“A president cannot defend a nation if he is not held accountable to its laws.” – DaShanne Stokes Issue #325
May, 2019
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Editor’s Letter The Mueller report finally came out, or at least what Trump’s Attorney General – picked for his absolute devotion to the president – allows us to see of it. And what do you know, 45 was right, it completely exonerates him. NOT! Funny how Trump loved the report when it was just a gleam in Barr’s eye, but now that it’s real, not so much. At press time, his team of lawyers was preparing a “rebuttal” to the report. Now, why on earth would you need to rebut a “total exoneration”? Strange indeed. The answer, of course – though his fanatical base does not want to hear it – is that it does the opposite of clearing the president. In fact, Mueller lays out in great detail how Trump and his team asked for help from the Russians, received help, benefitted from the help, and rewarded the help. Later, said beneficiary of foreign interference in our election did all he could to obstruct the investigation into it. Mueller also explains right there in the report that he felt bound by what is considered by many legal experts a flawed 1970s Justice Department policy which says that a sitting president can not be indicted. Yet, at the same time, he carefully and completely lays out a road map to doing just that, for some future entity. He even goes so far as to explain that said entity could indict after the president leaves office. Or, that Congress could do it immediately, via impeachment. Nice “exoneration” you got there, Mr Trump, we’d love to see it in action! Now, sure, there is a good argument for foregoing impeachment. And it ought to be completely ignored. The argument says that the impeachment of Bill Clinton totally backfired, handing the Dems a lot of popular support in its wake. But remember, Clinton’s impeachment was for lying about a frivolous sexual charge, which had nothing to do with treasonLong-shot liberal ous behavior – and the voters knew it. congressional candidate This is very different, and for the sake of the Lucifer Sims launches a country going forward, this president ought to be held to account. Otherwise, how do we hold quixotic campaign in this future presidents (or this one, while he still hilarious anthology of the holds office) to the rule of law? newspaper comic strip. – James Israel, Editor
Lucifer for Congress: Anthology #1 Available at Lulu.com
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The Humor Times (ISSN 1937 299X), Vol. 28, Issue 325, is published monthly by the Humor Times, 7271 Lindale Dr, Sacramento, CA 95828. (Not our mailing address, see “postmaster.”) Periodicals Postage Paid at Sacramento, CA and additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to: Humor Times, P.O. Box 162429, Sacramento, CA 95816-2429. Editor: James Israel. Publisher: Jim LeDoux. Email: info@humortimes.com. Phone: 916-758-8255. Printed by: Gold Country Printing, Auburn, CA 95603. Contributors: Steve Benson, Ruben Bolling, Jennifer Hollie Bowles, Bill Bramhall, Chris Britt, Jeff Cahlon, Jon Carter, Diane de Anda, Larry Dell, Will Durst, Michael Egan, Walt Handelsman, Phil Hands, Joe Heller, Jim Hightower, David Horsey, Paul Lander, Chan Lowe, Mike Luckovich, Joel Pett, Dan Piraro, Marshall Ramsey, Rob Rogers, Harley Schwadron, Drew Sheneman, Scott Stantis, Dana Summers, Tom Toles, Roz Warren, Dan Wasserman & others. Contributions: Send artwork/submissions to address or email above. The Humor Times is available by subscription. It is printed on recycled paper, using 60% post-consumer fiber. All contents ©2019. No part may be reproduced without permission.
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May, 2019
HUMOR TIMES
3
Long Time Coming After Barr’s summary, Trump’s team felt free at last...
because their Attorney General did his job...
at least, as he saw it.
Barr displayed courageous loyalty under fire...
and prepared the final release for prying eyes.
Trump took it as “total exoneration”...
and knew he was in the clear.
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But then, reality intervened. (continued)
HUMOR TIMES
May, 2019
The president tried to maintain his innocence...
but it wasn’t easy.
There was still plenty that remained hidden...
and Mueller was none too pleased about that.
and that we should get used to the way things are. Many insisted that it was all over...
For now, nothing much is likely to change...
May, 2019
including Trump’s behavior.
