“What I claim is to live to the full the contradiction of my time, which may well make sarcasm the condition of truth.” -- Roland Barthes Issue #277
“World’s Funniest News Source”
Jan./Feb. 2015 (About half th a subscrip at with tion)
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HUMOR TIMES
Jan./Feb. 2015
Editor’s Letter Happy new year, and welcome to Volume 24 of the Humor Times! In April, we’ll celebrate the 24th anniversary of the the publication. We hope to continue another 24 years, and with your help we can. Please help us to spread the ‘gospel’ of political humor by giving subscriptions as gifts, telling others about us online and in person, and sharing issues with your friends, family and coworkers. We have created an online fundraiser (see ad to the right) to help raise some funds for much-needed improvements, equipment, ongoing expenses, and to help market the publication nationally. Please go to http://www.patreon.com /humortimes and check it out, and share the site on Facebook, Twitter, by email and any other way you can. This issue is a combined January/February issue, so the next one will be the March issue. If you’re a subscriber, don’t worry, you will still get the same number of issues you paid for. We need to take some time to work on the fundraising operations – thank you for your understanding and support. It’s always been a challenge to keep a small publication healthy and profitable, even before the age of the internet. As evidenced by the thousands of publications folding over the last decade or so, it is even more challenging now. We are proud of our track record and longevity, and will continue to do all we can to keep the Humor Times strong. Thank you for reading, and please share the Humor Times any way you can. See you in March! – James Israel Editor
Please Note: This is a combined January/February issue. The next one will be the March issue, and will come out before the first of March. If you are a subscriber, don’t worry, you will still get the same number of issues. Thank you!
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The Humor Times® (ISSN 1937 299X), Vol. 24, Issue 277, is published monthly by the Humor Times, 3126 2nd Ave, Sacramento, CA 95817. Periodicals Postage Paid at Sacramento, CA and additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to Humor Times, P.O. Box 162429, Sacramento, CA 95816-2429. Editor: James Israel. Publisher: Jim LeDoux. Email: info@humortimes.com. Phone: 916-455-1217. Printed by: Gold Country Printing, Auburn, CA 95603. Contributors: P. Beckert, Steve Benson, Jeff Boldt, Ruben Bolling, Chris Britt, Jon Carter, Paul Combs, Will Durst, Michael Egan, John Glynn, Walt Handelsman, Jim Hightower, David Horsey, Ben Krull, Paul Lander, Dick Locher, Chan Lowe, Mike Luckovich, Gary Markstein, Lee Mays, Jack Ohman, Dan Piraro, Marshall Ramsey, Rob Rogers, Jay Schiller & Greg Cravens, Harley Schwadron, Drew Sheneman, Scott Stantis, Dana Summers, Tom Toles, Roz Warren, Dan Wasserman and others. Contributions: Send artwork/submissions to address or email above. The Humor Times is available by subscription. It is printed on recycled paper, using 60% post-consumer fiber. All contents ©2015. No part may be reproduced without permission.
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Jan./Feb. 2015
HUMOR TIMES
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Movie Critic Everyone knows how backward North Korea is...
but who knew they were such movie buffs?
Turns out, Kim Jung Un is a very opinionated critic...
and he loves basking in all the attention.
The sky’s the limit for this young Un...
and he’s looking to branch out.
Movie execs have a reputation to protect...
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and an elite team has been assembled to do just that.
HUMOR TIMES
Jan./Feb. 2015
Cuban Mistletoe Crisis The Pope tried to mend a dysfunctional relationship...
and apparently, he was pretty convincing.
It was a long time in coming...
and the embargo was destined for the ashbin of history.
Since in Washington, no good deed can go unpunished...
They said it was tradition...
Jan./Feb. 2015
Republicans swung into action.
but change is inevitable.
