Funeral Times issue 3 2023

Non-religious funeral and memorial ceremonies

Meaningful and memorable ceremonies

Humanist funerals and memorials are non-religious ceremonies which focus on the person who has died, the life they led, and the relationships they forged. They are based on the humanist perspective that every life is valuable and unique.

A humanist funeral or memorial is the perfec t option for families and fr iends who want a sincere, pers onal commemoratio n of their love d one, withou t religion.

Each funeral and memorial ceremony is tailore d to the person who has died, and the wishes of the people who love them, in the most fit ting way possible That may be an upbeat celebration of life or a ceremony with a more traditional tone.

Humanist funerals are inclusive and welcoming to people of all backgrounds and faiths They of ten include time for reflectio n on the person who has died, when those with religious beliefs can s ay a silent pr ayer, if they wish.

Humanist funerals and memorial ceremonies are conducted by our trained and accredited celebrants.

BALLYMENA

Lisa Wilkinson 07759 514139

BANBRIDGE

Joan Davis 07546 954222

BANGOR

Michael McAlinden 07305 892201

BELFAST

Richard Lavery 07802 839543

BELFAST

Máire De Buitléar 07841 860276

BELFAST

Maggie Smith 07858 373888

BELFAST

Rachel Smith 07957 474643

BELFAST

MaryLou McShane 07962 906236

BELFAST

Michael Conlon 07494 505033

DERRY

Julie Hassell 07510 851612

DROMORE

Sheena Bradley 07732 143183

DUNMURRY

Janni Knox 07890 861690

NEWTOWNABBEY Avril Hawthorne 07854 436914

NEWTOWNABBEY

Stewart Holden 07971 634098

NORTH DOWN

Trevor Molloy 07549 946622

Humanis t Ceremonies™ is part of Humanis ts UK , a registered char it y in England and Wales (no. 28 5987 ) and company limited by guarante e (no. 228781)

The magazine for Funeral Directors in Ireland

Disclaimer: Readers are urged to support the magazine’s advertisers, but the publishers cannot be held responsible for any claims made or implied in the advertisements. The publishers reserve the right to refuse advertising. Opinions expressed in this magazine by contributing writers and advertisers are not necessarily those of the publishers. Every effort is made to ensure the accuracy of information contributed for inclusion in this magazine but no legal responsibility will be accepted by the publishers for loss arising from the use of published articles. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior consent. Articles and photographs for inclusion are welcomed but the publishers cannot accept responsibility for their loss or damage however caused.

SCAN ME

We, at Funeral Times, warmly invite all funeral directors and others who work in, with, or supply to the funeral trade in Ireland, to join us at our much anticipated 2023 Funeral Times Trade Show Ireland taking place in The Pavilion at Leopardstown Racecourse, Dublin on Tuesday 3rd & Wednesday 4th October 2023.

SHOW

There is no entrance fee but to ensure the event remains ‘trade only’, we would ask visitors to Pre-Register for tickets. Simply scan the QR code above and you will be taken directly to our website, www.funeraltimestradeshowireland.com, where you can book your tickets and receive them back to your phone and email.

Dublin, Ireland D18 C9V6

miles from Dublin city centre

We have teamed up with Eimer Duffy and Helena Gilhooly of FIT Social Media (our Digital Marketing Team for the show), who will be keeping our social media channels up to date with all the latest show news, promotion of exhibitors, times and content of seminar topics, speakers details and much more! So be sure to like and follow us and we will follow you back!

#FuneralTimesTS2023

media accounts and we will follow you back....

Within Esker Lawn Cemeter y we have numerous options from which to choose: from traditional burial plots; ash burial or inter ment plots; to columbarium walls, all of which can be purchased in advance of need.

Great attention to detail has been paid by our craftsmen to create an environment in which family members can visit

A LIMITED NUMBER OF BURIAL PL OT S AND ASH INTERMENT OPTIONS ARE AV AILABLE TO PRE-PURCHASE IN ADV ANCE OF NEED

www.EskerLawnCemetery.com

Antrim and Newtownabbey Crematorium now open

Antrim and Newtownabbey Crematorium opened on Monday 5th June 2023. Located on the Doagh Road, Newtownabbey, the state-of-the-art facility is nestled back from the main road in a tranquil landscaped setting of native trees and a wildflower meadow featuring walking paths and seating areas for reflection, whilst a pond will provide a sense of calmness and encourage biodiversity.

The £5m investment, only the second crematorium in Northern Ireland will offer the latest technology services, providing the very best standard for music, visual tributes and live streaming. This facility will be a great asset not only for local residents but for the whole of Northern Ireland, offering an

essential service to families, to ensure that in difficult times people can say goodbye to their loved ones in a dignified way.

The crematorium will open Monday-Friday from 9am-4pm offering families a 45 minute service hourly from 10am-3pm. The Ceremony Room can accommodate 164 people with

a waiting room for overflow with screens and speakers. The Mayor of Antrim and Newtownabbey Councillor Mark Cooper BEM said; “The new crematorium will provide a crucial service for families across all of Northern Ireland. Arranging and attending funeral services is a very difficult and emotional time for all families and our staff

the lack of burial space the demand for cremations has increased significantly over the past number of years and this new crematorium will provide more options for bereaved families.”

The grounds at the crematorium are being developed further to include a memorial garden with elegant

vaults and a scattering lawn, which will offer more choice for bereaved people when thinking about the final resting place for their loved ones ashes, or when choosing a fitting memorial.

The Crematorium welcomes all faiths and services can be tailored to suit individual family requirements.

For more information visit. www. antrimandnewtownabbey. gov.uk/crematorium

Mercedes Fleet Solutions

from Duffy Coachbodies

Diesel, Petrol & Hybrid Options

New Delivery - Quinn Hearse and Limousine

-

Eugene Berry from Murphy Funeral Directors, Dublin gets the keys to a newly built Quinn 5 door E Class hearse

Jude Maguire, of Thomas Quigley & Son Funeral Directors, Strabane, Co. Tyrone collects his new 5 Door E Class hearse from Fearghas Quinn

IAFD News

Tom Lawless, IAFD President attends frontline works event hosted by Kildare Bereavement Network

Theevent aimed to raise awareness of the impact of bereavement and also shared information about sign posting people to bereavement supports available in Kildare.

There was a talk about the process of grief and why some people may need additional support after a loss. Many of the support services available in Kildare hosted stands and there was an opportunity to meet with service providers. A wide range of bereavement services were in attendance,

including those who support people bereaved by suicide, cancer, homicide, sudden cardiac death, traffic collision, loss of a baby, and services who support bereaved parents, bereaved children and bereaved adults. These services offer a range of supports from information, support groups, peer support and/or counselling.

Tom Lawless and Cathal Berry Independent TD Kildare

Sue Anne O’Donnell Civil Celebrant and IAFD Associate Member

IAFD President, Tom Lawless attends Financial Impact of Bereavement Dáil Briefing

Irish Hospice Foundation (IHF) kindly invited Tom to join them in attending a presentation about the findings from the real financial impact of bereavement report to TDs and Senators in Leinster House on Wednesday 10th May 2023.

IHF were invited by Deputy Sean Sherlock’s office (Labour, Cork East) and it was a great opportunity to raise awareness among the members of the Oireachtas about the impact of bereavement, including the cost of funerals and the implications of not planning ahead.

Tom Lawless and the team from Irish Hospice Foundation including CEO Paula O’Reilly

Tom Lawless and Sean Sherlock, TD

IAFD News

Appointment of Public Relations Officer

Irish Association of Funeral Directors called on the government to make changes to speed up the processing of post-mortems at the Dublin city mortuary

Following discussion with Dr Myra Cullinane, Dublin City Coroner and lobbying Department of Justice Membership Officer, Fintan Cooney participated in a number of media interviews including Business Post, NewsTalk and RTÉ .

The Board are pleased to announce the appointment of John-Mark Griffin to the position of Public Relations Officer. John-Mark joined the Board in 2021 and has been working alongside the Board to develop the PRO role and public relations strategy. We wish JohnMark every success in his new position.

IAFD to host HR presentation at Funeral Times Trade Show

Irish Association of Funeral Directors are pleased to support Funeral Times Trade Show 2023 and look forward to meeting you at the event.

We will be hosting a presentation by Peninsula Business Services on HR requirements for Funeral Directors.

Please come and say hello to us at the IAFD stand and learn more about how IAFD supports funeral services in Ireland.

John Mark Griffin, IAFD Public Relations Officer

Fintan Cooney, IAFD Membership Officer

Benefits of joining

Irish Association of Funeral Directors

• Membership of a professional organisation recognised by the general public

• Board of funeral professionals available to assist members

• Funeral director led organisation for promoting and developing standards of funeral service including a Code of Practice for all Members

• Access to IAFD education programme

• Representation of Members with Government, local authorities and media

• Unique all island network of funeral directors

• Professional Indemnity Insurance included as part of Membership fees

• Dispute resolution and Mediation -including legal advisory service

IAFD Contacts

Tom Lawless (President)

Lawless Funeral Directors

Mucklagh, Tullamore, Co. Offaly

Ph: 057 9322622

Email: president@iafd.ie

Niall Mulligan (First Vice President and Hon. Treasurer)

Heffernan’s Funeral Directors

Trim, Co. Meath

Mobile: 086 8208501

Ph: 046 9438662

Email: heffernansfd@gmail.com

Niamh Sweeney (Second Vice President and Education Officer)

John Sweeney and Sons

Fairgreen

Arklow, Co Wicklow

Ph: 0402 32333

Email: education@iafd.ie

Dara Gillespie (Immediate Past President)

Finlays Funeral Service

Tierney Street

Ardee, Co. Louth

Mobile: 086 7923472

Email: dara.gillespie@finlaygrp.com

Keith Greaney (Hon. Secretary)

Conneely Funeral Directors

Flood Street

Galway 091 562866

Email: secretary@iafd.ie

Fintan Cooney (Membership Officer)

Fanagans

54 Aungier Street

Dublin 2

Ph: 01 4167700

Email: membership@iafd.ie

Donal Forde

Fordes Funeral Homes LTD

South Gate Bridge

Cork, Co. Cork

Ph: 021 4318222

Email: donal@fordesfuneralhome.ie

Kylie Gourley

Funeral Partners Northern Ireland

300 Newtownards Road

Belfast

BT4 1HF

Ph: 028 9045 1021

Email: kylie.gourley@funeralpartners.com

John Mark Griffin

Griffin Funerals

John’s Gate Pennywell

Limerick

Ph: 061 415000

Email: pro@iafd.ie

Peter Maguire

Massey Bros

Crumlin Road, Dublin

Ph: 01 4541666

Email: peter@masseybros.com

Paul Reilly

Oliver Reilly Ltd Funeral Directors

Leinster Street, Maynooth

Ph: 045-868230

Email: info@reillysfuneralhome.ie

Pat Smyth

Smyth’s Funeral Directors

Lanesboro Street, Roscommon

Ph: 0906 626122

Email: info@smythsroscommom.com

Celebrating the life of the deceased, reflecting their personal beliefs, wishes, values and traditions.

Aidan Walsh from Aidan Walsh & Sons Funeral Directors, Tallow and Cappoquin, with his latest Quinn E Class 3 Door hearse

Your reputation is our reputation.

Newly released videos and resources aim to help young people during their grief journey

As four young people experience the death of a parent every day in Northern Ireland, a partnership between Funeral Partners NI and grief charity Cruse Bereavement Support NI, with assistance from the National Lottery Community Fund, is supporting young people navigating the loss of a loved one.

TheTeenage Youth Bereavement Project is a video support resource that has been created by members of Cruse Bereavement Support’s, Youth Advisory Group - ‘Somewhere For Us’. The short films include testimonies from young people about their own grief journey, discussion of personal experience following loss, and guidance on how to address grief, in a bid to support their peers who find themselves facing the death of someone they loved.

