2 • Be Fabulous! I JAN • FEB • 2011
What’‘s
INSIDE?
5 SWEET TALK Starting 2011 with a clean slate. 6 Looking Fabulous at 50 Style do’s and don’ts. 8 HAPPINESS Are you parenting your parents? 10 REAL ESTATE INVESTING What’s your long term plan? 12 FINANCIAL FINESSE Steps #6 - 12 to women’s financial emancipation. 14
FEATURED FABULOUS@50 WOMEN Edmonton native Cathy Bernier talks about her adventure of living and working in Honduras.
18 LIFE IS A PHASE Fresh starts need a little heart. 19 FABULOUS PARTNERING Are we fools to date again? 21 BE BEAUTIFUL... BE YOU! Forget resolutions, remember yourself! 23 EMOTIONAL EATING Focus on the event, not the food. 24 THE POWER OF YOGA Tips to tap your true nature in 2011. 26 YOUR HEALTH What the baby boomer generation should know about. 31 EVENTS/RESOURCES
Sponsored by
EDMONTON www. fabulousat50.com Editor: Dianna Bowes Cover Photography: John McEwan Designer: Creative On The Move
www.creativeonthemove.com
Editorial Contributors: Dianna Bowes, Shirley Borrelli, Elizabeth Manuel, Kim Berges, Jennifer Park, Donna Worthington, Christie Mawer, Sue Paulson, Diane Carbo Are you interested in becoming an expert for Fabulous at 50: E: info@fabulousat50.com P: 780-470-0749 For advertising rates: Christy Cooke E: sales@fabulousat50.com P: 780-756-8106 Fabulous at 50 is published 6 times a year. Want a copy: www.fabulousat50.com/magazine The articles represent the views and opinions of the individual authors and not necessarily the publisher. No material should be reprinted in whole or in part without the expressed written permission of the publisher/ authors. The contents of FABULOUS AT 50 should not be used as advice of any kind. Please consult the appropriate professionals for any advise. FABULOUS AT 50 does not constitute endorsements of, or assumption for, liability for any claims made in the advertisements and or advertising information.
Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 3
4 • Be Fabulous! I JAN • FEB • 2011
Sweet Talk •
Editorial By DIANNA BOWES
Starting
2011 with a
clean slate
We’re all aware of the mindset that occurs the last week of December. A full 12-months of events, holidays, appointments and reminders are about to be replaced with a clean, brand-spankingnew, un-cluttered calendar year that’s ripe with possibilities. Maybe this will be the year you’ll finally shed those extra pounds, maybe you’ll finally remember everyone’s birthday (within a month of the actual day)…maybe you’ll even go for a tropical-themed calendar this year, instead of that old crotchety lady and her snarky dog. Hey…your calendar…your choice. Has it ever occurred to you that the “clean slate” end of the year notion could be put into play at any time? Who says we need a calendar to tell us when it’s time to start fresh? The trick is all in the attitude…for in order for something to end, something else has to begin. Have you been considering a change? Or is one looming on the horizon… one that you’d rather not deal with any sooner than you have to? Can you pinpoint what’s holding you back? I’m still wondering, “What are you waiting for? If not now…when?” Change is scary…it is also inevitable. Even when you think nothing’s happened…trust me, something did!
Each time we flip that calendar from April to May, there are usually already half a dozen notations there from the month before: meetings already planned, doctor’s appointments already scheduled. This new month of May already has some familiarity to it from the start…not so much when it comes to a whole new year. And so, to take away some of the trepidation that goes along with that uncommonly unfilled month after yet-unscheduled month, we’ve created the concept of the Welcoming New Year…that shiny opportunity when all our dreams have the renewed potential to come true. So, how about a new twist on an old idea? How about taking a day from this month (the close your eyes and point method has always worked well for me) and make that your New Year. Better yet, how about allowing several throughout the next 12 months? Where is it written that there can only be one?? Having more than opportunity for a fresh beginning will not only increase the odds of meeting your goal exactly as you’d imagined it but will ensure that there’s always another prospect right around the corner…bright…shiny… just waiting for you to say, “Happy New Year…Again!”
I am a mother with two grown children and a life full of experiences that I could write a couple books about and maybe will one day. I am passionate about connecting and empowering women to living their lives to the fullest. I am a graphic designer and have always wanted to create a publication filled with positive and uplifting information. Enjoy! Dianna Bowes • dianna@fabulousat50.com • www.fabulousat50.com Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 5
Looking Fabulous at 50•
BY SHIRLEY BORRELLI
Fabulous women over the age of 40 have “been there-done that”! Your style needs to reflect this time of your life when you don’t want to look like your daughter, and with all due respect, not your mother either. You don’t want to look like a “cougar” nor matronly like your elders.
Style
So what do you wear then? Your style has to do with more than just your clothes. It encompasses knowing yourself; your authenticity; and representing on the outside who you really are on the inside. Your style includes it all: clothes, hair, makeup, accessories, the way you walk, even how you communicate: your voice and the words you use. Your style is something that is unique to you; something that is consistent and congruent with who you are. It is the “something” people come to expect from you time and time again. This doesn’t mean you always need to look the same, but rather, is a level of dress and overall appearance that they come to expect from you. Build your style from the inside out. Search out what resonates with you; what inspires and empowers you. Bring clarity into your world. Show your personality on the outside. Be proud of the roads you’ve travelled and the fabulous woman you’ve become. Celebrate who you are. Enjoy the tips below to distinguish you from your daughter or your mother and showcase your age-appropriate style!
