Be fab fall 2013

Celebrating Baby Boomer Women

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Sat., Nov. 2nd, • 10-6 pm • River Cree Casino • The Venue

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www.fabulousat50.com Let AMA Travel help you plan your next vacation with your family and friends. Proud to be a sponsor of Fabulous@50. www.ama.ab.ca/travel As Alberta’s premiere multi-modality service provider, we uphold Exceptional Patient Care standards and a leading edge diagnostic imaging reputation. www.canadadiagnostics.com Providing a direct link to the community you live and work in. Excited to be a sponsor of this great event! www.coffee-news.com Dr. Rose Backman’s work is about empowering others to take the risk in order to manifest powerful positive thoughts, knowing that we all deserve a fantastic life. www.drrosebackman.com Servus Credit Union is a member-owned, community based financial institution. We are honoured to be involved as a sponsor for the second year. www.servus.ca Shaw is committed to enriching and improving the communities we serve. We care about families, education, the environment and more, supporting an array of organizations through funding, time, talent and innovative partnerships.www.shaw.ca

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Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 3

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EDMONTON

Celebrating the baby boomer women

You are

fabulous and you deserve to be rewarded for it!

Editor Dianna Bowes dianna@fabulousat50.com Designer Creative On The Move www.creativeonthemove.com Sales E: sales@fabulousat50.com P 780-470-0749

us@50

A Fabulo

mber e M d n hat mo

Dia

t ive club es, s lu c x e rvic is an gifts, se nities u o y s e giv opportu nt d n a s t benefi he vibra y. t f o t r a to be p 50 communit s@ Fabulou

Only $199.5 0 a year.

DIAMOND BENEFITS: (Over $1,000.00 value) FREE Membership to Fabulous@50 meetup Menopause Survival Kit: $75+ Loyalty Program: $100 + mos Coaching: $300+ Chatelaine Magazine Subscription VIP Status @ Seminars & Fabulous@50 Tradeshow: priceless EBook: $25+ Be Fabulous! Magazine: Twice a year.

Gifts from local businesses.

For more information and to sign up :

www.fabulousat50.com 4 • Be Fabulous! I www.fabulousat50.com I Fall • 2013 Issue 12_fall 13.indd 4

Publisher Creative On The Move www.creativeonthemove.com

Thank you to our Contributors: Dianna Bowes, Shirley Borrelli, Jennifer Parks, Laurel Vespi, Sue Paulson, Deborah Kasowski, Cloud Nine Pajamas, Catherine Saykaly-Stevens, Andrea Holwegne, T. Loan Gowers, Charmaine Hammond Are you interested in becoming an expert for Be Fabulous?

E: info@fabulousat50.com Be Fabulous! is an event magazine, published in collaboration with Fabulous@50 events.

Want a copy? www.fabulousat50.com/magazine The articles represent the views and opinions of the individual authors and not necessarily the publisher.

No material should be reprinted in whole or in part without the expressed written permission of the publisher/authors. The contents of Be Fabulous! should not be used as advice of any kind. Please consult the appropriate professionals for any advice. Be Fabulous! does not constitute endorsements of, or assumption for, liability for any claims made in the advertisements and or advertising information.

Follow us on Facebook www.facebook.com/befabulousat50

Follow us on TWITTER https://twitter.com/Fabat50

Follow us on PINTEREST http://www.pinterest.com/diannabowes/boards

Download Scanlife on your SmartPhone.

Scan the QR Code to find out more about Fabulous@50.

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The Fabulous@50 ladies are gearing up for the November 2nd Fabulous@50 Experience. This year’s theme is “Friendship.”

WHAT’S

Inside

6 Editorial:Living the Dream 8 Looking Fabulous at 50:Fun-draising Feels Good 10 Freshness Counts When it Comes to Friendship 14 The 4C’s of Courageous Dialogue and Peaceful Conflict Resolution 16 Friends Celebrating • Fun and Fab 19 8 Tips to Use RRSP’s to Your Maximum 22 Meet New People and Gain New Friends 26 Nurturing Business Relationships that Matter 21 8 Tips to Use RRSPs to Your Maximum 30 Quirky Cafes 33 Gluten Free Pizza 36 Are You Friends With Your EX? 34 Creating an Effective Workout 37 Fabulous Events Birthday Photos: (Page 6, 16)Ealanta Photography

A love for photography, life & having fun is what Bonnie-Jean McAllister, owner of Ealanta Photography is all about! She has been blessed with much fun & success in a diverse range of work including, TV, music, commercial, events, portraits, weddings, travel and fine art photography and is always ready for the next challenge! www.EalantaPhotography.com • 780-619-3582 EalantaPhotography@gmail.com Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 5

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{editor’s note}

Living the Dream Welcome to the latest edition of Be Fabulous!

I hope this finds you happy, healthy and enjoying whatever makes your heart sing.

Photo by Ealanta Photography

In June, we celebrated Fabulous@50’s 5th birthday, as well as my own 55th. I guess you could say that 5 is my lucky number.

