April, 2017

“Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.” – Plato

April 2017

Issue #300

th

300 Issue th

r 26 Annive u O g n i t a rsar r b e l y! e C ®

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HUMOR TIMES

April, 2017

Editor’s Letter Welcome to the Humor Times’ 26th Anniversary Issue!

I’ll be perfectly frank, it’s not easy surviving as a small print publication these days. So, I’m always very thankful every time we can notch another year. It’s been a great ride, and we’re proud of our role in speaking truth to power in an entertaining way through the years.

Right now, we’re experiencing a bit of a resurgence, what with the Orange Menace in office.

People seem to be in dire need of their political satire these days, and we’re doing our patriotic duty in providing it!

Sure, we’ve always leaned left as a publication. However, we’ve always strived to balance it out with a lot of barbs aimed at Democrats as well as Republicans.

However, this is an extraordinary time, with an extreme assault on American values we hold dear being perpetuated by a narcissistic, spiteful, minority-elected president, backed by a hard right Republican congress bent on destroying every positive accomplishment of the last 30 years.

It seems their primary goal is steering all economic gains and giving as much power as possible to the top 1/10th of one percent in this country, at the expense of everyone else.

As Conor Lynch wrote in Salon recently: “It is tempting to write this all off as Donald being Donald – an impulsive, thin-skinned little man-child who can’t take any criticism – but that would be a mistake. Trump has surrounded himself with sycophantic enablers and right-wing extremists who appear eager to advance his authoritarian agenda...

“Not long ago this kind of rhetoric would have provoked outrage from both sides of the aisle and widespread disapproval from the populace. But today, in our hyper-partisan political landscape, many Americans have instead cheered Trump and his administration’s increasingly dictatorial and undemocratic behavior. This invites the question of whether the American people will stand up to autocracy if and when it comes, and how much of the populace is actually prepared to give up its freedom and submit to a strongman.”

Combine this with the fact that the Democrats in Congress are utterly powerless, and seem content to just hope Trump will flame out, and the political humor landscape is pretty lopsided.

So, naturally, most of the editorial cartoonists are concentrating their efforts on the cartoonish president, and that’s what you’ll find in this issue.

Going forward, we need to increase our subscription rolls to stay viable, and you’re in a great position to help us do that. (Sure, we did pretty good with advertising in this issue – adding four pages so that we can bring you even more cartoons than usual – but other than this anniversary issue, it’s been very difficult to get enough advertising support.) A gift and recommendation from you, a person familiar with the Humor Times, is the best way to spread the word about this publication. So, please, give generously to those in need of political humor! (And after all, isn’t that just about everybody?)

Thank you!

– James Israel, Editor

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The Humor Times® (ISSN 1937 299X), Vol. 26, Issue 300, is published monthly by the Humor Times, 7271 Lindale Dr, Sacramento, CA 95828. Periodicals Postage Paid at Sacramento, CA and additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to Humor Times, P.O. Box 162429, Sacramento, CA 95816-2429.

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Contributors: P. Beckert, Steve Benson, Jeff Boldt, Ruben Bolling, Chris Britt, Jon Carter, Paul Combs, Will Durst, Michael Egan, John Glynn, Walt Handelsman, Jim Hightower, David Horsey, Ben Krull, Paul Lander, Dick Locher, Chan Lowe, Mike Luckovich, Gary Markstein, Lee Mays, Jack Ohman, Dan Piraro, Marshall Ramsey, Rob Rogers, Jay Schiller & Greg Cravens, Harley Schwadron, Drew Sheneman, Scott Stantis, Dana Summers, Tom Toles, Roz Warren, Dan Wasserman and others. Contributions: Send artwork/submissions to address or email above.

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April, 2017

Don’t Let Your Friends Go Without…Give the HUMOR TIMES! HUMOR TIMES

3

Health Care for All Most Those Who Can Afford It The Republican base was willing to sacrifice to win...

but the highly touted health plan looks rather sickly...

Paul Ryan says people are dying for it, however... now that it’s finally ready for the show room.

Trump confessed it was pretty tricky business... and that it’s good for America.

but assured everyone it has all the best words.

4

Dems disagreed, however. (continued)

HUMOR TIMES

April, 2017

Soon, even Trump voters were waking up...

to the frightening reality.

Speaker of the House Ryan was stumped...

but it was all actually quite predictable.

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April, 2017

HUMOR TIMES

5

Best Ever Prez (Sez Him) The new president found governing is hard...

and folks everywhere began to wonder.

