Apr/May
2014
Preventing SUMMER SLIDE FEED your family with LESS
7
WAYS TO
SNAPCHAT?
SHAKE UP YOUR PARENTING ROUTINES
Should Parents Worry about
contents Contents ON THE COVER
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AND MORE… Get Happy Happiness is less about what we have, and more about how we think about it
“A” is for Advice Teachers tell all!
Are you ready to infuse a little creativity into your day-today routine? Read on!
Socially Savvy: Should Parents Worry about Snapchat? If you’re a parent of a teen or preteen, you should be aware of this photo messaging app
Preventing Summer Slide
Is Your Child Ready for a Full Day of Kindergarten? Make the transition to fullday kindergarten exciting and anxiety-free by helping your children develop specific skills at home
When Readers Suddenly Become Reluctant
Follow these three do-at-home tricks to keep your kids on track for the next school year
What do you do when a voracious reader suddenly puts the books down?
Feed Your Family for Less
Selecting a School
Simple strategies to feed your family healthy, nutritious meals on a budget
FEATURES Teaching Children to Overcome Fear in 3 Steps Techniques for addressing the root causes of fear and shaping it for better outcomes
From Toddler to Teen: Tween Tips for Parents Navigate the tween years by giving your kids the opportunity to establish boundaries, independence, and open and honest communication
Getting the Most Out of Your Play Five ways to maximize playtime for happy kids, happy parents, and a happy home
Pretty in Pink An afternoon in the park yields a brightly-colored surprise
As more and more states allow for school of choice, it’s important to arm yourself with the questions necessary to make sure the school you choose is the best for your child
Strawberry Mice Nibbles Healthy snacks don’t have to be boring! Strap on your whiskers and get your fruit and cheese on with this cute recipe
Teething Troubles Keep your baby’s sore chompers busy with these teething tricks!
Sick Day: Activities for R and R Being sick doesn’t mean being bored! Follow our suggestions to keep your kids stimulated while they’re recovering
COVER PHOTO: DIGITAL VISION/THINKSTOCK
7 Ways to Shake Up Your Parenting Routines
Carissa Pelletier PUBLISHER & EDITOR-IN-CHIEF ASSOCIATE EDITOR
Jennifer Anderson SOCIAL CONTENT MANAGER
Prerna Malik GRAPHIC DESIGNERS
Alvaro Beleza Livia Beleza CONTRIBUTING EDITOR
Crystal Plante CONTRIBUTORS
Betsy Lulu Stephanie Keeping Sonia Singh Robyn Spodek-Schindler Tara Ross
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When I Grow Up In our house, we’ve found a curious balance between manners and oversharing; emitting gas from either end has become a source of pride (and humor). Several dozen times per day, someone announces, “Excuse me—I farted!” and laughing immediately ensues. While I’d be happier if they left off the description of the offense, I’m glad they’re still trying for a modicum of politesse. We’ve also incorporated a whole new brand of theatrics into our daily routine. As a rule, one absolutely must fall in the most dramatic way possible after jumping off the couch, and adding an affecting squeal adds credibility to one’s performance. It’s also admirable to perform a vigorous noogie as your brother attempts to eat, watch a movie, build a Lego helicopter, or read a book. I’m not sure what our kids’ teachers are going to think of their conduct, imagination, and manners, but inexplicably, I’m not in a rush to squelch their “bad” behavior. They’re excited, they’re expressing themselves, and they’re not hurting anyone. (Not yet, anyway.) In this issue, we offer you tips on how to accept and channel your children’s creative energy, methods to manage fear and anxiety (without being judgmental), and solutions that will keep your kids active and engaged with their education during time off. We want you to keep an open mind, communicate with your kids, and help them establish healthy boundaries—both on and offline.
PHOTO: CAMARIE CALLARI
Carissa Pelletier Editor-In-Chief
We Asked... What is your all-time favorite children’s book
?
One of our favorites was Where’s Waldo? – SUE PEKAREK
Goodnight Moon, it just reminds me of my childhood and my boys as babies. – LINDSEY RENUARD
– JULIE DENEEN
My favorite book when I was younger is Harry the Dirty Dog. And now I love reading it to my daughter! – JENNIFER HOLWEGER
God Gave Us You by Lisa Tawn Bergren. I read it over and over to my daughter when I was pregnant with my son so she would know just how much we loved her even though there would soon be a new baby demanding our attention. – LEONOR VIDAL CARROSQUILLA
PHOTO: DOLGACHOV/THINKSTOCK
Hmmm. My favorite book has to be The Way I Feel. So Good!!!
SummerSlide “N
“No more pencils, no more books, no more teachers’ dirty looks!” may sound like a great summer, but that attitude can lead to difficulties when school begins again in the fall. Summer slide refers to the lack of educational skills that occurs over summer vacation, and it’s a very real problem. In fact, studies show that kids who don’t practice any academic skills over summer break can lose up to three months of academic progress by the time school resumes. Children who struggle academically are at particular risk; if they left school behind their peers, backsliding over the summer months can put them even further behind.
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PREVENTING
∞∞ Read every day: Reading must be practiced every day. Magazines, comic books, newspapers, schedules, recipes, and even cereal boxes all count toward daily reading practice.
The good news is that it doesn’t take a lot of time or effort to prevent summer slide. While some experts advise hosting summer school themed units at home during the summer, the solutions are actually much easier. ∞∞ Six books for success: Reading six books over the course of the summer is all it takes to maintain reading practice and prevent regression of reading skills. The only rule is that the books need to be on the child’s
∞∞ Read aloud to your child: Children’s listening vocabulary and reading ability do not merge until eighth grade, making the practice of reading aloud to your child one of the most important things you can do to help your child be successful. Summers can be jam-packed with activities, events, opportunities, and distractions. But taking time to make reading important will help your child reap major rewards academically. Add Your Find ways to fit reading Thoughts! naturally in your day-today routine and above all, make reading fun.
PHOTO: CANDYBOXIMAGES/THINKSTOCK
reading level—not too easy, and not too hard. Libraries often host summer reading programs that offer prizes and incentives for kids to read.
Perhaps Lincoln was on to something. In fact, research shows that only 10% of a person’s happiness comes from external factors, like money and possessions. Psychologists have conducted extensive research over the past several decades seeking to find the basis of happiness. Some of the findings may surprise you:
• Twenty minutes of exercise three days per week can increase happiness levels by 10–20%. • Women are unhappiest at age 37; men at age 42. • Money does not equate happiness. In fact, the peak happiness was found in individuals making $70,000 per year. Earnings above that did not increase happiness. • Happier people have up to 50% more antibodies than unhappy people. • Children who are hugged often become happier adults.
