Be Fabulous! Issue 1 - Nov 2010

Official Sponsor the of Fabulous@50 Experience Please visit us a booth 73 & 74 in the Main Auditorium 2 • Be Fabulous! I FALL 2010

What’s Inside Our Contributors 5 Sweet Talk • Dianna Bowes 6 Looking Fab@50 • Shirley Borrelli

FALL ISSUE 2010

9 Featured Restaurant • The Melting Pot 10 Happiness • Elizabeth Manuel

Designed by

12 Real Estate Investing • Kim Berges 14 Featured Woman • Jennifer Parks 19 Financial Finesse • Donna Worthington

www.creativeonthemove.com

21 Fabulous Partnering • Sue Paulson Editor

22 Wine, Woman & Travel • Alison Phillips

Dianna Bowes

25 Life is Just a Phase • Laurel Vespi

Cover Photo:

27 Fitness • Jennifer Parks

Tracy Grabowski

29 Fabulous Events

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www.fabulousat50.com The articles represent the views and opinions of the individual authors and not necessarily the publisher. No material should be reprinted in whole or in part without the expressed written permission of the publisher/authors. The contents of Be Fabulous! should not be used as advice of any kind. Please consult the appropriate professionals for any advise. Be Fabulous! does not constitute endorsements of, or assumption for, liability for any claims made in the advertisements and or advertising information.

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Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 3

Pantone 300

History’s Repeating…

If we don’t transplant from time to time, we stunt ourselves. We need change to growI FALL stronger and better.

4 • Be Fabulous!

2010

HOLESonline.com

Sweet Talk •

Editorial By DIANNA BOWES

Letting go and moving on Our past is so deeply woven into our present-day personality, most of us don’t even realize how much of our private history has affected the person we’ve become. Sure, there are other factors that will affect the present-day version of you…but you know there has to be a reason all those therapists are making such a decent living.

Equally true is the fact that most of us have things from our past we wish we could forget…mistakes we’ve made…choices in hindsight better forgotten. It can be hard not to dwell on these less-than-stellar decisions… we review and chide ourselves under the ruse of needing to discover the lesson to be learned, lest we make the same monumental mistake over and over again.

At some point though, we need to let it go…and move on. The “coulda/ woulda/shoulda” becomes less about learning from your mistakes and more about not being able to push past them. There has to be a defining moment when we can give ourselves permission to delineate and define

{

Equally true is the fact that most of us have things from our past we wish we could forget ...mistakes we’ve made.. choices in hindsight

better forgotten.

a before and an after for ourselves… and then stick to it.

Now, we all know that if you’re naturally timid or lacking in self-confidence, it’s easy enough to say….not so easy to actually do. I get that. But, if the alternative is to continue following a preset path that causes you to respond to the query of, “How are you?” with words like, “Eh” then it may be time for a change.

Sometimes, when you’re embroiled in the middle of a hardship, you don’t even realize how much it’s dragging you down till you burst through the other side, see that bright, warm sun and take that first, deep, unencum{continued on page 30} bered breath.

I am a mother with 2 grown children and a life full of experiences that I could write a couple books about and maybe will one day. I am passionate about connecting and empowering women to living their lives to the fullest. I am a graphic designer and have always wanted to create a publication filled with positive and uplifting information. Enjoy!

Dianna Bowes • Email: fabulousat50@shaw.ca Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 5

Looking Fabulous at 50•

Season’s Glamour:

Festive Dressing

It’s that time of the year again; parties, celebrations, fancy hors d’oeuvres, chocolates and fine wine. What are you going to wear to all of these fancy events like the staff party and Christmas day? If there is ever a time of the year or occasion to dress all out, the holiday season is it! The following are hints for some outfit suggestions to offer inspiration. You may not readily have these pieces in your everyday closet so dust them off and dress up! Evening wear is worth shopping for new pieces as they tend to be classic and will serve you for seasons to come. Glamour includes coifed hair, more defined makeup, berry glossy lips, bling embellishments and jewellery. Doll up and deck out….the season is upon you!

Fabric The fabric needs to be luxurious; you want to feel it all night long. Think soft velvet, satin, silk lace, cashmere, fur, buttery leather; even feather embellishments. Sequins, beads, rhinestone, and metallic fabrics are strong for evening glamour accessories and embellishments. Try flowing pants with a fitted jacket sans camisole.

Show some cleavage! Make your bra lacy and sexy.

6 • Be Fabulous! I FALL 2010

BY SHIRLEY BORRELLI

Colour

Black continues to be strong for evening glamour. It is best to wear a variety of black material in the same outfit for elegance. For example, wear a velvet skirt (matte fabric) with a satin black sleeveless top with a fur (or faux fur) cape. Round out the outfit with a black patent leather purse and exotic leather shoes for a slight edge.

Choose jewel toned colours as an alternative to black: ruby red, sapphire blue, emerald green.

Fragrance Evening glamour requires a sensual fragrance. You gotta smell “some good”! Musks and other oriental fragrances have a heavier note to parallel the candle light party atmosphere better than a citrus daytime sporty fragrance. Layer your fragrances to create your own signature scent. Start with shower gel, body lotion, and fragrance. Apply to your skin not your clothes or jewellery. While you are at it, have breath mints or breath spray handy as this time of year calls for intimate conversations and greeting friends and family with hugs and kisses. {continued on page 7}

{continued on page 7}

{Season Glamour • from page 6}

Jewellery Diamonds, rhinestones, crystals and all other clear shiny gems are in order.

