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May 2020 N°157
No1 MARBELLA
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Ed’s Note..
Another month of lockdown goes by and hopefully a glimmer of light is cracking through the tedium of being stuck indoors…. I have to say well done to the people who have kept up their fitness regime, I on the other hand have done nothing but look in the fridge and then eat biscuits all day everyday! I also want to say a MASSIVE THANK YOU to all the Medical staff who have helped us through these last months and to anyone who had to work and put themselves on the front line. It is a second (and hopefully last) on-line only magazine, but we hope to brighten your day a little! Dates for diary this month are a cheeky bank holiday on the 1st (I don’t need another day off) and Spanish Mothers day is on the 3rd Sounds good to me! We hope you enjoy the read, have a fantastic month..... Keep healthy, and safe and smiling!
in the May Magazine...
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A Women’s World! Mum’s the word, toilet training and flashing at the golf course...
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???
Solutions on page 80 Pit your brains against the TRIVIA QUIZ, questions for all ages from 6 -116!
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Geek out this month with the Gadget & Gizmo’s pages including: A robotic cat and the Google Pixelbook plus lots more...
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A Man’s World: We take a look back at the 1950’s to see how a woman would treat a man...
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‘All Revved Up’ on page 58. It seems that a number of manufacturers are looking to the past to sell new “old” cars we take a look at a few of the best...
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Due to Covid-19 there is no “What’s on Guide” this month.
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Email: info@costalinkmagazine.com
Website: www.costalinkmagazine.com Facebook: facebook.com/costa.link.spain Whatsapp: 663 061 669 or Tweet: @costa_link
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Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends in “The Kids Page” this month...
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The Business Directory... Can’t find that all important contact see page 76 to 79...
Solutions on page 80 Puzzle It Out... Puzzles galore challenge those little grey cells.
HOW TO CONTACT US Call: 951 666 715 or 663 061 669
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The Jokes Page: Laugh out loud or just get the giggles on page 72!!!
facebook.com/Costa.Link.Spain/
No part of this publication, including layout, graphic design or pictures may be copied, SCANNED, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. Costa Link Magazine accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by ourcontributors. All rights reserved © 2020. Deposito Legal: MA-228-2007.
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A Woman’s World
TOILET TRAINING... Tommy’s Mum is trying everything to toilet train him… When he goes to the bathroom, he manages to hit everything but the toilet. After two weeks of constant cleaning and bleaching, she has had enough, and takes Tommy to the doctor. After the examination, the doctor said, "His unit is too small. As a cure he suggests that an old wives' tale may work. Give him two slices of toast each morning, and his unit will grow so he can hold it and aim straight." The next morning Tommy jumped out of bed and ran downstairs to the kitchen. There on the table, are twelve slices of toast. "Mum!" Tommy yells. "The doctor said I only had to eat two slices of toast." "I know,” said his mother. "The other ten are for your father."
INTERESTING…
Still single & can’t figure out why...?
Madonna is 61, her boy friend is 25 Tina Turner is 80, hus band is 57 JLo is 50, her boyfriend is 44 Marian Carey is 50, her husband is 39 Still single??? Relax your boyfriend may be in school or maybe not even bor n yet!
Three Ladies are playing the fourth hole at a well-known golf course on the edge of Greenwood, when a naked man wearing a paper bag over his head jumps from the trees and runs across the green. The three ladies stand in awe at the size of his manhood. The first lady says, 'He is definitely not my husband. 'The second lady, gazes at his manhood and says, 'He is not mine either. 'After a very considered inspection, the third lady finally says, 'He's not even a member of this golf club’
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HOT GOSSIP...
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p i s s o G owbiz Sh
LOVE ISLAND PAST WINNERS: WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
Love Island 2020 is tipped to be filmed in a London villa with a massive location shake-up this year. ITV bosses are adamant they will be able to make the new season work, even if it means a huge shake-up in the schedule and more surprisingly, the location. Laura Whitmore will be fronting the show but Caroline Flack will be truly missed.
WHERE ARE THEY NOW...From Jessica Hayes and Max Morely, to Amber Gill and Greg O’Shea, the ITV2 show and that famous villa have produced some mega couples but sadly, not many of them have stayed together. Love Island winners 2015: Jessica Hayes and Max Morely They were the first winners of the new series and fans had high hopes for them both but sadly, just six weeks later, they revealed they split. Jess is now a mum to baby boy Presley who she had with boyfriend Dan Lawry. Max is also still living his best life travelling to exotic locations and was rumoured to be dating Laura Anderson, another Love Island contestant in early 2019.
Love Island winners 2016: Cara Delahoyde and Nathan Massey GOOD NEWS, they’re still together! Cara and Nathan briefly split after nine months of winning but during their break, Cara found out she was pregnant with the couple’s son, Freddie. The baby brought them closer together and now they’re married.
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Alcoholics Anonymous Our meetings along the Costa del Sol
are currently suspended because of the government lockdown Whether you are new to us or have been to a meeting before,
if you are struggling there is advice and support at the end of the phone For details regarding online meetings or to hear a friendly voice visit www.aacostadelsol.com Or call our helpline 600 379 110 Step into the sunshine - Alcoholics Anonymous
Call our HELPline 600 379 110 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS www.aacostadelsol.com
For Support And Information
HOT GOSSIP...
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p i s s o G owbiz Sh
LOVE ISLAND PAST WINNERS: WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
LOVE ISLAND WINNERS 2017: KEM CETINAY AND AMBER DAVIES: Everyone wanted these two to go the distance but sadly, after six months together outside of the villa, they announced their break up. They have both been highly successful since their time together. Kem is a regular presenter on ITV and has his own TV show with Chris Hughes and Amber is living her dream on stage in 9 to 5.
LOVE ISLAND WINNERS 2018: JACK FINCHAM AND DANI DYER They were the villa winners from the beginning as their cheeky romance had everyone predicting big things for them. After winning in 2017, they quickly moved in together and even bought a puppy. However, after six months, and many split rumours, Dani and Jack ended things for good. Since then, Jack has become a proud dad and Dani has been working hard alongside her dad and has also had some presenting gigs.
LOVE ISLAND WINNERS 2019: AMBER GILL AND GREG O'SHEA After surprising everyone by winning Love Island 2019 after only a few weeks of getting to know one another, it seems a fairytale ending wasn't meant to be for these two as they broke up just weeks after the final. But life is still good for both Amber and Gregg. Amber is now a brand ambassador for a huge fashion company and Greg is back to his rugby career. They're both also travelling the globe and posting loads of envious photos on Instagram.
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A young woman is shopping in the flea market for a new mirror. She stumbles upon a lovely mirror and asks the stall assistant about it. He replies, 'This isn't just any mirror but this is a magic mirror!' The woman is a bit overwhelmed and asks a bit more. The stall assistant replies, 'All you have to do for this baby to work is say, Mirror mirror on the door and something else that rhymes and it will come true.' The woman decides to buy the mirror and heads for home.
Mirror
She places the new mirror on the door and says...
mirror
'Mirror mirror on the door make my bust size 44!' All of a sudden her breasts become enormous! Her husband returns home from work. 'Gosh, what on earth has happened to you?!' He says all flustered and excited.
on the
'I bought this mirror from the market, if you say mirror mirror on the door and something that rhymes with it, it will happen!' She turns round and there he is legging it up the stairs frantically tugging at his trousers. He go’s to the bedroom and says....
door
'Mirror mirror on the door make my willy touch the floor!' Just then BANG.....His legs dropped off!
