“Fascism is an ideology based on racial authoritarianism and violence.” – Chauncey DeVega Issue #362
June, 2022
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Editor’s Letter
Dizzy with Disney
I can’t say it any better than Seth Meyers did on his show Late Night with Seth Meyers on May 16th, so I’ll just quote him here:
DeSantis has a way of bringing the vibe down...
We live in a country — and I don’t know when it happened — where an 18-year-old boy goes into a gun dealership to buy an assault weapon, and it’s a routine transaction. Under the same legal system that won’t let a person buy a six-pack of Bud Light because it would be dangerous. But an assault rifle, that’s routine now. The implication is that 18-year-old boys go into that gun dealer and buy weapons of war regularly. When a cable-news host opens his show with a red-faced rant about white people being replaced, that’s considered a typical episode of that show. Routine and typical. Words like “shocking” and “stunning” are slowly draining out of the conversation about mass shootings, and words like “routine” and “typical” are taking their place. I don’t know what this means, but it feels like bad news on top of all the bad news. The usual voices are on TV today blaming the dark corners of the internet, video games, and offering thoughts and prayers. And that, for sure, is routine and typical. People are say ing, “We should concern ourselves with mental-health issues, rather than gun control or motive.” And maybe that’s true in some cases, but in this case, the motive was crystal clear. This shooter is a white supremacist. And I’m sad that hearing that phrase, “The shooter is a white supremacist,” has also become routine. Incredibly sad. Amber Ruffin, a writer and performer on the show, then sang a rewrite of the uptempo ditty, “It’s a Good Day,” saying, “I tried everything else. Maybe a little song will do it?” She ended each verse with something that didn’t rhyme or fit musically, but fit the situation very well, like, “It’s a good day for you to denounce white supremacy!” A humorously beautiful and poigniant way of saying: get off your ass, America, we’ve got to end this carnage of hate and racism. – James Israel, Editor
and stomping until he gets his way...
P.S. I wanted to tell you about a fundraiser for Will Durst, the great political comedian and dear friend to the Humor Times, having headlined events of ours and written for us for most of our history, until his stroke in October of 2019. Will needs your help with a GoFundMe campaign to pay his medical bills. Please donate if you can: https: //gofund.me/dc361829. And now, my usual plea for your support of the Humor Times: As a small publication in a challenging economy, we face a perpetual battle to survive. Please consider giving subscriptions, donating or becoming an ongoing patron at https://www .patreon.com/humortimes. Check out our website at www .humortimes.com, as well as our subscription subdomain at subs.humortimes.com, and please share them widely, using the share buttons provided. Help spread the word that we provide an alternative to boring news coverage! Thank you! NOTE TO SUBSCRIBERS: First of all, thank you so much for subscribing to the Humor Times. Your support is our lifeblood. We would like to ask that if you subscribed through an online magazine agency such as magazines.com or others, to please set your renewal to go directly through us, today. We are happy they brought you to us, but they take a big cut, and our expenses remain the same. So it would help a lot if, now that you found us, you renewed directly. You can set it up now (best) and not be charged until renewal time. Type subs.humortimes.com into your browser, or use the QR code in the form below, or contact us by phone, email or mail. To check if your account is direct, look at the address label on the back cover. After your name, you will see two numbers: one beginning with “S” and one with “D”. “S” is your subscription number, and it has a dash and another letter after it. That denotes Direct (“D”) or Agent (“A”). If it’s “A”, you subscribed through an agent. To make the change, login to our site (above) and scroll down on your account page to “modify your account” and use the link provided. Or contact us. The price is the same if you choose to auto-renew, as happens with agencies. We hope you will opt to go direct! By the way, the other number on the label, starting with “D”, is the issue number with which your subscription comes due.The current issue number is on the front cover, upper left.
but it’s not a good look...
