Costa Link Magazine November 2011

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www.costalinkmagazine.com

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Ed’s Note

Well, now the clocks have gone back and so have most of the holiday makers, things seem to be slowing down a little, the evenings are starting earlier and there is the smell of fires in the air keeping people warm and cosy at home. Long trousers and jumpers are replacing the shorts and the T-shirts and we are all starting to remember the rain that started this time last year and seemed to go on forever! It seems that last month was still warm and let’s hope that we are in for mild and drier winter. Speaking of winter, Christmas is not far away now and whilst you are thinking about presents for your loved ones (including the ones that you really want!) don’t forget that if your business has any special offers you would like to tell any new customers about or have a special event or party over the festive period that you would like to publicise in our what’s on guide, please get in touch.

If you are one of the few here in Spain that celebrate bonfire night (as we do at Costa Link HQ) be careful with the fireworks and don’t forget that even the jacket potatoes are hot!

And remember – Remembrance Day on Sunday on the 13th, the Sunday nearest to Armistice Day 11 November, the anniversary of the end of the hostilities of the First World War at 11 a.m. in 1918. So wear your Poppy with Pride!

ink!

L a st o C he t es v o L e on ry Eve

Wh at ’s On

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Bar & Restau ran t

Pu zzle s

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78

Guide

Kids Section 88

Jok es Pa ge s

Contact Us Call: 663 061 669 Email:sales@costalinkmagazine.com Website: www.costalinkmagazine.com Skype: costalink.magazine Tweet: @costa_link Deposito Legal: MA-228-2007 Deadline Date: 18th of each month

No part of this publication, including layout, graphic design or pictures may be copied, SCANNED, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. Costa Link Magazine accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors. All rights reserved © 2011.

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to advertise in costa link magazine please call 663 061 669

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A W o m a n’ s W o r l d New Channel 4 Show....

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and four kids each, for six weeks. Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes. There is no access to fast food. Each man must take care of his 4 kids, keep his assigned house clean, correct homework, complete science projects, cook, laundry, etc. The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done. There only one TV between them and there is no remote. The men must shave their legs and wear makeup daily, which they must apply themselves, either while driving or while making four lunches. They must attend weekly PTA meetings; clean up after their sick children at 3:00 a.m; make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas. The kids vote them off the island, based on performance. The last man wins only if he has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment’s notice. If the last man does win, he Waitinctgman! can play the game over and over again for the next 18-25 fe for the per years - eventually earning the right to be called “MUM”

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Hot Goss !

.. . . . r o t Uh-oh! It looks as though the claws have well and X Fac

truly come out at The X Factor camp. But this year, it's not the girls who are getting nasty - it's the boys!

As you already know, Gary Barlow has had plenty to say about his own act Frankie Cocozza, but his disappointment evidently didn’t just stop there! He says he's not impressed with Louis Walsh’s antics either…

Talking about of Louis’ mentoring skills, Gary said, “I think I have seen him [Louis] once at the house with the contestants. He is in Dublin all week. He doesn't really care. Louis says his acts are focused.”

Ooh meow. And what of Louis’ comments each week, Gazza?

"That is just panto talk — he uses the same lines every week and if I say a good line he nicks that too." Ha, well we can’t say we disagree with that last point. And let's face it, it’s probably just a matter of time until Louis puts his foot in it with a ‘You remind me of a younger [enter name of random comedian/singer here]’ verdict.

So does Louis have a comeback to all of this? Of course he does!

Simon Cowell is said to be less than pleased with the show only (ONLY!!?!?) receiving around 11-13 million viewers each week however, according to The Mirror, Simon has already warned the brand new X Factor judges that they may all be sacked if viewing figures continue to fall! Eek!

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Hot Goss !

...! e r e h t of I’m A Celebrity 2011 could be taken off the air due to u o e huge storms which have swamped the camp – and m Get more are on the way. According to The Sun, produc-

ers fear that tropical cyclones in the area could threaten the safety of celebrities.

A new bunch of stars (maybe including: Imogen Thomas — the glamour girl gagged over her affair with a married Premier League ace, Jedwood & Ricky Gervais' sidekick Karl Pilkington) are currently set to enter the Aussie jungle in just a few weeks time, with a new series starting early in November, but the weather could cause the show to be axed.

“Producers have been holding crisis talks all week after the camp was engulfed by torrential rain,” an insider revealed.

“It turned into a mudslide — roads were blocked and water levels in the nearby creeks got dangerously high. The high winds also meant huge branches fell from trees and littered the camp, making it very unsafe on the ground.”

The source revealed that weather warnings have doubled this year, with the show’s crew having to plan emergency procedures in case the worse happens.

“Cyclone warnings for the area have doubled this year, meaning emergency evacuation plans have had to be created for the celebrities.

The producers have said “Our main concern is the celebrities and making sure they’re safe.”

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midgets night out..... One night these t wo midget brothers walk into a bar and one says "Man I'm tired of screwing midget girls lets screw real women." So the other guy agreed. 5 minutes later t wo blonde's walk into the bar and sit by the t wo midgets. So the four of them get talking and the midgets ask if they want to come to there hotel rooms and stay the night and have sex. So the t wo blonde's decide to go. In the first room the blonde and the midget were getting it on when the midget says "Oh baby, I'm sorry this has never happened before, but I can't perform" So they give up and lay down to go asleep. But through the wall from the second room they hear "1, 2, 3 uh 1, 2, 3 uh", which keeps up all night long.

So the next day after the blonde's leave the brothers meet each other again and discuss how there night went. The first midget says "Oh, my night was terrible. I just couldn't perform." The second midget replies "Mine was worse than that". "What do you mean" said the first guy. "I heard you going "1, 2, 3 uh all night long". To which the second guy replies "Yeah! I couldn't get on the damn bed" In 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped under the fence from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of small fortunes. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the B-Team.

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1) What was Matthew Webb the first person to do in 1875 in a time of 21hrs 45mins?

2) Who had a 1993 hit with ‘Dreams’?

3) What character did Leslie Ash play in Men Behaving Badly?

4) What is 5 cubed?

5) On which river is Niagara Falls?

6) In the 1974 Martin Scorsese film, who ‘Doesn’t Live Here Anymore’?

7) What colour is Euston Road on a Monopoly board?

8) Which actress Jane is famous for her workout videos?

9) Who had a 1980’s hit with ‘A Groovy Kind of Love’?

10) Which bird gave Fleetwood Mac their first UK number one?

11) Which planet is also known as ‘The Morning Star’?

12) What is traditionally served with ‘Haggis’?

13) In which city is ‘Broadway’?

14) Who had a hit with ‘My Ding-a-Ling?

15) Which Kevin starred in a Fish Called Wanda?

16) In the 1997 Gen Election, how many Conservative MP’s were left in Scotland 0,1 or 3?

17) What is South West Africa now known as?

18) ‘LOVELY’ is an anagram of which tennis word?

19) What do the initials ‘ET’ stand for in the Steven Spielberg film?

20) What is three eighths of 96?

21) Which political party did Prime Minister Stanley Baldwin represent?

22) Moving clockwise on a dartboard, which number is next to 17?

23) Mintaka, Alnilam and Alnitak are three stars that make up what?

24) Which tree can be ‘white’ or ‘weeping’?

25) How many pounds in a hundredweight?

26) Which county is former athlete Sally Gunnell from?

27) Which Johnny was the first presenter of Animal Magic?

28) How many years of marriage is denoted by a ‘Diamond’ wedding anniversary?

29) In which city did rhyming slang originate?

30) Who was the Roman God of War? Bonus – When is Halley’s Comet next due to visit?

TRIVIA QUIZ

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Answers on page 90

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Tales from the zoo.....