• Only 50% of happiness comes from genes and family upbringing. • 40% of happiness comes from your outlook on life—including what you choose to do in life. • Older people are happier than younger people. Individuals aged 20–24 are sad an average of 3.4 days per month, while those age 65–74 average 2.3 days of sadness per month.
Want to increase your own happiness levels? The number one way to do so is to recognize your strengths, talents, and life’s purpose and focus on sharing those parts of yourself with others. In the words of the Dalai Add Your Lama XIV, “Happiness is Thoughts! not something readymade. It comes from your own actions.”
— Abraham Lincoln
P
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“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
PHOTO: FUSE/THINKSTOCK
GetHappy
“A”is for Advice
BY CRYSTAL PL ANTE
Q: I’ve asked my children’s teachers this question before, but I don’t know that they’ve given me an honest answer. So I’ll ask you: what is the one thing that all teachers wish parents knew?
A: That’s a loaded question, and I
imagine you’re probably right—your children’s teachers have danced around the answer. Don’t judge them too harshly, though; the reason for their deception is because the answer is neither professional nor polite. So the one thing we wish all parents knew? We are not your child’s parents. Don’t expect us to be.
Most teachers became teachers because they want to make a difference in a child’s life. There is a fine line, however, between making a difference and carrying out duties that fall within the realm of parental responsibilities. I actually shared your question with a few of my colleagues. Let’s just say your question inspired a lively discussion, the highlights of which I’ve provided below. ∞∞ I do my job at school by providing the homework I believe the child needs to learn. Please help me out by making sure the homework is completed at home. If I wanted it done at school,
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Pretty blunt, right? Let me explain.
I would have made it an in-class assignment. If it doesn’t matter to the parent, why should it matter to the student?
∞∞ I have a family of my own. Please don’t call me at home and interrupt quality time with my own children to ask me for a list of this week’s spelling words.
∞∞ While I love my students, I also pay daycare costs. I will stay after school to help a student, but I do not get paid for that extra time. My daycare provider, on the other hand, still charges me while I’m stuck at the school waiting for a parent to pick his or her child up after hours.
∞∞ Yes, your daughter has been changing into clothing you don’t approve of once she gets to school. Unless she is violating dress code, there’s not much I can do about it. You, on the other hand, have access to her closet and can confiscate whatever it is you don’t want her to wear.
∞∞ Please look at your child before you let her leave the house in the morning. I should not be the first person to notice that she is wearing sandals when the temperature is below freezing.
∞∞ Movie ratings are posted on movies for a reason. There’s nothing quite as disturbing as a six year old traumatizing his classmates with the gory details of an R-rated movie during show and tell time.
∞∞ It’s easy to identify which children have parents who talk and listen to them and which ones don’t. ∞∞ A simple bowl of cereal for breakfast can make a huge difference over the course of a day. ∞∞ I know you and your neighbor don’t like each other because your child wrote about it in his journal. Swear words are pretty easy to spell, so perhaps you should refrain from such colorful language when he’s within earshot. ∞∞ I understand you have to work; I have to work, too. I’m sorry that you don’t want to take a sick leave day to stay home with your child, but I cannot take care of a sick, contagious child and teach at the same time.
∞∞ If you want to take away privileges until your child’s grades improve, go for it. Just don’t ask me to be the one to tell him you’re doing it, and don’t imply that I asked you to do it. We, as teachers, want you to make sure your child knows he or she is loved, valued, and respected at home. Take the time to be a part of their lives and be engaged in their activities. Know who their friends are. Let them know how special they are. We might be teachers, but you are the parent. We have your child for one glorious year; you have them for a lifetime. Your influence means more than ours ever will. Want to ask any of our experts for advice? Visit our Ask a Question page to submit your dilemma!
Add Your Thoughts!
7 Shake up ways to
YOUR PARENTING ROUTINES
PHOTO: MONKEY BUSINESS IMAGES/THINKSTOCK
BY ROBYN SPODEK-SCHINDLER, LPC, LCAT, ATR-BC, NCC
1
CHANGE THE STRIKES
Parents love the 1-2-3-strikes-you’reout game. Kids? Not so much. Children typically snowball one bad behavior on top of another and it can be exhausting to dole out and receive punishments all day long. One way parents can get creative with this approach, while also reducing outbursts, is to use toys kids like. This approach not only gets their attention, but also boasts a game-like appeal. Here’s how it works. When your child misbehaves, pick a toy that your child loves and place that toy on a high, outof-reach shelf. You might say, “Uh oh. Someone isn’t behaving nicely. Your special toy is going up on the shelf. I hope more of his friends don’t join him, because [Child’s Name] will be very sad.” If your child gains composure and starts behaving after strike one, it’s up to you to decide when to let the toy out of jail. If, however, you have the unfortunate luck of making it to strike three, then you give out the tough punishment.
2
INCORPORATE A MESSY HOUR
We try so hard to stay neat, quiet, and structured during the day that we sometimes forget children have an innate desire to be messy. Your day and your child’s day will end on a much happier note if you just allow for some messiness! But remember—being messy doesn’t have to mean being out of control. You can actually create structured messiness (for all the moms and dads out there that are cringing at the thought). What activity does your child consider messy fun? Painting? Finger-painting! Clay? Sand or water play? Cooking?
Find a space in the house that you can prep easily. I typically recommend kitchens because the space is more forgiving of messes (i.e., easily washed floors, cabinets, and countertops). Have “messy time” clothing that you and your child can throw on easily. Explain the rules clearly. You might say, “Okay, now that it’s 7 p.m., it means it’s MESSY TIME! We are only allowed to be messy on the kitchen floor. If the messy play goes anywhere else, messy fun time is over.” If you are using a space that does not have a sink or clean-up spot, fill a large bowl or small bucket with soap, water, and a sponge and keep it close by. This will minimize chances of the mess leaving that room. The rest is pure fun!
3
IMPLEMENT SILLY TIME
Just like being messy, being silly is a child’s job. Oftentimes the last thing we want to deal with when we come home from a long day at work is a kid yelling, running around, and generally acting like their legs are pogo sticks. But there’s nothing that makes kids happier. Choose a specific time each day to allow for 20–40 minutes of silliness. Your child wants to put on last year’s Halloween costume and stomp around the house? Fantastic! Your child asks you to lead the marching band while they bang on pots, pans, drums, or anything that makes loud noises? Fun! The experience might be painful (or even excruciating) for that designated time period, and you may need a Tylenol by the end, but you’ll be happy that your child burned off some excess energy, had fun, and probably feels ecstatic. Even if you start out forcing
4
MAKE CLEANING FUN
“Clean your room!” is probably the least exciting group of three words a child can hear. And let’s face it: you probably need a break from cleaning, and there’s no reason your kids can’t get involved. There are several game-like ways to get your child interested in cleaning. Try a treasure hunt! Give your kid a list of items they need to find and tell them where they need to put them away. If you have more than one child, you can time it for a winner. To top off the experience, make your final inspection memorable. Create a pirate persona for yourself and
march in with your best, “Yarrgh, matey!” You can also offer some sort of small reward for the fastest treasure hunter foe extra incentive. Other cleaning creativity options can include making it a race with rules (on your mark, get set, clean!), singing songs (with dance breaks), or just offer a plain old reward. You know what your child loves! Be creative, think outside the box, and get them moving.