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Top Ten Comedic News Stories of 2014 Hey guys, Will Durst here with your eagerly awaited Top Ten Comedic News Stories of 2014. Now, here’s the deal: please do not confuse these amusing accounts with the Top Ten Legitimate News Stories of 2014. No. No. No. They are as different as silky and spiky. Banjos and bullfrogs. Strawberry daiquiris and Chinese made assault rifles. Earrings and peas. Oh sure, we saw plenty examples of super serious humor-resistant stuff that went down over the previous twelve months, including but not limited to: Ebola infested ISIS members flying into Ferguson, Missouri on Malaysian Airlines, carrying pictures of Bill Cosby ogling Janay Rice’s butt. But fortunately, there were also quite a few events that lent themselves to massive humorosityness. So for anyone looking for a column with the vision and courage to lampoon, satirize, mock, scoff, taunt, tease, rib, ridicule, josh, jibe and kid these episodes of entertaining elucidation, you’ve come to the right place. Because here they are: the Top Ten Comedic News Stories Of 2014 as determined by the executive council of the Comics, Clowns, Jesters & Satirists Union, which, as you probably are already aware, is… me. Read ‘em and weep: 10. A new study by German scientists suggests that beer helps prevent prostate cancer. So let’s stop calling them bars, and start referring to them as what they really are: clinics. And we are self-administering patients. 9. Winter Olympics in Sochi. The entire world is relieved when Vladimir Putin doesn’t enter the triathlon by slapping on skis to shoot Ukrainian journalists. Shirtless. 8. Series of Ice Bucket Challenges sweep the country. Minor celebrities enjoy being seen as all wet. During the hazy days of
summer. When the Polar Vortex comes calling, not so much. 7. Toronto Mayor Rob Ford runs for re-election, but due to ill health has to pull out and convinces his brother to run. Torontoans refuse to give the Fords another crack at it. 6. Pope Francis says his religious theology is not in opposition to evolution. This guy really does look determined to drag the Catholic Church kicking and screaming into the latter half of the 19th Century. 5. Alaska, Oregon and D.C. join Washington & Colorado in the legal marijuana club. Stock of Frito-Lay, the makers of Funyuns and Cheetos, skyrockets. 4. Donald Sterling’s racist statements result in a lifetime ban from the NBA. And many folks hope he lives to be 105. And is forced to bunk with Cliven Bundy. 3. The Midterm elections. Mitch McConnell says he wants to work with the President. Yeah, the same way a 5 year old with a magnifying glass wants to work with ants. Only a matter of time before GM is forced to recall McConnell as a faulty airbag. 2. Arizona debates SB 1062, which would legalize bigotry based on religious beliefs. The return of Jim Crow with a cactus beat. The postal abbreviation AZ apparently stands for Angry Xenophobes. And yes, xenophobe starts with an “x” but they don’t know that. 1. ObamaCare rollout. The President said it could have gone smoother. You think? An anvil studded with titanium spikes could have rolled smoother. Squatting on the Flag, CIA Style If you believe the recently released Senate Intelligence Committee torture report, you might be tempted to conclude that the CIA lied to the press and the public and to Congress about the ex-
WILL DURST
