Here is your Sneak Peak at the exciting new
Excited? Us too. And soon, we’ll be opening up subscriptions for a limited number of Cosmo Club members...and you’re first in line. The first 100 ladies will get a bonus gift of a beautiful Gratitude Journal designed by Dianna Bowes. So, what is the Fabulous@50 Cosmo Club, you ask? It is an exclusive club for fabulous, seasoned women who love to explore themselves and the world. Sounds yummy, doesn’t it? It is for the lady in small town Alberta or big city USA. So what does a Cosmo Club member receive... • A Boomerluxe box filled with exciting brand named and artisan products shipped to your home every 2 months • The Be Fabulous! Magazine - print and digital issues • Talks and online webinars with inspirational women hosted by founder Dianna Bowes • FREE Coaching from our nest of talented coaches. Pick one or all! • Special offers and discounts from businesses that love you and more to come... Great value and all for only $35.00 a month. Click here to sign up today and get it for only $30.00 a month (Only 100 spots) 2 • Be Fabulous! e_Magazine I www.fabulousat50.com I March • 2017
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Celebrating baby boomer women • Interactive eMagazine • 3
Creative Director • Dianna Bowes Editor, Creative Director Dianna Bowes FOR ADVERTISING INFORMATION ads@fabulousat50.com www.fabulousat50.com
our story
Thank you to our Contributors: Dianna Bowes, Barbara Lee, Laurel Vespi, Pam Robertson, Sue Paulson, Lisa Copeland, Rae-ann Wood-Schatz..and to all who made this issue possible Photography: Ealanta Photography www.IStock.com www.123rfs.com
Mission: To INSPIRE, EDUCATE and EMPOWER the baby boomer woman! Be Fabulous! was designed specifically to be an event magazine to be presented to our guests at the Annual Fabulous@50 Experience and Martini Party. But something magical happened! Dianna Bowes took a look around and realized there was nothing in our community that was discussing the needs of the seasoned woman. Be Fabulous!, much like the Fabulous@50 tradeshows, seminars, the meetup group and the Fabulous@50 on-line membership, filled a gap. Since 2010, Be Fabulous! has spotlighted inspirational women on it’s cover and covered topics that mid-age women want to read about. The vision of creative director, Dianna Bowes, was to publish a magazine that would be written by baby boomer women for baby boomer women. Fabulous@50 and Be Fabulous! is more than a magazine, more than a tradeshow, more than a membership, it is a community! Find out more by going to our website. www.fabulousat50.com
On the Cover: Rae ann Wood_Schatz Be Fabulous! is published by Creative On The Move.
Be The articles represent the views and opinions of the individual authors and not necessarily the publisher. No material should be reprinted in whole or in part without the expressed written permission of the publisher/authors. The contents of Be Fabulous! should not be used as advice of any kind. Please consult the appropriate professionals for any advice. Be Fabulous! does not constitute endorsements of, or assumption for, liability for any claims made in the advertisements and or advertising information.
be social with us!
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www.fabulousat50.com facebook.com/befabulousmagazine facebook.com/befabulousat50 twitter@Fabat50 pinterest/DiannaBowes
Fabulous at 50 Lifestyle with Dianna Bowes
Searching...
In 1999 I started my transformational work, I decided to shift my world and dove into an intensive personal development program called Personal Best Seminars (now- Creator’s Code). I had no idea walking into this program, how it would change my life, but I was ready. I could not bear the thoughts of repeating my past and knew I did not have the skills to change it. Participate
I did things I had never done before in this program, as I had never really participated in my own life, I was always everyone else’s cheerleader. I was the watcher, never the one who was doing anything. I had no self confidence or self esteem and because of this I accepted whatever crappy thing that came along, believing I had no choices. Well that certainly changed as I moved forward in my personal growth. There were those who were confused by my changes, and I was one of them. Who was I, and where had this person been all these years? I had played small for too many years.
I stretched like an elastic band in this program, and cracked open my belief system to reveal myself to myself and the world. I found so much power and meaning to my life, that i decided to work for Personal Best as a coach, and continued to grow and learn, until I decided to move on to work on my own project...Fabulous@50. To say I am grateful for this program would not even begin to express how I feel. Although I did curse them at times, because I could no longer look away and pretend I didn’t know. I was the girl who read every personal development book, but because I didn’t really understand the concept of unconscious beliefs, I rarely ever made any lasting changes. Belief System
My belief system was pretty set with the idea that I was not loved or wanted. I accepted that so my belief system did everything it could to make that right. I have forgotten how much I have learned, as some is so deeply rooted now that I can switch a negative to a positive in a
Celebrating baby boomer women • Interactive eMagazine • 5
few minutes, finding meaning and great gifts in the experiences others may see as doom and gloom. Some of my greatest lessons have bloomed from the worst that life has to offer, death, illness, divorce and loss.
to continue to be open, always learning about myself and being open to new ideas and to continue making a difference in the world I live in.