(For this year, anyway!) I’ve taken this milestone as an opportunity to reflect back on how far we’ve come. From the foundation of an idea came the culmination of a blog...this led to our first meetup, with a trade show and magazine soon to follow. Now we are licensing to other ladies across Canada.

What a remarkable ride!

To date, the accomplishments also include: • 12 issues of Be Fabulous Magazine • 5 Trade shows • Over 136 meetups with over 400 members • Over 53 e-newsletters with over 2,000 readers to date {continued on page 35}

DIANNA BOWES • Founder of Fabulous@50 • Graphic Designer/Artist • Editor Dianna is a strong, passionate and creative baby boomer woman with a life full of experiences that she could write a couple books about and maybe will one day. Dianna was awarded the 2011 YWCA Women of Distinction’s Turning Point Award. dianna@ fabulousat50.com • fabulousat50.com 6 • Be Fabulous! I www.fabulousat50.com I Fall • 2013 Issue 12_fall 13.indd 6

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11528 Jasper Avenue 780.414.6401 Issue 12_fall 13.indd 7

www.urbanbodyclinic.com Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 7

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FUN-draising feels good!

Hypnotist Wayne Lee hypnotis guests at the fundraising event for Suit Yourself.

Photo by Nicole Ashley

I have had the pleasure to organize several successful fundraising events with Dianna Bowes and Rennaye Miller in support of Suit Yourself. Us, along with a truckload of various volunteers helped raise over $15,000 collectively. We are very proud of that accomplishment.

Despite the hard work and tireless hours to create something out of nothing, I will fondly remember the joy, giggles and deep belly laughs while at our events.

These memories will forever stay with me.

hairy back yet being completely attracted to him from playing air guitar like a rock star.

We had worked our butts off to organize that event and appreciated Sherwood Park Toyota donating their showroom.

Can you imagine, they moved all of the cars out of their showroom to make room for the cocktail tables, chairs and tables we rented for our sold out crowd of 140 people!

We had cupcakes, beer, wine, floral arrangements, door prizes and a wide variety of silent auction items all donated!

My goodness people are generous.

In 2011, Dianna asked Wayne Lee to do a hypnotist show.

By far, that was one of my most favourite nights spend with friends.

The founder of Suit Yourself, Karmen Masson agreed to be hypnotized as did Dianna’s husband, John McEwan. My gosh the funny things Wayne had them doing that night; like looking at a man with a

Many of the family and friends that volunteered to organize that event are still connected and enjoying each other’s time to this day. When people work together towards a common dream or goal; it keeps them connected in a meaningful way.

•••

Fundraising connects you to your community that builds fabulous friendships for a lifetime.

•••

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It is FUN to raise money for others in need: F: family, friends, food, fabulous memories in planning and supporting a charitable event U: unselfishly giving of your time, talents and money to support another human being and cause who needs your support N: non-stop engagement with others who are like minded that brings on a deep sense of purpose and belonging.

All of these: priceless.

Fundraising connects you to your community that builds fabulous friendships for a lifetime.

Happy 5th birthday Fabulous@50 and to Dianna Bowes, the visionary to see what is possible and to have the courage to step up and step out of her comfort zone to create a fabulous experience for all who participate.

Shirley Borrelli continues to raise money for Suit Yourself. For more details on her upcoming events, please visit www. shirleyborrelli.com/events.html or call 780.235.5506 • SHIRLEY BORRELLI : Image and Style expert.

Shirley Borrelli, B.Ed is a fun, energetic and results driven expert who can build your confidence to attract more success in your life. She has become a trusted advisor to hundreds of women looking for personal development coaching, shopping and wardrobing strategies. She has been seen on all the major television networks in Edmonton. She can be reached at: info@shirleyborrelli.com; www.

ShirleyBorrelli.com; 780.235.5506.

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{LIFE IS JUST A PHASE}

Freshness counts when it comes to

friendship

When you think of something being stale, bread is probably the first thing that comes to mind. Stale bread no longer has all the qualities that we love most about bread. It is hard and unpleasant to eat.

Unless you are making Tuscan bread salad, there’s not a lot of use for stale bread. You don’t often go looking for staleness. Keep the windows closed, the air becomes stale and heavy. Stay out of the loop too long and news becomes stale and uninteresting. The definition of the word stale includes things like “having lost freshness or palatability”, lacking spontaneity”, or “ impaired in vigor or spirit”. None of which sound too appealing.

If staleness is not something desirable, then why are we so willing to tolerate it in our relationships?

Some of our friendships are meant to last a lifetime and they take commitment and creativity to keep them fresh. But there are lots of other relationships that we outgrow yet we continue to put our time and energy into them. Think about the people who make up your social circle. Take a moment to consider who gets the bulk of your time and energy. How fresh are those relationships?

Relationships change over time. That’s because we change over time.

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Some of our relationships change along with us and others become stale. Sometimes people we have been friends with no longer share the same interests or even values. We just end up taking different paths. Sometimes our friends include people with whom we never really shared an authentic bond. We came together perhaps through work or another social situation and a so-called friendship was created.

The people you spend your time with have a direct impact on your sense of life satisfaction and fulfillment. Given that there are limited hours in a day and that relationships take energy to nurture, it makes sense to be conscious and intentional about which friendships you foster.

