“When is the last time you heard a baby denounce racism? Never. They’re silent on the issue.” – Rex Huppke “defending” Ted Cruz, usatoday.com Issue #361
May, 2022
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Editor’s Letter
Only a Pawn in Their Game
Sure, we like to yuck it up in the Humor Times with some of the best political cartoonists in the world. But in this letter, I like to keep everyone grounded by doing my best “Debbie Downer” imitation. So here goes… Democracy is on the brink, as well as human civilization itself. (See what I mean?) That’s not hyperbole – not when you’re considering the long view. With Earth Day recently observed, and Memorial Day coming up, it would do us all well to look soberly at our situation and stop messing around. On one hand, some really good things are happening. Like the historic confirmation of our first black woman Supreme Court justice, efforts to hold would-be insurrections to account, and advances in alternative energy that could help save the planet, etc. But on the other hand, things are pretty bad. Well, downright awful. We had ugly, slanderous attacks against said justice – though she be immanently qualified and above reproach – by Senate Republicans who once again chose to align with the wrong side of history. Then there is the never-ending promotion of the “Big Lie” by most on the right, selfishly adhering to what most of them know is nonsense. They’re willing to do this just because they think it will benefit them politically, even at the very real risk of destroying democracy here at home. And, of course, there are always those greedy corporate interests, still clinging to the old way of doing things, just to make a buck here in the present while increasing the very real threat of inhalation by extreme changes in climate in the not-too-distant future. In the movies, when there’s an alien threat to the earth, nations come together to save the day. Maybe that would even happen in real life, but not, apparently, when the threat isn’t as easily discernable as huge alien spaceships hovering menacingly overhead. The threat is very real though, as most sane folks and all scientists who are not bought off by fossil fuel interests agree. But, darn it all, fighting this threat to human survival would require some inconveniences! We need to take a clue from the courageous Ukranians, who are putting up with a whole lot more than a few inconveniences and are not backing down. They are fighting for their very survival. And so should we.
Gender issues are used, it is plain...
for nothing more than the politician’s gain...
– James Israel Editor P.S. As a small publication in a challenging economy, we face a perpetual battle to survive. Please consider giving subscriptions, donating or becoming an ongoing patron at Check out our website at www .humortimes.com, as well as our subscription subdomain at subs.humortimes.com, and please share them widely, using the share buttons provided. Help spread the word that we provide an alternative to boring news coverage! Thank you.
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and the willfully ignorant, they remain...
The Humor Times® (ISSN 1937 299X), Vol. 31, Issue 361, is published monthly by the Humor Times, 7271 Lindale Dr, Sacramento, CA 95828. (Not our mailing address, see “postmaster.”) Periodicals Postage Paid at Sacramento, CA and additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to: Humor Times, P.O. Box 162429, Sacramento, CA 95816-2429. Subscriptions: subs.humortimes.com. Website: www. humortimes.com. Editor: James Israel. Publisher: Jim LeDoux. Email: info@humortimes.com. Phone: 916-758-8255. Printed by: Valley Oak Press, Inc., Galt, CA 95632. Contributors: Nick Anderson, Ruben Bolling, Bill Bramhall, Chris Britt, Jon Carter, Ken Catalino, Diane de Anda, John Deering, Michael Egan, Roger Freed, Walt Handelsman, Phil Hands, Joe Heller, Jim Hightower, David Horsey, Paul Lander, Chan Lowe, Mike Luckovich, Andy Marlette, David Martin, Joel Pett, Dan Piraro, Marshall Ramsey, Rob Rogers, Harley Schwadron, Drew Sheneman, Scott Stantis, Dana Summers, Dan Wasserman & others. Contributions: Send artwork/submissions to address or email above. The Humor Times (formerly the Comic Press News) is printed on recycled paper, using at least 60% post-consumer fiber. All contents ©2022. No part may be reproduced without permission.
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May, 2022
HUMOR TIMES
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Historic Confirmation (Opposed by the Historically Imbecilic) Today’s Republican Party simply could not help itself...
and predictably proceeded to act the fool. (SAD!)
