DARING WOMAN MARCH 2021
Yoni Magic Emerging
from the Cocoon
e i l l e h S Double Dog . r D y y k s Hip
Dare You
www.BecomingHerBook.com
In This Issue 8 | Double Dog Dare You
26 | Emerging From the Cocoon
11 | Yoni Magic
30 | The Stressed Woman
15 | Celebrate Women
33 | 11 Easy Ways to Spring Clean Negative
20 | The Exorcism of My Mind and Beliefs
Energy From Your Home
Daring Woman pg 3
Letter From the Editor It's time to celebrate being a woman! Women's Day is March 8 and we couldn't be prouder to be a woman's advocate!
This issue is filled with cover to cover empowerment and womanhood. From Dr. Shellie Hipsky's Double to Dare to Laurie Jonas' spring cleaning negative energy, you'll find TONS of inspiration, positivity and celebration.
The biggest takeaway I want you to get from this issue and all issues is to CELEBRATE YOU!
Self-care is not selfish. It's necessary. As someone who just learned her health is not where she wants it to be, I've realized it's time to put myself first.
Creating boundaries in work and life, learning to say no, eating healthier, and exercising are just a few of the upcoming changes I'll be making in my life as I embark on a journey of self-care and selfcelebration.
I'd love to hear your tips for self-care. Be sure you are in our Daring Woman Facebook group and share them with the others! Click below to join.
Speaking of clicking...did you know this magazine is interactive? Click on ads, look for blue boxes with live links and visit our advertisers and authors.
Join Us in Our Facebook Group! Click Here
Contributors Julee Hunt Julee Hunt is a Worthiness Warrior who inspires audiences to transform hopelessness, exhaustion, and depression into purpose, playfulness, and meaning. She has a vision to create a world where worthiness is the way for everyone. After a job loss and life pausing illness, she devoted herself to reclaiming her worthiness becoming the leader of her life. She has appeared on the Oprah Show, the Hay House “A Trainer’s Guide to Infinite Possibilities Certification Course,” Infinite Possibilities conferences, and on multiple podcasts. Julee authored the #1 Best Selling book “You Are WORTHY! Even When You Believe Otherwise: A Guide for the Overwhelmed Perfectionist.
Dr. Shellie Hipsky Dr. Shellie Hipsky is the CEO of Inspiring Lives International an “Inc. Verified” motivational media company. The American Chronicle called her “A top entrepreneur in the U.S.,” and The Huffington Post categorizes her as a “Fierce Woman.” She is the president of the nonprofit 501 (c)(3) the Global Sisterhood, a charity that guides and supports women and girls toward their dreams and goals. Dr. Shellie has earned the titles of “Entrepreneur of the Year in Inspiration and Empowerment,” the “Women of Achievement Award,” “Best Woman in Business,” and “VIP Woman of the Year.” Three of her 13 published books, based on 100 amazing interviews from her Empowering Women Radio show, the Common Threads trilogy focused on Inspiration, Empowerment, and Balance, earned international bestseller status. The former tenured professor of Ph.D. students and host of Inspiring Lives with Dr. Shellie on NBC has keynoted internationally from Passion to Profits in Hollywood to The University of Oxford in England. She now teaches her signature EmpowerU Master Class through her VIP 1:1 leadership coaching, thereby making the world her classroom. This powerful entrepreneur and influencer is the founder and editor-in-chief of Inspiring Lives Magazine: The Magazine for Empowering Women. Dr. Shellie has been featured on over 25 magazine covers and on all the major TV networks, and she is delighted to bring the world BALL GOWNS TO YOGA PANTS: Entrepreneurial Secrets to Create Your Dream Business and Brand through Morgan James Publishing. Learn more about Dr. Shellie Hipsky’s mission and how she can support you at www.ShellieHipsky.com
Daring Woman pg 5
Helena Smolock CPT-RNC Founder and President of Velocity Athletic Training - Has over 35 years’ experience in the Fitness Industry. Her journey as a Track Athlete in High School led her to a rewarding career in Fitness. Her original career choice was to become a Criminal Lawyer but after spending six months of work experience at the courthouse in Ottawa, Ontario CANADA (Criminal Division) she quickly shifted her mind and gears! Today, Helena continues her journey as a Fitness Professional and as a Master Athlete. She has assisted corporate clients, semi-pro athletes, clients with cancer, heart disease, and postrehab clients with injuries to lead an energetic and healthier lifestyle. She has led thousands of classes of various levels and with the everchanging industry is certified to teach and lead STEP, SPIN, STRENGTH, AQUA-FIT classes. Participants in each class, as well as, each Personal Training client has experienced her compassionate, firm, technical but comical style of leadership! She continues to remain current in this ever changing industry. Visit her at www.velocityathletictraining.com
Laurie Jonas Laurie is the creative writer at Living Marvelously. Living Marvelously is a blog to share ways for you to make the most of this beautiful adventure that is life. She created the Living Marvelously Journal and recently published the book, The 5 Ls of Living Marvelously. Her articles have been featured on the websites TUT.com, Thrive Global, and Making Midlife Matter. She is an Infinite Possibilities Certified Trainer and Certified Spiritual Coach. She lives in Minnesota with her husband of 30 years and has raised three beautiful, independent children who live in their own homes across the USA.
Teresa Syms Teresa Syms is a Coach who transforms lives. She is a Life Coach who specializes in taking you through a step by step process to change your habits and patters of life that are stopping you from achieving your dreams, improving relationships and being happy. Her belief is that your past does not define your present or future. Teresa is also the multiple award-winning author of, A Century of Secrets. Her book clearly shows how destructive lies, secrets and abuse can become if swept under the rug for generations. Her mission is to inspire others to break the destructive cycles.
Daring Woman pg 6
DOUBLE
DOG DARE YOU D R .