Here are two ways to determine if a friendship has become stale: 1. Is this relationship mutually satisfying?

If upon reflection you realize that one or more of your friendships are a little stale, consider how much time and energy you are willing to commit to develop or restore this relationship. It may be that it is time to move on respectfully and gracefully. It may be that this friendship needs a little tender loving care. Either way, it probably begins with some bold conversations - with yourself and others.

If you wish to distance yourself from a friendship, start creating some boundaries about how much time you want to devote to the relationship. Keep the tone positive. Frame things from the perspective that you have changed, not what is “wrong” with the other person. If you want to refresh a relationship, have a candid conversation about how you are feeling, how your friend is feeling and what you both want to do to make things stronger going forward. Celebrate what is wonderful in your friendship.

As with many things in life, we often give The key word here is mutually - that too much time and attention to things means there is give and take in the that are not important and less to those friendship. Or is the relationship lopsidthings we value most. Now’s the time to ed? It’s more draining than it is fulfilling. take a fresh look at your relationships. • It’s all about them and rarely about you.

Do you support and encourage each other to be the best you can be?

2. What is the quality of the In a fresh relationship, friends help conversation in the relationship? each overcome obstacles and In her book Fierce Conversations, author celebrate successes. The prevailing Susan Scott declares, “The conversation atmosphere is positive, uplifting, is the relationship.” In other words, the joyful and loving. qualities of the conversations we have with others defines the quality of the relationships we have. Superficial relationLaurel Vespi is a certified life coach, ships have trivial conversations. One sided author and motivational speaker who conversations reflect one sided relationhelps women find more balance, fun and satisfaction no matter what phase of life ships. Deeply connected relationships they are in. Her new book, To Be Awake have meaningful conversations. provides readers with simple principles for mindful & intentional living. Learn more at www.stonecirclecoaching.com

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Photos Courtesy of Yala

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4 C’s

The of Courageous Dialogue and Peaceful Conflict Resolution Here are four tips to help you in your next courageous dialogue:

Friends don’t always see eye to eye. The thought of “conflict” causes many people to lose sleep, cringe at the thought of the impending conversation, or avoid it all together, sometimes resulting in a wounded friendship. In reality the desire to avoid is not really about the disagreement itself, but more about the stress of the situation and fear (of what your friend will think of you, what if it doesn’t get resolved), assumptions, not knowing how to resolve it, and worry about hurting the relationship. As a mediator and dispute resolution expert for many years… here’s one thing I know for sure! The longer you leave the situation… typically the tougher it is for you and your friend to resolve.

Here’s the good news.

Think of the tough conversations as an opportunity for “courageous dialogue”. By this I mean having the conversations that matter most and are mostly avoided.

1. Calm - the moment you react to the other person’s emotions, get caught up in their reactions, or react emotionally, the state of calm is out the window. To reduce the risk of saying or doing things that you regret later or having to do a mulligan (the do-over), simply stay calm, remain focused on the issue and be present in the conversation instead of drifting into your internal chatter.

2. Clear- the more clear you are, the more effective the dialogue. Avoid assumptions as they are usually wrong. Instead ask questions and speak clearly. A great way to be clear is to practice first. When you write down what you want to say, then practice in front of a mirror. Your confidence will build and you’ll be less emotional about the issue. Here’s the great news-- practicing doesn’t just help create more clarity, it also helps with confidence.

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3. Concise- in uncomfortable situations many people are plagued by ‘run on’ communication, and the other person zones out, or their eyes glaze over. Instead, imagine yourself speaking in bullet points. Make a statement and pause instead of running the messages into one another.

Allow time for thought and reflection from the other person. Invite them into the conversation.

4. Congruence- mean what you say and say what you mean. This will help avoid mixed messages. When you bring your best version of you to the conversation, and when you are authentic, you are already starting out on the right foot.

FAB@50

Survey Says...

1. What do you do to stay healthy?

Dance (2) 6% Yoga (3) 9% Walk/Run/Bike (5) 15% Play or listen to music (2) 6% Journal/Write (0) 0% Meditate/Prayer (2) 6%

When you bring the four C’s into your next dialogue you will find yourself speaking more courageously about the topics that matter most and are mostly avoided.

Charmaine is a transformational speaker, bestselling author, on a mission to make the world a better place one conversation at a time.

Charmaine Hammond - Bestselling author, On Toby’s Terms, Bounce Forward, Toby the Pet Therapy Dog Hammond International Inc. www.charmainehammond.com or www.TheOriginalTeamToby.com Twitter: hammondgroupbiz Facebook: Hammond International Inc.

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facebook.com/bajamedgroup Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 15

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Fabulous@50

Celebrates 5 Years

FRIENDS

Celebrating FUN & FAB

••• She’s effervescent, like an overflowing glass of bubbly; not in spite of time, but like a fine wine, her layers, subtleties, bright bouquets and bold fabulosity keep improving with age.

•••

Or is Fabulous@50’s hip and sophisticated founder, Dianna Bowes, more akin to a Crantini cocktail? Or a Cosmopolitan? Tough call.