A zoo had among its animals a female gorilla, whose mood was becoming increasingly difficult. The vet concluded that she was on heat and that a mate should be found. The vet contacted some other nearby zoos to find a partner for the broody female, but to no avail. The female gorilla's behaviour continued to worsen, but the vet noticed that she grew calmer, and strangely responsive, whenever a particularly well-built and none-too-handsome keeper entered the enclosure. Being an unprincipled and adventurous fellow, the vet put an outrageous proposition to the keeper: For a fee of five hundred pounds would the keeper consider spending a little 'q uality time' with the gorilla, purely in the interests of research of course?

The keeper, also an unprincipled and adventurous fellow, pondered the suggestion, and after a few minutes agreed to the offer, subject to three conditions. The vet, intrigued, listened to the keeper's demands: “First,” the keeper said, “No kissing.”

“Fine,” said the vet.

“Second, no-one must ever know - if this gets out I'll kill you.”

“You have my word,” said the vet, “And your final condition?”

“It's just,” said the keeper a little awkwardly, “Can I have a couple of weeks to raise the five hundred quid?”

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top 10 spray tanning tips Hi Ladies & Gents, I thought I would post some tips for you on preparing for your spray tan to help you achieve maximum results and achieve a longer lasting golden glow.

1) 24 hours before your spray tan appointment, shower well and exfoliate. Use an exfoliating scrub and exfoliating gloves or a loofah to get rid of any dry skin, especially around the knees and elbows. It is important that your exfoliating scrub doesn’t contain any oils, otherwise the oily barrier can stop the spray tanning solution getting through.

2) Shave or Wax at least 24 hours before your appointment.

3) Moisturise 24 hours before your appointment especially knees and elbows.

4) Do not shower or moisturise within 12 hours of your spray tan appointment. DHA (spray tan chemical) does not take as well to freshly showered or moisturised skin and can prevent the tanning solution getting through.

5) If you have any old tan on your skin, make sure it is all removed before your next spray tan to avoid a streaky effect.

6) Wear, loose, dark clothes to your spray tan appointment; this will help to avoid rubbing any tan off and marking any light coloured clothing.

7) Be prepared to go home without wearing a bra and socks. (They can rub tan off) 8) Try to attend your appointment with none or minimal make-up and without deodorant. Make-Up would need to be removed and wearing deodorant could react with the spray tan.

9) Wait at least 6 hours before showering, this leaves enough time for your tan to develop, then moisturise daily to prolong your golden tan.

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Tommy Copper Classic’s.... • Two blondes walk into a building.......... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.

• Phone answering machine message - "...If you want to buy marijuana,

press the hash key..." • A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts." • I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. • I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high." • My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in. • A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off". • I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle. • Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it. • Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself. • Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it." • 'Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home' "That soundslike Tom Jones syndrome.

'Is it common?' "It's not unusual." • A man takes his Rotteweiller to the vet. "My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy" • Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom! • What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. • So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look

great, the world's your oyster, go for it.' • Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my Dad, or my older Brother Colin, or my younger Brother Ho-Cha-Chu? But I think its Colin.

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Autumn - Winter collection now in

genius jeans Avda. del Mediterraneo 4, San Pedro de Alcรกntara (near Da Bruno Restaurant, opposite the Fishing Boat)

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A guy walks up to a beautiful woman..... in

Sainsburys. “Excuse me,” he says “but I seem to have lost my wife down one of the aisles somewhere and can't find her. Could you please help me?” “Well what do you need me to do?” the beautiful woman asks. “Just stand here and talk to me” the man replies. “I don’t understand.” the woman says.

“How's that going to help you find your wife?” “No idea really... but every time I talk to a beautiful woman with boobs like yours, my wife always appears out of nowhere.”

Whilst attending a funeral..... of a very distant relative, Michael heard a sobbing from a nearby grave followed by the words “why did you have to die? why did you have to die?”

So Michael made his way over to the grave and said to a very distressed man “I am sorry for your loss, was it your wife?”

“No said the man tearfully –Why did you have to die?”

Michael asked “was it your brother or your sister?”

“No said the man tearfully –Why did you have to die?”

Michael asked “was it one of your parents?”

“No said the man tearfully –Why did you have to die?”

Michael asked “was it a close friend?”

“No said the man tearfully –Why did you have to die?”

Michael said “forgive me for asking, but if it wasn’t your wife, it wasn’t your brother or sister and it wasn’t a friend, then who died?”

The man turned and said – “My wife’s first husband!”

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Flast AMwords OuS

Fmoment unny

“What does this button do?� “I’ ll get a world record for this.� “It’ s probably just a rash.� “It’ s fireproof.� “He’ s probably just hibernating.� “So, you’ re a cannibal...� “Are you sure the power is off?� “The odds of that happening have to be a million to one!� “Pull the pin and count to what?� “I wonder where the mother bear is?� “These are the good kind of mushrooms.� “I’ ll hold it and you light the fuse.� “Rat poison only kills rats.� “It’ s strong enough for both of us.� “This doesn’ t taste right.� “I can make this light before it changes.� “Nice doggie.� “I can do that with my eyes closed.� “Well, we’ ve made it this far.� “What duck?�

A guy walks into a tavern. As he walked up to the bar he noticed a t welve-inch man playing the piano, so he asked the bartender, "What's that all about?" The bartender told him he that would tell him later. So the guy asked the bartender for a drink. The bartender said, "Before you get your drink, you get to rub the magic beer bottle and make one wish." "Okay," said the guy. He went over to the magic beer bottle and rubbed it. Poof.

Out came a genie. The genie, of course, said, "You have one wish." The guy thought about it and then wished for a million bucks. A cloud of smoke filled the room, and then both the genie and the guy disappeared. In a few minutes, the guy reappeared back in the bar with a million ducks all around him. The guy was astounded and said to the bartender, "Hey! I didn't want a million ducks."

The bartender replied, "Do you honestly think I wanted a t welve-inch Pianist?"

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Pet Transportation As we have all been told as of the 1st of January 2012 DEFRA will have changed their rabies policy. It will now only be 21 days after the rabies vaccination that your pet can enter the UK from France & Spain in particular of interest for us & there will be no need for a blood test. Now there is absolutely NO excuse NOT to take your pets with you when you return home.... It will become cheaper and easier to travel abroad with pets when new rules are introduced at the start of next year.

If you are looking at using at using a Pet Transportation Company to transport your pets it is important to use these guidelines on choosing a transporter for your pets.

• Your pets are not a piece of luggage & not pieces of furniture therefore choose a company that understands & respects this & who are experienced animal handlers; we would recommend that you use a “Pets Only” transporter company.

• If transporting Pets by land the vehicle used should be customised for pets, have safe secure fitted travel compartments with water containers, be rotary vented, have twin air conditioning & windows should have privacy glass.

• Vehicles would be better if they had no bulk head between the driver & the animals to ensure that the driver can hear the pets.

• Experienced Pet Handlers with Testimonials is essential.

For any further help on services we can offer contact us on via www.poshpetsspain.com

Posh P osshh P Pets ets Sp Spain S pain Petet T P Transportation Transporta ransportation ransporta tion

Pet P et Relocation specialists to & from the UK, France Chauffeur driven, F rance & Spain. Chauff eur driv en, accompanied pets by land. Customised vvehicles ehicles ffor or your pets comfort safety. comf ort & saf ety.

For quotation contact F or a quot ation please cont act us: 0034 952 597 035 www.poshpetsspain.com www .poshpetsspain.com 30

November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:41 AM Page 31

Dog Teeth Cleaning Brush, plaque removal & polish

November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:41 AM Page 32

Respite Care do you need a break?