From discussing the individuality of each bereavement journey to the feelings young people have surrounding death, the videos aim to bring a level of understanding to a journey that has been presented so prematurely to many young people across the Province. Entitled ‘Coping Immediately After a Death’, ‘Birthdays and Anniversaries’, ‘Coping at School or College’ and ‘How to be a Grief Ally’, they offer guidance to help prevent isolation but equally promote self-care and time

alone to process the huge life event that is death. The young people also discuss milestones, including anniversaries and birthdays, in the aftermath of a loss and how to cope with and mark the occasions.

Speaking about the new resources, Beverley Brown, Community Relations and Marketing for Funeral Partners NI, said: “Grieving is individual to every single person. Dealing with death is a challenging life

event but when it happens to young people, it can be an even more complex event that can be extremely isolating.

“We hope that these resources, created through Funeral Partners’ collaboration with Cruse Bereavement NI, are a positive step in supporting young people and those who work with them to help them understand, and live with loss.

Emma Moore, Business Development Manager and Andrew Neale from James Brown & Sons

“It is important for us to

Beverley Brown, Community Relations and Marketing for Funeral Partners NI and Branch Development Manager Emma Moore

be part of an initiative that reaches out to young people and their peers at a time when they need it most. We hope this support material will prove valuable for all who find themselves facing bereavement.”

Thelma Abernethy, Head of Cruse in NI, said: “We were delighted to be asked by James Brown & Sons to help with this project. Whilst four young people a day experience the death of a parent, many more are bereaved of siblings, grandparents, friends and other family members, so the statistics are a lot higher.

“Support for bereaved children and young people

when they need it is vital and we know that these videos will be of great value to them. The Youth Advisory Group at Cruse decided on the topics for the videos and developed the content. They felt it was important to include some guidance for teachers and for other young people who may be supporting their friend who has been bereaved.

“They are an amazing group of bereaved young people who want to ensure that other bereaved young people know they are not alone.”

To find out more about the project or to request a pack, please visit: www. jamesbrownfuneraldirectors. com/cruse-bereavement/

FUNERAL PARTNERS NI BUSINESSES INVOLVED IN THIS PROJECT INCLUDE:

Adair & Neely, Derry~Londonderry; Bairds of Antrim; Houston & Williamson, Belfast; James Brown & Sons, Belfast, Dunmurry, Newtownabbey and Whiteabbey; John Gray & Co, Bangor, Holywood and Newtownards; Joseph Poots & Son, Portadown; Mulhollands Funeral Directors, Carrickfergus and Larne; Shields of Donaghadee.

About Funeral Partners:

Funeral Partners is the UK’s third largest funeral business, with more than 230 funeral homes staffed by over 1000 dedicated funeral professionals serving communities across England, Scotland and Northern Ireland.

Chief Executive Sam Kershaw has over 40 years’ experience in the funeral profession, joining the business back in 2016 as Chief Operating Officer. Funeral Partners, which celebrated its 15-year anniversary in 2022, has grown rapidly, building a strong reputation as a well-run, high-quality funeral services business overseeing more than 25,000 funerals each year.

It now includes more than 130 family businesses, which have entrusted their reputation and heritage to Funeral Partners.

For more information about Funeral Partners or if you are considering selling your business visit: www.funeralpartnersnorthernireland.com

Funeral industry stalwart raises £3,000 for crucial respite charity

Peter Mulholland, a wellknown retired Funeral Director from Carrickfergus, battled tricky weather conditions and a mammoth hill climb during a tough cycling challenge, to raise £3,000 for a charity that provides vital respite for cancer patients.

Peter, 70, and his friend Jim Adams, were two of the 6,000 participants who took part in the gruelling Etape Loch Ness event - a 66-mile closed road route around the famous Scottish loch.

The pair were cycling to raise money for Hope House Ireland - a charity that provides cancer patients and their carers with a place to stay for rest and recuperation during, or after their treatment.

Peter, who now works as a consultant at Mulhollands Funeral Directors, which was founded by his father in 1966, voiced his thanks to the many clients, friends and family who pledged their support. He also thanked Mulhollands’ parent company, Funeral Partners, who boosted the donations already received by contributing £1,000 - bringing the total amount raised to just under £3,000.

“Jim and I would like to thank people for being so incredibly generous. The facilities Hope House provides are just fantastic, so it’s a very worthwhile cause. I hope the money makes a real difference,” Peter said.

He added: “I’d also like to

thank Funeral Partners for providing the cycling jerseys we wore with pride during the challenge.”

The event features a daunting hill climb, which Peter said was one of the most demanding parts of the ride, especially combined with the sleet and mist, which had rolled into Scotland on the morning of the ride.

“We were told before we started that a piper would be playing at the top of the hill, and when you could hear him, you were close to the finish line,” Peter said.

“It was such a relief when we heard him playing because my legs were really hurting but despite the pain, I can honestly say that it was a fabulous experience, and I felt an amazing sense of achievement when we finished.”

Dawn McConnell, Hope House Trustee Founder, said: “We would like to thank our Hope champions Peter and Jim for this amazing support and we are overwhelmed by the fantastic amount of money that was raised for Hope House

‘We’re so grateful to them, and to each and every person who gave donations to offer people the chance to rest and recuperate away from the pressures of hospital treatments and appointments.

“For people and their carers who are living with cancer, time is so precious, and the money raised will go towards helping us continue to provide our complimentary breaks that enable them to get much needed quality time together in a beautiful tranquil setting at the beach in Browns Bay.”

Jim Adams, Funeral Partners Business Development Manager Emma Moore, Hope House Ireland Trustee Sam McCullough and Peter Mulholland

Harnessing Pre-planning: Streamline your Funeral Services with My Farewell Wishes

My Farewell Wishes is an Irish funeral preplanning service, created by funeral directors, that allows people to document and share their last wishes, from the main questions about burial or cremation, wake or not, coffin choice, to the little details like including a photograph for the funeral notice or what type of flowers they’d like - they can even write their own funeral notice! By encouraging families to use this service, funeral directors can better meet their clients’ wishes while reducing the pressure on grieving families.

The funeral sector is constantly evolving, with more and more people looking for ways to take control of their end-of-life plans. As funeral directors, it is up to us to adapt to these changing needs, and provide the best possible support and guidance. My Farewell Wishes is a valuable tool that not only helps families in their time of need but also significantly benefits you, the funeral director.

One of the key benefits of using My Farewell Wishes is the reduction of decision-making stress for bereaved families. Losing a loved one is such an emotionally overwhelming experience, and making immediate decisions about funeral arrangements can often add to the stress. By having these preferences prerecorded, families can focus on healing and commemoration, knowing they are honouring their loved one exactly as they wished.

Moreover, My Farewell Wishes provides an opportunity for open discussions about endof-life decisions. It’s not uncommon for families

to avoid such conversations, often leading to uncertainty when the time comes. By promoting this service, funeral directors can foster a culture of open dialogue, ensuring families are better prepared for the inevitable.

My Farewell Wishes offers clear business benefits for funeral directors. Our online platform’s user-friendly interface and comprehensive planning options result in a smoother, more efficient process. You can upload your own funeral planning guides, readings and reflections guides. Our forms and guides can be branded with your company details, giving a really polished, professional look to your services.

At all times the customers and their representatives are made aware that our payment system is based on deposit payments, and a top up may be required at the time of providing the services. The availability of our independent Trust and the use of our Estimate forms and Terms and Conditions gives you security and gives credibility and peace of mind to you and your customers. It also allows you to establish a stronger relationship with families, fostering trust and client loyalty.

By using My Farewell Wishes, funeral directors can better anticipate the scale and specifics of the service required, from the choice of coffin or casket to the style of the ceremony. This level of foresight can really help you with logistical planning, potentially saving time, effort, and resources. In addition, the service acts as a form of early communication between

Imagine walking into your family meeting already knowing the answer to most of the questions. Imagine having it all detailed in advance, and all you have to do is open your file once you receive the first call. How much easier would this make that first - often frantic- 24 hours?

the client and the director, streamlining the process when the time comes.

Our Record of Wishes form educates as well as records - it acts as a gateway for families to explore various options they might not have considered otherwise. The Record of Wishes encourages customers to delve deeper into their options and preferences, potentially opening up opportunities for additional services and personalisation.

Finally, promoting the use of My Farewell Wishes to families sends a message of empathy and understanding. It shows that as a funeral director, you are invested in their emotional wellbeing and you are committed to providing a service that respects their loved one’s wishes.

This level of care can significantly enhance your reputation, setting you apart in an increasingly competitive sector.

Partnering with My Farewell Wishes not only lets you provide a more personalised and efficient service but also positions you as a forwardthinking provider in the eyes of your clients. It’s a win-win situation, enhancing the experience for the families you serve while streamlining your operations. Embrace this opportunity to enhance your services and join the future of funeral planning with My Farewell Wishes. We’re here to help you.

Áine Tuffy Manager, My Farewell Wishes

Property Clearance After Death

By Alana Gillen, Specialist Cleaning Services

Our goal in trauma cleaning, is to restore things to a safe and habitable condition, eliminating any potential health risks and to provide a service that deals with the visual distress and fetid odours that are left behind.

After this initial urgent cleaning service, we also provide, full property clearance and cleaning for those who may need this. We hand back a clean empty home ready for the next stage. We also specialise in hoarding disorders, overwhelming living conditions and self neglect situations. We help people all over the country both privately and through NHS referrals to help create a better, safer home environment to live in.

Very often these situations crossover. On regular occasions we have found that when a person passes away,

it’s only then do families learn of their living conditions. It can be extremely difficult for anyone to understand how or why this happens and even harder to know where to start a clearance and cleaning process. This can also create a lot of mixed emotions including anger in families. “Mess is morally neutral and shame is the enemy of function” Clutter, dirt and mess does not make a bad person, fear and shame are demoralising.

With over 10 years of providing compassionate clearance and cleaning services for those battling with hoarding disorders, we complete these services even for those who have passed away. Once I have talked through the process with the family and we have a plan in place, I personally go through the deceased’s home

and belongings, without my team. I take time to separate important documents and valuables to be returned to family members. I am usually tasked with finding a certain item or keepsake, sometimes even a will.

Then we declutter the rooms of rubbish and gubbins allowing family to visit safely if they wish, they can then decide on what items and mementos are to be moved to storage or relocated elsewhere. Once they have any important items, we clear and clean the property. With a full maintenance team on board including joiners, painters and gardeners we are able to provide a one stop shop for those heading towards selling homes that are left behind.

Once again thank you to all who recommend me to families in time of need.

Unfortunately not everyone passes away peacefully in bed, not everyone is found straight away, but we are the specialists who provide the clean up process for the aftermath of any type of death.

SPECIALIST CLEANING SERVICES FOR AFTER A DEATH

Sometimes the circumstances of a loved one’s death can be very traumatic, unfortunately this can also mean needing a specialist cleaning service. We provide this 24/7 and are always just a phone call away. Discreetly and respectfully, we clean up all manner of incidents.

Our specialist service can now be offered to your clients as part of the arrangements. We clean up every type of incident with discretion and dignity Tel: 07522 921299 specialistcleaningni.com | info@specialistcleaningni.com

Alana Gillen

Vincy Bear comes to Funeral Times Trade Show 2023!

The Quinn family will be hosting a teddy bear scavenger hunt at the Funeral Times Trade Show this October!

Everyone is invited to join us in the hunt for all of Vincy Bear’s hiding spots throughout the exhibition. Find them all to get a show-exclusive goodie bag, along with your very own Vincy Bear to take home, and prestigious interviews with the winners.

You can also get the chance to enter our free raffle with prizes for all ages.

We’ll see you at stand G5 to show off our current crop of vehicles, and to catch up over a coffee.

About Vincy Bear

Meet the newest member of the Quinn’s squad - Vincy Bear.

