DARING WOMAN FEBRUARY 2021
Embracing Your Vulnerability is Your Superpower
What I Wish White America Understood
In This Issue 8 | My Journey From Self-Repression to
23 | Black Lives Matter
Spiritual, Artistic Messenger
28 | Embracing your ‘Vulnerability’ is a
13 | Sound Mind, Active Body, Prescription
Superpower!
Drug Free
33 | Your Recovery
17 | February is Black History Month 19 | What I Wish White America Understood
Daring Woman pg 3
Letter From the Editor The past year has put us through some major turmoil with COVID, Black Lives Matter, and of course, the US election.
As we settle into 2021, now is a time for us to focus on healing. As individuals, as communities, as countries.
We’ve lived in anger and hatred for far too many centuries and it’s time to come together as a collective to empower each other. To heal each other. To love each other.
February is Black History Month and I encourage you, dear reader, to take this time to educate yourself on what it’s like being Black in our world today, especially here in America. Now is the time to listen, learn, love.
You can’t fix broken with hate. You fix broken with love, with compassion, with
Coming from a place of love and compassion, we
understanding.
tend to be more tolerant, more open minded and more willing to have conversations rather
You fix broken by creating change.
than arguments. When we come from love and compassion, we care about our fellow
And that’s what we need right here, right
humans and we stand up for what is right.
now…change.
Our society is broken. And you can’t fix broken
It won’t happen overnight, but it can and will
with anger.
happen.
Join Us in Our New Facebook Group! Click Here
Daring Woman pg 5
Contributors Julee Hunt Julee Hunt is a Worthiness Warrior who inspires audiences to transform hopelessness, exhaustion, and depression into purpose, playfulness, and meaning. She has a vision to create a world where worthiness is the way for everyone. After a job loss and life pausing illness, she devoted herself to reclaiming her worthiness becoming the leader of her life. She has appeared on the Oprah Show, the Hay House “A Trainer’s Guide to Infinite Possibilities Certification Course,” Infinite Possibilities conferences, and on multiple podcasts. Julee authored the #1 Best Selling book “You Are WORTHY! Even When You Believe Otherwise: A Guide for the Overwhelmed Perfectionist.
Kelly Robinson Kelly is a writer and a coach. With a background in social work, Kelly has built a rich career as a leader in healthcare. She has a knack for holding space for you in a way that allows for you to feel truly heard and seen. Kelly's style of motivational interviewing can help you reframe barriers allowing for you to access your true essence and potential. Added to Kelly's perspective is lived experience, she knows the courage and tenacity it takes to see and feel the truth and she knows that real healing, even thriving, is possible.
Raphaela Gilla
Raphaela Gilla is a singer, vocal-medium, musician, and spiritual guide. She was born and raised in Israel and is based in London and Berlin. Her spiritual roots are the deep inspiration for her work as a messenger from an ancient shamanic tribe. Using her heavenly gifts that come from a divine source, she channels the ancient knowledge and sound-beings through vocals, melodies, compositions, and sounds.
Daring Woman pg 6
Sabrina C. Nelson, CPC Sabrina C. Nelson, PMP, FMP, CPC is an author, motivational speaker and project management professional. As a Certified Life Coach, she provides guidance to her clients on how to tap into their greatest potential, passion and purpose. Ms. Nelson received the ‘Life Coach of The Year Award’ in London from her peers, which was a major accomplishment for her. In addition, she is committed to building communities through advocacy, volunteering with organizations committed to uplifting underserved communities. She has received numerous awards for excellence in leadership, commitment to empowering women, outstanding achievement in her industry and profession.
Jessica Bonner-Gomez Jessica holds a double-major BA in English/Communication Studies from Samford University, a MA in English from the University of Alabama at Birmingham, and a BS in Communication Science Disorders as well as a MS in Speech-Language Pathology from the University of Montevallo. Having worked as an English composition adjunct professor, tutor, and speech-language pathologist, she cherishes education and believes it should be available to all who want to receive it. Helping students see skills they probably don't recognize is a major reason she started her tutoring/editing business For Other Prizes Consulting in 2016.
Nijiama Smalls Author of The Black Girl’s Guide to Healing Emotional Wounds Series and CEO of the Emotional Wellness Hub, Nijiama Smalls is a writer, emotional coach, and speaker. She has written for various publications and spoken on numerous platforms on the topics of healing emotional wounds, emotional intelligence, self-love, and destroying generational patterns.
Yasmin Abdelsalam I’m Yasmin, an Egyptian-American Muslim born and raised in Brooklyn, New York. I recently started the Master Peace Blog to help spread more peace, love, and positivity in the world. My goal is to help you master both inner peace and world peace by tackling different mental health and social justice issues. I also love travel, fashion, and decor, so I try to share my best tips with you as I go through the journey of life!
Daring Woman pg 7
MY
JOURNEY FROM SELFREPRESSION TO SPIRITUAL, ARTISTIC MESSENGER / RAPHAELA GILLA /
THE CHOICE OF MY PARENTS AND
He, too, was unable to study and develop his talent
ANCESTORS
professionally.
Music was always deep in my blood. Since early childhood, my biggest passions have been singing
My great ancestors were talented singers and
and music. My dream was always to be a singer
cantors who sang and celebrated their connection
and musician. As a child, I felt like a stranger in
with God and the Jewish community. They had
my own family. My family never really knew who
artistic gifts but, like my parents and grandparents,
I was. I think they were afraid to see me for who I
didn’t take these skills seriously as their
truly am - a wild, highly sensitive artist. So I grew
profession, soul mission, and heavenly gift. They
up lonely, around strangers who never knew what
didn’t feel worthy. Societal pressures and
my true needs were.
expectations influenced them to choose not to believe in their artistic ability - that it could
I was born and raised in the conventional,
nourish them and their families materially and
chauvinist, patriarchal society of Israel. This
spiritually - that it could bring them beyond the
society spurned any qualities that may have
fear of survival.
been perceived as feminine - traits like showing emotion, softness, gentleness, or an ability to be
SELF REPRESSION
nurturing.
