Pandemania
27
Alejandro Ramirez “I hope to pass away in my sleep so I don’t have to worry about it, so no one else has to worry about it, y’know?” Papa ended the healthcare interview rather eerily. However, it was brushed off as a remark typical of an older adult who has contemplated and understood death to a greater extent than younger individuals, a typical topic of conversation in the college course that assigned this interview. This also came as no surprise given that Papa’s rather calm demeanor was ordinary behavior that I understood well, for he was a significant figure in my and my sister’s upbringing. That was the last time I talked to my grandfather. Four days after I interviewed my grandfather for a class assignment, he began feeling minor symptoms of illness. Papa was a tough cookie. He served in the Air Force and had a career of erecting scaffolding. After retirement, he remodeled homes for fellow independent-living community members to “age in place,” so feelings of fatigue were ordinary for him. But things took a turn for the worst shortly after, when he started to realize he may be yet another case of the universal virus, a fear that the aging population can perceive as even worse than a more natural, inevitable death. “What does health mean to you?” I asked to commence the interview. “Well, it means a lot. I want to move around as long as I am mobile and able to talk,” Papa answered. “I don’t think I’m in great shape, but I’m not in the fetal position, so I think my health is fair.” Papa celebrated reaching the age of 81 just a few days before this conversation. Many of his health issues stemmed from diabetes, but these ailments only slowed him down, while his mind remained healthy and lucid. His worsening symptoms bore down on his body within days of his initial onset of fatigue, to the point where even he had doubts about his ability to stick it out at home for the remainder of what he was beginning to understand as his battle with COVID-19.
