“Xi’s visit to Moscow is something of a political coup for Russia...” – Holly Ellyatt, cnbc.com
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® 32ndAnniversaryIssue! Issue #372 April, 2023
Formerly the “Comic Press News”
2 HUMOR TIMES April, 2023 OMNETWORKS A Complete Internet Solution WWW DSL • WiFi T1/T3 • Technical Support WWW.OMSOFT.COM • 530-758-0119 Available at the Artists Collaborative Gallery 129 K St. Old Sacramento www.johnreigerpottery.com Humor Times T-shirts! Order yours today! https://subs.humortimes
Welcome to the start of our 33rd year: Presenting the political satire that the world needs to cope.
As I’m sure you know, the hyper-partisan climate since Benedict Donald was first helped into office by the Russian mob and its defacto leader, Vladimir Putin, has needed uncompromising political satire to help expose the truth. Our mission is to provide that, while also uplifting the spirits of the truth-tellers – like you, dear reader.
So, we suppose this challenging time has been good for our humble publication.
However, there was plenty of demand for political humor before that calamity, and I would much rather have some sanity and civility restored in our society.
For those who have only discovered the Humor Times in recent months or years, we used to enjoy lampooning all political viewpoints more evenhandedly. Sure, we’ve always leaned left, but we aimed plenty of satirical barbs at Bill Clinton in his day, for example. New readers may think we’re too soft on the Democrats now, but from my point of view, it’s the right’s fault.
Thinking conservatives, perhaps believing it could never happen, allowed their party to be consumed by an extreme MAGA wing, animated by a lunatic – if somehow charismatic – cult leader. It has spiraled out of control since then, into a harebrained radicalism that sucks all of the satirical oxygen right out of the air.
I mean, just look at this character, Cheeto Benito of Mar-a-Lago. Who can possibly compare?
Only his latest spawn, those denizens of the Insurrection Caucus, including M.T. “Empty” Greene, Josh “Haul-Ass” Hawley, Speaker Kevin “Jelly Spine” McCarthy, Matt “Venmo” Gaetz, Gym “Look Away” Jordan, Lauren “Klannie Oakley” Boebert, Paul “Family Hates Him” Gosar, and the rest. Look at their absurd “war on woke” – a blind rage at – at what??? At a generation that is trying to learn from the past? That is trying to awaken from the evil spell of racism? Or is it rage at awareness itself?
The truth is, today’s Republican Party has been coopted, and is no longer a serious political party, so it does not deserve to have its “positions” seriously considered (such as they are).
Until they can right their own ship – by becoming a somber party that embraces democracy once again, with sane arguments and a willingness to work with their opposition instead of vilifying them – they invite all the lampooning we can muster.
Our incredibly talented cartoonists recognize this as well, and have concentrated the power of their pens on this modern day scourge. This is the material we have to work with, and we are proud to display it.
I hope and pray that soon the MAGA cult can break the spell, come out of the fog of lies, and see clearly again. If they do, they will demand that a truly conservative party once again emerge. Perhaps it will take creating a brand new party, or maybe the “GOP” can be salvaged. But for that to happen, it will take voters waking up and demanding it. Lord knows, it can’t happen too soon.
– James Israel, Editor
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The Humor Times® (ISSN 1937 299X), Vol. 32, Issue 372, is published monthly by the Humor Times, 7271 Lindale Dr, Sacramento, CA 95828. (Not our mailing address, see “postmaster.”)
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FREE WEB BOOK: Bleaching Our Roots: Race and Culture In American Popular Music
Lippman has published his comprehensive study of cross-cultural musical
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READ AND WATCH: davelippman.com /bleaching Support the Noble Cause of Political Humor! Become a Humor Times Patron Become a Sustaining Supporter and Get Your Name in the Funny Papers! Here are a few of our current generous supporters: Bruce Gordon • Randolf Krbechek • Josephine Decaro Rutigliano • Frank Franklin • and YOU? It isn’t easy these days producing any periodical, particularly when you are a small publication without any corporate backing. If you believe in the cause of political humor, please consider joining the growing ranks of Humor Times Patrons, via Patreon.com! Help us keep the lights on with a sustaining monthly donation. Get a reward, depending on your level of support. We thank you! www.patreon.com/humortimes Congrats, Humor Times on 32 Years! www.editorialand politicalcartoons.com www.aofonline.org • 916-304-3796 “Free your mind and the rest will follow” Friends Don’t Let Friends Go Without… Give the HUMOR TIMES!