Named after our grandfather, Vincent Quinn, who was the owner of a pub, funeral directors and car repair garage in Moneyglass, Co. Antrim.

In the 80’s, Vincent’s sons (Fearghas included of course!) worked together to build a hearse for their father to use in the funeral business.

We have fond memories of our Granda Vincy and although he isn’t with us anymore, he is loved and cherished all the same.

We hope you find room in your home and your heart for our Vincy - he’s a special one!

From all at Quinn Hearse and Limousine

Always In Our Hearts

When someone passes away their life may have ended, but the love and memories we have can continue to be shared so that they will live on in our hearts forever.

We understand that every loss is very personal, and everyone finds their own way to cope with the experience. Often people can find comfort by doing something meaningful that honours the memory of the person they have lost, and this is what creating a Northern Ireland Chest Heart & Stroke ‘Always In My Heart’ online tribute is all about.

It’s a personalised special place of remembrance where family and friends can add and share photos, videos and stories, creating a wonderful online memory box of time spent with their loved one. It can help people to easily keep in touch and support one another through the grieving process, and going forward, share information about special anniversaries or any other important family occasions.

User friendly and accessible on a PC, tablet or mobile phone, content can be uploaded easily, and there is no set-up cost. Privacy settings can be adjusted to give the family full control of who sees the content, and it belongs to them to use for as long as they want, remaining online permanently, or for a specific period of time, allowing the memories of their loved one to live on for future generations.

Whilst there is no expectation of fundraising, or making a donation in memory, if someone does choose to do so, they will be ensuring their loved one’s impact is never forgotten. By raising vital funds for our charity, they will be helping save local lives, and make an amazing difference to the care and support we are able to provide to people living with chest, heart and stroke illnesses in our communities, as well as their families.

If you would like to find out more or need assistance setting up an online tribute with us, please telephone 028 9032 0184 or email inmemory@nichs.org.uk

Setting up an online tribute with us is free, easy and only takes a few minutes:

• Go to: www.nichs.muchloved.org

• Select ‘Create A Tribute’

• Upload photos, videos and memories

• Share the link with family and friends

Northern Ireland Chest Heart & Stroke

Diversity is key!

- By Ian FeeLakelands Funeral Home & Crematorium, Cavan

While the essence of a funeral has remained largely unchanged over the millennia that they’ve been a part of the human story, the symbolism and cultural relevance of them changes significantly depending on the social and philosophical background of the community and the deceased. Funerals in Ireland, certainly over the last couple of centuries have been largely shaped by the Churches and the faith practices of the people. Recent times, though, have seen an array of new approaches and understandings of what a funeral can be, and how it can be a much more bespoke celebration of the life being commemorated.

For funeral directors, this can present new challenges, not just practically but also ideologically. People come to us not just with their plans and arrangements, but with the life of their loved one, with all its colours and textures, asking us to help them pay tribute to their individuality. Modern life is so cosmopolitan, much more so than ever before, and we need to be both open and understanding of this when it comes to the types of funerals they want.

Whenever I’m arranging a service, I always emphasise to the loved ones that we start with a blank page. If it’s not a church service, and we’re not bound by strict liturgical rules and prescribed rites, we can create a service that reflects the singular life we’re remembering. Music, symbols, reflections, all that goes into making the service what it is, all can be tuned to the frequency of that person’s life, their spirit and character. While we may find some of it unusual, while it may not line up with our beliefs and while we may need to ask the family or loved ones for guidance on how best to represent the deceased’s life, as long as we approach it with respect, with a willingness to understand and learn, and with the dignity we would hope would be shown to one of our own, then we’re on the right foot. Diversity might be thought of by some as a modern concept, but it’s always been the marker when it comes to the distinctiveness of each person and the understanding that the ‘one size fits all’ approach is not the way to arrange a funeral service. As in life, how we mark a death can be something truly representative and beautifully unique.

Supplying the New Antrim and Newtownabbey Crematorium

We appreciate the opportunity to supply the new Antrim & Newtownabbey Crematorium with a Twin X Lifter Plus. Pictured above are crematorium staff - Kiera, John & Donald.

Have you ever said, “I think we need a break honey”?

You all know, more than most, what a stressful job it is being a funeral director or working in the funeral trade! Normal weekends don’t exist, it’s 7 days a week, 365 days a year!

Our industry colleague, William McGuckin of CPL Funeral Supplies and his wife Siobhan, have come up with a wonderful getaway opportunity which they think you’ll all love! They have created a luxurious getaway retreat in Rossnowlagh, Co. Donegal, which they have called The Bee Pods!

The Bee Pods are nestled amidst the stunning landscapes of Donegal’s Wild Atlantic Way, promising an unforgettable getaway for funeral directors seeking a weekday or weekend getaway with panoramic views of Rossnowlagh Beach and the Atlantic Ocean. All pods have been designed and built by William and Siobhan, with a focus on taking only what they need and minimising the disruption to the

natural environment. Each pod is thoughtfully curated to provide a luxurious and comfortable stay, while allowing guests to connect with nature and disconnect from the stresses of daily life.

‘Bee’ lieve it or not, William and Siobhan also produce exceptional honey, from their very own beehives, which are also on the site.

“The Bee Pods Rossnowlagh is an adults-only, unique destination,” said Siobhan. “Our pod cabins offer the perfect escape from the hustle and bustle of everyday life, allowing you to unwind, disconnect and restore in a tranquil natural setting.”

Why not have a look at their website www.thebeepods.com or call Siobhan on +353 (0)87 340 0666.

Through our own personal experience we received the inspiration to set up Treasured Keepsakes, to give people a wide variety of options upon a loved one’s passing should they choose to keep a lock of hair, cremated remains, a piece of jewellery, a photograph or anything that is a personal reminder of their loved one in a small keepsake, keepsake pendant or urn.

Funeral directors we are currently working with have tailored our service to suit their needs. We have two options of how our service can work for you. If you wish you can buy our products from us at a wholesale price and sell them directly to your clients. Alternatively we can offer this service to your clients directly.

We would hope that by recommending our service we will enhance and add value to your business at no extra cost to you.

For more information contact us or visit our website

Tel: 01 825 4579 From NI: 00353 1 825 4579

info@treasuredkeepsakes.ie www.treasuredkeepsakes.ie

Treasured Keepsakes going from strength to strength

Treasured

Keepsakes will celebrate 14 years in business this August.

Times spoke to Liza to see how the last number of years has been.

“Business has been very fulfilling and successful over the last number of years. The Treasured Keepsakes name is now well know among funeral directors and the general public. Over the years we have met and dealt with many funeral directors. They have all been very helpful and eager to use our service and offer their advice. Many of the funeral directors now display Treasured Keepsakes products in their funeral homes which enable families to choose from the display if they so wish. We have also met with many bereaved families who have

Funeral

been referred to us by the funeral director and who are also sadly repeat clients as we have been in business so long. We have received very positive feedback from funeral directors and from families whom we have dealt with on their behalf. This is always great to hear. Of late more and more of our business is coming from referrals from families we have previously dealt with. This is very pleasing for me as it is recognition of the quality of service and products that we are providing” said Liza.

Treasured Keepsakes is a small family run company run by Liza. Her husband Keith, son Mark and daughter Lucy also work part time in the business. They provide funeral directors and clients with keepsake pendants and various sized urns. “When we started this business we had one main aim and that was to make the option of a keepsake or pendant as easy and accessible as possible to everyone. We have achieved this goal and I am really pleased about this. Sadly having lost several family members over the last sixteen years I can relate to what families are going through at this very sad time. I have met many families over the last thirteen years and they have said it was a comfort to them to deal with me as I could relate to how they were feeling” said Liza.

Liza explains how the service can work for you “Using Treasured Keepsakes means you never have to buy urns or keepsakes for stock

if you do not want to, but they are still readily available from a local Irish company. We will sell our products to you at a wholesale price for you to sell on to your clients. Alternatively I can meet your clients on your behalf and let them view a selection of our products, filling the items that they have chosen. You can refer your client to me safe in the knowledge that they will be looked after in a professional and compassionate manner. Using our service will enhance your business by giving the choice of a wide selection of products to your clients but at no extra cost to you.”

If you would like to view any of their products or would like to discuss how Treasured Keepsakes can deal directly with bereaved families on your behalf, please do not hesitate to contact them and they will be happy to discuss the options with you.

Treasured Keepsakes will be taking a stand at the upcoming Funeral Times Trade Show in October 2023 to showcase all their products. They can be found at stand M14. “I hope to meet funeral directors who have not already had the opportunity to view our products and discuss the services that they provide” said Liza. They are also looking forward to meeting and catching up with their existing clients who have supported them to date.

The opportunity to choose a treasured keepsake presents itself only once - the comfort a treasured keepsake offers lasts a lifetime.

For more information on any of our products or on how Treasured Keepsakes can work alongside your company contact Liza Webster or Edward Foley on Tel: 01 8254579. From NI: 00353 1 8254579 or email:info@treasuredkeepsakes.ie or visit: www.treasuredkeepsakes.ie

Inr-Seel and Feature Builder: The Ultimate Utility Players

By Tom Sherman

Tom has been in the funeral industry for over 20 years and still regularly embalms. He is the Dodge representative in central and western Texas.

WhenI speak with people about prep roomsupplies, 99% of the time they expect to have a conversation about chemicals. Cavity, arterial, accessory chemicals, etc. are the expected topic of the conversation, and, of course, we do talk about these things. People are often surprised when I start asking, so what do you have to help in this or that situation? Perhaps in the case of an autopsy, how many locking forceps, hemostats, clamps, and in what varying sizes do you have? Our prep rooms are equipped with so many various items that it can be hard to keep up with all the different things you may need at any given moment. From a roll of good paper towels to a quality lift and the countless little things in between that we may not need every single day, but the day that we need them then we really need them!

Now, I could sit here and fill these pages with lists of all the things a well-equipped prep room could have, but I’m not doing that. Instead, I am going to focus on the two items that I often bring up that people are the most surprised to hear. These items are like the utility players on a baseball team. Sure, Johnny is a fine center fielder, but he’s also a good shortstop, can pitch a little in a pinch, and he hits well. That’s a utility player. These two items I find to be so useful in so many ways that I keep them at home so that I can take them with me to a funeral home if they ask for help and I’m not sure they have them there.

Starting at the top of the lineup, to continue my clumsy baseball analogy, is Inr-Seel.

Commonly known around Texas at least as “peanut butter,” this mastic compound is right at the top of the list of items with the most diverse uses in a prep room. When I get phone calls because someone is having an issue with

a case, I can say unequivocally that at least half the time my answer is Inr-Seel. So what are the different uses that make this such a useful tool in your prep room arsenal? Well I’m glad I asked, because here goes.

First and foremost is feature setting. Having always been a mouth shaper who uses Webril and Kalip Stay Cream, and sometimes mouth formers when necessary, I was shocked the first time I saw someone use Inr-Seel for the mouth, and intrigued. By using the Inr-Seel instead of cotton there was so much more control for shaping the expression. From building up cheeks from within and being able to smooth them back so as to not look like chipmunks’ cheeks, to having the ability to give someone that pleasant expression, a semi-smile, or as requested by some people, a big smile, there are so many possibilities.

It’s so simple, too. Just place the end of the nozzle (of the two nozzles that come with the injector, round and flat, I prefer flat here) and twist the handle and inject the product into the mouth by the cheek on each side. If it is overfilled just a little, you can start pressing it down and getting it into the shape you want. On cases of people who’ve lost a lot of weight or even become emaciated, this also helps when it’s time to feature build later. Because the cheek has already been physically elevated, we’re not trying to fill the cheek internally past what should look natural. Then still using the flat nozzle, run the Inr-Seel across the teeth and gums. Now we can even out any sunken or raised spots, and even change the expression by adjusting how the lips are angled and turned.