tent and effec tive ness of its tor ture cam paign. And that conclusion would be correct, sir. And the amazing thing is people are amazed. Yes. Of course the CIA lies. That’s what they do. Lying and cheating and stealing are its total and complete job description. Glance at their listing on the civil service careers website: “Fluid interpretation of situational morality required.” That’s why when old CIA guys retire they go to work as oil industry lobbyists or Hollywood publicists. The CIA lied. Wow. What the next big revelation: Fire is hot? The New York Philharmonic is musically inclined? Shia LaBoeuf is bug suck crazy? Scorpions make lousy pre-school pets? Contracting dysentery is a lousy career move? Tiramisu is tasty? One thing you got to give our beleaguered spy agency; they are on the cutting edge in the use of creative euphemisms. In their world, “sleep management” means refusing to let someone sleep, possibly for more than a week, and “special rendition” means kidnapping people right off the street. Like an involuntary Uber ride. If Uber made passengers wear ankle manacles and black bags over their heads. The cute term for torture itself: “enhanced interrogation techniques,” is borrowed from the Nazis, who preferred: “refined interrogation techniques.” And whenever you hear someone stealing tactics from the Nazis, that’s not good. The report even gives us new and original verbal obfuscations. The phrase “rectal feeding” means to stick a tube up someone’s butt with actual food not necessarily involved and a consistent pattern of lying is now referred to as: “imprecise representations.” That’s what current CIA chief, John Brennan says occurred. He went on to stress “we did some things right.” Yeah. And the husband who poi soned his wife’s breakfast did a great job on the toast. During the same press conference, Brennan assured us “Congressional oversight is crucial.” Must be why he authorized the hacking of Congress’s computers: make sure they were properly supervising the CIA. Reliable sources contend that’s the reason why Dianne Feinstein went to such great lengths to make sure this report was released before her chairmanship wraps up in January. Spying on Americans is one thing. Spying on Congress: now them’s fighting words. Conservatives are busy doing what they always do: attacking the attackers. Squatting on the flag. Brennan and for mer Pres i dent Bush AND former Vice President Dick Cheney have all called the perpetrators of these atrocities “patriots” which means that anybody who questions their actions is giving the terrorists a foot rub. You know whom we should trust on this issue? The Senator with first-hand experience in the torture biz — John McCain, who adamantly insists that torture doesn’t work. Short term, because people will tell you whatever they think you want to hear to make it end. “She’s in the attic. Please stop playing ABBA.” And it doesn’t work long term, because it permanently blurs the distinction between the good guys, which is supposed to be us, and the bad guys, which is supposed to be them. Here’s a helpful primer designed to highlight the differences: Snowboarding — good guys, waterboarding — bad guys. Will Durst is an award-winning, na tion ally ac claimed po lit i cal comic. See willdurst.com for more. “The time and space scales of the Earth dwarf those of us mere humans, yet we tinker with the Earth’s re sources, ma nip u late them for our pur poses and underplay the risks we take. We scramble at the surface of the Earth to curtail the di sastrous upshots of our inane technological ‘achievements.’” — Jill S. Schneiderman, Vassar College
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Jan./Feb. 2015
Premium Welfare, for Those Who Can Afford It The gift-giving started even before Republicans officially take over Congress in January...
as they began an extreme makeover of Washington...
because it’s what their constituency demanded.
Yes, it’s a bright new day...
Meanwhile, the stock market peaked...
Jan./Feb. 2015
for America.
even as the nation’s infrastructure reached new lows.
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Enhanced Torture Justification In December, the long-awaited torture report came out...
The CIA adamantly claimed it did nothing wrong...
saying they were only following orders.
Former VP Dick Cheney was trotted out...
to set the record straight.
It was all necessary, he said...
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which clarified some tortured language.