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appropriation
appreciation. With embedded video clips for your edutainment.
Crowd Sourced
We’ll let the great Mark Twain kick off our 33rd year... and we know he’d have had a field day with this one.
Fox became the opposite of a “news leader”... and may end up being destroyed by the monster it created.
They’re willing to sacrifice anything... but they’ve been exposed... as the serial liars they are. Their subservience has born fruit, however. (continued)
4 HUMOR TIMES April, 2023
Tucker will say anything… to get viewers to see things his way.
He’s been known to gaslight his own audience... with his “unique perspective” on things.
He’s got the most popular show on Fox... because he gives them what they want.
They think they know him... but barely know themselves.
April, 2023 HUMOR TIMES 5
Banks got high on deregulation… but CEOs have stashed their lucky charms... and know how to work the system. The government sprang into action... saying it’s not as bad as it looks... but there’s no telling how it will end.
It’s an age-old story... that can negate a lot of hard work.
6 HUMOR TIMES April, 2023 Overdraft
April, 2023 HUMOR TIMES 7 Open: 9am to 6pm Daily 514 3rd Street, Davis, CA 95616 • (530) 756-6247 Greeting Cards • Great Gifts Puzzles • Magazines • Candies Essentials from the oasis in Davis! A broad selection of gifts from Jellycat, Blue Q, Pomegranate, Crane and others!
The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews Fox TV Host Tucker Carlson
Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews Fox TV Host Tucker Carlson.
PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN: Folks. “The Big Lie” himself Fucker Charlatan. I mean Friar Tuck. Is it Tummy Tuck? Shucks, Tucker Carlson.
out negative. Funny though, the test did show I’m part weasel.
JERRY: You’ve had your show since 2016. Number one rating in TV talk news. What do you attribute to your success?
TUCKER: Simple. Fox News is “fair and balanced.”
JERRY: (laughs) I get it. That’s a joke.
TUCKER: Did I say something funny?
JERRY: And speaking of jokes. I can’t believe you worked for MSNBC, CNN and PBS.
TUCKER: True. I had my own shows and participated in panel discussions on hot topics as a conservative.
JERRY: 88. And she doesn’t like weasels.
TUCKER: Let me explain my position. If a person reaches 88 years old, they are entitled to social security. Everyone else is on their own. Hey, I need money for retirement. I can’t live off a $20 million dollar pension if we give people over 62 years old social security.
JERRY: Let’s look at the things you pulled out of your ass over the years. You support tax cuts for welfare, child care, food stamps, and other Federal assistance programs including Pell Grants. All of which help the needy.
TUCKER: What are Pell Grants?
JERRY: The Feds subsidize college tuition for poor kids.
TUCKER: Yep. Then I’m against it.
ANNOUNCER: Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.
JERRY DUNCAN: Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? No, it’s not. Today on the show my guest is Fox TV host of Tucker Carlson Tonight…Tucker Carlson.
TUCKER CARLSON: Hello Jerry.
JERRY: Are you sure you’re not the grown up Eddie Munster from The Munsters TV show?
TUCKER: Yes. My DNA test turned
JERRY: How could you be on liberal leaning networks? Conservatives have no compassion for the middle class and poor.
TUCKER: C’mon. Give me an example.
JERRY: Okay. My aunt is on social security. Gets $1,200 a month from the Feds and lives in a trailer. And Republicans want to take that away from her.
TUCKER: The trailer?
JERRY: No numb nuts, her social security.
TUCKER: How old is your aunt?
JERRY: If the rich don’t pay their fair share of taxes, then what’s your solution to reduce the deficit?