Have one or two statement accessories. Wear an oversized rhinestone bracelet with an oversized cocktail ring. Keep the rest of your accessories minimal if any. Shiny accessories sing glamour.

Hosiery No sweat socks, no thick cotton socks, no holes in your socks. Ladies, no reinforced toe pantyhose with open-toed shoes. Black fishnet stockings are chic this time of year. Pedicure a must!

Shoes Quality shoes that are in impeccable condition sing a song of elegance and sophistication. Ladies absolutely need to wear the highest heel they can manage. Comfort is not the priority. You are not walking a mile in these shoes. These shoes are all about polishing and finishing the outfit with as much sex appeal as possible. These shoes will never see the boardroom!

Accessories Carry a clutch purse in the same colour as your outfit to keep it quiet.

The attention will be on your statement jewellery pieces this season.

Keep your right hand free for shaking hands and one-armed hugs.

No shoulder bags allowed.

Hair, Makeup and Grooming Use hair products and fuss over your appearance more than you ever have.

Ladies, this is the time for the most glamorous of hair styles. Invest in a professional blow out. Have soft wavy tousled hair that begs to have fingers run through it. Wear glamorous makeup with darker, more prominent eyeliner, luscious lashes, and red lips.

Or go for a smoky eye with kissable glossy lips.

Shirley is a regular contributor to the media. She has appeared on Global TV, Access TV and was recently interviewed to comment on Prime Minister Harper’s image. Shirley is a member of the Association of Image Consultants International, AICI. Shirley graduated from the University of Alberta with a Bachelor Degree in Education and a major in Business.

Shirley Borrelli, B.Ed • Looking Your Best Inc. • 780-451-0661 Email: info@shirleyborrelli.com • www.ShirleyBorrelli.com Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 7

8 • Be Fabulous! I FALL 2010

Featured Restaurant : •

THE MELTING POT

At The Melting Pot, fondue truly becomes a memorable four-course dining experience where guests can dip into something different - and discover all the ingredients for a unique dining experience including a relaxed atmosphere, private tables, attentive service, fine wines and signature fondue dinners. We are excited to bring this interactive fondue experience to Canada, the first international location open right here in Edmonton! Whether it’s a romantic dinner for two, a happy hour party with friends, or a family gathering in our party room celebrating a special day, The Melting Pot delivers outstanding cheese fondue, salads, entrée fondue, and our famous chocolate fondue!

Want to try fondue at home? Try the Cranberry Cheddar Fondue to warm a cold night or to bring your family together for a memorable meal!

Cranberry Cheddar Fondue Ingredients: 2 and 3/4 cups (11 oz.) shredded Cheddar cheese 3 tbsp. all-purpose flour 1 cup hard cider (Strongbow brand recommended) 2 tsp. finely chopped shallots 2 tsp. dry mustard 2 tbsp. chopped sweetened dried cranberries 1 tsp. freshly ground pepper

2920-Calgary Trail NW Edmonton, AB www.meltingpot.com

(780) 686-7639

2 tsp. crushed walnuts Instructions: Toss the cheese with the flour in a bowl. Place a metal bowl over a saucepan filled with two inches of water.

You may also use a conventional double boiler. Bring the water to a boil over high heat. Reduce the heat to medium and pour the hard cider into the bowl. Stir in the shallots, mustard and cranberries using a fork. Cook for 30 seconds stirring constantly.

Add half of the cheese, and stir constantly until the cheese is melted. Add the remaining cheese a small amount at a time stirring constantly. Stir in the pepper.

Pour into a warm fondue pot and keep warm over low heat. Garnish with the walnuts.

Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 9

HAPPINESS •

BY ELIZABETH MANUEL

Sex, Orgasms,

and Happy Hormones Sex: it’s even better for you than I originally thought. This basic human instinct delivers a powerful punch. Orgasms release a flood of feel-great neuro-chemicals, including dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin: a triple cocktail of sublime bliss and happiness.

Do you want to feel closer to your mate or partner? Oxytocin is an important hormone produced in the brain involved with bonding and attachment. Usually low in males, orgasm causes oxytocin levels to soar, helping men to feel emotionally connected.

Please understand I am not advocating you become a sex addict or sex junkie. We do need other components in life for sustainable happiness. I am however urging you to get naked with your partner. Recently, at a get together, the subject turned to sex and most of what I heard was: “Sex? I’m married,”“Don’t have time for that,” or “I wish.” I found that while the comments were candid, they made me sad. How can something so vital be put on the back burner? I don’t understand that whole concept.

Oxytocin is a bonding hormone, and 10 • Be Fabulous! I FALL 2010

is the most powerful uniting force to enhance our primary relationships.

Don’t have a partner? Get naked with yourself.

Men take masturbation for granted and most single women I counsel and coach do not take “matters into their own hands” so to speak! While sex with a partner does have a few more benefits in terms of psychological and physiological benefits than solo sex, you still reap the rewards of more positive neural chemistry and stress reduction.

Why are many women still afraid to touch or pleasure themselves?