5
TAKE THE NEGATIVE AND TURN IT INTO A POSITIVE—WITH A TWIST
Negative words and behaviors can be taxing on a family. It may sound cliché, but the worst thing you can do when your child misbehaves is to yell and punish.
PHOTO: DEJAN RISTOVSKI/THINKSTOCK
yourself to have fun, I bet you’ll feel pretty good about being silly, too. Remember: a happier child is a happier you.
Children need discipline, but they also need your support. So how do you get creative with your support?
supporting their ability to be independent while also making your life a little easier.
Every time your child decides to be a contrarian, curses, tells you they hate you, or generally misbehaves, follow your usual course of discipline (e.g., taking away a toy or placing the child in a time out). Then, ask your child to sit at a desk or somewhere comfortable and quiet and have them create (draw, paint, or sculpt) why that word or behavior isn’t a good or nice thing to say or do. This process can create a dialogue between you and your child about right and wrong. Use this opportunity to teach the very important lesson of making good decisions.
Go do your homework. Blech! Few kids want to do their homework, and even fewer want to be harassed about it. How can you, as a parent, make it a little more exciting? Let’s start with being silly. Create a silly homework outfit to make homework sessions a little more fun. At the start of each school year, take some old fabrics, fabric paint or markers, glitter, and other miscellaneous craft items you might have, and get creating!
7
BEAT THOSE HOMEWORK BLUES
Children love the opportunity to make their own decisions. Change boring or hated orders into a choice. What’s more likely to get your kid motivated? “Put on your jacket; we’re going to Grandma’s house,” or “We have to get ready to go to Grandma’s—do you want to pick out a pair of shoes first or a jacket?” Both of these options seek to accomplish the main goal (getting ready to go to grandma’s house), but the second option makes your child think, “Which would I rather do first?” as opposed to, “I don’t want to listen to you.”
You’d also be surprised how far fun writing utensils will get you. Does your kid have a favorite color? Get permission from your child’s teacher to use special pens to complete their homework. You can incorporate choice here, too. Give your child the option to do their homework while you’re cooking dinner, or allow them to do it afterward with your help. Alternately, for tough kids, you can frame the choice as a disciplinary action. You might say, “I know you don’t want to do your homework, but here are your choices: you can do your homework now and still have time to play video games later, or you can choose not do your homework and lose your gaming privileges until further notice.”
You can also apply this parental trickery to the dreaded bedtime routine. Instead of, “Put on your pajamas and brush your teeth—it’s time for bed!” try “Why don’t you go get your pajamas on and brush your teeth real fast so that you can decide what book I’m going to read you before bed?” By giving your child choices, you’re
Let your creative flags fly! Remember, you were a child once too, and I bet you hated rules, chores, and homework. Think back to what would have made you feel better Add Your and have fun with it. The Thoughts! best part is that you can’t be too creative—go crazy!
6
CHOICES
BY SONIA SINGH
PHOTO: UNCLEGENE/THINKSTOCK
Teaching Children to Overcome Fear in 3 steps
A
A few weeks ago, I sat in the driver’s seat while my son contemplated his choices. He was visibly stressed, and it was all too apparent that he was being pushed out of his comfort zone. I wondered whether he would decide to stay in the car with me or if he’d walk into the Martial Arts Studio without his uniform and risk embarrassment.
I had the option of making light of the situation by telling my son that it wasn’t a big deal and ask him to get out and go to class, but I knew better. Behind every fear is a deeper meaning. Eventually my son chose to participate in his class, largely because I followed a three-step process to help him make his decision.
Acknowledge the Fear andits Meaning Support your child rather than make him feel guilty about being afraid. Instead of focusing on the fact that my son didn’t want to participate, I helped him dig deeper to discover the real reason why he didn’t want to participate. After some discussion, we confirmed he was fearful of the attention he would receive for forgetting his uniform. We discovered that he associated the potential negative attention with the idea that he wasn’t good enough.
PHOTO: ALTRENDO IMAGES/THINKSTOCK
This scenario may sound trivial to us as adults, but I’m sure you can remember a time when you faced a similar decision and the only thing stopping you from taking action were the fear-generating thoughts in your head.
Once you can determine the source of the fear, the next step is to ask whether the source is true. My son and I explored whether forgetting his uniform meant he wasn’t a good boy. When we determined it wasn’t true, I saw his body relax almost instantaneously. I encouraged him explore another perspective, one that had nothing to do with whether or not he was “good enough.” Why would kids laugh at him participating without a uniform? After some thought, he came to the conclusion that the kids could be laughing simply because it was a funny situation. They wouldn’t necessarily be laughing at him. After a few moments, even he started laughing out loud. He decided that the whole experience would be a funny story to share with friends!
Prepare for the Worst-case Scenario
Preparing for the worst-case scenario takes the pressure off while giving you
a sense of control. My son and I took a few minutes to prepare for the worstcase scenario by coming up with a few strategies to deal with his insecurity. • He could walk into the studio with confidence and a smile • He could make a comment that he forgot his uniform rather than wait for someone else to notice and react • He could gently laugh at himself • He could to choose to welcome a few smiles and giggles from peers Changing perspectives and breaking down the fear reduced the overwhelming feelings associated with the fear he was experiencing. In the end, my son participated in class and was proud of himself for facing his fears head-on. Even fear can present an excellent opportunity for selfawareness and personal Add Your growth!
Thoughts!
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Take the Truth Test
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IS YOUR CHILD READY FOR A FULL DAY OF
Kindergarten?
