DARING WOMAN JANUARY 2021
3 Simple Habits to Boost Your Mood This Winter
Yoga for Runners
Taking Stock of 2020
In This Issue 7 | Taking Stock of 2020
27 | Living the Dream
13 | How To Get What You Want By Letting
29 | 3 Simple Habits to Boost Your Mood This
Go Of What Others Think
Winter
17 | A Life in Sales
32 | I Became a Best-Selling Author After
21 | Yoga For Runners
Making a New Year’s Resolution
HOW TO KEEP OUR GRADES UP IN SCHOOL WHILE HAVING FUN Daring Woman pg 3
Letter From the Editor 2020 was quite the year wasn’t it? From horrific wildfires in Australia to the COVID-19 pandemic, it seemed like the world was taking hit after hit. I still don't understand the toilet paper shortage.
Sure, we joked about it on social media. “Who had murder hornets on their 2020 bingo card?” That was a way of relieving the stress and fear. But if we look beneath the exterior, we’ll find some good things actually have come from this.
Mother Earth was given a much-needed break from pollution and allowed to heal. For the first time in years, heavily polluted areas were blessed with clear skies and clean air.
A sense of unity. Singing and conversing from
I think 2020 was a year of awakening. Of
balconies, our European friends showed us that
change. We have found some major weaknesses
even during a lockdown community is important.
in our world where we need to come together
We just have to be unique.
and repair, but we’ve also found some major strengths.
We have a newfound sense of appreciation for our front-line workers and our essential workers.
We’re not out of the woods though. No, my
Businesses adapted much quicker than the general
friend, this is
population but in the end we came together and
just the beginning of something new and
made it work.
exciting for our world and I for one cannot wait to see what’s in store for us.
Companies discovered that allowing employees to work from home cuts down on overhead and raises productivity. I suspect we’ll see a big telecommute movement in 2021 as companies continue allowing employees to work from home, even if it’s part-time.
What's Your Word of the Year for 2021? Share with us on Facebook!
Contributors Julee Hunt Julee Hunt is a Worthiness Warrior who inspires audiences to transform hopelessness, exhaustion, and depression into purpose, playfulness, and meaning. She has a vision to create a world where worthiness is the way for everyone. After a job loss and life pausing illness, she devoted herself to reclaiming her worthiness becoming the leader of her life. She has appeared on the Oprah Show, the Hay House “A Trainer’s Guide to Infinite Possibilities Certification Course,” Infinite Possibilities conferences, and on multiple podcasts. Julee authored the #1 Best Selling book “You Are WORTHY! Even When You Believe Otherwise: A Guide for the Overwhelmed Perfectionist.
Jennifer O'Callaghan Jennifer is a Toronto-based journalist and entrepreneur. She loves to write about creativity and help others with their personal goals. She can be found working up a sweat in dancehall and hip hop cardio classes. Get in touch at jenniferocallaghan.com and Instagram.
Kate Blake Kate Blake is an Author, Speaker and Certified Coach NLP, Hypnosis and Timeline Practitioner.She was adopted as a baby and suffered a Sexual assault at the age of 16. She has been a single mum with low self esteem but to help her family and her future she worked her way up in the construction industry. Now in her 50s Kate wants to help others with her experience and learning of life.
Daring Woman pg 5
Sandra Stachowicz Sandra Stachowicz is a narcissistic abuse survivor, an immigrant from a post-communist country and a college dropout raised by a single mother of five, turned a five-times bestselling author and a book coach for high-flying influencers. She is also a member of a Think Tank for Women in Business & Technology, a global transformational speaker and a high in-demand ghostwriter for her extremely busy millionaire clients. To learn more about Sandra visit her website at www.AwakenInnerGoddess.com
Gemma Nice Gemma helps professional women who are trapped in the unhappy, unhealthy, and unsatisfying work life cycle; which is causing them to feel old before their time, unloved by those closest to them, and as though their life has no meaning.
Elyse Hughes Elyse Hughes is a Writer, #HolisticJunkie & Cat Mama who shares stories about her beautifully messy & ever-winding SelfLove journey. Her TEDx, Learn to Love Your Ugly Bits, proposes that by choosing the path of self-appreciation, we consciously create an extraordinary life. Her upcoming book, Trying To Make It, charts her years of entrepreneurial escapades that led her back to a long held dream of becoming an author. Share the journey with @elysehugheswriter on Instagram and binge read her collection of eclectic, cosmically humorous Micro Blogs on elysehughes.com.
Dr. Rana Al-Falaki Dr. Rana Al-Falaki is a multi-award winning leader in her field, a coreenergy coach, international speaker, host of Be Free, Be Fun Fearless video and podcast series, and best-selling author. She is also a mother of three, tea-lover, adventurer and believes everything in our lives has be balanced with choice and fun. She can be contacted via her website.
Daring Woman pg 6
Taking Stock of 2020 Don’t Ignore the Gifts by Julee Hunt
2020 was emotionally draining, stressful, and
In fact, I learned so much about myself last year
downright exhausting—for me, for you, and for
that I dedicated the month of December to reading
everyone else on the planet. None of us
through all my journals and reviewing
could have predicted the events that occurred in
everything I learned. I wanted to document all of it
what I will dub as a wild year.
so I would not forget the work that I had done, the lessons I’d learned, and the growth I experienced.
When I was young and imagined the year 2020, I
I discovered the gifts were coming fast and
thought we would be driving flying cars, not
furious!
learning how to wash our hands. There were many disappointments, losses, and ups and downs.