He tried to calm down and lead a prayer...

and he gathered his most faithful supporters.

He found his stride at the congressional address...

Even his aides are stressed...

6

but was soon back to his old tricks..

and he sometimes seems a self-parody. (continued)

HUMOR TIMES

April, 2017

Trump is growing more paranoid by the day...

as is much of the country.

But he is soldering on... and so are his fans.

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April, 2017

HUMOR TIMES

7

Picasso of Hogwash The English language has a healthy share of euphemisms for lying. Fabrication. Falsification. Making stuff up. Inoperative statements. Alternative facts. Big fat fibs. Untruths. Puffery.

Flum mery. Fast food ad ver tis ing. NFL owner profit/loss statements.

But they all mean the same thing: saying out loud things you know are not true. No matter which polite term you prefer, America in the middle of a lying renaissance. And we have President Donald J. Trump to thank for perfecting the practice of public prevarication to an art form. He is the Picasso of hogwash.

Throughout his career, Trump has deflected trouble by waving a bright shiny object, throwing it into a corner and yelling, “Hey what’s that over there?”

In the business world The Donald erected huge TRUMP signs before reneging on promises and stiffing contractors. On the campaign trail he shot out baseless allegations like a t-shirt cannon at minor league ballgame. Now, as president, cascades of groundless gibberish flow from him like rainwater off the Oroville Dam spillway.

Every politician lies, and both Bill Clinton and Richard Nixon got caught in whoppers, but not until the end of their second terms. Trump has rocketed out of the gate as the least credible federal office-holder in history. It’s like being called the scariest clown at a circus convention.

First, Mr. Trump claimed his inauguration was the most attended ever, when photos clearly reveal half of those that assembled in 2009. Who you going to believe - me, or your lying eyes?

He then accused 3,000,000 non-existent people of voting illegally, the same exact amount he lost the popular vote by. Alternative facts are kissing cousins to alternative math. 2 plus 2 is whatever he says it is. And 0 + 0 is 3,000,000.

Recently, the new president accused the old president, Barack Hussein Obama, of wiretapping Trump Tower. With no proof. At all. Even Trump’s own staff were quoted as saying, “Hunh, what?” Then were force marched onto television to lob sparkly Christmas ornaments at weekend anchors and production assistants.

James Clapper, the former director of National Intelligence, which is starting to sound like an oxymoron, denied that any surveillance was authorized. But Chief Aide Kellyanne Conway suggested that perhaps it was done through partisan kitchen appliances dabbling in espionage.

One reason President Trump gets away with his fables and fakery is because the media has the attention span of a hover of hummingbirds in a green house on blossom day. Although people are questioning the provenance of his charges, nobody’s talking about his Russian connections anymore. Mission Accomplished.

It’s a genius strategy that can work in real life as well. Think grade school and get creative.

• Tell the boss the report is overdue because it was eaten by a pack of wild Tanzanian boars that have overrun your back yard.

Even if you live in a high rise.

• Caught holding someone else’s wallet? You weren’t stealing, but rather protecting their possessions from other unscrupulous persons by hiding the money in your pocket for safekeeping.

• Does your spouse have naked photos of you in the arms of another? Total misunderstanding: this unfortunate person was suffering from hypothermia and you were simply applying liferestoring, body heat. Internally.

Accountability is soooooo... 2015. As Nike used to say, “Just Do It.”

WILL DURST

Russian Nesting Squalls Whoever said that a week in politics can be a lifetime was living so far in the past, they probably have a drawer full of sock garters. Today, in the Land of Trump, that time frame has been compressed to an hour. And considering the stormy week we just survived, every one of us ought to have grey hair, be eligible to collect three or four social security checks and have all our earthly possessions catalogued in a living will.

Instead of luxuriating in the rave reviews following his speech to Congress that the 45th President recited in his newly discovered indoor voice, the administration immediately began reeling from rolling disclosures that various members of his staff met with Russians during the campaign, the transition and in their dreams.

The revelations accentuating the perception of collusion between members of Trump’s inner circle and our Cold War opponents gained a potency that exceeded peppered vodka spiked with Siberian methamphetamine, and started spilling out like pods of Russian nesting dolls turned upside down.

The U.S. attorney general, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III (meaning there were two other guys named Jefferson Beauregard Sessions, which is frightening enough), recused himself from all investigations, because Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III investigating Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III would look weird and be way too confusing.