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The services we provide are:

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RU A Nurse led service providing an innovative and holistic approach to healthcare that brings the values and practices of a British Health Centre to the Costa del Sol, enabling you to access a service that is familiar. •Well Womens Clinic (Cervical Smears, breast examinations) •Full Health Assessments •Dyslexia Assessments •Complimentary Therapists •Counseling service •Hypertension management

•Community Mental Health team Mens Health Clinic (Includes PSA, Testicular examination) •Care Coordination Centre •Asthma Clinic •Diabetes Management •Vaccination Clinics

Tel: 952 83 57 76 www.clinicamedicare.com Located in La Cala de Mijas just around the corner from the BP petrol station. Ample parking.

32

November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:41 AM Page 33

Specialising in natural health products & alternative therapies.

630 215 435 Organic Food <(An^kmZ Gn^oZ GĂŹ/ >lm^ihgZ +2/1) (Nr Carrefour Express)

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November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:41 AM Page 34

Medical Tips

the correct care....

Faced with the choice, how would you know which is the right Nursing / Care home?

Deciding to move into or putting someone you love into a nursing home / care home is probably the hardest decision a person has to make for themselves, a parent, spouse or another loved one. So it is vitally important that you consider what is specifically right for you or that loved one and you ensure that their very individualized needs will be met.

British expats are not all the same, so the home that you choose has to show flexibility as well as the ability to meet your very specific needs.

Whether it be full nursing and residential care, respite care, holiday respite care, day / home care or convalescing the choice you make is probably one of the most important of your life or the life of your loved one.

A good nursing / care home will have a clear policy that ensures the residents right to dignity, privacy and choice. The residents should be able to have a care free existence and enjoy all kinds of benefits including personal care, cleaning, laundry, good food, pleasant company and caring staff. Providing an environment that is safe, nurturing, client focused and needs led.

All older people should be considered as an individual with respect for personal tastes, preferences and needs.

So how would you know which is a good nursing / care home?

When planning residential care we at “medilink” believe that you need to take a very proactive approach. Take advice from healthcare professionals and talk to friends for recommendations. Visit those that you shortlist and take the time to observe and talk to the residents that are already there.

Villa Jacaranda is one such nursing / care home that operates an open policy and is keen for potential residents to visit and see for themselves what is really on offer, and whether they can meet your or your loved ones individual needs.

Villa Jacaranda, is a Preferred Partner of “medilink” and a recommended nursing / care home offering an individualized approach to clients needs in a homely environment. For more information on Villa Jacaranda or any of our other Preferred Partners call “medilink” on 952 93 38 76 34

November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:42 AM Page 35

Are you fed up with trying to locate good, reliable and accurate information, unsure who to turn to when it comes to health and health related issues here on the Costa del Sol...

…solving the puzzle of healthcar e in healthcare Spain!

Tel: T el: (0034) 952 93 38 76 Email: medilinkspain@gmail.com only you'll ever medilink the onl y tel no y ou'll e ver need

SANITAS HEALTH PLAN Whether you require a worldwide policy, or healthcare for Spain only, Sanitas have the solution The Xanit is now covered by Sanitas Health Plans to Suit all Budgets

Contact your English Agent, Susan Warner T: 951 272 124 M: 615 655 348 www.healthinsurance-spain.com info@healthinsurance-spain.com

November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:42 AM Page 36

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a funny old world.....

Proof That The World Is Nuts In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.)

In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination.

He may only see their reflection in a mirror. (Do they look different reversed?)

Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times. (A brick??)

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. (Much worse than "going blind!")

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. (Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)

In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.(Ah! Justice!)

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!)

Conâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t page 38

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Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a funny old world Conâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t..... Proof That The World Is Nuts In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act. (Makes one shudder at the thought.)

In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time ( I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)

In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises." (Is this a great country or what? Well . . . not as great as Guam!)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Who volunteers for this stuff?!)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.(From drinking little bottles of .. ?) (Did the government pay for this research??)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Yuk.) An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)* Starfish don't have brains.

(I know some people like that, too.)

And, the best for last: Turtles can breathe through their butts. (And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!)

GOLD

We Buy Scrap Gold - Gold Coins Rings - Chains Pendants - ETC Inst nstant ant Cash Home Visits

diamonds iamonds wanted anted All MUSICAL best est prices rices paid aid INSTRUMENTS we can an tr ravel avel BOUGHT

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ocal Info ---

Emergency Numbers

Central number for Fire, Police & Ambulance National Police Local Police Guardia Civil dica

112 091 092 062

Medical

Emergency 061 Ambulance Marbella 902 505 061 Ambulance Coin 952 453 267

Health Centres

Town Halls Marbella 952 761 100 San Pedro 952 453 020 La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208 Fuengirola 952 589 300 Estepona 952 801 100

Fire Brigade Emergency number 080 Marbella 952 774 349 Estepona 952 804 483 Fuengirola 952 461 046

Markets

Consulates 952 952 952 952 952 952 952

352 475 226 604 212 226 474

300 108 373 383 442 590 891

Tourist Information Marbella Coin Estepona Fuengirola San Pedro

86 40

Bus Stations Marbella 952 764 400 Coin 952 450 366 San Pedro 952 781 396 Estepona 952 800249 For a list of complete times www.andalucia.com/travel/bus Train Timetables 902 240 202 Airports Malaga 952 048 844 Gibraltar 956 773 026

Marbella 952 769 946 Coin 952 452 767 San Pedro 952 787 700

British Ireland Denmark Sweden Germany France U.S.A

Transport

952 771 442 952 822 818 952 822 818 952 467 457 952 785 252

Monday - Marbella (fairground site on east side) Tuesday - Fuengirola (fairground near Los Boliches) Wednesday - Estepona (Avda.

Juan Carlos) La Cala - Feria ground Thursday - San Pedro (Recinto Ferial) Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama) Friday - Alhaurin el Grande (Bar Aquamania) Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano Pineda) La Cala - Feria ground.

Sunday - Puerto Estepona

(Marina)

Cinemas

All the Cinemas listed below show films in English as well as Spanish. Call first to check what is showing that week.

Marbella: Cinesur Plaza del Mar 952 766 941 La Ca単ada 902 333 231 Puerto Banus: Gran Marbella 952 810 077 Coin: La Trocha 951 315 039 Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221 622

Chemists 24 hour chemist Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz Km 194. Marbella.

Tel: 952 83 25 89

Taxis Marbella Taxis 952 774 488 Mijas Costa Taxis 952 476 593

Diary Dates 1st November -Todos los Santos - All Saints day 25th November Thanksgiving 30th November - St.Andrew's Day (Scotland only) national celebration of Scottish identity and culture

if you would like to sponsor this page please call 663 061 669

November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:54 AM Page 41

Rid your property of Black Mould & Musty Damp Smells NOW A “P “Positive ositive Input Ventilation” Venti entilation” ilation”” system installed in y your our pr property operty will:

;S STOP TOP black black mould growth growth forming on w walls alls and ceilings ceilings..... ..... by b yv ventilating entilating y your our pr property operty 24/7

; REMO REMOVE R VE damp musty musty smells instantly..... lea instantly..... leaving ving y your our pr property operty smelling fr fresh esh and welcoming welcoming

ro b le m he pproble veerr tthe over ainntt oov ddooonnn’t’tt ppai

635 635 545 54 205 spain@dampfreeliving.com spain@dampfreeliving.com

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Wednesday 9th & Thursday 1st December: enjoy a glass of wine and piece of cake at the 4th annual Christmas Shopping Evening at Glitterati – Centro Diana 952 928 136 from 6 – 8pm.

Every Monday: Monday Karaoke at Ray’s Bar, With Allstars - Mark James, Dona Lola, Beach Side Calahonda, opposite El Zoco Tel 634 840 364 Every Wednesday: Curry Night & Karaoke at Ray’s Bar, With Allstars - Mark James, Dona Lola.