says Tim Gunn, Project Runway. “Instead, call attention to the upper portion of your body.” To keep your style ageappropriate, do not wear head to toe trends. Wear one trend with your classic wardrobe essentials for a modern yet sophisticated and ageappropriate look. Buy the best quality you can afford for your accessories. Buy brand name purses, shoes and coats. Updating your style with trendy footwear and handbag is age appropriate. Do expose more shoulder and décolletage rather than cleavage. Cleavage, which can be appropriate, is often misunderstood for “cougarville” or asking for too much attention. Try portrait collars and other more open necklines. Opening up your neckline will give you a taller, leaner and more swan-like image. Turtlenecks with blazers have been out for 10 years already. Although turtlenecks are functional, they are really not flattering and quite ho-hum. Instead, wear a collared shirt in a fabulous colour that makes your eyes pop or an embellished t-shirt under your blazers for a more modern look. Leave torn denim, bedazzled pockets, bleaching and bling on your daughter’s jeans. {continued on page 7}
Do’s and Dont’s
Age appropriate Do’s and Don’ts
“Do not wear trends below your waist” 6 • Be Fabulous! I JAN • FEB • 2011
{Do’s and Don’ts • from page 6}
Keep your wardrobe must-haves in sophisticated styles. Wear only one denim piece at a time. A denim suit might leave you looking more cowboy than modern. Update your clothing proportions; for example, wear a longer top over slim pants. If you prefer cocktail length skirts, pare them with a T-shirt and cropped cardigan or blazer for a better proportion. Leopard and animal prints are classic. Update by pairing them with paler neutrals like blush or sunbleached peach. Beware: one animal print per outfit is plenty. Update sentimental jewellery with current accessories. This is one item you could buy at your daughter’s store. No matchy matchy anything, especially earrings and necklaces. Matching your accessories is dated. Pick one accessory that is bigger and bolder for a more modern style. Wear current eyewear. This is definitely one accessory that needs to be youthful and modern. Old-style eyewear is the fastest way to date yourself.
Trade hose for opaque tights or go hoseless. Pedicure a must! Showing a reinforced toe through your sandals or peep toe pumps is absolutely a no-no! Invest in regular manicures. No baby pink lipstick or really pale frosted lip colour. Way too young for you. Repeat your natural lip colour or go 1 or 2 shades deeper for a more sophisticated modern age-appropriate look.
{
Your style is something that is unique to you; something that is consistent and congruent with who you are. It is the “something” people come to expect from you time and time again.
Shirley is a regular contributor to the media. She has appeared on Global TV, Access TV and was recently interviewed to comment on Prime Minister Harper’s image. Shirley is a member of the Association of Image Consultants International, AICI. Shirley graduated from the University of Alberta with a Bachelor Degree in Education and a major in Business. Shirley Borrelli, B.Ed • Looking Your Best Inc. • 780-451-0661 Email: info@shirleyborrelli.com • www.ShirleyBorrelli.com Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 7
HAPPINESS •
BY ELIZABETH MANUEL
Are you parenting your parents?
Role reversal? It snuck up on me in my late thirties. I realized I was no longer going to my parents for guidance, advice, or help. Instead I was called upon to assist them with decisions, home and personal care. This role reversal caught me unprepared emotionally; I was not ready to assume the role of caregiver. Now in my midforties, as the parent of an active teenager and the caregiver of a widowed 84-year-old mom with mild memory problems, plus a widowed 94-year-old next-door neighbour with no children, I had to come up with some strategies to maintain my own happiness, and lead a
8 • Be Fabulous! I JAN • FEB • 2011
full and active life without guilt, pressure, or stress. Many of the women I met in similar situations are run ragged and still feel they are not doing enough. It’s true we cannot be superheroes but we can make choices and decisions that support our highest and best good. I like to suggest the following scenario: You live in a village with a central water well. Every one comes to the well to collect water for survival. The well runs out of water and everyone suffers. OR you could prime the pump, add water to the well to keep it flowing, and allow everyone to prosper.
{continued on page 9}
{Role Reversal • from page 8}
{
You are just like this well. You must keep nourishing yourself and keep your life energy flowing; it is essential for your sanity and the wellbeing of those who depend on you. As a happiness expert, I value scientifically proven strategies that will support our mental, physical, and emotional health. I learned that no matter what, if you don’t take care of yourself first, you will be even more stressed and less able to help your children or your parents. Here are three great ways to help cope with the stress of caregiving: Lose the Guilt
Guilt is probably the most debilitating emotion we have. Guilt literally sucks the life out of us. Guilt ties in with “I’m not enough.” Guilt takes away pleasure and leaves a nasty taste in our mouths. I’ve found Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and Neural Linguistic Programming (NLP) to be excellent tools to alleviate feelings of guilt. Both of these techniques are amazingly helpful to clear out old programming that gets stuck in our brains. Find a practitioner in your city today. Meditate
Meditation is a guaranteed way to reduce stress, feel calmer, and more able to cope. Meditation is a panacea. Based on years of empirical work, it lowers anxiety and depression and helps us have more empathy for others. Plus those practicing meditation have
You must keep nourishing yourself and keep your life energy flowing; it is essential for your sanity and the well-being of those who depend on you.
a stronger immune response, so meditation keeps you healthy as you handle your life load. I take anywhere from 15 minutes to one hour of meditation every morning to start my day. I notice a huge difference: I am calmer, more centred, and open minded. I feel irritated or tense if I miss this part of my day. Move your Body
The rewards of exercise helps you feel more in control of your body and your health. It also offers a positive distraction from worries and a time out from stress. Exercise produces high levels of energy and vigour, with a positive spill over hours later. I guarantee that regular physical movement will make you happier and more able to cope. I swear by it. If I even consider that I don’t have time to exercise because I need to give my neighbour a bath or grocery shop for my mom, I remind myself that I will have more vim and vigour to accomplish tasks after my workout (even if it is a 20 minute walk). These three practices have literally saved my life and preserved my happiness. Remember, you are worth it! Value yourself and others will value you. Here’s to staying fabulous at fifty!