Turns out when he said under oath in his confirmation hearing that “I didn’t have any meetings with the Russians,” what the former Alabama Senator meant to say was he didn’t have any meetings with the Russians except a couple, that we really don’t need to know about, and should keep our noses out of his per sonal busi ness, dammit. Which is personal. His business, that is.

Then a couple more Trumpian un der lings re mem bered they might have, perhaps, met some folks, nice people, who could have been for eign ers, and seemed vaguely Russianish, maybe in Cleveland or one of those other rusting Midwestern cities. Or was it Miami?

The big question now is how high do the Russian connections go? In other words what did Trump know and when did he know he knew it? To put it another way, what did n’t he know and who knows that he knew he did n’t know and why? Or does he even know that what he didn’t know he knew was unknowable at the time, which is now? And most importantly, who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men. The Shadow knows.

Especially curious is the fact that Trump insults everybody: the media, the judiciary, the intelligence community, Meryl Streep, Nordstrom, people who prefer vinegar based coleslaw, but never Vladimir Putin. Which is as suspicious as an AK-47 with a smoking barrel in your crisper bin.

Trump still refuses to admit it was the Russians that hacked the Democratic National Committee.

“Maybe it was a 400 pound fat guy on a couch.” Hate to see Chris Christie get thrown under the bus like that. Can’t be too good for the bus either. Sad. In order to deflect attention from his Russian connection, Donald J. Trump then shocked the world by alleging he had just been told that Barack Obama had bugged Trump Tower. Or perhaps we misunderstood. After all, Donald Trump is a child of the 60’s.

Maybe what he meant to say was “Don’t you get it man? I don’t dig that black cat. Barack Obama is heavy-duty bugging me, man.”

Will Durst is an award- winning, nationally acclaimed political comic. Go to willdurst.com for info about the documentary film, “3 Still Standing” and calendar listings that feature future appearances such as his one-man show, “BoomeRaging: From LSD to OMG.”

8

HUMOR TIMES

April, 2017

Feeble Resistance

Hungry

Trump came in like a wrecking ball...

It’s déjà vu all over again...

with a chaotic momentum that was hard to slow.

and the economic strategy will help a lot of the same folks.

He immediately went after the Dem’s prize achievement...

Trump has big plans...

to feed a hungry military. and the party seems to be in tatters.

April, 2017

HUMOR TIMES

9

The Enablers He said he’d pick the best and the brightest...

and they are doing their best to back him up.

Some cabinet members had to be let go... and others just got stashed away.

He’s picked some real winners...

And it’s not always easy...

10

who are determined to get stuff done.

but Trump’s crew is getting the hang of it. (continued)

HUMOR TIMES

April, 2017

Republican congress members have been surprised...

but insist their motives are pure.

Meanwhile, it’s a new normal at the White House...

and they’re settling in for the long haul.

Congratulations, Humor Times, on your longevity, and for making the world a little easier to swallow!

– Mike Fahn

Free your mind and the rest will follow www.aofonline.org • 916-304-3796 April, 2017

HUMOR TIMES

11

Cartertoons • www.cartertoons.com

•

by Jon Carter

Cartertoons • www.cartertoons.com

•

by Jon Carter

“We Report, You Decry!”

Hold Onto Your FUPAs: McDonalds Delivers Service added for those not able to make it off their couches The United States ranks number one in many global categories such as exporting jobs, or producing the world’s worst celebrities, but our bid at the top spot for fattest nation may now be in jeopardy. Hold onto your FUPAs folks, McDonalds will now be implementing a delivery service in the UK and certain parts of Europe.

The demand for grease-soaked trans fat has hit an all-time high across the pond and the consumer base is in danger of not being able to make it from off of their couches to the actual restaurants.

“Our European numbers are definitely down from last year by a substantial margin,” said Michael Stokes, Vice President of Marketing for the food chain. “If people are either too fat to get to our stores or fit inside the booths, then we’ll just have to bring the stores to them.”

It’s this type of pride and enthusiasm in a job well done that has triggered the direct threat to the United States as champion of the clogged artery.

Tina MacGowan, of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, is appalled by the news that the torch of fat test na tion may soon be passed.

“I used to get winded just getting up to take a dump. That don’t happen no more,” she said. “I don’t exactly agree with the Feudal System but if I have to I’ll start shopping at the Burger King.”

McDonalds has announced that it does not have any plans to launch a nationwide delivery platform anytime soon in the U.S., however.

“There’s just really no need for it, currently,” said Michael Stokes. “Americans may be fat and lazy but they’ll always use the drive thru.”