Over the last few years, I have felt some changes in myself. Some shifting, some confusion on my journey forward. Is it time to slow down, change my routines, retire? Yikes, I didn’t think that would happen to me.
What is the other choice, be closed off, bitter, opinionated, stubborn, full of resistance,...I could go on and on. You know the choice I will make.
Reaching out
I talked to all my trusted friends, the wise ones, the coaches, the insightful ones. I was searching for some answers. I don’t like to make rash decisions, and I certainly did not want to sabotage everything I had built. So how do I move forward? I have found over the years, that I get the best results when I relax, and let the answers come to me. Still working on that one. So we packed up and went on a 3 week vacation to Central America. We traveled, explored, played, relaxed and did no work at all. What???? Yes, I did answer emails. As I made my way home, a thought came to me. A question actually. Where do I want to be? Standing still, moving forward or sliding back to old beliefs and ways of behaving? That scared me. Had I slid back? The Sign
I had a big sign placed right in front of me and I almost missed it...almost, but I didn’t. Woohoo!!! I will keep the sign to myself to protect the innocent...;) I don’t think I need to move as fast forward as I had when I was younger and friskier, but there is wisdom in moving slower. I may not be growing as fast as I was when I started my journey, but I want
Bitter or Better?
I have accomplished more in these last 18 years, than the 40 before. Doing things I could not even imagine, like writing a book, organizing large events and the biggie, public speaking. Oh lord, I could hardly say my name in front of a small classroom of 30 people, when I started my journey. In Gratitude
I want to thank a few people who helped me transform into being the best version of Dianna. Rae Ann Schatz-Wood, Lynn Fiset, Laurel Vespi, John McEwan and some of you, who don’t even know that you have served me by helping me find the answers. It is not always in the positive situations that I find my answers, sometimes it is in the icky conflict and the uncomfortable situations. If you want to chat, I am happy to share my experiences, my wisdom and anything you else to help you. Dianna Bowes is the creative director of Fabulous@50 and editor of Be Fabulous! Dianna is also the author of The Fabulous@50 Re-Experience - Refresh your mind, body and spirit. Dianna Bowes is the creative director of Fabulous@50 and editor of Be Fabulous! Dianna is also the author of The Fabulous@50 Re-Experience - Refresh your mind, body and spirit.
Read more Fabulous@50 Lifestyle stories {Please share and comment}
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It’s never too late to refresh your
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mind, body and spirit and you don’t have to do it alone.
Many Baby Boomer women have spent decades suppressing their own wants and desires, and losing themselves in the expectations and demands of culture, parents, partners, and children, working hard to please and care for almost everyone but themselves. They’ve been misunderstood by marketers, politicians, millenials, most men, and last but not least, themselves.
illness, financial disaster, or the crushing loneliness after the kids have grown and gone, if you are asking yourself, “Now what?” and fearing that it might be too late for you and your dreams, this book is for you.
The time has come for these strong, beautiful, and fabulous women to discover, reveal, and honor their true selves. The time has come for them to re-experience life as they’ve known it, and to celebrate life as it can be.
From Dianna Bowes, visionary foundress of Fabulous@50, The Fabulous @50 Re-Experience is a living, breathing, sweet and sassy guide to remind you that you’re not alone, and it’s not to late for you to thrive.
If you are a Boomer woman in personal crisis--needing to reinvent your life, facing divorce, life-threatening
In these pages, you’ll find a wealth of reassurance, inspiration, companionship, and practical guidance to refresh your mind, body, and spirit.