S H E L L I E
H I P S K Y
Truth or Dare My popsicle-sticky hands were raised to my face so no adults could read my lips if they happened to peer into the dimly-lit treehouse. The corners of my lips turned up in a mischievous smile as I whispered to my best friend Carol, “I Double Dog Dare you!”
The other girls squealed and let out “oooohhhsss” as they knew I had thrown down the verbal gauntlet. In my mind as a kid, a Double Dog Dare was the ultimate challenge you could propose to friend during a game of Truth or Dare.
When I played this game as a child, I always thought that by saying “truth” and just not lying was a cop out because it was easy to do that. However, to complete a “dare” it meant I had risked something, gone that extra step, armed with the knowledge that my world (which back then to me was my friend group of four preteen giggling girls at a sleepover) would hold me accountable to do the mission set forth by the friend who propose the dare.
Internal Imaginings Now, I am an adult. I am whispering right to you. I Double Dog Dare you to…
With your eyes still shut… Utilize all your senses: What sensations would you feel, see, taste, smell, and
Close your eyes after you read this paragraph
hear?
and the bullet points below. Once they are
Is your heart racing with exhilaration?
shut, I want you to think of what you truly
Is your head held high in pride and huge
want out of life. What is the dream that you
smile plastered on your face?
always thought was just too out there or too
Imagine walking into a room filled with
big? That thing that you dropped at some
people after you accomplished this great
point in your life, never really got started, or
task that you once thought would be
maybe someone hinted that it was a bad idea?
impossible. Is there a spring to your step?
That’s what I want you to picture in your
A little strut to your walk?
mind’s eye. Envision doing that thing whether it be traveling, winning a coveted award,
Now with your eyes open, grab a sheet of
finishing your novel, or taking a side hustle to
paper or your computer down your dare and
the next level. Imagine how you will feel
how you will feel when you more past the
when you are successful in that goal.
fear, take the risk, and go for your dreams!
Daring Woman pg 9
Success Conveyed The last step to set up the dare is to pre-
Or maybe you will plan ahead to enjoy your
determine how you will celebrate and
favorite meal or take a well-earned bubble
communicate to the world that you
bath. Knowing how you will hold yourself
accomplished your goal.
accountable and the way that you will happily celebrate your accomplishment is important.
Will you tell a dear friend or a mentor, post it on social media, or write an article about it in
Go For It!
a blog or magazine?
Or will you remove the image that symbolizes the dare from your Vision Board (if you created one) and move it to a Gratitude Board, so that you can see for yourself that you accomplished that one big thing that you envisioned?
Or maybe you will plan ahead to enjoy your favorite meal or take a well-earned bubble bath. Knowing how you will hold yourself accountable and the way that you will happily
It is time, my friend. I Double Dog Dare you to make your dreams come true. It is worth the risk and the investment of time, energy, and/or money. You deserve the very best! You are more than enough and worthy of daring to reach for that next level.
This goes beyond a childhood game of Truth or Dare. This is your life and career. Be bold. Be daring. Be the best version of you that you can be!
celebrate your accomplishment is important.
Daring Woman pg 10
YONI MAGIC- THE WORLD'S FIRST VAGINA SUPERHERO an interview with founder, Ariel White What if sex and female anatomy were
DW: What is the purpose behind My Little
normalized in childhood, girls grew up with
Yoni?
an understanding of the changes in their bodies, boys recognized that the female body
AW: My Little Yoni’s is the world’s first
was to be respected, and consent was
vagina superhero. Her purpose is to smash
embedded within the fiber of our society?
shame, celebrate all things vulva, and help parents raise the next generation with age
Daring Woman interviews the founder of My
appropriate sex-ed and female wellness
Little Yoni, to answer just such a question
curriculum.
and more. She fights for positive and scientifically accurate education, making difficult subjects easier and fun to talk about whether through her collectible charms or Yoni Magic book series.
Daring Woman pg 11
My Little Yoni is OBGYN backed and
Second, this form of sex-ed is typically the
approved. Our board of experts includes
SAME education that parents got, so parents
leadings sex-ed educators, child
don’t even fully understand their own bodies,
psychologists, and influencer moms.
making it uncomfortable to have honest or informed conversations with their kids.
DW: What prompted you to create such a brand?
Layer societal shame and a busy modern lifestyle on top of it and we have an
AW: Having worked in the field of
understandable dilemma where a.) Parents
sexual wellness for 15 years, I wanted
don’t typically realize how important it is to
to affect the root level when it comes to
take control of their kids sex ed, and b.) even
vulva care and sex ed and identified that
when they do, there are limited resources
systemic change starts with moms and the
available to them.
conversations we have with our children. We cannot expect parents to be prepared I’ve worked with hundreds of women who
when no one adequately prepared them.
have negative attitudes about their vulvas and sexuality, and felt saddened by how much
That’s why My Little Yoni’s new book series
negativity there is for girls and their bodies in
‘Yoni Magic’ covers a wide range of topics
culture.
ranging from vulva anatomy, how babies are made, masturbation, consent and more so that
One night I had a dream where I was
parents can teach their kids everything they
inside the Yoniverse, and there were vulva
need to know about to have healthy sexual
superheros flying all around me. That’s
development.
where the original design came from and that combined with my professional background, is how My Little Yoni got its start.
DW: Why do you think it’s so difficult for parents to talk to their children about sex ed and personal self care?
AW: Many things stop parents from having these conversations. First off, often parents think that sex education in schools will take care of these conversations for them. But in fact, only 17 states require what’s taught in sex ed to be medically accurate!
Furthermore, most of these programs are abstinence based, (a model of sex ed proven to be mostly ineffective,) which means they only cover sexual risk, and are often harmful to young women.
Daring Woman pg 12
DW: You mention teaching about female
Self-pleasure naturally develops younger in
self-pleasure on your website. Don’t you feel
life and is an experience for a girl with her
that’s too intimate to be teaching to our
own body. It doesn’t have anything to do
children?
with anyone else!