I looked at each month and read my journals, paying attention to how I was feeling about the
There were also many gifts. You may not have
events that were unfolding around me. I saw the
seen it that way at the time or even been willing to
epiphanies and realizations that gave me the
accept them, but it is not too late. I encourage you
opportunity to change my behavior.
to recap your own 2020 and document it as one for the history books. After all this has been a
As I did my review, I was reminded of so much.
historical year and there are stories and nuggets
As the world felt out of control, I saw that I tried
that will be handed down to your children and
to find control in other areas of my life –
your children’s children and beyond.
specifically trying to control my husband. Needless to say, that did not go well. Realizing
First, though, you must take the time to process all
that helped me get crystal clear on what was
of it.
important and what was not. As I looked at all my regularly scheduled social activities that
Journaling is my salvation in all situations. It’s
had disappeared with the pandemic, I realized that
how I process—I typically complete a minimum
many of them did not fill my soul. I have vowed to
of three journals a year. 2020 was a
eliminate many of them for good once we are able
five-journal year. There was a lot to process. I
to venture out again.
completed my next book about the parenting crisis we are experiencing in our world, and it brought
I saw how I made time for things that filled my
up many childhood trauma memories to be healed
soul that I had denied in the past because I did not
once and for all. Add to that the trauma of the
have time for them. Things like creating with
pandemic, rampant racism and inequality, too
sparkly markers, reading books, and spending time
many hurricanes and forest fires created by
in the bubble of my immediate family playing
climate change, and here in the US, a government
games and having deep conversations.
that was not giving us the facts to be able to come together and solve problems. Suddenly,
My husband and I live in an RV. As an author and
our world felt unsafe, upside down, and chaotic.
a coach, I have worked from home for two decades. My husband usually goes into an office
Lucky for me, the pandemic gave me lots of time
to work. When my husband was sent to work from
to think, contemplate, journal, and heal old
home until the pandemic was over, it made sense
traumas, which made it easier to heal the
for him to work at MY desk. This meant when I
new traumas. Yes, I learned a lot about trauma in
had meetings with clients or my editor, I was
2020 and am grateful I was given that gift. A gift
relegated to the bedroom, had to close two sets of
that was painful but so worth the journey.
doors between the front and rear of our RV in
Daring Woman pg 8
order to not interfere in each other’s meetings.
shorten our lifespans, so learning to release both is
When I wasn’t in meetings, I worked at the
beneficial and crucial. I also learned that people
kitchen table with noise cancelling headphones, so
who survive traumas live longer than people who
I was not distracted by his meetings.
never experience adversity or trauma in their life. With that tidbit of information, I’m sure I will
My husband was sent to work from home in
become a centenarian!
March and he is still here! I learned that I’m OK with sharing my desk some of the time, but NOT
While I had my own traumas going on, my clients
all the time. I found myself being resentful that he
had theirs too. Working from home full-time and
was working at the lush workspace I designed for
homeschooling their children was a biggie.
writing books and talking to clients.
How do you fit both into a day? Not to mention that most of us are not equipped to be teachers.
Having both of us work from home in such a small space required some very creative solutions. When both of us had Zoom calls at the same time, it could get pretty chaotic. So, my husband started working outside in the mornings giving me more time at my desk. He eventually rented a small office space two days a week which gave me two full days at my desk. These compromises really helped.
A major gift of 2020 in our family was the arrival
Add to that the newness of going from being busy,
of our granddaughter. And we happily realized
busy to having nothing but work and school on the
that our motorcoach is a pandemic-free zone.
schedule and being confined to the house or
Since everyone was working from home, we
apartment. So many new things to learn this year
figured it did not matter where we were parked so
for every family. Online meetings had baby
we moved our RV to Georgia for three months to
visitors sitting in the laps of their parents.
help our son and daughter-in-law with the baby.
Teenagers were even more surly than normal
We would never had had that much time with our
because they did not get to spend time with their
granddaughter and the kids had we been living in
friends. People were confused about the
a stationary home. Since they were both working
information they were receiving about
from home too, having an extra set of hands a
the pandemic and no longer felt safe going out
couple days a week was quite helpful! I will
into the world.
forever be grateful I got to cuddle our granddaughter through her first few months of
This very awkward, confusing year invited us all
life!
to become conscious about how we wanted to live our lives going forward. There is no going back to
With all the extra time on my hands, I took some
the way it was because life permanently changed
courses on trauma. I learned how trauma impacts
around the world.
our bodies and how we create coping mechanisms
I’m choosing to see that it is changing to
to get by but not necessarily to thrive. I was able
something even better than before.
to see the year through this lens. Those coping mechanisms can also impact our health and
Daring Woman pg 9
Before you move forward in 2021, I recommend
Epiphanies, A-HA Moments, and Things I
you take stock of the gifts, losses, and epiphanies
Learned:
of the incredible year behind us. You have
permission to start your 2021 in February if you so desire!
I did not realize how much I was worrying about my husband’s safety as he drove an hour to and from work each day. I saw how I learned to walk a tightrope of
Here’s a peek at mine. Gifts: The word I chose for the year back in January was TRUST. I thought it meant trust in the outside world and those around me. Turns out it meant to trust myself. Early in the pandemic I was watching events unfold around the world. I especially loved watching the Italians—they made me feel that we would get through this and we would do it with grace. Remember how they pulled their kitchen tables out on their balconies and had dinner with their neighbors? They found a way to stay connected and social distanced. And how the opera singer and the personal trainer stood in the middle of the apartment courtyard and entertained and inspired all the residents. And then there was Mother Earth, who finally had a chance to heal because no one was driving to work and clogging the air with car exhaust.
perfection as a child hoping it meant I would be abused less—and I carried that into my adult life. I know now that when I give my power away to the outside world, I go down a rabbit hole of self-doubt, unworthiness, and self-hatred, and it is not pretty. I can honor, protect, and treasure my power as my liquid gold and superpower. I can choose to stand in faith rather than fear about the events unfolding in our world. I have the power to disconnect from things that impact my energy negatively—like the news and social media. I realized I was using anger to find some control in my life but, it felt very out of control internally. And I saw that it was zapping my energy when I tried to control things that were out of my control. I learned to respond from my heart instead of reacting from my ego. My unreasonable need to keep everyone safe in my family stemmed from no one keeping me safe as a child.
Losses: My Dad died in July. We were unable to visit him during his last two weeks of life or have a funeral for him. My original vision for 2020 changed. Having time alone during the day. Being free to go out and do the things I want to do. Feeling safe in public.