TUCKER: Simple. We eliminate the capital gains tax, corporate income tax, and the estate tax for wealthy folks like me. It will employ more people.
JERRY: We already have the lowest unemployment ever under Joe Biden. And he’s making the wealthy pay taxes. Sorry, mop head. That doesn’t fly.
TUCKER: Let me throw out some other convoluted logic.
JERRY: No. Let’ talk about your lies
on the air about a stolen election in 2020. The owner of Fox News, your boss Rupert Murdoch testified under oath to a grand jury that the election was not stolen. That the Dominion voting machines were accurate. Your response?
TUCKER: The man is senile. He coughs, farts, sneezes and pees at the same time. Just ask his ex-wives.
JERRY: Not so fast. You showed selective footage on your show from the January 6, 2021 insurrection claiming the Trump thugs were peacefully taking a tour of the capitol. That no one was hurt. What we all witnessed on TV in real time was staged by the FBI.
TUCKER: Just sayin’
JERRY: 140 police officers were injured. 5 people died. All because Trump wouldn’t accept the results of the election. We have text messages that you didn’t believe Trump.
TUCKER: Please, don’t bring that up. I could lose my listeners!
JERRY: You said about the Trumpster, “I hate him passionately.” Senator Lindsey Graham said that it was sad to see you go off the rails about the insurrection. Senator Thom Tillis called your account bullshit. There were even more Republicans who blasted you including Senator Mitch McConnell.
TUCKER: Who cares? Congressman George Santos believes me. Would he lie?
JERRY: You’re one and done on my show, Tucker. Remember the words of Confucius who said, “Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with sticky fingers.” Tucker Carlson everyone. See you tomorrow.
The Jerry Duncan Show (c) Dean B. Kaner
Public Banks
North Dakota has the only state-owned bank in the nation. Advocates say it’s a model for getting state tax money invested in communities...
What public bank campaigners want... is a world with a more decentralized financial sector, with more local lenders they can more easily hold accountable for meeting real human needs, like affordable housing and living wage jobs, thriving small business, affordable child care and accessible health care....
“One of the most-heard talking points against a public bank is it will hurt local banks,” Wu says. “But it’s the exact opposite—we’ve seen it in action.”
More: yesmagazine.org/issue/world-we-want/2020/02/19/ public-bank-north-dakota
8 HUMOR TIMES April, 2023
Caricature by Donkey Hotey flickr.com.
In a plot twist you could see coming a mile away...
Dilbert got exposed...
and is out of a job.
Fans can’t believe it...
and don’t understand.
But soon all will be revealed...
and Dilbert will move on... to who knows where?
April, 2023 HUMOR TIMES 9
Unfunnies
Woke vs Deluded
The GOP loves to wear out pet trigger words… and drive their lessons home.
They say they just want to protect folks… from the real danger.
It’s important to sound the alarm, they say... to keep kids safe... from evil. But it can backfire.
10 HUMOR TIMES April, 2023
TheHightowerLowdown
Book-Banners are Coming to Your Town
Not so long ago, book burnings were considered a festive group activity by assorted right-wing zealots. Today, though, burning seems so old-fashioned and, well… crude.
Yet, the concept is burning hotter than ever among a gaggle of testosterone-driven Republican leaders eager to show voters that they will go to extremes to incinerate progressive ideas and people’s personal liberties. Rather than lighting bonfires, though, the new fad for GOP politicians is simply to use government power to ban the offending books (thus saving the expense of matches and lighter fluid).
It might not surprise you to learn that our Lone Star State’s extremist political operatives are leading today’s book-banning frenzy. One Jonathan Mitchell, for example, is going from town to town pushing Texas Republican officeholders to pass local ordinances he labels “Safe Library Patron Protection.” Yes, patrons, censoring what you can read is necessary to “protect” you. The GOP ban prohibits libraries from having books, videos, etc. that contain “immoral content,” which he defines as depictions of nudity, sexual behavior, mentions of masturbation, LGBTQ+ life, etc. It’s also autocratically homophobic, making it illegal for librarians to display LGBTQ flags or even mention “LGBTQ Pride Month.”