AW: This is a taboo subject, and like all our
It is not the same as partner sex at all. So the
content we leave it to parents to discern what
fear that masturbation will lead to earlier
they feel comfortable sharing with their
sexual activity is both unfounded and
children. The reality however, is that
inaccurate. In fact, girls who have a healthy,
masturbation is developmentally completely
active relationship to masturbation/self-
normal and natural for children, beginning at
pleasure typically engage in partnered sexual
young ages. So our stance is that whether you
activity later in life and have an easier time
talk about it or not, it’s happening. The
communicating their needs to partners once
difference is whether it’s happening in the
they do.
context of shame and hiding or openness and honesty.
When girls are left in the dark when it comes to knowing their own vulvas, it’s much more
We aren’t suggesting you bombard your kids
common for them to accept being treated as
with information before they are ready for it,
sexual objects and tolerating painful sexual
but instead to plant the seeds of ‘it’s normal
experiences, mostly because they don’t know
and natural to explore your body in the
the difference or have the language to speak
privacy of your own room.’
about it.
We have parents frequently reporting
But if girls have a direct relationship with
catching their daughters rubbing their
their own vulvas and own pleasure, they are
genitals manually or on objects and are
much more likely to have a voice and more
concerned on how to handle it. We see it as
choice when it comes to partnered sexual
an opportunity to have an honest
relationships later in life.
conversation about what’s appropriate, "Your body belongs to YOU and explore your yoni
There will come a time where children will
in your own private space," vs. condemning
become curious about masturbation, and
the activity overall.
rather than keep it secret, hidden, and let it turn into a taboo topic that they’ll carry
Children develop at different rates, making
shame about, we support parents in learning
masturbation something for parents to be
how to talk about it.
aware of and rehearse having conversations about so that when it becomes relevant, they
DW: Why did you choose the term Yoni
can provide their children with healthy
rather than vagina or vulva?
boundaries, all while supporting normal development without shame.
AW: After interviewing hundreds of women we realized they preferred the word yoni and
We also think it’s helpful to differentiate
what it means: sacred gateway. There can
between sex and pleasure. It’s natural for
also be confusion and resistance when it
anyone with a body - including babies - to
comes to words like vagina and vulva. We
enjoy pleasure.
use the ancient term yoni to represent a
So a girl getting to explore
her own body and vulva actually has little to
honoring relationship to the vulva, to identify
do with sex.
the character of My Little Yoni and to be a
Daring Woman pg 13
doorway into proper anatomical
The other great thing about starting the
conversations where our audience learns the
conversation as young as possible is that
difference between the vagina (the canal) and
children are naturally open and curious.
the vulva (the entire external genitalia.) When you start the conversation young, you We also like that yoni is a fun, celebratory
quickly learn that all the discomfort is yours
word combating a culture where we
as an adult -- not the child’s. As long as
commonly hear phrases like, “Don’t be a
parents practice and work at getting more
p*ssy,” and other negative rhetoric linking
comfortable, kids can grow up having a
what’s vulvar to weakness or lesser status.
comfortable, natural, open, honest relationship to these subjects.
Picking a word that’s celebratory, rather than something technical or slang, helps girls feel
Having My Little Yoni as a character in the
more comfortable and proud of being a girl
household destigmatizes the vulva from the
and teaches boys the importance of respect
beginning, removing shame, and establishing
and honoring.
female anatomy as normal, natural and the source of life. Having a foundation of proper
DW: Do you think it will ever become
anatomy and sex-ed from young ages helps
normal to openly discuss our vulvas?
prepares kids to not accept porn and other overly-sexualized imagery as reality later in
AW: This is the world we are striving to help
life.
create. Destigmatizing and desexualizing the vulva will only help women, and the men
Unfortunately, for most kids today their first
who love them, feel more comfortable talking
introduction to the vulva is either in porn or
about it.
in sexualized content that then makes proper education and positive attitudes harder to
The one thing I’ve found is that once you
introduce.
start talking to women about their experiences, they quickly realize that they aren’t alone. The shame we typically carry
DW: What else would you like our readers to know?
around our vulva starts falling away when we find the tools and community to start talking about it.
AW: We’ve discovered from talking with our MLY community that most women only start learning about vulva care after an infection!
DW: What age are your products geared towards?
This drives home our mission of wanting women - of all ages - to actively learn about
AW:
While the choice comes down to
parents’ comfort level, we recommend introducing your kids to My Little Yoni
their vulvas from a young age so that they not only can experience pleasure but avoid unnecessary pain.
early. As early as birth! It’s developmentally normal for children to be curious and start asking questions about their bodies and other people’s bodies from a young age.
This is why we have partnered with leading OBGYNs to help pair the fantastical aspects of My Little Yoni with cutting edge science and vulva-care tips that most women miss out on.
Daring Woman pg 14
CELEBRATING WOMEN
Ivana Desanic is a talented and innovative
Now, at 21 years of age, Ivana is thriving in
fine art photographer and visual artist from
West Asheville with her husband and their
Bosnia and Herzegovina.
two dogs. Since moving to Asheville in 2018, her business has flourished in the active art
At a young age, she realized she did not have
community which has allowed her to upgrade
any hope for her dreams in her home country
her equipment.
due to the conservative and oppressive culture against women.
She has cultivated many meaningful personal and professional relationships with creatives
In November of 2016, she made the
in our area thanks to the connections she
courageous decision to move to America in
formed through social media. She loves fine
pursuit of a brighter future. She first lived in
art portraiture with an aethereal, painterly
Salem, WI, with her mother, then came to
aesthetic, and enjoys bringing her
Hatteras Island and spent some time on the
imagination to reality through digital art and
Carolina coast before settling in Asheville in
composite work.