Once you’ve made your list, take your time to mourn and grieve your 2020 losses. Journal about it. If you lost a friend or family member, write down the memories you made together, thank them for being a part of your life, and say goodbye. I encourage you to take the time to think through the year and process all the events of 2020 and how they impacted you, your family, and your life. After you have finished, create a personal manifesto for your new and improved life going forward. How do you want life to be different? What will you change? What will you keep?
Daring Woman pg 10
When I did this exercise, I saw that I had become unconscious about the way I was living and want to be more conscious about how I approach my days. I’m choosing activities that bring me joy and leaving behind the ones that suck the joy out of my soul. What about you?
This exercise will take some time. Take as much as you need! If it takes the entire month of January, so be it! Light a candle, meditate for a few minutes and begin. You experienced a lot last year and you deserve to process it, receive the gifts it offered, and create a life filled with joy, fun, laughter, and activities that fill your soul. You are worthy of that life!
Daring Woman pg 11
RELEASING TRAUMA a survivor's podcast
Tracey Osborne www.ReleasingTraumaPodcast.com
How To Get What You Want By Letting Go Of What Others Think by Jennifer O'Callaghan When I was in elementary school, sometimes, my mom would stealthily replace the teen soap opera novels on my nightstand with more wholesome reading. They were lighthearted books with an under current of the importance of not worrying how others perceived you, or your unique brand. They usually involved a child protagonist, wise beyond her years, boldly standing up to school bullies. These stories made independence of others’ opinions seem quite effortless. Relieved by this, I continued to be my neon pant wearing, hair scrunchie loving self. That is, until high school arrived, and, my hormones raged to an alarming height. Suddenly, I couldn’t think of much else besides the way jocks looked at me in the hallway, or why I wasn’t invited to my arch frenemy’s party on Saturday night. What were they thinking of me? I just wanted to fit in. The books I’d believed in those years ago suddenly appeared to be exactly what they were. Fiction.
Daring Woman pg 13
As humans, especially when entering the adult world,
You can’t read too much into the positive or negative
it’s hard to let go of our primal roots. In ancestral times,
feedback. Learn the difference between constructive
group inclusion was necessary for basic survival. You
advice and nonsensical comments that hold no value.
needed to be part of the tribe so you had shelter or weren’t taken out by a woolly mammoth. But in current
Bold Choices Create A Divided Response
days, we don’t have the same threats of immediate danger. Modern days have seen the birth of the car, the
Boldness is polarizing. You’re going to cause a
internet, and the Kardashians. We’re a world away
positive response in some and a negative one in
from prehistoric times, yet the struggle over others’
others. There will always be haters, no matter what
judgement is real as ever.
you do. A controversial icon like Madonna has clearly been aware of this since day one, and that’s
When we begin to discover the things we care about
what’s helped her succeed and navigate her way
and want to pursue, those dreams might not align with
through the extreme reactions to her work, whether
everyone’s idea of success or safety. It can be good to
venomous detractors or devoted fans. You can’t do
seek advice at times, but, externally seeking validation
anything great and not be criticized by someone,
can be a death sentence to dreams. In order to know
somewhere. Acceptance of that will liberate you.
what’s worthwhile to us, we have to detach from the static noise of the world. That can be easier said than
Align With Like-Minded Professionals
done, but if you feel like you’ve been programmed to pursue what looks good on paper, it may be time to get
Be conscious of who you surround yourself with.
re-aligned with what holds true meaning for you.
Create a crew of people who get your goals. Find
Remember, your anxious emotions aren’t necessarily a
creative or entrepreneur groups online, or in your
bad thing. At times, they can be helpful, and indicate
area. It’s also helpful to have at least one ally you
useful information. The key though, is not allowing
can talk shop with, where you mutually support one
them to knock you off track or let fear of others’
another’s projects. Even if it’s just a weekly coffee
opinions stop you from making your unique mark on
chat, prioritizing those conversations will help you
the world.
feel secure in your journey and less inclined to search for support from those who might not get
What You Love Should Matter The Most
your objective. I have a standing Zoom call booked with an artist friend every Saturday. We discuss our
Look at what motivates you. Start questioning what’s
ideas and try to offer one another troubleshooting
behind your goals. Once you’re clear about that, don’t
advice on problem areas. I truly value this time, and
let others decide what you’re capable of. Only you can
it gives me a boost to feel aligned with someone
clearly see your vision. When you put passion into
who’s facing similar challenges.
what you do, your critics tend to fall to the wayside. It’s hard for other people to judge you if you’re happy, and
Don’t Expect The Worst
earning a living at what you love. When you put yourself out there and pursue your dream, it’s good to
If someone asks you to explain what you do, don’t
be somewhat skeptical of what’s said about you.
automatically assume they’re being
Daring Woman pg 14
judgemental. Perhaps they’re just asking you to elaborate on what you do. If they still don’t seem to understand after you’ve explained, don’t chase their approval. Trying to change how others feel about you is a waste of time and energy that you can’t afford to burn when you’re chasing an ambitious end goal.
If I could sit down with my high school self, I’d urge her not to let go of those stories where following your heart wins out, no matter what others say. It’s human nature to ponder how others perceive you. The trick is to not let it paralyze you. Let go of what sounds good, and allow only the things with true meaning to be your guide.
Daring Woman pg 15
www.BecomingHerBook.com
A LIFE IN SALES
BY KATE BLAKE
I have worked in sales for many years. Over thirty if
It was the 1990s and I was one of many working in
I’m honest, where does the time go? However, I
advertising, selling various things, mainly
think my journey in sales went far beyond those 30
advertising space in magazines, newspapers and
years.
various directories. I would feel anxious as I got on the bus in the morning, anxious all day and anxious
As a little girl, I used to set up shop around my
all evening until Friday when I felt ok, but Sunday
house. My mother was a nursery teacher and she was
I would be starting to get anxious again.
wonderful at playing along with my imaginary shop keeper jobs. On school holidays she would bring
The problem was I had forgotten how to sell. let’s
home the school grocery play shop equipment
go back to the cake stall at church. Those cakes
and lots of tiny play tins of food and plastic
were beautiful, and the customers buying them
vegetables and fruit for me to display in my shop.
were giving to the church charity. There were clear
She would get our neighbour, Ethel, and they would
benefits to why the visitors to the stall would want
dutifully line up to buy their groceries for a few
to buy them and I loved them too. Who doesn’t
pennies.
love cake?