Full-day kindergarten is a big step for kids and parents alike. New friends, new ideas, and new rules can make for long days, but kindergarten can also provide a wealth of fun, learning opportunities. Parents can help make this important transition to full-day kindergarten easier with a little help at home. Listening Skills Listening skills are very important for kindergarteners. Not only do they need to listen to instructions from their teacher, but also from all the important adults in the building (like the nurse or playground supervisor). Following directions is equally important. Completing tasks when asked and following classroom routines and schedules are necessary to stay on track with the teacher and classmates. To encourage listening skills, try playing a clapping game, going on a “sound walk,” or asking questions. Self-Sufficiency Even with small class sizes, the teacher’s attention will still be divided. This means that children need to have a basic level of self-sufficiency. Aside from shoe tying, the child should be able to get dressed by him or herself. This skillset includes putting on a coat, hat, and gloves or mittens—a teacher’s preference on a child’s ability to zip or button a coat independently varies. He or she should also be able to independently complete bathroom tasks, like wiping and washing
hands. Although often overlooked, a child should also be able to eat an entire meal while remaining seated at a table. School lunchtimes are notoriously short, so eating a meal without getting up is essential. While children are not expected to be perfect, they should have a basic understanding of taking care of their belongings. They need a certain level of responsibility as it pertains to remembering their backpacks, having supplies and materials, and completing homework. Parents should work these responsibilities into the daily routine during the first few weeks of school. Try practicing dressing dolls and toy or using a sticker chart to reward responsible behavior. Cognitive Readiness Teachers want children who are ready to learn, and beginning kindergarteners should at least be familiar with letters and numbers to twenty. They should show signs of reading readiness, such as understanding how to hold a book, turn pages, and recognize environmental print (i.e., the McDonalds sign or the Coca-Cola logo). Perhaps the most important sign of cognitive readiness is an eagerness to learn. Excitement and curiosity should overshadow fear of the unknown. Try making up stories together, finding letters and numbers in the environment, and reading to your child every day.
Social Skills
a time for children to learn and improve social skills through daily interaction with classmates. The abilities to successfully share and take turns are obviously desirable traits, as well as skills like teamwork and appropriate interactions (no one wants to be friends with the kid who knocks others down with chest bumps). Empathy, which means caring for others, should also be developed. Children who haven’t been away from parents for any length of time should “practice” by spending a fun day away from Mom and Dad prior to the first day of kindergarten.
Some children have been around others their entire lives as a direct result of daycare. Others have limited exposure to other children. Kindergarten provides
Try arranging play dates, practicing taking turns by playing a board game, or encouraging children to “use their words” when they are frustrated or upset.
Certain skills that adults take for granted are actually learned skills that kindergarteners need to develop. Holding a pencil, coloring with crayons, cutting with scissors, and pulling stickers off a sheet are all the result of fine motor skills, which will later be necessary to help a child learn to write. To help develop these skills, make simple craft projects with scissors, crayons, or stickers, play with stringing beads or sewing cards, or color pictures.
PHOTO: MIKANAKA/THINKSTOCK
Physical Readiness
Kindergarten is hard work, and children need proper rest in order to learn. After school activities are fun and can inspire additional learning outside the school day, but too many activities can put stress on a kid and impede learning. Limit after school activities so that kids can get the rest they need. Kids of kindergarten age need 10–12 hours of sleep each night, so plan your bedtimes accordingly. In addition, even though breakfast is hailed as the most important meal of the day, a disturbing number of kids arrive at school each day without it. Of those who do eat a morning meal, many are running on the simple carbs of sugar-laden breakfast cereals. Eating breakfast is important to learning, but
eating a nutritious breakfast is even more important. To keep your children happy and healthy, try engaging them in one or two extracurricular activities, set and adhere to a regular bedtime, and make sure they start each day with a healthy breakfast. Kindergarten teachers recognize that not every child who enters the classroom will be developed in every skill area, and that’s OK. It’s not a big deal if he or she falls short in a couple of areas. The whole purpose of school is for children to learn what they need to know. Add Your Do what you can to Thoughts! promote a solid start and help the teacher do the rest!
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Other considerations
FROM TODDLER TO TEEN:
Tween Tips for Parents BY CRYSTAL PL ANTE
A
Encourage independence but enforce boundaries Tweens are no longer babies who require constant supervision. They crave the freedom to try new things, like sleeping over at a friend’s house or hanging out at the mall. Parents who
don’t offer that kind of freedom may be setting themselves up for a child who sneaks around to try and gain the independence they seek. That doesn’t mean, however, that your child should get anything and everything they desire. All kids need boundaries that are clearly defined and consistently enforced. So
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Ah, the tween years, that unique time between the cute antics of toddlerhood and the cringe-worthy rebelliousness of the teenage years. Although the tween years can seem like a time to coast, the tween years actually set the stage for rules and expectations later on. Getting it right while your child is between 8 to 12 years old may create a smoother ride later on.
swallow that “no” when your child asks for more freedom, and find a way to compromise so you both win. Let them go to the sleepover, but tell them to call if they need you. Go to the mall but hang back. Give your child an opportunity to try, and sometimes even fail, on his or her own. Be there to cheer them on or help pick up the pieces, but trust them enough to let them try for themselves as long as they stay within limits that are acceptable to you as a parent.
Privacy vs. secrecy Any parent who’s ever been walked in on in the bathroom (and who hasn’t?) knows that privacy is a good thing. Tweens are discovering the benefits of privacy and use it to their advantage. Friends become an ever more important part of a tween’s life, and they use these friendships to share private thoughts and ideas that adults may find silly or unimportant. Secrecy, on the other hand, often connotes shame, embarrassment, or something to hide, and that’s never OK. Foster privacy by giving your tween the space he or she needs, but let your child know that he or she can talk to you openly about anything. More importantly, follow through on that promise by listening whenever he or she talks. Listening to the little things lets your child know that you’ll be there when it’s time to talk about the big things. It’s also a good idea to take some of the pressure off your child by suggesting alternate adults, like an aunt, uncle, or close family friend, who would be happy to listen to your child if there’s ever a topic they don’t feel comfortable talking to you about.
Monitor friendship Friends are a big part of a kid’s life and increase in value as the child moves from the tween years to full-blown teenagerhood. Because friends exert such a huge influence over one another, it’s important to monitor your child’s friendships. Know who their friends are, their interests, and their parents. And what happens if your child chooses a friend you’re less than impressed with? The absolute worst thing to do is forbid him or her from hanging out with the child. That makes the friendship a kind of forbidden fruit that makes it all the more tempting. A better way to handle the situation is to talk, talk, and talk some more about appropriate choices and behavior and only allow your child to spend time with the friend when you’re around. Your child will either figure out that it’s not a worthwhile situation or your influence might wear off on the friend.
Monitor media Gone are the days where a parent can assume that whatever is on the television or radio is appropriate for children of all ages, and the same goes for movies and the internet. You can’t lock them in a room and take away all media, particularly in an age where fluency in technology is a basic job requirement. You can, however, monitor what they’re doing. Facebook’s policy states that users should be 13 years old or older; in reality, many parents allow their children to have a Facebook account when they’re 8 or 9. Give them the privacy they need, but don’t be afraid to check in on what they’re doing, saying, and watching. Know their passwords and check their
accounts regularly. Be honest with them and tell them that you’re monitoring their texts, tweets, posts, and browser history. Stay on top of it and take action when needed, either with a blocker program or by taking away privileges. You control the media; don’t let it control you.