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WHO I AM...?
Can you work out “WHO I AM” from questions 1 to 10… 1) I was born on 9th April 1806 in Portsmouth, UK 2) I was only 53 when I died 3) I studied in the finest schools in England and France 4) I almost drowned on my first job under the Thames 5) I married Mary Horsley in 1836 and had three children 6) I designed the first transatlantic steamship 7) I also designed the Clifton Suspension Bridge 8) And Paddington Station 9) I am known for wearing a tall black top hat 10) My designs for construction are still used today
Answer on page 80
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BEWARE of this scam...
Over the last month I became a victim of an scam while out shopping. Simply dropping into Carrefour for a bit of shopping turned out to be quite traumatic.
This is how they work: Two good-looking 21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the boot. They both start cleaning your windscreen, their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a lift to another supermarket, in my case, Carrefour in Estepona. You agree and they both get in the backseat. On the way, they start undressing, and both get naked. When you pull over to remonstrate, one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over your lap, kissing you, touching you intimately and thrusting herself against you, while the other one steals your wallet. I had my wallet stolen on April 1st, 4th, 6th, 10th, 25th, twice yesterday and very likely again this coming weekend.
P.S. Aldi have wallets on sale for €1.99 each but Lidl's are €1.75 and look better.
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TRICKY TRIVIA QUIZ
1) Which star sign do 2 fishes represent? 2) If tachycardia is a fast heartbeat, what is tachypnea? 3) In which European country would you find the city of Strasbourg? 4) What is the technical term for the collarbone? 5) A sow is a female pig, what is a male pig called? 6) What ‘c’ is an infection of the intestine caused by drinking dirty water? 7) What ‘t’ is the name of a river that flows into another river rather than flowing into a sea or lake? 8) Who was God speaking to from the burning bush? 9) What were the names of Margo and Jerry Leadbetter’s neighbours in ‘The Good Life’? 10) Which 1970’s film starred
Angela Lansbury as a trainee witch? 11) Which two letters are worth the most in a game of Scrabble? 12) What is the name of the famous Spanish artist who was born in Malaga? 13) What is the name given to a young bear? 14) On which film is the musical High Society based? 15) What was Beyoncé first solo album called? 16) Who sang with Meatloaf on ‘Dead Ringer for Love’? 17) Which film starred lots of ghosts and a giant marshmallow man? 18) What colour jersey does the leader of the Tour de France? 19) Which chemical element can take the form of diamond or graphite? 20) What is the colour of the dot
on the fastest squash ball that is used in cold conditions? 21)A full size snooker table is 12 foot long, but how wide is it? 22) What is the longest river in the world? 23) In American Football, how many points are scored for a field goal? 24) What is the first book of the Bible? 25) Who was ‘Addicted to Love’ in the 1980’s? 26) Who told you to ‘Go West’ in the 1990’s? 27) Who was ‘Bad’ & ‘Dangerous’? 28) Who was the founder of Easyjet? 29) Who was the first woman to lead a political party? 30) Who wrote the stories about Peter Rabbit?
Answers on page 80
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The idea for the Guinness Book of World Records came out of an argument Sir Hugh Beaver, managing director of the Guinness Brewery, had on a hunting trip in the early 1950s. He wasn't able to find the answer to the fastest game bird in any reference book. Later, that inspired his plan for Guinness to do a promotion around a book that would settle pub arguments. That first book, written by Norris and Ross McWhirter, was published August 27, 1955.
1) MOST BIG MACS CONSUMED IN A LIFETIME Don Gorske holds the world record for "most Big Macs consumed"! He chomped his way into the record books after eating his 30,000th Big Mac. Gorske's love for Big Macs started more than 40 years ago when he ate his first one on May 17, 1972.
2) MOST APPLES HELD IN OWN MOUTH AND CUT BY CHAINSAW IN ONE MINUTE This illustrious honor (we want to know how many people were brave enough to actually compete for it) is held by London-based performance artist Johnny Strange. He established the record of eight apples in one minute in October 2013 in South Yorkshire, UK.
3) STRETCHIEST SKIN Garry Turner (UK) is able to stretch the skin of his stomach to a distended length of 15.8 cm (6.25 in) due to a rare medical condition called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, a disorder of the connective tissues affecting the skin, ligaments and internal organs.
4) KEEPING A TABLE LIFTED WITH TEETH Talk about strong choppers! Georges Christen from Luxembourg ran 38 feet and 8 inches while carrying a 26 pound table and a 110 pound woman sitting on it!
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5) LONGEST METAL COIL PASSED THROUGH THE NOSE AND OUT OF THE MOUTH Apparently, that's a real thing. And Andrew Stanton, a sideshow performer in Las Vegas, achieved the length of 11 feet, 10.91 inches in March 2012.
6) LONGEST FINGERNAILS EVER ON A WOMAN It took American Lee Redmond nearly 30 years to grown her nails out to the record-holding 28 feet, 4.5 inches in February 2008. The longest single nail was her right thumb, which reached to 2 feet, 11 inches. "I started to grow my nails in 1979 ... it was kind of a challenge to myself to see how far they would go before they started twisting out of shape," she said. Unfortunately, her nails snapped off in a 2009 car accident.
7) LARGEST COLLECTION OF RUBBER DUCKS The 2007 Guinness World Record for World's Largest Rubber Duck Collection stood at 2,583 unique rubber ducks, and was awarded to Charlotte Lee. A rubber duck is a toy shaped like a duck, and is generally yellow.
8)"STAR WARS" MEMORABILIA The Force is with Steve Sansweet in abundance. He's amassed an estimated 300,000 unique items at Rancho Obi-Wan in northern California. By May 4, 2014, he'd "only" accurately audited and catalogued 92,240 items still sufficient to beat the previous title holder many times over.
9) LONGEST MOUSTACHE The GuinnessWorld Records' record for the longest moustache measures 4.29 m (14 ft) and belongs to Ram Singh Chauhan (India). It was measured on the set of the Italian TV show "Lo Show dei Record" in Rome, Italy, on 4th March 2010.
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10) MOST PIERCINGS IN A LIFETIME After her first skin piercing in January 1997, Elaine Davidson was hooked. The Brazilian former restaurant owner has been pierced a total of 4,225 times. She is constantly adding and replacing jewelry, primarily on her face, but also likes adding tattoos and makeup.
11) LARGEST COLLECTION OF GARDEN GNOMES AND PIXIES Ann Atkin who lives in the UK has 2,042 gnomes and pixies, as of March 2011, all of which live in her 1.6-ha (4-acre) Gnome Reserve in West Putford, Devon, UK.
12) “GURNING" As my grandmother would say, "Be careful, or your face will freeze like that!" Anne Woods doesn't worry about that though, as the British woman has won the most world championships for gurning... 27 between 1977 and 2010.
13) LARGEST HAIRY FAMILY Spanning five generations in Mexico who all suffer from the rare condition called congenital generalized hypertrichosis. The condition is characterized by excessive facial & torso hair. On about 98% of the body.
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!4) LONGEST CAREER AS AN ICE CREAM MAN You all know that sound of summer but Allan Ganz has been hearing it for 67 years and counting. He started selling ice cream with his dad in 1947 at the age of 10 in Peabody, Massachusetts. Allan bought his own ice cream truck in 1977 and has sold ice cream in Massachusetts ever since.