and the results speak for themselves. (continued)
HUMOR TIMES
Jan./Feb. 2015
The Hightower Lowdown Citigroup Becomes Its Own Self-Serving Lawmaker Congress, which has long been so tied up in a partisan knot by right-wing extremists that it has been unable to move, suddenly sprang loose at the end of the year and put on a phenomenal show of acrobatic lawmaking. In one big, bipartisan spending bill, our legisla tive gymnasts pulled off a breath tak ing, flat-footed backflip for Wall Street, and then set a dizzying new height record for the amount of money deep-pocketed donors can give to the two major political parties. It was the best scratch-my-back performance you never saw. You and I didn’t see it — because it happened in secret. The favor was huge — allowing Wall Street’s most reckless speculators to have their losses on risky derivative deals insured by us taxpayers. Yes, such losses were a central cause of the 2008 financial crash and subsequent unholy bank bail out, which le ad to pas sage of the Dodd-Frank reform law, including a provision sparing taxpayers from covering future losses. But with one, compact, 85-line provision inserted deep inside the 1,600-page, trillion-dollar spending bill, Congress did a dazzling flip-flop
on that regulation, putting us taxpayers back on th e h o o k f or th e ba nks te rs ’ high-ris k speculation. In this same spending bill, Congress also used its legislative athleticism to free rich donors (such as Wall Street bankers) from a limit of under $100,000 on the donation that any one of them can give to political parties. In a spectacular gravity-defying stunt, lawmakers flung the limit on these donations to a record-setting 15 times higher than before. So now bankers who are grateful to either party for being able to make a killing on taxpayer-backed deals can give $1.5 million dollars each to the parties. Perhaps you recall from your high school civics class that neat, one-page flow chart showing the perfectly logical, beautifully democratic process that Congress must go through to pass our laws. What a bunch of kidders those chart makers were! To see how the sausage is really made, let’s take a look at that trillion-dollar budget bill that Congress squeezed out just before Christmas. It was crammed with special corporate favors, such as: reinstating a Bush rule allowing
mining giants to explode the tops off ancient Appalachian mountains and then bulldoze the rubble down into the valley below destroying pristine moun tain streams; an other let ting long-haul trucking outfits require their drivers to be on the road more than 11 hours a day and up to 82 hours per week, filling our highways with highballing, sleep-deprived truckers; and cutting $60 billion from the Environmental Protec tion Agency, free ing up polluters to go unpunished for polluting. None of these favors had anything to do with that “how-a-bill-becomes-law” flow chart in our civics textbook. No bill was filed, no public hearings, no debate, no vote. Just — BAM! — there they were, a thicket of benefits secretly slipped into the 1,600-page budget bill by … well, by whom? Largely by corporate lobbyists, though they get one of their for-hire congress critters to do the actual dirty deed. The taxpayer subsidy for Wall Street, for example, was written by Citigroup. The bank’s lobbyists then handed the provision to Kansas Republican Kevin Yoder, who slipped it into the bill. Thus, the Wall Street conglomerate that took a $50 billion bailout from us taxpayers just seven years ago to save itself from its own bad deals essentially was allowed to become an unelected, self-serving, do-it-yourself, back room “lawmaker” to make sure that your and
JIM HIGHTOWER
my tax dollars will be there to cover its next mess-up. And that, boys and girls, is the real flow chart for making our laws. It’s always an amazing sight when Wall Street and Congress get together — especially when they get together out of sight.
“A campaign against corporate personhood would allow us to regain control of a narrative we lost in 1980 when Ronald Reagan declared in his Inaugural Address, ‘government is the problem’ and initiated a process that has resulted in the greatest concentration of private wealth and power in American history.” – David Morris, AlterNet
Enhanced Justification (conclusion) Meanwhile, the CIA seems out of control...
and that the ends justify the means.
Jan./Feb. 2015
but says it had its reasons...
Still, one former victim of torture remains resolute.
HUMOR TIMES
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Cartertoons • www.cartertoons.com
•
by Jon Carter
Cartertoons • www.cartertoons.com
•
by Jon Carter
“We Report, You Decry!” White People Who Throw Up Gang Signs Stand Neutral on Ferguson Decision Say they’re ‘Keeping it real’ White people who throw up gang signs in pic tures on so cial me dia sites like Facebook have decided to stay neutral on the grand jury’s decision in Ferguson, Missouri. “This ish is cray, dawg,” said Cody Dakota in a post on Facebook. “I ain’t got
nuffin’ to say, but I keep it real,” Cody later said in a Facebook post after the grand jury decision on Facebook. This writer noticed that Cody invited him to play Candy Crush Saga on Facebook, but still remained silent on the Ferguson situation. Cody later posted on Facebook that he’s listening to Macklemore to “get his head right.” More on this story as it develops… By HT Senior White Gang Signs Correspondent, Lee Mays.