I also used to love to play Librarian as we had the
So, what had I forgotten when I returned to sales as
luxury of many books around the house. I would
an adult? Firstly, I had no passion for what I was
insert a piece of paper into each book and with a
selling. It had become all about the sale. I was in
stamp my mum provided, I would stamp each book
fear of not selling, which made me feel anxious. I
as quickly as I could and file them in order of author.
would contacting a everyone and anyone, and not
Ah those carefree days.
having any consideration to whether the product was suitable for them. Eventually, I left sales and
As I got older, I started to love to do charitable things
vowed never to go back.
for our church. Helping hand out and collect Christian Aid envelopes and also, I would insist I
My next career was in customer services and
worked on any store during any church fates. I loved
complaints. Yes, another tough area. But I learnt to
the cake store for obvious reasons.
do something very important in this role. I learnt to listen. It’s a funny thing really and a simple one. At
When I left school, I left with no qualifications. I was
times I would be talking to some very angry
dyslexic although this had not been diagnosed and
customers. Had I have stormed in to try and fix
wouldn’t be for 20 years, so I felt my options were
their problems without listening to them, I don’t
limited. Back in the 1980s, I wouldn’t have really
think I would have calmed the situation down at
thought about being a sales rep because back then I
all. So, I would stop, listen and look for
used to mainly only hear about salesmen, not
a solution to help them. This was a great learning
necessarily saleswomen. I now know they did exist,
curb for me.
but then salesmen still ruled. At the same time as working in this industry, I had With no qualifications I started working in sales
to take on an evening job. The jobs I was working
offices, very tough ones. I really wasn’t equipped for
in customer services were very low paid.
such offices.
Daring Woman pg 18
I was going through University at the time doing
It was a bit of a sidestep, an office job imputing
distance learning so I could start to look at a
housing specifications, but it was ok. The only
better career, but whilst I was doing this, I had
problem was getting to the office which
children to feed as a single parent. So, I started
was forty miles away. I have a clapped-out car
work in a lap dancing club.
which threatened overheating all the way there and back and after about year I knew I had to make a
Ok a strange decision and I could probably write
change. Besides the fuel costs were too expensive
a whole article on that, but I had trained as a
for me and I was starting to go into arrears in my
dancer up to the age of eighteen, so it’s
bank.
something I knew I could do and make a bit of money doing. But again, this became another listening exercise. I would have to compete with the other women for dances and although I only come in occasionally unlike a lot of the girls who were there most nights, I could very quickly build connections with customers to gain dances. It’s a strange thing to say but working in customer services and complaints and then dancing clubs had taught me a lot about people.
One day, one of the Sales managers sat next to me in the office. He was using one of the desks to hot desk and do some work. I knew he had a team of sales reps working for him nationally looking
after
construction
companies.
With my knowledge of construction, I thought I could work for him. Yes, back in sales, and I was a
It didn’t take me long before I left the club to move onto new things. I had my daughter and I started to move into better jobs. I had qualified in construction management and moved into Surveying on site. Building sites were a
little nervous of that, but I had watched the sales managers over the last year, and realised it was something I could do.
completely new thing for me. But I grew strong work relationships
From out of nowhere, I
and really enjoyed my experience
asked him if I could have a
there. I was so grateful to be
private chat. We went in to
in a job which gave me
one of the offices and I
pride. Considering the low
explained my situation.
paid jobs, I had experienced in my life.
Actually, that moment changed everything for me.
But it only lasted a few years, as we went into a global financial recession. The company folded and like many others at that time I was unemployed. It was very difficult at that time to get new employment so when the first job offers came around, I jumped at it.
Daring Woman pg 19
Within a few months, I was working on a major account. I had a company car and was back in sales. But you know what? Everything had changed. I was looking after a twenty-five-million-pound account, building amazing rapport with my customers, some of who remain great contact today.
My sales career went on from strength to strength
Authentic and a bit of a goofball. I never have
with me building up more and more contacts and
and never will think I know it all. I mean who
friends within the industry.
does? In fact, quite the opposite I generally feel a huge amount of imposter syndrome and
I have now come out of the construction industry
wonder when I will get found out for just being
as I now have my own coaching business and I run
me. I think we all feel this from time to time,
sales courses, but I still get to speak to a lot of
don’t we?
people in the industry. So, going from anxious in sales to running sales What were the lessons I learned?
training and coaching people to be better salespeople is one hell of a turnaround. But that
Well as I mentioned, I learned to listen to people,
happens in life, and if there is one tip, I can ever
find out what they needed and how I could help
give someone in sales or looking to grow sales
them was the biggest lesson. I made it all about
within their business, the tip would be, just be
the customer and not the sale. I worked with them
you.
and built up strong levels of trust. I would make it my business to understand what they were
Don’t change that. Have a clear intention and
experiencing and what was keeping them up at
listen to your customer. Understand what it is
night. I would not try and sell them something I
you can help them with. Keep learning, do your
knew they wouldn’t want. I took an interest to
mindset work and go from fearful to fearless
learn about their businesses.
in sales.
But I also worked on my Personal Development. This was really important to me. When I first went back in sales, I thought I had to be like the other people in my team, I had to be “one of the guys!” But I realised this was not going to work for me. I needed to be me.
Daring Woman pg 20
Yoga For Runners by Gemma Nice
Whether you are new to yoga or a seasoned yogi, these stretches will help to release tightness and tension in the pelvic area, release tight hamstrings and generally make you feel calmer and content. You can use these exercises as a warmup or warm down. Perform these poses for five breaths on each side before or after running or just use for a gentle stretch two to three times per week.
High Lunge Targets: hips and chest, stretches the groin and legs, lengthens the spine and strengthens the lower body.
Step one-foot forwards and the other leg backwards. Bend the front knee and have it stacked over your ankle. Checking you can see your big toe. Have heels in line with each other. Extend the back leg up towards the sky, pushing the knee backwards. Engage all your leg muscles and glutes, coming onto your toes on the back foot. Push down the heel, stabilising on the ball of the foot.