15) OLDEST MALE STRIPPER Magic Mike had nothing on Bernie Barker. The American (a former real estate agent) got into stripping in 2000 at age 60, as a way to get in shape after overcoming prostate cancer. He won over 40 contests. Unfortunately, he died in 2007 at the age of 66.
16) LONGEST TONGUE ON A DOG Puggy, a Pekingese, possesses the longest licker on record at 4.5 inches. The measurement was taken at Avondale Haslet Animal Clinic, Texas, in May 2009, when he was 9 years old.
17) LONGEST LEGS Sorry, Giselle. Russian woman Svetlana Pankratova officially has the world's longest legs, measuring 51.9 inches (approximately a little over 4 feet) on July 8th, 2003.
18) MOST GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS Twenty-seven thousand jumping jacks, done in six hours and forty-five minutes, was Ashrita Furman's first record, in 1979. As of 2017, Furman has set more than 600 official Guinness Records and currently holds 226 records. His most recent record is 26 watermelons sliced on his stomach in one minute thus holding the Guinness world record for the most Guinness world records. He has been breaking records since 1979.
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Bob’s problem... The guys were all on Bob’s stag do. No one wanted to share a room with him, because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the entire weekend, so they voted to take turns. The first guy who’s turn it was to sleep in the same room as Bob came to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, 'Man, what happened to you? He said, 'Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night. ' The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing - hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot. They said, 'Man, what happened to you? You look awful!' He said, 'Man, that Bob shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night.' The third night it was Pete's turn. Pete was a big burly ex-Navy man; a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. ' Good morning,' he said. They couldn't believe it! They said, 'Man, what happened?' He said, 'Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Bob into bed, patted him on the bottom, and kissed him good night. Bob sat up and watched me all night.'
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SME
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including: • Free Domain name • 1 Complete Website • Choice of Designs • Hosting Included • 30GB Storage web: smeseoconsulting.com/web99/ email: colin@smeseoconsulting.com call: +34 652 264 670 every business large or small should have a website
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That blinking cat... A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him twenty streets from his home and leaving him at the park. As he arrived home, the cat was walking up the driveway. The next day he decided to drive the cat forty streets away. He put the beast out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there. Hours later the man calls home to his wife: “Jen, is the cat there?” “Yes,” the wife answers, “why do you ask?” Frustrated, the man answered, “Put that son of a b*tch on the phone, I'm lost and need directions!”
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GET NOTICED!
GET IN COSTA LINK for more information see: www.costalinkmagazine.com email: info@costalinkmagazine.com - TEL: 951 666 715 or 663 061 669
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MURDER at mercadona...
Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary and then arranging to have her killed. A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was €10,000. The husband said he was willing to pay that amount but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man emptied his pocket, displaying the single pound coin that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes and reluctantly agreed to accept the pound as down payment for the dirty deed. A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Mercadona supermarket. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well. However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras and observed by the shop's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the premises. Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested. The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared... 'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for €1.00 @ Mercadona - Oh, stop groaning! I don't write this stuff.
BOULEVARD DE LA CALA, LA CALA DE MIJAS The ONLY Bar in La Cala Serving Brewdog. (In Bottles & On Tap)
TEL: 951 542 656
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COSTALINKMAGAZINE©2018
ALSO SERVING FRESH FOOD & BAR SNACKS
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your MIND ownB
ol o P h it w a l il V d e h c Large Deta me o c In d n a e m o H l a e Id
Border of Mijas and Fuengirola - 680.000€ Plot Size 840Mľ and Build Size 475Mľ
Situated on The Border of Mijas and Fuengirola Campo Mijas, the villa is ideally placed for access to the beautiful village of Mijas whilst also being very accessible to Fuengirola. Currently arranged as owner’s accommodation with four bedrooms and 4 bathrooms. There is a self contained apartment with 4/5 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms and scope for a further self contained 1 bedroom apartment. The swimming pool is good size. This really is a very rare opportunity to purchase a property, which will provide a good income from day one.
www.business-sales-spain.com Telephone: 951 666 715 Mobile: 663 061 669 info@business-sales-spain.com
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BUSINESS BUSINESS SALES & Transfers
S A IJ M E D A L A C A L BARGAIN
Fantastic Café / Bar IN VERY CENTRAL LOCATION REDUCED TO 80.000€
•Refurbished to high standard & offered in excellent order •South facing terrace •Self contained apartment •Ready for new owner - businesses like these are rarely available in this very popular area
WANT TO SELL YOUR BUSINESS? WE URGENTLY NEED MORE BUSINESSES FOR SALE
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your MIND ownB
Advertising your business for s NO up front fees NO hidden charges
Freehold Self Storage Centre in Marbella 350.000€
Located in a central position in Marbella - Completely reformed / refurbished about a year ago and is a modern facility
Asian Supermarket Very Central Fuengirola - 79.950€
This really is a great opportunity to acquire a successful business that will start earning from day one
Hair and Beauty Salon in Marbella 15.000€
Well respected Hair and Beauty Salon Established over 10 Years in Very Central Location
Freehold Office In Mijas Costa - 210.000€
A lovely modern office and is ready to move into Well decorated and has a bright and spacious feel Around 45m2 and has a terrace outside of around 15m2
www.business-sales-spain.com Telephone: 951 666 715 Mobile: 663 061 669 info@business-sales-spain.com
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BUSINESS BUSINESS SALES & Transfers
s for sale in Spain and the UK NO advertising fees NO sale - NO fee
AV Installation Business & IPTV supplier - 45.000€ Established for over 12 years One of the foremost installers of high end TV and Hifi equipment Fitting out luxury homes, bars offices and businesses
Laundry Mijas Costa - 45.000€
Established laundry and dry cleaning business Has been in the same premises for over 30 years Very busy with a constant foot fall
Jeep Safari Tour Business - Marbella - 95.000€
A well established jeep safari business that was started 12 years ago The business has a Touristico Rural License which is extremely hard to obtain
Bed & Breakfast Hotel In Marbella - 1.500.000€ Beautiful detached villa hotel is located in Marbella and a few minutes away from Puerto Banus Ranked with 5 starts on tripadvisor
WANT TO SELL YOUR BUSINESS? WE URGENTLY NEED MORE BUSINESSES FOR SALE
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GADGETS &Gizmo’s The ATOS is constructed from wood strips on a felt mat; this designer tray/arm-rest combo in a choice of 19 colours is adaptable to most sofa arms and seats. There’s plenty of space for a drinking receptacle, and a slot for your phone.
MarsCat acts much like a real cat. It will respond to touch and your voice, meow, happily play with the bundled set of toys, and has a personality that develops the more you interact with it. The 700€ price tag is slightly cheaper than a lifetime of food and vet bills.
Dyson’s Lightcycle Morph lamp tracks natural daylight and dynamically adjusts its brightness and colour temperature accordingly. It can rotate 360 degrees to bounce around the room, while an ambient mode emits a subtle orange glow with reduced blue light. Three warm and three cool LEDs utilise Dyson’s energy-efficient Heat Pipe Tech, meaning it will last for 60 years.
