Humor Times, Oct. 2021

“When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser.” – Anonymous, often attributed to Socrates Issue #354

October, 2021

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Editor’s Letter

Too Little, Too Late

The former White House resident, now free to golf his heart out at his Mar-a-Lago resort all the time – instead of just half the time – is still trying to undermine the last election, as well as future elections. He even spewed the same old baseless claims of “fraud” about the California Recall before the vote count even began, saying the only way Newsom could win is if Dems “rigged” the election. They rigged it alright, the old school way, with their votes: 64% being against the recall (as of Sept. 15th, with 74% of ballots counted).

Let me remind you, the first thing a wannabe dictator does is cast doubt on the electoral process. That’s number one in the playbook used around the world by authoritarians who try to overthrow democracies. Number two is to delegitimize the press.

The POOO (Previous Occupant of the Oval Office) continues to do these and more with a vengeance. Anyone who supports his efforts, in my opinion, supports the downfall of democracy in the USA. Talk about “SAD!” – to quote a phrase.

Everyone in any position to know, even Republicans, has verified that the election results were fair. Even the ultra-conservative Ron Johnson, Senator from Wisconsin, for Pete’s sake, said so recently. Life-long Republicans in office as Secretaries of State have affirmed the integrity of the elections in their swing states, as have loyal Republicans in county election offices.

Republican judges all across the country threw out frivolous challenges by his crony, soon-tobe-disbarred (we hope) lawyers. Rudy Giuliani’s license to practice law in New York state has already been suspended in June by a state appellate court.

And still, the cultist followers of the Home Alone 2 extra continue to believe him, and worse, spineless Congressional Republicans continue to support the Big Lie, fearing rabid attacks by that same brainwashed horde.

All of this imperils this great experiment in democracy, the not-so-United States of America.

Democracies are fragile – history shows this in stark relief. For the sake of the republic, we cannot, must not, allow the Big Lie to stand. We must not allow the Orange Mussolini to ever hold office any where again, and we need to beat all his clones in the upcoming midterms.

And somehow, some way, we must restore faith in elections. One way to do this would be to educate citizens on the voting process and all its security provisions. Another would be to require all voting machine companies to make their coding publicly available, and to cease allowing it to be protected as “proprietary” – this is a public election process, after all. If it’s truly secure, this should not be any cause for concern.

– James Israel, Editor

In Louisiana it’s old hat...

but it’ll take some getting used to in New York.

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Evacuations are getting to be a little too routine...

The Humor Times® (ISSN 1937 299X), Vol. 30, Issue 354, is published monthly by the Humor Times, 7271 Lindale Dr, Sacramento, CA 95828. (Not our mailing address, see “postmaster.”)

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October, 2021

HUMOR TIMES

3

Plague of Covidiots They yearn to be free...

and to avoid putting strange things in their bodies...

that they know nothing about...

4

and are proud of it.

They’ll try just about anything...

but only if they have no previous experience with it, apparently.

It’s a trust issue, they say...

and they trust internet blowhards, not science. (continued)

HUMOR TIMES

October, 2021

Gov. DeSatan DeSantis pretends he’s not spreading lies...

and says kids should never be uncomfortable.

But the hypocrisy is thick...

and Florida is home to 20% of USA Covid deaths.

Hospitals in low-vaccination areas are overrun...

for anyone else.

October, 2021

and they don’t have room...

It’s hitting hospital staff particularly hard. (continued pg 7)

HUMOR TIMES

5

The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews President Joe Biden

The Poetry and Writings of an Outsider Kirk Andersen “The inside story of America!”

Available on Amazon, Books-a-Million, and Barnes and Noble.

WWW.EDITORIALANDPOLITICALCARTOONS.COM

Don’t Let Your Friends Go Without…Give the HUMOR TIMES!

Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews the 46th president of the United States.

ANNOUNCER: Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.

JERRY DUNCAN: Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning?

Yes, indeed. Today on the show my guest is President Joe Biden, 46th President of the United States.

JERRY: Good morning, Mr. President.

PRESIDENT BIDEN: Let me correct you, Jerry. I’m the vice president.

JERRY: Hold on. You won the 2020 election.