As a singer and musician, I, too, felt the expectations to be conventional - to have a
My parents both worked in the army, my mother
successful career, like my mother. I sang the same
as a high general with a very successful career.
song my ancestors before me sang - the one that
The army was only concerned with achievements,
said a successful career was based on the
fast results, and power. As a result, my parents
achievements and goals of the masculine ego. I
didn’t have much time to spend with my sister or
was supposed to be like everyone else. There was
me. We were so-called “latchkey children”.
no place nor time to be different, sensitive, spiritual, or an individualist. I was not yet ready to
My parents had also been artists before they
make my own choices, so I forced myself to adjust
decided to “be reasonable” and “work normal
to the expectations of my environment like my
jobs”. My mother was a remarkable singer, actor,
ancestors’ generations before me (and the
writer and painter. My father was a highly
conservative society I lived in) called for.
sensitive and artistic writer who was also gifted in music and art. They were influenced by the
Growing up in a family filled with dark secrets,
expectations of their parents and society to be
both mental and physical (unspoken) sicknesses,
financially safe in this world. When they made
felt like being raised underneath a dark shadow
this decision, they weren’t able to consider the
- one filled with loneliness, suffering, shame,
high spiritual price that they would ultimately pay
guilt, sadness, neglect, isolation, and rejection.
for their “practical choice”. Could it be that everyone in my family were Their series of “practical choices” began with my
disconnected from their souls, too? That they were
grandmother - a talented singer who gave up her
divided from their instincts, or worse,
passion to make a living as a cleaning woman. She
disconnected and divided from their souls’ paths?
did what she needed to in order to survive. My
Could it be that the deep sorrow and suffering was
grandfather was a draftsman who invented
not just mine?
machines and sketched technological designs.
Daring Woman pg 9
Was I feeling the suppressed pain and suffering of
in order to grow and self-actualize. For most of
the many generations before me?
my life, I hadn’t been able to hear the call of my Spiritual Guides. When I first heard my inner
On one hand, my family members recognized my
voice, I didn't believe or trust it, and I was afraid
talents, my high spiritual sensitivity, and my
of it.
artistic gifts — but on the other hand, they still expected me to be a “good girl” and go in the
But no matter how much fear, doubt, or mistrust
“reasonable” direction they and their parents had
consumed me, I did not give up. I remained open-
chosen to go. And for many years, I suppressed
hearted as I began holistic vocal lessons with
my own inner voice, remained separated from my
a shaman teacher who helped me open the gates to
own instincts, and divided from my true inner
my true power and to Mother Earth. I took
being. I wanted to satisfy their expectations and
alternative dance and Yoga classes, which opened
needs. I wanted to be a good girl. I wanted to
my body and soul even more to the spirituality
belong and be loved by my dominant mother and
that had always been strongly planted in my true
deteriorating father.
being. With these practices, I became ready to receive the messages and signs that were sent to
Over time, I understood that my parents and their
my soul to show me the right path. The call from
parents weren't aware of other possibilities, and as
the spiritual world got stronger and louder. My
a result, they allowed fear to control their life's
spiritual guides answered my endless questions,
choices. The talents they recognized in me forced
showing me the way back home to my instincts
them to face the suppressed side of themselves.
and my soul’s path.
After a lengthy and challenging process of forgiveness after my parents’ passing, I ultimately
With soft, gentle tones immersed in unconditional,
made peace with them, and more importantly,
eternal love, I heard them say "We will speak and
with myself.
sing to you until you hear us”. I couldn't ignore it, but I was so scared - terrified to lose control and
LISTENING TO THE INNER CALLING: MY
all that I thought I was. Their direction was
INDEPENDENT CHOICE
entirely new, yet somehow familiar to me at the
After finishing my formal music and vocal studies,
same time.
I formed my own rock band, where I served as both leader and songwriter. My true nature, my
EARLY EXPERIENCES WITH MY
soul, and my instincts were forces to be reckoned
SPIRITUAL GUIDES
with! They started to appear in my dreams at night
My first spiritual awakening was in 1996.
and knocked on the doors of my heart. They began
My first date with my spiritual guides was a
presenting options that were not influenced by my
painful chaos - spirit and body meet for the first
biological family, my society, or what I used to
time after many years of separation. They want to
know.
get married, and the soul is the matchmaker. This reunion felt like a new birth, which included pain -
It took a lot of courage, strength, and faith to go
I felt I was losing my identity. My mind opened
on my own special way. I began to ask questions
up for multi-dimensional messages about what I
and search for answers in the spiritual world, as I
was like in my past incarnations and what will
wasn’t receiving answers in my normal
happen in the world tomorrow. I predicted
environment. My instincts were calling me to
events reported in the news the day before they
wake up, to hear what my talents and gifts needed
happened.
Daring Woman pg 10
I drew biometric forms and schemas in a way of
DAILY PRACTICES
automatic, channeled writing. I heard a voice in
Since our blessed introduction, I have dates with
my mind that told me to stay calm, remember who
my Guardian Angel often. I’ve learned to see and
I am, and stay centered.
understand its angelic messages, the energetic, sacred meaning of numbers, how to hear and sing
I was visually presented a demon, my shadow,
its music, and to feel its loving presence. The
above my left shoulder and an angel, my light,
meetings with my angel uplift me, and from now
above my right shoulder. Two polar sides
on, they continually bring me more heavenly love
coexisted inside of me and said, “Now make a
and joy.
choice between us.” It was as if something had possessed me. I thought that I would split in half!