Want more of a smile? Move the corners of the mouth up a little, then use your aneurism

hook or forceps to press more nasolabial fold beneath the cheekbone. That one act can change the entire look of the person you are working on. Not only that, but it doesn’t wick moisture and promote dehydration the way cotton does.

I had been thinking about this new (to me) use for Inr-Seel since I’d gotten home from the seminar where I saw it done for the first time. So I ordered a new Heavy Compound Injector (more on this later) and a new jar of Inr-Seel. We had both of these in our prep room already but due to lack of care they had become unusable, more on this later as well. My new equipment came in and I was ready to try it out. I loaded my Heavy Compound Injector with Inr-Seel from the jar, got it primed up so the product was ready to come out at the slightest turn of the handle, needle injected the mouth, put in a mouth former to create a base for the Inr-Seel since the decedent had no teeth or dentures, and I went to work. I put the product in the cheeks, in the mouth, on the teeth! And also on the lips, the chin, the eyes, my gloves, oh what a mess I was. But that was OK, because I knew I could take some Dry Wash II and clean it all up, so I just kept going.

Now I was shaping the cheeks, making the folds, adjusting the lips. Inr-Seel was everywhere, I added more, took some out, I could just see the expression I was looking for forming, then I went too far and had to redo it. This took so much time that I decided this is clearly not that way I was going to do things. But dang it, Jack Adams did it and it looked amazing! I knew it could be done. I struggled, I’m not going to lie. But I got there! And the person looked great and I had learned a lesson. A lesson that is fairly obvious that nonetheless people forget all the time. When using a new product for a new technique, it takes time, patience, and practice to perfect your skill. No one went into their first embalming and raised vessels in three seconds. The same applies with any skill that’s worth acquiring. And it is worth it!

Now, that’s the number one thing I think most people use Inr-Seel for. But I know some people who won’t ever care to use it for features. Embalmers have their ways that are comfortable and they’re going to stick with them. As an embalmer myself, I get that. However, that doesn’t mean that Inr-Seel isn’t still a valuable

prep room accessory. Another example of its utilitarian use is in autopsy prep. I’ve written about this before so I won’t go too far into it but using Inr-Seel to seal off the exposed vessels in the base of the skull and also to close the seam when the calvarium is reattached is fast, easy and effective insurance against leaks. Just brush a bit of Pore Closer over the Inr-Seel and you’re set.

But wait, there’s more! One of the more common phone calls I get when it comes to an issue from an autopsied case is this: “The ear won’t stop leaking, and I’ve done everything but it just keeps coming.” My answer is always locked and loaded. Do you have your InrSeel handy? Do you also have the compound injector? Take the round nozzle of the injector and place it into the ear canal and fill it with the Inr-Seel. Fill it to the point that it visibly just starts to come out into the ear. Now, press that down with your finger tip, and make sure that the passage is sealed all the way around. This can be done by simply rubbing it in all directions to close any little gaps. Then wipe away the excess that may have gotten onto the visible part of the ear. Dry Wash II will get it right out. Finally, take your Pore Closer and brush it over the Inr-Seel.

If at this moment you don’t have Pore Closer, Aron Alpha can be used too, just be careful to not get it all over. The Inr-Seel itself acts as the plug in the ear, and because of its pliability, it will go deeply into the canal and adhere to all sides. It’s better than just putting in cotton which is limited in how form fitting it can be. Then the Pore Closer on top of the Inr-Seel seals it up and makes sure it stays exactly where you want it. Not only is the problem solved, but it’s reasonably simple and not overly messy. With the right precautions, towels, plastic, etc, it can be done in the casket. The towels and plastic are to catch any liquid that the insertion of the Inr-Seel may push out.

There’s another use here that has to do with autopsies and ears leaking as well. The situation described above used to be the most common one: the ear is simply leaking. But in recent years there’s a disturbing new trend I’ve seen on autopsied cases: the techs are cutting THROUGH the ear canal altogether. So now, you have an ear detached from the canal with a hole that goes to nothing, and the hole of the

canal itself is exposed. So now, if you have the misfortune of an ear that is leaking, it is harder to fix from the outside because they may not line up right. Not to mention the problem that the external ear hole may be showing bone or muscle underneath.

In this case what I learned after some time in helping people deal with issues that came later after the embalming, was (and now I’m mixing metaphors) a good defense is the best offense. Now as soon as I see the dissected ear canal, I know that I will have to take care of that before I close and suture the head. By going ahead and filling that canal with Inr-Seel while I have good access to it, and treating the Inr-Seel with Pore Closer, not only have I prevented a potential future leak, but I’ve done it while I have easy access so it’s simple to do. Not only that, but if the Inr-Seel shows through the hole of the ear, at least it looks more like flesh than bone. It can also be touched up with a bit of cosmetic if the shade needs to be darker.

In the case of trauma, Inr-Seel is a player that rarely stays on the bench. Facial bone trauma causes difficulty when it comes to reshaping the face. Feature Builder often doesn’t work here because there’s no structure under the cheeks to hold up the cheek and support the shape. However, using Inr-Seel as the foundation allows us to reshape the cheek from within and if Feature Builder is still needed, it gives a foundation to hold the shape. If the bone structure we are rebuilding is accessible from the mouth then that’s going to be easy. Insert the nozzle from the mouth to the area of trauma and inject the Inr-Seel until it looks just a bit overfilled. Then you can smooth and shape accordingly.

It’s a more involved process if you can’t access the trauma externally, but it’s still possible.

By separating the internal and external lower eyelid, you can take your scissors or scalpel and open an internal channel that will accept the nozzle and then the Inr-Seel to rebuild and restructure the face. We can also separate the eyelid on the upper eyelid and use Inr-Seel to reshape a depression in the forehead and fill in emaciated eye sockets. Like everything else it takes some practice to shape the features and to know how much or how little Inr-Seel is needed. The good news is that it can’t make things worse, it can only help. So if we keep trying and not automatically close the casket, eventually it’s going to be a regular process that inspires confidence rather than trepidation. Keep in mind, when we keep trying, and the word gets around that this funeral home took so and so who flipped his truck five times and got ejected and we were able to see him to say goodbye, but that other funeral home had told us it couldn’t be done, then in addition to helping families mitigate their grief and say their goodbyes, our business will grow and we will get more calls.

Inr-Seel is great for surface trauma issues as well. Tracheotomy stomas are often tough to suture in a way that looks natural, and that’s only if they aren’t so old they won’t even close with a suture. By putting in some Webril to provide a base, we can then put some Inr-Seel on top of that, seal it with the Pore Closer, then add a fine layer of wax on top in order to add natural lines and markings, we have created a natural surface instead of a weird line or unnatural appearance. This same technique can be applied to bullet holes. Suturing or using trocar buttons on bullet holes works great on areas that will be covered with clothes, but on the face or hands this doesn’t look at all natural. By using the same process as with the stoma,

we create more natural appearances, so that, with practice, over time, even when families are looking to find the wounds they can’t.

I’ve walked into prep rooms and had my friend point to a sutured incision and say, “Look at this, the skin is just falling apart, it’s going to be prone to leaking and the suture is barely holding in the skin.” Here comes Inr-Seel again, off the bench and into the game. If we can insert the nozzle of the compound injector into the incision without undoing the suture, that’s what we do. Fill it with the Inr-Seel until it has raised the area, then press the incision into the Inr-Seel. The compound will fill in the gaps and the suture holds while sealing away leaks. Seal the area with an application of Pore Closer and we’re all set. If the nozzle won’t go under the suture, or if even before the suturing is done we feel this will be an issue, fill the incision with Inr-Seel, then suture on top of it. This needle and ligature will pull the compound into the holes, providing protection.

The other most common call I get where my best utility player gets brought out, is purging. This call mostly comes with bariatric cases or

extremely edematous cases. “We’ve aspirated again and again, treated the cavity, done this and that, and they are going out in 10 minutes and we’re out of time.” I know the answer in a best-case scenario is to get to the bottom of the purge, but when I’m getting the call that means that time has run out. As often as not the decedent is already in the casket and purging again when I get this call. So, first question from me is, is your Inr-Seel close at hand? Now, coat some cotton with the compound near the bottom and repack the nose with it. Next, preferably using the round nozzle on the Heavy Compound Injector, fill the nostrils quite a ways with the Inr-Seel and the cotton will act as the base in the sinuses. I use my finger to push it in to where it’s not visible from the surface and also to make sure it has formed a total seal. Finally, here comes the Pore Closer to seal it up. Of course, I make sure the mouth and eyes are glued all the way across. It’s easy on the extremely obese case to miss the corners. The only trick here is to be cautious to not mess up cosmetics if they’re already applied, but in the end it is better to have to reapply some

cosmetic than to have to explain to a family what that is staining their loved one’s clothes and casket.

Before moving on to the next most useful but underappreciated prep room item, a note about the Heavy Compound Injector. When I first started in the funeral home we had one but it was old and hadn’t been taken care of. So as far as I was concerned they were bad tools that didn’t work. While we always had Inr-Seel on hand we would have to use spatulas or our hands to apply it for any use. Because of this my use of the compound was fairly limited. It wasn’t until that Jack Adams seminar at Commonwealth Institute in Houston where I saw for the first time how you should take care of it, so I want to mention it here. I still talk to embalmers that think they are useless because they never had one that was taken care of.

When you use the injector, whether you’re filling it up or injecting with it, put cream on the threads. Filling it is even easier now that we have the Inr-Seel Quik-Paks. These are 5 oz. packaged Inr-Seel where all you have to do is cut off the bottom and load it into the compound injector. It’s a million times better than the old scoop it from the jar and try unsuccessfully not to make a mess. The cap that covers the nozzle should always be screwed on tight after use and the threads treated with cream. And make sure to clean it after each use. The problems come when the compound itself is on the threads or not covered in the nozzle and dries up, creating issues with the injector’s function. But if you take the simplest care of it, it will last you for life.

Let’s talk about Feature Builder. Of course, it’s for feature building. We all have it, we’ve all used it, we’ve built up temples and cheeks. That was easy. Moving on. But wait, this article is about the underutilized uses of this product, and there are many.

Fingerprint keepsakes have been around for a while. I still shudder at the times in the funeral home when I had to ink print fingerprints to send in for these orders. It was messy, it made smudgy prints, and it had to be done multiple times to get it right. The technology has come a long way on this, with the scanners attached to the phones and all that. But the fingers still have to have readable prints. All too often the fingers being scanned are dehydrated and deflated,

making them wrinkled. Even worse are when someone’s fingers have been sitting in liquid, like the inside of a pouch, post-autopsy. We spent so much time trying to get a good angle, squeezing in just the right spot to try and build up the finger, and any other thing we could do to get that print.

One day I was struggling, and mad that I was even having to deal with it, but knowing that it had to get done because, besides the family’s wishes to have those items, it’s revenue to the office. As I turned my body and their hand all around to find the right angle I looked up in frustration and my gaze landed directly on a bottle of Feature Builder. It was an “Aha!” moment that had me kicking myself for not thinking of it earlier. By injecting a bit of it into the fingertip you can bring back the print and have enough resistance to press it onto the ink pad or, in today’s age, the reader. It’s not very much, we don’t want to overfill the finger, this can distort the print and be a problem. Start with less than you think, then, if necessary, add a little at a time until it’s just right. Once you get the right amount down it becomes quick and easy every time.

Naturally, Feature Builder is good for reinflating eyeballs, just make sure to use a smaller gauge needle and hold your finger over the hole so it can set. I’ve talked about this in previous articles, so I won’t go into it much here. The part about holding your finger over the hole till it sets matters. In this business IV holes are the banes of our existence. You don’t even always know that they are there until someone is being dressed! Other times, even if you know they’re there, and you’ve glued them closed, a drip might still make its way out. This is another time when Feature Builder can save the day. Again, using a smaller gauge needle, either inject directly into the IV point, or start an inch to the side of it and inject the Feature Builder toward the spot. In both cases make sure to hold your finger on the injection and IV sites so that it can set. And you’re done. It’s as simple as that.