ORDER A BOOK TODAY! Celebrating baby boomer women • Interactive eMagazine • 7
People Don’t Change So Stop Trying So Hard Anais Nin quoted “ I take pleasure in my transformations. I look quiet and consistent, but few know how many women there are in me.” People come to me with a desire to ‘change’. They are shocked when I say ‘time to let that go, people don’t change’. What I mean is, if you want to change what’s not working in your life, the ways you sabotage yourself, no matter what area of life, it doesn’t matter how many seminars you take, or books you read, or coaching sessions you have, there are going to be moments when you sabotage, when you run the default program. Expecting they won’t, sets you up for disappointment, self-deprecation and you
don’t need more of that! There is a reason you did those ‘things’, and despite the negative results you sometimes create, it’s in your context and coded, likely in your subconscious, and so manifests in your behavior. So don’t hope, instead lean into the possibility and the understanding of what it means to ‘transform’ those parts of self. Discover those parts, all the women in you, and when your angry self emerges, don’t expect to change her, understand her, check into what she needs, help her transform anger into positive action, or grab permission to speak up, or whatever
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is needed to create a new or better result. When your sad self arrives, don’t try and change her, listen to her, understand what is generating the sadness and then help her transform that sadness into a new perspective, or transform sad into grateful and open to learning what you need to learn so you attract fewer situations or people where you are likely going to feel sad. Take Stitch from the movie Lilo and Stitch. Stitch was a super angry alien who got kicked off his planet because he was unacceptable as he was. He arrives on Earth and realizes that he doesn’t fit in here either; he won’t be accepted as he is. He’s blue, has big ears and six arms! So he carefully assesses his situation and decides that to be safe (just like we do often), he resembles a dog, and so if he tucks two of his arms in and goes down on all fours
he could pass for a dog (he’s not changing who he is, he is transforming how he shows up in an effort to be safe). Then he meets Lilo, and her sweet way of being annoys him and when angry his ‘true’ self emerges; out pops the arms! Ultimately what Stitch discovers, through the love of Lilo, (after she realizes he really is not a dog and that he is super angry and loves him anyway), is that he is not going to change his core, and with love and support he can ‘transform’ that part of himself into a gentler, kinder, still angry and still alien and it’s okay. So love your inner alien, she is your teacher, help her transform and be amazing! Rae-ann Wood-Schatz BA, RHT is a transformational coach, seminar leader, hypnotherapist, and shamanic practitioner. You can email her at rae-ann@raeannwoodschatz.com or visit her at www.raeannwoodschatz.com
Create Your Legacy Fabulous@50 is expanding and we are looking for enthusiastic, energetic and well-connected women 40 plus to bring Fabulous@50 to their communities. This is an once-in-alifetime opportunity to run your own heart-centered business and create your legacy! Cllick here for more information INSPIRE • EDUCATE • EMPOWER Celebrating baby boomer women • Interactive eMagazine • 9
The Ladybird’s Kitchen by Pam Robertson
Making your morning
SWEET with Marmalade
Great juicy oranges in several varieties are vying for attention this time of year. Juicy Cara-Caras, spectacular Navels, tart and tangy Blood Oranges, sweet Clementines, and for the traditional marmalade makers, Sevilles.
4 cups finely grated peeled carrots (I grate them using the grater attachment in the food processor)
I never liked marmalade as a kid. The stuff my parents held dear was often filled with Seville oranges, which have a bitter taste that takes some getting used to. However, once I started playing with different types of oranges, the world shifted in a very good way.
1/3 Cup lemon juice
Pam’s Morning Marmalade Makes about 8 x 250ml jars. ½ tsp whole allspice 1 cinnamon stick broken into 2 or 3 pieces 5 oranges (different varieties, organic if you can get them) 1 tart apple, such as a Granny Smith, peeled, cored, and grated
1 ½ cups water 4 cups granulated sugar ¼ Cup Scotch Whisky or Brandy (optional but yummy) Liquid pectin (have a package of this on hand, just in case) 1. Tie allspice and cinnamon sticks into a square of cheesecloth, creating a spice bag. Set aside. 2. Wash oranges well in soapy water to remove any residue or preservative from the skin. Then use a vegetable peeler to remove the peel from each orange in a long strip. Cut peel into thin strips and set aside. 3. Using a sharp paring knife, remove
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white pith from the oranges and discard pith. Working over a large, deep stainless steel pot to catch juice, use a small, sharp knife to separate orange segments from membrane. Place segments in the saucepan and squeeze membrane to remove as much juice as possible, collecting juice in the pot. Discard membrane and seeds. 4. Add apple, carrots, water, reserved orange peel, and spice bag to saucepan. Bring to boil over medium-high heat, stirring occasionally. Reduce heat, cover and boil gently, stirring occasionally for about 15 minutes. Maintain a boil as you gradually stir in sugar and lemon juice. Boil hard, stirring frequently, until mixture reaches gel stage, about 30 minutes. Remove from heat and test gel stage. If it’s not setting because there is not enough natural pectin in the fruit, you can add a package of liquid pectin (follow package directions). Once gel stage has