Reported by Patrick Lawlor

The rest of Trump’s family, including his wife Melania, children Barron, Tiffany, and the “terrible two,” Donald Jr. and Eric, are not included in the deal.

An anonymous FBI source last night leaked the following telephone transcript, recorded soon after Attorney General Sessions recused himself from the impending investigation into Trump’s treasonous relationship with the former Soviet Union: Putin: Privet (Hello) Trumpski! Here is Vladimir!

Trump: Vlad! Thought you’d never call back! Sad! Putin: Is good, Trumpski. Arrangements are

14

Aspiring to the High Standards Set by Cable News

Trumpcare Games Announced: Match to the Death for Health Care May the odds be ever in your favor to win health care – but if you lose, you won’t need it anymore anyway!

In the wake of a report from the CBO estimating that 24 million more people would end up uninsured under the Republicans’ proposed health care program, a press conference was held to introduce a new program “guaranteed to give everyone access to health care.”

Sean Spicer: Good morning, everyone. First, I want to reiterate the President will not tolerate the new health care plan be ing called “Trumpcare.” Understood?

Good. Now, down to business, you media scum. The President has delivered on his health care promises today by introducing “The Health Care Games.” If someone cannot afford health care, they can fight for it. Winners will get health care, while losers will… Well, they were sick, anyway.

The room erupted with questions. White House police entered the briefing room, at this point, and reporters quieted down.

Jim Acosta, CNN: Was n’t The Hun ger Games on FX last night?

Spicer: Yes. So? The President gets confused. FX? Fox? Can you tell the difference?

No, of course you can’t!

Spicer sneered at the reporter from CNN, then continued.

In the wake of the “A Day Without Women” protest, the nation is still coping with the ripple effect of a world absent the feminine touch.

Schools, restaurants, hospitals and even strip clubs were a colder, darker place, and the message did not go unnoticed.

Mark Stansbury, a father from New Jersey, was one of many husbands caught off guard by the sudden vacancy.

“I woke up and my wife was gone,” said Stansbury. “Just gone. I didn’t know if she was out protesting or if she left me, or what. She didn’t even leave a note.”

Like so many men that morning, Mark realized he had to do the work of two people in order to get his children ready for school.

“To be honest, I don’t know how she does it.

Our youngest boy, Michael — I think he might be the devil.”

The horror of it all was almost too much for

being made. You bring all your rubles, da? But no family or friends!

Trump: But Vlad! What about Bannon? I can’t think without him. This was all his idea.

He’s a Leninist, you know, one of your guys.

Putin: Alrightski, Bannon. But he has to shave, every day.

Trump: And Ivanka.

Putin: OK, OK (OK, OK). And Amerikanski nuclear codes, pliz, or no deal. And names of CIA spice with!

Trump: Spice?

Putin: Da! Secret agentski. No spice, no deal!

Trump: OK, Vlad. And my golf clubs, da? I speak Russia good, yes?

Putin: Poleznyy Trumpski! (Very good, you useful idiot.)

Trump: So Ivanka and I plan to fly into Moscow on April Fool’s Day, April 2nd. The stupid American press will think it’s a prank. This will give us enough time.

Putin: Otlichnaya ideya! (Excellent idea!)

Trump: Listen, Vladdy, gotta go. Melania just walked in carrying Dr Seuss.

Putin: Nyet tell her about places you’ll go!

Trump: Fat chance! She’s the main reason I’m doing this. And the prospect of jail, of course.

Putin: We got some of those here too, Trumpski. Do svidaniya, idiot.

Trump: What?

(Click) Reported by Mary Lago

Trump to Extend Federal Protection to At-Risk Bully Students Trying to stem criticism of the Trump administration for removing federal protection for transgender students, Sean Spicer announced that “President Trump is issuing federal protection for an ignored group of at-risk students — bullies.”

He went on to complain that school psychologists and overprotective parents have changed normal, healthy interaction among kids by saturating the nation’s school with anti-bullying programs.

Spicer: This idea comes only from the genius of the president’s brain. Next question.

Alex Jones, Info Wars: Will they fight to the death? Please tell me they will. I hope they do.

Spicer: Of course they will. That’s the brilliance of The Health Care Games. It’s the inevitable result of economic Darwinism.

CNN: Will Trumpcare – The CNN reporter never got to finish, as police pounced and forcibly removed him.

Spicer: You were all warned. It’s not Trumpcare!

We’re all members of District 12 now.