In 2010, I started to receive messages and
It was terrifying. Did I have two personalities? I
information about my highest soul purpose and the
began to worry I was suffering from
service that I'm here for. I felt the essential
schizophrenia, but underneath the fear and noise,
presence of Divine Feminine deep in my body and
there was a protective voice in my head again. It
spirit, and I learned the role I would play in
was my own personal guardian angel!
bringing this Ancient Goddess wisdom back into the world.
I chose the angel on my right side. The Heavenly Team Of Spiritual Guides I work Thus began my spiritual healing journey. It came
with today speak through my voice, my music
to me so strongly and clearly because I asked for it
and, my messages. They help me every day. They
and was ready, but I didn't yet have a clue how to
say I'm the only living, creative artist left from my
use these powerful gifts. They had been with me
family and ancestors - I’m singing their unheard
my entire life but, until this point, they remained
voices. These beings from Higher Dimensions
deeply suppressed inside me. I didn't know
support me and communicate with me - I hear
how to use the spiritual power I was born with.
their melodies, messages and sounds, and I
Inside, I felt confusion mixed with a loss of
channel them to the world. Ancient Shaman
identity, and I knew I had to heal myself
beings, ancient Goddesses, energies, my Guiding
somehow.
Star, angels, archangels, unicorns, fairies, my Ancestors, and the beautiful souls of my parents
And then She came into my life, shining bright on
are all a part of my beloved Spiritual Guides.
me like a Morning Star - a holistic doctor for the
They all help me to radiate love, healing, and
mind, soul and spirit. This woman was
balance in myself and the world.
my spiritual mother, my sister, and my salvation. She was also a writer who gave me her poems to
Now, every day is a date with my beloved helper
put to music and turn into songs. Both she and
team. I wouldn't be who I am today without their
these songs guided my soul to know, cherish and
eternal support and the steps I’ve taken to
love myself. They brought me balance, healing,
reconnect with myself.
and freedom. Together they showed me the way back home to me! I am so grateful to have met my Spiritual Guiding Star before she was transferred to the other dimension.
Daring Woman pg 11
RELEASING TRAUMA a survivor's podcast
Tracey Osborne www.ReleasingTraumaPodcast.com
SOUND MIND, ACTIVE BODY, PRESCRIPTION DRUG FREE BY JULEE HUNT
Age is just a number! When you are asked to
There are many people my age group that are
rate a product, the higher the number the
living the “TV ads life”. They don’t feel
better the product. Shouldn’t it be true when
good. They are constantly in pain and take
it comes to age? The higher the number the
prescription drugs to ease the pain. They
better version of ourselves we are?
move slower and have trouble bending over. It feels like they have given up and are
You can watch TV ads and see that society
waiting to die. I don’t know about you,
views old age as a picture of aches and pains,
but I’m in the prime of my life. I expect to
lots of prescription drugs, and the inability to
be a centenarian. That’s right baby, I expect
get up on your own. You watch those ads too
to hit the triple digits.
long and you can start to believe that is the truth about old age.
THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SIMPLY BEING ALIVE AND ACTUALLY LIVING. I am in my sixties and feel great! My vision
What is the difference between me and
of old age is sound mind, active body, and
others living the “TV ad life”? Could it be
prescription drug free. I believe that I will be
their attitude about life or their lifestyle?
able to continue to do the activities I like to
Maybe. There are a few things I do to keep
do now until I die. My body loves movement
my vision alive and well as new candles are
and functions better when I give it some
added to the cake each year.
every day! My husband and I are big hikers and practice yoga several times a week. We
Meditation
also like to ride bicycles exploring the
It is important for me to take a minimum of
beauty along the way.
fifteen minutes a day to sit in silence and listen to Inner Wisdom fill my mind and soul with life affirming thoughts.
Daring Woman pg 14
Meditation helps me focus and centers me when
Journaling goes hand in hand with my meditation.
things seem chaotic. It helps me gain perspective and manage stress. I feel more calm, peaceful, and
Gratitude Walk
balanced. It eliminates information overload and
I walk or hike at least five times a week. Nature
requires no special equipment or locale like a
fills my soul and no matter where I’m walking, I
gym. Meditation can be done anywhere – even
can find beauty. My phone is filled with photos of
on the bus while commuting to work. These few
flowers, trees, clouds, sunsets, sunrises, and
minutes benefit my emotional wellbeing and
architecture that lift my spirits. While walking, I
overall health. It starts my day off in a relaxing
list my gratitude. Gratitude makes my heart
mode and the benefits started during my
soar. It is an easy-to-use tool that can be used to
meditation carry throughout my day.
lift you from the doldrums to feeling like you can walk on water. No matter how glum the situation
Journaling
feels, when you stop, look around you, and list
Journaling is my respite. My favorite is Spew
five things to be grateful for, your whole
Journaling, an exercise I recommend to my
perspective on life changes.
clients. That’s right, I use the same tools for myself as I do for my coaching clients.
Movement While a gratitude walk is movement, there are
Let’s say I get angry, disappointed, or upset about
other activities that also keep me feeling youthful
something. I can feel the heat rising in my body
at my higher ages.
and the thoughts in my head spiraling out of control. The best thing for me to do is sit down
Yoga keeps my body parts functioning
and dump all that onto paper. That stuff does not
properly and my core strong.
belong in your head and when you write it on
Weight training keeps me strong so I can
paper it removes it from your mind to the paper.
pick-up my twenty-five-pound granddaughter.