been reached, stir in Scotch or Brandy, if desired. 5. Meanwhile, prepare canner, jars, and lids. 6. Ladle hot marmalade into hot 250 ml jars, leaving ¼ inch headspace. Remove air bubbles and adjust headspace if needed, by adding additional marmalade. Wipe rim. Centre lid on jar and add screw band to finger tip tightness. 7. Place jars in boiling water canner, and process for 10 minutes at sea level, 15 minutes in Alberta or if you are not going to “water process” your jars, allow jars to cool completed, and refrigerate. Dr. Pam Robertson cooks up a storm in The Ladybirds’ Kitchen (www.ladybirdskitchen. com) to help the people who’ve lost their zest for cooking to #EatInspired. She’s also a bestselling author, coach, and part-time badass. You can reach her at 1-780-232-0083 and eatinspired@ladybirdskitchen.com
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Tea with Sue Paulson
Trading Struggle for Ease The biggest and longest lasting fights I have ever had have been with me, myself, and I. Most of those fights had to do with trying to whip myself into a version of me that was based on someone else’s opinion of what I should be, do, or have. There was a long list of shoulds for me: be smarter, thinner, more successful, quieter, selfless; make more money, do everything for others – I won’t go on - maybe you have a similar list. Position of Lack
This whole quest to improve myself came from a position of lack – a feeling of not measuring up accompanied by an overwhelming desire for attention and approval. “If I could just….then they will like/ love/approve of me.” I saw myself as the ugly duckling who was trying so hard to be a better duck, when really I was a swan – I just couldn’t see it. I had made assumptions about who I was that weren’t true.
For example, because I did not inherit my mother’s tall and willowy figure (I take after the Wards who are short and sturdy), I always felt dumpy and fat in relation to her. I fretted as a teenager - remember panty girdles? I wore one even though I only weighed 115 lb. An eye opener arrived many years later in the form of an old photo of me at 17. I had to look twice because staring back at me was this slim young woman! My selfperception had been so skewed, I didn’t even see the real me. Work-wise, I always felt less than beside brothers who made big bucks in the oil patch. For years I denied my artistic talents and yearnings because I couldn’t see how to make money doing something I loved. It was a struggle to travel down a path that others disapproved of. Eventually I got tired of “shoulding” on myself (the other word is also appropriate!) and tucked the whips away.
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Facing death and embracing self love helped me surrender the battle with myself so I could move from my selfimposed misery to a more peaceful and joyful life. While I still question the length of time it’s taken to make peace with myself (years and years) I feel grateful that I’m coming to a lovely peace inside my own skin. As I do this, dormant creative juices are flowing in directions I never would have imagined experiencing in this lifetime. Magnificently alive and alert to new possibilities, I look forward to the next chapter of my life as it fills with love, ease, and grace. Sue Paulson inspires others to love their magnificence. Her third book, “Magnificent Misery – From Adversity to Ecstasy” is now available at Audrey’s and Ascendant Books in Edmonton or through Amazon. www. suepaulson.com
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Celebrating baby boomer women • Interactive eMagazine • 13
What’s behind Curtain #1? Here’s something cool about dating after 50. You have choices as to how you want a man to fit into your life that you didn’t have when you were younger. Back then, you looked for men to mate and have children with. Today as a single woman over 50, you can date just for fun and men can fit into your life as your friend, lover, boyfriend or even as your husband. Yet for many women, dating isn’t fun. It feels like the clock is ticking since you aren’t getting any younger and you worry whether or not men will like you as you age (they do!). This leads to quizzing men on dates trying to figure out if he’s the one before you’ve even finished a cup of coffee instead of enjoying the journey of attracting, meeting and getting to know a new man. I call this Dating to Mate. I’d like to suggest another way to experience dating that is far more fun and gives you more opportunities to enjoy your experiences
with men. It’s called Dating to Date. Here’s how it works. Imagine three curtains in front of you. Curtain #3 is the Relationship Curtain where the man and the relationship you want reside. Unfortunately, this is the place where most women start out on a meet and greet. Jumping right into the relationship curtain creates frustration because it’s hard to figure out whether or not someone is perfect for you in 15 minutes. A better place to start is in Curtain #1, the Exploration Curtain. This is where you go on dates with the intention of deciding how a man might fit into your life and into your future. You energy is relaxed and low key as you get to know someone new and interesting. (Just be sure to keep a notebook about each one so you don’t get them all mixed up) This is an empowering way to enjoy your over 50’s dating journey.