The Humor Times® (ISSN 1937 299X), Vol. 31, Issue 362, is published monthly by the Humor Times, 7271 Lindale Dr, Sacramento, CA 95828. (Not our mailing address, see “postmaster.”) Periodicals Postage Paid at Sacramento, CA and additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to: Humor Times, P.O. Box 162429, Sacramento, CA 95816-2429. Subscriptions: subs.humortimes.com. Website: www. humortimes.com. Editor: James Israel. Publisher: Jim LeDoux. Email: info@humortimes.com. Phone: 916-758-8255. Printed by: Valley Oak Press, Inc., Galt, CA 95632. Contributors: Nick Anderson, Ruben Bolling, Bill Bramhall, Chris Britt, Jon Carter, John Deering, Hala Dika, Michael Egan, Walt Handelsman, Phil Hands, Joe Heller, Jim Hightower, Ted Holland, David Horsey, Dean Kaner, Paul Lander, Ralph Lombard, Mike Luckovich, Andy Marlette, Joel Pett, Dan Piraro, Marshall Ramsey, Rob Rogers, Steve Schneider, Harley Schwadron, Drew Sheneman, Scott Stantis, Dana Summers, JC Wade, Dan Wasserman & others. Contributions: Send artwork/submissions to address or email above. The Humor Times (formerly the Comic Press News) is printed on recycled paper, using at least 60% post-consumer fiber. All contents ©2022. No part may be reproduced without permission.
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June, 2022
HUMOR TIMES
3
Supreme Arrogance Conservatives on the Court were quite concerned...
about their reputation...
and Mitch McConnell was aghast.
After careful consideration...
the justices decided that a marriage of convenience...
which is not the same as the people.
4
would get them where they were going...
Mission accomplished, say Republicans. (continued)
HUMOR TIMES
June, 2022
Right-wing justices like to claim that they are “originalists”…
and know best what the founders intended.
What they have unleashed…
they have done with the ultimate hypocrisy.
But it’s liberals who are out of bounds, they say...
and so deserve to be trolled.
Women in red states may want to reassess their vote...
because the assault on our rights has just begun.
June, 2022
HUMOR TIMES
5
The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh By Dean Kaner Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host in ter views Su preme Court Jus tice Brett Kavanaugh. ANNOUNCER: Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show. JERRY DUNCAN: Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? No, it’s not. Roe v. Wade may be overturned. This is the worst thing that has happened since Donald Trump’s mother forgot to use birth control. Here to explain everything is a member of the Supreme Court, Justice Brett Kavanaugh. Good morning, Justice Kavanaugh. JUSTICE BRETT KAVANAUGH: Call me Brett. Mind if I drink beer during the interview? I like beer. Do you like beer? JERRY: No. I don’t. KAVANAUGH: I bet you smoke dope, Duncan. JERRY: The only dope that comes to mind is you.
JERRY: Help me understand. A draft opinion by Justice Alito was written on February 10 about overturning Roe v. Wade. KAVANAUGH: Yep. He reached the same conclusion as us conservatives on the Court. JERRY: That a woman doesn’t have the legal right over her own body. Isn’t that it, Brett? KAVANAUGH: My lips are sealed. JERRY: Senator Susan Collins said she never thought you’d go this far. You said in your Senate confirmation hearing that Roe v. Wade is set precedent in our laws. KAVANAUGH: (drunk) I said, “Vladimir Putin is my President.” And by the way, Collins big nose grew bigger after she bored everyone to death. I can’t tell if Senator Collins has a small head and a big nose or a big nose and a small head. I’ve called for a hearing on the matter. JERRY: Christine Blosey Ford alleged that you tried to rape her in the 80’s when you two were in high school.