2018. She has been internationally published At a young age, Ivana knew in her heart that
multiple times and is most proud of the
she wanted to create art. Gifted with an
Adobe design Achievement Award as Top
active imagination and a passion for finding
Talent Photographer in 2019.
beauty in the world, she saved her money and purchased her first camera when she was just
Together with her core team of makeup
18.
artists and hair stylists, Ivana has created a female empowerment project inspired by the
Being a new immigrant to the States without
visuals in Ariana Grande’s 7 Rings music
funding for formal training, Ivana did not let
video. The aesthetic is a blend of her
this obstacle get in the way of her dream. She
signature fantastical style and bold, high
began to search for alternative and accessible
fashion looks with a cotton candy color
education. With diligence, determination, and
palette.
a dauntless work ethic, she began the seemingly impossible task of becoming self-
The goal is to showcase Ivana’s art while
taught. She began pouring over countless
featuring the “who’s who” of women in the
YouTube tutorials and social media accounts
Asheville area from mothers to business
to learn the basics of photography and
owners, members of the LGBTQ+ and
Photoshop.
BIPOC communities and more.
Through local Facebook groups, she
This photoshoot is a joint effort put together
connected with models, makeup artists, hair
by Ivana and her cohort of
stylists and costume designers offering free
creatives.
shoots in order to build a quality portfolio.
Daring Woman pg 16
Daring Woman pg 17
Daring Woman pg 18
Photographer: Ivana Desancic
Makeup: Lindsey Ramseur of Crafted Beauty
Models:
Amanda Anderson of Dollbox
Missy Baker
Productions
Jessica Coffield Ginger Kelley
Hair:
Jenna Wilson
Jenna Wilson of Atlas Beauty
Jessica Davis
Heather Halstead of Atlas Beauty
Jennifer Rodriguez Karis Roberts
Videographer: Dimitri Schemel
Location: Amarx Construction
Sunglasses: L’optique
Daring Woman pg 19
THE
EXORCISM OF MY MIND AND BELIEFS
BY TERESA SYMS
A tiny, crippled baby girl was born on June 7,
She had long, sandy-blonde straight hair,
1960. Unloved and unwanted by her mother,
large dark brown eyes and a smile that lit up
brutalized and sexually assaulted by her
the room, (when she smiled). Teresa was
father, she became her sister’s toy for
complete opposite to her sister. Her looks
torment. This little girl was born with an
attracted a great deal of attention from men
enormous burden to carry. Her name…is
of all ages.
Teresa. Finding the unwanted attention an invasion to Her deformed legs were straightened at birth
her soul, she grew to believe she was, “FAT
and for the next two years she spent her life
and UGLY.” So why would they approach
in full leg casts with a steel bar between her
her so often?
feet. At fourteen, Teresa fell in love with a young What this baby needed was love, compassion,
man who was kind, gentle and quiet. They
kindness and nurturing from her family. What
became inseparable, and her confidence
she got was a detached, emotionally unstable
grew. He was her rock and filled a void in her
mother who cared little for her; an alcoholic
life. He loved her and gave her a sense of
father who brutally beat her, and a sister who
security and peace she had never known
hated her very existence.
before. However, as relationships go, theirs became rocky and he began comparing
As Teresa grew, the beatings and
Teresa with other girls he was attracted to.
psychological torture from her family intensified. The girls were left alone before
“Your hair isn’t long or blonde enough.”
and after school. Under the care of her sister,
“She is shorter and thinner and looks hot and
Teresa was never allowed in the kitchen to
sexy in a bikini,” he would comment. With
eat breakfast or make lunch for school. From
each cutting word, Teresa’s confidence
the tender age of five, she existed on one
decreased, and depression grew. When their
meal per day, thus giving life an eating
relationship ended, she found herself isolated
disorder.
and again subjected to her sister’s heartless and cruel criticisms.
If she misbehaved at meal times, her one meal per day was denied as punishment.
Teresa believed she was, “FAT and UGLY,”
Being physically removed from the table,
unwanted and unlovable. To ease her pain,
Teresa was forced to kneel in front of a full-
Teresa turned to alcohol at fifteen years old.
length mirror, on beer bottle caps her father
When alcohol alone no longer numbed her
had nailed to plywood (pointed side up). As
pain, she began mixing it with the
she knelt the spikes of the beer caps dug into
tranquilizers her mother insisted the doctor
her knees. Her sister would flash a sadistic,
prescribe. Her mother believed that
cruel smile and whisper, “You’re FAT and
“medicating her would snap her out of her
UGLY.” The psychological damage was
depression.”
taking root in the little girl’s core beliefs. During this time, the constant attention from “You’re FAT and UGLY,” was voiced often.
men continued. Still believing she was “Fat
The teasing, torment and torture continued
and Ugly,” Teresa couldn’t understand why
for years, but at the same time, Teresa was
they approached her. When she was partying,
growing tall, athletic, and strong and was
drunk, trying to create an escape, she was
quite attractive.
very vulnerable.
Daring Woman pg 21
In her loneliness, she soon gave into the male
Teresa believed only a weak person would
attention. There was always someone who
allow the violence and verbal battering she
‘wanted’ her, and in time she understood
received daily. A weak individual needs
their motive. They wanted sex.
medication and alcohol to survive. A weak person would accept such destructive, hurtful
Having been sexually assaulted by her father
words.
at ten years old, and by her family doctor repeatedly in her early teens, Teresa assumed
Where was her strength; her fighting spirit;
that giving into sex was how to make
and her truth? She had fallen too far down
someone love you. She knew it was wrong,
into the black pit of self-destruction.
but the desperate need to feel wanted was a powerful drug for her self-destruction.
The words, self-esteem, self-compassion, self-love, and self-awareness were foreign to
During her teen years, Teresa existed on very
her. Teresa believed what she heard. No
little food, lots of alcohol, and prescribed
longer caring about herself by nineteen, her
medication. Her mind was a battlefield for
life hit critical stages. Unable to find comfort
loneliness and confusion. Every day her self-
in the many relationships she had, one night
loathing grew larger while her family life
she decided she had enough. Suicide was the
remained a ticking time-bomb.
answer.