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Curtain #2 is the Exclusive Curtain. You’ve found someone you really like and the two of you decide to make your relationship exclusive. You hang out, have fun and enjoy each others company as you get to know each other. If the relationship isn’t working in Curtain #2, you go back to Curtain #1 and you start the process again of going on dates getting to know someone new and interesting. If it does work, you head to Curtain #3 where you’ll figure out the type of committed relationship you both want. Can you see how dating in Curtain #3, the Relationship Curtain on a 1st date is a set up for never finding the right man for you? So many of my clients have told me this way of dating has changed their lives and made dating far more fun and
easier for them and I know it can for you too. Give it a try and let me know how it works for you. Lisa Copeland is a leading internationally recognized love coach and dating expert for women in their 40’s, 50’s and 60’s. She inspires women who are struggling with dating to find true love in the second half of their life with a quality man.She is also the author of The Winning Dating Formula For Women Over 50 on Amazon and is a regular contributor to The Huffington Post and The Huffington Post Women. Her website, Findaqualityman.com was named One of the Top 5 Online Dating Service by The Examiner and One of the 10 Best Senior Dating Blogs by Dating Advice. com. Lisa has written a Free Report she’d like to share with you called “The 5 Little Known Secrets to Finding a Quality Man.” You can get your copy at www.findaqualityman.com
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Left: A fabulous@50 women knows to fill her own cup first. Right: A fabulous@50 women knows she has to let go of the past to move forward to a great future. Click here to order
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Celebrating baby boomer women • Interactive eMagazine • 15
Fabulous@50 Featured Member
Rae-ann posing with one of her recent classes for the Creator’s Code courses.
Rae-ann Wood-Schatz Transforming lives with love and wisdom What are you looking forward to doing/creating in this next half of your life?I have always dreamed about a retreat center in a tropical setting. A place where people can come and do their personal transformation work in a place of beauty. Where they can experience a space for healing mind, body and spirit. I used to sometimes think because I am in my 50’s I should table that dream, and instead I feel even more passionate as I feel like it’s a version of I am not just sharing that with others, I get to experience being in a retreat center every day as well. I don’t really have a plan for retirement so somehow my dream feels like the best of both, keep doing what I love, generating income, and doing it in a beautiful setting that most
people would love to retire to. How has hardship, tragedy, or trauma shaped who you are – what gifts have come of it?I have never been very good at primary relationships. My last relationship ended with a significant betrayal, and I began to question myself as to how is it I can support others in their journey to functionality, but I can’t seem to get it ‘right’ in my own life. And then I decided instead of feeling bad or ‘wrong’, I made the decision to write a book titled, After Intimate Betrayal-The Journey Back to Self Love. Based on my personal experience and years of working with people all over the world, I do believe the issue of intimate betrayal touches many people’s lives and trust that
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the book will support those that read it. It contains both my personal story and the stories of many others, and if it does support just one person, it will make my experience feel just that much more meaningful. I already see and feel the gifts of what I have been through, but also feel strongly the biggest gift will be the gift of helping others through a traumatic experience, and not just through, but feel richer for having had the experience. In what ways do you prefer to give back or pay it forward? Giving back is an important part of my life and is driven both by the results it generates as well how it makes me feel inside. When I was a student of psychology in University I wrote a paper where I proposed that altruism didn’t really exist. I purported that it’s not that people aren’t willing to give freely, but that it is never without some return, even if that return is just the good feeling we get from giving. Which means it’s not giving with no expectation of a return, and therefore not totally altruistic. I hold steadfast to that concept as much today as I did back in 1984 when I wrote that paper. Vision and Mission
An example from my life relates to a trip to Machu Picchu in October 2012. My journey through Peru elicited a number of powerful experiences, not the least of which was the feeling I got when I would see the dogs roaming the streets. Many had mange, were starving, and the one I remember the most explicitly was a dog who had a tumor so large on it’s stomach that it dragged on the ground and was removing parts of it’s flesh. I felt horrified, sad, and angry at how I witnessed the people of Peru and their treatment or lack of care for the dogs.
Rae-Ann and boyfriend Chris enjoy a beautiful day in Mexico.