Then you can burn the paper or shred it. That
Stretching throughout the day keeps my body
takes the anger and dissipates it into thin air.
from getting stiff. Even a younger person who sits too long will get stiff.
Journaling not only helps me remove anger from
Crawling on the floor with my granddaughter
my mind, but it also helps me figure things out. If
is reward for regular movement.
I’m having trouble making a decision, I journal it out. I put down all the pros and cons and my
Being sedentary is one of those things that ages a
feelings. When I read through it, clarity comes
body quickly. Get out and move!
into focus. In my journal you will also find celebrations, gratitude, and how I choose to lead
Positive Thinking
my life. I like to set my day in motion with
Negativity can envelop us. It is everywhere we
sentences like:
look – the news, social media, and advertising. If these are your top three activities (see below) first
Today I choose to gift everyone I see with a smile. Today I choose to be positive in my thoughts,
thing in the morning, by the time you get to work you have been beaten down to feeling like a worthless piece of dirt.
words, and actions. Today I choose to see magnificence in the face of every person I encounter including myself. Daring Woman pg 15
Think about it.
One of her dear friends comes by at 6:30am to join her. I see them often on one of my gratitude walks.
Your alarm goes off, you rollover, pick-up your phone and scroll through social media.
An eighty-five-year-old from my old church still
You start comparing your life to the life of
travels the world, goes on deep sea fishing
others and think you just don’t measure up to
excursions, cross-country skis, enjoys
others.
woodworking, and lives life to the fullest.
Then you scroll through the news and this leaves you feeling fearful, hopeless, and out of
My seventy-seven-year-old neighbor still rides
control.
horses, swims laps in her pool, and runs a grass-
You hop in your car and listen to advertising
fed cattle ranch.
that tells you that if you are not fat-free, grayfree, or wrinkle-free, you are not enough.
Eileen Ash of Norwich is 105. She has been doing yoga for thirty years and drives herself around in
STOP this morning routine and choose
her yellow Mini Cooper. You can find
a more positive one.
the BBC article about her here https://www.bbc.com/news/av/uk-england-
Read something uplifting instead of scrolling through social media.
norfolk-37775585, and read all about her at Wikipedia. She has no aches and pains when she
Meditate and journal instead of reading the
wakes up and she does not feel old. Her secret is
news.
healthy eating, yoga, and two glasses of red wine
Listen to positive affirmations or podcasts on
daily.
your commute. Aside from the five things I listed above as part of I promise the second morning routine will age you
my feeling young while my age increases, I eat a
less quickly. You will have a more positive
healthy diet of fresh foods and enjoy an occasional
outlook on life and likely lose those wrinkle
glass of red wine. If I feel an ache in my body, I
furrows between your brows. You will also start
know it is caused by inflammation from
seeing more positive things happen in your day
something I ate so I eliminate that food or at
because your focus has changed from negative to
least eat it infrequently. Aches and pains are not
positive. Where you focus matters on how you
required!
age! They say the longer whiskey ages, the smoother it Conclusion
gets. I believe that can be true about us as we age
When I changed my focus from society’s
too! Age is just a number. Keep your mind, body,
definition of old age to mine – sound mind, active
and soul ageless by eating healthy, meditating,
body, prescription drug free, I started to see
journaling, thinking positive thoughts, staying
evidence of people living like this in their
active, and doing things you enjoy. You
seventies, eighties, nineties and beyond. My own
too, can arrive at old age with a sound mind,
Dad did not start taking prescription drugs until
active body, and prescription drug free. What is
his late eighties.
that number anyway? Eileen Ash wonders when old age will hit her. I’m choosing to join her
My eighty-year-old neighbor rides her bike 5+ miles each day along the country roads.
Daring Woman pg 16
in that belief!
I wish white people openly acknowledged the
I mention all of this to state that I wish white
issues
people would listen to and acknowledge the
of
Black
people,
especially
when
a
Black person brings them up. There have been
concerns of Black people because ignoring
countless times in 2020 that I have brought up
stated concerns is disrespectful, in my opinion.
racial injustices pertaining to myself and others on my social media pages or in messages, and
Also, if being seen negatively by people in
most white people seeing the information say
their in-group is holding them back from
NOTHING. They look and go on about their
speaking accordingly, I wish white people
day. Further, several of the go on to make
would reflect on the fact that they still have
social media posts pertaining to fun or exciting
more privilege than Black people in society
things happening in their life. In other words,
and should reflect on how their actions (or lack
pretty
thereof) can impact Black people long term.
much
none
of
their
posts
speaks
on
societal injustices. I can tell especially from my Facebook and Instagram stories who are all
Ultimately, none of us can truly unite if we're
looking at my stories. Many viewers are white.
not listening to one another and having difficult yet necessary conversations. Only when we get
Also, regarding messages on social media, I
to this point, in addition to self-education, will
recall a white colleague in my industry saying
we have a shot at ending racism.
something
along
[Instagram fathom The
the
lines
influencer]
monetizing
grandmother
"it's
sad
grandmother
her in
of
couldn't
homemaking
question
was
his Jessica Bonner-Gomez
skills."
a
Black
woman who had to clean white people's houses back in the 80s and 90s. When I pointed out that
the
grandmother
monetizing (implying
due
to
racial
couldn't
the
time
fathom she
discrimination
lived was
the in still
prevalent in the 80s and 90s), my colleague completely ignored the statement and went on to
say
something
like,
"It's
great
all
the
resources we have today can allow us to have more
opportunities
today."
Though
the
colleague meant well, her action of ignoring the statement just hurt and aggravated me.