Is it old conditioning, religiosity, social morals, believes, values? Sex is truly an amazing gift for the human being.

We are designed to want, need, and desire; every other animal in nature is comfortable with their sexuality. If you are not comfortable, get some help. Try a few new things, be daring and see how you can enhance your experience. Regular orgasm improves moods, sleep, and positive life affirming hormones.

Please note I am also not advocating indiscriminate sex. {continued on page 11}

{Sex • from page 10}

Random sex is a path to STDs, which can shorten your life and reduce brain function.

“Researchers from the University of Pennsylvania reported that individuals who have sex at least once or twice a week show 30% higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A, which is known to boost the immune system. Other studies have show that frequent sexual activity is tied to lower risk of breast cancer in women and prostate cancer in men.” Making a Good Brain Great, Daniel Amen Women please take note: Breast cancer is the fifth most common cause of cancer death. In 2004, breast cancer caused 519,000 deaths worldwide. Isn’t it time to take the girls out for a pleasure trip? They are meant to be played with—massage those girls regularly! I recently I had the pleasure of an Abianga massage.

Abianga is a unique rhythmic massage, which deeply nourishes the entire body including your breasts with liberal amounts of warm herbal oil, allowing you to luxuriate in bliss.

Orgasms can also be a wonderful antidepressant. Orgasms cause intense increased activity in the limbic system, the deep emotional part of the brain.

Feeling a little blue?

Get naked, girl! Who needs a pill?

If that’s not enough to convince you, then how about this? Regular sex and orgasms will improve your moods, reduce your stress, boost your immune system, and increase the youth promoting hormone DHEA. Sex also increases your levels of testosterone and estrogen.

{

Regular sex and orgasms will improve your moods, reduce your stress, boost your immune system and increase the youth promoting hormone DHEA.

As far as happiness is concerned, orgasms and physical touch are some of the best proactive and preventative measures I know. It’s a win–win–win situation.

Need a little help getting aroused?

Smell some cinnamon or baby powder. Apparently there is a strong connection between our sense of smell and the erection centre of the brain called the septal nucleus, which sends signals to the lower regions— hint hint!

Say yes to sex and stay fabulous at fifty and beyond!

In the area of the psychology of happiness, no one is better respected than Elizabeth Manuel. Giving from her heart with over a decade of specialized experience in increasing happiness and self-esteem, author of two books and six CDs, Elizabeth is a successful speaker and coach and certainly a powerful and positive woman of influence.

Elizabeth Manuel • Email: metamind@shaw.ca • Cell: 780-445-9299 Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 11

Real Estate Investing: •

It’s

{

not

BY KIM BERGES

sexy

but it is solid!

It’s tangible, it’s solid, and it’s beautiful. It’s artistic from my standpoint, and I just love real estate.

Donald Trump

You may not like him but he does have a good point, real estate is tangible, it’s solid and it’s beautiful – if you know what you are doing!

My goal here is to inform, educate and enlighten you about real estate and real estate investing. Why buy it? What it can do for you? And the key strategies that you should know before you start. My first bit of advice is to spend the money on education because if you don’t have the education it is going to cost you! Either way you are going to pay, you might as well pay to know how to do it right!

Now that I have gotten that off my chest, let’s look at what it can do for you.

Why invest in real estate?

For hundreds of years investors have been buying it, flipping it, and holding it. When you examine the wealthiest people in the world, many of them, in fact all of them have owned 12 • Be Fabulous! I FALL 2010

Although what it can do for you is pretty darn sexy!

real estate. Many have made money in their businesses and transitioned into real estate. If you want to be wealthy, examine and do what the wealthy do. Let’s take a look at why you would want to make real estate part of your solid portfolio.

From an investment perspective, real estate is a necessary part of everyone’s life. People live in houses, apartments and they work in buildings. Land is developed to create subdivisions and cities. It is part of life and many people don’t even realize the incredible potential that it can create. In good times and in bad times people need a place to live.

It is a necessary part of our world.

Therefore it would make sense to buy an asset that is always in demand.

It appreciates, creates passive income and your tenants pay down your debt. (Knowing where to buy is critical and we will talk about this in another issue. There are key fundamentals and a stringent evaluation process that one needs to do, before you buy) I was fortunate to have met and worked for an amazing real estate agent when I was just 19 years old. I quickly realized that the buying and selling of real estate would make one {continued on page 13}

To join go to www.meetup. com/fabulousat50 {It’s Not Sexy • from page 12}

Robert Kiyosaki says it best;

wealthy, but also that owning and holding real estate would make one very wealthy. That was my first experience.

Retirement does not mean

I have meet many wealthy people, some of whom have a lot of money but not a lot of time and I have also met people with a lot of time and no money – rarely do you meet someone who has both. Real estate can give you both.

Real estate can give you the time freedom to do what you want, when you want to do it. It is one of the best tools available to create and sustain wealth in any economy.

ring unforeseen cataclys-

I’m looking forward to discussing practical strategies and goal setting in the coming issues!

day it doesn’t need you

Kim Berges Signing off for now!

not working. To my wife and me, it means that barmic changes, we can work or not work, and our wealth grows automatically, staying way ahead of inflation.

I guess it means freedom.