WWW.EDITORIALANDPOLITICALCARTOONS.COM
KAVANAUGH: Liar. Wannabe cheerleader. JERRY: Silence. This interview will come to order. KAVANAUGH: I’ll have a cold Bud and pretzels. JERRY: As you know, I’m against torture. That’s what three women have lived through the past three decades. All because you were a bad boy. Alleged victim Julie Swetnick claimed you were spiking drinks in high school so girls couldn’t resist. KAVANAUGH: That’s not torture. Boys night out, Duncan. Brett Kavanaugh. Caricature by DonkeyHotey, flickr.com. JERRY: I know a little something about “torture.” My dead mother visits me evJERRY: Sure. ery day. KAVANAUGH: Never mind. I can’t deliver JERRY: Alleged victim Deborah Ramirez it. said that you exposed yourself and thrust your JERRY: Brettster. Why doesn’t a rooster shlong against her face after heavy drinking at a wear pants? college party in 1984. KAVANAUGH: No clue. KAVANAUGH: I was trying to get her atJERRY: Because his pecker is on his head, tention, because she forgot her purse. Deborah just like yours. should thank me. JERRY: You and the conservative Court JERRY: Many people said you were a bother me. 25% of American women will have sloppy drunk. An alcoholic if you will. an abortion by age 45. And Roe v. Wade could KAVANAUGH: That’s a lie. Alcoholics eventually be outlawed in every state. need a drink, but I’ve always had one. Hey, KAVANAUGH: (close to pass ing out) Duncan. Wanna hear an abortion joke? Abortion died? Wow. Only 45. JERRY: If the Court ruling does become the law of the land, thousands of women in dozens of states will certainly be unable to access women’s health care. Right, Brettster? Brettster? KAVANAUGH : ( s i n g s drunk) How dry I am, how wet I’ll be, If I don’t find, the bathroom key. JERRY: Brett Kavanaugh everyone. KAVANAUGH: (passed out) Burrrp! The Jerry Duncan Show (c) Dean B. Kaner
Voting choices now for sensible centrists should be a slam-dunk Thanks to the ter ri fy ing clarity of extremism at the barricades, voting choices now for sensible centrists should be a slam-dunk, vs. that time past when two in tel lec tually-de fen si ble par ties held sway... While na tional sta bil ity hangs by a thread, thin ner even than in 2020, our talk fest is pop ulated by ideologues (right and left), connivers, trolls and few of us grounded realists loyal to what is real and viable... Really, are cannibal pedophiles limited to the Democratic Party? Indefensible nonsense, reckoned by the creeps at Mad i son Cawthorn’s madcap parties. When deranged Trumpers cravenly “believe” in alternative realities, delusions turn to pro fes sional con niv ance, funded by fat cats who care less about cul tural di vides than low taxes and lower state interference... Re al ists span the philosophic gamut, from fact-driven conservatives (the surge of ardent Never Trumpers) to less involved centrists (busy elsewhere) to prudent liberal/progres sive/left ists who fa vor hu man ad vances, bat tling against racism, for equitable taxation, optimal opportunities, and government to equalize the playing field… Being grounded, prag matic, and rights-oriented adults, realists lean Democratic not because they ignore the many hypocritical blun ders... but because they rec og nize his toric advances that define civilization. — Robert S. Becker, May 2022, NationOfChange.org
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HUMOR TIMES
June, 2022
Privately Owned Free Speech The world’s newly richest man coveted Twitter...
to do with as he pleases...
so, what could go wrong?
June, 2022
Like his orange friend, he says he alone can do it...
because he alone can afford it.
The reaction was predictable...
but some say he has a benevolent motive.
One thing’s for sure, there is no escape.
HUMOR TIMES
7
Putin’s Folly Putin is proud of himself...
and all the buzz he’s created for Russia.
He expresses a deep optimism...
about righting the ship of state.
He keeps the public informed...
like a captive audience...
while maintaining total control.
8
Meanwhile, America sends its best.
HUMOR TIMES
June, 2022
No Planet B
Replace Hate It’s a scourge upon our nation...
We humans had it good...
and these racist terrorists are not “lone wolves.”
until we let greed and insanity take over.
In fact, their indoctrination by right-wing hate groups...
We must change...
has only been reinforced by certain politicians & media.
or let an extinct life form extinguish us.
June, 2022
HUMOR TIMES
9
Cartertoons • www.cartertoons.com
•
by Jon Carter
Cartertoons • www.cartertoons.com
•
by Jon Carter
‘We Report, You Decry!’
