PARENTAL SUPPORT
Special Needs Parenting: Don’t Give Out and Don’t Give Up
By Tosha D. Rollins, LPC, ASDCS AS A PARENT AND PROFESSIONAL IN THE WORLD OF AUTISM, I OFTEN GET ASKED FOR PARENTING ADVICE. MY NO. 1 RESPONSE TO THAT QUESTION IS, “DON’T GIVE OUT AND DON’T GIVE UP.” THIS MAY SEEM LIKE A VERY BROAD RESPONSE TO SOME, BUT THERE IS ALMOST A SECRET SIGH OF RELIEF FOR MANY SPECIAL NEEDS PARENTS WHEN IT IS HEARD. OFTEN, PARENTS STAY QUIET ABOUT THEIR THOUGHTS OR FEELINGS REGARDING SCHOOL OR FAMILY MEMBERS OR EVEN AVOID ASKING FOR HELP FROM OTHERS. FEAR GUIDES THEM TO REMAIN SILENT, OFTEN LEAVING THEM TO FEEL ISOLATED AND ALONE. SPECIAL NEEDS PARENTS HAVE TO WORK EXTRA HARD TO COMMUNICATE THEIR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS TO THEIR OUTSIDE WORLD, AS MUCH AS THEIR INSIDE WORLD. LET ME EXPLAIN.
A
s a parent of two children on the autism spectrum who are now young adults, I found myself caught between not wanting to be the pebble making the ripples in the pond but desperately wanting someone to hear me, listen to me, and understand my concerns. Support systems can seem very small in special needs families, not because other family members or friends do not want to help, but because they do not know how to help. Sometimes it is hard for parents to accept the help that is offered to them. Here is my advice:
1. Say ‘Yes’ when someone offers to help 2. Communicate with friends and family, neighbors, and coworkers precisely what you need 3. Practice making a list of things that would be helpful if someone else offered to contribute 4. Think outside the box and present your request to them with very specific details regarding how they can help and how their assistance could benefit your family in a big way 5. Schedule a time immediately on the calendar, so there is a firm commitment 6. Say ‘thank you’
Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 4 | 27