Google are now selling the Pixelbook Go which at around 700€ sits firmly in the mid-range, but looks like top-end hardware. It weighs less than 2 pounds and is around 13mm thin; It's also capable of delivering up to 12 hours battery life on a single charge and has a touchscreen display and backlit keyboard. 40
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All the latest in the world of tech and gaming... Ikea have just launched the retro-inspired, 27-piece Frekvens collection a modular sound and light system aimed at the younger raver with prices starting from 6€.
Samsung’s latest smart home invention, the AirDresser is a wardrobe that uses jets of air to loosen and remove deeply ingrained dust from your favourite garments, a jet steam kills bacteria and a heat pump slowly dries, preventing unwanted shrinkage. There’s even a deodorising filter!
Nextbase’s new 622GW is not only capable of shooting stabilised 4K, or 1080p with 120fps – but its Emergency SOS mode also detects if you crash and uses what3words to send your location to the emergency services.
The Pentagram Yoto is a cute smart speaker for kids with smartcards to play child-friendly stories, music, games, podcasts, radio, and more.
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THE GOOD OLD DAYS!
A Man’s to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, World but•Listen the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first. This is an extract from a 1950’s home economics book, but it’s a brave man today who takes this home with expectations:
Remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours. •Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, and his very real need to be home and relax. • Your goal. Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. • Don’t complain if he’s home late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day. •Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low soothing and pleasant voice. • Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. A good wife always knows her place. •Don’t greet him with complaints and problems. Good luck if you expect any of these at home now! Maybe there was something to be said for the 1950’s wife...
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MINDyour ownBUSINESS BUSINESS SALES & Transfers
bars, restaurants & Cafés Torreblanca Seafront, FUENGIROLA
MIJAS COSTA,
Small Starter bar with terrace opposite the beach 14.950€ Ref: 2332
Lovely Café/Bar RECENTLY refurbished IN A fantastic position 25.000€ ref: 2360
Music Bar - very well known TOTALLING over 200 square meters 60.000€ ref: 2370
Fully Equipped Restaurant RECENTLY refurbished 55.000€ ref: 2272
Lovely Front-line Café/Bar an ideal turnkey bar 29.950€ ref: 2238
Very Large Versatile Member’s Club/ Nightclub 250.000€ ref: 2320
Fully Licensed and Recently Refurbished 110.000€ ref: 2330
Very Central - premises 145m2 Shisha Bar and Take Away 50.000€ ref: 2366
ESTEPONA CENTRE
Fuengirola PORT,
Cannabis Smoking/Social Club
Duquesa Port,
Marbella Centre,
ESTEPONA
www.business-sales-spain.com Telephone: 951 666 715 Mobile: 663 061 669 info@business-sales-spain.com
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2002
1986 1960 1966 2006
GUESS THE YEAR...
Can you work out “WHICH YEAR IT IS” from the following questions?
1) 25% of all cars that were sold in this year were electric 1918 2) Work begins on the first section of the New York subway 3) Puccini's opera Tosca premieres in Rome, Italy 4) In March a fire at Buckingham Palace destroys part of its roof 5) The Irish Guards are formed by Queen Victoria 6) At the movies you could have watched the 59” Shelock Holmes - Baffled, or the 2 minute flick: One-Man-Band (Comedy)! 7) Popular music this year included: Judy Garland - I'm Always Chasing Rainbows or Jere Mahoney, A Bird in a Gilded Cage 1975 8) The Cook Islands become a territory of the United Kingdom 2015 in October of this year 2004
1993
Answer on page 80
• Plants: Large & Small / Outdoor & Indoor • Furniture & Decoration • Pots & Planters • Weber BBQ’s
Tel: 952 581 247 www.viveroslavega.com administracion@viveroslavega.com 46
Camino Viejo de Coín, Km. 1.5 29651, Mijas Costa
Garden Centre
2000
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MEDICAL MAYHEM
Funny but true‌There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them. A market researcher calls at a house and his call was answered by a young woman with three small children running around her. He asked her if she minded replying to his questions and she agreed. He asked her if she knew his company, Cheeseborough-Ponds. When she said no, he mentioned that among their many products was Vaseline and she certainly knew of that product. When asked if she used it, the answer was "Yes." Asked how she used it, she said, "To assist sexual intercourse." The interviewer was amazed. He said, "I always ask that question because everyone uses our product and they always say they use it for the child's bicycle chain, or the gate hinge; but I know that most use it for sexual intercourse. Since you've been so frank, could you tell me exactly how you use it?" "Yes, we put it on the doorknob to keep the kids out."
Alzheimer's & Dementia Support Group La Cala de Mijas Lions are running an Alzheimer's and Dementia Support Group for English speakers in conjunction with Age Care and Medicare Calahonda International Baptist Church At 11.30-13.30 1st and 3rd Mondays
For more information contact Lesley: 635 407 255 Maggie: 629 893 016
Health & Well Being
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CUCUMBERS
Reasons to love cucumbers: They're hydrating and rich in vitamins. Applying slices directly to the skin allows phytochemicals in cucumbers to tighten collagen for a firm complexion. This can result in an almost-instant reduction of cellulite appearance.
GELATIN
HOW TO GET RID OF CELLUITE
LOOKED AT YOUR BOTTOM AND FOUND AAARRRRRGGGHHHH CELLUITE!
There's no miracle cure for GETTING RID OF IT but lifestyle changes may help... Here are some Weird Treatments for Cellulite That Actually Work... Goodbye, and good riddance! Ah, the C word. Cellulite is nothing to be ashamed of because let’s face it: Most of us have it. Seriously, it's believed to occur in roughly 90% of post-adolescent females. A number of variables factor into the development of the unappealing dimpling, but none of that matters when you just want it to go away. These four remedies for cellulite may seem weird, but they're actually pretty effective.
Consuming gelatin (which isn't packed with sugar) has lots of health and body benefits, but it's incredibly efficient in increasing collagen production. Gelatin powder can be found at any supermarket and health food shops just mix it into your favorite drink once daily to counteract collagen deficiency, COFFEE SCRUB which is partly to blame for cellulite Caffeine dilates blood vessels, in the first place. And yes, JELLY which tightens the outer tissues of counts, although maybe not when the skin. Used on skin, it also lets it’s in a triffle... your body release toxins and metabolize fat. Making your own coffee BODY BRUSHING scrub is super simple… just comDaily body brushing and massaging bine unused grounds with some of can jumpstart lymphatic drainage, your favorite skin oils like almond or which helps to eliminate toxins that olive and you're done! can accumulate in the fat layer, SEAWEED BATHS leading to inflammation and ultiThalassotherapy is a French skin- mately more pronounced cellulite. care treatment that involves apply- Pro tip: Dry brushing requires dry ing hot water and seaweed to the skin, so it’s best to try it before you skin either in the form of a bath or a jump in the showe don’t forget to "wrap." Seaweed has a high volume slather on a creamy moisturiser of iodine, which increases thyroid when you’re done. function and local circulation of blood flow to minimize cellulite. 48
SMOOTH ON A SERUM
Serums and topical creams can help reduce the look of cellulite, but you definitely shouldn’t expect any miracles. At best, they can help strengthen your skin, making your cellulite a little less noticeable. Biotherm Celluli Eraser, which is formulated with caffeine and coralline extract, a marine algae extract that helps minimize fat cells.
HYDRATE
I know, I know drinking water sounds like such a basic solution, but if you want to minimize the appearance of cellulite, you need plenty of H2O. Dehydration can cause the skin to become thinner and weaken, and when the skin is thin, it tends to show cellulite more.