Ted Cruz, bane of the Senate, stood out...
but he was hardly alone.
The American people deserve better...
yet the “party of Lincoln” chose the wrong side of history.
Thank goodness we are moving beyond their shortsightedness...
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HUMOR TIMES
and, ever so slowly, toward a more perfect union.
May, 2022
Supremely Disconcerting
Stop the Flush
Justice Thomas’ wife just wants to give him a leg up…
Democracy is a fragile thing...
requiring eternal vigilance...
and talk some sense into him, she says.
lest it be flushed away...
His court appearances certainly affirm her influence…
or otherwise destroyed.
and Senate Repubs regard him as the gold standard.
May, 2022
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The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews Lobbyist Ginni Thomas & Her Supreme Hubby By Dean Kaner Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews Ginni Thomas and her husband Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. ANNOUNCER: From under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show. JERRY DUNCAN: Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? Not really. My guests today are Ginni Thomas and her husband Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. caption: Ginni Thomas. Photo by Gage Skidmore. JERRY: Hello Ginni. GINNI THOMAS: Jerry. JERRY: And Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. CLARENCE THOMAS: Here come the Judge, here come the Judge. JERRY: (pounds gavel) Odor in the court. The interviews will now begin. JERRY: I introduce the dishonorable Ninny Thomas.
GINNI: It’s pronounced Ginni. JERRY: Whatever. You’re a long time supporter of the former disgraced President Donald Trump. So let’s begin with the January 6, 2020 insurrection. GINNI: You mean Clarence’s erection on January 6? CLARENCE: Hmm. I must have been thinking about Anita Hill. JERRY: Ginni. It’s no secret that you’ve supported White Supremacist groups like the Proud Boys. Even posting propaganda on social media. GINNI: Fake news. JERRY: Really? You wrote, “Biden crime family and ballot fraud co-conspirators are being arrested and detained for ballot fraud right now and over coming days. They will be living in barges off GITMO to face tribunals for sedition.” GINNI: I was joking. Don’t you have a sense of humor?
WWW.EDITORIALANDPOLITICALCARTOONS.COM
JERRY: I do. Your peeps, Ninny. Fewer teeth. More overalls. JERRY: Here’s more evidence about your participation on January 6. In a text to Chief of Staff Mark Meadows, you wrote, “It takes time for the army, who is gathering for his back.” How did you know and when did you know it? CLARENCE: Let me answer, Duncan. Ginni was not in her right mind that day. A Korean friend of ours had just died. He was So Yung. After that we Volodymyr Zelensky. Caricature by DonkeyHotey, flickr.com. decided to go straight. Became GINNI: What a coincidence. I graduated the new faces of the Teletubbies. from Creighton law school. GINNI: I’m Salt and Clarence is Pepper. JERRY: There you go. Maybe you can help People love my character. me out. CLARENCE: What?! Are you saying Salt GINNI: I’ll try. is more popular because it’s white? JERRY: What do lawyers do after they die? GINNI: Bingo! GINNI: I don’t know. CLARENCE: I can’t believe what I’m JERRY: They lie still. hearing. 45 years of marriage only to find out my honky wife is a Ku Klux Klan woman. CLARENCE: That’s my girl. GINNI: Yep. And I’m going to shove a GINNI: Will you forgive me, Clarence? burning cross up your rear end. CLARENCE: I hope you will forgive me. I JERRY: C’mon. You’re both a couple of just handed you a glue stick in stead of cretins. ChapStick. GINNI : ( s t r u g g l e s t o speak) Argh, argh, argh. JERRY: At least she can’t complain. Ginni and Clarence Thomas everyone.