BIDEN: C’mon, man. Who told you Joe Biden caricature by DonkeyHotey, flickr.com. that?

JERRY: A little birdy. history.

BIDEN: Okay. I’ll go along with it. I’m the BIDEN: Indeed. Ask me a question. president. Cool.

JERRY: Who was the 16th president?

JERRY: What got you into politics?

BIDEN: (thinks) BIDEN: I was always a leader. Student body Ah, don’t tell me. Let me see. I was around back president. Captain of the high school football then. team.

JERRY: Here’s a hint. He was 6’4?.

JERRY: Then you must have heard about the BIDEN: Michael Jordan. That’s the guy. pig that was ejected from the football game?

JERRY: (game show voice) BIDEN: No. Why? I’m sorry, Joe. It was Abraham Lincoln. But I JERRY: He was playing dirty. have a consolation prize. You and the First BIDEN: Reminds me of the Chinese words Lady will be spending a week in Urbana, Ohio “Dung on Mai Shu.” at the lovely Embassy Suites with CongressJERRY: What does that mean? man Jim Jordan and his wife Polly. I have to BIDEN: You stepped in shit, Jerry. warn you. Jim is in a foul mood, because he just found out his parents are siblings.

JERRY: I’m going to highlight your career.

You were the U.S. Senator of Delaware from BIDEN: Aside from that juicy nugget, Jordan 1972 to 2009. Then became vice president until thinks Sara Lee is Robert E. Lee’s wife. I don’t 2016. And in between ran for president a few have time for idiots. times. You know a lot about pres i den tial JERRY: You are 79 years old. The oldest president ever to hold office. Does it affect you?

BIDEN: Here’s the deal. I may be old, but have a great outlook on life. Been married to Jill for 44 years.

JERRY: Yep. You’re on your way. They say the first 50 years of marriage is the hardest.

JERRY: Since becoming president, you rejoined the Paris Agreement for climate change, signed the American Rescue Plan Act of 2021 to speed up the United States recovery from COVID-19 and withdrew U.S. troops from Afghanistan.

BIDEN: I had to. Trump made a bad deal with the Taliban to have the troops out by May. He released 5,000 prisoners that caused the collapse of the Afghan Army.

JERRY: What a dope.

BIDEN: This is what happens when a fart develops into a turd.

JERRY: You selected the first female vice president in U.S. history.

BIDEN: Camel Harris. She was born on Hump Day. JERRY: Her name is Kamala.

BIDEN: Sorry. I was thinking about the transportation in Afghanistan.

JERRY: She’s got more balls than Caitlyn Jenner. One tough woman.

BIDEN: Before we go. Let me say one thing to the American people. Kim Jong-un is not touring with BTS. JERRY: See you tomorrow.

The Jerry Duncan Show (c) Dean B. Kaner

Republicans don’t worry about “paying for” the tax cuts they lavish on the rich and corporations. And hawks don’t worry about “paying for” the money squandered on foreign misadventures. Yet, to this day, Republicans denounce domestic investments as “socialism,” and even Democrats — from Biden to Sanders — accept that they must be paid for with offsetting revenue.

The re sult is plain to see: a wealthy nation that squanders trillions of dollars on failure and folly abroad while its citizens, its economy, its democracy and its security are undermined at home. We are the only advanced country without paid family leave, without affordable day care, without public education pre-K to college. We are lagging, not leading, in the transition to renewable energy...

Thanks to climate change, extreme weather — hur ri canes, wildfires, floods, droughts — wreaks an increasing toll in lives and destruction. The imperative of addressing these threats to our security could not be more compelling — Katrina vanden Heuvel, The Washington Post, Sept. 3, 2021

6

HUMOR TIMES

October, 2021

Plague (conclusion) Finally, President Biden was forced to stick it to ’em...

to try and save them from self-destruction...

but another tactic might have worked better.

Anti-vaxxers are desperate to find a way out...

while the liars they listen to are in ever-shorter supply...

and refuseniks find themselves out of work.

Meanwhile, school is back in session...

October, 2021

and as fall approaches, more people will needlessly die.

HUMOR TIMES

7

Cult of the Big Lie It’s been a long time...

and things have changed.

Old pledges of unity are long forgotten...

and Osama bin Laden would be proud.