The assets are large enough to grow themselves. It’s like planting a tree. You water it for years and then one anymore. Its roots have dug down deep enough. Then, the tree provides shade for your enjoyment Robert Kiyosaki

My love for travel was developed as a child. As a Professional real estate investor, I immediately see the benefits to owning assets in a solid, emerging market, it simply just makes sense and there is something for everybody, from raw land, condo units to Canadian investments. Very exciting times!

Kim Berges • Email: kberges@iglide.net • Cell: 780-983-1419 Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 13

Photo by Dana Metcalfe

The Fabulous@50 Meetup group is moving into its 3rd year and has grown to 200 members of women aged 40-60. Events include seminars on dating, passion, de-cluttering, fashion, chit-chat evening and fun projects like photoshots and Christmas and garden parties, including the annual Fab@50 Experience.

BY JENNIFER PARKS

Photo by Dana Metcalfe

Feature Fabulous@50 Women:

On the contrary, the 52-year-old graphic designer and Fabulous@50 event planner is simply not a blender.

She celebrates all that’s out-of-thebox and unorthodox, and makes it her practice to march to the beat of her own drum.

Bowes’ sweet song is a lifetime in the making, and it sounds a bit like Dixie Chicks meets Frank Sinatra’s “I Did It My Way.” But it wasn’t always that way.

“I did not start to live my life until my 40s,” confesses Bowes, in her living room, while sipping an iced tea with floating berries. “I was just going through the motions, sleep-walking through life – until I was told I had a tumour on my vertebrae and my 15year marriage suddenly ended.”

The beauty of such a major mid-life crisis, says the mother of two, is that 14 • Be Fabulous! I FALL 2010

when big doors slam shut even bigger windows clatter open.

Bowes took a long, hard look at her life and decided that it needed a major make-over anyway.

“I had a lot of time on my back after surgery to do some thinking, and what I realized was that all along I’d thought I needed to live my life the way others wanted me to ... but they had just wanted me to be happy.”

Born in the late-’50s, Bowes feels she succumbed to the pressures of the baby-boomer generation, choosing the status quo rather than bucking convention and defining life on her own terms.

“Suddenly I had no job, no car, no money, no husband, and I was wearing an back brace 24-7, unable to do the basics. {continued on page 15}

{Dianna • from page 14}

I realized that even though my body was weak, I was still incredibly strong,” Bowes tells.

From that point, everything skyrocketed. Her new self-awareness helped her define a new course, that would also inadvertently inspire other women to get the most out of their lives.

Bowes retrained as a personal life coach and formed her company, Creative On The Move, combining her skills as a graphic designer, event planner and life coach. In the months and years to follow, she has connected with many other women, like herself, who were fabulous at 40, 50 or 60, and ready for significant changes to their status quo.

“What I see is a lot of women in their 50s who are kind of stuck. They’ve devoted their whole lives to family, children and jobs, and now they’ve raised kids and are maybe in the middle of a divorce... some are retired and bored silly. They feel like they’ve got a fresh start, if they want it, but they don’t know what to do,” says Bowes.

“If women – or anybody – doesn’t start doing the things they’ve dreamt about in their 50s, then they never will ... due to health issues or getting settled in.”

In a nutshell, she says, “If not now – when?”

So Bowes took a good idea and ran with it. For years, she’d been hosting an annual martini party in her home.

Last year, she ran the First Annual Fabulous at 50 Experience and Martini Party, a trade show to inspire, educate and empower women in midlife, complete with over 50 vendors and 800 visitors. It was a phenomenal success, and so, again, she ran with it.

“This year we have over 75 exhibitors and women can expect to learn about everything from sensuality, relationships, hair styles and menopause to investments, vacation properties, travel and personal development,” says Bowes, excitedly.

“I have always loved to bring women together. The most gratifying thing about my work is seeing that light turn on when they realize it is alright to follow their heart, ” Taking risks – and the road less traveled – may not always be easy, says Bowes, but you can expect the rewards to be abundant.

“You need to put yourself in a little discomfort to grow... I firmly believe this.” It was this belief that kept her motivated, in the months and years after her surgery, to stay healthy, active and focused.

“I believe in courage, adventure and accountability. At any age you can do these things ... you set your own limits.”

And for Bowes, the sky is, clearly, the limit.

Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 15

Fabulous at 50

Photo Album

Something for everyone...join us today www.fabulousat50.com

16 • Be Fabulous! I FALL 2010

Visit us at Booth 25 & 26

We will have one of our beautiful vehicles parked outside at The Fabulous@50 Experience & Martini Party.

Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 17

EAT CHOCOLATE & LOSE WEIGHT...

Not just any chocolate...

Who Do You Know Who Wants to Lose Weight...Permanently?

Obesity is at epidemic proportions and is costing billions of dollar in health care every year. Obesity can lead to diabetes and obesity causes or exacerbates many of the major diseases out there. Our fast food lifestyle is literally killing us!

What’s the key to losing weight and keeping it off permanently? A diet high in antioxidants is the key. The average North American eats about 800 antioxidants or “ORAC” per day. Xoçai’s new High Antioxidant XProtein Meal Shake which is a whopping 56,500 ORAC per meal. Replacing 1 or 2 meals per day with our new shake & following our weight loss system guideline, will give plenty of antioxidants to experience some significant weight loss &/or inches lost, especially around the abdomenal region. One XProtein Meal Shake is the equivalent antioxidants of 100 cups of spinach! Lose Weight and Improve Your Health!!