Ted Cruz was right: Babies are super racist Dur ing the con fir ma tion hear ing of Su preme Court nominee Ketanji Brown Jackson, one senator had the guts to ask the question on every American’s mind. While grilling Jackson on critical race theory Tuesday, Sen. Ted Cruz de scribed a c h i l d r e n ’s b o o k c a l l e d “Antiracist Baby.” He turned his steely gaze to Jackson and asked the Harvard-educated veteran jurist if she believes “that babies are racist.” Some view ers won dered why a man who looks like he rubbed honey on his face then rolled on the floor of a barbershop would pose such a question. In fact, the collective eye roll was so intense the Earth briefly tilted off its axis. But I stood and cheered the bold senator from Texas/Cancun. He was speaking truth to power and addressing an issue few Amer i cans have ever been willing to face: Babies are incredibly racist... Let me ask you this. When is the last time you heard a baby denounce racism? Hmmm? Never. They’re silent on the issue. If babies aren’t racist, and if a clearly intelligent and serious U.S. senator is out there floating a possible epidemic of infant racism, don’t you think ba bies them selves would stand up, im me di ately fall down and then assure everyone they don’t have a racist bone in their soft and pliable bodies?... Think about it. You often find them wrapped in white sheets. (Coo Cluck Klan?) And if you introduce a white baby to a person of color and then that person leaves the room, the baby acts as though that person no longer exists. – Excerpted from a column by Rex Huppke, usatoday.com, 2022/03/23
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May, 2022
Butcher of Russia Putin is not the type to admit a mistake...
working hard to act the role of benevolent leader.
He insists he’s done nothing wrong...
and is only trying to help.
He’s promised to dig deep for solutions...
When he dies, he’ll be in good company...
May, 2022
and believes failure is not an option.
but ’til then, we have accommodations in mind. (continued)
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Butcher of Russia (continued) Putin, like Trump, has “only the best people”...
who tell him what he wants to hear...
and since the media doesn’t say otherwise, it must be true.
By all accounts, Russia’s flag continues to wave proudly...
as its army vanquishes the infidels.
and sanctions can only go so far...
8
In surrounding countries, things are quite tense...
as military might must be met with the same. (continued)
HUMOR TIMES
May, 2022
Butcher of Russia (conclusion)
Media on the Media
A range of reactions to the invasion have been expressed...
and it’s made an impact.
and many solemn statements have been made...
Meanwhile, Elon Musk continues his world takeover...
but actions speak louder than words.
and understands well what that means.
In the end, there must be a suitable resolution.
May, 2022
It was the slap heard ’round the world...
HUMOR TIMES
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Cartertoons • www.cartertoons.com
•
by Jon Carter
Cartertoons • www.cartertoons.com
•
by Jon Carter
‘We Report, You Decry!’ First Nation to Establish Universal Basic Income By Ted Holland, Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Service) Following the 48th Peoples’ revolution in its history, Le Republique of Shancroyde will become the first nation to guarantee a Universal Basic Income (UBI) for all it’s citizens.
According to newly appointed Prime Minister General Phillthee Jenytalya, the program will work as follows: At the beginning of the New Year (The Year of the Hummpe), each Shancroydian citizen will receive one million pieces of Schnoode, the basic monetary unit of Shancroyde. In addition, each citizen will receive 1000 pieces of Schnoode each month. The prime minister added that the program will be extended to anyone who can prove Shancroydian ancestry. To apply, one must mail the application, along with all assets that one has acquired in their current country of residence (cash,bonds, IRAs, 401Ks, cars, houses, etc) to the Royal Treasury. There are some drawbacks, however. The Prime Minister stated that the newly guaranteed wealth will put more responsibility on citizens. Anyone who loses their Schnoode will be deported, while anyone caught stealing will be immediately beheaded. Also, the million pieces of Schnoode places individuals within the bounds of the Shancroydian Luxury Tax of 105%.