Seditionists draw inspiration from the like-minded...

and they have friends in high places.

They could yet succeed in their mission...

8

as they gather for the final push. (continued)

HUMOR TIMES

October, 2021

Recalling the Recall Their loser leader has no patience with the truth...

Things were looking bleak for the California Governor...

and while in office was even more unhinged than we knew... but Dems managed to “rig” another one!

forcing patriots to go above and beyond the call of duty.

It turned out to be a big nothing burger...

But conspiracy theories killed the right-wing conspiracy rally.

but election denialism is not.

October, 2021

HUMOR TIMES

9

Cartertoons • www.cartertoons.com

•

by Jon Carter

Cartertoons • www.cartertoons.com

•

by Jon Carter

‘We Report, You Decry!’

Biden Mobilizes Fox News Team to Tour in Afghanistan President deploys Fox cast to Kabul, “Since they know so much better.”

By Ted Holland, Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)

Biden mobilizes Tucker Carlson and crew.

Stating that he was tired of the endless criticism, complaining and constant calls for his resignation from Fox News anchors, as well as their frequent intimating that they could handle the situation in Afghanistan better than he or current Pentagon leaders could, President Joe Biden issued an executive order militarizing the Fox News Channel and setting it for immediate deployment in Kabul.

As Biden mobilizes the Fox News Channel, it will henceforth be known as “The United States French Foreign Legion.”

Among those set for front line action at the airport in Kabul are Fox on air personalities Sean Hannity, Lara Logan, Laura Ingraham, Shannon Bream and unit commander Tucker Carlson.

The president stated that since all military personnel had been extracted from the region, this would leave the evacuation of more refugees solely in the capable hands of the new United States French Foreign Legion.

He also noted the names of the members of the legion that had already accidentally fallen into the hands of the Taliban. When asked what would be his reaction should any harm befall members of the newly created force, the President replied, “Ooops.”

By Ted Holland, Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network) Spurred by the oncoming gallery of federal, state and private lawsuits challenging the constitutionality of its newly-enacted restrictive law banning abortions, Texas governor Greg Abbott today issued an executive order banning sex in the state of Texas.

Governor Abbott explained, “Without sex there will be no need for abortions.”

According to Judge Billy Bob Prickke, Chief Marshall of the newly-formed Texas Cit i zens Vig i lante Rang ers, there is a $10,000 bounty on the head of anyone caught having sex.

The bounty is payable immediately to any legal resident of the state of Texas who uncovers people engaged in sex. Anyone con-

God Now Tweeting

By Ted Hol land, Dis patches from SNN (Slobovian News Network) A new kinder, gentler Taliban, in order to receive recognition from the US government, returned control of Washington D.C. to president Biden. They included as a peace offering a basket of figs and a personalized rocket launcher.

By James Israel HEAVEN – The Christian God yesterday began “Twittering” – as He calls it – finally letting His Word be heard live by anyone with an internet connection or a mobile phone. “The Bible may have just been rendered irrelevant,” said the Pope in response.

A genealogist says there’s evidence Joe Biden’s 19th century ancestors owned 3 slaves: report C’mon, Joe was way too young at the time to do anything about it!

Soda served in bucket at KFC dubbed the ‘most American’ thing ever … actually, second to Type 2 Diabetes …

Prince Charles has very specific rules for how he takes a cup of tea While Prince Andrew only likes his T with a little A. Parent attacks teacher after mask dispute on first day of school, official says See what happens when two people wear the same mask to the same event.

Taliban hopes to get in as good with Biden as they did with Trump and Pompeo.

The Taliban stated that any damages done to the city would be covered by their Mass Destruc tion in sur ance pol icy from Ab dul of Kabul.

The Taliban also stated that to gain US acceptance, they are considering the following: • Making President Biden and Nancy Pelosi honorary Taliban • Relaxing beheading fees • Offering all Americans left in Afghanistan discount fares on Air Kabul Airlines

New Texas law opens up abortion bounty hunting Welp, looks like COVID has more re pro duc tive rights in Texas than women.

Norm Macdonald, comedian and ‘Saturday Night Live’ star, dies at 61 from cancer Cancer did what Lorne, SNL, Comedy Central, NBC couldn’t do. It shut Norm Macdonald up.