Headline News Section Aspiring to the High Standards Set by Cable News
Sony Invites Still More Controversy with Latest New Comedy Following the PR success of The Interview, pear ance play ing him self, via Skype. His Sony Pictures announced today that it would be catch-phrase is, “I’d do it again!” r e l e a s i ng A l l a h u At the end of the Akbar!, an uproarious new Sony Pic tures new com edy about movie, Obama i s the assassination of handed over to ISIS President Barack and, amidst universal Obama. la ugh te r, is put The movie is fithrough Jihad John’s nanced by the governfamiliar slapstick roument of North Korea tine. Over the closing and was filmed on locredits you can hear cation in Pyongyang. C he ney la ugh i ng, Starring funnymen “ We ll, I’ d d o i t Dick Cheney makes a cameo appearance in the new Bill Murray as Li’l again!” Sony Pictures comedy. Jamie Crow and Tom In the US, the FBI Hanks as Cliven Bundy’s lovable brother Ted, have paid no attention whatever to the movie’s those wacky KKK activists are at it again! Dis- release because of course its production and guised as simple-minded tea-party protestors, performances are protected by the First Amendthe two bumbling racists incredibly — let’s call ment. it comedic license — scale the White House The Ku Klux Klan, Tea Party and the GOP fence and walk in through the front door unchal- congressional leadership have also welcomed lenged! its appearance and are making no attempt to Up the stairs and down the hall, in one of the block Allahu Akbar!’s release by legal action, new Sony release’s most hilarious scenes, they threatening theaters or audiences, or in any way find Obama, played by Chris Rock, kneeling on interfering with its appearance next week in his prayer mat in the Oval Office. In the back- over 3000 outlets nationwide. Like all Ameriground weird African music plays. cans, they too recognize the absolute purview of The rest of this thigh-slapping moment in- free speech and artistic expression. volves the enhanced interrogation of the presi“Hell, it’s just a comedy, a joke,” said the dent, including wildly humorous depictions of commonsensical Bill O’Reilly. “Why would water-boarding and rectal rehydration, until any government get upset about a movie depictObama finally admits he was born in Kenya. ing the assassination of its president?” Some rather obvious puns on his name are By HT N. Korea Film Correspondent, Mimade, and Dick Cheney has a brief cameo ap- chael Egan.
Dick Cheney: ‘I Never Shot Anyone in the Face’ Former vice-president Dick Cheney said today that a new report about a hunting incident eight years ago, when he allegedly shot lawyer Harry Whittington in the face, was “hooey” and “a load of crap.” According to a new New York Times report, Cheney was with a quail-hunting party in Texas in February 2006. He fired his shotgun “without realizing that fellow hunter Harry Whittington was on the opposite end of the barrel.” At the time, Cheney demanded and accepted expressions of remorse from the victim, while issuing none himself. Confronted with the Times report and its irrefutable data, including the verbatim testimony of everyone who was there, Cheney repeated that in his opinion everything it contained was “hooey” and “crap.” “First of all, I reject the word ‘shot,’” he said. “It was sim ply an en hanced mos-
quito-swatting protection activity. The mosquitoes in Texas are something terrible. “The CYA, I mean the CIA, calls it bug terrorism, domestic insectocide. Colin Powell has undeniable evidence in a vial that one of these deadly virae was on both or either of the 9/11 planes. Besides, Whittington brought it on — did it to — himself, as his apology from hospital made clear.” Describing the now disfigured attorney as “an obsequious flunky,” Cheney quoted him, speaking through his bandages: “My family and I are deeply sorry for all that Vice President Cheney and his family have had to go through.” “So it’s clearly not my fault,” Cheney continued in his distinctively Darth Vaderian hiss. “And while it’s true that I was the guy who pulled the trigger that fired the round that hit Harry, it was after all only a little part of me.” He wig gled his right fore fin ger like a
Cheney: Rectal hydration “just a load of crap.”