Aspiring to the High Standards Set by Cable News
DOJ to Investigate Investigations That Go Nowhere Attorney General Merrick Garland pledges to get to the bottom of not getting to the bottom of so many investigations. By James Israel The Department of Justice announced today that they are starting yet another investigation, only this time, they’ll investigate their own shoddy investigations. The DOJ says it wants answers as to why their authority seems to be so flimsy. First, they say, they will investigate “our own sorry asses,” and later they intend to look into various state investigations that never produce anything either. This historic effort has been dubbed “Operation WTF,” and U.S. Attorney General Merrick Garland officially launched it in a Merrick Garland shows doubters he’s not sitting on hands. ary 6 commission has uncovered yet, but I press conference today. “We finally realized that nothing we did ever promise to look into it.” Meanwhile, Trump’s henchmen and accomseemed to amount to anything. Should President Biden have appointed someone with integ- plices to insurrection continue to avoid toothrity, instead of a wishy-washy old centrist like less contempt charges, since they never have to me, who simply wants to avoid confrontation at spend any time in jail or pay any price for ignoring them. After all, as Steve Bannon said, “I can any cost? We want answers!” “Despite so many investigations into his ac- simply utter the magic incantation, ‘executive tions, Donald Trump just keeps playing golf and privilege,’ and walk off scot-free. Why should I spouting nonsense to adoring crowds at rallies appear?” “It’s so great, only in Amer ica!” says around the country,” said Garland. “I don’t even know if I’ve acted on all the evidence the Janu- Bannon, the only person actually indicted for
Contempt of Congress so far. He remains free, however, along with all his insurrectionist pals, who are working to put safeguards in place to overturn future elections if Republicans should ever lose again. They are counting on an American public with a very short attention span to give them control of both houses of Congress again, so that they never have to face justice at all, and can proceed to quash all investigations into their actions for good. Just in case, however, they are putting “their people” in charge of elections on the state level, to correct any “mistakes” made by the voters. And, just as with contempt charges, they don’t expect to face any consequences for rigging elections. After all, what’s a little author i tar ian take over of de moc racy, when inflation is so bad? The Attorney General closed the press conference saying, “I promise, we’ll get to the bottom of all this not getting to the bottom of it stuff. Soon. Sometime in that ever-nebulous ‘near future,’ maybe after the midterms. Honest. Or, we might just quietly shelve it after a few months. Stay tuned!”
Pelosi Offers Putin Sex If He’ll Withdraw Confused, Pelosi clarified that he’d simply need to withdraw from Ukraine. By Ted Hol land, Dis patches from SNN (Slobovian News Network) Slobovian Secret Service operative Snee Keye Peete has retrieved an ultra-secretive and sensitive communique from the office of Democratic bigwig Speaker Nancy Pelosi. In a triple-coded message sent from Pelosi to Russian strongman Vladimir Putin, she states that if he would withdraw from Ukraine, she will fly to Moscow and give her body to him. Peete states that he inadvertently came across the message while decoding a communication sent from the mafia on the outlaw planet Zardoc plotting to fix the Publishers Clearing
Teenage Aliens on UFO Joyride Crash in Amish Country
Biden: Will Smith to Fly to Moscow and Slap Putin Silly
By Hala Dika Three teenage aliens who took their father’s UFO for a joyride crashed in Pennsylvania last month and have been living among the Amish ever since. “Seeing that their sit u a tion was bleak, and threatened on all sides by cit izenry brandishing shot guns,” said Amish patriarch, Eli Ladd, “we decided to protect them by welcoming them into our community. Provided they follow our rules, of course.” The teenagers were immediately fitted in traditional Amish dress, so they would not stand out. A difficult feat, seeing as they had very large heads. Thankfully, Amish hats went a long way toward overcoming this obstacle. “They are ex tremely help ful at barn raisings,” Eli went on, “since they are able to lift very heavy beams with their minds. Also, Bible study is more fun, as they can project images of the stories through their eyes.” When asked if this kind of advanced technology was not hypocritical to salt-of-the-earth Amish ways, Eli replied, “Well, there are no wires or gadgets, so what the hey?” Asked if he was afraid that the teenage super-beings might become amorous with their daughters, Eli answered, “Not really. They understand our traditions and are quite honorable. They may not be much to look at, but their higher intelligence and generosity has attracted a few of our girls. And their sense of humor is out of this world!” For their part, the aliens feel that they have been treated better in Amish country than in more technologically-advanced areas, where even before they landed they had been subject to fire-fights with military aircraft. Special religious laws keep the government from interfering, and fake beards keep the boys inconspicuous when they go into town to phone home.