Why Chocolate? Numerous studies show chocolate can help boost weight loss for various reasons. In addition to its antioxidant superiority, it appears that chocolate: Optimizes production of brain chemicals, such as serotonin, decreases appetite, stabilizes blood sugar levels, improves mood, decreases inflammation, and protects against stress and anxiety.

Visit us at booth 40 & 41 for more information www.healthydarkchocolate.ca 18 • Be Fabulous! I FALL 2010

780•470-0749

Financial: Finesse •

BY DONNA WORTHINGTON

12 Steps to Women’s

Financial Emancipation #1 BECOME FINANCIALLY LITERATE. Learn and understand the terminology.

What is a stock, a bond, an RRSP, inflation, term life insurance, disability insurance, and critical illness insurance.

Do you know enough about cash flows, pensions, and our tax system?

What is a managed portfolio?

At some point in their lives, 9 out of 10 women are solely responsible for their finances. It would be preferable to read books written by professionals, who have the Certified Financial Planning designation!

Why do we need to understand these issues?

The average age of widowhood is 56. Women live an average of 5 years longer than men. Women have higher health care expenses than men.

Women change jobs more frequently than men.

Overall women earn less, wait longer for promotion, and have smaller wage increases. Over time, this translates into smaller pensions and RRSPs, lower CPP and less income at retirement.

#2 BE AWARE OF WOMEN’S ISSUES. For every year a woman stays home caring for a child, she must work 5 extra years to recover lost income, pension coverage and career promotion.

#3 INVEST IN REGISTERED RETIREMENT SAVINGS. Even modest savings levels make a big difference in retirement income.

By putting savings into a RRSP, you not only save fore retirement but receive an immediate tax savings.

The average Canadian woman spends 17 years taking care of children and 18 years caring for parents. This means 15% of her career is spent out of the paid workplace.

Over 58% of female baby boomers have less that $10,000 saved in some form of retirement savings. Remember, RRSPs grow tax free until they are withdrawn. {continued on page 20}

Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 19

{Financial • from page 19}

Use a balanced fund or a managed portfolio for long term growth and protection. #4 CONSIDER YOUR DEBT. There is good debt and bad debt.

Good debt is usually tax deductible.

For example, borrowing money to invest or buying a business or property is a good debt.

Bad debt is what we accumulate on credit cards at an unusually high interest rate.

A large debt isn’t terminal but the sooner you get it under control, the sooner you will feel more positive about the future.

It is important to consider individual insurance to pay all your debts in the event of your death. This individual insurance covers your mortgage, credit cards, cost of burial services, income replacement, and the cost of educating children.

Individual insurance, underwritten at the time the policy is issued, is a unilateral contract meaning only you can cancel it. An insurance policy lasting 20 years will likely cover your needs and is very reasonably priced. #5 EARN YOUR OWN CREDIT RATING. At some point in a woman’s life, she may need to borrow a large sum of money, perhaps for a car or a home.

It is good to have one credit card in good standing, a personal line of credit, or even a cell phone contract.

If you have many credit and store cards cancel them. Cutting them up does not cancel the potential credit debt.

If you plan to purchase a home and go to a mortgage lender and they see you can Amass up to $80,000 in credit card debt, that amount for a mortgage will be withheld.

For Steps 6 – 12 see our next issue.

Donna Worthington, is on the National Board of Directors as 1st Vice-Chair of the Canadian Institute of Financial Planners.

Donna Worthington, CFP EPC • Investment Planning Counsel To Contact: 780-702-1551

Holiday Season

Martini

Ingredients: • 3 oz. cranberry/raspberry cocktail • 1/2 oz. crème de cassis • 1 oz. vodka Mixing instructions: Place all ingredients in a shaker with ice. Shake and strain into a chilled martini glass.

Option: Garnish with a few raspberries or cranberries. Courtesy of Aligra Wine & Spirits

20 • Be Fabulous! I FALL 2010

Fabulous Partnering •

BY SUE PAULSON

From New Dates to Soul Mates

The Beauty of Singledom©

I’ve been ‘single again’ twice in my life - once at 27, after eight years of living with my starter spouse, and then again at 53. The second relationship was supposed to be my “till death do us part” marriage. It spanned 23 1/2 years and gifted us with our amazing son.

Although I grieved the loss of my first marriage, I bounced back fairly quickly because I was young, spunky and eager to learn, grow and blossom. Coming to terms with the end of my second marriage was brutal because of my guilt over leaving, my embarrassment about having failed at marriage twice, and my fear that at age 53, the best years of my life were gone.

That first year on my own was one of raw survival. Bone-searing grief, flashes of rage, and sheer terror fought with my determination to find happiness in my choice. Amazing, supportive friends and relatives generously gave whatever they could to help me rebuild.

Three months into this journey, one of my dearest friends was suddenly a widow. Even though the reasons for our singlehood were different, we became lifelines for one another as

we struggled through each phase.

Little things, such as weekends alone or cooking for one were challenging.

We joked that our favorite meal was leftovers. Imagine our delight when friends not only invited us for dinner, but sent us home with care packages!