In the area of the psychology of happiness, no one is better respected than Elizabeth Manuel. Giving from her heart with over a decade of specialized experience in increasing happiness and self-esteem, author of two books and six CDs, Elizabeth is a successful speaker and coach and certainly a powerful and positive woman of influence. Elizabeth Manuel • Email: metamind@shaw.ca • Cell: 780-445-9299 Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 9
Real Estate Investing: •
BY KIM BERGES
What’s your long term plan? (Or do you even have one?)
Many investors have come to me and they have asked me if I would mentor them. They are just getting started and they have a lot of questions. One of the first questions that I ask them is “What is your plan? What do you want real estate to do for you? Nine out of ten times, I get a blank stare or they respond with another question – “What do you mean?” I’m not sure where I learned this but I have always thought about what I wanted the end result to be and worked backwards. To me, that just seems logical. Where do I want to end up and then what are the steps I need to take to get there? There are usually some adjustments along the way but that is part of the process and the learning curve. Where you want to end up is critical because it then determines your plan. Stephen Covey has said, “If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster” so make sure your ladder is leaning against the right wall. Covey has also said, “We may be very busy, we may be very efficient, but we will also be truly effective only when we begin with the end in mind.” Starting with the end in mind also allows you to be more effective with your time, as you are not chasing down the wrong path or climbing the
wrong ladder, so your decisions are clear (will this take me to where I want to go?) allowing you to achieve your goals that much faster. Many new investors tell me they have no capital (Ca$h) to get started. You don’t have to have money to make money. (I know what you are thinking but I am proof that you don’t!) Money is really just an idea anyway. So if you want to invest in real estate don’t let not having money stop you. There are several ways that you can make capital in real estate to get started. (Don’t worry if you are unfamiliar with the below strategies. I will be covering strategies in greater detail in an up and coming article) • Assignments • Wholesale/flips with simultaneous close • Joint Ventures with others with money • Sandwich Lease Options From there you can use the capital that you have made to design your long term plan. I personally like multi-unit properties (commercial lending, better leverage of both my time and my money) I have had to move from single family (which in my opinion is a good place to get your feet wet) to multi-units, taking the capital (Ca$h) out of the single family properties and investing it into the multi-units.
My love for travel was developed as a child. As a Professional real estate investor, I immediately see the benefits to owning assets in a solid, emerging market, it simply just makes sense and there is something for everybody, from raw land, condo units to Canadian investments. Very exciting times! Kim Berges • Email: kberges@iglide.net • Cell: 780-983-1419
10 • Be Fabulous! I JAN • FEB • 2011
{continued on page 25}
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D’Lish’s Comfort 500g Capatelli Pasta 1.5 oz Chevre Noir 1.5 oz Mozzarella 1 Garlic Clove 1 TBSP Butter 1 Shallot ½ Litre cream ½ tsp truffle oil ( bought at the Italian Centre ) salt & pepper ¼ cup white wine ___________________________________________ 1. Boil a pot of water 2. Once boiled, add 1 TBSP salt & Capatelli Pasta 3. Drain and Set aside when pasta is cooked 4. In another pot, add minced garlic, chopped shallot and 1 TBSP butter. Sautee until shallots are transparent. 5. Add white wine and cream 6. Reduce cream by half 7. Add grated chevre noir & mozza 8. Season with salt & pepper to acquired taste 9. Toss in Capatelli & serve w. Hot vegetables on the side
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Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 11
Financial: Finesse •
BY DONNA WORTHINGTON
12 Steps to Women’s Financial Emancipation
...
continued
#6 LEARN ABOUT THE STOCK MARKET. Remember to buy low and sell high. Many people do the opposite and wonder why they never get ahead. A better suggestion is to use a managed money portfolio that rebalances automatically. In other words, the portfolio managers do the buying and selling for you. Take advantage of “dollar cost averaging.” Decide on a reasonable monthly sum to invest and do it automatically from your bank account. When the market is down, you are buying more shares, and when it is up, you are buying less. Most importantly, you are always buying!
#7 WHEN CHOOSING AN EMPLOYER LOOK AT MORE THAN SALARY. Many employers show their employees how much they are valued through their group benefit plan. Does your employer have a pension plan or match an RRSP contribution? Do they have short and long term disability, health benefits, and other incentives for you to stay? In other words, does your employer want to invest in you?
#8 DEPEND ONLY ON YOURSELF. Many women plan to marry and think it’s their husband’s responsibility to take care of the finances. This might work for awhile! The average age of widowhood is 56 years. 12 • Be Fabulous! I JAN • FEB • 2011
Remember, at some point in their lives, 9 out of 10 women will be solely responsible for their finances. Your financial plan can still include your spouse or partner; however, you need to know just as much about it and take an active role.
#9 PREPARE FOR THE UNEXPECTED. Women live an average of 7 years longer than men. Women have higher health care expenses than men. If you are diagnosed with a critical illness such as cancer, or have a heart attack or stroke, you do not want to lose your house, savings, or other assets.
“Critical Illness Insurance” is a rather new product in Canada. If a doctor diagnoses you with a life threatening disease or another qualifying condition, the contract pays you a lump sum. All policies differ in coverage, premium amount and conditions covered.
#10 SEEK PROFESSIONAL ADVICE FROM A CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER PROFESSIONAL. The Financial Planners Standards Council of Canada was established to set the standards and to be the certifying body for professional financial planners in Canada. The CFP designation granted by the FPSC is the mark of a competent ethical professional. There are many designations in the financial services area but only this designation ensures Canadians have access to the high level of financial planning services they have the right to expect. {continued on page 13}
{Financial • from page 12}
Would you think of going to a dentist, lawyer, doctor, or an accountant without the proper credentials? When it comes to your financial planning and life goals, settle for nothing less than an advisor with the “CFP” designation.