Rae Ann’s Favorites
Color: Blue Flats or Stilettos: Both, the older I get the more I lean to flats Martini/Wine: Both, wine often with meals, Martini’s only when I mean it Sweet Treat: Caramels Vacation Destination: Mexico Book: The Spontaneous Healing of Belief-Gregg Braden Movie: What the Bleep Do We Know Charitable Cause: The Global Alliance for Animals and People
Celebrating baby boomer women • Interactive eMagazine • 17
Rae-ann at the 2016 Bloom event in Edmonton, Alberta Paws for a Cause
I came home with a vision and a mission, and as clear intention generally works, I created an opportunity to partner with a woman name Elena Garde, a Canadian Vet living in Chile who works tirelessly to support animals in South America. Together with a number of fellow animal lovers, Paws For A Cause was born. We have hosted many fundraisers’ to help support Elena and her group, The Global Alliance for Animals and People, to do their work in many towns and villages in South America. In fact, a couple of years ago I was able to travel to a village, Todos Santos in Guatemala and work directly with Elena and many others on a spay and neuter campaign, that included vaccinating over 600 animals for rabies. The experience was not glamorous, as I don’t have animal health training my job was to hold the animals while they were pre surgery checked and given their vaccines. Each day ended with me covered in animal feces and bitten by fleas, but the ‘feeling’ I had at the end of the project was
indescribable. So, I don’t consider myself altruistic, but do see myself as a pretty joyful giver. What is your vision of great leadership? I have always said leadership is not just about having a position where you lead; true leadership is about follow ship. We have many examples in history of people that we would call leaders, some that we may also refer to as tyrants, and some we refer to as heroes. What makes the difference? They are both ‘leaders’ based on the definition of a leader, but really at the end of the day they are fundamentally different. So my definition of ‘great’ leadership are people who inspire follow ship, people who inspire others to want to get behind whatever the leader is choosing to lead people in. People that spring to mind for me are Martin Luther King, Gandhi, Oprah Winfrey, and Jesus. If you were to share one thing that made a difference in your life, what would it be? I would say one thing that has made a fundamental difference in my life has been personal development.
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In 1995 I had hit a critical point in my life, my marriage was a mess, I was burning out at my career and I felt a stirring to make a big change, but felt lost and powerless to direct things in a new way. I was then introduced to The Creators Code (formerly Personal Best Seminars) and it was inside of that process not only did I discover a whole new level of self-awareness I found my true purpose in life. I left my marriage, ended my career working in family violence, and opened the door to being an entrepreneur and teaching the same courses that had changed my life. Since then, I have delivered the programs of the Creators Code to hundreds of people in Canada, the United States, Mexico and Australia. I navigate my life using the core concepts and do my best to inspire others in the same. What would you like to share with younger women about “being beautiful”? Beauty is an interesting concept. In Spanish there are many words that they use to describe something that is beautiful, some are more playful in their connotation, some are more related to the physical, the words are different if you are describing something that looks beautiful in the feminine context versus the masculine, and so I think it examples just how complex the words can be, but also how complex the experience of beauty can be. What I have learned about beauty
over the course of my life is similar to what I have learned about abundance. When we think about the meaning of the word abundance, we often think of wealth, but true abundance is experiencing life from the point of view there is more than enough. Beauty within
Enough of everything, love, money, food, literally everything. Beauty, often described from the point of view of beauty is in the eye of the beholder, for me means you can see beauty in everything if you are willing to look, including within. Somehow we have created an idea that what makes a person, more importantly a woman beautiful, is her physical being. Is she thin enough is her nose the right size, her hair a shiny, beautiful color, her eyes shaped in a way that draw attention, and whatever else we collectively deem physically beautiful. And the reality is, some of us have been blessed with those qualities deemed beautiful, but how many times have you seen someone show compassion and thought it was beautiful, or observed someone being vulnerable and deemed it beautiful, saw someone showing a kindness and labeled it beautiful. I believe beautiful by it’s very nature is anything that makes you and others ‘feel’ peace, joy and love. And that goes far beyond anything in the physical.
Celebrating baby boomer women • Interactive eMagazine • 19
Life is just a Phase by Laurel Vespi
Time for a change Time for a change...we all know that so it’s somewhat surprising that most of us have a bit of a wonky relationship with change when it happens. Why is it that we resist change so much?
Change is actually a natural process. Let water stay stagnant too long and nature takes over and things start to grow. Around here people say if you don’t like the weather, just wait five minutes and it will change. Day turns into night. Winter becomes spring. Kids grow up. Everything is in the process of “becoming” transforming into its next state by learning, adapting, evolving. Things change.
When change happens, we don’t like it. We’re afraid of what change means. Even when we are not happy, we’re afraid that a change might make us even unhappier.
So we put up with the way things are. Until of course a change is forced upon us. When things are pretty good we declare we don’t want anything to change – we like things “the way they are”. Maybe we’re just afraid that change means they will get worse. But what if change means they actually get even better? Often we try to deny that change happens. We pretend that we’re not getting older even though we are. We don’t give some relationships enough attention and then when they get stale, we ignore the changes that have happened. We wake up one day overweight or out of shape because our bodies have changed over time in response to the lack of care we have given them. Things change.