Don’t assume they’re too young Eight years old seems awfully young for body image problems, and anorexia and bulimia seem like teenage or young adult problems. The sobering truth is that these issues often develop during the tween years. Ditto with drug and alcohol experimentation. Some older tweens even experiment with sex. Don’t deceive yourself by thinking your child is too young. Be open, be honest, and be clear about expectations. But also take heart in the fact that you as a parent have an enormous amount of control. Research shows again and again that children with high self-esteems are less vulnerable to body image problems and peer pressure. Use that knowledge to your advantage and foster their self-esteem with earned praise and respect. Simple things like eating meals together as a family may seem mundane but become an effective way to combat low self-esteem and eating disorders.
Honesty about sex The birds and the bees isn’t a one and done kind of discussion. Granted it’s an awkward conversation to have, but the truth is that your child will learn about it one way or another. Would you rather they hear it from you or by eavesdropping on a middle schooler?
Or from TV? Maybe from a celebrity interview? Keep an open and ongoing dialogue and let them know that nothing they ask is silly or embarrassing. They may balk or blush, but they’ll also get the message that you understand and that you want them to make responsible choices.
Stay current There are three kinds of parents: those who have no clue about tween culture, those who dive so deeply into tween culture that it’s hard to separate child from adult, and those who know enough to be able to carry on a conversation without humiliating their child. Strive to be the third parent. Know who’s relevant in your child’s life whether it’s a singer, celebrity, or sports star. Build a working knowledge so you can interact, but don’t go overboard. Just because it’s their fascination doesn’t mean you need to make it yours.
Enjoy the time you have The tween years are fleeting but fun. A diaper bag is no longer necessary, but your existence hasn’t become cause for embarrassment yet. There are harmless infatuations and crushes, but it’s generally more innocent than dating. Your child is old enough to help out around the house but not too old to sneak in an extra cuddle. Take advantage of the curiosity and independence that Add Your come with the tween Thoughts! years. It will make the transition to the teenage years smoother.
Should Parents Worry about Snapchat? BY TARA ROSS, PHD
PHOTO: NENSURIA/ KEVIN LLEWELLYN/THINKSTOCK
SOCIALLY SAVVY:
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If you interact with teenagers, you’ve probably heard of Snapchat. And, if you’re a parent of said teenagers, you should learn about it—Snapchat’s biggest user demographic is between 13 and 23 years old. Snapchat is a social media tool that allows the user to send a picture, video, or text (known as a “snap”) to their followers. Senders set the amount of time that the image can be viewed—from one to ten seconds—and after that point, the image is deleted from the viewers’ devices. In theory, this seems like a positive step for privacy, and can help alleviate parents’ concerns over images of their children spreading around the Internet.
Why Does Snapchat Appeal to Teens? Why does this method of communication appeal to your child? Hopefully, you’ve taught your kids the essential safety lessons about online privacy, and are at least aware that certain images should not be shared. However, this is contrary to what kids want to do. They want to be in the moment, sharing their feelings online for all their friends to see. Snapchat also relieves the need for the perfectly framed “selfie”; kids can take a quirky picture of themselves believing that their friends will only be able to view it for a few seconds.
Privacy Concerns and the Myth of the Deleted Snap There are, however, broader concerns for parents. Viewers can grab a screenshot when the snap arrives, forever storing and sharing it. Because Snapchat delivers a text message to recipients announcing
they have a snap to view, recipients can prepare to grab the image or video for storage. In December 2013, Snapchat added a replay feature with its operating system update, allowing users to replay one image from the last 24 hours. Only one replay per day is currently possible with this feature. Snapchat also explains on its privacy page that the company temporarily collects and stores the snaps until all followers have viewed the snap. Law enforcement has issued subpoenas requiring Snapchat to turn over unopened snaps relevant to a case. In addition, a forensic software company admitted to being able to recover snaps taken on Android, and was working on that same ability with iOS devices. Certainly there is little stopping a thirdparty app from providing consumers with the means to store snaps. Therefore, it seems that despite what teens think, Snapchat does not have the ephemeral effect they believe it does. What is a parent to do?
Six Steps for Social Media Safety FIRST, realize that Snapchat is just a tool that cannot, by itself, turn your kid into a sexter. Any social media platform can be a mechanism that amplifies what your teen wants to share. Talking with your teen about what is and isn’t appropriate is a crucial first step. SECOND, prohibiting your child from using Snapchat does not alleviate the problem of privacy concerns. If your child’s friends use it—and with Snapchat sending 350 million photos every day, they probably do—they can easily snap a photo of your child for use.
THIRD, become socially savvy. Do not cede this ground to your child because you think it’s something for teens. Social media is not complicated; it just seems that way sometimes because each platform is constantly being updated and reinvented. If you need to get started on social media, Amazon has many eBooks that you can instantly download to learn more. My book, Daily Actions for Social Media Mastery, will provide daily steps for you to take to become socially savvy. Stay one step ahead of your teen. FOURTH, make your child socially savvy. Your child absolutely needs to learn how to use social media effectively because as they grow up, they will most likely be networking for the best internships, jobs, and even life partners that way. Preventing your teen from using social media does not prevent worrisome behavior. Talk to your children! FIFTH, monitor your teen’s social media activity. I used to joke with my now-16 year old that I believed in the right to privacy once he reached 18. In reality, I practice the art of amused parent. We joke about some of the snaps he sends (all appropriate, but goofy), and I try not to act like a stodgy worrywart. I admit that finding that balance can be tricky, and each parent will find his or her own way. The important part is to work at it rather than shut down social media for your teen. Having a policy of open communication (without judgment) goes a long way in showing your kids that there’s a healthy balance between what should be public and what should be private.
SIXTH, establish a few golden rules (or “guidelines” if you prefer) about social media. GOLDEN RULE 1: Explain that nothing shared is ever private or completely deleted. Therefore, they should never send a snap that they wouldn’t want you or a future employer finding. Because we do not develop the skill to think in terms of long-term benefits until we are about 25, you may just need to tell your child that this is one rule that must be followed, and can have serious consequences if they do not. GOLDEN RULE 2: Explain that they should never share an image of another person without that person’s consent. Obviously people who post stories on Facebook about themselves are inviting shares, but snaps assume a level of privacy. They should also learn that sharing embarrassing images is never cool. Reinforce this with a role reversal by asking them how they would feel if others did that to them. Social media requires an awareness of societal norms and trends that we may not have realized we’d need to follow as our kids grow up. I encourage you to embrace, rather than shut out, social media. While Snapchat might not be your platform of choice, it’s still important to understand. Establish an open communication policy with your child. In the long run, you may find that social media gives you great ways to share memories with your kids as they become Add Your Thoughts! busy teens.