#11 BE CHARITABLE. Start out small, even $20 a month can make a difference. When we give to a worthy cause it makes us feel good. The government encourages charitable gifting by giving us a tax credit.
Consult with your family about which charities they would like to support.
#12 THE BIGGEST RISK IS DOING NOTHING When planning a vacation, you decide on a date, transportation, accommodation, activities, and the amount of spending money needed. It is even more important to spend the time and effort to have a life plan and the finances to fund it. The time to start seeking professional guidance is now!
Donna Worthington, is on the National Board of Directors as 1st Vice-Chair of the Canadian Institute of Financial Planners. Donna Worthington, CFP EPC • Investment Planning Counsel
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11805 – 94 St., Edmonton Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 13
Feature Fabulous@50 Women:
BY JENNIFER PARKS
Life is a journey Edmonton native living and working in Honduras People say life is about the journey, not the destination. Edmonton native Cathy Bernier agrees whole-heartedly – but now that she lives and works in the ocean-front vacation hot-spot of Honduras, she’s convinced that life is also about the ports-of-call along the way. Her philosophy: you must heed the call, arrive, dock and answer to manifest destiny – for the doors to open. Bernier is creating her own fortune as the overseas Director of Customer Relations for the Alberta-based company Fast Track Group. These days, her journey is one filled with hand-picked Honduran fruit and the musical lilt of spoken Spanish, as she plays host to foreigners who’ve recently purchased retirement, vacation and investment properties in the sunny Central American republic. 14 • Be Fabulous! I JAN • FEB • 2011
“I never thought of myself as a risktaker, as a gutsy girl; but here I am, working in another country, speaking a language I didn’t know just two years ago,” muses Bernier, 51, on the patio of a Sherwood Park cafe. She’s home for the summer to relax and spend time with her three daughters before returning to Trujillo, Honduras. “Three years ago, all of my daughters were in University. This opportunity came up and I chatted with them.
{
{continued on page 15}
I never thought of myself as a risk-taker, as a gutsy girl; but here I am, working in another country, speaking a language I didn’t know just two years ago
Left: Cathy with her three daughters. Middle: Cathy with a special friend. Right: Cathy at work.
{Cathy • from page 14}
They thought it was a great opportunity and told me to give it a shot,” says Bernier, who’s imparting her business savvy to her girls. While mom’s away in Honduras, her daughters live together in the family home, covering utilities, working parttime in the summer to pay for tuition and books and putting their money away in tax-free investments so they can graduate from school debt-free. “They’re not living the real life yet,” admits Bernier, but her intention is to give them a kick-start on their future and get them on the path to financial freedom. “Nothing’s guaranteed in life, but you’re not going to make a whole lot in your RRSPs and Mutuals. It’s a volatile market these days, but land and commodities, like gold and silver, never go away, whereas anything on paper can disappear if the stock market crashes,” says Bernier. The goal is not to be rich in material wealth, but to live a life of abundance, Bernier clarifies. “One thing I’ve learned in Honduras is that there’s a difference between needs and wants. In this society we want too much. I believe that most people are caught in a trap of chasing things to make them happy, but by the time they’ve purchased those things they’re not enjoying it.
“Every time I come home I start purging. I don’t want things; I want to free up time and money so I can do what makes me passionate and happy.” An enriched and abundant life, for Bernier, includes helping others. One of the volunteer projects she recently worked on was helping to build homes for Habitat for Humanity in Honduras. “I want to give back to the country that opened its arms to me,” says Bernier. “And what you give, comes back to you tenfold. Doors open and you should walk through. My life is leading me somewhere, I just don’t know where yet.” But that is the sweet part of the journey, after all – the sunny destination stop-overs and varied adventures along the way. One thing’s for sure, says Bernier, she is loving life’s travels. Home or away, she walks through doors, and stays open to possibility – even if it means taking a risk. “The universe has a way of unfolding exactly as it’s meant to,” adds Bernier. And she intends to unfold with it. Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 15
16 • Be Fabulous! I JAN • FEB • 2011
Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 17
Life is Just a Phase: •
BY LAUREL VESPI
Fresh starts need a little heart January is always a time when people think of new beginnings. There’s something about a brand new calendar that makes everything seem possible. Isn’t it curious then that so many people let their fresh start stall within a few short weeks. If I had a nickel for every person who set out to achieve a goal and abandoned it along the way I’d be a very wealth woman. Getting started or sticking with a plan for change often seems like such a challenge. Typically people jump into an action plan without having spent enough time thinking about “why am I doing this?” Because “I should” or someone else thinks “you should” are rarely good enough reasons to propel you toward your goal. Or doing it for some vague reason like “better health” or “my family” often won’t sustain you through the inevitable tough patches you will encounter. And superficial reasons like “looking super hot at my high school reunion” might get you so far but they likely won’t help you maintain your goal once the reunion has come and gone. There are lots of factors that ultimately allow you to achieve the results you want. In my experience there are two that are particularly important. One key to success is to find a meaningful motive – one that resonates with you at a heart level. You have to have a reason for doing something and when it comes to change, especially big change, you want that reason to be closely linked to the things that
are most important to you. Doing that will help you get through any roadblocks with greater ease. Sometimes it takes a little work to plug into your meaningful motive. You have to look past the first couple of superficial layers to get to what really matters. What does your heart want? Do you want to get in shape to be able to participate fully in your children’s lives? Do you want to get your life back in balance to have more and richer time with your partner? Do you want to de-clutter your house so you have a sacred space to honor yourself? Taking time for personal reflection helps to connect to your meaningful motive. You’ll know you are getting close when you get a little lump in your throat or are a bit teary eyed. That’s a good sign that you’ve plugged into your heart. Motivation from this place is powerful. The other key to success is to reconnect daily with your meaningful motive. Create a vivid picture in your mind or design a vision board so you can see clearly why this change is meaningful – why you are willing to stick with it until you’re successful. Then as you implement your action plan, revisit that motive daily. In the midst of things, it’s easy to lose sight of why you are doing something. Plugging back in each day helps you keep both your goal and your motive top of mind. You can have your heart’s desire. Just let your heart help guide the way.