Elon Musk Makes Bid to Buy America By Ted Holland, Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)
With his bid to buy Twitter on hold, Elon Musk, the world’s richest human being, has turned his attention to purchasing something else he has always wanted to own… The United States of America. With an es timated net worth of 236 billion dollars, Musk did not approach the Biden administration about the impending purchase. Instead, he ap proached the Chinese Bank of Bong, Elon Musk pulls out the Quong rocket in his pocket. which owns 42% of America’s 30 trillion dollar national debt. According to SNN financial reporter Robin Peter T’Payepaulle, Mr. Musk has offered the bank 87 cents on the dollar to buy America, in a lump cash payment to be transferred immediately. He told the bank that it would take 358 centuries to have America pay off the debt. According to Mr. Musk, he would fire President Biden and dissolve Congress, and run the country himself. “Run it the right way. America could be a money-making entity!” he exclaimed. Reportedly, Mr. Musk is not the only billionaire interested in buying the country. Slobovia’s richest woman, Greta Grabbo, is also looking into it, as is American Wyatt Slurpe, the snow cone king.
By JC Wade Late last week, in a hastily convened news conference, former president Donald Trump endorsed Dr. Oz, who is running for the U.S Senate in Penn syl va nia. Said Trump, “I am endorsing this wizard because Oz did an unbelievable job as the mayor of Emerald City, but he didn’t believe he was in Kansas anymore.” Trump added that Oz is more qualified than the other six “losers” who are seeking the Republican nomination, saying, “A lot of people are saying that Dr. Oz is like a wizard and that if ever, oh ever, a wiz there was, Oz is one because, because, because of all the wonderful things he does. Quite frankly it’s unbelievable.” The former president went on to mention that Dr. Oz has a Doctorate in Thinkology from the Universitatus Committeatum, E Pluribus Unum where he studied under Professor Albus
By Steve Schneider Associate Justice Brett Kavanaugh accidentally leaked the explosive draft of a Supreme Court decision that would end the Constitutional right to abortion, an investigation by Fox News revealed. “Brett pulled over at a bar to relieve himself after he drank several beers on his way home from the Supreme Court,” the fair and balanced network reported. The investigation reveals that a plainclothes private eye, likely hired by Hillary Clinton, sat in wait for Kavanaugh at a bar which he is known to frequent. “The private eye talked it up with Brett and bought him a few rounds.” Kavanaugh then went to the restroom with his laptop, which contained the draft opinion. Aware that Kavanaugh was vulnerable, the pri-
By Steve Schneider Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh broke down as angry protesters picketed outside his Chevy Chase home recently, while the crowd railed against the infamous leaked abortion draft de ci sion. An a lysts in di cate Kavanaugh may be the deciding fifth vote in the much-anticipated ruling.
By Ralph Lombard Criticizing President Biden’s response to the Russian invasion of Ukraine as “weak and ineffective,” Donald Trump is now advocating the use of “dangerous fruits” as a way to counter Russian aggression. “Flying fruit can be a very dangerous thing. It can actually kill you!” Trump explained. “I’m talking grapefruit, pineapples, and especially peaches,” he said. “Even tomatoes. Because they have seeds, which makes them a fruit, and that’s a fact because I’ve got a really big brain. “It’s no coincidence that Putin began his invasion in February, much too early for watermelon season and way too late for the pumpkin harvest. And pumpkins are dangerous fruits too because they have seeds like tomatoes and you can grab them by the stem and hurl them over incredible distances. And you can even carve scary faces on them to terrify and demoralize your enemy. And believe me, most Russians have never even heard of Halloween, so this can be very disorienting.
12
Dr. Oz, showing the size of his brain, which explains why he needs a new one. Image by David Berkowitz.
Dumbledore, so he is a very stable genius, like himself. And he praised Oz for his organizing of the successful witch hunt, where the Wicked Witch of the West was liquidated, which the for-
mer president said was “very resourceful, that I can tell you.” Trump followed up by saying that the other candidates could all use a brain, being victims of disorganized thinking. He pointed out that in his opinion, “one candidate was a clinking, clanking, clattering collection of caliginous junk,” while another was nothing but “a bellowing bale of bovine fodder” and the others “lacked heart and/or courage.” Dr. Oz then stepped up to the microphone and proclaimed, “I do believe in Trump, I do believe in Trump. I do, I do, I do.” He concluded by click ing his heals to gether and say ing, “There’s no place like the Senate, there’s no place like the Senate.” Oz is expected to win the Republican primary, since he has also been endorsed by the Lollypop Guild.