This repressive monomania stabs even deeper into our freedom of expression by concocting a “right” of right-wing vigilantes to enforce the ordinances. Yes, self-appointed bands of bounty hunters would be authorized to roam the countryside suing local libraries (and individual librarians) for having “banned” books on the shelves. To spur this political malice, Mitchell’s scheme provides a $10,000 reward for every violation a vigilante finds (or fabricates).
Well, you say, thank God I don’t live in Texas! But — Hello! — repression doesn’t recognize state borders, so the pernicious idea of paid library marauders is spreading across the country. To help defend your freedom from them, go to the American Library Association.
JIM HIGHTOWER
How despicable are big pharma’s insulin price gougers?
Profiteering is always bad, but there are degrees. Level 1 includes your everyday price gougers, like banks and airlines. At Level 2, you’ll find the more demonic outfits like loan sharks and for-profit college hucksters. Then, top of the heap at Level 3, you’ll find Eli Lilly.
This $288 billion drug-making colossus is America’s primary peddler of insulin, the diabetes drug that some seven million Americans must constantly take literally to stay alive. By having both monopoly power over the market and such a huge base of captive customers, Lilly has gleefully jacked up its prices over three decades, with insulin now costing each sufferer as much as $1,000 a month!
Finally, under intense political pressure to stop its extreme, life-threatening gouging, the giant recently announced it would soon cut its insulin price by a whopping 70%! In full-page ads, Lilly hailed its corporate generosity, magnanimously declaring that “everyone deserves affordable options.”
But — Hello! — it has intentionally charged unaffordable rip-off prices for 30 years, wallowing in monopoly profits. And if Lilly can keep profiting on its insulin despite slashing the price by 70%, that means it has been overcharging patients by 70% all this time! Yet, its rich executives want us to thank them?
Even with the price cut, they’re charging $66 for a single vial, though it costs less than $7 to produce and would be profitable under $9.
Meanwhile, note that the ballyhooed price cut is voluntary, meaning Lilly can raise the price again at any time. Indeed, David Ricks (who personally pockets $19 million a year from the profiteering) has refused to pledge that he’ll keep the medicine affordable.
April, 2023 HUMOR TIMES 11
Cartertoons • www.cartertoons.com
www.cartertoons.com •
by Jon Carter
Republicans have an answer for everything... because they care.
They are praying for better schools... fighting evil at its source...
and holding people accountable.
testing the presidential field... and wowing the base.
14 HUMOR TIMES April, 2023 Republicans
Meanwhile, DeSantis is standing out from the crowd...
Trump is running like he just don’t care... but his online rants tell a different story.
He says he’s more presidential than ever... compared to anyone in history.
He’s headed to court soon... which surprises no one.
It’ll soon be perp walk time... but it can only help him get re-elected, he says.
April, 2023 HUMOR TIMES 15
Unpresidented
It’s all over but the shouting...
Thinking is so outdated...
until next time.
It’s worth the risk, some say...
and basically useless anymore.
because it all evens out in the end.
Artificial intelligence is taking over...
and what could go wrong?
16 HUMOR TIMES April, 2023
Avoidable AI
Biden believes in unity… but the world is on a short fuse right now.
His budget is a tough haul… and he’s facing backlash over a broken promise...
among other slip-ups.
Meanwhile, AOC was caught accepting gifts...
Chicago’s mayor lost in a primary… and N.Y. Gov. Hochul is working out the kinks.
April, 2023 HUMOR TIMES 17 Democrats
White Birthday Balloon Mistaken for China Spy
By Derek Postlewaite
Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a spyplatform! No, it’s just a lonely birthday balloon that escaped a party.
‘We Report, You Decry!’
DeSantis: ‘War on Woke’ Misunderstood, ‘My War is on the Word Itself’
By James Israel
Florida Governor DeSantis says his so-called “War on Woke” is actually a war is on the word “woke,” not an ideology.
In a press conference today, DeSantis aimed to clear up misconceptions. “Everyone thinks it’s some liberal ideology I’m fighting,” he said. “That couldn’t be further from the truth. My war is on the word itself. ‘Woke,’ such an ugly, mean word!”