By Ted Hol land, Dis patches from SNN (Slobovian News Network) On his recent visit to Europe, President Joe Biden remarked that, “Somebody ought to slap Putin and knock the snot out of him.” While watching the Oscars broadcast this past Sunday, the President suddenly realized his dream. After seeing actor Will Smith smack comedian Chris Rock upside his head, Mr. Biden immediately dispatched Secret Service agents to Los Angeles to scoop up Smith and fly him to Washington. Once there, Smith was informed by the President that his country and the world needed him.
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Headline News Section
The President then executed an Executive Order conscripting Smith into the CIA with the rank of Commander, and designated him as Amer ica’s first “Slap Some body Silly Laureate.” His first mission is to fly to Moscow and slap Putin silly. For cover, he will say he is scouting locations for the proposed TV show “NCIS Moscow.” Once that mission is completed, Will Smith has a list of other “slappees,” including: • Donald Trump • Clarence Thomas’ wife • Any Republican except Liz Chaney • Everybody at the Fox News Channel • Donald Trump • The fat guy in North Korea • Donald Trump SNN Words to Live By: “Don’t do unto others if they ain’t done unto you… ’cause you might get done in doin’ it.” – Fred Sanford, Sanford and Son
House Sweepstakes. Mr. Peete then contacted the world’s top news entities and offered the info to the highest bidder. According to insider sources, Fox News Channel offered him two million dollars cash, CNN offered 1.2 million dollars and Newsy offered $135.00. SNN had offered 200 dollars, a case of spam and 12 bottles of MD 20/20. The much sought-after communique was siphoned from Mr. Peete by SNN resident and Witch Doctoress Dr. Sweet Mama DoRite, who secretly put a telepathic gooba-gooba into Mr. Peete’s brain and sucked out the data.
SNN is hard at work to ascertain if Mr. Putin received the message and what his response would be. Early leaks suggest that his only condition is they’d have to do it on his horse.
Ripping the Headlines Today Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to By Paul Lander. All you need to do is follow one simple rule: barely pay attention and jump to conclusions. So, here are some headlines today and my first thoughts: Once a retail giant, Kmart nears extinction Yup, instead of “Attention, Kmart shoppers,” it’s “Attention, Kmart shopper.” President Biden released his tax returns Look for the ‘NY Times’ to soon do the same for former President Trump. Russia admits Black Sea flagship ‘sunk’ Al though, they ’re now going to just call it ‘a submarine.’
Assuming daily sales of 4K gallons at $0.05/gallon, your typical station might only bring home $200-300/day from gas Unless you count the gas you get from convenience store nachos, Slim Jim’s, etc. Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker get married ‘in secret’ Las Vegas ceremony’ …So se cret they almost did n’t tell the camera crew.
Passover, Ramadan and Easter overlap in 2022 Well, nothing says Passover and Ramadan like a sale on Honey Baked Ham!
Al Pacino steps out for dinner with Mick Jagger’s ex-girlfriend Noor Alfallah, 28 Someone has Great Grandaddy issues.
Molly Shannon locked herself in hotel bathroom to escape “relentless” Gary Coleman So, sounds like he thought she wanted to get a little.
A class of kindergartners accidentally drank tequila during snack time at a Michigan school So, the day after they needed to learn their AABC’s.
‘Don’t Say Gay’ bill passes Florida Senate I’m betting right wingers in France probably want to enact a ‘Don’t Say Gay Paree Law.’
Josh Mandel told MLK Jr’s daughter she doesn’t understand her father’s words … or, as it’s known ‘White Mansplaining’ …
Cardi B and Offset reveal name of their baby boy and share first photos showing his face I’m going with Times Roman or Comic Sans.
Texas Gov. Greg Abbott’s truck inspection policy created a logjam at the border that resulted in $240 million of spoiled produce Texas is now called ‘The Lone Star State,’ based on its Yelp reviews.