If we are honest most of the time what we really want is for other people to change.
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When things aren’t going well, we focus on what someone else needs to do to make it better. That kind of change feels great because it lets us off the hook from being responsible for what we actually need to do.
We LOVE
Imagine what would happen if you created a different relationship with change. Try this: Expect change to show up. Treat it as an ally rather than an enemy. Work with it. Acknowledge it. Sooner or later you have to deal with it anyway, so be more proactive about it. Start by changing how you and change get along. Laurel Vespi is a certified life coach, author and motivational speaker who helps women live more mindfully no matter what phase of life they are in. Learn more and get resources and inspiration for mindful living at stonecirclecoaching.com
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Imagine what would happen if you created a different relationship with change.
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Sacred Sex by Barbara Lee
Real Intimacy Nancy and Pat could not be more different. Nancy watches The O’Reilly Factor and Pat watches The Daily Show. Nancy works a 5:30 a.m. shift and is just getting off work when Pat starts her day. Nancy is a vegetarian and Pat is a carnivore. Nancy is not the tidiest person, while Pat puts everything in its place. Nancy is easily stressed, frantic and fiery while Pat is easygoing and carefree. You might think that this relationship is doomed to fail. However, Nancy and Pat have been together for almost 20 years now – and they rarely fight. In fact, they share a deeply intimate relationship with each other. Intimacy is an important word to define. Often we confuse intimacy with “closeness” or “sameness.” We begin to think that intimacy is about agreement.
It can be hard to “feel” intimate with someone we disagree with. In fact, we are different. A truly intimate relationship requires the ability to understand that we all see things differently, we all manage anxiety differently, and we all navigate relationships differently. Be who we are
Intimacy in a relationship means that we can be who we are and we can let the other person do the same. That means we can talk about the things that are important to us, take a stand on issues we care about, and state clearly what our boundaries are – what limits are acceptable to us and what we cannot tolerate in the relationship. It means we allow, and at our best invite, the other person to do the same. In an intimate relationship, we can stay connected to each other without
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needing to change, convince or fix the other person. The most intimate of our relationships will include conflict and struggle. When those struggles come, it is important to understand that we have a choice. We can determine that the differences are too great and that the kindest thing for everyone is to part ways. Alternatively, we can determine that we will deepen the relationship even further. Deepening your relationship comes through intentionality and practice. It means that when you want to look away from each other, you look more deeply into each other’s eyes. It means that when you want to hold your breath, you begin to breathe more deeply with each other. It means that when you want to shut down, you open up.
FAN FEEDBACK Question? What is one thing you would like to change about yourself? Jacqueline: would like to change up my “Random Conversation Skills” and create more opportunities. Denise: have been working on this all year! I think I would like my self critic to take a powder. Working on it. It will change.
If you are interested in deepening your relationship, you will spend less time trying to figure out your partner out and more time working to understand yourself more deeply.
Elizabeth: My lack of confidence, & my perception of what people think.
Barbara Lee is an ordained interfaith minister and the author of Sacred Sex: Replacing the Marriage Ethic with a Sexual Ethic. More information is at www.DontDoesntWork.com.
Paula: Truthfully nothing. Change tends to be a fixing something that is broken kind of experience that leads to more of the same. I’d like to allow myself to be more free! That requires me to notice the voice in my head that shuts down self expression with wrong information-let it go-love with an open heart anyway!
BE WHO WE ARE Intimacy in a relationship means that we can be who we are and we can let the other person do the same.
Lois: Self-doubt in my ability to succeed
Loretta: My hairstyle, to a fresh new look. Susan: I try to not take it personally when people don’t support me in my business- working on it! Deborah: My discipline!
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Edmonton, AB Dianna Bowes Edmonton Director & Founder Email Dianna Go to our website CELEBRATE The Fabulous@50 Experience and Martini Party in Edmonton won the award for “Best Edmonton Tradeshowin 2016” on Thursday at the Financial Arts Barns. Fabulous@50 Founder Dianna Bowes celebrates the win with friend Wayne Lee. Wayne Lee picked up the award for CAPS for “Best Edmonton Conference”.
UPCOMING EVENTS Connecting Hearts Wednesday, March 15, 6:30 pm Want to meet other Fabulous@50 members and learn what Fabulous@50 is all about? Whether you are a seasoned member or a new member, this event will be worth attending. Expect to have some fun and leave with your heart full. Tea and snacks will be available. Register now...limited space Unleash your Creativity Workshop- date TBA
www.fabulousat50.com
Read my blogs EXPERIENCE IT! The Fabulous@50 Experience Martini Party November 4th River Cree Casino “Winner of Edmonton’s Best Tradeshow” We wll be opening up our show to new vendors as of April 1st. Please go to www. fabulousat50.com for more information.