detumescent willy. “Besides, it was acting on its own, without proper authorization. I mean, one finger among ten, that’s not bad. Bush gave his middle finger repeatedly to America for eight years and nobody’s complaining about that.” Cheney leaned forward confidentially. “I never shot anyone in the face,” he repeated. “And if I had to do it again, I would.” Reported by Michael Egan
Terrorist Winter Retreat Canceled Due to Infighting The annual winter retreat of Middle Eastern terrorists groups was abruptly canceled this week, due to differences of opinion on strategy. The yearly meeting, an opportunity to reminisce about lost members, changes in the color of headgear, and to discuss the influx of recent satirical news items that have drawn their ire, will not take place in January 2015, as scheduled. Most of the tension was cre ated, say ter ror ist watchers, by t he sud den push by ISIS t o dem onstrate their Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi. power and control at the expense of the long-term strategies of other radical groups. Members complain ISIS “shows a total disregard for the thoughts and beliefs of their comrades.” The upcoming retreat was expected to bring together the top leaders of several important terror players including Al Qaeda, Hamas and Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves. According to a Syrian travel agent at Global Terrorist Tourism Group, it had originally been set to take place at the sunny Walt Disney World resort in Orlando, Florida. Current drone target Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, entertainment director for ISIS, was especially disappointed by the sudden change in plans. Having what he believes to be his best year of leadership, he had expected to continue being the center of attention during the 5 day, 6 night group package that had been selected. The cancellation came as quite a shock to al-Baghdadi, and his allies stated they haven’t seen him reach this level of depression since he found out his prized Rolex was, in fact, a fake. Meanwhile, the spokesman for the group tried to downplay the true impact of the cancellation by pointing out the daily struggle they have in just using one name. “Some of our regional leaders are going by ISIS, some by ISIL. Do you have any idea how hard it is to even cash a check when you aren’t sure which ID they are going to require?” stated Alman alQuerty. “We are very disappointed that those capitalist American infidels will not even return our deposit, even though we paid in Bitcoin.” “If anything, we lost money on the deal,” said a spokesman for Disney, who confirmed that the spot originally booked by the ISIL folks would be going to a fundamentalist church group from Little Rock, Arkansas instead. Reported by Mike Kelly and P. Beckert
Rick Santorum: God Owns Church and State, Gave Both to GOP Female Scientist Wears Dildo Strapped to Head A Humor Times Exclusive Report government,” he said, “and of course I am referat News Conference Perpetual religious right presidential candi- ring to the Christian faith here, no heathen relidate and former senator Rick Santorum came gions need apply.” out with a brave stand today, saying something “Separation of church and state appears nohis base would totally agree with: Separation of where in the Constitution,” said Santorum, rechurch and state is something peating a favorite Republican only a god less com mu nist talking point. would be in favor of. When someone re minded “Sep a rat ing church and him that the First Amendment state is commie and a sin, states, “Congress shall make s a y e t h th e L o r d , ” s a id no law respecting an establishSantorum. “He told me so.” ment of religion, or prohibiting “King Obama and the Demthe free ex er cise thereof,” ocrat Party would like you to Santorum an swered boldly, believe our constitution doeswith all the aplomb of a true ben’t allow religion and governliever who knows he can’t posment to mix, but like Karl s i bl y be w rong: “ Sure , Marx’s ‘Com mu nist Man iCongress can’t make a law tellfesto,’ they also think ing us to respect any particular same-sex marriage is cool.” religion. That’s because we are The fact that same-sex mara democracy. We get to vote on riage does not appear anywhich religion will rule.” where in the manifesto did not When reminded that could seem to bother him. result in Jews ruling New York “Says who? Karl Marx? He Graphic by Gage ‘DonkeyHotey’ and Mor mons rul ing Utah, Skidmore, flickr.com. lied about a lot of stuff, so that Santorum answered, “I don’t wouldn’t surprise me,” said Santorum. care, let them have their little fiefdoms — we “The founders clearly intended that Jesus get the federal government!” should sit at the head of Congress, in the same “All doubters will receive their just recomspot the president dares to speak at the State of pense,” he shouted to no one in particular. the Union every year. That’s why we will block Just then, a bolt of lightening struck him and Obama from speak ing this time,” said sent him flying 50 feet. After a moment, he got Santorum, explaining how government should up, looking a bit disheveled, and said, “Hey, that work. was just a bit of bad weather, any scientist will “Religion should inform all our decisions in tell you it’s pure chance.”
