o ng o
jud y
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puzzle Trivia Quiz Answers
1) Dublin 2) Butterfly 3) Three 4) On the side of a ship 5) Alan a Dale 6) The Rand 7) Wolf 8) Siam 9) Six 10) He is the only English Pope to date (Pope Adrian) 11) Caerphilly 12) Please, Please Me 13) April (23rd) 14) Herge (real name is Georges Remi) 15) Mt. McKinley 16) Sixty-Four 17) New York 18) Sarah 19) Hawaii 20) The Smiths 21) A Dog 22) Louise Brown 23) Graphite 24) June 25) Excalibur 26) Germany 27) Krypton 28) Eight 29) Nine 30) Delilah
Answers from 26, 74 & 75
it out
Link The Words 1) Pipe 2) Gun
3) Match 4) Bone
5) Glass
Guess The Celeb a) Len Goodman b) Gigi Hadid
Brain Teaser Solution: Farmer 2 did it. He killed him in the pig stable. Pigs can eat a dead human being, bones and all, leaving nothing.
Crossword Solution
Sudoku Solution
Name The Film
a) The Holiday (2006) b) The Green Mile (1999)
Say What You See 1) One Step Ahead
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2) Peace on Earth 3) High IQ
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