I received a call a couple of years ago from a friend telling me how he had a decedent who had been embalmed somewhere else, and they hadn’t closed the mouth particularly well and it was separating in a weird way. One side of her lips were separated, maybe half an inch. The other side was close together, though not

quite there. He had tried to glue the whole thing but the extremely open side wouldn’t move, it was too firm. I asked him had he tried Feature Builder yet, and he seemed perplexed. At the time I only lived about an hour and a half away and it was Saturday so I was home. The bad news was her viewing was in less than three hours. I jumped in the car, hightailed it over, grabbed his Feature Builder and a 22 gauge 1” needle.

Here’s where it got tricky. If I were to just start injecting, then the lips would merely swell up and look big. They might not even go up to touch. I took an aneurysm hook and held the handle firmly below the lip, pressing the mouth against the teeth. Then I started slowwwwly injecting the Feature Builder so the lip was filling in a way that stayed flat but still went upward toward the top lip. Doing this I was able to get it almost there. So I went to the top lip and did the same thing and the lips met. He was able to put some cosmetic on and put her in the casket, and she was ready about 20 minutes before the family arrived.

Now I know the question everyone wants to ask is why not just have used wax? Well, we probably could have, but the amount of wax

we would have had to use would have been like building an altogether new half of a mouth. The feature building also ended up looking more natural. I’ve said in a previous article that Feature Building lips when a family thought someone’s lips were too thin isn’t particularly difficult. But it does take practice and patience for it to be easy and fast. If someone is just starting out trying this technique, I cannot repeat often enough to inject slowly and only a little at a time. It is easier to change direction and add more, than it is to try and squeeze it back out. Not everyone needs to look like they got collagen injections yesterday!

These are only a few of the less common functions of Inr-Seel and Feature Builder. We discover new ones all the time when something comes up and we have to innovate. These are my favorites though, and the most common answers to the phone calls I receive asking for advice. I’ve said it before, and I’m saying it again, my favorite part of writing these articles is that I know that now I will see people who tell me their interesting techniques and tricks and I’ll learn even more. I hope that this has added some weapons to your arsenal and also will be a conversation starter to learn even more.

New Delivery Pierce Coachbuilders

Mortuary Services & Training Specialists

(BIE Accredited tutor, Cyril Gantley)

Professional and very Competitive Repatriation Service.

Nationwide Collection and Embalming Service.

Daily Collections from Dublin Hospitals, Nursing Homes etc.

(deceased can be then collected from our premises or delivered to your Funeral Home)

Fully Equipped Fleet of Private Ambulances

Mercedes Saloon Type Limousine now available for hire

Woodstock Ind. Est. Athy, Co. Kildare 086 0619500 059 8631541 085 7671582

www.mortuary-science.ie

Robert, Rosemary and Clodagh Gabriel from Bandon, Co. Cork are pictured with their brand new Mercedes hearse from Pierce Coachbuilders

Eimer Duffy is a Social Media Consultant and Trainer at FIT Social Media. Through bespoke solutions, Eimer helps Funeral Professionals gain a better online presence, build communities and trust online with zero stress and hassle in a short space of time. She also co-hosts the only social media for business radio show in Ireland called “The Let’s Get Social Show” every Friday at 2pm on Dublin South FM and the show is on podcast too. Check out www. fitsocialmedia.ie to learn more.

How to enhance your LinkedIn presence for Funeral trade conferences, exhibitions and everyday!

Funeral

trade conferences, exhibitions and shows provide valuable networking opportunities for Funeral Professionals. And the great news is that the one industry event you definitely want to be at this year is The Funeral Times Trade Show Ireland 2023. It’s 6 years since the last one so it is a great opportunity to connect with other professionals. Definitely bring your business cards, but now’s the time to embrace the one networking platform that is gaining more and more use not just at Funeral Industry Trade events but on a daily basis with Funeral professionals…and that’s LinkedIn.

In the last issue of the Funeral Times I covered the topic of “Why use LinkedIn as a funeral professional?” Talking about what it is, the benefits, how to stand out and connect with the right people. I recently gave a talk at the educational weekend for The British Institute of Funeral Directors and one of the questions I got asked at the end was “How do you get started?”. So how do you get started? And from there I thought I would share what key aspects to focus on? Let’s begin with how to get started on LinkedIn:

1. How To Get Started:

On your computer it’s best to sign up at www. linkedin.com and set up a free account. Also get the LinkedIn app for your phone. Once you have set up an account then you want it to look professional and so you need to optimise your personal profile.

2. Optimising Your LinkedIn Personal Profile:

Your LinkedIn profile serves as your online business card. I know that it can be thought of like an online CV but no, it offers an insight into your professional background, expertise and opens doors to where business conversations can begin eg: Repatriation partnerships etc.. There are many key areas to ensure your LinkedIn profile is a 5 Star profile. And here’s a few of the key areas to get started with:

Profile Picture:

Choose a professional headshot that reflects your personality. A warm, friendly smile can help establish trust.

Banner Image:

This is the big grey wall behind your profile picture. There are lots you can replace this with for eg: show your expertise and experience through an image of a diploma or a professional accreditation symbol.

Compelling Headline:

Craft a concise headline that captures your role, expertise and your USP.

About:

Craft a compelling About section that showcases your experience.

Experience and Education: Provide detailed information about your professional experience. Include relevant education and certifications that showcase your expertise.

Skills and Endorsements:

List skills that are relevant to your role as a Funeral professional. Encourage colleagues and connections to endorse your skills to enhance credibility.

Active Posting:

This is an excellent way to establish your expertise. This will also attract relevant connections and expand your network. For eg: posting industry insights, personal stories, educational resources, event updates etc…

3. Building a Robust Network on LinkedIn:

Expanding your “funeral industry only” related network on LinkedIn is essential for professional growth. It increases your industry connections with “people who you can help and who can help you”. Do this especially before, during and after events with:

Industry Professionals: Connect with fellow funeral directors and funeral service providers. Professionals from related fields such as grief counselling, hospice care etc...

Funeral Suppliers:

Connect with suppliers who offer products and services tailored to the funeral industry. Valuable for recommendations or exploring new partnerships.

Industry Associations and Organisations:

Engaging with these on LinkedIn can provide access to many valuable resources, industry events, new/specialised training and opportunities.

Thought Leaders and Influencers:

Engaging with their content and participating in discussions can help you stay updated on latest trends. And open doors for you to connect with them.

4.Some tips to foster meaningful connections:

Sending Linkedin Requests:

Only connect with industry related professionals. And don’t just hit the “connect” button. Send a personalised/special message with it. This shows your sincerity and increases the likelihood of acceptance.

Offer Support and Collaboration:

LinkedIn is a platform for building relationships. So be proactive in supporting and collaborating with your connections. For eg: share their content, congratulate them on professional achievements etc... This helps foster long-term connections and potential collaborations.

Seek Recommendations:

Recommendations from colleagues, clients or industry partners hold great value. Positive testimonials on your profile can build trust and credibility for potential connections.

Stay Active and Consistent:

Regularly post industry-related content, share insights and engage with others’ posts. By staying active you remain on the radar of your connections and increase the chances of meaningful interactions.

To Conclude

Attending events such as this year’s Funeral Times Trade Show Ireland presents valuable opportunities. Do bring your business cards, but why not join LinkedIn as well? Give yourself the opportunity to showcase your expertise and experience online. Think of it as your online business card and more environmentally friendly than a business card. You will save time with sending and receiving LinkedIn requests before, during and after events. And two great bonuses; you won’t have to worry about having enough business cards with you (saving money on printing costs). And you avoid the stress of keeping track of the business cards you receive. Remember as the saying goes, first impressions last. So try and optimise your LinkedIn personal profile. Share valuable content and engage on your other connections’ posts. You will establish your expertise and foster meaningful connections. All in all, embrace the power of LinkedIn as a tool for your professional and Funeral business growth. And make the most of your presence using LinkedIn everyday, not just for Funeral industry trade events. But, hint hint....

definitely use it before, during and after The Funeral Times Trade Show Ireland 2023!

If you want to get started with Linkedin or harness your current profile ahead of events you are going to, as well as make the most of Linkedin everyday, do get in touch and let’s have a non-obligatory exploration call.

Special Offer!

To celebrate my website revamp I am giving 20% off all my new and current services as “a special only Funeral Times offer” up until the end of August 2023. You can find out more on www.fitsocialmedia.ie or if you prefer why not email me at eimer@fitsocialmedia.ie

Do come find me on Linkedin and other social media channels, follow me and I will follow you back and let’s connect. “The Let’s Get Social Show” that I co-host on the radio every Friday at 2pm is now on YouTube as well as on podcast so hope you can check them out wherever you catch your podcasts. And if there’s any topic you would like us to cover, get in touch and we will mention your name and Funeral business on the show.

Hope you found this article of interest and thank you for reading. And see you at The Funeral Times Trade Show Ireland 2023 in October.

If you have any more questions, send them into Eimer and she will answer them for you, and we will publish them in our next edition. All questions submitted and published can be anonymous if you wish. You can contact Eimer by email at: eimer@fitsocialmedia.ie.

BIE News BIE News

Northern Ireland Division

Marshall MBIE of Dereck Marshall and sons Funeral Directors Dungannon, Received his Membership Certificate from the British Institute of embalmers after successful completion of his Examinations. Simon Studied with Mortuary Science Ireland under BIE Qualified tutor Cyril Gantley and Susan Moran. He completed his Written and Practical Examinations with the international Examinations board.

Simon

He was presented with his Certificate at Northern Ireland BIE Divisional meeting in O’Kanes Funeral Home Glengormley by Nicola Taggart, Northern Ireland Chairwoman of BIE. Also in Attendance was Dr Phil Gore from the English BIE Division who gave an informative talk on embalming in Ghana. Simon Works within his father’s family business in Dungannon as an Embalmer and is also available to Funeral Directors as a trade embalmer.

Deborah McConnell also received her BIE certificate recently from Richard Van Nes, National President of the BIE

Dr Phil Gore from the English BIE Division is pictured with Simon Marshall and Dereck Marshall

Nicola Taggart, Northern Ireland Chairwoman of BIE congratulates Simon on his certificate presentation

List of BIE Officers and Appointed Representatives for 2023/2024

IRISH DIVISION

Chairperson & Divisional Liaison Officer:

Niamh Cusack MBIE Ballingowan West, Villierstown, Cappoquin, Co. Waterford. Tel: 086 3744762

E: cusackembalmings@gmail.com

Vice Chairperson: Cyril Gantley MBIE

336 kildare Road Crumlin, Dublin 12 Mobile 085 7671582

E.cyril.gantley@mortuary-science.ie

Secretary & Public Relations Offcer: Jennifer Tighe MBIE

St. Patrick Street, Boyle, Co. Roscommon Tel: 086 8854333

E: Jennytighe30@yahoo.com

1st National Council Rep & National Educational Rep:

Cyril Gantley MBIE

336 Kildare Road, Crumlin, Dublin 12 Mobile: 085 7671582

E: cyril.gantley@mortuary-science.ie

2nd National Council Representative: Paul Fahy MBIE

96 Ard Alainn

Ballybane Co galway Mobile 086 1775817

E.paulie_waulie@yahoo.com

Treasurer and Professional Standards Rep:

Susan Moran MBIE

20 Cedarwood Park Newbridge, Co. Kildare Mobile 086 0619500

E.susan.moran@mortuary-science.ie

NORTHERN IRELAND DIVISION

NI Chairwoman

Mrs Nicola Taggart, MBIE 11 Alderley Crescent, Newtownabbey

BT36 7WY

Tel: 07917 220073

E: nikkiknockaning@aol.com

NI Vice Chairman: David Rice MBIE

NI Secretary: Liam Edwin Boyle, MBIE 4 Bradford Place Belfast BT8 7AW Tel: 07713 575501