Crescent Lunge Same as high lunge but push hips forwards and draw torso backwards.
Daring Woman pg 21
Butterfly Pose Targets: inner thighs, groins, and knees. Come into a seated position onto the floor. Come to the front of the sitting bones. Bring your feet in towards you clasping your feet with your hands. Lift through the sit bones, lengthening through your spine. In every exhale, move your knees out feeling your hip flexors opening. Engage your core muscles and lengthen through your chest.
Seated Spinal Twist Come to a seated position with your legs out in front of you and sitting on your sitting bones. Bend the right leg over your left and place your right foot just the other side of your left knee. Keeping the left leg straight, push the heel away from you, flexing the toes towards the shin engaging all the leg muscles. Bring
your
left
elbow
to
rest
on
the
middle or outside of your right knee with your hand pointing upwards, palm facing away from you. With you,
your
right-hand
pushing
round
on
into
your
place
the
next
mat
exhale.
it
behind
and
twist
Using
a
block to get extra height if needed. On every inhale lift through the crown of your head and on every exhale twist the
chest
round
further,
making
sure
your torso is forward and up.
Daring Woman pg 22
Cow Face Legs Come to a seated position with your right leg bent and foot placed under your left thigh, knee facing down. Bring your left foot over the right knee and place to the outside. Hug your knee drawing it towards your chest, pushing into the sit bones, lengthening through your spine and the crown of your head. Feeling the hip flexors opening.
Standing Folding Fold Stand with feet together and bring the weight to the back of the heels. Bring hands to your hips and engage knees into thighs, squeeze your glutes. Start to fold forward, hinging from the pelvis and not rounding in the back. Try to keep your back flat. Send the hips backwards. Bring your arms to fold forward, either reaching to touch the toes or holding your shins. With every exhale, fold further down. Stay here for 5 breaths. Inhale come back up to standing.
Daring Woman pg 23
Half Splits Come into a kneeling position, place one foot forwards, heel down, toes up, straight leg. Bring hands down to the mat either side of the front foot. Keep chest lifted, send hips backwards, gaze towards the toes. Engage core. Inhale lift up then fold forward, aiming to get head towards the knee. Keep back straight.
Pigeon Pose Come onto all fours. Bring right knee towards right wrist, placing the shin on the mat with foot facing towards the left hip aiming to get shin parallel to top of the mat. Push the left leg back aiming to sink hips towards the front foot. Releasing the thigh to the mat. Keep pelvis straight. Have hands down by your hips, lifting up through the chest. Squeeze your glutes (bum muscles) and activate all leg muscles. Push front foot towards left hip. Keep in a straight line. To advance it, push hands forwards releasing the chest towards the mat coming onto forearms or fold forward to bring chest completely to mat.
Daring Woman pg 24
Reclined Pigeon Pose Come onto your back with knees bent. Bring right ankle on top of left thigh pushing that knee out to the side. Bring left leg up pushing into the back of the mat, flexing toes. Thread your right arm through your legs and left arm to the side, interlacing fingers behind your left thigh. Draw legs towards chest, pushing right knee out towards the right shoulder. Keep pushing tail bone down towards the floor.
Seated Forward Fold Sit on the mat with your legs out in front. Flex toes, pushing heels away. Push calves and hamstrings into floor. Come onto sit bones by pulling bum cheeks away. Draw arms up on an inhale, engaging core, exhale fold forward, sending hips backwards, keeping form in the spine and not rounding. Use each breath to fold forward more. Gaze towards your toes.
Daring Woman pg 25
Pyramind Pose Stand with feet three foot apart. Toes facing towards the front of the mat. Press down into heels. Bring arms behind and hold onto forearms or elbows drawing shoulders backwards lifting through the chest. Sending hips backwards, inhale lift up lengthening through the spine and exhale folding forwards keeping legs straight. Look towards the front toes and fold chest over the front leg keeping arms drawn backwards. Engaging all leg muscles.
Lizard Pose Come into low lunge, stacking knee over ankle on the front leg. Squeezing glutes and activating all leg muscles, bring hands down to the mat inside of the front leg spreading fingers in line with toes. Push into the front leg pressing down into the foot making sure knee is over ankle. To go further bring forearm's down to the floor.
Daring Woman pg 26
ELYSE HUGHES
LIVING THE DREAM
I watched the distance stretch between us over
I now had health insurance for the first time in
paved parking lot lightly sprinkled with cars
seven years. My parents still purchased my most
of early-morning employees. He held a crisp pace
expensive pieces of clothing. I had no 401(k) and
and his new gray flannel swayed slightly as he
cashed out my IRA two years ago when my
drew closer to the glass sliders of the grocery store
entrepreneurial pursuits started
that looked more like a factory. The shirt was a
tanking and I needed it to pay rent. That was the
Christmas gift from his parents, just like my
last time I had any cushion I could call “savings.”
Sherpa-lined L.L. Bean hoodie was a gift from mine.
Some days I felt like I was before the beginning. So far from breaking through just-getting-by that
I gazed out the large windows of the loaner van
I would never rise above it. Software was
we’d been given while the car was in the shop,
outdated, tech in need of upgrade, a collection of
amidst littering of families that had used it before
writings sitting unpublished until the funds
us. Every turn orchestrated a symphony of clinks
showed up. But living my creative dream of
and jingles – a tiny plastic airplane tumbling
writing was the only thing that swelled my heart.
across the dash, loose change flipping sides in
There was nothing else. Learning to
nooks between the cup holders. Animal cracker
unapologetically love myself and genuinely
crumbs powdered the matted floor and passenger
sharing my experiences in writing – was all I
seats. A bag of fennel seeds scrunched awkwardly
wanted to do. Even though my MacBook was
in the cubby beneath the temperature dials.
now considered “vintage,” I was just beginning.