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Calgary, AB
The Femme d’Esprit was a fabulous evening with delicious chocolate and amazing women. Lola from Olola Fruitiere and her delightfully La Framboise Company and Calgary Community Director, Joanne Neweduk. Click here
UPCOMING EVENTS Living Joy Book Launch and Health Conference Saturday, April 8, 2017 Join us for an empowering day of connecting with author and health coach Heather Driedger and her wellness experts who contributed to the book. Come be inspired, energized and empowered! This interactive day will nourish your body, mind and spirit. For more information, click here. . Monthly meetup meeting held every second Thursday, join us and have fun! Click here for info
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Joanne Neweduk Calgary Director Email Joanne Go to our website Read my blogs
Moncton, NB UPCOMING EVENTS
Crazy Daisies Fun Fashion Show - April 22 - Havelock Memorial Hall, Havelock, NB This will be a great fun event to start out with. Everyone is encouraged to wear the ugliest dress or outfit you can find, we will have judges for the ugliest and an awesome prize for winner. Dinner will be a fabulous turkey dinner between 4-5, with special guest Charline Savoie who will be singing during this time. Fashion show will follow the dinner with clothing from Nygard Fashions and also Ripped Angel clothing. There will be a Silent auction with door prizes. $30.00 PER PERSON AND $25.00 FOR VIP MEMBERS. To get your tickets, click here.
Celebrating International Women’s day with amazing women at the “Be Bold in Business Networking Workshop”.
Juanita Wilson Moncton Director Email Juanita Go to our website
www.fabulousat50.com
Read my blogs
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Cool Facts about Western Canada Fashion Week 1. 25 seasons, over 40 designers per season 2. Providing opportunities for over 400 diversified models per season 3. Providing platform for hair academies to showcase new graduates and opportunities over 30 hair salons to work with models, build portfolios and client base. 4. Each season we work with young performers from dancers to singers to build confidence and perform on our stage as well we have supported the talents of inner city kids by getting them involved in competition and showing their work in our foyer
nomic programs and immigrant woman to come and be inspired by the creativity and in many cases follow through with placements in industry 7. Focus on diversity and supporting our multicultural communities in Canada not only by providing spaces for models of all races but for supporting the fusion designer and their culture. 8. Support of young designers by way of emerging designers competitions - Past winners have been Sid Neigum, Malorie Urbanovich, Nicole Campre of Work Hall and many more that have gone on to have fashion careers.
5. Supporting charities from YESS to a new non profit paralysis recovery centre organised by Benveet Gill
9. Supported our volunteer by providing work experience in fashion and assisting placements in the industry.
6. We provide over 100 charitable seats for inner city schools, high school home eco-
For more info on this event. click on this link www.wfca.ca
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Does your company serve women who are 40 and over? How are you reaching them?
SHARE YOUR STORY! Be an inspiration to other women by sharing your story of success and build strong relationships.
Read about inspirational women like Petra Remy. Click here
INSPIRE Tell women everywhere how you became successful, and inspire them to follow their dreams.
EDUCATE Share your knowledge and expertise to educate women to take their next step.
EMPOWER Through your story, empower women to become change agents in their own lives and others.
Cheryl Anne is the creator of the Beautiful Women Project - The Art to Loving Life. Click here to read about Cheryl Anne.
Be Fabulous! E-Magazine: is a monthly on-line magazine aimed at the baby boomer woman. This monthly issue will be sent to the growing Fabulous@50 on-line community. Featuring inspirational woman (this could be you) we will also have articles that will interest women in the 40 plus age range. Be Fabulous! is a part of what makes Fabulous@50 so vibrant. EMAIL US TODAY FOR THE MEDIA KIT AND MORE INFORMATION ...info@fabulousat50.com
We are more than a magazine. We are a community!
Loretta Friedrich shares her love of nutritious food with us. Click here to read about her.
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FAB Books!
A Century of Secrets by Teresa A Syms
Is it possible to survive a life-time of violence and neglect? Yes, it is, because I lived that life from birth. When I was a little child and in pain or afraid; I couldn’t run to my parents for protection and love? They were incapable of love. You see, my parents were the problem and together with my sibling, were the main source of my tormented life. Who could I go to for help? I began to wonder who in this world would protect me. The answer I found was, no one! To order your copy go to www.teresasyms.com
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