“Now don’t get me wrong,” DeSantis added, “I like it when people are asleep, not awake. It makes it much easier to pass draconian laws, and to disguise my new, soft fascism as just a folksy populism bent on enforcing good ol’ fundamentalist religious views.”
Renowned Sensitivity Expert: Everything Ever Written is Offensive to Someone and Should Be Rewritten
By Ted Holland, Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)
On the heels of books from Dr. Seuss to James Bond novels being purged of any offensive content and being rewritten, the world’s most renowned sensitivity expert says that everything ever written should be purged and rewritten.
A white orb was discovered in the skies of Montana and was first thought to be a another Chinese spy device, but it turned out to be a disgruntled birthday balloon that escaped yet another gathering of family and friends singing the Anglo Saxon version of “Happy Birthday.”
When asked to elaborate, the balloon appeared deflated and explained, “As soon as I heard the first monotone uttering of the words ‘happy birthday,’I up and bounced. I didn’t even stay to see the 10 year old boy blow out the gold candles on his Roblox birthday cake.”
Multiple reporters inquired as to why the popular version of the song bothers the balloon so much. Upon hearing this question, the party balloon, purchased from a Montana Family Dollar yet labeled by detractors a Communist China spy, became embittered and responded angrily, “Has no one of light complexion ever heard the Stevie Wonder version?!”
Surgeon General’s Warning: Humor Times Habit-Forming
The Surgeon General warned citizens about the political satire magazine the Humor Times today, saying it was “habit forming” and could lead to serious bouts of belly-laughter, upsetting the habitually pessimistic.
“Perhaps too much of a good thing is just that – too much,” he said.
(Ed: A subscription form is on page 3, for the brave. But please, subscribe responsibly!)
“But that word! Just look at the W, it’s an upside down M, for ‘mean,’ get it?! Followed by an O, which is just a tunnel down into the dark. Once you enter that tunnel, the door is slammed shut on you and you’re trapped in Wokeville The door? It’s the K, of course! It’s got a handle, it’s got that flat part, c’mon, it’s a door!
DeSantis “woke” in a mental health hospital?
“Then we come to the most evil letter of all, the E. E for ‘evil,’ right? It’s so obvious, why doesn’t anybody else get it?
“So, all of this is why I keep saying the word over and over again. My war is on the word ‘woke’ itself! I say we ship it to a deserted island and nuke it!”
After the press conference, another door slammed on the governor. It was to a padded room in the Tallahassee Mental Health Center.
Tucker Carlson Exposes More Media Lies
Other “lamestream media” lies that Tucker Carlson says need correcting.
By William Vaillancourt
Tucker Carlson recently aired U.S. Capitol security footage from the Jan. 6 insurrection that House Speaker Kevin McCarthy gave him, at one point showing tape of Sen. Josh Hawley (R-MO) fleeing from rioters.
Yet the clip is one of many “media lies,” according to the Fox News host, because Hawley wasn’t the only one seen running.
Here are some more important exposés planned by Tucker Carlson for his show:
Banana bread that contains ingredients besides bananas
• Four-wheel-drive automobiles that go in reverse
• Books with page numbers that don’t take into account Roman numerals in the beginning
• The moon, whenever it’s not full
• A child’s sandcastle that has a bit of seaweed in it
• Apartments and condominiums named
Penniless Donald Trump Assigned Public Defender in Stripper Case
By Eric Green
As the TV ad goes, if you’ve got a phone, you’ve got a lawyer. Donald Trump has a phone, but can only afford a public defender.
Having reportedly run out money to hire grossly expensive legal talent, ex-President Donald Trump has been assigned a public defender in his case involving former stripper Stormy Daniels.
The public defender, Johnny Cockatoo, 28, is regarded as an up-and-coming attorney after failing the law bar examination only three times before finally passing.
Trump is said to have gone broke after paying a galaxy of attorney hundreds of millions of dollars in legal fees to represent him in numerous lawsuits filed against him. Some of these attorneys claim Trump ‘stiffed” them in never paying for their legal work.