New Laptop Scandal: Second Leak Shows First Leak Caused by Brett Kavanaugh
Trump Suggests Arming Ukrainians with ‘Dangerous Fruits’
Ginni Thomas. Photo by Gage Skidmore.
Aspiring to the High Standards Set by Cable News
Trump Endorses Wizard ‘Because of the Wonderful Things He Does’
Ginni Thomas Rescues Kavanaugh from Angry Protesters
A source close to the Kavanaugh family said Kavanaugh’s wife phoned fellow conservative Justice Clarence Thomas to ask for help. Thomas knew what to do. He asked his activist wife to “wear a disguise, get in and extract Brett from his surrounded house, and bring him home to us. ” Thomas added, “We need to conduct our own type of Operation Rescue. We need to help Brett stay the course until the Court releases its abortion decision.” A longtime judicial observer said Thomas was the right person to offer Kavanaugh support. He said, “Both men went through hell to get approved for a seat on the Supreme Court. They had to listen in public as women testified about how they were treated by them.” But a sec ond ex pert spec u lated that Kavanaugh may not be completely at home with Jus tice and Mrs. Thomas, say ing, “Kavanaugh has said under oath that he enjoys drinking beer. I don’t think Clarence and Ginni Thomas imbibe.” Reached later that night, Ginni Thomas, the wife of Clarence, said she does not serve beer in her home. “We run a good Christian home,” she told a prying reporter. Later, Brett Kavanaugh was spotted at a pub in the Thomas’ neighborhood, drunk and ranting about the loss of his “right to privacy.”
Headline News Section
vate eye followed him and scooped up the laptop, the report says. A political expert quoted by Fox News condemned liberals and Democrats for what happened. “Hil lary can’t get over her loss to Donald Trump in 2016. She will stop at nothing to upend our drive for a conservative, male, white, Chris tian domination of the United States.” A liberal political observer who once worked for Clinton offered a different perspective. “Conservatives made a big deal when Hunter Biden left a laptop at a repair shop. Now the digital shoe is on the other foot, and they don’t like it. They want to end democracy as we know it, take away our right to abortion, speed, and drink beer as liberally as they please.” Clinton, who was cited by Fox News for be-
Brett Kavanaugh. Photo by Fred Schilling.
ing behind the “plot to abort the destruction of abortion rights,” was at a wine-tasting festival in California. Her designated driver said her boss would have to study the report before commenting.
Ripping the Headlines Today Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to By Paul Lander. All you need to do is follow one simple rule: barely pay attention and jump to conclusions. So, here are some headlines today and my first thoughts: People protest outside Brett Kavanaugh’s house … or, maybe they heard there’s a kegger! Sweden hasn’t gone to war since Napoleon Biden: I stood with Sweden then, I stand with them now. Judge arrested after assaulting ex-husband in front of their children Amber Heard’s a judge?
Judge ‘surprised’ at Trump claim he has no documents sought in probe … no word if he literally ate his own words … Happy 62nd, Bono Now the thing he hasn’t found that he’s looking for are his eyeglasses sitting on the top of his head.
Analysis: Dinesh D’Souza’s ‘2000 Mules’ offers the least-convincing election-fraud theory yet 2,000 mules? 2001, if you count the Jackass who made it.
Charles Herbster, the Trump-backed candidate who is accused of groping 8 women lost Too bad because one more and he gets a free order of fries and a medium drink at ‘Feel A Chick-fil-A.’
Susan Collins called police over a chalk drawing asking her to ‘please’ support abortion rights How long before Jussie Smollett has two guys chalk a threatening remark on his sidewalk?
Delta rewrites statement that called COVID-19 ‘ordinary seasonal virus’ … To emphasis the point, they’re changing their name to Omicron Airlines.