Every Thursday: Steak Night at Ray’s Bar, With live Music, Dona Lola, Beach Side Calahonda, opposite El Zoco Tel 634 840 364 Every Friday: Fish and Chips Night at Ray’s Bar, Dona Lola, Beach Side Calahonda, opposite El Zoco Tel 634 840 364 Every Sunday: Traditional Sunday lunch at Santiago del Calvario, Alhaurin, Roast beef, Lamb Pork, or chicken with fish and Vegetarian options available.

Every Sunday: Traditional Sunday lunch at El Parasio Bar and Restaurant. Tel 952 883 799 Every Sunday: Karaoke at Ray’s Bar, With Allstars - Mark James, Dona Lola, Beach Side Calahonda, opposite El Zoco Tel 634 840 364 Every Sunday: Barbeque night at Riviera Grand Palms Cyber Cafe, from 6pm, Families welcome, loads of home cooked food from 7€, Calle Sirocco 370 Phase 7 Urb. Riveria del Sol, follow the signs from the lady in the bath, booking advised Tel 952 932 112.

If you would like to list your events, days out or any else you have going on please contact us on: 663 061 669 or email editor@costalinkmagazine.com

What’s On

Guide

44

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622 206 891

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The Benefits Of Massage

Experts estimate that upwards of ninety percent of disease is stress related. And perhaps nothing ages us faster, internally and externally, than high stress. While eliminating anxiety and pressure altogether in this fast-paced world may be idealistic, massage can, without a doubt, help manage stress.

Well Being This translates into: Decreased anxiety, Enhanced sleep quality, Greater energy, Improved concentration, Increased circulation & Reduced fatigue.

Furthermore, clients often report a sense of perspective and clarity after receiving a massage. The emotional balance bodywork provides can often be just as vital and valuable as the more tangible physical benefits.

Health&

Profound Effects In response to massage, specific physiological and chemical changes cascade throughout the body, with profound effects. Research shows that with massage: • Arthritis sufferers note fewer aches and less stiffness and pain.

• Asthmatic children show better pulmonary function and increased peak air flow.

• Burn injury patients report reduced pain, itching, and anxiety.

• High blood pressure patients demonstrate lower diastolic blood pressure, anxiety, and stress hormones.

• Premenstrual syndrome sufferers have decreased water retention and cramping.

• Preterm infants have improved weight gain.

Research continues to show the enormous benefits of touch—which range from treating chronic diseases, neurological disorders, and injuries, to alleviating the tensions of modern lifestyles.

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BAR & RESTAURANT

Guide.....

Vanilla Martini’s You may find it hard to stop at one of these delicious cocktails.

Ingredients

•3 handfuls ice • 350ml vodka

• 1 tsp vanilla extract • 100ml Grand Marnier • 100ml sugar syrup

•3 vanilla pods , split lengthways

Method

Put all the ingredients in a jug.

Stir really well and strain into martini glasses. Decorate with a strip of vanilla pod if you like.

Per serving

233 kcalories, protein 0g, carbohydrate 1.77g, fat 0 g, saturated fat 0g, fibre 0g, salt 0.15 g 52

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HONG KONG

CHINESE RESTAURANT

La Mir Mirage rage age Restaurant Resttaur au urrant & Spikes Bar

Lunch or Dine in style in our fabulous Restaurant overlooking the Golf Course excellent choice of menus and wines. Open every day of the year.

Live entertainment on Friday / Saturday evenings or

ONLY â&#x201A;Ź6.90

Spring Roll, Special Salad, Chicken and Sweetcorn/Tomato/Hot and Sour Soup or Spare Ribs.

MAIN COURSE

Beef with Blackbean/Oyster/Chinese Mushroom and Bamboo/Curry or Chicken with Cashew Nuts/Sweet and Sour/Curry or Prawns with Vegetables or Sweet and Sour Fish (Hake)

RICE AND NOODLES

Relax on the sunny terrace of Spikes Bar. Breakfasts, snacks & daily specials available from 08:00 till late every day (from 09:00 on Sunday)

Special House Fried Rice, Boiled Rice or Noodles with Soya Bean Sprouts or Chips

Miraflores Mira aflorres Golf Go Gollff Club Clluub

Coffee, Tea, Ice Cream, Cream Caramel or Fruit Main restaurant serving usual delicacies 6pm - 12pm

Urbanizacion Riviera Del Sol, Mijas Costa, 29647 Malaga

Tel Tel (+34) 952 931 941 Email: reservations@mirafloresgolfrestaurant.com W Website: ebsite: www www.miraflores-golf.com .miraflores-golf.com

56

SPECIAL LUNCHTIME MENU 12PM - 4PM STARTERS

DESSERTS

Jardin Botanico, Local 16, La Cala de Mijas.

Tel: 952 599 236.

Mob: 685 578 743

November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/24/11 9:40 AM Page 57

r a B s ’ y Ra

Dona Lola Costa Mijas Cos ta Beachh Side Calahonda Beac

for all the latest info www.facebook.com/rays.bar

un S / d e Mon/W

ve iGame 5 lG Games sTV’s shown on fflat lat screen screen TV’s

from 9pm

STEAK S TEAK N NIGHT IGHT Thurrssday

Wednesday W ednesday

Curry Night www.raysbar.co.uk 840 TTel: el: 634 8 40 364 364

Open Op en 7 days days a week week from from 10am 10am to to Late Late

2 sirlion sirlion meals meals & b ottle o ine 119.95€ 9.95€ bottle off w wine

Friday

ip h C & Fish Night

Mama Nostra

Golden Sun

Traditional Italian food & grill. Fresh pasta, wood burning pizza oven, Open every day 12 - 11. Riviera Commercial, Tel: 952 934 496

Traditional Chinese Food. Takeaway menu.

Special lunch menu only €6.95.

Open 12.00-16.00 and 18.30-24.00 everyday.

Riviera Commercial. Tel: 952 931 737

Harrys Sports Bar

All live sports and premiere league football. Six TV’s and big screen. Full menu, Sunday roast and homemade tapas. Large sun terrace. Open 10amlate, seven days a week.

Upstairs Los Jarales, Calahonda

November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 12:01 PM Page 58

Kit-Kat CupCake...

Ingredients:

For the sponge: 100 g self-raising flour, sifted 20 g cocoa powder 145 g caster sugar 40 g butter, at room temperature 120 ml whole milk 1 large egg 1/2 tsp vanilla extract 1 tsp instant coffee, dissolved in 1 tsp hot water 3 Kit Kat chocolate bars, (six sticks altogether), crushed For the chocolate frosting: 225 g butter 350 g icing sugar, sifted 50 g cocoa powder 1 tbsp whole milk 6 Kit Kat chocolate bars, (12 sticks altogether), to decorate

Method:

1. For the sponge: preheat the oven to 180C/160C fan/gas 4 and line a 12-hole tin with cupcake paper cases. Tip the flour, cocoa powder, sugar and butter into a food processor and blitz on a slow speed for one minute, until you achieve a sandy consistency.

2. Gradually pour in half of the milk and beat until just incorporated. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t worry if it looks a

58

little messy at this stage â&#x20AC;&#x201C; it will come together! In a separate bowl, whisk the remaining milk together with the egg, vanilla extract and coffee. Pour into the batter and beat for a couple of minutes until smooth, scraping down the side of the bowl to catch any unmixed ingredients as you go. Lastly, gently fold through the crushed Kit Kat until thoroughly combined.

3. Divide the mixture between the 12 paper cases, filling each one up two-thirds full. Bake in the preheated oven for 20 minutes or until the sponge bounces back when prodded with a finger. Leave to cool on a wire rack while you make the frosting.

4. For the frosting: tip the butter, icing sugar and cocoa powder into a food processor and beat until well combined. Add the milk and then beat again for a couple of minutes until light and fluffy.

5. When the sponges have cooled completely, carefully spoon a third of the frosting into a piping bag and use it to decorate the first four cupcakes. Repeat until you have finished them all.

