No Matter What
My Rope
E
leven years ago when I first came I thought about why God was not giving into Food Addicts in Recovery me the joy that others exhibited in their Anonymous (FA), I always had an sharing at meetings. Wasn’t I sacrificing excuse for why I could not make three enough? These thoughts monopolized phone calls, get to my meetings, or read my thinking, and I was depressed, sad, my Big Book. When I moved to a new and frustrated. home, I skipped my After many breaks meeting. When my and changing spondog was sick, I sors more than I When the pain got great stayed home to care to admit, I fienough, I became willing nally was desperate nurse him even though my husband enough to surrento pray for the willingness der some of my atwas home. When I had a vacation, I tachments to the to surrender my way never thought way I was doing my about scheduling program. When the of working FA. my flights to accompain got great modate my sponsor enough, I became calls. willing to pray for the willingness to surI did keep an extra 55 pounds (about 25 render my way of working FA. kilos) off my 5-foot, 2-inch body, yet my I borrowed the faith of others that the thoughts were consumed with fear, promises of this program would come if doubt, and worry. My thinking was off, I did what they did. So I began faking it and I was erratic and emotional. I sat in till I made it. I started working all the meetings and wondered why the prom- tools and asking for help to put this proises of the program that people talked gram first. I wish that I could say it was about were not happening for me, and easy, but it was not. It took me many why I was thinking about food so much. more years of struggle and fighting with connection
15