Syphilis cases up nearly 2000% in South Dakota Which is why the state Capitol name will now be known as ‘Got Lucky Pierre.’
Read more columns by Paul Lander at humortimes.com.
Surgeon General’s Warning: ‘Humor Times’ is Habit-Forming! The U.S. Surgeon General gave a stern warning to citizens about a national humor magazine called the Humor Times today, saying it was “habit forming” and could lead to serious bouts of belly-laughter – upsetting the habitually pessimistic and people with weaker stomachs. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy said he was only trying to protect Americans during a time when lung capacity must be safeguarded, noting that sudden laughter can temporarily empty the lungs. “We’ve all heard the line, ‘laughter is the best medicine,’” he added, “but is it, really? Perhaps too much of a good thing is just that – too much. Be careful out there, America.” (Ed. note: A subscription form can be found on page 3 – use at your own risk!)
HUMOR TIMES
May, 2022
Ever Again Putin learned long ago...
that might makes right...
no matter what you call it.
Ukraine’s courageous leader has called out the world...
for its inaction in dealing with Russia...
making clear that he needs more help than he’s getting.
The U.S. says its response packs a punch...
May, 2022
and Putin is finding his strategy is backfiring.
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Republicans Double Down Texas Gov. Abbott may be exaggerating successes...
In Florida, Matt Gaetz is preaching morality...
as much as he’s downplaying failures.
while in Georgia, Herschel Walker is Trump’s favorite...
as Republicans everywhere stick to what they know.
because their Dear Misleader has a magic touch...
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Trump can do no wrong in his party’s eyes...
and a one-track mind.
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May, 2022
The Prez Biden invited Obama over to highlight his accomplishments...
and is still trying to avoid the unavoidable...
while crafting a message to inspire confidence...
and distract attention.
He’s shown that he can reach deep down...
when action is needed.
His tried-and-true strategy of being all things to all people...
May, 2022
HUMOR TIMES
is working about as well as expected.
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The Hightower Lowdown
Feelin’ Alright
Democrats, Please Be Democrats! Everyone is tired of the virus, so naturally, it’ll just go away...
or we will.
Meanwhile, the availability of cannabis is increasing...
I think we can now say the obvious: The Republican Party has gone bull-goose bonkers. Its leaders have turned the once-proud GOP brand into an unprincipled gaggle of corporate profiteers, hatemongers and screwball conspiracy theorists. They’re so far-out that the Hubble Space Telescope can’t find them! But where is my Democratic Party? Here’s a transformative opportunity to forge a solid political coalition — a multiracial, urban-rural, farm-labor alliance based on fundamental principles and programs of fairness and opportunity for all. Isn’t that what the party says it stands for? This is the prime time to demonstrate it, to reach out and unite ordinary Americans behind a national agenda of lasting progressive change. It’s not like the party elders would have to start from scratch, for an energized, feisty movement of grassroots battlers against corporate greed and government injustice is already organizing, winning and growing popular support all across the country. But the national party’s old-line clique of big funders, paid consultants and corporate politicos shun the little-d democrats as unruly outsiders. Rather than welcoming and building on the exciting advances of these popular movements, the insiders keep hoping that the GOP’s goofiness and nastiness will turn off enough voters that Democrats can win by default. Meanwhile, the establishment insists that Dems only push modest, incremental reforms so as not to offend corporate funders or spook moderate Republicans. Hellooooo, brilliant strategists: A primary function of the Democratic Party is to offend the corporate powers! Also, there are only about six moderate Republicans left in America, so appeasing them is not a big win — especially when it costs you the support of grassroots voters eager for a politics bold e nough a nd big e n ou gh to end business-as-usual economics. As our own history teaches, it takes intentional gutsiness to create a politics that matters — one that actually advances America’s historic democratic promise. Republicans won’t do that. Will Democrats? The opposite of courage is not cowardice — it’s conformity. And right there’s the problem with the Big Money establishment that now controls the Party. This group certainly wants Democrats to be the majority party… but for what purpose?