F**k you, Cancer.

Aaron Rodgers says a painful ‘double nut shot’ caused his first interception of the season … or as Nicki Minaj calls it, “a Covid Vaccine.”

‘I can no longer fight on’: Keyshawn Johnson joins USC fans blasting Clay Helton Yup, a team called the Trojans should provide way more protection for its QB’s.

Event organizers expected over 10,000 at the KY Fairgrounds for rally with Michael Flynn, Mike Lindell. Fewer than 300 showed up So, they had a rally, and the Trump Inaugural showed up!

‘Since Donald is banned, the space is not nearly as repulsive,’ He said.

President Biden Dispatches Chuck Norris, Sylvester Stallone to Afghanistan

By Ted Hol land, Dis patches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)

“No problem, we were born ready,” say Chuck Norris and Sylvester Stallone.

Scott Baio campaigned for Larry Elder running to replace Gavin Newsom as California governor before Elder was routed in recall election Well, If Elder’s ex ain’t lying about his weed intake, it was a pairing of ‘Happy Days’ and ‘In A Daze!’

Read more columns by Paul Lander at humortimes.com.

12

• Hiring former New York Governor Andrew Cuomo as American Spokesperson • Playing the Washington Nationals in a game of Grenade Ball • Adopting the 1960’s Ray Stevens hit “Ahab the Arab“ as their American theme song SNN Headline News is currently working on the following stories: Democrats Plotting to Replace Joe Biden with Hillary Clinton Vice President Kamala Harris Promises All 100,000 Afgan Ref u gees Jobs in US as Telemarketers

By Paul Lander. All you need to do is follow one simple rule: barely pay attention and jump to conclusions. So, here are some headlines today and my first thoughts:

Man says he was compelled by ‘righteous anger’ to confront a group of women on a beach because of their ‘pornographic’ bikinis Ironically … ending any chance of him getting to know any of them biblically.

Banned sex offenders to be housed in Huntsville.

victed of having sex could be fined $25,000 and/or be sen tenced to 18 years on the

Huntsville Prison farm hoe squad.

Judge Prikke explained that, “Choppin’ cotton in the hot sun all day relieves folks of their sex wants.”

The judge also stated that there is a $5,000 bounty on anybody caught watching a porno film or reading a dirty magazine, and a $500 bounty on anyone caught thinking about sex.

Further, Judge Prikke stated that he runs a mail-order business that sells Salt Pe ter, chas tity belts, pe nis pad locks, sex-detecting radar and sonar units that pick up moaning and heavy breathing.

Judge Prikke says that bounties are only payable in cases of sex between humans. “What a man and his sheep or a woman and her Great Dane do is none of our business.”

New Kinder, Gentler Taliban Returns Control of Washington to President Biden

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to

FAA reports increase in unruly passenger incidents Well, it is called the Delta variant.

Aspiring to the High Standards Set by Cable News

State of Texas to Ban Sex Altogether to Avoid Abortions

Ripping the Headlines Today

Melania Trump gave even less of a f–k about the Capitol attack than previously thought In fairness, she already had a jacket that covered that.

Headline News Section

Totally dissatisfied with the pathetic efforts of the Fox News team he sent over, which has since all been caught and imprisoned by the Taliban, as well as by the previous inadequate job done by the Pentagon in the evacuation from Afghanistan, President Biden has finally dispatched movie action/adventure film stars Chuck Norris and Sylvester Stallone to the region to get the job done.

In a news briefing the President stated, “These heroes got American GIs out of Vietnam when nobody else could. I have full faith that they can get any remaining Americans out of Afghanistan.”

There are rumors that the president also contacted Marvel Studios about sending in their cadre of heroes, but has not heard back.

Surgeon General’s Warning: ‘Humor Times’ Habit-Forming The U.S. Surgeon General warned citizens about a national humor magazine called the Humor Times today, saying it was “habit forming” and could lead to serious bouts of belly-laughter – upsetting the habitually pessimistic and people with weaker stomachs.

“Sure, we all like to laugh,” the official said, “but at what price? Sudden guffaws can disturb those nearby. Tears of laughter can blur your vision. And smiling can tire your facial muscles.”