Laurel Vespi is a certified life coach, author and motivational speaker who helps women find more balance, fun and satisfaction no matter what phase of life they are in. Laurel Vespi • Learn more at www.stonecirclecoaching.com
18 • Be Fabulous! I JAN • FEB • 2011
Fabulous Partnering •
BY SUE PAULSON
Where Angels Fear to Tread
Are We Fools to Date Again©
After three years of singledom, I was busy, happy, and had begun to feel at peace with my new place in the universe. Even so, at odd moments I found myself craving that male energy and all that went with it. Was I crazy to dream of finding someone who would share my new life dare I say a “soul mate”? But if I wanted more than the dream, that would mean I’d have to date again. Like most people in my situation, I hadn’t had a date in over 27 years. The dating horror stories I was told had me wondering if a page-turner book would be a better companion on a Saturday night. As to who I might date, well, sexy seniors didn‘t fit the bill, nor did I see myself as the stereotypic ‘cougar’ in search of 30 something men for torrid flings (except, of course, in private fantasies - sigh!). Someone close to my age seemed more appealing. The trouble was that many of the men my age didn’t have much going for them anymore. They weren’t yet retired, but they’d lost their spark. It’s an odd twist of fate that so many women find renewed energy after 50, while many men seem to lose interest in life and slow right down. Hmmm. When I did imagine myself on a date, I was filled with doubts about my attractiveness. Who would want me at the age of 56? Although I felt vibrant and youthful inside, would men find me desirable even though society seemed bent on stamping me with the dreaded “middle age” label?
Despite my quandary, I was encouraged to try dating again after hearing success stories from friends who had sought and found new loves and were supremely happy.
{
It is an odd twist of fate that so many women find renewed energy after 50, while many men seem to lose interest in life and slow down.
I began my dating journey in the comfort of my apartment with my bedroom mirror as my imaginary date. There I faced the naked truth - too little exercise and too much Hagen Daas had expanded my youthful curves - middle-aged spread was taking over My inner critic delighted in listing off a long list of physical deficiencies. Maybe a ‘blind’ date was my only hope! Discouraged as I was at that mirror image, I knew it was fixable. There’s a great book by Neale Donald Walsch called, “When Everything Changes - Change Everything”. I was determined to do just that. Let me emphasize that what I did next was simply the best starting place for me. Don’t think that you have to do what I did in order to date successfully. Examine your options, and then do what feels right for you. My treadmill became my new best friend. {continued on page 20} Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 19
Photo by Dana Metcalfe
{Singledom • from page 19}
As spring approached, I alternated treadmill time with outdoor walks and rounds of golf. Carrots replaced cookies as my bedtime snack. Gradually I noticed changes. Not only did my stamina and energy increase, but my shape transformed from flabby to foxy - whoo-hoo! I felt a definite urge to strut my stuff. My reward for that new body image was a trip to the nearest lingerie shop for a little silk and satin. As my mother used to say, “When you look good, you feel good. When you feel good, you do good.” I sure did feel good, so I was more hopeful than I’d been in a long time. I confess now that part of the reason for starting with my body image was to avoid the steps outside my door that led to the dating world. Early on, a couple of friends coaxed me out to different singles events. Grateful though I was for their efforts,
I discovered I just wasn’t ready. I felt awkward and out of place. Some people just dive in, ready or not. I took a bit more time to build my confidence. Again, there’s no right or wrong way here - the key is to take the kind of action that feels right to you. The ‘how to connect’ and ‘where to find’ aspects of the dating scene have changed in 30 years – the opportunity to meet singles is both easier and harder. Deciding which path to pursue can be tricky - that’s what we’ll talk about in my next column. In the meantime, I encourage you to risk being the fool - decide to date again. Why not start by re-discovering the fun-loving, irrepressible, sexy you that will be irresistible to lonely, male hearts. You might be surprised by the amount of attention you’ll attract!
Sue’s speaking career started as a personal growth facilitator. Through workshops, she taught meditation, self-awareness, strategies for building self-esteem and ways to build strong relationships with others. Sue Paulson • Cell: 780-934-8444 Email: suetalk@shaw.ca • www.encounterskills.com
20 • Be Fabulous! I JAN • FEB • 2011
Be Beautififul...Be You •
BY CHRISTIE MAWER
Forget Resolutions,
Remember Yourself...
It’s 2011. Does anyone else remember the big “scare” around the new millennium? It seems like a million years ago. In the intervening years, what has happened in your life? How many goals, resolutions and plans have you made? How many of them did you actually follow through on? How many times have you said, for example, “I’m going to lose 10/20/30 pounds this year”? And how often has the amount grown with each year? We are very good at making goals and not doing much with them. There’s an old adage that says we overestimate what we can do in a day and underestimate what we can do in a year. So why does it seem that at the end of every year we feel like we’ve accomplished so little? There are so many reasons for this that we hear about year after year. It could be setting bad or ineffective goals so we’re instructed on how to do SMART goals and other such formulas. We’re told to visualize every aspect of our goals so we can see, touch, taste and feel it in great detail. We’re told to think positive and act as if we already have what we want. I think for we women it boils down to something very simple for most of us. We’re so busy making every one else happy and helping them to create their goals that we completely forget our own. Many women, when asked what their goals are, will say things along the lines of ”have a healthy family”, “for my
kids to do whatever they dream”, “that my husband’s business is successful”. When asked what they want for themselves, they hesitate. We are so wrapped up in making those around us happy and successful that we forget that we’re allowed the same things! Remember the days so long ago when you had big dreams?