EAT A HEALTHY DIET
Your diet isn’t solely responsible for whether or not you have cellulite but watching your sodium intake and eating plenty of fiber and whole grain foods they help remove waste and toxins from your intestinal tract.
CHECK OUT... our website www.costalinkmagazine.com for more health & wellbeing features
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UROLOGY SERVICES
Mr Laurence Stewart MD FRCS Ed FRCS(Urol) Consultant Urologist Laurence Stewart is one of Scotland’s most experienced Consultant Urologists. He is an international speaker and author in his field and is involved in ongoing education of Urologists in the UK. He has a wealth of experience over his 34 years in the NHS and has been a visiting urologist to Gibraltar for the last six years and is now offering his services on the Costa.
Clinica Premium Marbella Address: San Juan Bosco, No 8, Marbella, Malaga, 29602 Phone: 952 865 865 or 660 333 030
Clinica HumanLine – Sotogrande Address: Centro Comercial Sotomarket, A7, km 130, 11310 Sotogrande, Cádiz, Phone: 956 78 53 33
Specialist Medical Clinic Address: Unit F7, 1st Floor, ICC Building, Casements Square, Main Street, Gibraltar Phone: (+350) 200 49999 costalinkmagazine©2019
Is your business feeling slightly under the weather...? Have you got a lack of clients, customers or patients? Why not give us a call? We have affordable, realistic advertising rates, meaning the same businesses advertise year after year...
t: 951 666 715 m: 663 061 669 email: info@costalinkmagazine.com web: www.costalinkmagazine.com
Medical Tips
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CORONAVIRUS (COVID 19) SYMPTOMS...
WHAT IS COVID-19?
It is caused by a member of the coronavirus family that has never been encountered before. Like other coronaviruses, it has transferred to humans from animals. The World Health Organisation (WHO) has declared it a pandemic.
HOW TO TAKE PROTECTIVE MEASURES
REGULARLY AND THOROUGHLY CLEAN YOUR HANDS WITH AN ALCOHOL-BASED HAND RUB OR WASH THEM WITH SOAP AND WATER. Why? Washing your hands with soap and water or using alcohol-based hand rub kills viruses that may be on your hands.
WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMS?
According to the WHO, the most common symptoms of Covid-19 are fever, tiredness and a dry cough. Some patients may also have a runny nose, sore throat, nasal congestion and aches and pains or diarrhoea. About 80% of people who get Covid19 experience a mild case about as serious as a regular cold and recover without needing any special treatment.
About one in six people, the WHO says, become seriously ill. The elderly and people with underlying medical problems like high blood pressure, heart problems or diabetes, or chronic respiratory conditions, are at a greater risk of serious illness from Covid-19. THE SPECIFIC SYMPTOMS TO LOOK FOR AS EXPERIENCING EITHER: •A HIGH TEMPERATURE
YOU FEEL HOT TO TOUCH ON YOUR CHEST OR BACK
•A NEW CONTINUOUS COUGH
THIS MEANS YOU’VE STARTED COUGHING REPEATEDLY
•TIREDNESS
UNUSUAL FATIGUE
•LOSS OF SMELL OR TASTE •DIFFICULTY BREATHING IN SEVERE CASES
AS THIS IS VIRAL PNEUMONIA...
Antibiotics are of no use. The antiviral drugs we have against flu will not work, and there is currently no vaccine. Recovery depends on the strength of the immune system.
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MAINTAIN AT LEAST A 2 METRE DISTANCE BETWEEN YOURSELF AND ANYONE WHO IS COUGHING OR SNEEZING.
Why? When someone coughs or sneezes they spray small liquid droplets from their nose or mouth which may contain virus. If you are too close, you can breathe in the droplets, including the COVID-19 virus if the person coughing has the disease.
AVOID TOUCHING EYES, NOSE AND MOUTH.
Why? Hands touch many surfaces and can pick up viruses. Once contaminated, hands can transfer the virus to your eyes, nose or mouth. From there, the virus can enter your body and can make you sick.
MAKE SURE YOU, AND THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU, FOLLOW GOOD RESPIRATORY HYGIENE. THIS MEANS COVERING YOUR MOUTH AND NOSE WITH YOUR BENT ELBOW OR TISSUE WHEN YOU COUGH OR SNEEZE. THEN DISPOSE OF THE USED TISSUE IMMEDIATELY.
Why? Droplets spread virus. By following good respiratory hygiene you protect the people around you from viruses such as cold, flu and COVID-19.
STAY HOME IF YOU FEEL UNWELL. IF YOU HAVE A FEVER, COUGH AND DIFFICULTY BREATHING, SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION AND CALL IN ADVANCE. FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS OF YOUR LOCAL HEALTH AUTHORITY. Why? This will also protect you and help prevent spread of viruses and other infections.
KEEP UP TO DATE ON THE LATEST COVID-19 HOTSPOTS (CITIES OR LOCAL AREAS WHERE COVID-19 IS SPREADING WIDELY). IF POSSIBLE, AVOID TRAVELING TO PLACES ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE AN OLDER PERSON OR HAVE DIABETES, HEART OR LUNG DISEASE. Why? You have a higher chance of catching COVID-19 in one of these areas.
CHECK OUT... Our website at www.costalinkmagazine.com for lots more Medical Tips!
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THE ENGLISH DENTAL PRACTICE Dr. Alex McCubbin
Susana Lucena - Hygienist GENTLE IMPLANTS
• No cutting • No scalpels • No bleeding • No sutures • No swelling • No pain
With over 20 years of experience in Implant Surgery, Alex is probably the most experienced Implant Dental Surgeon on the coast. Using his experience in conjunction with the wonderful minimally invasive technique, he is able to place almost all implants with - NO SURGERY and NO PAIN. The implant is placed very quickly using normal local anaesthetic, so you have minimal discomfort - no worse than having a filling! Subsequent treatment (impressions, fitting the post and crown) require no local anaesthetic. This very gentle procedure allows placement of implants without the need for building new bone in most cases. If bone augmentation is required this can be done in almost all cases WITHOUT CUTTING THE GUMS.
Tel: 952 466 056 Edif. Don Marcelo, Bajo. Local 2D www.englishdentalpractice.com
Avda. Jesús Santos Rein, 10 info@englishdentalpractice.com Fuengirola 29640 Málaga.
Edif. Don Marcelo, Bajo. Local 2D Avda. Jesús Santos Rein, 10 Fuengirola 29640 Málaga.
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Inland and the Coast - We Care. We’re Medicare.
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••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• ŶƵƌƐĞ ůĞĚ ƐĞƌǀŝĐĞ ƉƌŽǀŝĚŝŶŐ ĂŶ ŝŶŶŽǀĂƟǀĞ ĂŶĚ ŚŽůŝƐƟĐ ĂƉƉƌŽĂĐŚ ƚŽ ŚĞĂůƚŚĐĂƌĞ ƚŚĂƚ ďƌŝŶŐƐ ƚŚĞ ǀĂůƵĞƐ ĂŶĚ ƉƌĂĐƟĐĞƐ ŽĨ Ă ƌŝƟƐŚ ,ĞĂůƚŚ ĞŶƚƌĞ ƚŽ ƚŚĞ ŽƐƚĂ ĚĞů ^Žů ĞŶĂďůŝŶŐ LJŽƵƌ ĂĐĐĞƐƐ ƚŽ Ă ĨĂŵŝůŝĂƌ ƐĞƌǀŝĐĞ͘
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Stran
Strange Strangebuttrue...