Alternatively, just use a palette knife to spread about 2 tbsp of frosting onto each cupcake.

6. Decorate with shards of Kit Kat, and maybe a sprinkle of crushed Kit Kat too.

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­If­you­lived­as­a­child­in­the­40's,­50's, 60's­or­70's,­looking­back....

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Our cots were covered with bright coloured lead-based paint. We had no child-proof lids on medicine bottles, doors, or cupboards, and when we rode our bikes we had no helmets.

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. Horrors.

We would spend hours building go-carts out of

62

scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times we learned to solve the problem.

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the street lights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. No mobile phones. Unthinkable.

We got cut and broke bones and broke teeth, and there were no law suits from these accidents. They were accidents. No one was to blame, but us.

Remember accidents?

We had fights and punched each other and got black and blue and learned to get over it.

We ate sugary sweets, bread and butter, and drank cordial, but we were never overweight...we were always outside playing. We shared one drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one died from this.

We did not have Playstations, Wii’s, X-Boxes, video games... Con’t page 64

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­Con’t...If­you­lived­as­a­child­in­the­40's, 50's,­60's­or­70's,­looking­back....

250 satellite channels on TV, DVD movies, surround sound, personal mobile phones, Personal Computers, Internet chat rooms ... we had friends.

We went outside and found them. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's home and knocked on the door, or rung the bell, or just walked in and talked to them. Imagine such a thing.

Without asking a parent! By ourselves! Out there in the cold cruel world! Without a guardian how did we do it?

We made up games with sticks and tennis balls, and ate worms, and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes, nor did the worms live inside us forever.

Footy and netball had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't, had to learn to

deal with disappointment.....

Some students weren't as smart as others and failed exams so they were held back a year. Tests were not adjusted for any reason.

Our actions were our own.

Consequences were expected. No one to hide behind.

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke a law was unheard of.

They actually sided with the law imagine that! This generation has produced some of the best risktakers and problem solvers and inventors, ever. The past 50 years has been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

It's hard to believe that we have lived as long as we have...

AL BUILD T O T

Construction & Developments

651 091 717

evans.build@hotmail.com 64

November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:46 AM Page 65

S ecurity Â&#x2021;/RFN 6DIH 2SHQLQJ 6HUYLFH Â&#x2021; /RFNV &KDQJHG Of Â&#x2021;3DWLRV :LQGRZV 6HFXUHG S pain &RQWDFW 'DUHQ

7HO

24 HOUR LOCKSMITHS

ZZZ VHFXULW\RIVSDLQ FRP ANDALUCIA`S LEADING SPECIALIST COUNTRY REAL ESTATE AGENCY

Andalucia Country Houses

SELLING COUNTRY HOMES SINCE 1996

WE HAVE CLIENTS ACTIVELY LOOKING FOR QUALITY COUNTRY HOMES WITH SWIMMING POOLS , BED AND BREAKFAST & GUEST HOUSES RURAL HOTELâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S IN THE FOLLOWING AREAS: JIMENA DE LA FRONTERA ESTEPONA INLAND, CASARES, GAUCIN, MONDA, GUARO, ALORA. Contact us for viewings, valuations and listing: www.andalucia-country-houses.com

Tel: 952 852 720 Mob: 689 992 163 email: karen@andalucia-country-houses.com

November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:46 AM Page 66

Steve was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both of his ears. Since he was permanently disfigured, he settled with the company for a rather large sum of money and went on his way. One day, Steve decided to invest his money in a small, but growing telecom business. And, after weeks of negotiations, he bought the company outright. But after signing on the dotted line, he realized that he knew nothing about running such a business and quickly set out to hire someone who could do that for him.

The next day he had set up three interviews. The first guy was great. He knew everything he needed to and was very interesting.

But at the end of the interview, Steve asked him, "Do you notice anything different about me?" And the gentleman answered, "Why yes, I couldn't help but notice you have no ears." Steve got very angry and threw him out.

The second interview was with a woman, and she was even better than the first guy.

But he asked her the same question, Do you notice anything different about me? And she replied: "Well, you have no ears." Steve again was upset and tossed her out.

The third and last interview was the best of all three. It was with a very young man who was fresh out of college. He was smart. He was handsome. And he seemed to be a better businessman than the first two put together. Steve was anxious, but went ahead and asked the young man the same question: "Do you notice anything different about me?" And to his surprise, the young man answered: Yes. You wear contact lenses."

Steve was shocked, and said, "What an incredibly observant young man. How in the world did you know that?" The young man fell off his chair laughing hysterically and replied, "Well, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with no ears!"

Steve’S Accident

Th Thee CCosta’s o s t a’s m main ain sstockist t o c k i s t ooff 100 100’s ’s of of re ready ad y m made ade ccurtains u rt a i n s aand n d ppoles. o le s . M Made ade ttoo me measure a s u re bblinds, l i n d s, ffrom rom vvertical, e rt ic a l , rroman, om a n, vvenetians, e ne t i a n s, rroller, o l le r, ssliding l idi n g ppanels a ne l s aand n d tthe h e nnew ew pperfect e r f e c t ffit i t bblind li nd m made ade ffor o r ttilted i l te d windows. w i n do ws .

Fre Freee cconsultation, o n s u l t at i o n, de design s ig n aand n d me measuring a s u r i ng sser e r vvice. ic e .

Ironing I ro n i n g aand n d ffitting i t t i n g aavailable. v a i l a ble .

DDuvets, u ve t s, dduvet u ve t ccovers, o ve rs, ppillows, i l l o ws, ttowels o we l s and a n d cushions. c ushio n s .

ESTE ESTEPONA PONA

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November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:46 AM Page 67

PARKER SOL PROPERTIES & COSTALETS Tel: 952 56 39 39 / 636 829 631 www.costalet.com C.I.F:­B-92171388

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November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:46 AM Page 68

S TA R S I GN S

A look at what's in store for you during November.....

Capricorn

Aquarius

68

Social relationships are once again in focus this month, Capricorn. Tricky or complicated dealings with others tend to clear up after the 18th, when your communication skills improve and your dealings with others are more direct and straightforward. Money from a business or self-employment increases at this time as well. Your intuition surrounding finances improves, and you are able to put more faith in your ability to manage your money effectively. Despite a busy social agenda this month, you are moving into a more introspective cycle in which you crave more time to yourself, more sleep and rest, and more solitude in general. Take this time for rest and reflection, as December promises to be especially busy.

Your instincts for finances improve this month, Aquarius, and you might enjoy a pay or income increase. Career and professional matters are in strong focus, and you're ready to take charge of this area of your life. Your reputation improves after the 18th, when you bring more warmth to your professional manner. The 20th-21st may bring a career project to a head. Your social life is very busy throughout November. Teamwork is emphasized, although there can be some strife with friends if you are pushed into the background or you are unable to set your own pace socially. Conflicts are lessened if you take the lead and work towards a common goal with others. Romantic opportunities might present themselves through your friends or group associations.

Pisces

A mostly feel-good month is in store for you, Pisces. Both your rulers, Jupiter and Neptune, turn this month, pointing to increased confidence, energy, and clarity. You have a lot of energy for career matters. You are motivated to make money and you feel, for the most part, on top of your game. If you are able to set your own pace when it comes to work, you are at your happiest. If tied to routine or eclipsed by others, you might stir up some negative energy that leads to complications or conflicts professionally, however. Try to find ways to work independently without causing friction for doing so. You are enthusiastic about your beliefs and wear your ideas with confidence and authority this month.