Perhaps she didn't want to offend me and tried to avoid saying anything; or, maybe she felt too uncomfortable to say anything. Whatever the case, I was left feeling unheard.
Daring Woman pg 18
What I Wish White America Understood by Nijiama Smalls
Daring Woman pg 19
One can not deny that there is quite a bit of
Fast forward to the 1980s. A new challenge in
tension and division that is present within our
the form of "chemical warfare" was launched
country
against Black America yet again. This chemical
today.
There's
lots
of
blame
being
passed around and fingers pointed. The noise
warfare was crack cocaine; and once it hit the
that appears to be the most prevalent, however,
mainstream, it was deemed "an epidemic"; and
is the echo of white America that ridicules
again the police were called upon to patrol the
protestors
black community and arrest dealers and users
and
rioters
and
denounces
the
existence of systematic racism. Yet, not many
alike. However, instead of enforcing the law,
have stopped to listen or seek to understand the
white officers such as Michael Dowd and Ken
perspective
Eurell stole supplies from lower-level drug
of
someone
like
me,
a
Black
American woman.
dealers, made bribes, and committed murder. Because we have seen them at the worst (up
I wish our white counterparts would seek to
close and personal), Black America does not
understand
exists
place our faith nor trust that police will uphold
Black
its obligations to serve and protect us. That is
Americans continue to suffer from generational
why we kneel, run from the police, and speak
trauma
out candidly against their brutality.
within
racial
the
black
that
was
trauma
and
how
community.
handed
to
it
Many
us
from
the
institution of slavery and the civil rights era; the ghosts of voter suppression; the murder of
Additionally, when we hear of racial injustice or
Emmit Till; KKK hangings, which included
police brutality, we are re-traumatized. When
some of our own family members; sundown
we see our white counterparts make abortion a
towns; and Jim Crow laws that still haunt us
priority or make re-electing an intolerant
today.
president primary; or when there seems to be
We have not had an opportunity to heal
because we had to focus on providing for our
more concern over a riot or destroyed property
families
than the loss of a black life, we feel the sting of
as
well
as
getting
and
remaining
ahead.
betrayal from our white neighbors, friends, colleagues, and business partners as they fail to
I wish our white counterparts understood Black
acknowledge systematic racism because it
America's
doesn't impact them in the same way it does us.
relationship
with
police.
In
the
1700s, the police were created in North and
Understand, White America, that your white
South Carolina to patrol areas to assure slaves
skin and resume-friendly name protects you
did not revolt, rebel, or escape. After slavery
from it.
was abolished legally, police then turned their efforts
to
bullying
and
tormenting
Black
Because the conversations are not being had, it
America. They enforced segregation, exploited
leaves us to wonder, "Is there fear driving this
the shadow of night awaiting opportunities to
behavior?" Do they see us as competition or as
taunt black Americans, and brutally beat and
those that will take something from them?
sprayed peaceful protestors with water hoses and tear gas on Bloody Sunday.
We wish our white counterparts would be an ally for us and not fear us as we provide competition or take something away. If White America is to extend us anything it would be, our hope that it is, empathy as we heal.
Daring Woman pg 20
Daring Woman pg 22
BLACK LIVES MATTER by Yasmin Abdelsalam
2020
has
been
a
year
filled
with
a
lot
of
Although many people have stopped talking
sadness, grief, anger, and loss. It was a year
about this issue, the families and loved ones of
filled
the Black lives lost continue to suffer. The
with
many
life-changing
events
that
impacted so many people. From COVID 19, to
fight is not over. We need to keep going. Here
the
are some ways to stay updated and connected
Biden-Harris
win,
to
the
Black
Lives
Matter Movement protests, this year will be
to the Black Lives Matter movement.
one that we will not forget.
As a matter of fact, many of these issues are
Trigger Warning: Some of these stories and
still ongoing. Black Lives are still being lost to
cases may include details of violent or
police brutality and other hate-related crimes
potentially disturbing content. Please be
across the US and the world.
advised and proceed carefully.
Daring Woman pg 23
Four Black Lives Matter Cases that Need
3. Demand that the Franklin County Sheriff’s
Your Help:
Department Immediately start wearing body cameras.
Although it might be too late to bring back some of these individuals, many of their cases still remain open and their stories and lives are
How you can help: Call key officials and push the
being remembered in order to push for change.
community demands. The numbers to call can
These are just some of the countless number of
be found in @soyouwanttptalkabout’s post.
Black lives affected by police brutality and
“So you want to talk about Casey
racism in America.
Goodson” Instagram Post
Casey Goodson
Dustin Higgs
Casey Goodson was a 23-year-old man from
Dustin John Higgs is a 48-year-old Black man
Columbus, Ohio. Goodson was killed in front
that is scheduled to be executed on January 15,
of his grandmother’s house after picking up
2021 (Martin Luther King Jr.s Birthday) for a
sandwiches for his family.
crime he did not commit.
Jason Meade, the Franklin County Sheriff’s
In 1996, three women were murdered in
Deputy who murdered Goodson, was
Maryland and Dustin Higgs was wrongfully
working for the US Marshal's fugitive task
blamed and sentenced to death for the murders
force looking for violent offenders at the time
in 2001. Higgs was later found not guilty. The
of the incident.
witnesses, including Willis Hayes, the man who killed the girls, confirm his innocence.