Despite burying herself in many sports, her
The next afternoon, Teresa began drinking
main love was bicycle racing on an indoor
heavily. Never being hungry, she skipped
velodrome. Teresa could never outrun the
dinner and went to her room. Listening to
painful words the plagued her mind. Always
music usually gave her comfort, but this day,
having a larger build than most girls she was
she found it fed her downward spiral. The
strong and well-muscled. The summers of
hate she felt for herself pulled her into the
endless back-breaking tobacco work added
bottle of pills. Nothing changed. That
strength. But it didn’t matter how fit she was,
evening, Teresa got behind the wheel of her
she always saw herself as “Fat and Ugly.”
father’s car. Her destination was a massive
She saw every flaw, every ounce of fat, and
old maple tree in the country. She had
every mark was another battle scar. She saw
memorized the location because she raced her
and lived what became ingrained in her mind.
bicycle past this tree often and knew it was her destiny. The pain in her heart was
By seventeen, Teresa had developed an
unbearable, and she knew there was no fight
untouchable loathing for herself. Her sister’s
left to save herself. Life had been beaten out
words had wormed their way into her very
of her.
existence. She rarely looked into a mirror, and when she did, all she saw was an abused,
Tears streamed down her face as she made
fat and ugly girl looking back at her.
her last turn towards her death. Sobbing uncontrollably at the injustices of her life,
She also saw a borderline alcoholic, who was
Teresa turned the wheels to the right for final
depressed and used sexual encounters to
impact. As the wheels crunched on the
escape the loneliness, isolation and
gravel, a peace washed over her body. She no
psychological abuse of her home life.
longer felt the effects of the pills or alcohol. She was sober and very aware of her
Mostly what she saw was, weakness.
decision.
Daring Woman pg 22
Seconds before impact, the steering wheel
Believing she had nowhere to go, Teresa
was wrenched sharply to the left, pulling the
stayed and ten days later, with his hand in a
car back on the road. As the vehicle slowed,
cast, they were married. After twenty-five
as voice whispered to Teresa, “You’re Not
years together and having her nose broke two
Finished Here Yet.”
more times, Teresa woke up to the fact her marriage was a battle ground of insanity. The
In shock and disbelief, she turned on the
man she thought she loved had taken the
interior lights expecting to see someone with
place of her sister and she was fighting back.
her. She was alone and crying out a lifetime
Nothing she did was right. She was always
worth of pain. Teresa felt comfort and
compared to others; she spoke incorrectly,
encouragement. Later, as she lay in her bed,
walked wrong, acted wrong, everything about
Teresa knew she had just received a miracle.
her was wrong! She had lost all confidence in herself.
Soon her sister was no longer part of her life, having become pregnant at seventeen and
Later, unable to work due to a back and
then married off. Even though there was no
shoulder injury, Teresa’s children became her
contact, she still heard the words, “Fat and
world. She cooked, cleaned, and tried
Ugly.” She heard them in her own head, she
desperately to give them a home where they
heard them attached to every good comment
were loved and wanted. Unfortunately, as the
she received, always believing people were
years went by, her sons learned from their
lying to her.
father how to treat her.
In time, Teresa met and moved in with a
Now at forty years old, Teresa knew she had
young man she believed was her soul-mate.
one chance. She enrolled in college to
Believing this was love, Teresa gave
reeducate herself, while keeping her plans of
everything she had to this relationship. The
her freedom to herself. Over the years her
beginning was good, until he embarrassed her
weight had increased, leaving her husband
by passing out drunk at a party. She verbally
with a sense of dominance over her. He took
chastised him but was unprepared for his
great pleasure in criticizing her. “Look at
reaction. His response destroyed her world.
you!” he would say. “Who would want you?”
The back of his hand smashed across Teresa’s nose causing a loud crunching noise
Despite his comments, her plan was set, and
and temporarily blinding her. Stopping the
she would soon be free of him. At forty-
car in the middle of the road, she grabbed her
three, Teresa moved out on her own and went
face expecting to find blood. When her sight
to college full time. Soon she met and fell in
returned, she noticed he was asleep in the
love with a great man, who worshiped her,
passenger seat. Silently sobbing, she drove
and supported her. Both had been abused by
home, then left him asleep in the car and
their former spouses and understood triggers.
walked into the house.
They provided each other with healing love.
Later, he came crashing into the house to
When Teresa turned forty-six, she graduated
confront her, and she stood her ground.
college and landed a great job in Human
While this 6’ 6” angry man cursed at her, it
Resources. Life was incredible! Her boys
was when his fist came flying at her face, she
visited regularly, and her live-in step sons
quickly moved which caused the contact with
were showing signs of growth.
the door to break his hand. Hours later he begged her to drive him to the hospital.
Daring Woman pg 23
In 2006, Teresa married Don. They were
My life-long passion of writing came into
happy, courageous and faced every challenge
play as I dove deep into my second passion
together.Eight months later, Teresa was
of helping people through their darkest times
almost killed in a head on car accident.
in life.
Seconds before the impact, as she screamed
Despite my background, I was always the go-
out in terror, she heard, “You’re Not Finished
to person when people had problems. I
Here Yet.”
immersed myself into becoming a Certified Life and Assertiveness Coach, which not only
Severely injured, as she waited for the
helped me with residual painful issues, but
emergency transport, she was unable to
provided me clarity and a solid understanding
swallow the fear in her throat. Unable to feel
of the words, “You’re Not Finished Here
her legs or move her neck she felt betrayed
Yet.”
once again by life. She lost her job and spent the next several years in treatment for a brain
By working with my hypnotherapist and
injury, muscle damage throughout her body,
creating a ‘safe’ place for the “little,
her third severe whiplash, severe spinal
neglected and abused Teresa” to grow up in, I
damage and Post Traumatic Stress.
healed my wounds and am now armed with an understanding of human behaviour.