“We’ve all heard the line, ‘laughter is the best medicine,’” he went on, “but is it, really?

Perhaps too much of a good thing is just that – too much. Be careful out there, America.”

(Ed. note: A subscription form can be found on page 3 – use at your own risk!)

HUMOR TIMES

Tweets from On High.

And in His very first Tweet, the Lord sayeth, “As opposed to most of the garbage on here, I have important things to say, so listen up. Like, Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s friend’s balls bloated because I smited him, he was being a dumbass.

And being the Almighty, I can go over 280 characters anytime I damn well please, I hope you k…” before his post was cut off.

Between each of His Glorious Tweets, the angels sang a beautiful chorus of “Angels we have heard on high,” changing the lyrics to “His Tweeting we have seen on high,” as cherubs write each sacred line out in clouds.

God apparently is an avid sports fan, commenting on football as well as basketball. In another post, the all-seeing deity, apparently re fer ring to col lege bas ket ball, tweeted, “Gawd, I sure gave these kids some hops, didn’t I? It’s downright nasty!”

As a result of His basketball posts, a barrage of recent tweets have read more like prayers (now being called “Twayers”), such as this one from hoopsman342: “Oh, God, please bless me with another 3 inches of lift, and I’ll be dunking hard with some freaking heavenly hang time!”

According to twitterholic.com, God shot up to a #1 worldwide Twitter ranking within just six hours of his first post. “It’s not surprising," said a Twitter expert. “He has always been a very popular, even iconic, figure. People just want to know what’s on His mind, and now they can. Thank God God created Twitter!”

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Order yours today! https://subs.humortimes.com October, 2021

Liu Zhongjing’s non-historical understanding of the national state (Liu Zhongjing is a scholar who has read profound historical literature and is now in exile in the United States.)

Liu Zhongjing’s theory of “Auntie Doctrine” is to deconstruct current China theoretically, but his theory of deconstructing China mainly consists of a series of weird historical sayings. Liu Zhongjing claims to have been studying history for many years and is good at quoting various historical stories from China and foreign countries. But the fun da men tal fal lacy of Liu Zhongjing’s “Auntie Doctrine” lies precisely in his non-historical understanding of historical phenomena.

In order to deconstruct the Chinese nation, Liu Zhongjing has made a lot of “sensational” remarks. For example, he said that “Chinese nation” has never been existed. The word “Chinese nation” was invented by Liang Qichao.

Liang Qichao remarked that “the Qing Empire will inevitably disintegrate if it do not rebuild a highly inclusive Chinese nation. The Manchu massacre of the Han has aroused the hatred of the Han, so the Qing Empire will inevitably disintegrate”. The “Chinese nation” defined by the Chinese government is actually based on Liang Qichao’s theory, “but this theory is a failure and does not conform to the definition of national community.”

Obviously, Liu Zhongjing is distorting the meaning of this term, so as to achieve the purpose of distorting history. Those who know the history of contemporary China understand that the Chinese nation, as a noun or a concept, was indeed first put forward by Liang Qichao in 1901 in his “On the History of China”. Before that, there was no word for “Chinese nation” in Chinese language at all. However, words are only the expressions of objective facts, and in Chinese language, “the Chinese nation” is the modern expression of the descendants of the Chinese people who have existed for five thousand years. Even before this term was invented, the “Chinese nation” still existed objectively. In fact, if you look into modern Chinese language, many words, such as government, law, political system, philosophy, literature, education, etc., were borrowed or created by Liang Qichao and other scholars at the beginning of the 20th century from the Chinese characters in Japanese language. But, can we conclude from this, that before the 20th century, there were no government, law, political system, philosophy, literature, education, and things like those? After the great vernacular movement in the 20th century, there were about hundreds of Japanese original words introduced into modern Chinese language, and a considerable part of them are modern expressions of the objective things existing in thousands of years of Chinese history. Obviously, it’s absurd that Liu Zhongjing denied the thousands-of-years existence of the Chinese nation.

On the other hand, when talking about nationality, Liu Zhongjing often used the definition of nationality in modern academic circles to deny the past existence of nationality. Since the Treaty of Westphalia was signed in the middle of the 17th century, national states have been formed in Europe one after another. National state is a form of modern sovereign state. Benedict Anderson defined nationality as “imaginary political community”. The most typical examples of the definition of nationality are the two global international organizations, the League of Na tions and the United Na tions, both emerged in the 20th century. The two most important modern international organizations directly equate nationality with national states.