According to reports, there was a verbal exchange in which Meade asked Goodson to
Officials are still holding him because they
‘drop his gun’ as he was entering his home.
claim that he was at the scene of the crime and
Goodson was legally armed, however, as he
that he pushed Hayes to commit the crime,
had a concealed carry permit. Goodson had no
although Hayes says this is false. Haynes is
criminal history and his death was in no way
currently serving life in prison.
justifiable. Yet, as Columbus officials conducted an investigation, they already had in mind that the shooting was justifiable. As a
How you can help: Visit savedustinhiggs.com to learn more
result, the case was reopened and even the
about his case and how you can help stop this
Department of Justice became involved.
unfair execution. Contact the US Department of Justice to
The Community’s Demands:
put a halt to his execution. Find the
1. Demand transparency from both the
numbers and script here.
Franklin County Sheriff’s Office and the
Sign this petition to #SaveDustinHiggs.
Columbus Police Department in every step of
“So you want to know about Dustin
this case
Higgs”
2. Demand they arrest and charge Jason Meade
Follow @savedustinhiggs on Instagram to stay updated.
Daring Woman pg 24
Pervis Payne
@JusticeForUs Linktr.ee
Pervis Payne, who has an intellectual
2020 Issues Carrd
disability, has spent 32 years on death row in
Accounts to Follow on Instagram
Tennessee.
@breatheofficialpage @shouttheirname
In June 1987, Payne was waiting for his
@alex.albadree
girlfriend to come home in her house. He heard that her neighbors had been brutally attacked
Andre Hill
and went over to help them. Then, the police
Andre Hill was a 47-year-old Black man from
arrived and arrested him. He was convicted of
Columbus, OH. He was killed on December 22,
murder and sentenced to death. He is currently
2020, after the police gunned him down in a matter
set to be executed on April 9th, 2021.
of 10 seconds. He was only holding his phone and was wearing a Black Lives Matter shirt when he
The Shelby County District Attorney Amy
was killed.
Weirich is opposing DNA testing in the case. They refused to test DNA that could prove his
The officer who shot Andre, 44-year-old Adam
innocence. Prosecutors have used racial fears
Coy, was responding to a non-emergency call about
and stereotypes to paint Payne as a ‘violent
a vehicle in a garage whose lights were being turned
Black man who tried to take advantage of a
off and on. Officer Coy shot Andre only seconds
white woman.’ No evidence supports this
after arriving in front of this garage, as Andre
theory.
walked out of it with his hands up. Coy claims, of course, to have mistaken the phone in Andre’s hand
How you can help:
for a gun.
Call 202-353-1555 and select option 9. The script can be found on
He shot him and then paced down the street, rather
@sotypicalgrace’s TikTok.
than administering any kind of first aid. Hill was
Text TEAMPAYNE to 52886
left on the floor for five minutes before he received
Sign the petition.
any help.
Read more about the case here. Things to Know and Phone Banking Script by @breatheofficialpage
Coy is a 19-year veteran who has nearly 200 complaints on his record and who cost the city of Columbus nearly $45,000 as a result of his use of
Other Resources: Know Their Names: Black People Killed
excessive force against a victim in 2012. Mayor Andrew Ginther has called for his suspension.
by the Police, an interactive guide Know Their Names: 164 Black people killed in the US in the first 8 months.
In the Letter to Columbus Mayor Ginther from Queer Partnership for Black Liberation, they
Part One
point out the complete disregard for human rights
Part Two
and safety that the department and Chief Thomas
Black Lives Matter Ways You Can Help
Quinlan displayed over the years.
Carrd
Daring Woman pg 25
“Quinlan promised a department that would
These are only four of the countless number of
operate according to 5 core values: Integrity,
individuals and cases to support and fight for.
Compassion, Accountability, Respect, and Excellence... Six months into Chief Quinlan’s
There is still so much that needs to be done in the
tenure (which was in fact 24 months into his
fight for racial justice in the US, and we need
command when you consider the 18 months he
everyone’s help to win. So, keep showing up for
spent as interim chief), it was clear that the
your Black friends, family, and neighbors, and keep
police division he promised had not been
pushing for racial equality across the nation.
realized. Compassion, accountability, respect, and excellence were all absent from the sustained interactions between CDP and protesters throughout June.”
The Queer Partnership for Black Liberation, as do many other organizations, points out that the issue is not lack of training. Coy was a 19 year trained veteran, who also happened to have dozens of civilian complaints on his file.
The issue is that the system is designed to target and discriminate against Black people and POC, which it is successfully doing.
According to the letter, the community demands are as follows:
Fire Chief Quinlan Fire Public Safety Director Nedd Pettus. Pettus is responsible for approving the return for work of many officers with histories of complaints and use of excessive force. Fire Officer Coy (Success) *As of December, 28, Coy was fired by Pettus just hours after declining to attend a disciplinary hearing. Suspend without pay every officer who failed to render aid to Andre Hill Present the public with a framework for reconstructing the Division of Police.
How you can help: How to Help Excel Sheet Daring Woman pg 25
www.BecomingHerBook.com
EMBRACING YOUR ‘VULNERABILITY’ IS A SUPERPOWER! BY SABRINA C. NELSON, CPC
As we embark upon this New Year ahead of
I implore you to take inventory of every aspect
us, lets pause for a moment to embrace all that
of your life. Ascertain what has served
we’ve endured, overcome and accomplished in
a purpose, and unearth your fierce vulnerability
2020. We are so deserving and worthy of being
to emerge as your authentic-self. Now that’s
recognized and applauded for our courage,
your true superpower!
strength and resilience. This Brene Brown quote resonates within my Now that a new year has begun, are you ready
soul; “Vulnerability is the best measure
to start a “new chapter” in this journey called
of courage. The person pulling the strings
“Life?” Every day we have the opportunity to
underneath fear is vulnerability.” I began to
create our own reality. We all have choices to
realize that when we are vulnerable, it truly
make -- today’s decisions are tomorrow’s
demonstrates your courage not weakness -- by
realities. What are you choosing for your life
leaning uncertainty and allowing yourself to be
today, tomorrow and your future?
emotionally exposed.