Whichever, this fall, Bowes will be raising a glass to celebrate another milestone.

This year marks the 5th anniversary of her popular trade show for baby-boomer women: The Fabulous@50 Experience and Martini Party, which has sought to inspire, entertain and educate thousands of women in midlife since 2009.

On top of that, the self-described “professional social convener,” webmaster and editor of Be Fabulous! magazine is turning (even-more-fabulous-@) 55.

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••• The First Annual Fabulous@50 Experience and Martini Party had over 50 vendors and 500 visitors. This year, Bowes expects more than 3,000 guests for the one-day show, on November 2, at the River Cree Resort and Casino.

•••

BRiNG oN tHe sWaG.

One August afternoon this summer a beaming Bowes reflected on her life-altering journey, from a window seat inside Cally’s Tea Shop on Whyte Ave. She said the past five years have been full of excitement and change.

“A lot of times, when women hit 50 they’re not having as many new experiences; either they’re not open to them anymore, or they’re just afraid to take on new challenges.”

Says Bowes: “I, for one, felt very disconnected, and I’m a pretty social person; so I figured, if I was going through this, a lot of other women must be too.”

To work through her feelings, five years ago Bowes began writing a blog about turning 50. It wasn’t long before other women started coming out of the woodwork to share their own insights and stories of upheaval around the half-century watershed.

These virtual connections spawned a Meet-Up group, open to any female in the 40-plus age group who wanted to connect and build friendships. In addition, Bowes launched a “conversations with Dianna” series, which held space every few months for intimate discussions on relevant topics such as menopausal health, personal development, financial planning and happiness.

A talk about de-cluttering one’s house would inevitably morph into a lively exchange of views on de-cluttering one’s life.

For Bowes, an early mid-life crisis spurred a fortuitous awakening, which turned her onto the powers of intention.

Long driven and goal oriented, a tumor diagnosis in her mid 40s left Bowes in a back brace and her 15-year marriage abruptly ended. Realizing then that she’d been “sleepwalking” through her life, Bowes dug deep and found the courage to let go of the past and reshape her reality.

She launched Creative On The Move, a company that combined her talents as a graphic designer, event planner and now certified life coach.

••• “For so many of us, 50 is a period of transformation: kids are leaving home, our bodies are changing, careers and relationships may be shifting or ending. As women, we can understand one another and laugh about it, offer our support and keep growing together,” says Bowes.

•••boomer woman • 17 Celebrating the baby

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Each day, she opened herself up to new opportunities and friendships, and also, eventually, fell in love again.

Life was fabulous. And then she turned 50.

to bring Fabulous@50 events to female baby-boomers across Canada, with licensing in the works for areas of B.C. and Nova Scotia.

Still, Bowes was ready to rock her half-century. She had the skills and self-awareness to deal with anything. Looking inward, then beyond herself, she chose to work towards empowering other women to embrace midlife, with all of its hot flashes, curve balls and unguessed blessings.

“I know there are lots of women in this country looking for something like this, that’s just for them. There are lots of really great networking groups around for business, but not a lot for the average woman,” says Bowes.

The First Annual Fabulous@50 Experience and Martini Party had over 50 vendors and 500 visitors. This year, Bowes expects more than 3,000 guests for the one-day show, on November 2, at the River Cree Resort and Casino.

“At our shows, when people walk through the doors, they’re treated as friends. We’re not just standing there in fluorescent vests waving them in, we’re welcoming them in; inviting them to be part of something special and intimate.”

The theme for her birthday edition is “Fabulous Friendships,” says Bowes.

••• “The best thing about the last five years is the people I’ve met and the many friendships I’ve developed.”

••• Bowes is currently unfolding her plan

•••

••• Swag bags and Martinis are otherwise meaningless, says Bowes. “We are all engineers here; you build your own reality.” • Jennifer Parks is a freelance writer for Soul Ink Ventures and a yoga retreat facilitator, based in Edmonton, Alberta. Learn more at www.jenniferparks.ca.

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Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 19

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8 Tips to Use

RRSPs

to YOUR Maximum

If you didn’t get around to putting anything in that RRSP for 2012, there’s still a silver lining: you have increased your “contribution room” for 2013 and future years. But that’s not the point of an RRSP, now is it? It’s all about building a retirement nest egg that accumulates free of tax while you’re working. And the sooner you start, the more comfortable and confident you’ll be when your retirement door opens.

So here are my top 8 tips to make sure you make the most of RRSPs as they relate to your personal vision of retirement.

1. Contribute.

Now. It sounds simplistic, but as the saying goes, “you can’t win the lottery if you don’t buy a ticket.” If you can’t contribute your maximum in a year, contribute as much as you can.

2. Make monthly contributions!

It can be difficult to come up with one large lump-sum RRSP contribution in February. By setting up a pre-authorized contribution plan and making monthly/quarterly contributions, saving for retirement will be easier.

Bonus: A systematic contribution plan lets you take advantage of dollar cost averaging. Ask me about it.

Money means different things to different people and it’s important to make sure you’re working with someone who understands you and your story. Let’s connect over coffee. I’m ready to listen. • *This article has been reprinted due to the high interest on this topic.