Twitter’s spam-bot, which Elon Musk says he’s paused deal over, goes back nearly a decade Elon’s concerned about Twitter bots and spam? C’mon, like he believed 82 million people loved him for who he is.
Melania Trump slams Vogue for not putting her on the cover Maybe …. if they had a centerfold.
Will & Jada ‘trying to salvage’ relationship post-Oscars slap; have had ‘problems for years’ Let’s face it, Will and Jada are now the worst Mr. and Mrs. Smith since Brad and Angelina broke up.
Victoria’s Secret has hired its first male model. He ‘could not be more stoked about it’ Now we’re talking a gender reveal party! Ray J says Kim K sex tape ‘leak’ was deal between couple & Kris Jenner Or, as it’s also known, the pilot for ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians.’
Read more columns by Paul Lander at humortimes.com.
Some would classify the former president as “dangerous fruit” himself.
“Bananas are very dangerous as well,” the presidential reject continued, “Not only can they poke you in the eye, but they can also be thrown like boomerangs. I saw that in a movie once. And banana peels, you know, are actually the slipperiest things ever invented! So what better way to stop an advancing army? As a
matter of fact, if I had been in charge the Russian invasion never would have happened, because I would have established a banana peel perimeter all along the border. That way, if Russia attacked, they’d slip and never be able to get up again. And Ukrainian forces could then pelt them with all types of dangerous fruits, and maybe even veg e ta bles. I would not take anything off the table, okay? “And then,” Trump con cluded, “Af ter Ukraine won the war, they could celebrate my great and tremendous victory with a delicious fruit salad for everyone. Or better yet, let them eat fruitcake. And then do me a favor though.”
HUMOR TIMES
Surgeon General’s Warning: Humor Times Habit-Forming! The U.S. Surgeon General gave a stern warning to citizens about the Humor Times today, saying it was “habit forming” and could lead to serious bouts of belly-laughter – upsetting the habitually pessimistic and people with weaker stomachs. “We’ve all heard the line, ‘laughter is the best medicine,’” he added, “but is it, really? Perhaps too much of a good thing is just that – too much. Be careful out there, America.” (Ed. note: A subscription form can be found on page 3 – use at your own risk!)
June, 2022
Dems Hope springs eternal for Democrats...
as they careen towards the midterms.
They plan to run on their accomplishments...
but there’s a major obstacle...
that could blow up in their faces.
Things are looking up, they say...
as they look ahead...
June, 2022
while killing it in the present.
HUMOR TIMES
13
Repubs Republicans like to pretend they’re something they’re not...
but they can’t cover their destructive tracks.
They pretend to be moral leaders...
but are full of contradictions.
Their candidates will literally do anything...
to gain their boss’ approval...
but it’s not doing them much good.
14
In response, all they can do is spit venom.
HUMOR TIMES
June, 2022
Stretched Thin Market forces are tearing us apart...
as frustrations mount.
It’s getting scary out there...
in more ways than one.
Now there’s even more bad news...
and it calls for action.
Meanwhile, millions are burdened with unfair debt...
June, 2022
but don’t qualify for government assistance.
HUMOR TIMES
15
The Hightower Lowdown
Mask-erade MAGA types took a victory lap...
when the mask mandate was rescinded.
Now anti-jabbers need a new excuse...