I imagined two kiddos kicking in the back, with
Living my dream was equal parts amazing
graham-dusted fingers and electronic devices to
and utterly unglamorous. I spent most of my time
keep them entertained while Mama zoomed from
in pajamas, writing, in the thick of my succulent
place to place. She made sure to bring their
jungle with a kitty cat for company. I focused my
Banana Boat SPF 50 for a quick weekend at the
greatest energy into doing what I loved most and
beach, leaving it behind along with the maroon
came the easiest. Turned off my phone more and
2018 planner stuffed in the front console. Life
more. Intentionally connected with creatives that
moved from one thing to the next with little
lived unconventional, uniquely crafted dreams. I
allowance for downtime in the whirl of trips to
embraced my introvert nature that loved alone
Costco, school events, business functions and
time, and in that space I found more comfort in
vacations.
being myself. Giving myself permission to be where I was, doing exactly what I was doing.
My life was nothing like that. I never wanted to be married, have children or a mini van. Two social
He wedged open the slider they left cracked for
outings a week was my max. I called the man I
workers that started before the store opened. I
shared my life with my P.I.C. (partner in
munched on sweet potato crackers in the mini
crime), because “boyfriend” sounded too
van and it started to sprinkle. I had typed half
teenybopper and “soulmate” felt too
this story, but still didn’t know what I really
presumptuous.
wanted to say.
Daring Woman pg 28
I guess it’s this . . . What is Daring if not being who we are? Living how we want? No matter what we’ve achieved or where we stand, loving ourselves, regardless.
3 Simple Habits To Boost Your Mood This Winter by Dr. Rana Al-Falaki
As the dark nights draw in and the memories
If we elevate how we feel, tolerating can become
of summer fades, we need something to look
all but a distant memory, and a place we needn’t
forward to and boost our mood each day.
return to, regardless of the circumstances.
Whilst balancing a hectic life of work, family,
Incorporate these three simple daily habits into
and responsibilities, we often tolerate what’s
your life, and you’ll feel like the sun is shining
going on around us, feeling powerless to change
every day!
it.
Daring Woman pg 29
Affirm With A Question
Mediation needn’t mean you have to sit on the floor cross-legged, however. You just have
Affirmations are statements you make to
to be able to switch off your mind, and one great
yourself to set your mindset on track, the idea
way to do this is to distract the mind with
being that the more you say it, the more you will
activity. Dancing is a wonderful way to
believe it. In essence however, the statements
incorporate mediation by actively moving
you make may be so far from the reality of your
the body, which in turns raises your vibration
life that there is a disconnect, so deep down, no
and opens you up to being present.
matter how much you say it, you don’t and can’t truly believe it.
You will get multiple benefits from this including can instant energy boost from dancing
Think of the most commonly said statement
around, calorie burn by moving about, instant
of “it will all work out in the end…”.
relief of stress, and of course opening up your
This in itself is an affirmation, but how much do
mind to receive intuitive thoughts which can
you truly believe it when everything around you
only drop in when there is space. This process
seems to be going wrong? If you don’t believe it,
provides that space.
then you will not be energetically aligned with the outcome, which in turn means you are less likely to take actions to follow that course. It is actions that get us to our final destination.
Give Gratitude With An Attitude
Giving gratitude boosts our mood enormously, shifting our energy from noticing what we don’t
A more powerful way to affirm is to combine it with questioning. For example, instead of affirming “it will all work out!”, try asking “how can I help this situation?”, or “how can I feel better about this?”. By asking a question, you
have to what we do have, and also what we wish to have as if it was already there. There more we find and declare things we are grateful for, the more it grows, like a snowball gathering size the more and more as you roll it along the floor.
open up your intuitive guidance, and will set your intention on noticing signs and actioning yourself forwards. We always feel better when we think we can do something to help a situation.
Offering gratitude when we are feeling down is an instantaneous mood booster, and a great way to end your day if you find you have difficulty sleeping due to stress and worry. Some people like to keep a journal where they
Meditate With A Dance
either list or write a few paragraphs each day; others may prefer to keep a gratitude jar and fill
When we are so busy and stressed out, it’s
it up each time they pass it.
hard to switch our brains off to mediate, let alone actually find time to sit down and do it. Mediation has a multitude of benefits for our mental, emotional and physical health. We know we should be doing it but incorporating
The key however to elevating your mood is to truly engage with the feeling of the gratitude. This is where the attitude come in. Say it like you mean it!
it into daily life can prove challenging.
Daring Woman pg 30
Make bold statements and imagine how wonderful it feels or would feel if you had all that in your life right now. This may mean taking your time when writing and just breathing into the feeling, or it may mean quite literally shouting it out loud, with your arms up in the air! The more attitude on gratitude, the happier you will remain.
The fundamental element in all these daily habits is to find a way to make them fun and incorporate them into your busy life. Each of them will help to propel you forward and boost your mood, helping you to remain present in the now, but at the same time hopeful for the future.
I BECAME A BESTSELLING AUTHOR AFTER MAKING A NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION
by Sandra Stachowicz They say the definition of insanity is doing the
Ever since I could read and write, I knew I
same thing over and over again and expecting
wanted to become an author. Yet, here I was, a
different results. Yet, as the year reared its ugly
30-year-old burnout woman, working two full-
head and I carefully reviewed my annual goals
time jobs as a night manager for a holiday
with a magnifying glass, one of my New Year
rental company and doubling as an Airbnb
resolutions stared back at me and whacked me
cleaner during the day just to get my
in the head with the uncomfortable truth with
bills paid.
Summer-themed tips and tricks for the whole family
the impetus of a teenage girl on her period, slamming the door shut.
Daring Woman pg 32
“How come did I get here in the first place?”, I
Between one sob and another, I realised I could
quietly reminisced about my “15 minutes of
fail at a soul-sucking job that I didn’t even
fame” as I took a stroll down memory lane.
want in the first place or I could fail at something I actually cared about for
To an outsider, my success story from five
once! In the heat of the moment, I made up my
years before happened practically overnight.
mind to pursue a childish fantasy of mine that gloriously inevitably always made it onto my
I went from being voluntarily enslaved at my 9-
New Year intentions.
to-5 job to being the sought-out marketing expert. I was featured in a New York Times
A few weeks in the run up to Christmas, I got
and Wall Street Journal bestseller.
to work straight away with the enthusiasm of a kid in a candy store and invested in a measly
I went on a six-month-long solo adventure and
£3.33 e-book promising the secret to
spent a few months working in exotic locations
getting your book written and published.
from the comfort of my laptop. It wasn’t long before some of the biggest names in motivation
I read it from cover to cover and immediately
and transformation circles reached out to work
started implementing all the steps outlined in
with me, including Sonia Ricotti, Debra
the book. I turned into a recluse with an
Poneman, Marci Shimoff and many others.