Aries

A stronger need for personal freedom takes hold this month, Aries. You resent any feeling of being tied to routines, rules, and regulations. You are putting more faith in your instincts and your judgment. The result is more spontaneity and possibly more adventure or risk-taking in your life than there has been recently. You are more assertive now as well, and your ability to trust your intuition is heightened. Ideas are flowing and you express them more freely in November. Some of the problems that have recently stumped you now find resolve. The 15th is strong for making solid plans or commitments with a partner. The Full Moon on the 21st will bring financial revelations or news. Financial and love matters find more clarity after the 18th.

Taurus

Your attention turns to debts, loans, and shared finances this month, Taurus. Taking charge of your finances, particularly those to do with a partner or from a source other than your basic income, will become necessary. The first week of the month may bring emotional issues from your past to light, particularly those surrounding relationships.

Past partners might resurface now. From the 18th forward you are more confident about the direction you'd like your life to take. Friendships become clearer, and so do your business plans. The need to resolve tricky financial or intimate matters is strong, and energy is now excellent for objective analysis and for solutions. The 21st brings a revelation about a partner.

Gemini

Relationships heat up this month, Gemini. There is a provocative energy surrounding you that tends to pull previously buried issues with others to the surface for resolve. You will have more energy and confidence to pursue a new relationship. You are taking charge of your work and daily health routines this month. It's a strong period for starting a new program or routine to improve your health or work, especially after the 18th when career matters become clearer. More credibility on the job front is likely now.

Your humble confidence will go a long way towards improving your reputation and professional status. The last ten days of the month are especially favorable for love and relationship matters. You can now wipe the slate clean and move on with your life.

November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:46 AM Page 69

Cancer

Leo

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio

Sagittarius

Energy is dynamic this month for work and health matters, Cancer. It's a good time for applying yourself to projects that require attention to detail, as well as for researching and implementing new health routines and programs for self-improvement. It's important to you to set your own pace and rhythm. If you are feeling like a slave to routine or to the schedules of others, you might stimulate conflict with people around you. If you've been waiting for word on a new job or a career plan, it's likely to arrive this month. Love matters move forward after the 18th, when confusing emotional situations begin to dissipate. It's also a strong time for creative pursuits, educational or legal matters, and travel.

Romantic and creative activities heat up this month, Leo. You are considerably bolder now after a period of introspection. Your zest for life and your tendency to take risks emotional, romantic, and creative - increase. Of course, you might want to control your spending, as you may be overconfident now. Romance is more passionate and stimulating, although the increased energy can also lead to some trouble. Competitive endeavors thrive. Financial matters, particularly those shared with a partner or money sources other than your basic income, become clearer and move forward. The 15th&16th brings better energy for all money and practical matters. Family life improves dramatically later this month, which helps you to let your hair down and enjoy yourself without guilt.

Improvement in your love life and partnerships is very likely this month, Virgo. A partner is easier to understand from the 7th forward, and love dynamics are more direct and straightforward from the 18th. Increased activity on the home front is likely now, and you can use this energy positively by working on reorganizing, renovating, or otherwise improving your domestic life. If you don't harness and manage the excess energy, however, you might encounter resistance or strife with family members. You have more confidence for pushing forward with creative ideas that you've been keeping to yourself.

Finances improve after the 18th. You are clearer about how to spend and save money effectively.

Your intellect is energized this month, Libra. Learning, sharing knowledge, and communicating with more confidence all figure strongly in November. At times you can speak quite rashly or you could find that you're impatient with slowness or passivity in others.

Use this increased mental energy productively. You might present your ideas with much enthusiasm and confidence, which can increase the likelihood that they're accepted and admired. From the 18th forward, you are more decisive and direct in your dealings with others. Work also improves and any work matters that have been stalling begin to move forward. Finances are a strong focus, and around the 21st, you might settle some debts or obtain a loan. Your month will be very busy and lively.

It's a strong month for personal influence, Scorpio, particularly after the 18th, when you come across more smoothly and warmly. You can tackle challenges and problems more effectively than usual. Watch the impact you have on others now, which will be considerable, and make any tweaks necessary to improve the impression you make going forward. Romance improves considerably. A partner or lover is easier to understand in the second half of the month. The 21st brings relationship issues to light. Your creative juices flow more smoothly and reliably in November. Energy to make more money is very strong now. You don't take kindly to anyone telling you how to manage your finances, however, and this attitude could stir up some conflicts.

Renewed stamina, energy, and confidence are with you this month, Sagittarius. You are more assertive and direct when you are going after what you want. However, until the 22nd, part of you craves some solitude as you instinctively pull back from putting your heart into new endeavors. Admirers make their interest in you known this month. Home and family matters improve greatly from the 18th. You might receive news of securing a new residence or property, or your domestic situation is more satisfying and comfortable.

While your love feelings remain deeply personal and private, you begin to trust your instincts about love matters more faithfully. Work matters are illuminated around the 21st, when your job demands special attention.

November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:46 AM Page 70

Strange but true...

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is ‘UP.’ It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the politicians UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.

At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special. This UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is blocked UP. We open UP a shop in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP. When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so...Time to shut UP -

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November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:47 AM Page 72

W h a t â&#x20AC;&#x2122; s News

Pool Repair Spain is have just gone into their 14th year on

the Costa del Sol. They started in 1997 as a building company and progressed in specialising in swimming pool building and maintenance. They now enjoy an excellent reputation and are regarded as one of the top pool repair companies on the Costa.

They say that a good Pool builder is a good builder, but it doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t always follow that a good builder is a good pool builder and if you want a pool built, repaired or maintained you are always better to ask a specialist. For example, a good pool contactor needs to be a specialist plumber, electrician, designer and tiler all in one!

If you have an old or tired pool or if your pool no longer functions, leaks or even looks ugly, Pool Repair Spain can help. By retiling an old painted pool, installing new steps, building in a Jacuzzi adding led lighting or an automatic salt ph or heat pump will transform the pool. They use the latest techniques along with epoxy glues and resins or strong two part cement glues to help with a new look. They can transform an old pool be it 10 years or 30 years old to look like new within a few weeks.

Over the years, Pool Repair Spain have built up excellent relationships with the local authorities and as well as well as being able to help you design your pool, they can obtain all the necessary licenses to see the project from start to finish. Their certified inspectors will visit the pool and if you have a community, public, semi public or restaurant pool they will advise you how to bring the pool up to EU Health and Safety Standards.

They also have am mobile pool shop and carry replacement pumps, filters and light switches along with many other parts, and in many cases can carry out repairs on the day that you contact them. So i f your pool needs h el p or ev en if y ou ju st n eed a li ttle a dvi ce, call 95 1 16 0 359 or 622 2 02 089 or vi sit www.pool repairspai n.com

Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t suffer another winter of Damp, Mould and Condensation.

Does your property suffer from: r .PVME HSPXUI r .PVME HSPXUI PO GVSOJUVSF r %BNQ CFEEJOH r 6OQMFBTBOU EBNQ BOE NPVME TNFMMT 5IF TPMVUJPO JT OPX BWBJMBCMF The award winning â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Positive Input Ventilationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; is a concept of delivery 24-7 fresh filtered air into your property to remove condensation and prevent black mould growth.

Following 21 years of success sales in the UK the PIV system is now available in Spain through www.dampfreeliving.com Powered by an ultra low watt DC motor it is highly energy efficient costing only ÂŁ8.80 per year (UK) and can replace the need to run expensive dehumidifiers.

Black mould growth, condensation and dampness are one of the most troublesome, recurring problems which affect all properties in Spain. As the temperatures outside falls over night humid air inside your property will condense on the colder surfaces inside. As this process continues on a daily cycle, the 'damped' moisture eventually leads to unsightly black mould on walls, the inevitable unpleasant, musty, damp atmosphere. A problem all property owners in Spain are familiar with! â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;PIVâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; units are sophisticated whole home ventilation and condensation control units. Drawing in fresh, filtered, clean air from outside, units gently ventilate the home with fresh air. Humidity is replaced and diluted to leave a healthy, fresh, clean environment to live in. The units will transform a stagnant, stale atmosphere into a fresh, healthy, condensation, mould free environment.