We cannot start any new phase or season in
Yes, this may frighten you at first, but
our life, if we keep re-reading the last
eventually you will conquer that fear and allow
chapter of our unfolding life story. It’s time to
your life to unfold naturally. A caterpillar
get comfortable with leaning into your
cannot become a butterfly without releasing
vulnerability to expose what’s behind that
itself from their cocoon.
mask -- utilize it as your secret weapon and forge ahead with courage!
Daring Woman pg 29
It may feel uncomfortable at first, but the
future; and I fully embrace starting a new
pressure of being stuck inside a confined space,
chapter in my life.”
will ultimately become unbearable. But eventually it finds an opening, gently breaking
Always remember, you can accomplish
through those walls to reveal the beauty that
anything if you are willing to P.U.S.H:
was morphed inside. P – Persevere Like a butterfly, you become this beautiful
U – Until
infinite being that has tapped into unlimited
S – Something
potential and soaring to new levels.
H – Happens
“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” ~ Maya Angelou
Now you are equipped with a different mindset
I want you to realize that you matter and are
and you become fully aware of the infinite
enough. Stand firm when you say “No” and for
possibilities that have been placed in your path.
your “Yes”; with anyone that stands in the way
I want you to be bold, daring and courageous,
of your progress. Create boundaries with
it’s time to step into your greatness!
everyone and do not budge when someone challenges the boundaries you’ve set for
Make this pledge to your self right now,
yourself.
“Today I close the door completely to my past. I’m taking a ‘leap of faith’ while walking
We are all a ‘work in progress” and
confidently through that open door to my
continue to strive to become that “work of art”
Daring Woman pg 30
that we can be proud of and truly embrace.
Some of our best qualities are hidden beneath
Remain true to yourself; stay focused on your
the surface -- tap into your unique
goals as you continue to create your new
gift and allow your brilliance to emerge.
chapter, on this amazing journey called life. Always, choose to make your well being
However, while becoming a “work of art” we
the number one priority. When you invest in
must be honest with ourselves, and fully
yourself, you will ultimately reap
embrace the transformation process. Change
the benefit of your wise choices.
begins when we refuse to remain stuck and become that fierce woman who uses
Your mind is the most valuable real estate,
“vulnerability as her secret weapon!”
never allow negative beliefs to rent space in your head. Water your mind with positive
I have encountered numerous setbacks,
thoughts every day to grow and nourish your
roadblocks, and delays in various areas of my
soul. When you change your thoughts,
life. But I realized that delays are not denials
ultimately you will transform your life!
and failure is the best thing you can experience. Ultimately, I turned my wounds into wisdom
You are the architect and master builder of
and stumbling blocks into stepping-stones.
your life. Never allow doubt or self-limiting beliefs to prevent you from building on your
Show yourself some grace and use your
success. Every day you have another
valuable life lessons to propel you into
opportunity to continue building on your
the next level of success. I want you to make
foundation, and choosing the contents you
your life a “success story” because it’s not
place inside your mind.
about one big accomplishment or final destination. It’s a lifetime quest to achieve your
Please keep in mind the blue print you initially
fullest potential.
started can be revised at anytime. You can change or modify any aspect of your plan, but
As you continue on your journey to achieving
remain focused on the ultimate goal.
your goals, you’ll experience uncertainty and fear – but sometimes you must “Do It Afraid!”
The depth of your dreams and your
Remember if you have a pulse, then you have a
commitment to achieving your goals, measures
purpose.”
the size of your success.
Daring Woman pg 31
If you want to succeed in life, you have to
I believe that one of the greatest attributes of a
“starve your distractions and feed your focus.”
woman that embraces all of who she has become, is to be a servant to her gift. There’s
Never forget your ‘Why’ and that you don’t
no greater reward than to make ‘direct
have to wait until you’ve reached a certain
deposits’ of encouragement and inspiration in
milestone to celebrate your success. Dare to
someone’s life.
dream big with conviction and celebrate each and every step along your journey.
It is my hope that by sharing these insightful words, it will serve as a catalyst to embracing
Age is just a number, it’s never too late to
being more vulnerable – and a source of
pursue your passion, dream bigger dreams and
motivation while on your journey to becoming
become more courageous with making bold
“the best version of yourself!”
moves. You have a new story to write and it looks nothing like your past!
Now, are you ready to begin a new chapter in your life with fierce vulnerability? I’m rooting for you to win and become the woman you were meant to be in the world.
Daring Woman pg 32
YOUR RECOVERY BY KELLY ROBINSON
Hey‌
Learning this skill will help to carry you through. There will be ample opportunities to
I've been thinking about you and your
practice. :)
recovery. Oh my goodness, your courage! Sweet I've drafted a few letters, all of them so far,
girl. It needs to be acknowledged. It takes
too many words.
such incredible bravery and tenacity to do this work. Sometimes it feels like you're healing
How to condense it all into a brief pep talk?
generations of deep wounds and oppression.
I'm wishing I could infuse in you all the confidence that matches who you are.