{

As my anger and terror subsided, a new found compassion trickled in, along with a growing sense of gratitude for all I had.

Baby step followed baby step as I made progress with being born into my new life. Short bursts of peace filled me as I gazed at beautiful sunrises through my balcony door. As my anger and terror subsided, a newfound compassion trickled in, along with a growing sense of gratitude for all I had.

The beauty of singledom began to emerge once I began to see and celebrate the beauty of me. This was a journey that only I could take; while sometimes it felt like the dark night of the soul, I was very aware that new seeds only sprout in the dark. {continued on page 22}

Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 21

{Singledom • from page 21}

In seeking the seeds of my new self, I explored every aspect of me: the great, the good, the bad, the ugly, my dreams, my desires, my beliefs and my truths.

With no one else around to influence me, I paid more attention to my likes and dislikes, my natural rhythms in going through my day and the triggers that made laughter bubble to the surface. With only me to care for, I found empty timeslots and spaces - spaces that loneliness would fill if I didn’t choose to fill them differently. So I tried new things, visited new places, made new friends, and learned new skills.

Did I miss having a man in my lifesomeone to talk to or take me to the movies? You bet! But I wasn’t ready to go there yet except as a thought in my head. Somehow I knew that if

I was ever going to fall in love with a new life partner, I first needed to fall in love with myself and build my relationship with me. If your cup is empty, you have nothing to give; it was essential to fill my own empty cup to overflowing, so I would have more to give to any new relationship.

As women in our 40s, 50s, or 60s, we are blessed with opportunities to seek new meaning in our lives and to build or rebuild solid relationships with ourselves and ultimately with others. Sometimes these opportunities come in the form of tragedy, trauma or disaster. If you are struggling as I was struggling, take heart! The dawn of your new life will emerge as surely as the sun comes up. Draw upon your wisdom, surround yourself with support, and fall in love with the beauty of you. Then get ready to explore ‘ dating again’ in my next article!

Sue’s speaking career started as a personal growth facilitator. Through workshops, she taught meditation, self-awareness, strategies for building self-esteem and ways to build strong relationships with others.

Sue Paulsen • Email: suetalk@shaw.ca • Cell: 780-934-8444 www.maturedatingtips.com

22 • Be Fabulous! I FALL 2010

Wine, Women and Travel: • BY ALISON PHILLIPS

a Grape Way to Go! Ask any fifty-something woman what she would do if she won a lottery, retired from a job, or simply had more time, and inevitably, the answer would be: travel.

I qualify this statement by saying “woman” because if you ask a man the same question, he’s more likely to say: play more golf, do more fishing, or even do nothing.

Could this be the reason why women want to travel in the first place?

By the time we have reached our fifties, most of us have careers, raised families, and dealt with responsibilities and commitments that have shaped our lives. Many of us have taken business trips, driving holidays to visit Mom & Dad, vacations to Mexico or Hawaii or taken the kids to Disneyland.

But have you ever really travelled?

Travelling, in its true sense, can be the most exhilarating experience one can ever have. It’s not simply about where you are going, how long you will be there and what you will see and

do. Real travelling is about how you choose to navigate your way through the getting there, allowing yourself encounters with people you wouldn’t necessarily engage with, smells in the air, sounds in your ears, the physical and mental agility required to move beyond your usual comfort zone. It is the true feeling of being alive in all your senses.

I have always been a traveller at heart and in practice. Often though, before embarking on any journey, I am afraid. What if this happens? What if that doesn’t happen? My mind enacts scenarios that could so easily sabotage my confidence to leave the comfort and safety of home. But in reality, it is exactly these notions that awaken my true sense of why I want to travel in the first place. The feeling of being alive and experiencing the world with the freedom to express the physical and emotional senses I was born with.

Elizabeth Gilbert’s book “Eat, Pray, Love” is a wonderful insight into a woman’s one year journey of discovery about the world and herself. {continued on page 24}

Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 23

{Wine • from page 23}

To many people, this may seem rather dramatic. I’m not suggesting that every woman embark on an arduous journey alone to see what she’s made of. In fact, some of the best travels I’ve ever had have been in the company of other women.

Women travel well together. Generally speaking, when we get together, we always find something to talk about, we aren’t afraid to share our opinions with each other, we help one another if there’s a problem, we like to laugh, have some fun and adventure, experience something new, make friend s, share advice and wisdom. Enjoy good food and wine.

Wine and food themed- travel with girlfriends is special - for many reasons: Grapes grow between 30 and 50 degrees latitude around the world. So what? This means that destinations for wine tours are generally favourable for pleasant weather.

Learning about where and how the grapes grow that end up in the glass of wine you are drinking can be truly fascinating. The more you travel to wine destinations around the world, the more you appreciate the connection of what nature - sun, soil, slope, weather and what it has to do with the delicious juice in your glass - as

well as the way the local cuisine pairs with it . The people who are involved in grape growing and wine making have such passion and devotion for what they do, it rubs off on us too, and we take away a little of this magic when we leave. The history, architecture and landscapes unfolding in front of our eyes imprint unforgettable memories we can revisit our whole life.