HUMOR TIMES
5
Dems’ White Man Problem There are enough tugs-of-war playing out inside the Democratic Party to keep a multi-franchise, company picnic busy for an entire summer. We’re not talking about which of the umpteen gazillion candidates to nominate. That’s the easy part: quarrelsome, bothersome, nettlesome, toothsome and gruesome, but easy. Much tougher questions abound concerning how far left to pull the party for the next election. Do they advocate Medicare For All? Some fervently say yes while others ardently say no. Free college? The Green New Deal? African-American reparations? Should NASA continue sending astronauts into space? How about sending Trump to the sun? To be honest, there’s general agreement on that. Democrats also need to figure out a way to tamp down their tendency to eat their own. Robust policy debates are one thing, but gouging huge gaping holes in each other for momentary hand-holds can prove to be awfully inviting to circling sharks. The ones that haven’t been sent to the sun, that is. Additionally, the Democrats find themselves saddled with a significant white man problem. Multiple white man problems, actually. You could say that the party responsible for Civil Rights is now handcuffed by and to it. Part of the difficulty is Democrats find it harder to attract the votes of white men than vegan hot dog vendors have selling their meatless sticks at a Wyoming rodeo. Only 34% of Caucasian males voted for the democratic candidate in the last presidential election, which is approximately the same percentage that would vote for a yellow dog. Another worry is that Democrats are not shy talking about wanting their next presidential candidate to be anything but another boring white man. Too bad Barack Obama can’t run again. With the amount of minorities and women he brought to the table, he didn’t need white men. Whereas Hillary Clinton actively avoided them, and yes, that includes Bill. To complicate matters, the two folks leading the liberal polls right now are Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders, who are not just white men, but extremely old white men. On election night 2020, Biden and Sanders will have trod this orb a cumulative 156 years. Which will come in handy in case history starts to repeat itself, because then either one could alert the rest of us. Joe hasn’t officially entered the race yet and Bernie isn’t really a Democrat but the two control 53% of the latest Emerson poll. Throw in Pete Buttigieg and Beto O’Rourke and you got four white men hogging the top 70% of all likely voters. Buttigieg, the mayor of South Bend, Indiana gets a White Man Pass because he’s gay and Beto is
not just the hot new thing, he’s WILL DURST the hot new Texas thing. And the prospects of winning the Lone Star State has the party drool ing like the afore mentioned yellow dog on a summer day at high noon. Nobody knows why women have yet to ignite the passion of their party. Maybe their sheer numbers cancel out what was previously a novelty. Or maybe since 44 of the 45 POTUSes so far have been white men, we are conditioned to think pale people with a y chromosome make the best president. Although, you got to admit, the current office holder is testing the limits of that presumption.
Potus First Pitch Forget the tulips. Ignore the robins. Don’t let the hummingbirds, awakening bears, geese flying north or egg-coloring kits on sale in the grocery store fool you. The date of the vernal equinox doesn’t matter one single whit, because the true start of spring is that bright and shiny day when Christ comes out of his cave, sees his shadow and baseball season starts. There’s your rebirth, boys. The slate has been swiped clean and anything is possible. This Is Next Year. Spring has indeed sprung. It seems, however, that the 45th POTUS disagrees with that sentiment. In lieu of throwing out the first pitch at the Washington Nationals home opener, Donald J. Trump encouraged his newly appointed Attorney General William Barr, to throw out the 1st Amendment instead. The baseball season is a long grind. 162 games. Six months of battling bitter rivals, self-inflicted errors, special counsels and the vagaries of supposedly impartial umpires. You’d think Mister Trump would appreciate the similarities to his new job. Nobody knows why the Oval Office Oompa Loompa refuses to drive the 2.9 miles from the White House to Nationals Park. Maybe he thinks all that green is wasted by not being part of a golf course. You know if his good buddy Vladimir Putin asked, he’d snap to it so fast he’d startle beer vendors. Same with Kim Jong Un and the Saudi Crown Prince. Nobody, not even the president, wants to tick that guy off. Its not like Trump has a candy-ass arm either. In 2004 he landed a Trump helicopter in the middle of center field and threw out the first pitch at a Somerset Patriots game, throwing a damn good high fastball. Just a little outside, but if Curt Schilling or Greg Maddux had thrown that pitch, it would have been called a strike. Every body likes baseball. Even ogres and trolls and troglodytes enjoy baseball. And yes, that includes George Will. Maybe Pres i dent Snow flake can’t risk having non-rally fans boo him. It’s not like he has to do it every home game. It’s once a year. That’s what presidents do on Opening Day. Ever since William Howard Taft in 1910. 109 years ago. They don’t call it the American Pastime for nothing, you know. FDR did it 11 times, most of them from a wheelchair for crum’s sakes. George Herbert Walker Bush, who was captain of the Yale base ball team, threw a wicked slider. Barack Obama famously threw a ball while wear ing a Na tion als jacket, a White Sox hat and mom jeans. Harry Truman threw out 7 opening day pitches, the same as Dwight D. Eisenhower. Ambidextrous Gerald Ford threw 2, one left-handed and one right-handed. It took Ronald Reagan four years to throw his first open ing day pitch, so maybe there’s hope Don ald Trump will get in the swing of things, because every single President has done it, except Jimmy Carter, who was a one-termer. Ominous. On this end, we’re picking the San Francisco Giants to beat the Milwaukee Brewers for the NL pennant. And the New York Yankees to beat the Oakland Athletics in the AL. Then the Giants reverse the results of the 1962 World Series and win it all in 7. Hey, a guy can dream, can’t he? Play ball. Will Durst is an award-winning, nationally acclaimed, often-tour ing po lit i cal comic. Catch his weekly “Durst Case Scenario: Midterm Madness” at SF Marsh, 1036 Valencia St (themarsh.org). See willdurst.com for calendar listings.