Tel : 635545205 e mail: Spain@dampfreeliving.com.

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November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:48 AM Page 73

teleweb internet & telephone just got better! tion for someone who lives here full time.

Do you have a wireless internet system that you are not happy with?

Teleweb will convert you over to their service at no cost. What have you got to lose?

HAVE A UK No IN SPAIN!

teleweb – “Pay as you go” internet Teleweb Internet & Telephone, has been providing wireless internet services since 2003, and in that time, has seen consistent growth and added new exciting services to its well established high speed 5GHz wireless internet service.

FLEXIBILITY: Because you do not need a land line, you can have internet on a “Pay as you go” system. There are flexible solutions ranging from 1 hour to a permanent connec-

Teleweb offers a telephone system (without the need for a landline) with calls from 1.8c per minute. It is just like a Telefonica landline without the wires. No need to have your computer on to make and receive calls. Choose a telephone number from your home country or just elect to have a Malaga number. This system will work anywhere in the world with the same low call costs, you just need an internet connection.

For more information on any of the above, please call Teleweb on 952 833 300 or Email: info@teleweb-marbella.

November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:48 AM Page 74

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November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:48 AM Page 75

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November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:48 AM Page 76

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy: 1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free y our mind from worries - Most never happen.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less NOW ------- Enough of that crap . .

The donkey later came back and bit the s**t out of the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected, and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON: When you do something wrong and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you.

Farmers Donkey

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November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:48 AM Page 77

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November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:48 AM Page 78

Puzzle It out

Solutions on page 90

Crossword Across: 6. Guess (7) 7. Models (5) 9. After-bath powder (4) 10. Colossal (10) 11. A person addicted to luxury (8) 13. Nymph loved by Apollo (6) 15. Decorative case (4) 17. Not our (5) 18. Scarce (4) 19. Voice box (6) 20. Pounding (8) 23. Turbulent (10) 26. X X X X (4) 27. Muse of love poetry (5) 28. What we blink (7) Down: 1. Strong suit (10) 2. A dwarfed ornamental tree (6) 3. List of choices (4) 4. Grandeur (8) 5. Utilized (4) 6. Frightening (5) 8. A very attractive or seductive looking woman (7) 12. Choose (5) 14. Partially paralyzed (10) 16. Slander (7) 17. Government income (8) 21. Invisible (6) 22. Requires (5) 24. A Central American sloth (4) 25. 1 1 1 1 (4)

sudoku

Brain Teaser Three people check into a hotel. They pay £30 to the manager and go to their room. The manager suddenly remembers that the room rate is £25 and gives £5 to the bellboy to return to the people. On the way to the room the bellboy reasons that £5 would be difficult to share among three people so he pockets £2 and gives £1 to each person. Now each person paid £10 and got back £1. So they paid £9 each, totalling £27.

The bellboy has £2, totalling £29.

Where is the missing £1? say What you see...

nuh nuh SALAD 78

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November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:48 AM Page 79

November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:48 AM Page 80

F I N A N C I A L Economic & Currency News...

Offshore Funds, Offshore Bonds, Offshore Trusts, Why Offshore......?

It’s likely as an expat you will have seen some form of marketing or promotion of ‘offshore’ services. Twenty years ago this may have been along the lines of numbered bank accounts, or complex systems to hide money from the tax man. These days banking secrecy is dwindling, and offshore now refers to obtaining tax efficient status for your assets.

Offshore Funds

Funds that are domiciled in offshore jurisdictions such as Dublin and Luxembourg, would be considered offshore funds. Fund managers place funds in these types of jurisdictions because it allows them to market the fund across Europe without dealing with the regulatory hoops of launching in each country. An investor can often access a more diverse fund range by going offshore. Offshore funds will generally enjoy tax free growth, including dividend tax, allowing money that would normally be lost to tax to be reinvested. The capital and gains are then paid gross to the expatriate so they can decide how and where to pay tax. Offshore funds will not be part of the UK financial services compensation scheme; however jurisdictions such as Luxembourg have similar equivalents (AGDL). They will also not be covered by the UK FSA, however Luxembourg again has a good equivalent regulatory system. It is possible to use an FSA regulated financial advisor, to gain some protection from the UK financial services authority.

Offshore Bonds

An offshore bond allows a range of assets (including investment funds) to be held within them, and the proceeds within the bond are not taxed, because on paper they are owned by the offshore life company. The bond holder can then withdraw 5% per annum (up to 100%), which is not taxed as it is considered withdrawal of capital. The expatriate is free to decide how and when to withdraw capital and gains to maximise tax efficiency.

Offshore Trusts

This involves a person (settlor) transferring assets to a company who act as trustees of the assets, for the beneficiaries (similar to how a pension wrapper works). By holding assets in trust there are taxation benefits similar to above, and also estate planning benefits. By assign beneficiaries to family members such as children, then those assets are effectively taken out of the settlor’s estate for taxation purposes. In Spain this can have significant benefits in the area of : Succession Tax, Income and Gains tax, and Wealth Tax. It can also be ring fenced to avoid UK inheritance tax.

It is important to speak to a professional advisor about all the pros and cons of offshore vehicles. Bonds and Trusts will incur administration costs, and offshore funds need to be fully understood in terms of the risk to capital.

Written by our financial expert James Alexander.

If you would like fully regulated independent financial advice please contact us – sales@costalinkmagazine.com or on 663 061 669.

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Take the hassle out of regular international money transfers If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re sending money overseas on a regular basis, getting more for your money when buying or selling currency is important - whether youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re paying for an overseas mortgage, making ongoing salary transfers or even moving your pension overseas.

However, you might also notice how time consuming and frustrating the process of sending funds overseas can be with a bank. Staff at your high street bank have neither the expertise nor the breadth of market knowledge necessary to monitor the currency markets on your behalf. When sending money overseas through your bank, you will simply have to accept the exchange rate on the day of transfer. And for regular payments, you will have to phone or visit the bank each and every time you need to make a transfer, making this way costly and time consuming.

The good news is there is an alternative. Currency market expertise is no longer restricted to bank trading floors. There are currency specialists who have teams of trained and qualified dealers who can help consumers with all forms of money transfers, no matter the size of the payment. CostaLinks choice is to use Moneycorp who have had a local office for over 8 years. We can highly recommend you contact them for a chat to see how they can help save you money, after all its better in your pocket than the banks They can be contacted on 951319700 or email at costalink@moneycorp.com.If you are in the area pop in for a chat and speak with the friendliest, professional commercial foreign exchange company on the cost.

Moneycorp, C/Jesus Puente, Local 22-23a, 29660 Puerto Banus +34 951 319 700 Please tell them Costa Link sent you

November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:49 AM Page 82

Jcars ET

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Last Year Jaguar showed Their New C-X75 a concept hybrid – part electric part Jet Engine, They have now decided to put the car into production unfortunately the jet engine is to be replaced with a 1.6-litre engine related to the four-cylinder engine Williams and other F1 teams will adopt from 2013.

However, jet powered cars are nothing new, here are some of the previous attempts!

After the WW2 Rover made a number of gas turbine powered cars. Jet 1, unveiled in 1950 reached 90mph at 50,000rpm but the fuel consumption was a poor 5 to 7mpg; it could run on petrol, diesel or paraffin. The Rover T3 could have formed the basis of an acceptable production car; it was rear-engined and had four-wheel drive, perhaps to keep a light front-end under control.

The Rover T4 looks for all the world like a modified P6 / Rover 2000 / 3500 fitted with a gas turbine engine and a Rover/BRM gas turbine powered coupe performed well in the 1963 LeMans 24 hour race, driven by Graham Hill and Richie Ginther. It averaged 107.8 mph and had a top speed of 142 mph. It ran again in 1965, Maximum rpm were 60,000!