Trump called that charge “BS, a gross lie. I’m the most honest, reputable person you’ll ever find anywhere. Ask my daughter Ivanka.” Trump said.
“By the way,” Trump added, “I’m not really broke, despite what you hear from the fake lamestream media, okay? I still got tons of money. My people are just consolidating my portfolio.”
For his part, Cockatoo says he’s nothing like the public defender that was comically por-
trayed in the film, My Cousin Vinny. That public defender’s shaky nerves and severe stutter didn’t exactly help his defendant’s case after he was accused of murder.
Cockatoo maintained he’s a good lawyer, and that the judge in one of his cases was prejudiced against him. The judge didn’t like long-haired men, like Cockatoo, who wore an ill-fitting suit, as did the lawyer in the movie featuring “Vinny” LaGuardia Gambini
“We public defenders may not be the richest people in the work, but we do this work because we believe in it,” said Cockatoo.
“The truth is I’m a great lawyer, ask anybody and they’ll tell you that.”
“Mr. Trump need not worry,” said Cockatoo. “I’ll give it all I got. If he loses, he loses. Won’t be the end of the world. At least for me.”
In a social media post, Trump called the trial “a continuation of the greatest witch hunt of all time,” adding, “NEVER HAD AN AFFAIR.”
Cockatoo said he’s already got a brilliant defense plan worked out for the ex-president, which he will reveal when the case goes to trial.
“I’m not at liberty to discuss my strategy, but rest assured, Mr. Trump will like it.”
And if he doesn’t, Cockatoo added, “he can always go try to find another lawyer. But good luck trying to find one better than me, okay?”
“Mountainview” from which one can see some combination of field, forest, river, and more than one mountain
• Guitarists who use their thumb while playing fingerstyle
• Ski resorts that welcome snowboarders, tubers, and anyone who just wants to hang out by the lodge with a hot chocolate
• About Schmidt when we learn about characters not named Schmidt
• Google Maps street view when used on roads, avenues, lanes, and highways
Southwest Airlines flights from Chicago to Albany
• Dinner parties where hors d’oeuvres are offered before dinner
• The number Pi when written as 3.14 rather than to its 100th decimal
• Gas stations that sell a variety of food and drink Boston University buildings with addresses in Brookline
Doctor Ibeeze Fuller-Crappe, head of the Fumbeldunckt Center for Anti-Artificial Illiteracy, states that even the smallest piece of literature in the modern culture is objectionable to someone.
He stated, “‘Jack and Jill went up the hill’ seems hateful to hill-challenged people and those who are pail-less. The Christian Bible should be rewritten, as it offends Roman Soldiers, Philistines, persons named Judas, snakes and the section of the world’s population that are Pontius.”
He continued, “Paradise Lost is offensive to souls who live in hell… Uncle Tom’s Cabin is objectionable to slave owners… Forbes Magazine seems outrageous to people who are broke. Shakespeare puts off people who are allergic to olde English, and Mother Goose offends other maternal fowl.”
Doctor Fuller-Crappe stated that the only material he has found that is not offensive are scripts for the 1950’s TV series “The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet.” He further stated that the Humor Times magazine is repulsive to people who have no sense of humor and politicians everywhere. (Ed. note: for that, we are truly sorry.)
Ripping the Headlines Today
Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to By Paul Lander. All you need to do is follow one simple rule: barely pay attention and jump to conclusions. So, here are some headlines today and my first thoughts:
Las Vegas Strip has an unexpected cannabis problem
My guess, they’re getting clobbered at the all you can eat buffets ...
DeSantis administration revokes Hyatt Regency Miami alcohol license after it hosted “A Drag Queen Christmas” Really, what’s more Christmasy for some then ‘donning their Gay Apparel.’ Submarine with 2 bodies, 3 tons of cocaine seized in the Pacific Ocean
... In three, two, one ... Cocaine Sharknado. More than 30-50 feral Canadian hybrid ‘super pigs’ reportedly headed towards USA Hey, Joe Biden, build a wall and make ‘Honey Baked’ pay for it.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day
Which is Irish for Cinco de Mayo.