PHOTO: CATHY YEULET/THINKSTOCK
Feed Your Family for Less
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A perfect storm of droughts across much of the country combined with increased fuel costs have led to noticeable price increases at the grocery store. And while a person has to eat, feeding a family on a budget can be rather challenging. Tactics abound, but some are tried and true and recommended by financial experts, home economists, and gourmet chefs.
Have a plan: Never, repeat never,
go to the grocery store unprepared. Shopping without a list leads to impulse buying and actually boosts spending by 50% or more. Instead, take time to do a quick inventory of products in the pantry, plan snacks and meals, and write down everything that needs purchased before heading to the store. Once in the store, stick to the list and be confident that it includes everything necessary. Remember, the fewer trips to the store, the more money you save.
shelf; the older produce is in front so it sells first. Compare prices: Sometimes buying in bulk is cheaper. Other times, buying smaller packages costs less. Look at the unit pricing or use the calculator on your phone and do the math to find out which option will save you the most money.
Do it yourself: Convenience foods, like shredded cheese, charge for the convenience. Block cheese is usually cheaper than pre-shredded, and whole heads of lettuce cost less than pre-packaged salad mix (and often last longer in the fridge). You can even make your own tortilla chips by slicing and baking corn or flour tortillas— the same goes for potato chips! Forgo the convenience and do it yourself.
Shop alone: People buy more when
accompanied by others, and men and children are seduced more by store displays than women. Go it Shop the perimeter: Produce, dairy, alone to save money, and don’t meats, and baked goods are almost shop hungry. always arranged on the outside aisles. Work from the outside in Try coupons: The TLC show Extreme to fill the cart with nutrient-dense Couponing gave many people a foods before venturing into the fresh perspective on the possibilities aisles of processed foods. Along of coupon use. Some strategy is the same lines, try to buy produce necessary to save the big bucks. that is in season, on sale, and Check out coupon websites for tips. locally grown, as this will reduce the overall cost. For the freshest Think outside the store: Grocery produce, reach to the back of the stores aren’t the only places to buy
Invest in a good cookbook:
More often than not, cooking from scratch is cheaper, healthier, and tastier than boxed or packaged
meals. Find a simple cookbook like the plaid-covered Better Homes and Gardens New Cookbook, a Betty Crocker cookbook, or, for those with little confidence, a cookbook geared toward kids. An even more frugal option? Check out the cookbook from the library or buy one at a Add Your thrift store before Thoughts! committing to one that may not be used.
PHOTO: LDPROD/THINKSTOCK
food. Buying direct from a farm can guarantee both freshness and lower prices. Planting a garden or raising food in small containers can also provide good, cheap eats. Some states have food cooperatives that exchange volunteer hours for reduced-price food (like Prairie Land Food).
pink PRETTY IN BY BETSY LULU
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A wooden gate opened to the sound of a young girl’s giggle. “Mommy, I want to fly my new kite today.” Molly’s big blue eyes gazed up into her mother’s. She tugged at Anna’s soft hands. “You can fly it in the park, dear,” Anna replied. They walked to the park, a grassy hill that overlooked a lake. Molly clutched her new kite proudly, grinning at the sound of a bird chirping merrily. When she looked up into the sky, following the source of the sound, she couldn’t believe her own eyes. “Momma! Look at the birdie! It’s pink!” In disbelief, they watched the pink bird land in a small patch of grass, hopping and trying to spread its wings. “I feel scared,” Molly admitted, watching the bird struggle. “Let’s get a closer look,” Anna said, securely wrapping an arm around her daughter. Together they edged toward the bird. Were they dreaming? The bird was bright pink, and if the failed attempts at flight were any indication, it was injured, too. It flapped madly, moving around in circles. “Is it going to be OK, Momma?” Molly asked. Anna let go of Molly and knelt next to the bird. Gingerly, she reached out and picked up the distressed bird, trying to
PHOTO: VAGENGEYM ELENA/THINKSTOCK
{FICTION}
“I love her!” Molly shrieked, get a feel for what might be wrong with the wings. Something definitely didn’t feel right—the bird was crusty all over. “I love her!” Molly shrieked, overcoming her initial worries. The bird managed to fly out of Anna’s hands that instant.
overcoming her initial worries. The bird managed to fly out of Anna’s hands that instant.
“Molly!” Anna admonished. “Be careful.” Molly’s eyes danced with excitement as she twirled around her mother. Anna took Molly’s hand and guided her toward the end of the field. A glimmer of fresh water caught Molly’s eye. “Look Momma, more pink.” Molly pointed to a puddle. The surface shimmered with something pink. Anna bent to examine the puddle. Sure enough, it looked like a splotch of pink paint. After a moment of curious contemplation, she remembered that the area was notorious for teenage pranks, and—even worse—paintball wars. Anna recalled the crusty coating on the bird. Paint. The little bird had likely fallen prey to a game that day. “Don’t touch the water, Molly,” Anna smiled, brushing kite tails out of the water. “I want to put my hand in it,” Molly grinned, dipping the kite perilously close to the paint-splotched puddle. “No, dear,” Anna replied firmly, giving her daughter a quick hug. “We don’t want to get paint everywhere.”
Anna explained to Molly that the bird probably wasn’t really pink—it’d just been inadvertently hit during a paintball game. “It’s not the boys’ fault, Molly. They probably didn’t know what they were shooting at. Pinky was just in the wrong place at the wrong time today.” “Jake would never shoot a birdie,” Molly agreed, thinking of her older brother. “That’s why I love him.” “Exactly,” Anna agreed, squeezing Molly’s hand. “Accidents happen.” Anna led Molly past the puddle, back through the park, watching the sun dip below the horizon. The sky had turned into a Add Your colorful burst of pink. In Thoughts! Anna’s heart she knew it was a day her little Molly would never forget.
PHOTO: JOSE LOUIS PELAEZ INC/THINKSTOCK
When Readers Suddenly Become
RELUCTANT M BY CRYSTAL PL ANTE
Maybe this scene sounds familiar: your child, always a willing reader, suddenly refuses to pick up a book. You know that there are no learning difficulties, so why is your child suddenly resistant to reading? Even the best readers go through occasional slumps, and often a little parent or teacher intervention can help your child rediscover the joy of reading.
Check their vision
Unrealistic expectations
Children who have previously been prolific readers may become reluctant if they begin experiencing vision problems. Watch the child carefully when reading: does the child hold the book too closely, at a distance, or squint to make out the words? Do his eyes cross when reading? If a child is not reading because of vision problems, a professional eye exam may be in order.
What books is the child reading? Perhaps he has become reluctant because the reading material is either boring or difficult. Reading material that is too easy does not challenge a child’s abilities or mind enough to maintain interest. On the other hand, some children choose reading material that is beyond their capabilities in an effort to appear more grown up or to keep up with older students or siblings. Steer your child to a more appropriate reading choice that best reflects his reading interests and abilities.