However, before the national states came into being, there were many nationalities all over the world. Based on Liu Zhongjing’s logic, the nationality can only be defined according to the theory of modern national state, then are the ancient Chinese nationality, Greek nationality, Persian nationality, Japanese nationality all illusory existence?

In order to deny the existence of the Chinese

Stay Vigilant

na tion al ity be fore the 20th cen tury, Liu Zhongjing even directly denied the existence of the Han ethnic group. “First of all, Han was not a nation, it was not even an ethnic group,” he said, “it was not an ethnic group, it was just an empire, it was a successor of the Qin Empire, it was not a nation. Qu Yuan only belonged to the state of Chu, Lu Zhonglian only belonged to the state of Qi, and Meng Tian only belonged to the state of Qin, they each had their own special ethnic identity, which can be barely accepted. But in the real history, the Han Dynasty was a rootless universal empire, in which special community identity could hardly be found in all its subjects.” It is appalling to see that in order to negate the Chinese nation, Liu even negated the existence of the Han ethnic group. It’s hard to understand why Liu Zhongjing, who has read so many historical books, lacks a historical perspective in his research.

In ancient China, there was no concept of “nationality” in modern appellation, but it does not follow that there is no Han ethnic group in China. In fact, “Man”, “Meng” and “Han” are all used to distinguish different ethnic groups.

From a historical point of view, the Chinese ethnic group has a history of 5,000 years. After the descendants of the Yellow Emperor (Huangdi Emperor) established the Xia Dynasty, the Xia tribe became the Xia ethnic group. After more than 1,600 years of development in the Xia, Shang and Zhou dynasties, the Xia tribe merged with the Rong, Di, Yi and Man tribes in the Yellow River Valley of the Central Plains to establish Huaxia (an ancient name for China).

During the time of Qin and Han Dynasties, China had established the earliest modern state in the world. In his book “The Origin of Political Order”, Francis Fukuyama, an American scholar, believes that some elements of modern state that we understand today already existed in China in the third century BC, which was 1,800 years earlier than they appeared in Europe. For example, the Han ethnic group began in the Han Dynasty. During this period, the Chinese were collectively referred to as “Qin people” or “Han people”, and at that time “Han” was already accepted as the name of an ethnic group. Over the next two thousand years, the Han, as a dominant ethnic group in quantity, had been integrated with other ethnic groups in China. Up to now, the Chinese nation with 56 ethnic groups has been formed.

Therefore, from a historical perspective, the 5,000-year history of the Chinese nation has been a dynamic process of constant evolution and mu tual in te gra tion of differ ent eth nic groups. If we take a certain concept or a certain standard of today to clip the past several thousand years of history like what Liu Zhongjing did, then the history of any country or nation in the world would have been deconstructed. According to the logic of Liu Zhongjing’s theory, today’s Americans are certainly not a nation and there are no Americans. Instead, there are only the people of New York, people of New Jersey, people of Connecticut, people of Virginia, etc., because they were the people there before the United States of America was founded. The United States today would then become a rootless universal empire and there would be no national identity among the people from different states. Liu Zhongjing was trying to denying that the modern national state was an “imaginary political community”.

There are serious defects in Liu Zhongjing’s structure of knowledge. Although Liu has read a lot of books and is very fond of studying history, most of his writings are disorganized and lack logics. On the one hand, he did not comprehend some western theories. On the other hand, he has no ability to invent a rigorous logical theory.

He preached his “Auntie Doctrine” everywhere, but he himself never articulated his theories in a systematic and precise way, and there were too many ambiguities and contradictions in his research.

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Lawless Legislation Texas has a tradition of running down dangerous law breakers...

with a draconian law only Texas lawmakers could dream up.

But they insist they are a welcoming state.

They say they love their “little ladies”...

and just want to keep them close.

But they are denying women their rights, belittling them...

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and now they’re roundin’ up the most dangerous of all...

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and putting them in a very dangerous situation.

October, 2021

Repubs

Dems

Republicans are determined...