Texas school official casually left gun in third grade bathroom stalls
In fairness, maybe it was just a Godfather reenactment gone terribly wrong ...
Tom Brady considering another comeback ... but that’s probably just the Metamucil talking.
Tiger Woods denies having ‘oral tenancy agreement’ with ex Erica Herman amid messy lawsuit Minds out of the gutter, people.
Tucker Carlson: ‘I hate Trump passionately’ If you think that’s bad,you should’ve heard it in the original Russian.
What banking crisis?
Warren Buffett spends close to $500 million on Occidental stock in 3 days
Or, in technical terms, ‘Fill ‘er up!’
Elon Musk is reportedly building his own town in Texas
To be called Muskow, Texas.
Oscar nominated songwriter Tems goes viral after blocking audience’s view at the Oscars with huge gown and wedding veil
If there was justice Kareem Abdul Jabbar will be sitting in front of Tems ... Forever.
George Santos continues to have no committee assignments
So, he can concentrate on defending his Indy 500 title.
A massive seaweed blob is headed to Florida — rotten stench included – Sun Sentinel … And then to NY to be indicted ... Read more columns by Paul Lander at humortimes.com.
18 HUMOR TIMES April, 2023
Headline News Section Aspiring to the High Standards Set by Cable News
Offensive: Jack & Jill. Image: Public Domain.
Photo: Gage Skidmore/Flickr.
Joe Pesci in “My Cousin Vinny.”
Forgot ‘Well-Regulated’ Insurrectionist Caucus
There is a lot of talk…
Mike Pence is protecting a wanted man...
but all the action is going the wrong way.
helped by a process that is painfully slow.
So you’d better pray…
No worries, MTG’s plan will solve everything...
that you and your children will be safe.
and she knows better than everyone.
April, 2023 HUMOR TIMES 19
Putin hates the attention…
but is charging ahead.
The mighty Russian bear may have bitten off too much… as the world picks sides...
and at least some of us call out evil. Putin may be discouraged...
but he feels he’s in the right…
and does not fear the U.S.
20 HUMOR TIMES April, 2023
Putin
Biden submitted a budget proposal… hoping for the best...
but the response was as expected.
Meanwhile, the little guy always loses out...
while politicians dither… and people suffer.
On the bright side, drug costs are being cut…
and people are getting back to their offices.
April, 2023 HUMOR TIMES 21 Economy
22 HUMOR TIMES April, 2023 Miscellaneous Mischief
April, 2023 HUMOR TIMES 23
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California Theater Creations Presents
Two Great Dramatic Radio Plays Read by California Stage Actors
Freely adapted and stupendously directed by Carol Cullens, the two 30 minute plays will be presented in ONE PERFORMANCE ONLY:
Broadway is My Beat – This play finds NY City Cop Danny Clover walking one of the most dangerous beats. He is tasked to solve two murders committed on the same night!
An Anti-War COMIC BOOK by Joel Andreas
Love, Honor, or Murder – This play finds an honest cab driver, Harry Blake in a mortal pickle. He has been challenged by his wife to commit murder in order to save his marriage.
Ralph Nader,
Endorsed by: Howard Zinn, Glenn Greenwald, Medea Benjamin, Susan Sarandon, Martin Sheen, Noam Chomsky & Woody Harrelson.
To order Addicted To War send $15: Frank Dorrel, PO Box 3261, Culver City, CA 90231 • 310-838-8131
Check out the New Website: www.addictedtowar.com
Both plays star nationally-revered actor Loren Taylor!
Sunday, March 26 at 2PM in the Three Penny Theater, 1723 25th St., Sacramento, CA 95818.
Tickets: $10 each.
Inquiries: calstage@gmail.com or 916-600-9536.
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CA
the Three Penny Theater at the R25 Arts Complex, home of California Stage 25th & R St, Midtown • Free parking • Tickets: CalStage.org • 916-451-5822 .
In
Loren Taylor
Why The U.S. Can't Kick Militarism