{
You deserve to enjoy
your life! When you take care of yourself and give back to yourself, you actually have more to give others because your cup is full and overflowing.
Remember when you were sure you were going to be an artist or write a book or make a CD or travel the world or invent a new product or live in a romantic city or… any number of things. Whatever happened to those things? Basically every day life and having others to look after got in the way. This is the year to get back in touch with you. It starts with little things. Find a way every day to treat yourself. Use your senses to keep you grounded and present in your life and give yourself moments of joy. {continued on page 22} Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 21
{Resolutions • from page 21}
• Savor a high quality chocolate • Inhale and linger over the fragrance of a scented candle or fresh bread • Notice the flow of water on your skin in the bath or shower • Listen to, and sing along with, your favorite song • Take a moment to take in a piece of art There are so many ways to take a moment to enjoy your surroundings. Those little moments are the start to remembering what you love. Remind yourself every day of your value by giving yourself these little gifts. Now, kick it up a notch. Sit down and take 15 minutes to make a list of 50 selfish goals. Yes, I mean it, selfish goals things that you want just for you. It may be hard at first as we are so good at
putting others first. Persevere and let it flow. Don’t censor or worry if you’ve already written down something similar, just keep going. Once you’ve made your list, you get to decide what you’d like to do on it. Find ways to make it fun. Find ways to use your senses to really be present in the experience. This is YOUR year. Forget the shoulds, the wish I wouldas and the I don’t have the times. You deserve to enjoy your life! When you take care of yourself and give back to yourself, you actually have more to give others because your cup is full and overflowing. Be a little selfish this year. You’re already good at putting others first, now take a few moments a day to put yourself first. You deserve it!
Christie is passionate about women loving themselves first and having more fun and fulfillment so they can live by the motto “Be Beautiful, Be YOU” in every part of their lives. For more information on Christie and The Bad Kitty classes and other services, go to www.TheBadKitty.com
22 • Be Fabulous! I JAN • FEB • 2011
EMOTIONAL EATING •
BY BETH CASTLE
Focus on the event,
not the food “Social events are apart of all of our lives. Coffee with a friend, lunch with a co-worker, a family birthday, a Statutory holiday, and so much more! Our weeks can be filled with social events that always include food & drink. The New Year is just a reminder of our over indulgence with this topic as we attempt to put on those favorite jeans that have shrunk in the dryer again... you get my drift! The New Year is a motivating time to do something with regards to exercise and good nutrition to get off those extra pounds, but the social events do not go away - EVER. Here are some tips to help at any time of the year! Don’t wait until Monday, if you know what I mean!” Social events Here are some more strategies that can help you focus on the event and not the food: • Plan your day when you know you will be going out later. Balance your meals and snacks earlier in the day. • Otherwise you will be so hungry that you will over-do it when you get to the event. • Compensate for an occasion that you know will be centered on food: plan
extra exercise and balance out your daily food intake. • Ask what will be served so you know how to plan ahead of time. • Plan to eat in moderation and adjust your portions accordingly. Choose foods that are healthy. • If you must have a sweet dessert, select one that is your least favorite so you do not eat as much of it. • Ask your host or hostess if you may bring a dish to the event—make it something that you can fit into your eating plan. • Do you have a support person with you? Tell that support person ahead of time about any food or eating challenges you expect to encounter. Talk about the support you need. • Show up to the event later to avoid the appetizers. Eat before you go. • Pre-portion your plate with foods that fit your plan and only eat what is on your plate to avoid picking. • Focus on the non-food topics and on the other guests. • Keep a healthy drink in your hand at all times; make it a full or half-full glass to ensure no one asks if you need a drink.
“Using Beth Castle’s decades of professional experience as a Dietary Technician and as a counselor, you can learn to lessen the struggle and the pain associated with your relationship with food. Beth Castle - 25 years experience Dietary Technician/Author and Speaker “Stop Emotional Eating, Fix Food Cravings, Find Your Metabolism and More” www.bethcastle.com • Lessen the Pain Today. Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 23
THE POWER OF YOGA: •
BY JENNIFER PARKS
SECRET
TO SUCCESS LIES WITHIN
{Tips to tap your true nature in 2011} We live in a culture that celebrates striving, self-improvement and success – and for good reason. These are three very worthy pursuits, as sustained effort to achieve one’s goals helps to cultivate passion, discipline and devotion to one’s work, making life more meaningful. STRIVE AND THRIVE
Working hard – beyond simply bringing home the bacon – builds character, confidence and perseverance in the face of fear or uncertainty. It is something tangible we can hold on to; and by nature, we are attracted to others who strive and thrive – who show up and translate their intentions into action – for, if they can pull their dreams through the wormhole of their imaginations and into reality, then why can’t we? DARE TO DREAM
Have you ever noticed that when you surround yourself with positive people, anything becomes possible? And, likewise, when you choose company that drags you down into negativity, your energy 24 • Be Fabulous! I JAN • FEB • 2011
wanes, and the light of our collective potential flickers and fades? We dream much bigger when we feed our inner dream-weaver or muse, and when we nurture our relationships with others who also dare to dream. INSPIRE YOURSELF
The key to striving and thriving is inspiration – whether you get it from art, music, movies, quiet moments in nature, hitting the pavement or the yoga mat doesn’t matter. As the word’s Latin root suggests – inspirare: meaning “to blow into or upon; to breath,” a source of spirit or creative power – without inspiration, our life force is literally diminished; we remain a shallow breath, a shadow of our selves – a flicker, but no flame. LIVE HIGH
Perhaps you don’t see yourself as a high achiever, a corporate climber or a blueribbon winner. Forget the accolades. True success is not measured in money, status, material assets or feathers in your cap. {continued on page 25}
{Yoga • from page 24}
And whether you bag groceries for a living, or make million-dollar executive decisions, is moot. It’s how you do what you do that matters. It’s the spirit you choose to move to, that moves you, from one moment to the next – that is making or breaking your happiness. Choose to live high. BE YOURSELF
If you desire change, exhale deeply and begin. Start right now, in this very moment. Inhale, and breathe the life you want into being. There’s only one way to do it – one breath at a time. The goal is not to be different or somehow better – richer, thinner, sexier, more powerful, more beautiful. The goal is to fully become all that you already are. Embrace your true nature – right now!