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3. Reinvest your tax refund.

It’s found money, even though it was yours all along.

By boosting your refund back into your RRSP, you’ll be on the road to a million before you know it.

4. Don’t let risk paralyze you.

Speaking of a million, it’s not easy to “save” a million bucks with interest rates as low as they’ve been in the last decade, so it’s also important to expand your investment choices. You can easily include mutual funds, exchange traded funds or stocks and can very often increase your return by one or two percentage points with only a small increase in risk.

5. Remember the tax man doesn’t treat all investments the same.

Another knock against being too conservative, interest income is taxed at your highest marginal tax rate. If you’re ultra conservative, at least consider moving interest bearing securities inside your RRSP where they’ll grow without tax.

6. Make an “in-kind” contribution.

If you don’t have enough cash to make your RRSP contribution consider contributing qualified securities that you already own rather than selling the securities and contributing the cash proceeds. There are a few tricks and special considerations, so make sure you get expert advice before you choose this path. I can help.

7. Consider international investments, Canada represents less than 3% of the world’s investment market. Investing in foreign securities can reduce risk and increase returns in your portfolio.

8. Don’t break open the RRSP piggybank!

Your investments grow tax-free inside an RRSP. If you use money from your RRSP now, you’ll pay a big chunk of tax off the top, and l lose the benefit of all that tax-sheltered growth.

Loan Gowers is an Investment Advisor and Financial Planner with BMO Nesbitt Burns. Her contact information is (780) 906-1678, 780 408-0591 or email: Loan.gowers@nbpcd.com or website: www.loangowers.com

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Meet New People And Gain New Friends Summertime is lovely. Late sunny evenings and warm breezes make it easy to get around and be social. With Fall coming fast, along with the dreary weather and cold nights, the effort it takes to go out can be exhausting. Do it anyway.

Here are nine steps to take, three for each Fall month.

1. Tell your friends what you are looking for Your true friends want you to succeed in life. Tell them what you want and what you are looking for. Do not be shy. Your true friends want you to achieve the goals you set.

Let your cheer leaders find and introduce you to things that will help fulfill you. Offer the same in return. <siNGle>

If you are single and loving it, great. Keep doing what you are doing.

RiNse aND RePeat

A true friendship has no time barrier. You simply pick up the conversation right where you left off, whether it was two days of two decades ago.

3. attend everY invitation you receive My grandmother was a brilliant woman.

Long ago she told me that I must accept EVERY invitation I receive, whether it was to a party, a work reception or to the opera. You never know who you will meet there. You will never know what new connections or new invitations you will receive if you do not attend.

If you are single and looking for a partner, ask your friends to set you up with someone. It is called a blind date. They used to be popular. Let them know that it is ok to introduce you to people that they know and you do not.

She was absolutely right.

2. Having trouble meeting NEW people? Start by rekindling relationships with old friends

4. Take care of yourself and live a healthy lifestyle

Do it. Get your calendar, daytimer and cell phone and schedule it in. Treat it like a checklist.

Call 1 friend you have not seen since school days.

Call 1 friend you have not seen in a decade Call 1 friend you have not seen in a year

There is no such excuse as “I am too tired” unless you are sick and contagious, attend. Going out leads to more going out.

It becomes viral.

When you meet someone, present yourself at your best, as a gift to improve their life. Would you treat a gift so poorly?

There are so many things about the human body that we cannot control. There are some things about the human body that we can.

By changing attitudes and taking action steps towards your health you take control of the things you can change.

Call 1 friend you have not seen in a month

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5. Do something you have never done before Do not know what to chose? Open the Activities Page and choose something you have never done before.

6. Take a new class When was the last time you went to school? Select a subject that you have never taken before. Pick a topic you know NOTHING about. Make new friends you would have never met otherwise.

Edmonton has great returning/continuing education programs; select one.

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Bonus material if single: Select a subject where the men outnumber the women.

Most single men are not sitting in classical music appreciation class or the theatre.

Try taking a whisky course, imported beers, antique or classic cars, biking.

Even if you are not crazy about the class, know that when it is over you will have the vocabulary to hold a conversation about the topic. That will get a manâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s attention.

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7. Get back into shape or improve the shape you are in

{

It may be an increasingly difficult task, but there are only benefits and no negatives.

Meet many people all at once and at a fast pace. That will get you out of your comfort zone.

As much as we would like to be able to do extreme sports and have a supermodel figure, it is not about that. It is about making small obtainable goals and taking similarly smaller steps to achieve them.

8. Be open to new ideas and try new things Living in your comfort zone means that you’re never challenging yourself. <Warning – you may die of boredom.> You do not have to climb Mount Everest.

Start with something small. Join a supper club where they pick different restaurants every week/month. Join one of the hundreds of MeetUp.com groups in the city.

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Bonus material if single: Try speed dating.

9. Make goals, not bucket lists The mindset of the bucket list leaves one with the feeling of finality. Your life is not over!

Setting goals offers so much more and challenges you to overcome and complete each and every one before going onto the next. • Catherine Saykaly-Stevens has over twenty years as a former website and internet marketing specialist, and is the former owner of Calgary Speed Dating.