Einstein-inspired look, and wrote like a mad scientist in a lab. Within days, I had
An opportunity of a lifetime presented itself
20k words worth of content.
when John Assaraf, best known from the film, The Secret, offered to promote me.
Except that I still had no idea how to put all the missing puzzle pieces together and get
As I ruminated over the past through pink-
published.
coloured glasses, the sad reality finally sunk in. Fast forward a few weeks, and I pulled my hair I yanked out tissues from the deep crevices of
out of desperation. As time went by, my hair
my pocket.
got thinner but I still was nowhere near the publishing stage. With too many questions left
After all these years of trial and error and
unanswered, I frantically stared at my New
entrepreneurial endeavours, I was a NOBODY.
Year resolution proudly displayed right above
A glorified 5-star housekeeper cleaning up after
my desk, desperately searching for clues. As I
the people I once used to work with.
soon discovered one-size-fits-all solutions provided in the e-book, while well-intended,
The prospect of living another year of my life
failed to provide me with in-depth answers that
without having kept any of my New Year
would help move the needle and bring
resolutions finally dawned on me. In my mind I
me closer to completion.
was a pathetic LOSER.
Daring Woman pg 33
I desperately wanted to get my book out into
and beyond painful.
the world but didn’t have the ability to envision what steps I needed to take to make
I thought I was supposed to write my book on
my New Year resolution stick and get
my own. But being “stuck on stupid”
my book published. I was pulled in a thousand
essentially kept me running in circles, with a
directions by the demands of everyday life:
book deadline that kept eluding me. Resigned, I
needy partner, a failing marketing business that
concluded that if I was meant to write my book
needed my undivided attention, and not one,
on my own, I would have published it already.
but two stressful jobs. Then one New Year’s Eve, I finally wised up. Rather than getting my book published, I spun my wheels, getting nowhere. I felt constantly
When everyone was out and about celebrating
distracted by unfinished projects, the demands
and getting intoxicated as if there was no
of running a business, bills that needed to be
tomorrow, I was on the precipice of making
paid, and a partner and family who felt
one of the most important decisions in my
increasingly left out and neglected.
life. As difficult as it was to acknowledge, I realised that unless I used a different approach,
All I really wanted was to get my book out
my half-finished manuscript would soon end up
there and make an impact on the world, to
in a books’ graveyard, in a pile of other almost-
succeed at something I actually loved! I
but-not-quite-finished projects in my desk
desperately tried to get my book completed,
drawer.
but ended up wearing too many different hats. I had to learn how keywords worked, grow my
Ouch!
online presence, and be my own PR agent. All while making sure no one died in the process.
Suddenly, as if struck by lightning, I had an ‘aha’ moment. “I’ve worked with up to five
At one point I was so overwhelmed I almost
coaches at any one time to help me grow my
gave up on writing altogether. Finally
coaching business. Why don’t I hire a book
exhausted, I collapsed on the floor and
coach to help me write and publish a book?”
exclaimed: “ENOUGH!”
Right in that moment, I made up my mind that this was the year I was going to get published.
Being the one-woman show that I am, I subscribed to the erroneous and deeply flawed
Period.
belief that reaching out for help was a sign of weakness. To admit that I was somewhat
Without further ado, I put my money where my
lacking and didn’t have the brains to
mouth was and entrusted all my savings to
figure out how to stick to my New Year
someone I barely knew, hiring a high-level
resolution was inconceivable in my mind
book coach, one-to-one.
Daring Woman pg 34
At last, I could put my energy where it belonged and pour all my heart, soul, and wine into what I loved the most, writing!
Or so I thought…
Deep down, I knew I was meant to write a book but caught myself thinking terrible thoughts about myself, my story, and my level of skill. As the villain of this story, from a remote village on the other side of the world and with less-than-impeccable English, I just didn’t see myself as a gifted writer.
“You’ll make a fool out of yourself. Who’d want to hear your story about your failed business or getting a lowly job most people would turn their nose to? There’s nothing remarkable about you or your story.”
“You’re not exactly an authority in your niche. Look at you. You’re a measly C-L-E-A-N-E-R. A wannabe author. An authority on water closets. How pathetic!”
I wrestled with my demons, but as if to confirm my inner dialogue, as I re-read the passage in my book where I effectively made a confession about my dirty little secret, an undercover stunt as a cleaner, and my eyes zoomed in on my editor’s comments.
“What’s so inspiring about having two full-time jobs?”
There I had it. PROOF, highlighted in red. Tears welled up in my eyes and my heart just sunk.
Daring Woman pg 35
“You see? Even your own editor
I secretly wished it was as simple as handing in
doesn’t believe you are enough of an expert.
my notice but losing my job essentially meant a
The one person who out of all the
death sentence for my book. As often is with all
people in the world should have a little faith in
matters of substance, once you make up your
the message of your book.”
mind, the Universe conspires behind the scenes to answer your prayers.
It became obvious, I was losing the argument. Score: 0-2 for the expert on water closets.
To my utter surprise, I realised I had accrued unspent holidays at my job. I had not been
Except that my editor’s remarks were
on holiday for over a year and yearned for a
completely innocent. They were taken out of
three-week-long summer break in a tropical
context. I only saw what I wanted to see.
destination with my long-term boyfriend.
The closer I got to the launch date of my book, the more monsters that crawled out from under my bed: doubt, shame, guilt, and fear. Out of desperation I turned to my book coach for guidance.
“I can’t do this! I’m not enough of an expert!”
I ended up borrowing my book coach’s belief in me when I didn’t have any left in myself.