EXERCISE: Take some time to sit quietly with yourself today. Look within, and watch your breath as it flows into your body, bringing in rich oxygen to feed your cells. Then watch your breath as it flows out, removing air that is no longer useful. Are you living the life you want to live? If not, what do you need to let go of so that you can welcome the changes you want into your life? BREATHE
Breathe in all that will serve and support you on this path. Breath out all the rest; you don’t need it. It’s dead weight. Remember: each full expiration makes way for the next great inspiration. And don’t worry about things in your past. There’s a reason they didn’t make it into your future.
Jennifer Parks has a passion for sharing the gifts of yoga with others, and is a devoted teacher and humble lifelong student of yoga – a dynamic total wellness practice for optimal living. Visit her at www.jenniferparks.ca {Long-Term Plan • from page 10}
This has taken some time to accomplish but it was part of my long term plan. I also invest in mid to lower income properties because when things get tight (and they are tight) people don’t up grade they move down, so my properties will always be full. I have the best buildings in mid to lower end neighborhoods. A few strategies for a long term hold situation are single family dwellings, multi-unit properties, and commercial buildings. Condo conversions and Land development are a few other strategies
in real estate that can create enormous profits, but you had better know what you are doing before you begin. You can make enormous profits but if the project goes sideways you stand to lose a lot of capital as well. My goal with real estate was to create the time and financial freedom to travel and spend time with my family (that was where I wanted my ladder to take me) Real estate still requires my attention – I just have great management in place and I manage my managers. What do you want real estate to do for you? Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 25
YOUR HEALTH: •
BY DIANE CAROL
What the Baby Boomer Generation Should Know About
Dementia
Memory Loss
and Alzheimer’s
As the baby boomer generation retires, many are concerned about dementia, Alzheimer’s and memory loss. Modern technology and scientific advancements in health care are helping individuals live longer and healthier lives than any previous generation. The statistics of past generations indicate that 10 percent of individuals over the age of 65 years of age develop memory problems. By the age of 85 years of age, the percentage of memory problems increases to 50 percent. Baby boomers are a generation that expects to grow old gracefully, physically and mentally. They expect to remain youthful and full of vitality as they age. Boomers do not want to know or experience the ill effects of aging, such as mental decline. This has been a driving force resulting in the research and studies done on the cognitive (thought) processes of the brain. Although there is still much research to be done, there are some very promising findings being reported. Science now confirms that memory loss is not a normal part of aging. Proper nutrition, physical exercise and challenging the brain frequently are linked to brain fitness. The causes of memory loss can occur gradually over time. 26 • Be Fabulous! I JAN • FEB • 2011
The symptoms are not the average forgetfulness we all experience. As a society that is inundated with audio and visual stimulation everyday forgetfulness is a result of multitasking and stimulation over load. It is important to be aware of the signs and symptoms of early memory loss, as intervention can prevent or delay the process. Some causes of loss of memory for the aging population can be due to alcohol abuse, use of illicit drugs, smoking and poor nutrition. There are many health related medical conditions and prescription medications that can have a negative effect on the aging brain. Many of these conditions and the effects they have on the memory can be treated with early intervention. The aging baby boomer generation can be proactive in preventing memory loss from occurring. Studies show that physical activity such as aerobic exercise helps brain fitness. A study, done on a group of individuals over the age of 55 years old, used brain imaging on individuals that were active versus a sedentary group of the same age. Over a period of 6 months the physically active group exercised 3 hours a week. {continued on page 27}
{Dementia • from page 26}
Both groups had brain imaging studies done prior to the start of the study. At the end of 6 months, the results were astonishing. Several areas of the brain showed an increase in the brain volume of the physically active participants. The increase in brain volume occurred in the areas of the brain responsible for memory and thought process. Scientists are not sure why this increase in brain volume occurred, but it is thought that an increase in blood supply and connections between the neurons of the brain. Research scientists now feel that an active life style can prevent or delay dementias and Alzheimer’s. Baby boomers are a generation of ground breakers. They have pushed themselves to the limit and have tried new and different things. This is an important trait to continue to possess as they move into their retirement years. The brain can continue to form new connections between the neurons. This improves the ability to communicate, store and retrieve memory. Being open to experiencing some new and different often is a key to maintaining a good memory and brain fitness. If you do crossword puzzles or Sudoku and become proficient at that task, you are no longer challenging your brain to continue to form new connections. Take a proactive approach and get out of your comfort zone. Your memory and mind will be glad that you did.Traveling, meeting new people, dancing and even learning to use the computer are ways to keep the brain
{
Baby boomers are a genera-
tion that expects to grow old gracefully, physically and mentally. They expect to remain youthful and full of vitality as they age.
growing and firing up those neurons! Consider a brain fitness program. A brain fitness program should test your abilities in a variety of different categories and identify your strengths and weaknesses. A good program will then build an individualized program based on your initial results. It will assist you to build your weak areas and continue to maintain or improve upon your strengths. A brain fitness program should also be able to give you feed back on a regular basis as to where you have improved and what changes your have made. Research shows that developing new connections occur and the brain can be revitalized by participating in a brain fitness program just 20 minutes three times a week. The baby boomer generation should know that dementia; Alzheimer’s and causes of memory loss can be prevented or delayed by taking a proactive approach to their health. Physical activity, trying something new and challenging can not only be fun but help your brain remember the good times you have!