All the horror that was her past life flooded back and compounded her now broken body
As a Coach, I encourage my clients to stand
and fragile mind. “Why?” was her only
in front of their mirrors and embrace every
question. This question went unanswered for
beautiful detail of themselves. Even the
several years.
flaws.
# # #
After surviving years of abuse, neglect, humiliation, depression, I have learned the art
Several years after my accident, I explored
of self-compassion, self-love and finally,
hypnotherapy, past life regression therapy,
self-respect. I can look in a mirror and know
and received exceptional guidance and care. I
the words, “Fat and Ugly,” are not me. I look
walked into my own life and true power for
into the dark brown eyes and see a woman
the first time.
who has survived many traumatic events and is strong and beautiful. I am a woman who
I found my courage and felt stronger than I
protected her loving, kind and compassionate
had ever been. In time, I was able to
heart.
understand and come to peace with the abuse and trauma that was my past life.
As I age, I understand I can never be the athlete I once was, or the young woman who
Continuing my journey, I wrote my first
modelled bridal clothes. I have curves where
book, “A Century of Secrets,” where I expose
I don’t really want them as well as greying
the horrors of my life, the neglect and trauma
hair and wrinkles, but all of those things add
that almost destroyed me, and the cycles of
up to make me who I am…I am beautiful, and
abuse, and self-destruction that has
when I allow my inner light to shine through,
encompassed generations of my family.
I feel what the creator made inside of me…a heart that will be forever giving and an advocate for those who do not see their own beauty and worth.
Daring Woman pg 24
EMERGING FROM THE COCOON BY JULEE HUNT
The darkness of winter reminds me of being
listened to Trauma Release podcasts from
inside a cocoon.
Daring Woman (https://daringwomaninc.com/stories/),
For me, it is a time to go within and listen to
worked with a doctor who could remove
the wisdom that I sometimes ignore. I spend
trauma energy stored deep within my cells,
more time in meditation, journal more pages
and I journaled and journaled and journaled.
each day, and read more books that fill my
Little by little, I could feel the trauma release
soul.
from my body.
With Spring, there is a renewal happening
You see, I was born with a huge dose of
outside in the world. Flowers are peeking
fairness, a strong sense of honesty, and a
through the dirt beautifying our world. Days
voice to stand for both. I had suppressed most
are getting longer as the early darkness of
of it though and let my voice go silent as a
each day fades away. I am reminded to
coping mechanism. If I don’t speak, I
get outside more and let Mother Earth share
cannot be abused.
her bounty and her energy with me. I pulled Oracle cards. The first question I I feel like a butterfly emerging from my
asked was, “What message do you have for
winter cocoon, shedding my winter wrap, and
me about past traumas?”
seeing my transformation as I learned to fly with my new wings.
The answer was clear. My positive focus and willingness to receive had opened the door to
I suddenly have the urge to clean out every
an abundance of help and opportunities. This
drawer and closet in my home. A symbol of
is when the
making room for the new wisdom I gained
Trauma Course appeared in my email
during the winter months in my cocoon. A
inbox
sweeping out of the old and making space for
When Daring Woman started the Trauma
the new. I feel lighter and want to skip
Release podcasts
instead of walk.
A friend shared with me about a doctor who helped her release trauma from her
My winter was spent doing trauma work. My
body.
Dad died in 2020 and even though I had forgiven him for the abuse he inflicted on me
The second question I asked was, “What
as a child, after he died, I realized that I had
message do you have for me about present
deeper wounds that I had suppressed. I had
trauma?
created coping mechanisms that were inhibiting me from living life full-out.
Again, the wisdom was spot on. I was in for some sensitive emotions and could expect
All this came to the surface soon after his
times of heightened emotions and sensitivity.
death. So not only was I dealing with the
This calls for extra self-care and gentleness.
daily traumas that unfolded in 2020, but I
This was when I:
was also dealing with my own internal childhood trauma. It was a rough year. I was
Found myself crying daily for the pain
glad for winter to arrive so I could go into the
people in the world were going through
cocoon and work through all of it.
regarding the pandemic
I took a trauma release course from Dr. Laura
Felt a profound sadness and grief
Koniver (https://www.intuition-
regarding my own childhood trauma
physician.com/),
Daring Woman pg 27
Doubled up on my self-care by
6. Explain a positive decision that you’ve
meditating twice a day, journaling more,
made as a result of what you went through.
and spending more time in nature and
From this one trauma, I chose to parent
contemplation.
differently. I parented with loving kindness, non-violent communication, and positivity. I
The third question I asked was, “What
chose to break the cycle of abuse.
message do you have for me about future traumas? Because you are doing trauma release work, the future will be filled with ceremonies and celebrations. This is when I: Decided to celebrate the progress I was making in my trauma release journey Added a releasing ritual as I finished the work on each trauma Realized that by doing this work now, I was preparing myself to handle trauma more easily in the future.
Dr. Laura Koniver gave me eleven journaling questions. She is the Intuition Physician and I have followed her for years. She taught me
7. Write about a strength, a personality shift,
that the body can heal itself when given the
or a capacity that you have now that the
right fuel. Fuel can be food, movement, or
trauma created in you. I have an ability to
self-talk.
love my own child deeply and unconditionally because of my trauma. I’m a
1. What trauma did you survive? Write out
survivor, am thriving, and have learned to
every little detail. It all bears wisdom. I
love myself. I also know I can depend on
feverishly wrote the whole traumatic
myself.
event.
8. If you knew your best friend had to go
2. How did you survive it? This is where I
through the exact same trauma, what advice
could see my coping mechanisms.
would you give them beforehand? I would let
3. Who believed in your ability to survive
her know she is lovable just because she is
this? Imagine my surprise when it was “Me”
here. That is her power. Don’t ever let
that was one of the believers.
anyone tell you differently and don’t ever
4. What part of your body carries your pain
give your power away to someone
and why? I listened to every ache, pain, and
else. Your truth is your truth. Not what other
disappointment in my body and was able to
people think.
see where I was carrying my trauma.