In 1953, General Motors produced the Firebird I, which was essentially a jet aeroplane on wheels. The Firebird II in 1956, was a more practical design: a four-seat, family car. The engine output was 200 bhp. Another innovation on the car was the first use of four wheel disc brakes, with a fully independent suspension, The third design, the Firebird III, was built in 1958 with seven short wings and tail fins tested in a wind tunnel.

It is a two-seater powered by a 225 bhp gas turbine engine, and a two cylinder 10 bhp petrol engine to run all the accessories. More technical advancements included cruise control, anti-lock brakes, air conditioning and an "ultra-sonic" key which signaled the doors to open.

In 1963 Chrysler built fifty Turbine Car prototypes fitted with an engine capable of running on practically any fuel at a safe speed of 44,500 rpm, with a redline over 60,000 rpm. On regular petrol it produced 130 bhp and an immediate 430 lb-ft of torque. Once assembled, they gave them to regular citizens to test in the real world.

After field testing, Chrysler decided the public just weren’t ready for turbine power, so the company sent most of the cars to the crusher. Only nine remain.

Seven are in museums and two made it into private hands.

Jay Leno's EcoJet is a 650-horsepower Honeywell LT101 turbine engine, which sits nside a modified Corvette Z06 aluminum frame. The primary goal was to design and build a car that ran on environmentally friendly, renewable bio-diesel fuel and that didn't drive like a Prius. – It outruns a private Jet Plane! Though the car was built almost entirely at Jay's Garage, the design and engineering was actually overseen by GM

November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:49 AM Page 83

November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:49 AM Page 84

Golf Tips And Tricks D.C.E Syndrome

where 18 holes is very expensive and enjoyment of your game is value for money, so don’t ignore a problem expecting it to disappear the next time your step to the tee FIX IT

By Mark Sibley

This is a complaint suffered by many golfers it can be a short term problem easily cured or if not identified quickly will continue to repeat throughout your golfing career, making the cure required when you eventually admit to the fault a long, painful and expensive operation which must be carried out under the supervision of a qualified professional.

Distance This is where it starts the golfer starts to notice a loss of distance in his long shots from the tee, his reaction is to try to hit the ball harder, but he has lost his distance.

Control He loses control of his driver missing more fairways than he ever had before and DCE spreads through his clubs, even the trusty 5 Iron which always hit the target before cant be trusted to hit the fairway on the wide open 15th anymore, he has lost his control of the ball.

Enjoyment He turns up to play with the boys on a Saturday morning more through habit than for the game, loosing money to old Bill the only club member known to have dropped his trousers 4 times in one round for failing to drive past the ladies tee markers, he has lost his enjoyment in the game.

If you detect a problem in your game don’t let DCE Syndrome turn you into a 19th hole player:1st Head for the practice ground and try to identify the fault and practice it out.

2nd If you cant find the fault head for the professional Shop and book a lesson.

Remember this is the Costa del Golf 84

Are You Selling or Looking for Used Golf Clubs then Contact Miraflores Golf Academy Tel:- 952 939 937 Email:-info@marksibley@zoho.com

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UK QUALIFIED 15 YEARS OF COACHING EXPERIENCE LESSONS FOR ALL LEVELS OF GOLFER BEGINNER TO PLAYING PROFESSIONAL LESSON PACKAGES AVAILABLE NOW BASED AT THE MIRAFLORES GOLF ACADEMY NOW WITH FULLY STOCKED PROFESSIONAL SHOP MIRAFLORES DRIVING RANGE & GOLF ACADEMY. S/N RIVIERA DEL SOL, 29649 MIJAS COSTA. TEL: 952 933 729 OR 678 833 736

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November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:49 AM Page 85

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Limited Shares Available Available 2QO\ ¼ ,QFOXGHV 2QO\ ¼ ,QFOXGHV Â&#x2021; Share ownership Â&#x2021; Â&#x2021; )XOO SOD\LQJ ULJKWV IRU Â&#x2021; )XOO SOD\LQJ ULJKWV IRU Â&#x2021; Â&#x2021; Unlimited golf Â&#x2021; All legal fees Â&#x2021; 2UJDQLVHG VRFLDO FRPSHWLWLRQV Â&#x2021; 2UJDQLVHG VRFLDO FRPSHWLWLRQV Â&#x2021; 'LVFRXQWV LQ 5HVWDXUDQW %DU 6KRS Â&#x2021; 'LVFRXQWV LQ 5HVWDXUDQW %DU 6KRS Call Sonia now on 952 93 40 95

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November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:49 AM Page 86

November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:49 AM Page 87

November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:49 AM Page 88

KIDS STUFF Bonfire Night W Word ord Search

bonfire display fireworks sparklers guy november plot gunpowder treason remember safety parliament

88

November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:49 AM Page 89

November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 12:12 PM Page 90

Puzzle It Out Solutions FromPages 16 & 78 Crossword Solution

Just Say What You See Tuna salad Boys are back in town

Brain Teaser Originally, they paid £30, they each received back £1, they now have only paid £27.

Of this £27, £25 went to the manager for the room and £2 went to the bellboy.

Trivia Quiz Answers 1) Swim the English Channel 2) Gabrielle 3) Deborah (Debs) 4) 125 5) Niagara 6) Alice 7) Light Blue 8) Fonda 9) Phil Collins 10) Albatros 11) Venus 12) Tatties and Neeps (Potato and Swede) 13) New York 14) Chuck Berry 15) Kline 16) 0 17) Namibia 18) Volley 19) Extra Terrestrial 20) 36 21) Conservatives 22) 3 23) Orion’s Belt 24) Willow 25) 112 26) Essex 27) Morris 28) 60 29) London 30) Mars Bonus 2061

90

November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:50 AM Page 91

Finding the right car for you! www.sol-traders.com

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November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:50 AM Page 92

The Jokes page

Jokes page

What are these? A three year old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath.

“Mum”, he asked, “Are these my brains?”

“Not yet,” she replied.

Two elderly women meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time.

After inquiring about each other's health, one asked how the other's husband was doing. "Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack, and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!" "Oh dear! I'm so very sorry," replied her friend, "What did you do?" "Opened a can of peas instead."

A lady in her late 40's went to a plastic surgeon for a face lift. The Dr. told her of a new procedure called ‘The Knob.’ This small knob is planted on the back of a woman’s head and can be turned to tighten up the skin to produce the effect of a brand new facelift forever. Of course, the woman wanted ‘The Knob.’ Fifteen years later the woman went back to the surgeon with two problems. “All these years everything had been working just fine. I’ve had to turn the knob on lots of occasions and I’ve loved the results. But now I’ve developed two annoying problems. First of all, I’ve got these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won’t get rid of them.” The doctor looked at her and said, “Those aren’t bags, those are 92

your breasts.” She replied, “Well, I guess that explains the goatee.”

A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. After a relaxing dinner with his wife, they retire to the bedroom and climb into their separate beds. The man however was not yet ready for sleep. He calls over to his wife, “My little boopey-boo, I'm lonely.”

So the woman gets out of bed and crosses the room to the husband. On the way she trips on the rug and falls on her face. The husband with a concerned look on his face says, “Oh, did my little honey-woney fall on her little nosey-wosey?” The woman gets up, rubs her nose and enters the man's bed. The two make passionate love and afterwards the women climbs out. As she is returning to her bed, she once again catches her foot on the rug and falls flat on her face. The man looks over his shoulder at his wife lying on the floor and says, “Clumsy idiot.”

November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:50 AM Page 93

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November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:50 AM Page 94

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November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:50 AM Page 95

November 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 10/23/11 11:50 AM Page 96

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