It hasn’t been easy so far for the new prez...

to give their favorite constituents another shot in the arm.

but he celebrates small victories where he can.

They take pride in their moral turpitude...

His immigration policy is a mess...

and yet strive to stay relevant.

October, 2021

and his whole agenda could blow up in his face.

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The Hightower Lowdown

Global Warning Climate deniers no longer have a leg to stand on...

so now they’re just trying to distract us.

What’s the “Quits Rate?” And Why Is It Skyrocketing?

As a writer, I get stuck every so often straining for the right words to tell my story or otherwise make the kind of progress I want on the piece I’m writing. Over the years, though, I’ve learned when to quit tying myself into mental knots over sentence construction and instead step back and rethink where my story is going.

This process is essentially what millions of American working families are going through this year as record numbers of them are shocking bosses, politicians and economists by stepping back and declaring: “We quit!” Most of the “quits rate” is tied to very real abuses that have become ingrained in our workplaces over the past couple of decades — poverty paychecks, no health care, unpredictable schedules, no child care, understaffing, forced overtime, unsafe jobs, sexist and racist managers, tolerance of aggressively rude customers and so awful much more.

Meanwhile, corporate bosses across America have been sputtering in outrage at workers this summer, spewing expletives about the fact that while the U.S. economy has been coming back … workers (i.e., you) haven’t!

“Labor shortage,” they squeal, lazily accusing the workforce of mass laziness. Apparently, they charge insultingly that millions of workers got used to laying around during the pandemic shutdown, for there is now an abundance of jobs open for everything from restaurant work to nursing to construction work. So, the bosses and their political dogs bark that you people need to get back in the old harness and start pulling again.

Adding a nasty bite to their bark, several GOP governors cut off unemployment benefits to people, hoping to force them to work. Other businesses have proffered signing bonuses, free dinner coupons and other lures, while such notoriously mingy outfits as McDonald’s and Walmart have even upped their wage scales in an effort to draw workers.

Yet … no go. In fact, to the astonishment of the economic elite, the employment flow this year is going the other way! Record numbers of current workers in all sorts of jobs in every section of the country are voluntarily walking away. There’s even an official economic measurement of this phenomenon called the “quits rate,” and it is surging beyond anything our

JIM HIGHTOWER economy has experienced in modern memory — in April, 4 million workers quit; in May, another 3.6 million left, in June, 3.9 million said “Adios!” At a time when conventional economic wisdom dictates that, after a devastating 18-month downturn, people would be clinging to any paycheck they can get! The “quits” are so unexpected and so widespread that pundits have started dubbing t his y ear “The Great Resignation.”

What’s wrong with people, why are such staggering numbers of Americans failing to do their jobs? But wait — maybe that’s the wrong question. Maybe the corporate system’s “jobs” are failing the people. Consider this: The most common comment by those who’re walking out is, “I hate my job.”

Specific grievances abound, but at the core of each is a deep, inherently destructive executive-suite malignancy: disrespect. The corporate system has cheapened employees from valuable human assets worthy of being nurtured and advanced to a bookkeeping expense that must be steadily eliminated. It’s not just about paychecks, it’s about feeling valued, feeling that the hierarchy gives a damn about the people doing the work.

Yet, corporate America is going out of its way to show that it doesn’t care — and, of course, workers notice. So, unionization is booming, millions who were laid off by the pandemic are refusing to rush back to the same old grind, and now millions who have jobs are quitting. This is much more than an unusual unemployment stat — it’s a sea change in people’s attitude about work itself … and life.

People are rethinking where their story is going and how they can take it in a better direction. Yes, nearly every one will eventually return to work, but workers themselves have begun redefining the job and rebalancing it with life.

It’s looking rather glum for future generations...

but some are willing to trade our future for profit today.

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October, 2021

Quagmire Blues Logically, the one who got us into the mess is at fault...

The war started long, long ago...

but that’s not how the blame game works.

and most Americans got bored with it.

Some, however, made quite a killing.

Perhaps we’ve learned our lesson, perhaps not.

Meanwhile, Afghanistan is back in Taliban hands...

and thousands of evacuees need a place to live.

October, 2021

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Miscellaneous Mischief

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October, 2021

October, 2021

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