She has written a speed dating book for the 40+ woman packed with information and advice to make the most of her speed dating event.

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Nurturing Business

Relationships that Matter

I have always loved watching interactions between people.

You can learn a great deal about relationships through the gestures, facial expressions, and body language. After all, experts say that 80% of communication is expressed nonverbally. In business, I have learnt that you must learn to read people and anticipate their needs and help meet their needs even though they may focus on their wants.

Be Present and Intentional. I have learnt that relationships need to be planted and nurtured through intention and unconditional service. You must show up and be present and devote your attention to the person you are speaking to so that they feel like the most important person in the world.

When you do this, people will also make you feel important too. Through conversation, learn what they need and think about how you can help provide a solution with information or a referral. People will always remember how you made them feel.

Sometimes I think networking gets a bad rap. I find it seems more like a speed dating scenario while your sharing your 30 second infomercial versus talking about business and getting to learn about people.

Especially when they hand me a card and say, “You need my card.”

I look down and say to myself another card for the deck. I would like to chalk it up to a budding entrepreneur but sometimes it is a seasoned one who did not pay attention to the clues that success leaves behind.

Learn and appreciate where they are right now. As an entrepreneur, business can be full of uncertainties and even loneliness.

You may sometimes feel that it is feast or famine and wake up in the middle of the night thinking about how you can stretch the money in your wallet to pay the bills.

Other times, you may feel that you are the only one going through a challenging situation.

This is the perfect opportunity to be a “great listener”. When you demonstrate empathy and understand some of the challenges that business owners or your customers face, you can appreciate and learn how you can help.

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5 Coming from a place of service is where the conversations all begin. What is the opportunity available to you in this relationship?

Determine how you can leave an impact. First of all, be yourself. People are attracted to you for what you bring to the world. How can you improve this relationship? How can you make this relationship better than when you entered it? If you seek to add, improve, or strengthen, you will be noticed and remembered for providing value.

Engage in the conversation. I know many people who go for coffee dates, lunches, and even fundraising dinners but never follow up or do anything beyond the first meeting. You can create many relationship starter opportunities but what matters most is what happens after you plant the seed. Relationships do not have the same needs. Some relationships require more care and attention. There are relationships that pick up where you left off no matter how much time has passed.

Lead by example. You can share your opinions. People are magnetically charmed by leaders who are confident in their abilities and who achieve results.

Business is about showing and telling people about what you can do for them.

They are not looking for a duplicate product or service. They are looking for something that helps them reach their goals.

Hopefully, you will help them stretch into their potential.

Put a halt people pleasing. When you try to please everyone around you, you sacrifice yourself. Be honest and stand up for what you believe in. Even though, people may not like to hear your opinion or your perspective on a situation, they can benefit from what you have shared.

I know that there have been times that I could not see something I needed to

change in my business or approach because I was too close to the situation. When people share constructive feedback, you can gain insight that can totally shift your business growth to one of prosperity.

Collaborate with others. There is definitely strength in numbers. When you collaborate with others, you are increasing your reach and sharing your network. Your network is equal to your net-worth. Relationships can be leveraged to create increased opportunities. Collaboration must be viewed strategically in order to profit in the long run. No plan can succeed without taking action. Most importantly, align with like-minded individuals who you can build up and who can stretch and challenge you to reach your potential. Do they make you better? Are you making this relationship matter?

Make a commitment to not only build relationships but nurture them. Building a sustainable business takes commitment, time, and dedication to service.

Check your ego in at the door. You must put aside your own needs and help others achieve theirs. Send an article, pick up the phone and ask how you can help someone, or offer a referral to someone you know at least once a week.

Focus on achieving your greatest return on investment – people. Get up from the computer and go where the people you serve are – make them matter!

Debra Kasowski is a sought after speaker, success coach, business strategist, and award winning best-selling co-author of GPS Your Best Life: Charting Your Destination and Getting There in Style and author of The Entrepreneurial Mom’s Guide to Growing a Business, Raising a Family, and Creating a Life You Love. Debra focuses on helping people shift their mindsets, make a strategic plan, and take action through marketing and productivity solutions. Find out more about Debra and receive a free mp3 download at www.themillionairewoman.com Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 27

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28 • Be Fabulous! I www.fabulousat50.com I Fall • 2013 Issue 12_fall 13.indd 28

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“There is nothing better than a good friend, great conversation and a hot cup of coffee.” ~unknown

Edmonton has so many little coffee and tea shops hidden away in places most people don’t take the time to look for.

Tucked in little corners of malls, side streets and in the middle of unsuspecting commercial areas, are little gems with delicious coffee, great food and atmosphere that encourages the coffee or tea lover to sit and enjoy the company of a good friend. We did our research this summer with the help of the Fabulous@50 friends and came up with list of fun places to have a “cuppa.”