Look for signs of stress If your child is feeling an undue amount of stress, they may “shut down” and appear to rebel against reading. Reading is a strenuous task, especially for young readers, so avoiding the act is one way to conserve energy. If the child feels overextended due to a hectic schedule, family conflicts, or even problems with friends, she may opt for more low-key and less active pursuits, like an increase in television viewing. In these cases, it may be necessary for parents to rearrange the schedule or make a concerted effort to help the child avoid stress while steering her back toward reading as a source of pleasure.
Peer pressure Parents and teachers know that friends influence children’s behavior. If a friend is being less than supportive of your child’s reading, either through comments or actions, your child may feel pressured to give up reading to fit in. If that’s the case, gentle words of encouragement and support are necessary. Reassure your child that reading is a meaningful interest and that friends should not dictate what activities others enjoy.
An uninspired selection of choices How limited are the children’s book choices? Do they reflect the child’s interests? If not, a change in the selection may be appropriate. Offering children a wide variety of options across a range of reading levels can help reluctant readers find a book in which they may be interested. It is especially beneficial to steer a reluctant reader towards a series of books. Once they find enjoyment in the first book, they will be motivated to reach for the second book in the series. As parents and teachers, it can be alarming when a solid reader suddenly becomes reluctant. It is important to remember that it is not uncommon. Helping the reader overcome Add Your whatever obstacles he Thoughts! is facing will allow the child to rediscover the joy of reading.
Your Play BY ROBYN SPODEK-SCHINDLER, LPC, LCAT, ATR-BC, NCC
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Parents and caregivers often break the first and most important rule of play: the child is always the director! In the realm of play, parents are simply actors hired to play a scene. Keep the following tips in mind, and you just might get invited back.
PHOTO: ROBYN SPODEK-SCHINDLER
GETTING THE MOST OUT OF
A Circle is Never a Circle As an art therapist, I love watching a child draw or create something and waiting for them to tell me what they are creating. Parents and caregivers sometimes have a hard time waiting for that moment. “Oh, is that a cat?” “NO! That’s not a cat, that’s the baby!” By voicing your ideas first, you’re unwittingly influencing your child’s creation, and you may disappoint your child if you guess incorrectly. Don’t assume you know what your child is making. The best part of their creation is listening to their imaginations explain their masterpieces. Listen more while you play, and watch what happens.
Directors Have Rights We never like to encourage negative or aggressive play, but if we go back to the idea that a child playing is a child communicating, then communication should (by necessity) include both positive and negative elements. When we communicate, it’s generally when we have an idea, thought, or emotion that we need to express. This communication process is equally important to a child. While your first instinct might be to say, “Stop!” or, “That’s not nice, we don’t play that way,” when your child is aggressive, we should try to curb that behavior. If your child is expressing aggressive thoughts or actions in their play (i.e., saying things like, “I’m going to shoot the bad guy”; “The boy got smacked because he was bad”; or even using foul language) let them play it out but make a mental note to remember the incident. Try not to disrupt the actual play.
Instead, when the play is complete, sit down with your child and talk to them about it. “You know when you were shooting the bad guy? It made mommy wonder why that was happening because she does not like guns. Where did you learn about shooting bad guys? What does that mean to you?” Children often repeat things they hear at school or at home, or from TV or video games. If an aggressive feeling surfaces but is not a repeated action, then perhaps the child is just trying to express anger or frustration. Allow your child to play out his or her feelings, but make sure you talk about what happened later. By giving your child an avenue to vent while explaining what’s considered right and wrong outside of play, you’re simultaneously validating your child’s experiences while reserving your right to parent.
Who’s the Boss? Let your children be in charge of their own play, but use caution—you still need to start and end play with a review of the rules. “You get to be in charge while we’re playing, but I’m in charge whenever I call a timeout.” I like using timeout (or “Freeze!” for small children) because it is a concept kids easily latch on to. Explain what the timeout or freeze means and use it sparingly. For example, if your child uses a bad word excessively, breaks character, or puts hands on you or anyone else, it’s probably time for a timeout. At the end of playtime, I like to quiz kids on who’s in charge no, and who needs to follow rules. “Well that was some great playing! Now that we’re finished, who is in charge? Who needs
to follow rules? What happens if you don’t follow the rules?”
PHOTO: ROBYN SPODEK-SCHINDLER
Review concepts like these and have the child explain it back to you to make sure that he or she fully understands.
Give Choices Are you guilty of choosing what type of play your child participates in? Admit it— it happens. If you worry about your child taking out an excessive amount of toys and failing to clean up properly, or you just want to limit their use of certain toys, try offering them choices. For example, if you have thirty minutes before dinner and need to keep the children occupied so that you can finish cooking, offer play choices that are easy to clean up: drawing, playing with the dollhouse, or using playdough. If you’re concerned about noise, try suggesting that your child work on a puzzle, read some books, or color. By giving your child choices, you’re helping your child to learn how to make decisions, and you’re promoting independent play with positive limits. Even better, you’re giving them options without plunking them in front of the TV, a fallback that we’re all guilty of sometimes. In addition, you’re not forcing them to do something, which helps avoid arguments or meltdowns. The best choice, of course, is to allow your child to pick whatever he or she would like to do in that moment—something that’s not always feasible. Be realistic and provide alternatives.
Don’t Play If You Aren’t Going to Have Fun Listen—your child knows what’s up. Children have a veritable sixth sense when it comes to who is cool, down to earth, and willing to play with them openly and honestly. If you’re having a bad day, you’re in a rotten mood, or you’re just not feeling the idea of rolling around on the carpet and making weird animal noises, don’t. You’re better of gently letting your child down (with a promise of play later) rather than faking your way through it. If you’re inattentive or disgruntled during play, your child may not want to play with you in the future. If you do have to disappoint with the not-right-now speech, try and remember to go back sometime later and offer some real, enthusiastic Add Your Thoughts! play time. That play will be well worth the wait for both you and your child.
PHOTO: DEJAN RISTOVSKI/THINKSTOCK
Selecting a school
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Choosing a school for your child can be intimidating. Make a good decision and opportunities could open up. Choose the wrong school and everyone, including you as parents, will be miserable. Obviously you want to visit the potential school before making a choice, but then what? Thankfully, there are some key questions you should ask to help make the decision easier.
1 2 3 4 5
What do we want in a school? This question should guide your decisionmaking process. What will best meet your child’s needs? What kind of learner is she? In which environment—structured or flexible, independent, or collaborative— does your child learn best? What is the look and feel of the school? Is it warm and inviting or cold and impersonal? Do students and teachers seem comfortable? Do they seem to enjoy being there? How old are the facilities, and how well do they appear to be maintained?