It's a lot and it's not for the faint of heart, but oh my goodness, I'm telling you it's SO worth
I wish I could alleviate any pain you're feeling
it.
and reassure you that you've totally got this. I realize that me telling you now how to move
I feel like this is a promise I can make.
the pain, use the pain, integrate the pain - is probably not helpful and sounds like bs but I
How about now is the time to create your tool
don't know how to support you from here,
kit? Listing the ingredients of a toolkit like a
so I keep writing.
recipe oversimplifies recovery work I know, but maybe it will help. I learned it's wise to
You are such a bright light. It seems impossible
gather your resources now to be best prepared
that you would have no real understanding of
for the tough moments.
your beauty. Although...you must have a sliver of knowing, or you wouldn't be asking these
There are moments of this work that require
questions and seeking these truths. I see the
stamina and the ability to grit your teeth and
veils are lifting for you. This means you see
muster through, these moments also require
the tough stuff, but then also, you get to see the
having a lineup of resources in place.
light too. I'm not sure if it's a fair comparison but it You will realize the timing is something
seems to me it's like that of delivering a baby.
to trust and that there is perfection in this, that
It's labourious and scary. There is an aspect of
our bodies and minds know intuitively when to
recovery work that can leave you feeling
recover. The timing of this work actually
trapped. Then you realize the only way out is
reinforces my faith in greater things. Trust in
through. There are moments when you
this and allow.
wouldn't wish this work on your worst enemy. You need to be prepared for these times and
Speaking of allow. The skill of allowing
the hours when you need to bare down.
will be key. Learning to lean back and let go, breathing into the present moment and
Also like delivering a baby, the reward is
allowing what is.
enlightening. It leads to beauty, love and
Daring Woman pg 34
wholeness. It leads to peace and freedom and
glow of a candle light, sipping from a warm
more feelings at that end of the continuum that
sappy cup of tea. The wind could blow all
definitely reward the effort. When you realize
around on the outside and I took no notice,
that peace and freedom was, and is, always
I was safe inside. These visualizations along
there, you find it easier and easier to find your
with breath work can definitely help. What
way back to that space.
does your safe spot look like? Feel like?
I've already gone on too long but I will offer
- Use breath work to bring yourself back to the
the safety kit ingredients that worked for me
moment. There are lots of great 'how to' videos
just in case the information can be of use to
on breath work. The benefits of this practice
you.
makea positive difference for sure.
- Find good help. It's good to find a
- Connect with nature. There is all sorts
trained listener and guide if you can. Ask your
of evidence reminding us that moving outside
helpers to find you other helpers till you find
in the freshest air possible among nature boosts
the right fit.
our wellness.
- Surround yourself with the people in your life
- Research - YouTube, articles, books. There
who love and accept you unconditionally and
is a lot of good information out there. Find and
nourish you with their presence.
gather the information that helps you and resonates with you.
- Have at the ready a crisis line # - Ideally the teams answering these lines are well-trained
- Creativity - Invest in activities that allow
and incredibly supportive, they will know how
you to express yourself. Creating safe
to hold space for you. Dial around till you find
opportunities, like journaling, where you can
the most supportive line.
tell your story and move your feelings, this can help to process and shift energy.
.- Use your imagination to design your safe space in your mind where you can go when
- Laugher and music
you need a reprieve in the scary and unsettling moments. Detail for yourself, what are the
- Light candles and listen to soundtracks
images you see, hear, feel in this safe space?
you've created for different moods playing loudly. Find people who have depth and who
I have created many scenes for myself as I
can be silly and funny. You're meant to be
trained my mind and body how to ground
bubbling over with laughter.
myself from a fear-based spiral. For example, if scary thoughts were overtaking my thinking
- Practice meditation - Meditation can be much
I'd go to my hang out spot in the trunk of a
easier and a lot less intimidating than what
tree. I have details of the scene etched in my
people often think. Again, there is a lot of
mind, an image of a little version of myself
guidance available online. Find what resonates.
curled up inside a cozy tree trunk, warm with a
Daring Woman pg 35
I will say, practicing meditation and learning to
Consider that there is a window of possibility
come back to presence might be one of the
that your ego-driven-mean-self talk is invalid
most impactful helpers for me in my personal
can create space to replace those thoughts with
growth.
thinking that is more generous and kind.
- Be present.
Consider talking to yourself the way you'd talk to a child or a friend. In turn, that kindness will
- Along with meditation, the skill of staying
lead you to wholeness. You will learn to use
grounded in the 'here and now' becomes so
any triggers, resistance or pain that come up as
important.
gifts guiding you toward new opportunities to heal.
Most of us are addicted to the fight or flight state of being. We have our defense
- Faith. Consider deeply what you believe,
mechanisms at the ready, analyzing the past
what about your worldview gives you comfort
and worrying about the future.
and practice leaning on the beauty of just that.
Learning how to get out of your head and
I wonder if through mindfulness practice and
ground yourself into your body and into the
meditation you will see that your true essence
moment regularly through the day will serve
is connected to the source of it all. You will see
you well.
the paradoxical nature of the human experience.
- Self awareness and habit change. While being mindful, you will learn to be the observer. You
Whether you're on your knees in surrender to
will learn to pay close attention and to witness
what is excruciating, or leaned back arms open
in real time your mean self talk and destructive
to the sky in elation - our true essence is vast
thinking. Once you're able to slow down
and spacious and encompasses all.
enough to be in the moment you can keep a bit of a 'thought inventory'. Noticing how and
You will come to know you are safe in the
when you project your core assumptions of
vulnerability of this beautiful truth.
not-enoughness or feeling not okay. That's a lot eh? Now I'm thinking it's silly This noticing will help you re-write your
of me to try to summarize something so
narrative. You will be able to catch yourself in
complex in one letter.
the moment and offer kindness instead. You can learn to poke some holes in the negative
All that to say, I love you. I see you. You've
self talk with 'what if?' questions.
totally got this.
Please reach out to me and
know that I'm here. I'll check in with you I've been taught that reframing negative self
again soon.
talk into 'What if' questions can be a tool to bridge from shame and self doubt to self love. 'What if that wasn't a stupid thing to say?', 'What if that actually wasn't a mistake?'
Daring Woman pg 36