9. If you knew your best friend had just gone
5. If you could only leave yourself with one
through that exact same trauma and was
sentence on it, what would you say to your
feeling the same way you feel now, what
past self who is still in the middle of the
advice would you give them? Dig deep – see
abuse? The powerful message was, “This one
yourself through my eyes – no one earns the
incident does not define you or make
right to tell you that you are unlovable. Hold
you unlovable.” Wow!
on to your inner wisdom – see your magnificence and let that person go even if they are a relative. They are dealing with their own demons and insecurities and taking it out on you. That is not OK. You are a child of God and God doesn’t make junk.
Daring Woman pg 28
10.
What is your biggest wish in this
These eleven questions are an exercise you
lifetime? That this trauma no longer impacts
can use over and over. I decided to do one for
my life negatively. What can move you
every trauma I had experienced in my life.
closer to this goal? Do the trauma work and
My trauma release journey continues and
release the trauma and the coping
each day I feel stronger and more confident.
mechanisms. I absolutely can turn this around
With spring emerging, it f eels like I am
and heal.
coming out of the trauma cocoon and
11. God has read your story and written you a
transforming into a beautiful butterfly.
letter. What does God say? Advice? Words of comfort? Explanation? Apology?
What a metamorphosis this work offers.
Dear Julee, You are a child of mine made from the purest love of all, my love. You were born in perfection and here to live an imperfect life. You are lovable as you are. You do not need to change who you are for approval from others. Approve of yourself and teach others how to treat you. Those who are unconscious or too deep in their own despair will not get it. Send them love and let them go! You are magnificence in motion. You are made of love, you are love, and you are lovable. This experience will teach you that more than a person who never experiences trauma. You are brave and courageous. You got this! You are doing the inner healing work removing the coping mechanisms holding you back. Forgive your parents. They came into the marriage with so much baggage. They did not have the support system you have. Know that they loved you dearly. They just didn’t always know how because they lacked selflove. I know you are strong enough to do this healing work. Take my hand. I’ll be your guide and wisdom keeper!
I love you unconditionally! God
Daring Woman pg 29
BY HELENA SMOLOCK CPT-RNC
10 DIYS FOR YOUR BEACH TRIP The Stressed Woman
In the days where our grandmother’s had the
According to the American Psychological
opportunity to take care of the household on
Association (APA) –
a full-time basis, in today’s world, the role of women has changed since that time period.
Women are more likely than men (28 percent vs. 20 percent) to report having a
Working mothers make up a significant
great deal of stress (8, 9 or 10 on a 10-point
part of the labor force, accounting for
scale).
nearly one-third (32%) of all employed women.
Almost half of all women (49 percent) surveyed said their stress has increased
There were around 23.5 million employed
over the past five years, compared to four
women with children under the age of 18
in 10 (39 percent) men.
and nearly two-thirds worked full-time, year-round, according to the U.S. Census
Women are more likely to report that
Bureau’s 2018 American Community
money (79 percent compared with 73
Survey (ACS). (Information published in
percent of men) and the economy (68
May 2020)
percent compared with 61 percent of men) are sources of stress
With these statistics, a hidden condition
while men are far more likely to cite that
which has a negative impact on a woman’s
work is a source of stress (76 percent
overall health – This condition we call
compared with 65 percent of women).
STRESS sets in. Waking up early, get the kids ready for school, drop them off at
Women are more likely to report physical
school, rush over to a full-time job and
and emotional symptoms of stress than
depending on the work environment, your
men, such as having had a headache (41
day may be a good one, or a stressful
percent vs. 30 percent), having felt as
one.
though they could cry (44 percent vs. 15 percent), or having had an upset stomach
Add into the equation - financial stress,
or indigestion (32 percent vs. 21 percent)
women most often do have lower
in the past month.
salaries than men. The next day you hit the repeat button and back on the rollercoaster ride we call responsibility and life.
Daring Woman pg 31
What are the remedies to Stress?
Intensity – Your Personal Trainer will assist you in developing a sound workout program
1. Create Balance - As women, we most
according to your exercise level. (Beginner,
often, spread ourselves thin. We take on so
Intermediate, Advanced)
much responsibility. It is written within our DNA to nurture and uphold our environments
Type – What type of fitness and or physical
so that everything is in equilibrium. In order
activity are you ready to incorporate? To
for everything to be in equilibrium, you must
define – Exercise & Fitness activity is a
first create BALANCE. Balance, is created
structured workout routine usually created by
when you decide to take what’s not important
an instructor and or a Personal Trainer.
and break free from it. Thus, learn the art
Physical activities include walking,
of “Let it go”. The less baggage there is to
gardening, shoveling snow etc.
carry the more you create BALANCE. Time – How long will you engage in fitness 2. Create Boundaries – If you’re a woman who says “YES” to everything and everyone
and physical activity? Rule of thumb – 30 minutes is a great starting point.
and have and view yourself as the last one on the list to creating balance, then you have not created any boundaries. Learn to say “NO” to requests from family, friends, and coworkers.
5. SPAAAAH! – Taking time away to visit a SPA is another great way to release STRESS. A back massage, a facial, a manicure, a pedicure, a body wrap…AAAHHH. It’s an opportunity to close your eyes, download the
3. Journal - Your journal is a tool which provides a roadmap, a vision of your day to day life scenarios. It will put things into perspective for you to make changes, to
clutter in your mind and release negative emotions and thoughts. As well, it’s an opportunity to have someone else take care of YOU!
create balance, to create boundaries as well as have you understand your feelings and thoughts in your day to day activities with others and most importantly within yourself.