JIM HIGHTOWER
Based on the policies they actually push, they seek “progress” without change. Go slow and go small, they urge, only offering policy tweaks that conform to the existing corporate structure. Their idea of change is what near beer is to beer — only less satisfying. Worse, when grassroots progressives put real, FDR-style, “Big D” Democratic ideas on the national agenda, the Dem hierarchy turns into a bunch of fraidy-cat Democrats, mewling that a federal living wage, a tax on billionaires, health care for all, break ing up monopoly power, strengthening unions, a nationwide child care program and other fundamental changes are too extreme. Such boldness, they cry, will frighten voters! They are, of course, wrong… and politically i n ept , f or such di r ect - be n e f i t , we’re-on-your-side changes in today’s corporate-run system are the Democrats’ most popular pro pos als. Polls con firm that this is especially true among working-class voters in small and medium-sized manufacturing towns, where Democrats have been getting creamed. In-depth surveys by a group called American Family Voices show that these people don’t think the party is too socialist or too “woke,” but rather too meek, too corporate, and especially MIA: missing in action. After all, they’ve seen CEOs move their decent-paying jobs out, watched monopolies and Wall Street squeeze the lifeblood out of family farm opportunities and witnessed Amazon and Walmart eating Main Street alive. Where, they ask, is the Democratic Party that once stood up for us? Contrary to the contrived “wisdom” of party elites, these people despise big corporations, love unions, and have minimal interest in the GOP’s culture war issues. They yearn for a party that’ll join the grassroots battling the bastards and fight for a no-BS agenda of economic fairness. The question they have for Democrats is basic: Do you just intend to hold office… or use it?
but access to life-saving medicines is at a premium.
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HUMOR TIMES
May, 2022
Economic Indicators Tax day never fails...
to highlight differences between the classes.
It’s a real power struggle...
that politicians need to get a clue about...
because change won’t happen without agitation.
Inflation is obliterating any small income gains...
and it takes real survivor skills...
May, 2022
to understand and react responsibly.
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Miscellaneous Mischief
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May, 2022
May, 2022
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California Stage Best Beer in Town
Brewed in Sacramento!
Theater Creations
Hoppy Hour: Sun-Wed 9:00-close Thurs-Sat 10:00-close All day Monday!
Hoppy's Railyard Kitchen & Hopgarden 1022 2nd St. in Old Sacramento • 916-451-4677 Jeanette Midori Okazaki, DDS, Inc. • (916) 329-3400 2525 K Street, Suite 305, Sacramento • Most insurance plans accepted www.dentalandholistichealth.com
Family Dentistry with Tender Loving Care. Traditional dentistry with holistic options offered in a warm, caring environment. Acupuncture • Mercury Free • Cerec Crowns Mercury Separators • GREEN Dentistry • Surgically Clean Air Acupuncture is offered for relaxation, anesthesia, pain control and healing.
Holistic Resource Referral In keeping with holistic philosophy, we begin each day with our Healing Circle. We do conscious breath-work, meditation and affirmations for our patients and ourselves to create healing, transformation and peace on our planet.
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Don’t cry about the news, laugh about it, with the Humor Times! Order online for up to $4 off! Or use the handy coupon on page 3 (or write the recipients’ names and addresses clearly on a piece of paper), include a check or money order for $26.95 per subscription (or just $9.95 for the downloadable PDF edition), payable to the Humor Times, and mail to:
Humor Times • P. O. Box 162429 Sacramento, CA 95816 • HumorTimes.com
Why Don’t You Sit on My Lap? 8pm, Fri and Sat, May 27 & 28 $10 donation First reading of a new play, come in and take part. Give your feedback for the production! Based on a true Sacramento area story. One challenging student. One burned-out teacher. One ill-advised comment. The drama isn’t staying in the classroom. More to come on the 2022 season!
In the California Stage Theater, 25th & R St, Midtown • Free parking Tickets & Reservations: CalStage.org