The Corporate Connection to the ‘War on Women’ The most aggressive and virulent right-wing attacks in the war on women today involve elim i nat ing women’s re pro duc tive rights. Again and again, we’re seeing small, pious, tightly organized, male-dominated groups in our society insisting that they are the chosen ones, the autocrats ordained to rule over all women on the deeply personal, intrinsically private matter of choosing (for different and difficult reasons) whether or not to seek an abortion. Ironically, these authoritarians are mostly self-proclaimed small-government conservatives, yet they demand that the government be given practically unlimited power to control the minds and intrude most intimately into the bodies of women. American culture has progressed from “Father Knows Best” to the birth control pill, then to Roe v. Wade, on to the emergence of women as bosses and powerful congressional leaders and to the likelihood that females will soon rise all the way to the American presidency. In the quick span of a half-century, women have organized and mobilized to achieve a more democratic social order that includes sexual freedom, rising economic independence, greater visibility in public life and a heightened control of their own destiny. The struggle is not, as the Right wing piously claims, about some precise time limit for abortions or “protecting” the health of pregnant women, but about reasserting power over uppity females. If a woman can be barred from controlling her own uterus, then everything else she thinks she controls is in doubt. Yet, in a recent Gallup poll, 80% of Americans said abortion should be legal in all or most cases, with less than a fifth supporting the anti faction. So, what gives? It’s not what gives — but who. There’s a surprising funding source that surreptitiously supports the no-abor tion zeal ots: cor po rate America. The involvement of these superrich entities has drawn practically zero media coverage, and you certainly won’t see corporations up front at rallies or proudly listing their brand names as sponsors of anti-choice groups. But who do you think financed and helped organize the hundreds of legislative, gubernatorial, congressional and judicial campaigns of current officeholders who’re now pounding women with the harshest, most oppressive and goofiest laws against reproductive rights and equality?
to go along with their same ol’ denialism.
16
HUMOR TIMES
JIM HIGHTOWER
The Koch network of corporate billionaires is one stealth backer. Also, the long list of corporate blue-chip funders, the dark money conduit of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, and other storehouses of corporate cash regularly disburse truckloads of Big Business dollars across the country to elect those extremist candidates. Not that top corporate executives actually agree with the war on women. But they also don’t care if abortion is outlawed, because they’re rich and can qui etly ar range any abortions their families choose. Brand-name corporations willingly finance hordes of anti-choice candidates as part of an obscenely cynical political bargain in which “pro-life” morphs into “pro-corporate.” The greed-heads need bone headed can di dates who’ll go to ex tremes (“Pro tect the holy sperm!”) to gin up their ideological base, get elected and then dutifully serve the corporate interests. The same corporate giants also finance the Amer i can Leg is la tive Ex change Council (ALEC), which has written and pushed many bills to take reproductive rights away from women. But another well-funded group, Americans United for Life (AUL), has become a primary legislative front group for the anti-choicers, hawking the most extreme program. It’s not only intent on criminalizing abortion, but it was also the instigator in 2011 of the national witch hunt trying to destroy Planned Parenthood. Claiming to be a “charity,” AUL shyly and slyly refuses to tell us where it gets its money. Anti-abortion absolutists like AUL, along with yahooing legislators and Supreme Court justices who serve them, are exultant: “We’re win ning ev ery thing!” they ex claim. A two-legged ego like Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis has even cal cu lated that he can ride the women-bashing wave all the way to the White House in 2024. But sometimes you lose when you “win,” because you get to sipping your own bathwater and thinking it’s Champagne. As an old Texas saying puts it: “Don’t piss off momma. If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” And momma sure ain’t happy about losing her reproductive rights. In particular, it’s the youn ger gen er a tion — women as well as men — who’re newly focused on this abusive power elite. As my longtime friend Cecile Richards, former president of Planned Parenthood, correctly called it: “They have energized a whole new generation of young activists, and for that I’m grateful.” It’s that movement that matters. It’s fueled by the democratic populist spirit of ordinary but strong women who will not be put down.
June, 2022
Can’t Really Say Empty Greene, er, M.T. Greene had to appear in court...
which puts them in a class by themselves...
and begs the question, what do they have to hide?
The party is under a lot of stress these days...
as even top leaders are in trouble with the law.
It comes down to what you believe in...
June, 2022
but Republicans are still ignoring lawful subpoenas...
or refuse to believe.
HUMOR TIMES
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Miscellaneous Mischief
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HUMOR TIMES
June, 2022
June, 2022
HUMOR TIMES
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Why Don’t You Sit on My Lap? 8pm, Fri and Sat, May 27 & 28 $10 donation First reading of a new play, come in and take part. Give your feedback for the production! Based on a true Sacramento area story. One challenging student. One burned-out teacher. One ill-advised comment. The drama isn’t staying in the classroom. More to come on the 2022 season!
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