E: liamboyle15@hotmail.co.uk

NI Treasurer: Andrew McMullan MBIE 22 High Street, Ballymoney Co. Antrim BT53 6AQ Tel: 028 2766 2265

E: andrew@mcmullanfunerals.com

NI Public Relations Offcer: Ciaran Bailie MBIE 27 Navan Court

Armagh Tel. 07523 477852 ciaranbailie@googlemail.com

NI Student Liaison Officer Charlie Poots MBIE

NI 1st National Council

Representative: Laurence O’Neill MBIE

98 Stewartstown Road, Belfast BT11 9JP Tel: 028 9062 0099

E: oneill8210@hotmail.com

NI 2nd National Council

Representative: Mrs Barbara Fowley, MBIE Killakee, Rockbrook Rathfarnham, Dublin 16 Telephone: 00353 (0)86 1911022

Email: barbarafowley@yahoo.ie

NI Professional Standards Rep: Pat Harley, MBIE

67 Creggan Road, L’derry BT48 9DA Tel: 07712 899137

E: pat.harley@hotmail.co.uk

NI 1st Educational Committee Representative: Stephen Shields MBIE

James Brown & Sons

300 Newtownards Road, Belfast Tel: 028 9045 1021

E: jamesbrown.belfast@funeralpartners. com

NATIONAL DIVISION

President: Richard D. Van Nes MBIE

Imm. Past National President: Bobby Hopkins-Hoggarth MBIE

1st Vice National President: Mrs Rachel Shipley MBIE

2nd Vice National President: Edward Williams-Price MBIE

National PRO & National General Secretary: Karen Caney FBIE White Meadow Cottage, Brailsford, Derby DE6 3DA

Tel: 01335 361419

Mobile: 07786 432014

E: karencaney@btinternet.com

National Treasurer: Michael Liddle FBIE

10 Yew Tree Close, Silsoe MK45 4EQ

Business Tel: 01582 490005

Home Tel: 01525 860117

E: michael@silsloe.wanadoo.co.uk

Editor: Gwen Schofield FBIE

9 Seymour Walk, Meltham, Holmfirth HD9 4BP

Home Tel: 01484 851994

Mobile: 07778 279100

E: gwen.schofield@ntlworld.co.uk

Master Fellow: David Kaye FBIE

Student Liaison Officer: David Coster MBIE

The Next Generation of Ceremonial Vehicles.

Emission-free, battery electric, and capable of meeting the needs of any ceremonial fleet.

The Etive hearse and limousine range is expertly designed without compromise. With full Type Approval, manufacturer guarantee, and 8-year battery warranty, the range benefits from Coleman Milne’s extensive engineering mastery and long-standing relationship with Ford.

Meet the Humanist Ceremonies celebrants!

In the second of a series of profiles on Humanist Ceremonies trained and accredited celebrants in Northern Ireland, we meet three of the network.

Janni is a full-time celebrant living in Belfast with her husband and two dogs. A people person who loves good conversations, she finds it a real privilege working with families to create meaningful, personal funeral ceremonies.

Dealing with difficult or sensitive situations is no problem for Janni, with her background being in mediation, facilitation and training. She has a degree in Communication and Cultural Studies and a Masters in Mediation and Conflict Intervention.

In her spare time you’ll often find Janni curled up with a book. She met her husband working in conservation and they share passions for wildlife and cooking!

Richard already had background knowledge of the funeral business through working for Funeral Times for over thirty years. A colleague connected this knowledge with Richard’s humanist principles and suggested that he train to become a humanist celebrant. He first thought it would be an interesting project as he approached retirement, but now it’s so much more for him. Richard feels it is a privilege to support families at their most stressful time and finds joy in hearing stories about their loved ones.

In his spare time Richard puts together a magazine for lovers of musical theatre and also makes stage props. He loves to sing, walk, and visit the pub with good friends.

Avril began to look into becoming a celebrant after a tragic personal situation meant she was looking for a nonreligious celebrant for the funeral of a loved one.

After a couple years of considering it, her friend’s mum challenged her to ‘just do it’. She then became a member of Humanists UK and applied for their celebrant training course. Avril’s skills as a facilitator and community builder have proved useful, as has her degree in English. These skills have helped her to make people feel at ease and then put their words into stories to remember and honour their loved ones.

All our celebrants are trained and accredited by Humanists UK, have a DBS check and insurance cover. As part of our quality assurance, there is regular peer review and a transparent complaints process for families and our professional partners.

Full contact details of all our celebrants can be found on the inside front cover of this magazine or you can search for someone close to you at https://humanists.uk/ceremonies/ find-a-celebrant/funerals/

has

Janni Knox (Dunmurry)

Richard Lavery (Belfast)

Avril Hawthorne (Newtownabbey)

Jennifer Muldowney is an event planner for memorials in the United States of America and Ireland and is currently partnered with the prestigious Frank E. Campbell - The Funeral Chapel in NYC as their in-house event planner.

Jennifer is also notable as author of Say Farewell Your Way, Tedx speaker of ‘Grief as Unique as your Heartbeat’ and host of ‘The Glam Reaper Podcast’. Check out Muldowney Memorials (.com) to learn more.

By Jennifer Muldowney

Honoring our emotions

There is a way out or a way to save ourselves from this pit of a rabbit hole and it is called ‘scheduled worry time’. The strategy has even been portrayed in popular media in the TV show ‘Shrinking’. Essentially it entails setting aside 15 minutes a day to truly immerse oneself in sadness or worry or unpleasant feelings. It is actively sitting with these horridly intense and debilitating feelings for a set period of time that may otherwise come and go throughout the day.

In the Irish language, instead of simply saying “I am sad,” we say “Tá Brón Orm” which is sadness is on me. As Pádraig Ó Tuama, the poet notes, “Something else will be on me another time, and that’s a good thing to recognize.” Having the 15 minutes of scheduled worry or grieving time means it has a place in our day, our week and it acknowledges the feeling we are feeling anyway but usually in an erratic and debilitating way. ‘Sadness is on me’ is an Irish way of acknowledging the feeling but knowing that in another time something else will be ‘on me’ so 15 minutes of letting sadness or worry ‘be on us’ but that it is temporary and only here until tomorrow’s 15 minutes.

It is not clear cut of course, grief and anxiety rarely are, but having these 15 minutes where

you can truly let go and then put it back in its worry box until the next day, allow you to healthily deal with it daily without letting it control you. There are also different types of this. For me, I allow myself certain activities for a few weeks or a month – such as not going to the gym or going to bed at 8pm if that’s what I feel my brain and body need and then once that time is up, I must resume ‘normal’ behaviors and routines. The 15 minutes will look differently to everyone and is even mentioned on the UK’s NHS website. It is a proven cognitive behavioral therapy.

So let us honor our emotions, knowing that they come and go like waves, and that they are an important part of the human experience.

I spoke on May 16 last at the Funeral Professionals Peer Support Meeting on zoom about the topic of mental health in our community.

Read more on this topic here https://www. cremationassociation.org/page/selfcare I also chatted with Barbara Kemmis of CANA about this issue on my podcast – The Glam Reaper.

Grieving is important and that includes our own. Look after yourselves.

When faced with a problem or something unpleasant, does anyone else’s mind go to worst case scenario or down a rabbit hole of ‘what if’? This can be applied to grief, but it can also apply to some of the situations we, in the funeral community, face on a daily and monthly basis. We must protect our own minds and spirits if we are to best serve others.

It’s time to think differently about direct cremation – new NAFD consumer research highlights views and opportunities

New independent consumer research, commissioned by the NAFD, has revealed significant opportunities for funeral directors when it comes to offering direct cremations, an opportunity that many are currently not taking advantage of.

The findings of the research have revealed that the number of UK adults that would consider arranging a direct cremation continues to grow, effectively now making direct cremation a mainstream funeral choice for UK adults –and, importantly, the research has revealed that most consumers believe a funeral director is the best place to turn to if they wish to arrange one.

The survey findings also support the NAFD’s long-held assertion that a funeral is as much for and about the needs of bereaved people as it is the person who has died – sounding a note of caution to marketing campaigns which have dismissed funeral services as ‘fuss’.

Deb Smith of Wordsmith Communication, who is the NAFD Communications Lead, sees the findings as a strong vote of confidence in funeral homes and urged members not to pass

up the opportunity to be recognised by their local communities as the best place to turn to arrange one.

“The results point to a huge opportunity for funeral directors to position themselves, with consumers, as the best place to arrange any kind of funeral – including an unattended one,” she said. “The evidence suggests that if your firm is not providing well-signposted access to information about direct cremations, or actively encouraging your customers to talk to you if they are interested in arranging one, you’re simply adding to the numbers of people currently turning to direct cremation-only providers to arrange a direct cremation, believing they are the only specialists in providing them.”

Following the presentation of the key findings to NAFD Conference in May, a detailed report and data tables have been sent to NAFD members. These will be accompanied by a toolkit of support and guidance, to support members in developing their services and communication.

Category A

Funeral firms in England, Wales, Northern Ireland, Scotland, the Isle of Man and the Channel Islands

Category B

UK Supplier

* Benefits for Category A members only

Business Advice & Support

• Client Will search facility *

• Repatriation Helpline *

• Interflora membership package *

• Stationery solutions

NAFD Energy Club elecoms

Advisory Service

Counselling helpline for staff/family operty Planning Advice

ety advice

PR Handbook and PR Helpline chant card services

Track Debt Recovery Service

Knowledge Sharing

• Networking opportunities through Area Federation and Local Association meetings

• Conference and Autumn General Meeting

• Member website

• Attendance at National Funeral Exhibition (discount on stand space if exhibiting)

Professional Credibility

• Code of Practice and client dispute resolution service, NAFD Resolve *

• Listing on funeral-directory.co.uk *

• Listing on supplier member search on NAFD website

• Use of logos and marketing collateral

Category C Benefits

• Discount on stand space if exhibiting at the biennial National Funeral Exhibition

• A listing in the overseas member search on the Association’s website

• Monthly copy of Funeral Director Monthly

Financial

• Fleet breakdown cover *

• Fleet insurance *

• Perfect Choice Funeral Plans *

• £5m professional indemnity insurance *

• £150k employment claims insurance

• £150k H&S prosecution insurance

• £150k HMRC & VAT investigation insurance

• Personal/commercial insurance discounts

• Royal Mail Same Day Service

Communication/Representation

• Parliamentary campaigning

• Monthly copy of Funeral Director Monthly

• Discounted advertising in Funeral Director Monthly

• Free editorial in Funeral Director Monthly

• Monthly e-newsletter

• NAFD social media

• Regular e-communication updates on important issues affecting your business

Professional Development

• NAFD qualifications

• Election to NAFD boards/committees

General

• Volvo schemes offering preferential rates *

Category C

Overseas

• Free editorial in Funeral Director Monthly

• Discounted advertising in Funeral Director Monthly

• Use of NAFD overseas member logo

• Invitation to attend the NAFD Conference and Annual General Meeting.

For more information on any of these benefits you receive as a member of the NAFD, please call: 0121 711 1343 or email: su@nafd.org.uk

NAFD Conference celebrates the culmination of President John Adams’ year in office

NAFD

Conference and Annual General Meeting 2023 was a joyful celebration of the presidential year for NAFD President John Adams, enabling members to reflect on the year gone by, tackle the big issues affecting the funeral sector and spend time with colleagues and friends from across the profession. Held in historic Stratford-upon-Avon, the sun shone on the weekend allowing guests to enjoy the beautiful surroundings of Shakespeare’s birthplace.