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THESE STRANGE BUT TRUE FACTS WILL REALLY SURPRISE YOU...
• In 1999, Havard physicist Lene Hau was able to slow down light to 17 meters per second and in 2001, was able to stop light completely. • At an Amazon.com warehouse in Pennsylvania, workers were required to work, in some cases walking 15 miles a day in 100+ degree heat. When the news broke, Amazon’s initial response was to keep and ambulance outside the warehouse. • In 1965 a ‘grossly obese’ man survived without eating for 1 year and 17 days. He lived entirely off his copious body fat except some yeast in the beginning, multivitamins and then some potassium from around day 100. He ended up losing 125kg of weight with no adverse effect. He only pooped every 40-50 days! • In the 1960’s, a soviet doctor named Leonid Ivanovich Rogozov had to remove his own appendix after it burst because he was the only doctor stationed in a remote Antarctic facility with no
option for evacuation. The operation lasted one hour and 45 minutes and he lived to tell the tale. • Early in her career Mila Kunis, who emigrated from the Ukraine, auditioned to play a Russian Jewish girl who moves to America. Instead, she was cast as a Mexican. She is both Russian and Jewish. • A coal power station puts 100 times more radiation into the air than a nuclear power plant producing the same amount of energy. • Carrots are bad for rabbits in large quantities and the misconception started with the popularity of Bugs Bunny cartoon. • In 2006, the FBI planted a spy named Craig Monteilh in a Southern Californian mosque and disguised him as a radical Muslim, The Muslims in the mosque ended up reporting him to the FBI for being a potentially dangerous extremist.
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HERBY SPRING CHICKEN POT PIE Minimise your washing-up with this delicious one-pan chicken pie with spinach and herbs and topped with crispy filo pastry!
Ingredients:
• 2 tbsp olive oil,
a little extra for brushing over the pastry
• Bunch spring onions sliced into 3cm pieces
• 250g frozen spinach
• 6 cooked chicken thighs
• 350ml hot chicken stock
• ½ tbsp wholegrain mustard
• 200g frozen peas
• 200ml half-fat crème fraîche • ½ small bunch tarragon leaves finely chopped
• Small bunch parsley finely chopped
• 270g pack filo pastry
2) Stir in the peas, crème fraîche and herbs, then remove 1) Heat oven to 200C/180C fan/gas 6. from the heat. Scrunch the filo pastry sheets over the Heat the oil in a large, shallow casserole dish on a medi- mixture, brush with a little oil and bake for 15-20 mins or um heat. Add the spring onions and fry for 3 mins, then until golden brown. stir through the frozen spinach and cook for 2 mins or until it’s starting to wilt. Remove the skin from the chicken and discard. Shred the chicken off the bone and into the pan, and discard the bones. Stir through the stock and mustard. Bring to a simmer and cook, uncovered, for 5-10 mins.
Method:
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Give Us A Call: 951 254 222 or 663 061 669 Email: info@costalinkmagazine.com
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ALL REVVED UP
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NEW OLD CARS
It seems that a number of manufacturers are looking to the past to sell new “old” cars.
Alvis built its last car in 1967 and re-immerged last year with a range of newly built classics all identical to the originals - The Graber, The Bertelli (pictured), The Lancefield, The Park Ward and the Vanden Plas. They all have Alvis chassis and engine numbers yet they are fully street-legal each cost approximately 300.000€ and they are limited to 25 examples of each model. David Brown Automotive spends approximately 1000 hours turning a donor Mini from the late 1970s or the early 1980s into a completely bespoke vehicle. Upgrades include a de-seamed body, modern lighting, LED gauges, a touch screen, British leather upholstery and keyless entry. The car comes with a 71hp 1275cc four-cylinder or 1330cc with 80hp. Built as a test mule for Goodyear, Shelby’s GT500 Super Snake never reached production – until now. Shelby American are building 10 examples of the experimental Mustang almost identical to the prototype built by Shelby in 1967 for Goodyear’s high-speed tests. Each one uses a 7.0-liter V8 engine that makes 550hp (20 more than the original car. Pricing for a hand-built, 1967-turned2018 Shelby Mustang GT500 Super Snake starts at US$250,000 (about £186,000).
The SCR 2018 is built as a tribute to the original SCR that based on the Porsche 964, but no parts are shared with the 964 in the new model, as the body and chassis are bespoke Ruf items and includes a retractable spoiler. It is powered by a rear-mounted, water cooled 4.0 litre flat-six engine, used in the 996 and 997 GT3 producing 503 bhp and can reach a top speed of 199 mph (320 kmh). 15 SCRs are planned per year starting in 2019 at a price of €650,000.
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Aston Martin Works are producing a series of 25 DB4 G.T. Each is made in approximately 4500 hours to lightweight specification with safety features such as a roll cage and a racing harness. It is for track use only, and comes with a two-year driving program for owners to participate in. Alternatively, they’re able to enter the car in select historic racing events. The modern-day DB4 G.T. costs 1.75 million Euros.
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ocal Info Emergency Numbers
---
Central number for Fire, Police & Ambulance National Police Local Police Guardia Civil
Medical
dica
112 091 092 062
Emergency 061 Ambulance Marbella 902 505 061 Ambulance Coin 952 453 267
Train Timetables 902 240 202
Health Centres
Airports Malaga 952 048 844
Marbella 952 769 946
Gibraltar +350 200 12345
Coin 952 452 767 San Pedro 952 787 700
Town Halls
Marbella 952 761 100 San Pedro 952 453 020 La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208 Fuengirola 952 589 300 Estepona 952 801 100
Fire Brigade
Emergency number 080 Marbella 952 774 349 Estepona 952 804 483 Fuengirola 952 461 046
Consulates
British Ireland Denmark Sweden Germany France U.S.A
952 952 952 952 952 952 952
Marbella Coin Estepona Fuengirola San Pedro
952 771 442 952 822 818 952 822 818 952 467 457
352 475 226 604 212 226 474
300 108 373 383 442 590 891
Tourist Information
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Transport
Bus Stations Marbella 952 764 400 Coin 952 450 366 San Pedro 952 781 396 Estepona 952 800249 For a list of complete times www.andalucia.com/travel/bus
952 785 252
Markets
Monday - Marbella (fairground site on east side) Tuesday - Fuengirola (fairground near Los Boliches) Wednesday -Estepona (Avda. Juan Carlos) La Cala - Feria ground. Thursday - San Pedro (Recinto Ferial) Calypso (Mijas Costa). Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama) Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano Pineda), Nueva Andalucia (Next to Centro Plaza the Bullring) and La Cala - Feria ground Sunday - Puerto Estepona (Marina)
Cinemas
All the Cinemas listed below show films in English as well as Spanish. Call first to check what is showing that week. Marbella: Cinesur Plaza del Mar 952 766 941 La CaĂąada 902 333 231 Puerto Banus: Gran Marbella 952 810 077 Coin: La Trocha 951 315 039
Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221 622
Chemists
24 Hour Chemist Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz Km 194. Marbella. Tel: 952 83 25 89
Taxis
Marbella Taxis 952 774 488 Mijas Costa Taxis 952 476 593
Diary Dates
1st May 2020: Labour Day, May Day (Public holiday throughout Spain) 3rd May 2020: Spanish Mothers Day
6th May 2020: May Day (Early May Bank Holiday, UK) 27th May 2020: Spring Bank Holiday (UK)
check out our website www.costalinkmagazine.com for cinema listings in VOSE
May 2020 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 01/05/20 10:21 am Page 65
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S TA R S I GN S
A look at what's in store for you during May 2020...