6. Hormonal Testing - Aside from aging, STRESS creates havoc on the female hormonal system. While PMS, Perimenopause, Menopause are a natural part
4. FITT – Incorporating a Health and Lifestyle change is very important in reducing STRESS and in maintaining optimal energy levels throughout your day. By integrating the FITT principle you create a roadmap
–
of aging, these are processes we experience during certain intervals of life. STRESS can accelerate hormonal imbalance and activate underlying health issues which include but not limited to Heart Disease, Diabetes, Hypothyroid, Hyperthyroid and Eating disorders.
Frequency – How often are you going to schedule time to go to the gym to work out?
7. Last but not least – Hold YOURSELF in
How often will you schedule with your
high regard. Understand that it is NOT
Personal Trainer, Yoga instructor? Ex. 2 – 3
selfishness to put yourself first.
times per week.
Daring Woman pg 32
11 Easy Ways to Spring Clean Negative Energy From Your Home
by Laurie Jonas
Spring is just around the corner, and it will
11 Ways to Clear Negative Energy from
soon be time to clean out all of the cobwebs
Your Home
and dust that have accumulated in the dark corners all winter. But, while you are at it,
Open your windows. Just letting some fresh
don’t forget to clear out all of the negative
air in can immediately alter any heaviness.
energy in your home at the same time.
You could also use a broom or your hands to “shoo” the negative energy out. Imagine it all
Our homes are an extension of our own
going out the window.
thoughts, emotions, and feelings. Have you ever walked into a home and just noticed the
Crystals. Place crystals around your home.
heaviness in the air? Maybe someone was ill,
According to an article on Power of
or there was some arguing going on.
Positivity, here are 5 that will do the trick. • Black Tourmaline acts like a sponge that
Our homes are where secrets lie. It’s often
absorbs negative energy and offers
where we let go of our emotions and where
protection.
we air our “dirty laundry.” It should be a safe
• Amethyst carries with it a strong ability to
place, so we tend to let it all out in our homes
purify and protect the space and cleanse any
where no one else can see us.
heavy energy in one’s aura. • Fire Agate is a fiery stone that can make
How do you know you have negative energy
you feel more alive and give you a sense of
in your home?
purpose, which will help to dispel negative energies.
Are you…?
• Jet Stone carries with it an energy of great strength and protection to those who wear it.
• Feeling a little off
It is also used to prevent psychic attacks and
• Finding yourself complaining a lot
remove negative energies from your aura that
• Trying to find your voice
have been embedded from exposure to
• Not in the mood to go anywhere
others’ energies.
• Confused about how to reach your goals?
• Obsidian is a highly spiritual stone, carrying with it great metaphysical powers. It
That negative energy can build up just like
protects against negative entities, and your
dust or grime and needs to be cleared out.
aura will quickly become purified.
Just like changing the batteries in your fire
Houseplants. Plants are a natural filter for
alarms, make it a habit every time you spring
negative energy. Having houseplants or even
clean.
small bouquets of fresh flowers can help. Lavender, eucalyptus, and white sage are powerful energy clearing plants.
Daring Woman pg 34
Burn Incense. You probably thought I was
Have Fun and Bring Love Into Your
going to start with this one. When I think of
House. Once your house is clean and cleared,
clearing negative energy, I picture a spiritual
do a happy dance with your favorite music
healer dressed in robes and lots of bracelets
blaring! Or have a party and invite your
walking around the house with burning sage
favorite people. Use your house as a positive,
humming mantras. Well, nowadays, there are
high energy place for lots of love to flood in.
ways for you to do this yourself. I bought all of my kids some Palo Santo Incense Sticks
Don’t Forget to Clear Your Own Energy
for Christmas. Palo Santo is often used for
Too. All of this can only work if you are also
purification and is said to possess healing and
working on not bringing more negative
cleansing powers. They all used it to clear
energy into your home. By all means, use
their homes. I used mine to change the
your home as a safe place to express
energy in my office.
emotions, but also be aware if you are letting it linger.
Buy a Himalayan Salt Lamp. You have seen these and probably have one but wondered about the benefits. Here are a few. It improves air quality, mood, sleep quality, energy levels and is an environmentally friendly light source.
Re-arrange Furniture. Mix things up. Give yourself new views or vantage points. Create newness without having to spend any money. You could also swap out pillows or decorations with brighter, lighter feeling ones.
Get Rid of Clutter. Clear out all of the piles you may have been accumulating over the winter—extra papers, magazines, books, heavy coats, boots, etc. Do a seasonal purge of your closet. Make sure you love the decorations in your home. Do the Marie Kondo method and make sure you love everything you have displayed. If not, it goes!
Remove or Repair Things That are Broken. This may have already been taken care of while you were uncluttering, but be sure to remove, repair, or replace anything that is not working. Broken, unreliable pieces in your home do not attract a peaceful, loving atmosphere
Daring Woman pg 35
A few ways to clear negative energy in
Go on a little treasure hunt for items that
yourself:
bring you good energy. Look for photos, mementos, candles, books, or anything that
• Meditate
elicits a sacred feeling to you.
• Write affirmations in your journal • Exercise vigorously
Maybe you have a special heirloom from a
• Yoga or Pilates
deceased loved one. Whatever you include,
• Take a hot shower
make it beautiful!
• Be grateful • Breathe deeply
Taking the time to clear negative energy is
• See a therapist or healer for cupping,
something we should do regularly. Tie it to
massage, or acupuncture.
other habits you have in your life; that might
• Pray
be Spring Cleaning at this time of year.
• Help Others • Set a daily intention for a good day
As I have said before, you can’t be positive
• Be active in doing things you love to do
all of the time, but you need to be aware when your negativity takes over and do what
Create a Sacred Space. After you have
you can to clear it out.
cleared your house, create a sacred space to do the things that promote positive energy in
“Energy is contagious, positive, and negative
yourself. Your sacred space can be anywhere
alike. I will forever be mindful of what and
you can get some privacy. Find meaningful
who I am allowing into my space.” Alex Elle
items already in your house before you buy anything new.
“If you want to attract positive things into your life, then begin now by spreading positive energy about.” Lynda Field
Daring Woman pg 36
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