Reported by Ron Keith

Apocalypse Happened: And Not a Woman In Sight

Trump Secretly Negotiates with Putin for Political Asylum in Russia WASHINGTON DC — The FBI’s secret phone-tapping of Donald Trump has revealed that the embattled US President is negotiating with Russia for political asylum.

While all the details have not yet been sewn up, it appears that Trump has agreed to bring only his personal fortune of $3.8 billion, his golf clubs, and his daughter Ivanka. Steve Bannon may be allowed too, “if he shaves.”

Headline News Section

Ron Steadman, a construction worker from Fort Worth, Texas, to bear.

The re al ity of the strike set in when Steadman walked into the Jiggly House, a local strip club, for his lunch.

“Wouldn’t you believe they had the dang bus boy up there swinging on the pole,” he s a i d . “ I’ m a l l f or completin’ yer bucket list but I just about puked on ma’ boots.”

A s Ron l ooked around, he re al ized there was not a single woman working the floor that afternoon; he was completely surrounded by men.

The message has been sent. A world without women is not a pleasant one, nor is it a place where any man wants to live.

Ron Steadman especially.

“That bus boy had scars! Scars, I tell ya!

Maybe I shoulda tipped him.”

Reported by Patrick Lawlor

At-risk bully. Photo by Thomas Ricker, flickr.com.

“Kids used to help prepare each other for the real world where you can’t whine to mommy or daddy when your boss gets on your case,” Spicer continued.

“Are you saying that the administration believes that bullying is a good thing?” called out a reporter incredulously shaking his head.

Spicer was quick to answer: “That’s not what President Trump is saying. As always, he is focusing on positive outcomes, the ends whatever the means. Kids learn their place in society, that there are top dogs, and the others need to figure out how to deal with that.”

Spicer went on to explain that all anti-bullying programs would be banned and all anti-bully ing materials burned. “Bullies are strong, natural leaders. These programs are destroying our future leaders, future CEO’s, even our future presidents!” he said with a flourish.

When the reporters began to furrow their brows and murmur among themselves, an impatient Sean Spicer blustered: “Look, just think of it as The Apprentice, Jr.” Reported by Diane de Anda In related news: Experts say bullies can be pacified with a subscription to the Humor Times, which will still make them laugh at other people – just not their victims.

Ripping the Headlines Today Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to!

By Paul Lander. All you need to do is follow one simple rule: barely pay attention and jump to conclusions. So, here are some headlines today and my first thoughts:

NCAA Tournament: Bracket fever I’m not saying my NCAA Office pool bracket got off to a bad start, but in two of the games I had the wrong guy singing the National Anthem.

Trump doesn’t want his name on TrumpCare In fairness, he doesn’t put his name on anything made in the USA. Main exit poll indicates Dutch Prime Minister Mark Rutte has won election over anti-Islam populist Geert Wilders.

He also carried California.

Happy 84th Birthday, Ruth Bader Ginsburg She’s the second most popular Supreme. Right after Diana Ross.

Kellyanne Conway walked back Trump Tower surveillance remarks Apparently, all of Trump’s kitchen appliances have alibis.

Justin Bieber refuses to take photo with fan: ‘You make me sick’ Sounds like they’re putting together his audition reel for ‘Celeb Rehab 2028.’

U.K. intelligence agency GCHQ issues rare public statement to dismiss Trump Tower wiretapping as ‘utterly ridiculous’ But, they said it in a lovely accent.

It’s Saint Patrick’s Day Saint Patrick’s Day, or, as the old song goes, “When Irish Eyes are Bloodshot…”

Mikhail Lesin is ninth Russian to drop dead during Trump-Russia scandal; second with head bashed in In Russia, that’s known as ‘natural causes.’

Sean Hannity hints Obama did cocaine, smoked weed with travel ban judge Sounds like someone’s jealous.

Happy 91st Birthday, Jerry Lewis I hear kids got the day off from school in France.

‘Beauty and the Beast’ grosses $115MM over 3 days Imagine how much more it would have made if all the characters were gay.

Latest polls show broad opposition to GOP Obamacare replacement Trump: Damn broads…

Chuck Berry, Rock & Roll Legend, dead at 90 Anyone know if he ever forgave Maybelline for not being true?

HUMOR TIMES

Read more of Paul Lander’s columns at humortimes.com.

April, 2017

Best Buddies Trump sensed he’d had his “wires tapped”...

but he trusts Putin implicitly...

saying he’s a good fit.