Capricorn
December 22nd January 19th
Aquarius
January 20th February 18th
Pisces
February 19th March 20th
Aries
March 21st April 19th
Taurus
April 20th May 20th
Gemini May 21st June 20th
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Capricorn, loved ones might think you a little selfish this month the fact that you only care about yourself; that you put too many limits in the way of your loved one. But the fact is that you’re more confused and closed off. You should avoid any kind of decisive measures in regard to your love life this month. You work a lot and with pleasure this month, even if things tend to stagnate from a material standpoint. Until May 21st 2020 financial speculation should be avoided, particularly if you’re handling other people’s money. Around middle of May 2020 there might be family or kids-related expenses and you could feel under pressure, stressed-out. Avoid getting worked up and take things as they come! You accumulate frustrations and tensions, and they can blow up in an unexpected and destructive way or cause you health issues. Why not take up activities that will help you feel relaxed and happy. Aquarius, the first two weeks of May 2020 are marked by communication issues on the home front. You seem to be fighting more often, and money can be a touchy subject. Things lighten up after May 21st, when the Sun enters your sign love, flirting, and romance and filling your thoughts again. The success you have at attracting potential mates is exciting this month, if you’re single. With regard to money you should draw the line and add things up, revise your aspirations for the future. During the last days of the month you’re more challenged at work, when the bosses decide to test your knowledge and abilities and give you more work. However difficult it might seem, it’s your opportunity to stand out and prove that you can meet their expectations. You’re in much better shape after May 16th, the stars give you energy and drive. Pisces, money is still the sensitive topic on the home front during May 2020. You might feel like it’s impossible to reach an agreement with your partner. In order to re-establish the harmony in your love life, you need a lot of tact, patience, and an open mind when it comes to what your spouse wants. The last weeks are favorable if you are single or have been trying for some time to win someone’s heart. Your feelings will be returned. At the end of May 2020 you can even make plans for marriage, but the date won’t be set as soon as you’d like it. Your material situation depends a lot on your ability to cooperate with a group, get involved in joint projects. Maybe you’re too attached to your views on the world and life and how things should be done. You’re not in the best shape and a series of aches and pains might pop up again, you’ll start feeling more vitalized toward the end of the month. Aries, during May 2020 you are going to become a social butterfly, which contributes to helping all you single Arians find a mate easily! You’re a smooth talker, persuasive, and can get anyone under your spell. You might fall prey to a fast talker, so be on your guard. You may connect with a love from your youth or start a with a childhood friend. May 2020 ends on an intense note you are feeling limited or trapped. But you find a way to reach an agreement with your better half. With regards to work and money, you might come to realise at some point that you’re kidding yourself as far as money is concerned. May 2020 could come with a raise, or good news related to money. After May 20th of the month try to save up some or ask for advice someone who’s experienced in order to invest wisely. During May you have a lot of energy, take some vitamins and give yourself enough time to rest.
Taurus, in May 2020 you have to be very tactful in order to keep afloat your relationship or marriage. If you insist on getting your own way, tensions may rise progressively. Luckily, reconciliations can be particularly passionate! Starting on May 13th, you enjoy flirtations; it’s a great time to get out there if you are single… With Mercury in your sign this month things related to money aren’t that clear and it might be best go be careful what you do with the resources that you do have. It’s not time to make grand plans and you should be cautious instead, because you’re more predisposed to loss through carelessness. As far as career is concerned, things tend to stagnate during the first half of the month and it would best to re-evaluate your goals, aims, the direction you want to take your life in. You should be as active as possible this month and avoid worrying about everything.
Gemini, Venus is in your sign until May 19th 2020, so LOVE, LOVE, LOVE is on your mind. Your thirst for flirting could also be misunderstood if you’re married, and you risk being called out on your flighty ways. Temptations are significant this month, including extramarital affairs; but you shouldn’t risk it because the stars are saying you’ll be caught. Money could also be a point of contention in your relationship. You’re given limitations, but this is how you can conclude if you build your relationships on a solid basis or not. On the work front at the beginning of May 2020 you should assume that those who gossip with you also gossip about you. It would be best to be discreet. Certain benefits that you’re impatiently waiting for could be delayed, so you should manage with what you already have. On May 21st 2020, the Sun enters Gemini and your vitality improves.
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Cancer June 21st July 22nd
Leo
July 23rd August 22nd
Virgo
August 23rd September 22nd
Libra
September 23rd October 22nd
Scorpio
October 23rd November 21st
Sagittarius
November 22nd December 21st
Cancer, with Jupiter is in a retrograde motion through your sign this month; unfortunately it means you can’t expect miraculous outcomes when it comes to your love life. Be patient, persevere and don’t get stuck in the past! Until May 16th 2020, Mars, Saturn and Pluto are muddying the waters and pushing to getting more involved, taking on more responsibilities, and acting like a grownup. If you begin to feel suffocated ask for a break! On the work front you might make notable progress in your professional life. Opportunities to sign new contracts arise or to attract new clients or partners. At the beginning of May, money isn’t as good as you might want on the 14th things start to improve and extra income may come your way. But you should be careful about expenses. Leo, in the beginning of May you don’t seem to have enough time for your loved ones or taking care of your responsibilities. It’s important to prove through your actions that you’re committed; that you’re willing to make an effort. You may tend to choose to breakup or you may experience a sudden separation, during the second week of the month. With the Sun and Venus in your sign this month you have every chance to become very visible, stand out, reap the benefits of what you sowed before. You may get promoted and open new paths towards future success. Even things related to money improve visibly. You’ll be very likely to have to do all that on your own though, because for the moment you can’t rely on others. Your efforts that this month may exhaust you if you don’t set a clear schedule for unwinding and resting, try relaxing when you can. Virgo, relationships are murkier and maybe turbulent for the first half of the month. You can jump very quickly from lack of trust, suspicion and jealousy. Some of you dream about making a relationship official, but it’s not a good time to make such decisions. In fact, it’s difficult for things to go smoothly, because Jupiter and Saturn are in apparent retrograde motion. You should resist the tendency toward niggling and fighting. On May 19th Venus your sign favouring a more active social life, making friends maybe even a romance with someone who you’ve been friends with until now. Venus brings you significant income through work during the first part of the month. Also, due to professional achievements you could become famous or get public attention. Steer clear of useless money-related risks, pay your debts, and be more tactful at work! A series of older afflictions could resurface. Libra your love life is agitated during May 2020, there could be many unexpected changes and plot twists. If you’re single, look out for love until the 16th of the month you can now easily find a partner, but you should be careful because you might attract someone who’s already committed. You’re very concerned with finding ways to improve your income but during the first week of May 2020 you tend to have illusions and unrealistic estimates of potential gains. Money doesn’t come your way easily but it does come your way in the end. You have better odds at standing out at work, getting noticed or promoted beyond your expectations. Be careful not to let your head swell! Your personal life may cause stress that can have repercussions on your health. Luckily, you get support from where you least expect it.