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Dr. Margaret Turnbull, the first female scientist to work alongside male scientists in a research laboratory in Las Cruces, New Mexico, has reportedly shown up to several news conferences sporting a dildo strapped to her head. While the obvious comments are being whispered amongst several male re porters, Dr. Turnbull’s intent is not just to highlight the lack of naked male shirts, which has already been extensively reported on by Anderson Cooper. “I’m mak ing a state ment,” claimed Dr. Turnbull. “This isn’t about science, this isn’t about wardrobe choices, this is about the opposite sex. The biggest problem with my approach is the fact that my esteemed colleagues can’t get past giggling long enough to understand,” she stated. Dr. Turnbull, or Margie, as she is affectionately referred to by her male colleagues, claims she felt it necessary to take a stand after seeing the social network fallout from science writer Rose Eveleth’s tweets regarding the shirt worn by a male scientist working on the comet landing project last week. Dr. Matt Taylor, also referred to by his male colleagues as Matthew, lead scientist on the project to place a probe on a comet, showed up at several interviews wearing a shirt emblazoned with half-naked women. While many people saw this as pretty ballsy, to put it mildly, others claim it was refreshing to see a scientist go all Gonzo on such an important mission. The fashion world wasn’t impressed with either the shirt or the loneliness his iron
HUMOR TIMES
must feel having never seen the light of day. Dr. Turnbull is also not the first, nor likely the last, from the scientific community to use levity when pushed by circumstances into confronting perceived social injustice. During the Manhattan project it was rumored that several high placed team members had etched, “Made In Japan,” on components for the atomic bomb, ironically not foreseeing how catchy that phrase would later become. Dr. Taylor was reached for a response to his seemingly inappropriate attire choice to which he had one final comment, “At the end of the day, it is really all about probes, now isn’t it?” Meanwhile, Dr. Turnbull says she will hang up her dildo when Dr. Taylor hangs up his shirt. Until that time she plans to continue her unique protest and is planning a strap-on outing to engage the community later this month. By P. Beckert and Mike Kelly
Jan./Feb. 2015
Environment
Immigration
We’re trashing the globe...
Obama said he couldn’t wait on Congress any longer...
but at least gas is cheap.
and Republicans have a problem with that.
Luckily, we’ve elected leaders to tackle the problem... They say we should instead follow the example...
by talking about it.
Jan./Feb. 2015
of those who came before us.
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Post-Racial America Racial tensions continue to divide us...
and it seems there are two Americas.
It’s affecting everyone...
including the kids.
The military-armed police don’t seem to get it...
saying they are victims too...
in need of protection...
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and understanding. (continued)
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Jan./Feb. 2015
But it’s becoming clear...
that so-called “justice” can be heavy-handed...
We need solutions...
and even smothered.
that work...
because everyone deserves to be treated fairly.
someday.
There is still hope that things can change...
Jan./Feb. 2015
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White House Blues
White House Hopefuls
Sec. Hagel had a rough run...
Republicans have faced some disappointments...
and the president noticed. but hope to deliver the goods now that they’ve got Congress.
Obama hasn’t had it so easy himself... Meanwhile, they’re looking for presidential material...
and making sure they are ready.
and Dems look forward to replacing him in 2016.
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Miscellaneous Mischief
Jan./Feb. 2015
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HUMOR TIMES
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Jan./Feb. 2015
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