Still, investigations continue...

although Sessions insists it’s all a smokescreen...

and Trump vehemently denies the allegations.

Trump says we have our faults too.

While the Russian connections are obvious to everyone...

April, 2017

HUMOR TIMES

15

Media The new prez does not condone being questioned...

and has taken to demonizing the press...

He has an effective strategy for dealing with them...

except for those who ask “nice questions.”

keeping the media guessing... until the next press conference.

They’ve been disparaged... but what if the old trusted guys were still around?

16

HUMOR TIMES

April, 2017

Voter Fraud

Deep State

Trump insists his was the biggest ever…

The prez does not trust the “deep state”…

and he has people on the case who see it his way.

and certainly there is much they are trying to hide.

Republicans will have to cover their own tracks first, though.

People are getting paranoid...

But everyone agrees, anyway.

April, 2017

and it may be time to upgrade your devices.

HUMOR TIMES

17

The Hightower Lowdown How Magical Is Donald Trump?

Trump and Company claim they have a sweeping mandate from voters to remake America — but wait— it is just a magic trick.

Almost half of the electorate chose not to

vote in last November’s Presidential election.

Some “mandate.”

Here’s another fact: Those of us fighting for populist justice are stronger than we’ve been in decades. But how can that be, since Trump is in the White House? Because the vast majority of people agree with the ideals, issues and ideas of progressive populism, not with Trumpism. Even most of his supporters were not voting for what they’re getting — a pluto cratic, au to cratic agenda that’ll steamroll the working class and poor.

Trump was not elected on is sues, but on an ger. Yes, many white supremacists, misogynists, nativists and xenophobes did turn out to support his raw bigotry. But a lot of Trump voters simply heard him speaking one truth repeatedly: the system is rigged by and for the elites. That group of voters was filled with a deep, seething fury created by corporate, political and authoritarian elites who’ve been flattening the majority of people for years, then callously stepping over them as if they

don’t exist. That’s true — so the riggees, furious at being flattened by the corporate and political powers, saw Trump as a great big bois d’arc stick they could grab to thump the whole smug establishment upside its collective head.

However, far from alleviating their anger and despair, Trump is already betraying them, as revealed by the actual proposals he’s made and the people he’s brought inside the White House. Remember his promise to “drain the swamp” in Washington? Instead, he’s pulled a new slew of creepy-crawly swamp creatures out of his hat to help him run the country — like Jeff Sessions, Steve Mnuchin, Rex Tillerson, Tom Price, Scott Pruitt and Betsy DeVos among a mess of Wall Street insiders. These are career-long corporate hacks, not working class champions.

Let’s look at one of the issues affecting worki n g - c l a ss A me r i c a n s . T h e Am a z i n g Wunderkind of Global Luxury Living — and now Our Nation’s Phantasmagoric, Fast-charging President — is proving to be a legislative magician on the issue of Obamacare.

In his campaign, Trump’s big promise was that he would “immediately” repeal the entirety of Obamacare, then — hocus-pocus and abracadabra! — simultaneously replace it with “great health care for a fraction of the price.” Wow, that’s why his White House media operation calls him “President Action, President Impact.”

But — oops — it seems that the Amazing Donald has abruptly learned that what magicians do is not magic, they just perform illusions. In other words, it’s fakery. So, Trump is now caught in the spotlight of reality, unable to produce a workable plan to “repeal and replace” Obamacare, as he had so glibly promised. In

JIM HIGHTOWER

fact, the GOP replacement scheme he’s been backing would leave millions of people with no health care coverage, while reducing the benefits and jacking-up insurance pay ments for millions of others.

Frustrated, President Action recently whined to a meeting of state governors that “Nobody knew that health care could be so complicated.”

Of course, by “nobody,” he meant that he didn’t know, therefore no one could’ve known, since he knows everything.

But wait — in a truly amazing magical act, The Donald has promised to dazzle us with more smoke and mirrors. His new Trumpcare plan, he brags, will guarantee that every American will have access to health coverage. Before you erupt in applause, however, notice the trick word he’s using: “Access.” That doesn’t mean you’ll get coverage, you’ll just get access to coverage — if you can afford it. It’s the same as promising that everyone will get “access” to owning a private jet and living in a fabulous Florida golf resort, just like Trump. See, he truly is magical!

Progressives not only need to resist the plutocratic agenda, but also to put forth our true people’s agenda and start rallying voters around it.

Now!

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Parting Shots: Travel Ban Trump and Bannon want to keep America “pure”...

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