Scorpio, during May 2020 your main concern is love and romance. It’s time to pour your heart out to your other half. It’s possible you’ll talk about marriage, renewing commitments the wellbeing of the relationship. The end of the month is favorable for Scorpions who are only looking for new relationships. Throughout May 2020 professional development and earning money rely heavily on partnerships or joint investments. If you don’t know how to correctly manage money you risk it slipping between your fingers. Your ability to focus grows after May 18th and leads you to wise money-related decisions and good business. During the first half of May 2020 you’re energetic, sociable, and confident. But agitation and the predisposition toward excess from middle of the month can exhaust you. Spend more time at home in order to recharge your batteries. Sagittarius, May 2020 is very good month of all to do with love. It’s a good time to express your feelings for someone, to initiate a first contact or confess your love. If you’re single, you could meet someone interesting who could make you dream about marriage; someone together with whom you’d feel like life is truly an adventure. It seems that money is giving you trouble lately, and managing it is getting tougher and tougher. May 2020 brings a series of tests of your maturity when it comes to income and efficiently managing resources. Certain sums might get to you with delay or you could get only part of what you’re owed. You have great professional ambitions this month, but you tend to take unnecessary risks when looking for simple solutions. Older health issues might pop up again and you should pay them due attention.
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puzzle
Solutions on page 80
it out
Anger Inducing Anagrams
Can you work out the names of these TV Sitcom’s from the following anagrams? The word lengths are shown in brackets.
1)
___________
2)
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ENTER THE NEWBIES (3,12)
3)
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ THE BORED AFFAIRS (5,2,1,7)
4)
_____ ___ ______
5)
___
_____ ___
MENU DOUBTER (11)
ADVANCING YEAST (5,3,6)
TOUTING GOON (3,5,3)
Guess The Celeb
A
B
Sudoku
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Tricky Brain Teaser
The Prisoners Hats: You are in prison with Barry & Albert. The 3 of you are in a line looking straight ahead. You’re in front, then Barry, then Albert. A guard has 3 black & 2 white hats. He randomly puts one on each of your heads. Albert can see your hat and Barry’s, Barry can see yours, and you can see no one’s. None of you know what colour you have on your own head. The guard says, “if anyone call tell me 100% certainty the colour of your own hat, uttering no one else’s, you may all go free.” He tells Albert to answer first. Albert is a very honest and intelligent person, but he says, “I don’t know, there’s no way of knowing for sure.” The guard then asks Barry. Barry is also intelligent and rational, but he also cannot tell. He comes to you, and you say the colour of your hat with 100% certainty. The guard has no choice but to release all 3 of you. What colour hat were you wearing and how did you know?
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Crossword
Across:
1. Played at international level (6) 4. It could be wide or silver (6) 9. Twosome (3) 10. Breed of cat (7) 11. Clear, plain (7) 12. Final sum (5) 13. Wading bird (5) 15. Mourning (5) 20. Granny Smith for example (5) 22. _____ Oyster is a hangover cure (7) 24. Pardon you from your sins (7) 25. Slang for diamonds (3) 26. Followed an eating plan (6) 27. Put on a show (6)
Down:
1. Scrounges (6) 2. Pledge (7) 3. Follow on as a result (5) 5. Roman town in North of England (7) 6. Apply force or influence (5) 7. Stinging plant (6) 8. Irritable (5) 14. Supervise (7) 16. Piece of jewellery (7) 17. Limited to a certain sum (6) 18. Witch's hex/charm (5) 19. Fight off attack (6) 21. Stage in development (5) 23. Spy or representative (5)
Name The Film
A Steven
Spielberg directs this 1982 classic. A troubled child summons the courage to help a friendly alien escape Earth and return to his home-world.
B
Based on a true story. Paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren work to help a family terrorized by a dark presence in their farmhouse. (2013)
Say What You See...
BANK
CRYCRYCRY
aallll
daeh ii ym
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The Jokespage
Jokespage
An 8-year-old girl asks her father, "Daddy, what is sex?" The father is somewhat surprised that she would ask such a question. But, he reckons if she's old enough to ask the question, then surely she's old enough for a straight answer. So, the father proceeds to tell his young daughter all about the "birds and the bees." After a brief explanation, the little girl appears wide-eyed in disbelief. "By the way, dear, why do you ask?" the father asks. The little girl replies, "Mommy told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs."
Three men were trekking through the desert and came across a magician. The magician was standing at the top of a slide. The magician than said, ''You may each go down the slide, asking for a drink. When you reach the bottom of the slide you shall land a a huge glass of that drink. The first man went down yelling, ''Beerrr!!!'' Plop! He landed in a glass of beer.
The second guy went down the slide yelling,''lemonadeee!!!'' Plop! He landed in a glass of lemonade. The third guy went down the slide yelling ''wheeeeeeeee!!!'''
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The 8th grade science teacher, Mrs Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?” No one answered until little Mary stood up angrily and said, “You should not be asking eighth-graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!” With a sneer on her face, she then sat back down. Mrs Parks ignored her and asked the question again:
“Which body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?” Little Mary's mouth fell open. She said to those around her, “Boy is she going to get in big trouble!” The teacher continued to ignore her and asked the class, “Anybody?” Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and replied, 'The pupil of the eye.” “Very good, Billy,” said Mrs Parks. Then, turning to Mary, she said “As for you, young lady, I have three things to say. One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn't read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.” When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her four year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. “Yes,” he said. “I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we’re going to call it Quits.”
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puzzle Who Am I?
Isambard Kingdom Brunel
Guess the Year 1900
Trivia Quiz Answers
1) Pisces 2) Fast breathing 3) France 4) Clavicle 5) Boar 6) Cholera 7) Tributary 8) Moses 9) Tom and Barbara Good 10) Bedknobs and Broomsticks 11) Q and Z 12) Pablo Picasso 13) A Cub 14) Philadelphia Story 15) Dangerously in Love (2003) 16) Cher 17) Ghostbusters 18) Yellow 19) Carbon 20) Blue 21) 6 feet 1 inch 22) Nile 23) 3 24) Genesis 25) Robert Palmer 26) Pet Shop Boys 27) Michael Jackson 28) Stelios Haji-Ioannou 29) Margaret Thatcher 30) Beatrix Potter
Answers from 18, 24, 46 70 & 71
it out
Anger Making Anagrams
1) Outnumbered 2) The Inbetweeners 3) Birds of a Feather 4) Gavin and Stacey 5)Not Going Out
Guess The Celeb a) Ricky Gervais b) Fearne Cotton
Brain Teaser
The Prisoners Hats – Answer… You are wearing a Black hat. To solve this brainteaser you have to think about what the other men couldn’t see.Albert could not have seen 2 white hats, or he would have known that his hat was black. Albert either saw a black and white hat or black and black hat so he had no certainty which colour he was wearing himself. Hearing Albert & knowing he could not have seen 2 white hats, the only way for Barry to have certainty is if he sees a white hat in front so he knows his own is black. However, Barry was also unsure, meaning you must be wearing a black hat.
Crossword Solution
Sudoku Solution
Name The Film
a) E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982) b) The Conjuring (2013)
Say What You See
1) Cry all the way to the bank 2) All in All
80
3) Eyes in the back of my head
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