How many students are in each class? Smaller class sizes often mean that students have greater access to individualized attention and support. If class sizes are large, ask the administration how their teachers are able to effectively manage so many kids. They may have a full-time aide, team-teach, or work in small groups. What are the school’s policies? Ask about homework, discipline, grading, assessment, special services, extracurricular activities, and parental involvement.
Beyond these questions, be sure to visit locations such as the library, technology center, gym, lunchroom, and playground. The condition of these areas will give you a good feel for the school’s priorities and capacity. It’s also important to ask for copies of the student handbook, class schedules, and newsletters. These materials, combined with the tour and answers to your questions, should help you Add Your Thoughts! make the most informed decision about your child’s education.
PHOTO: BANANASTOCK/THINKSTOCK
Does the school have a particular philosophy or approach? Some do, others don’t. It’s good to know, though, and can help you decide if the fit is going to be right. Examples of teaching approaches include Waldorf, Montessori, and Reggio.
Strawberry Mice Nibbles
Are you looking for healthy food options that include some fun-factor ingredients? This strawberry mouse and cheese idea from Stephanie Keeping at Spaceships and Laser Beams is colorful, nutritious, and is sure to earn you a smile! It’s a great addition to a party dessert table, plus you can feel good about offering guests something that’s not full of added sugar. A full tray of these little mice looks amazing, but it’s also amusing to have them hiding out on other food displays. Don’t wait for a party, though, because these mice are good at home too! (Especially for those little guys who like to play with their food!)
Ingredients • • • • • • •
Crackers Swiss cheese Strawberries Mini chocolate chips (3 per mouse) 1 long black licorice string Sliced almonds (2 per mouse) Small wheels of Gouda cheese (alternately, cut a block of cheese into triangles)
Instructions Cut a slice of Swiss cheese to fit the cracker of your choice. Set aside.
PHOTO: STEPHANIE KEEPING
In the meantime, wash your strawberries and pat dry. Cut off the leaves and the bottom 1/3 of the strawberry, and insert a black licorice tail (about 1.5 times the length of the berry) into the back (the wide end) of the berry. You may need a tooth pick to poke a hole. Use the pointed ends of the chocolate chips to anchor two eyes and a nose into the berry, and add two almond slices on top for ears. Finally, arrange the berry “mouse” and a wedge of Gouda on top of the Swiss cheese cracker. Enjoy!
Add Your Thoughts!
If you can imagine a serrated knife poking its way up through your tender gums, you may be able to understand why teething can make even the happiest baby miserable. Teething can also cause a slight fever, discomfort in the ears, and chafing or rashes on the face, thanks to all the extra drool. Some parents insist that the excess drool brings on bouts of diarrhea or loose stool, while some experts insist that diarrhea is a sign of other issues. Regardless, parents want to help their little one find relief one way or another.
Pain-reducing medicine may be given with a doctor’s permission. Topical gels can numb the gums, but usually the drool washes the effectiveness right out of the mouth. Unfortunately, swallowing large amounts of numbing gel can numb the throat, leading to a weakened gag reflex, which isn’t good. As strange as it seems, chewing with those sore little gums can actually make them feel better. Chomping on a chilled teething ring or even on a parent’s (clean)
PHOTO: KASIAM/THINKSTOCK
Teething Troubles I
∞∞ A frozen washcloth: This tried and true method has been around forever, proving just how effective it is. Keep a supply in the freezer so one is always available. ∞∞ Store bought toys: They aren’t called teething rings for nothing! However, be sure to read the packaging instructions: some of them aren’t meant to go in the freezer as the liquid inside can expand, leading to breakage. ∞∞ Unusual chew toys: A toothbrush, a splinter-free wooden spoon, or even a pacifier can provide great chewing options.
∞∞ Food from the pantry: Teething biscuits like zwieback toast or zwieback crackers are classics. Breadsticks are a good choice. And if your little one is up for it, a chilled whole pickle. ∞∞ Frozen food: Frozen bananas, frozen bagels, frozen strawberries, frozen popsicles—you name it. Cold is good. It’s important to remember that as your child’s teeth break through, it will become possible for him or her to nibble off little pieces of whatever food you are offering for teething relief. This means extra vigilance is needed. Several companies sell baby safe feeds, which are basically mesh bags that hold frozen food so the bits that may make it into a baby’s mouth are small enough to prevent choking. Otherwise, you can try using a reusable cloth tea bag. Your baby may go on a feeding strike, refusing the breast, bottle, or pacifier, when the pain reaches its peak and makes the act of sucking uncomfortable. Be patient, because a hungry baby will eventually eat. Offering liquid in a beginner’s sippy cup can help, too. Whatever you do, hang in there. Soon enough those pearly whites will be peeking through and it will be on to the next great adventure: biting!
Add Your Thoughts!
PHOTO: OZGURCOSKUN/THINKSTOCK
finger can bring relief. Beyond that, there are many possibilities that a parent can keep in his or her bag of tricks:
Activities for R and R
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There’s nothing worse than a sick kiddo— except maybe a sick spouse! During each bout of sickness, there’s inevitably a span of time in which your child is too sick to do anything strenuous but feels just well enough to be bored. What do you do? Below is a list of electronic-free activities to engage the mind while allowing the body to rest and recover:
What activities do you do with your child when they’re sick? Post your ideas below!
Add Your Thoughts!
PHOTO: SOLEVNIKOLA/THINKSTOCK
Sick Day:
∞∞ READ: books, magazines, comic books, joke books, anything! ∞∞ BOARD GAMES: have a board game tournament. ∞∞ CRAZY STRAWS: have fun staying hydrated. ∞∞ COLORING BOOKS: or puzzles, activity books, or find-a-words. ∞∞ MAGNETS: give your child a cookie sheet and some magnets to create story boards. ∞∞ FLASHLIGHTS: turn off the lights and chase each other on the ceiling. ∞∞ ETCH A SKETCH OR DOODLE BOARD: endless fun! ∞∞ ORIGAMI: grab some paper and find simple folding instructions online. ∞∞ CARD GAMES: revive some card favorites like Go Fish, Crazy Eights, Solitaire, or even Blackjack. ∞∞ PAPER DOLLS: a classic! ∞∞ CRAFTS: gather up any crafting supplies you have (pipe cleaners, beads, pom-poms, stickers, paper, glue) and go wild. ∞∞ PLAY-DOH: keep the soft stuff bed friendly by giving it to your kid in a cake pan for a self-contained play area. ∞∞ PUZZLES: set up a card table next to the bed or spread out the pieces on another smooth surface. ∞∞ MODELS: build models (planes, cars, houses, or planets).
PHOTO: ALLIANCE/THINKSTOCK
“Once upon a time, I told my daughter about the world I wanted her to grow up in. And then I went ahead and made it.” – Leonie Dawson