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HUMOR TIMES
May, 2019
It’s a Taxing Job Being president is hard...
you have to talk good...
and everyone’s always criticizing you. But the perks can be pretty nice.
You must jealously guard your secrets... and you have the power to do so.
Everyone would love special treatment like that...
May, 2019
and to have unquestioning loyalty.
HUMOR TIMES
7
Touchy-Feely Dems took Barr’s summary predictably...
8
after such a long build-up.
So they started concentrating on their 2020 candidates...
hoping to build momentum...
for the best possible choice.
As for Bernie, he’s climbed to the top of the pile...
and his message remains consistent, no matter what.
Yep, it’s one big happy family. (continued)
HUMOR TIMES
May, 2019
Economic Woes But Biden is in the back of everyone’s mind...
Britain is having a rough go of it...
a guy who gets a little too cozy sometimes.
and it may not end well.
Progressives would like him to just stay away... In the U.S., wealth taxes have been proposed...
because he’s not only old school, he’s an old fool. but the rich say there are other ways to raise big bucks.
May, 2019
HUMOR TIMES
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Cartertoons • www.cartertoons.com
•
by Jon Carter
Cartertoons • www.cartertoons.com
•
by Jon Carter
‘We Report, You Decry!’ Ocasio-Cortez Supports Border Wall in Exchange for Three Slices of Avocado Toast Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York has reportedly caved to the temptation of DC power politics.
Ocasio-Cortez almost immediately folded when offered three slices of avocado toast, and is now supporting the pres i dent’s cor ner stone cam paign promise to build a very big, great and beautiful wall across the US-Mexico border, according to fabricated sources. Sen. Dianne Feinstein of California attempted to write a think piece about how mil len nials were kill ing the once-profitable political corruption industry, but accidentally made a Google search. At press time, Ocasio-Cortez’s base was disappointed, but really couldn’t blame her. Reported by StubhillNews.com.
Surgeon General’s Warning: Humor Times Habit-Forming The U.S. Surgeon General warned citizens about a national humor magazine called the Humor Times today, saying it was “habit forming” and could lead to serious bouts of belly-laughter – upsetting the habitually pessimistic and people with weaker stomachs. “Sure, we all like to laugh,” the official said, “but at what price? Sudden guffaws can disturb those nearby. Tears of laughter can blur your vision. And smiling can tire your facial muscles.” “We’ve all heard the line, ‘laughter is the best medicine,’” he went on, “but is it, really? Perhaps too much of a good thing is just that – too much. Be careful out there, America.” (Ed. note: A subscription form can be found on page 3 – use at your own risk!)