Italian Centre

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v

Quirky Cafe • Cathy McMillan

Credo Coffee 10134 - 104 Street

Quirky Art Cafe 6535 - 111 Street

credocoffee.ca

quirkyartcafe.ca

Dauphine Bakery 10129 104 St

Remedy Cafe 10279 Jasper Avenue 8631 - 109 Street 10404 Whyte Ave

facebook.com/dauphinebakery

Duchess Bakery 10720-124 St

http://remedycafe.ca/

Sequel Cafe 10011 - 102 Avenue

duchessbakeshop.com

Elm cafe 10140 - 117 Street elmcafe.ca Blossoms cafe 10721 - 124 Street www.edmontonblossoms.ca

Blues Java Bar 5010 106 Ave NW Breadland - Oliver Square 11642-104 Ave Cafe Haven 9 Sioux Rd www.cafehaven.ca

Cafe Amore Bistro 10807 106th Ave. Cafe Sorrentino 10665 109 St caffesorrentino.com

Cally’s Teas.

10151-82 Avenue callysteas.com

Carrot Community Arts Coffeehouse 9351 118 Ave artsontheave.org.the carrot

Cha Island Tea 10332 81 Avenue chaisland.com

Clever Rabbit 10722-124 Street facebook.com/CleverRabbit

Expressionz cafe 9938 - 70 Ave expressionzcafe.com

yvanchartrand.com

Fresh Cafe and Espresso bar 10038 - 116 Street

facebook.com/ViesForPies

Vis for Pies 13408 Stony Plain Rd Wild Earth Bakery & Cafe 8902 - 99 Street 14238-85 Ave 10423-101 Street

freshcafeandexpressobar.com

Fusia Coral de Cuba 4990 - 92 Ave coraldecuba.com Italian Centre 10878 95 St 5028 104A St 17010 90 Ave italiancentre.ca

wildearthbakery.com

Zocola 10826 - 95 street zocalo.ca

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Tree Stone Bakery 8612 - 99 Street

Jeffreys Cafe & Wine Bar 9640 - 142 Street

Zuppa Cafe 9843 - 110 St

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www.facebook.com/ZuppaCafe

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LEVA CAFE - Bar 11053 - 86 Ave levabar.com

Mandolin Book & Coffee Company 6419 - 112 Ave mandolinbooks.com Mill creek Cafe 9562 - 82 Avenue millcreekcafe.ca

Expressionz Cafe • the Soup Queen Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 31

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32 • Be Fabulous! I www.fabulousat50.com I Fall • 2013 Issue 12_fall 13.indd 32

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Gluten Free

Hawaiian Whole Grain Pizza Fingers Ingredients Looking for some lunch box inspiration? These delicious and easy to prepare, gluten free Hawaiian Whole Grain Pizza Fingers are sure to be a back-to-school favourite for both you and your family.

¼ cup gluten-free pizza sauce 60 ml

“Going gluten-free is important for your health if you have celiac disease or a gluten sensitivity,” says Andrea Holwegner BSc, RD, a registered dietitian and President of Health Stand Nutrition Consulting Inc. in Calgary. “Even Canadians without food sensitivities are choosing glutenfree options to help make meal planning for a family member easier. Simple recipes like Hawaiian Pizza Fingers offer a convenient, tasty way to reduce gluten in your diet, and help families support the dietary needs of a family member.” • For additional gluten-free recipes, visit: www.udisglutenfree.com

Olive oil, margarine, or butter to coat pan.

Andrea Holwegner, the ‘Chocoholic Nutritionist’, is founder and president of Health Stand Nutrition Consulting Inc., which was launched in 2000. She manages a team of dietitians at her practice in Calgary, and is a media expert for the Dietitians of Canada and professional speaker.

Note from the Kitchen: Allow sandwiches to cool completely before packing for lunch to prevent sogginess.

4 slices Udi’s Gluten Free Whole Grain Bread ¼ cup shredded mozzarella cheese 60 ml 2 Tbsp. chopped fresh pineapple, drained 30 ml 2 Tbsp. diced ham 30 ml Directions Spread 1 tablespoon of pizza sauce on one side of a bread slice. Top with half the cheese, pineapple, and ham and place another bread slice on top. Lightly coat a non-stick frying pan with olive oil, margarine, or butter and warm over medium heat. Add the sandwich and cook for 3 to 4 minutes per side or until golden brown, flipping once. Transfer to a plate and make the second sandwich with the remaining ingredients. Slice each sandwich into four “fingers” and serve with the remaining pizza sauce on the side for dipping.

Makes 2 servings Recipe created by Stephanie Clairmont, MHSc, RD at The Clairmont Digestive Clinic courtesy of Udi’s Gluten Free Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 33

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{Dream • from page 6}

All of the above can be credited to the building of our business on personal relationships. Business and personal can seem like a bit of an oxymoron but it’s actually the foundation for our success.

The people I have met in the past five years are the most rewarding part of this endeavor...ladies who quickly became my good friends; including Charmaine Hammond, Debra Kasowski, Mariana Konsolos, Sharon Pandza and Kelly Falardeau (to name a few). These women share my passion for making a difference in the world...one fabulous lady at a time.

The opportunity to participate in the Suit Yourself High Tea, the YWCA Women of Distinction Awards and the Norquest College-1000 Women-1 Million Opportunities was both an honor and a privilege....and held moments I will never forget.