After welcome drinks with the President on Thursday evening, and a service of dedication, reflection, and celebration for NAFD Past Presidents and Honorary Members, NAFD Conference was opened by the Rt. Hon. Philip Dunne MP, Member of Parliament for Ludlow in Shropshire, with a service of invocation performed by the Reverend Father Kevin Dow CF, of the 30th Royal Signal Regiment, himself a qualified funeral director and part of the Dow family of Ewing Funeral Service.

Outgoing NAFD President John Adams reflected on a packed year in office, including the campaign to add bereavement education to the National Curriculum and the places it has taken him, from the BBC Breakfast sofa to Buckingham Palace. He also spoke of the warmth of welcome he had received from NAFD members: “Attending NAFD local and area meetings has allowed me to connect with members and understand the issues faced all over the UK. It has truly inspired me and has been a highlight of my duties. I have shared my pride in our profession with as many people as possible through my presidential year.”

Speaking for the first time since his appointment as NAFD chief executive officer, Andrew Judd addressed Conference on the parallels between his own experience as a funeral director with the role of the NAFD, saying to Conference: “Funeral service professionals come in all shapes and sizes and share a gifted ability to discern, empathise and connect with their clients and most importantly adapt to their individual and changing

needs. It is this same sense of inclusivity and unprejudiced care and compassion that lies at the very heart of our NAFD.

“Our progressive and forward focused vision has positioned the NAFD ahead of the curve for generations and, looking to the future, embracing the changing landscape, and meeting the ever-increasing complexities and challenges of member needs delivering funerals on a local or national scale is what makes our trade association so unique.”

During the AGM, Past President Alistair Huteson was awarded honorary membership in recognition of his outstanding service to the Association over many years. Proposing the resolution, Honorary Member Marcus Wilkinson said: “For over 25 years I have observed Alistair’s largely unsung service to the membership, we all owe him an enormous debt of gratitude for which this recognition is richly deserved.”

Across Friday and Saturday an exhibition, wrapped around the main conference room, provided opportunities for suppliers to the sector and funeral directors to make connections and explore opportunities. There were a also number of education and business debate sessions across the weekend, including one on key issues affecting the future of funeral service and a discussion on the workforce of the future, which resulted in lively and frank discussions - both on stage and from the floor - on the challenges of working in a family business, both as a family member and a nonfamily member.

Other sessions included the launch of a

brand-new one-day mortuary management workshop in partnership with NHS North Tees and Hartlepool, an introduction to business risk from Ecclesiastical Planning Group, the reveal of new research into consumer opinions about direct cremation and a session from James Gardner of Viner and Sons on the value of a positive mindset. Conference keynote speaker, former SAS soldier Ollie Ollerton, star of SAS: Who Dares Wins spoke to Conference about

his own challenging journey and the concept of ‘break points’, defining moments in life that can sow the seeds of success in the longer term.

Addressing Conference on Sunday morning, Barry Pritchard expressed his pride at becoming President for 2023-24: “I am honoured to find myself in this position and I am looking forward to the next twelve months, and to meeting as many member as possible on my travels around the UK and beyond.”

NAFD surveys members in Scotland on the future

A consultation on how the NAFD should support its members in Scotland, going forwards, was first announced at the members’ meeting in March at the Edinburgh Airport Hilton Hotel. As a member organisation, it is important that members share their views about the nature of support they want, to help shape the future offer for their businesses. A survey to support the consultation has now been sent to members, across Scotland, to gather views on the future priorities that members have for NAFD Scotland. As the country prepares to enter a new regulatory environment, with statutory regulation and licencing, the NAFD wants to make sure it offers the strongest support and best value it can.

The NAFD continues to represent the voice

of all members in Scotland on the Scottish Government licensing working group and, while the work of that group is coming to an end, the next draft of the Statutory Code of Practice will soon be published and put out for consultation.

The views and opinions from members will help us make sure we have the strongest voice to take to Government, so please get involved. Members can also get involved in shaping the future at the Second NAFD Scotland General Meeting for members in 2023, which will take place in Aberdeen on 5 October 2023. More details regarding venue, timings, agenda and speakers will be sent nearer the time but please put it in your diary and the new NAFD Scotland President Mark Shaw looks forward to welcoming members to the Granite City!

NAFD Bereavement in Education campaign secures commitment from UK Government

The NAFD’s campaign to add proactive teaching about loss and bereavement in schools took another huge step forward recently when the Government responded to the now 11,000-signature strong petition, confirming that it will now “assess whether content on bereavement is needed” when it reviews statutory Religious, Social and Health Education (RHSE) guidance. In its response, the Department for Education (DfE) also acknowledges that “experiencing

bereavement at a young age can have a significant impact on a child and that schools have a role to play to help children deal with the emotional impact of such a loss. It identifies the important role school can play in supporting children who are grieving, saying: “they are well placed to observe children dayto-day and identify those whose behaviour suggests that they may be going through a difficult time.”

The Department for Education (DfE) is

undertaking the first review of the RSHE statutory guidance this year. As part of the review process, the DfE has confirmed that it will undertake a public consultation – which will allow supporters of the campaign a further opportunity to contribute their views to the Government. The next steps for the campaign will be to meet with ministers, including Schools Minister Nick Gibb MP, to discuss the forthcoming consultation proposals as well as maintaining pressure through the media and petition.

NAFD President John Adams said: “This is a very important and positive step forward and I would like to thank everybody who has signed or shared the petition – or supported the campaign in the press or on social media.

return

We still have a long way to go, but this is a very real commitment by the DfE to consider the overwhelming evidence that talking to children, in age appropriate ways, about death and dying before they experience a loss to provide them with vital tools and resources to cope with bereavement and can engender compassion, understanding and empathy in the classroom, ensuring pupils who do suffer the loss of someone they love to feel supported and know how to ask for help.

“For me this is very simple: the RHSE curriculum ensures children are taught about how life begins, why don’t we equip them with the necessary skills and understanding to comprehend what happens and how we might feel if it ends?”

remote death registration

However,despite an attempt by Government to secure their long-term retention, through a Private Members Bill brought forward by Solihull area MP Saqib Bhatti (Meriden, Cons) for which the NAFD prepared the ground by briefing all Westminster MPs, without a suitable legislative framework, the ability to register a death remotely ended in April 2022 with the sunset of the Act in Parliament. Finally, the government’s Data Protection and Digital Information (No. 2) Bill has been published and it includes provision for deaths to be registered remotely.

The NAFD’s persistent efforts throughout 2021 and 2022 continued, both before and after the ending of remote registration, and included letter writing, briefing MPs, raising it at the AllParty Parliamentary Group in Westminster and

Cross-Party Group in the Senedd, and making the case repeatedly in the national media –as well as in private briefings with relevant ministers.

Andrew Judd, Chief Executive of the National Association of Funeral Directors, said: “This is another huge campaign success for the NAFD – our second in quick succession – after a huge amount of work by the team and an important step forward in the quest to give families choice about how they register a death in England and Wales. I know from speaking to members how important this issue is and this is a core benefit of NAFD membership, we are relentless in pursuit of outcomes that support our members in running their businesses and providing care to bereaved families.”

The choice to register deaths remotely in England and Wales was universally agreed to have been one of the positive outcomes of the Coronavirus Act 2020 and were something that the funeral profession, Government and consumers all expressed a desire to protect.

The

of

in England and Wales moves closer with new Government Bill

NAFD President appointed advisor to Child Bereavement UK

NAFD Immediate Past President John Adams has been appointed Funeral Industry Advisor to Child Bereavement UK, in recognition of the work he is doing to support grieving children through his Bereavement in Education campaign.

Child Bereavement UK, which is John’s chosen charity for his presidential year, helps families to rebuild their lives when a child grieves or when a child dies. The charity supports children and young people (up to the age of 25) when someone important to them has died or is not expected to live, and parents and the wider family when a baby or child of any age dies or is dying. The charity provides training to professionals in health and social care, education, and the voluntary and corporate sectors, equipping them to provide the best

possible care to bereaved families.

John expressed his delight at the appointment, adding: “I share with the charity a commitment to delivering the best possible support to bereaved families and children. Everyone grieves differently and there is no one-size-fits-all approach but, with compassion and empathy, it is possible to help families navigate the complex emotions and practical considerations that come with bereavement.”

Ann Chalmers, Chief Executive of Child Bereavement UK added: “We’re delighted that John has agreed to become an Advisor to Child Bereavement UK. John’s considerable experience and his support will allow us to forge closer links with funeral professionals and the families they serve, helping to rebuild lives by sharing information, expertise and insights.”

Dear Customer,

As we mark our 90th Anniversary in business I, on behalf of my colleagues in Finlay and myself, would like to thank you most sincerely for your Custom and your Support which we greatly appreciate and value. Hardwood tree enroute to the

MEET THE FINLAY TEAM

Adam Healy Assembly Team Leader

Gary Taaffe Machining Team Leader

Paddy Ward Spray-shop Team Leader

Colman Finlay Managing Director

Dara Gillespie General Manager

Dermot Sharpe Funeral Service Adviser

Niall Mahony Sales

Jake Cunningham Assistant Team Leader

Carles Mahiques Dispatch

Jimmy O’Reilly Dispatch

Justin Martin Dispatch

Alan McDonnell Factory Foreman

Aurelija Siniciene Mounting & Lining Team Leader

Eimear Grimes Administration Ashling McCabe Assistant Customer Service Manager

New Delivery - Quinn Hearse and Limousine

New Delivery - Quinn Hearse and Limousine

James Harnett, outside Harnett’s Funeral Home Abbeyfeale, Co. Limerick proudly shows off his new Passat hearse from Quinn Hearse and Limousine

Therese Kelly, Dermot and Lin Walsh, all of Walsh’s Funeral Directors, Oughterard - Killannin - Moycullen, Co. Galway pictured with their new Passat 3 door by Quinn Hearse and Limousine

Join the association that’s leading the way.

Representing and promoting the interests of over

SAIF

For

SAIF formally approved as an alternative dispute resolution body

SAIF is pleased to announce that it has been approved by the Chartered Trading Standards Institute (CTSI) as an alternative dispute resolution (ADR) body.

Itmeans that the Society has met the stringent criteria needed to resolve disputes between parties out of court, giving members and their clients the confidence that disagreements over complaints will be handled professionally and fairly.

The development also makes SAIF the first UK funeral trade association to attain this status and builds on last year’s achievement of securing ISO 9001:2015 accreditation for its quality management systems.

Members are requested to update their complaints procedure documentation to reference SAIF as the relevant ADR body.

SAIF Chief Executive Terry Tennens said the approval was a ringing endorsement of the Society’s approach to protecting funeral director clients.

He commented: “One of our core roles as a funeral association is to ensure consumers have confidence in the SAIF independent funeral director brand.

“Achieving CTSI approval as an ADR body is very much a part of that mission, and it provides

a reassuring backstop for the extremely small number of families who find themselves in dispute with their funeral director at the end of the complaints process.

“I would like to thank the team at SAIF Business Centre who have worked so hard to secure this approval - they really are the backbone of the independent funeral profession.”

Terry added that the approval reinforced the importance of choosing a funeral director in membership of a trade association with recognised consumer protection systems.

SAIF’s status as a CTSI-approved ADR body places it alongside respected organisations such as the Centre for Effective Dispute Resolution (CEDR) and Ombudsman Services.

SAIF’s quality management systems received ISO 9001:2015 standard certification from the UK Accreditation Service (UKAS) in 2022. The standard is based on a range of quality management principles including a strong customer focus, the motivation and implication of top management, a process-driven approach and continual improvement.

Saif NewS Saif NewS

Webinars

As a funeral professional continued professional development (CPD) is important as this can help you keep your skills and knowledge up to date as well as strengthen your professional credibility and help you become creative in tackling new challenges. Therefore, as a SAIF member why not register

to attend one of SAIF’s webinars - an easy way to learn and discover without having to travel. As a SAIF member you will also have access to pre-recorded webinars.