Whether it be Tuscany (Italy), or Napa (California), Marlborough (New Zealand) or Stellenbosch (South Africa), or even our own beautiful back yard – The Okanagan Valley of British Columbia, a wine tour is a wonderful way to tune into your senses and enjoy quality time with yourself and other women. It can be as short as a weekend, or extensive as a couple of weeks, travelling by mini coach or by river cruise, the experience of being in a small group of mature, engaging women is an unforgettable experience and one you will want to repeat again.

We can’t all take a year off and discover our selves like Elizabeth Gilbert did in “Eat, Pray, Love”, but we can get away for shorter periods of time to refresh and restore our souls.

Alison Phillips

Alison is a world traveller, a recent graduate of the Level 2 International Sommelier Guild programme and co-owner of Aligra Wine & Spirits at West Edmonton Mall. If you and your girlfriends are interested in doing a wine tour with Alison, contact her at Alison@aligrawineandspirits.com” Alison Phillips • Phone: (780) 483-1083 www.aligrawineandspirits.com

24 • Be Fabulous! I FALL 2010

Life is Just a Phase: •

BY LAUREL VESPI

In the Now…or Never Everyone wants to change something. Whether it’s improving a relationship, getting into shape, or cleaning out the closets, most women have a series of goals on their to-do lists. Goals often reflect our dissatisfaction with choices we have made in the past. They are prompted by that “I can’t believe I let this go so long” feeling. Sometimes we’re pushed into change because we know in our hearts that we can do better. It’s possible to make better or different choices than the ones we’ve made before.

Sometimes we’re pulled into change by the idea of what is possible. We create in our mind’s eye, or on a vision board, a picture of a loving relationship, a fit and toned body or a beautifully organized home that we will have one day in the future.

Whether it’s a push from the past or a pull from the future, or a little of both, we go about setting goals and working toward them. And somewhere along the way, we get off track. Then we begin to silently beat ourselves up that we are never able to create the changes we want. We think we don’t have enough will power or perseverance.

Here’s the real problem: Change doesn’t happen in the past or the

future. Change happens in the now.

It’s the result of the cumulative effect of making small choices in the moment.

{

Change doesn’t happen in the past or in the future.

Change happens in the now. It’s a cumulative effect of making small choices in the moment.

Of course it’s great to have a vision of the change you want to create.

Being able to picture how things will look and feel different once you have successfully reached a goal can be a powerful motivator. So too can be the desire to raise the bar for yourself higher than you might have set it in the past. What’s more important though is being able to anchor yourself in the moment and make conscious choices that will ultimately lead you to the change that you want.

Here are some tips for being more present in the moment: Slow down. If you are constantly rushing from one thing to the next, it’s hard to be in the moment. {continued on page 26}

Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 25

{Now • from page 25}

If the thought of slowing your life down seems unattainable, then slow down for a few minutes. Schedule three 5 minute breaks during your day during which you simply stop and breathe.

Experience what it’s like to be in the moment. Pick an activity and give your full attention to it. Washing dishes or doing the laundry are both great opportunities to simply tune into your senses while you complete the task.

Let go of whatever other thoughts keep popping into your head and just focus completely on the task at hand.

Pause before you act. Many times we just react to a situation rather than consciously making a choice.

Practice pausing and stating your choice to yourself: “I’m choosing to ______ because I ________”.

For example: I’m choosing to speed because I am late for a meeting.” It may be enough for you to choose differently. Even when you don’t, you have brought your decision into your conscious thoughts. Keep your goal foremost in your mind by frequently asking throughout the day, “Will this choice bring me closer to my goal?”

If the answer is no, then ask yourself, “What choice in this moment will get me closer?”

Just remember, there’s a lot of wisdom in the phrase “now or never.”

It contains the key to successfully reaching your goals.

Laurel Vespi is a certified life coach, author and motivational speaker who helps women find more balance, fun and satisfaction no matter what phase of life they are in.

Page 1

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26 • Be Fabulous! I FALL 2010

10 6 3 0 - 17 0 S t r e e t , E d m o n t o n 7 8 0 - 4 8 8 - 0 2 4 0

FITNESS: •

BY JENNIFER PARKS

Trim down and buff up with

YO G A

Lots of us work-out to trim down and buff up our exteriors.

Yoga is a unique opportunity to build strength, tone, flexibility and balance and bring greater energy and ease to our often tight and neglected deskbound bodies.

So you buy a rubber mat and wicking yoga gear and dive into enthusiastic and committed practice. Your arms have never looked better and your double chin is even receding.

Then, quite miraculously, somewhere in between your 49th inhale and

trying, through pants, to will your heels to the floor in Downward Dog, you suddenly catch a rare glimpse of yourself – like, for a split second, someone has held up a small handmirror to your soul and you see a clear choice between path “A” – well-worn, comfortable but ineffective; or path “B” – infinitely scarier, to start, but a kinder, brighter road less travelled.

Just for today, you choose “B,” and a new, gentle energy flows into your Down Dog. As the grip of ego softens, you find yourself exhaling peacefully and smiling. {continued on page 28} Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 27

{Yoga • from page 27}

You leave class feeling lighter, and hum happily in traffic unbothered by the construction on the way home.

You even choose a fruit salad instead of your usually blueberry muffin and your teenagers, against all odds, notice the glow in your face hours later.