Diane Carbo, Registered Nurse has more than thirty five years in the nursing field. Her experience as a geriatric care manager, makes her uniquely qualified to help those who want to live out their lives in their own homes. Diane Carbo • www.aginghomehealthcare.com Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 27
28 • Be Fabulous! I JAN • FEB • 2011
EAT CHOCOLATE & LOSE WEIGHT... Not just any chocolate...
Who Do You Know Who Wants to Lose Weight...Permanently? Obesity is at epidemic proportions and is costing billions of dollar in health care every year. Obesity can lead to diabetes and obesity causes or exacerbates many of the major diseases out there. Our fast food lifestyle is literally killing us! What’s the key to losing weight and keeping it off permanently? A diet high in antioxidants is the key. The average North American eats about 800 antioxidants or “ORAC” per day. Xoçai’s new High Antioxidant XProtein Meal Shake which is a whopping 56,500 ORAC per meal. Replacing 1 or 2 meals per day with our new shake & following our weight loss system guideline, will give plenty of antioxidants to experience some significant weight loss &/or inches lost, especially around the abdomenal region. One XProtein Meal Shake is the equivalent antioxidants of 100 cups of spinach! Lose Weight and Improve Your Health!!
Why Chocolate? Numerous studies show chocolate can help boost weight loss for various reasons. In addition to its antioxidant superiority, it appears that chocolate: Optimizes production of brain chemicals, such as serotonin, decreases appetite, stabilizes blood sugar levels, improves mood, decreases inflammation, and protects against stress and anxiety. www.healthydarkchocolate.ca
780•470-0749 Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 29
Fabulous
The 2010 celebration was attended by over 1,000 women (and a few men)... 500 gift bags were given, 100’s of martinis were served, 25 beautiful volunteers showed up, 82 vendors displayed their goods and services. But they best part was the smiles on all the faces. Cheers!
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. . . t o H It was
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Photos taken by Nicole Ashley Photography. www.nicoleashley.ca To see more photos or to register for the 2011 show, go to www.fabulousat50.com 30 • Be Fabulous! I JAN • FEB • 2011
Fabulous Events: • Resources Hey Ladies! Jan. 14, 2011, 8 p.m.
Roxy Theatre, Edmonton Tickets: www.tixonthesquare.ca The Ladies return for their fourth season of fun! Featuring extraordinary guests, stupendous prizes, hilarious Match Game, questionable crafts and recipes for disaster. These shows sell out, so get your tickets soon!
Bridal Fantasy Sun, January 23, 2011, 9:30 a.m. The Edmonton Expo Centre
Tickets: www.bridalfantasy.com The bridal show everyone is talking about, Bridal Fantasy has wowed brides since 1980. Bridal Fantasy, the premiere Edmonton wedding fair, is back and better than ever. Get the all the information you will need in preparing for your big day and your new life ahead.
Justin HInes Fri, February 25, 2011, 7:30 p.m. Arden Theatre, St. Albert
Tickets: www.ardentheatre.com Despite being born with Larsen’s Syndrome, a rare genetic disorder that keeps him wheelchair bound, Hines embodies a charmingly optimistic message of love, hope and happiness. His voice, sweet and unique, is like words of comfort; his melodies float over you like a warm, gentle breeze.
Great Big Sea Sat, January, 22, 2011. 7:30 pm Northern Alberta Jubilee Auditorium
Alberta Blue Cross (780) 498-8000 Alberta Mental Health Board 1-866-408-5465 Alcoholics Anonymous (780) 424-5900 Alzheimer Society of Edmonton (780) 488-2266 Breast Centre Lendrum (780) 434-9179 Breast Friends Society of Edmonton • info@breastfriendsedmonton.org Canadian Cancer Society (780) 455-7181 Canadian Celiac Association (780) 485-2949 Canadian Cystic Fibrosis Fdn 1-800-378-2233 Canadian Diabetes Association 1-800 -226-8464 Canadian Liver Foundation (780) 444-1547 Canadian Mental Health (613) 745-7750 Canadian National Institute for the Blind (780) 488-4871 Canadian Paraplegic Association Tel: (780) 424-6312 Capital Health Link - 780-403-5465 Capital Health Community Sector General 780-735-3000 Travel (780) 735-0100 Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation of Alberta 1-800-387-1479 Edmonton Family Violence Centre (780) 439-4635 Gamblers Anonymous (780) 463-0892 Greater Edmonton Resources - Housing for Seniors (780) 482-6561 Heart & Stroke Foundation (780) 451 4545 Huntington’s Disease Resource Centre 1-800-998-7398 Kidney Foundation of Canada (780) 451-6900 Lung Association, Alberta, NWT (780) 488-6819 Menopause Canada - www.menopausecanada.com Menopause Clinic - Grey Nuns Hospital (780) 735-7625 Osteoporosis Canada (403) 237-7022 Ovarian Cancer Canada 1-877-413-7970 Parkinsons Society of Alberta (780) 342-8993 Schizophrenia Society of Canada 1-800-263-5545 The Society of Obstetrics and Gynaecology of Canada 1-800-561-2416 Women’s Health Program - Royal Alexandra Hospital (780) 477-4804 Women’s Wellness Program - Grey Nuns Hospital (780) 735-7604
Do you have an event or resource that would benefit our baby boomer demographic, email: info@fabulousat50.com *all requests will be reviewed Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 31
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32 • Be Fabulous! I JAN • FEB • 2011