Having him in my corner meant I had a Sherpa guiding me through the treacherous terrain of becoming a published bestselling author. Reassured by my coach, I made peace with my own “not enoughness,” safe in the knowing that my book was coming out exactly as it should.
Still, the deadly shadow of my book’s launch date loomed over me. As I got closer to the publishing stage, I realised I needed to dedicate
Still, something else quietly robbed me of the joy of getting my book published, preventing me from pouring all my heart and soul into my book. I couldn’t quite reconcile my love for
myself fully to my book, with no distractions whatsoever. Chasing down my dream of becoming a published bestselling author was either now or never.
writing with being voluntarily enslaved in a soul-sucking job.
Daring Woman pg 36
I knew I had to make one of the most difficult decisions ever, even if this choice meant letting my partner down. To my colleagues’
Failing was simply NOT an option!
and bosses’ dismay, rather than spend hundreds of pounds on holidays in some exotic location, I spent the following three weeks at my home in rainy Scotland, tucked away under duvets, perfecting the script of my book.
the process and ensuring that my book would never see daylight.
The sacrifices paid off. Half a month later, the script was ready! But I still wasn’t. Yet I
Not now, not ever.
had to return to work, just as enthusiastic about it as a child being asked to apologize for eating the last cookie.
Admittedly, after my promotion suddenly fell through, I was at my wits end, frustrated beyond words, resentful, and upset. Still, some
A few weeks before my book was published, my fancy job promotion from night-manager to content-manager unexpectedly fell through and I found myself jobless. A few weeks prior,
people seem to have a knack for knocking others when they are down. My mum has builtin receptors to pick up on those rare moments with stunning accuracy.
my bosses forced me to resign from my job as a cleaner. The burden of unpaid bills loomed over me. My dream of ever becoming a published author was suddenly at stake.
During one of her visits my mother probed pitilessly, “What makes you think you can stick to your New Year resolution this time round? You don’t exactly have a stellar track record
I unexpectedly had 40 hours of time each week
given where you ended up at.”
freed up but I was effectively liberated from the main source of income too. With losing my job, came another dilemma.
I opened my eyes wide and stared at the female head of the clan as if she had twelve noses. I desperately tried to hold back the tears. I
I could potentially waste precious hours applying for temporary jobs just to tie me over or completely commit to writing and
excused myself and locked myself up in a bathroom as ugly tears streamed down my cheeks, too chubby for my 30 years of age.
potentially risk not having enough money left over to pay my editor.
It finally dawned on me that everything I spent the last few months working on could effectively put the launch of my book on hold until “someday,” sealing my book’s fate in
Failing was simply NOT an option!
If anything, my mother’s off-handed remark made me realize that up until that moment I hadn’t really gone ALL-IN with my book or my coaching business. I hadn’t really gone all in with ANY of my New Year resolutions.
Daring Woman pg 37
The reason my silly New Year resolution
To my utter surprise, sticking to my New Year
wasn’t working for me was because I wasn’t
resolution worked like a charm as I bagged a
working for it.
bestselling-author status a week later. For the first time ever, the serial procrastination diva in
Rather than make my mother’s unflattering
me turned my New Resolution into a massive
comments mean anything about me, I renewed
win. I gleefully grinned from ear to ear as I
my vow to make resolution stick and threw
crossed “write a bestselling book” off my
myself back into writing with renewed
bucket list of things that kept eluding me all
energy.
those years.
For me, publishing a book wasn’t a matter of,
Et voilà! A recipe to make a New Year
“How do I make money?” it was a matter of,
resolution and keep it.
“How do I get back up to the standard of living I am used to making?”
In hindsight, taking the time out to review my yearly goals and changing the plan of action by
This sudden realisation led to an unlikely
opening myself up to receive help rather than
epiphany.
trying to it all on my own, as well as having an accountability partner in the form of a book
“Just because I failed to stick to any of my New
coach was the best plan ever.
Year Resolutions does not make me a failure. Why don’t I leverage that idea and build up on
Looking back, if I hadn’t kept my New Year
my failures?!” With sudden clarity, I realised
resolution and didn’t get my book published, I
not all was lost and I could lean on my previous
honestly think I would still be stuck slaving
successes, just as much as I could draw
away in a 9-5 ticking off items on other
strength from my failures.
people’s bucket list. I most certainly would not be here sitting on my favourite fallen tree over
After months of hard work and with my fingers
a creek, with a grin on my face, my feet
trembling, I finally hit publish, and got my
dangling, dipping my big toe in a cold-water
transformational book out into the world, a
stream, and clutching the latest copy of my
mere 8 months after making my New
book.
Year resolution, on August that same year.
Daring Woman pg 38
As I think back to the time before I kept my
To my surprise, keeping my New Year
New Year resolution, I wasn’t committed
resolution provided me with the never-ending
enough to stick to any of them. I only thought I
sense of adventure, freedom, and meaning.
was. I just dipped my big toe in to test the waters, hoping that the magic of the New Year
Sometimes I feel as if I opened a Pandora’s
intentions would carry me through. I wasn’t
Box full of surprises and unleashed a whole
truly disciplined, consistent or accountable
plethora of unexpected opportunities. Who
enough to myself or others to change my daily
would have ever believed that sticking
habits.
to my New Year intentions would see my book placed by the bedsides in the Waldorf Astoria,
I told myself terrible untruths that my dream of
the very same hotel that I once worked for as a
one day becoming a published author could
cleaner?
wait until “someday.” What I didn’t realise is that “someday” could have easily turned into
The guilty pleasures of life!
“never,” and with that, my hope of ever leaving the corporate world.
They say, there’s no magic to New Year resolutions and there truly isn’t.
Unbeknownst to me, sticking to my New Year resolution set me on the path towards exponential growth. The confidence that came from having a sense of a “mission accomplished” only strengthened my resolve to set even more daring and audacious goals for 2021.
Fast forward two years and four bestselling titles later, I realised that keeping a New Year resolution doesn’t have to be a struggle.
Sticking to a New Year resolution can be easy, but only if you let it.
Daring Woman pg 39
The magic is in MAKING IT HAPPEN.