What is this yoga – that, in a few contortionist feats and deep breaths, can bring you unparalleled peace and calm, and with more practice still, can inspire new perspectives and healthier attitudes, and even lift you out of old, deeply grooved patterns of being?

Yoga is a self-awareness practice whose gifts are revealed to us not in lithe limbs and “perfect” postures.

No matter if your heels hit the floor – today, tomorrow, in this lifetime or the next! The poses, or asanas, give us a “seat” from which to view our experience, and ourselves, day after day.

As we grow familiar with the postures, our focus shifts. We may deepen and explore from this new vantage point.

Or stay in our comfort zone. Every pretzel pose, every practice is different. At any given moment, we have the opportunity to see where we’re at today, to open to truth and stillness, ride the waves of grace, or become

distracted or disgruntled and get ejected back into our samskaras, or past conditioning.

Before each inhale, and in the pause before the next exhale, we always choose the quality of our moment.

{

Yoga is an attuning practice that yokes together body, mind and breath.

Conscious breathing - and beinghave the power to transform our

28 • Be Fabulous! I FALL 2010

lives.

Yoga is an attuning practice that yokes together body, mind and breath. Conscious breathing – and being – have the power to transform our hearts and our lives.

This age-old practice that is so popular today, in fact, gives us a great work-in with our work-out! The sweat and tears of our daily work – on and off the mat – cooks us until we are well-done, as the Sufi poet Rumi writes, like well-boiled chick peas, seasoned and full of flavour. When we are this cooked, we have the strength and vitality to, then, say to Life: “Cook me some more!”

Jennifer Parks has a passion for sharing the gifts of yoga with others, and is a devoted teacher and humble lifelong student of yoga – a dynamic total wellness practice for optimal living.

Visit her website at www.jenniferparks.ca

hearts and our

Fabulous Events: • Grease, The Musical November 9 to November 14, 2010 Jubilee Auditorium, 11455 57th Ave., Edmonton, AB. Tickets: www.ticketmaster.ca

Friday, November 19, 2010 1 pm to 9 pm

Lobster Lovers Feast Friday, November 12, 2010 Cocktails and Bidding at 5:30 p.m.

Dinner at 7 p.m.

Location : Palace Banquet Hall, 3223 Parsons Road, Edmonton, AB.

Sunday, November 21, 2010 11am to 4 pm

The 12th annual Lobster Lovers Feast has businesses and community members come together in a fundraising event for the Boys & Girls Club of Edmonton. There will be a silent auction, raffles, draws, live entertainment, and a lobster dinner. Tickets: $150. Stephen Kufske at 780-917-6653, or 780-9195168, or email him at skufske@bgce.ca

Shop Till You Drop Sunday, November 28, 2010 10 a.m. - 5 p.m.

Think Healthy, Be Well: Managing Diabetes Today Saturday, November 13, 2010 8 a.m. - 3 p.m. Tickets: $25 www.afdr.ab.ca/diabetes-symposiumLocation : Mayfield Inn & Suites, 16615 109th Ave., Edmonton, AB.

Location : Trans Alta Arts Barn, 10330 84th Ave., Edmonton, AB.

5th Annual Homes for the Holidays Tour Tour Dates:

EVENTS

Saturday, November 20, 2010 11am to 6 pm

Tickets: $30 (780) 433-9739 or www.homesfortheholidays.com/ index.php

Shop Till You Drop Expo features a wide variety of fabulous Edmonton and area local businesses. Free Admission, accepting donations for the Edmonton Food Bank.

Festival of Trees December 2 - 5, 2010 Thursday, Friday & Saturday 9 a.m. - 9 p.m. Sunday 9 a.m. - 5 p.m.

Location : Shaw Conference Centre, 9797 Jasper Ave., Edmonton, AB. See www.fabulousat50.ca for more events

Become a Fabulous@50 friend and receive our monthly newsletter www.fabulousat50.com Join our Fabulous@50 meetup www.meetup.com/fabulousat50 Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 29

{Dianna • from page 5}

Yes, hindsight is undoubtedly 20/20… but how great would it be to utilize some of that knowledge right now??

I ask you to consider doing some mental housecleaning right now.

Are there pieces from your past that are weighing you down…slowing your step…causing you to color life’s events with your own predictable shades of gray?

How much is your past is negatively influencing your present? How much would you love to forever erase from your memory…if only you could?

Although there is no magic pill to accomplish this, awareness is a great first step. Seeking closure whenever possible is another positive move

30 • Be Fabulous! I FALL 2010

{

Yes, hindsight is undoubtedly 20/20... but how great would it be to utilize some of that knowledge right

now??

towards a new beginning. “Baggage” is described in the Encarta Dictionary as: ideas, beliefs or practices retained from somebody’s previous life experiences, especially insofar as they affect a new situation in which they may no longer be relevant or appropriate.

I say maybe it’s time to start anew… lighten the load…and leave the past in its rightful place: in the past.

Here’s to a brighter, lighter tomorrow!

FREE Presentation November 7th River Cree Hotel 1:00 pm - 5:00 pm RSVP:

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Visit us at Booth 68 & 69

We will have 7 draws for a gift of fragrance and soap made from Brassavola digbiana, the National flower of Honduras?

Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 31

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32 • Be Fabulous! I FALL 2010

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