To see what is currently available to attend please visit https://saif.org.uk/events/

Co. Down GP’s digital service being extended for funeral directors across Northern Ireland

Dr Patrick Stirling from Carryduff Surgery, Co. Down, and his colleagues have recently started successfully offering a regional service for Part II (C) cremation papers to make life easier and forms quicker for funeral directors and their teams.

During Covid, it became increasingly difficult for doctors to visit funeral homes, so Dr Stirling and his team, put their new service in place. Since it’s introduction, they have been getting exceptional feedback for their ability to help - performing assessments and returning forms digitally often within 30 minutes of first contact.

The GP’s now want to offer both an inperson and region wide digital service to help with completion of Part II (C) paper for funeral directors and their teams.

The service is primarily designed to facilitate assistance by using secure endto-end encrypted video consultation and so can offer coverage across Northern Ireland. Dr Stirling says, “I’ve been a longstanding admirer of funeral directors,

embalmers and their teams for the work that they do to serve and support people and families at a really important and sensitive time.

As part of this, I understand the nature of the time pressures and tight logistics that the teams work under and so have always enjoyed helping them with a fast, efficient service to ensure preparations for the deceased and their family are not delayed”.

When the legislation changed, then reverted back in March 2023, my team and I realised there was an opportunity to help funeral directors with a digital service, where it is not possible to attend a mortuary or funeral directors premises in person.

We’ve been blown away by the positive feedback we’ve had for the service. For all those teams that have used us, we say, thank you for trusting in us”.

If you would like to find out more information on this service or to have a chat with Patrick, T: +44(0)7445 631602 or email: paddystirling.gp@gmail.com

A perspective on Funerals and Direct Cremation

By Dr Bill Webster

Things are changing in the funeral industry, as we all realise.

People today are confronted with a plethora of possibilities and choices as to what to do … or not to do … when someone dies. Many are choosing basic direct cremation often without any service at all. Others want traditional funerals, whether religious, secular or humanist. Some prefer “no fuss” celebrations of life or memorials at golf courses, event locations or in the park or backyard. There are so many options, whether mausoleum, earth, or woodland burial, or cremated ashes scattered, placed in an urn, a niche, or on the mantelpiece.

Cost is a determining factor for many. I’ve heard people say they didn’t want a funeral because it was “so expensive”. But if they did some in-depth investigating, they might find the “sticker-shock” pleasingly surprising, as you all know. (But it’s YOUR job to sell that reality!)

Let me make a bold statement! Whatever people decide about their loved one or their own farewell has more long-term significance than most realize.

While the general public will be influenced by ads and personalities speaking about the merits of whatever side of this discussion they are on, I believe that when choosing their options they will be more persuaded when they are shown and convinced of the therapeutic significance and beneficial worth of some … indeed any! … meaningful ceremony when someone dies.

1. What to Do?

When someone dies, the question becomes: “What do you do when there is nothing you can do?” The answer is to have some kind of ritual or ceremony to enable us to symbolically begin to come to terms with this unbelievable “thing” that has happened.

Put simply, a ritual is something we do when we don’t know what to do. And there are many “rituals” that can be considered, from traditional to informal; from religious or nondenominational, to secular or humanist; from celebrations of life to memorial services; from reception parties or informal get-togethers; to placing roadside memorials, releasing helium balloons or posting remembrances on Facebook or social media. A ritual is doing whatever you feel would be meaningful and appropriate to the person and the occasion.

Rituals, no matter what form they take, create an opportunity to do something to say a meaningful goodbye, helping us face the reality of what has happened and how our life is different, thus beginning the journey towards reconciliation and closure.

But if we choose to do nothing or deny ourselves the opportunity to say a meaningful goodbye, we find that our grieving process can become more complicated and we are often left with regrets that we did not do something … or anything! I see and hear it often as a counsellor.

We’ve all heard someone say, “Just leave me at the kerbside on garbage day”. But REALLY, would we want that for anyone we loved? Low cost sure, but would that help us feel good about their farewell? I know MY answer!

Ceremonies of any sort are for the living, not for the dead. I believe it is both crucial and beneficial to give people the opportunity to have their own celebration of life for loved ones to give them a significant ritual of parting.

Some may ask, “I wish we had done that. But is it too late now?” When the death actually occurred is not the most important concern, for I believe we can offer creative alternatives to

people who are searching for an opportunity to find closure in a meaningful goodbye.

It’s important to take the admittedly difficult step of discussing it with family and doing what is best for everyone. You only get one chance at it, so it is important to get it right, for the sake of the person who has died as well as for the well-being of family and friends left behind.

2. Why to Do It

The philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche wrote: “To live is to suffer; to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.”

After a significant loss, we need to begin to focus on how to make sense of what has happened in order to find ways to move forward. But how can we move forward when we feel we have not been able to say “goodbye”?

The loss of anyone loved is tough at the best of times, but even more complicated when families are unable or even unwilling to have a funeral or some ceremony to say “farewell”. Something seems incomplete, unfinished.

Suzanne lost her brother during the difficult period of the COVID pandemic. Because of necessary restrictions and regulations, the family was not able to visit him in the final months of his life, nor were they able to have a funeral service after he died.

She made a very telling comment in our group when she said: “COVID put my grief on hold. I managed to convince myself that the reason I hadn’t seen my brother was not because he had died, but because of the pandemic. It was so difficult not having a funeral … the whole thing didn’t seem real. I’d been believing he’d be coming home for over a year.”

Suzanne taught me that not having a chance to say goodbye allowed her to extend the disbelief of the reality of her loss, and even more significantly to delay her grief.

I was privileged to participate in a Celebration of Life for Suzanne’s brother two years after he died … in her Church hall, on his birthday.

Conclusion

The inability or unwillingness to share in some form of closure through ritual can and likely will complicate the grieving process. Although there are many differences, all ceremonies or rituals are designed with one common purpose; namely, to allow those whose lives were touched by the deceased to show their respect, share memories of meaningful associations, and begin the transition from life as it was to life as it now is.

That’s why I believe the decisions people make about funerals are so vitally important.

First you hurt, then you heal

Dr. Bill Webster understands grief not just in theory, but also from personal experience. In his book, “First you Hurt, Then you Heal”, Dr. Bill outlines a road map for the grief journey in a series of articles that take us through the process .

He begins with a chapter entitled “I Didn’t Plan for This” that gives people an understanding of what they may experience in the early days after a loss. The book then goes on to give us an understanding of grief, some insights into various situations of loss, and some strategies to help us work through the process.

This book will be a helpful resource for those who are going through a grief process as well as containing much relevant and practical information for those who would like to know what they can say and how they can help someone who has experienced a significant loss. It will also serve as a basic knowledge and layman’s guide for those in the helping professions such as nurses, teachers, funeral directors and those who seek to support grieving people, young and old, through their work. “First you Hurt, Then you Heal” provides practical, down to earth and effective insight into one of the most difficult topics and most misunderstood experiences of life.

First you Hurt, Then you Heal: A Road Map for the Grief Journey (Kindle Edition) is available to buy on Amazon.

And that’s all the Moos from this year!

Show. We had a fantastic time. We were delighted to raise the profile of the benefits of funding research into this debilitating disease. We would like to thank everyone who

HUMAN & PET CREMATION SYSTEMS

Best-in-class technology, performance and environmental protection from the global leader in cremation equipment

With over 70 years of experience and 5,000 installations on seven continents, Matthews is the global leader in cremation technology.

Our broad line of fuel-saving, fully automatic cremators set industry standards for efficiency, environmental protection and the productivity to help you grow your business.

Count on Matthews to help you make the most of your opportunites to serve.

MADE IN THE UK

Whether you are just starting in the cremation industry or looking to expand, Matthews offers a full range of models from low volume to large, high-volume units for both human and pet cremation.

Cremation systems that allow up to 10+ cremations a day

Simple, automatic controls for easy operation

All cremation units meet the most stringent environmental requirements

New delivery for Farrelly Funeral Directors, Dunderk, Slane, Co. Meath

Farrelly Funeral Directors, Dunderk, Slane, Co.

Meath were delighted to receive their new Mercedes Harris Hearse from Gerry McAllister of McAllister Cars, Scotland.

The Harris Hearse is designed from the ground up to ensure the vehicle not only has a headturning presence on the road but is also one of the most practical vehicles of its kind.

The specially manufactured curved side and roof glass flood the hearse with natural light and ensure the coffin and floral tributes take centre stage of any cortege.

The original Mercedes design lines have been fully adopted, creating a vehicle that looks and drives beautifully.

Peadar Farrelly receiving his new Harris Hearse from Gerry McAllister of McAllister Cars, Scotland

Peadar Farrelly is pictured with his team

Memorial tattoos and a nocturnal shock

By Mattie Lennon

As you know there is a growing trend around the world for people to have the ashes of their cremated loved ones mixed with tattoo ink and used. A spokesperson for Mr Inkwells in California told me, “We have done many cremation ashes tattoos. It’s a great way to commemorate a loved one, and it’s a fairly simple process. Tattoos are one of the rare “rituals “that we still have, plus they require not only money, but pain. This makes them more meaningful, and combining this with the ashes of loved ones is a powerful way to say ‘I love you’.“

I contacted a number of Tattooists here in Ireland, but so far it would appear that it hasn’t caught on in this country. If you are thinking about incorporating ashes into your tattoo, the first step is to contact a tattoo shop and let the artist know that you want to incorporate ashes into your tattoo. Once your appointment is set, you bring the ashes in, and then a small amount of them are mixed with the tattoo ink. Once thoroughly mixed, you are ready to be tattooed. You may be wondering if being tattooed with ashes is safe, but don’t worry. Because the cremation process happens at such high temperatures the ashes should be sterile and safe as long as they are not contaminated in transit. The best part of any tattoo, including a tattoo mixed with ashes,

is deciding what tattoo you are going to get. Initials and names are very popular, as well as portraits. But, you can get whatever reminds you of your loved one the most.

According to Alice Nicholls, specialist tattoo artist and owner of The Fine Art of Tattoo studio in Colchester, “Memorial tattoos have been around for quite a long time, but – thanks to social media and tattoos in general becoming more mainstream – more people know about them and want to get one,”

What are memorial tattoos?

Memorial tattoos were traditionally a standard design celebrating a loved one, but today they include tattoos where a tiny amount of ashes is mixed into the ink. You may also have heard them called cremation tattoos or cremation ink.

My pal Mick met an unattached female at an adult dance in Piulaphouca and accompanied to her cosy cottage in Logstown. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to get them some sandwiches. As he’s standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantle. He picks it up, and as he’s looking at it, she walks back in. He says, “What’s this?” She says, “Oh, my father’s ashes are in there.” He turns green in disgust and horror and it almost put him off his ham sandwich. “Holy F—“ says he, “Yeah”, she says, “ He’s too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray.”

Classifieds... Classifieds...

FOR SALE

FUNERAL HOME - CO. WEXFORD

50-70 funerals pa.

DUE TO OWNER RETIRING

• Town Centre Location

• 9 x Parking Spaces

• Spacious Funeral Home - 270sqm

• 2010 Mercedes Hearse

• 2015 Mondeo Hearsette

• Stock, Trolleys & Lifters included

OFFERS OVER €280K

Please email expressions of interest to Funeral Times, in confidence: sales@funeraltimes.com

Quote Ref: PO Box No. 2023/3/1

For Sale

SEAT ALHAMBRA REMOVAL VEHICLE

• CPL built deck (will sell separately) • Nov 2018

• Approx. 38000 miles

• Available Aug/Sept £POA

FOR FURTHER INFORMATION

TEL: 07740 758585

• Provincewide service available

• Experienced Drivers

For enquiries please contact James on Mob: 077 3428 3181/ Tel: 028 3884 9151 or visit: www.jamesbartonfuneralservices.co.uk or email: jamesbarton75@gmail.com