Yes, this year has held its share of excitement, potential and possibilities. But could I have ever imagined this outcome a scant

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five years ago?

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But see, that’s the thing about dreams when you resolutely follow the course to fulfill said dream, it has a way of working out...just as you’d planned. Somehow, by building an ever-growing momentum...by believing that your dream will become a reality...it carries you, much like a wave, to your ultimate goal.

In the end, it’s about believing in yourself...and your power to reach whatever personal objective you may want. When you feel that niggle of doubt, recognize that fear for what it is and power through.

Never let fear stand between you and your dreams!

And that, my friends, will elevate you to an even higher level of fabulousness! •

Reach for the stars, Dianna

In support of

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Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 35

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ARE YOU

FRIENDS with your EX? I confess. I’m a serial “wife”. Unlike many of the women of my generation who are celebrating 40 or more years with the same man, I have had three marriages, two of them churched. First there was me and my starter spouse – foolish and naïve at 19, we rushed into marriage because we were horny (no sex before marriage was deeply engrained!) It was a rocky eight years before we finalized the split.

Despite going our separate ways, we parted friends and wished each other well. I know he wanted the best for me, as I did for him.

Happily Ever After

Puzzled because my “happily ever after” had not manifested; I took courses, read books and journaled a lot about this whole topic of love. I began to understand that starting a friendship with me by learning to love myself was an excellent way to move forward in the love arena.

When I began dating again, I was fortunate to attract men who treated me like the princess I never thought I could be.

I was much more mature entering my next relationship. We dated awhile; then lived together for three years before the wedding bells rang. I was sure this was my happily ever after. For many years, we

-You’ve had the benefits – are you still friends?

worked hard on our relationship, nurturing it and each other.

We were just three months from celebrating our 23rd anniversary when I moved to my own place. It was a devastating time for both of us –a time fraught with feelings of anger, grief and every other nasty emotion people experience when a marriage breaks down.

Best Before Date

However, once we worked through the nasty stuff, we remembered that we had not only started the relationship as friends, we had vowed that we would always be friends, no matter what. That vow proved to be such a gift, not only to each of us, but to our child and surrounding families as we re-established that friendship.

When I see other couples still carrying festering wounds from long ago divorces, I feel great sorrow. It’s hard enough to experience the pain of a breakup. But still carrying those old hurts around years later only adds needless suffering – a hell of our own making.

It took a lot longer for me to start dating again. At 56, I wasn’t too sure if my “best before” date had expired or not! Nevertheless, I yearned for a “3rd time lucky” experience, which I was blessed to find.

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••• “People come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime.”

We’re in a new age where individuals can expect to have multiple careers throughout their lives.

••• It lasted five action-packed years before I found myself single again. Interestingly enough, we, too, have maintained a strong friendship, despite living in different parts of the city.

While I’m not sure if I’m brave enough to throw my hat into the ring yet a fourth time, I do feel blessed to have these wonderful men who still care about my well-being.

They’ve been there for me during serious life challenges, and I’ve been there for them whenever needed.

If I’ve learned anything through these serial relationships, it’s that having a life partner is one of the most significant personal growth opportunities out there. Even if we make a mess of it, we can certainly make the most of it by reflecting about what worked and what didn’t; then we can do it differently next time.

I know now that people do what they do based on their view of the world. When there’s a clash of views and behaviors, conflict is inevitable. To deal with that, it helped to find my compassion and practice my forgiveness for both of us. It makes for a much smoother path in the transition from live-in intimacy to an across-town friendship.

I’m reminded of that saying, “People come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime.” We’re in a new age where individuals can expect to have multiple careers throughout their lives. With that in mind, perhaps it’s also beneficial for many of us to have more than one life partner – after all, goals, needs and situations change over time, making one partner more suitable than another. The key to remaining friends is to learn to deal successfully with the strong emotions that are part of an intimate relationship.

So here’s a toast to my Beloved Ex’s: I’m endlessly grateful for the love, the lessons, the memories and the support. May you have benefitted from knowing me as much as I have been blessed by knowing you! • Sue Paulson is a speaker and author who loves being a catalyst for change and growth.

She can be reached through her website: suepaulson.com, or by e-mail: suetalk@telus.net

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Fabulous Events

Fabulous@50 Meetup

A group of Fabulous@50 ladies and their daughters participate in the first Tour of Alberta Family ride to raise money for the CASA Foundation. www.meetup.com/fabulousat50

Fabulous@50 ladies enjoying the Sip, Shop and Share Fundraiser for Suit Yourself. Held at the Fashion Event on April 13, 2013.

November 2, 2013

The Fabulous@50 Experience & Martini Party- Edmonton Come early - stay late, so much to do...shopping, speakers, beauty bar, martini bar...fun, door prizes. The first 500 woman will recieve this custom swag bag. Purchase tickets in advance and save. www.fabulousat50.com

Fabulous@50 members volunteer at the 2013 YWCA Women of Distinction Awards at the Expo Centre.

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Celebrating the baby boomer woman â&#x20AC;˘ 39

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