An anonymous source within the Kushner house hold recently leaked the real reason Kirstjen Nielsen was forced to resign. It started when she invited Ivanka to surreptitiously visit one of the entry points where mothers and children of asylum seekers were being separated. Ivanka accepted the invitation, using the transportation expenses to add a trip to Disneyland with her three children. After arriving at the border station, Ivanka waved goodbye to the nanny and the children as she was whisked away in a limousine flanked by armed Border Patrol SUVs to tour the border checkpoints and view the lines of asylum seekers. Reportedly, when Ivanka returned to rejoin her children, neither the children nor the nanny could be found. A panicked Ivanka began yelling that they had been kidnapped for ransom. Since the nanny was also missing, she immediately became suspect. Secret Service agents were found standing outside a check post in an intense argument with the border officials. It seems that the nanny decided to take the restless for a walk, in hopes of
tiring them out so they would take a nap. They walked through the check post, along with other moth ers and chil dren who were ush ered through, but the Secret Service agents were stopped – as adult males, the Border Patrol did not allow them into the area. Apparently, the nanny and children became lost in the crowd of crying children and mothers. By the time the Secret Service was allowed to enter and search, because of her complexion and dark hair, the nanny had been identified as a Central American attempting illegal entry with her three children. The Border Patrol agents dismissed her identification as forgeries, handcuffed her, and took the three children to a temporary holding cell enclosed by wire fencing. As the Kushner children were finally removed, five-year-old Joseph pointed to the other children in the cages and asked, “Aren’t you going to take them out too?” The Secret Service agent gave him a weak smile and responded, “Oh no, that would make your grandpa really mad.” Reported by Diane de Anda.
President Trump has repeatedly promised a healthcare plan to replace Obamacare, but has never provided any specifics. That all changed today, however, as the president himself outlined a plan he is calling “TrumpCare.” In his own words: “First of all, TrumpCare is a fan tas tic healthcare plan, probably the best healthcare plan created by any president ever. It will have lots of options. In fact, it will have so many options that you will get tired of having options. “The first option is to keep whatever coverage you currently have. That’s right, unlike Obama’s lie, you will be able to retain your current doctor. Depending on the annual premium you choose, you will be covered for one or possibly even two visits per year. “The second option is to go without coverage. Let’s face it; most of you don’t get sick and aren’t going to get sick in the near future. So why should you pay for something you don’t need? You won’t, that’s what. And if you do get sick, chances are you’ve saved so much money in unpaid premiums that you’ll be able to cover any costs incurred.
“The third option is to wait until you turn 65. At that point, we’ve got a great plan we’ve created just for you called Medicare Lite. It’s kind of like the current Medicare except without a lot of the expensive extras that most folks don’t need, like medicine and surgeries.
“The fourth option is a package of on-line medical resource services. I bet most people don’t know that these services even exist and they cost you nothing. I discovered them a few years ago and, believe me, they’re fantastic. They in clude WebMD, Net Doc tor and MayoClinic. I’ve been using them for some time now, and, as you can see, I’m as healthy as a horse.
Acting President Donald J. Trump has once again attacked Michigan Democratic Rep. Ilhan Omar over her comments related to the 9/11 attacks. The Muslim representative has been subjected to viscous scrutiny following her remarks that Muslims were unfairly subjected to viscous scrutiny after the attacks. In a special press conference, Trump reminded U.S. citizens that, “The day they forget the day Trump Tower once again became the tallest building in downtown Manhattan is the day the terrorists win.” “I proudly remember how we remodeled the tower in 1979 on the cheap by stiffing contractors, making Manhattan great again,” he added. Trump went on to decry Omar’s comments as another leftist attempt to undermine the long-running U.S. tradition of demonizing minority groups. At press time, the Trump building was still only the 17th tallest building in NYC. Reported by StubhillNews.com.
Libra - Keep the center of your Scale open. Balance is rarely achieved by putting up walls.
Taurus - Happy Birthday Bulls! It’s warm, the birds are singing, and yummy cake can fulfill any voids in your life for a day or two.
Scorpio - When you finally say something you really mean, don’t be surprised if others fall in love with you or recoil in horror, you sadistic Scorpion.
Gemini -Sure, you can shut one of your Twins off for a while, but just like Betty White, she’ll show up again somewhere, dancing and making lewd jokes.
Sagittarius - Yes, listening to music at obnoxious volumes and driving can be very therapeutic, unless your dumbass speeds-up when the light turns red to cut people off.
Cancer - Enjoy the warm water, Crabs. It’s the only thing that can get in and out of your shell without dying, being very confused, or horribly stinking.
Capricorn - Just because you believe in the right to bear arms doesn’t mean you have to believe in all the politics of a fat bald dude who talks out the side of his neck. Aquarius - Just because you believe in protecting the environ ment does n’t mean you have to believe in all the politics of contemporary liberalism, like killing unborn babies. Pisces - As special as you may think you are, the Fish sign is probably only your Sun sign... Some really awesome people have far more interesting planets in Pisces.
“The fifth option is something I’m calling MexiCare. For the price of a round trip Greyhound bus ticket, you can head down to Mexico, where the cost of healthcare services is a fraction of what it is here. That’s because the Mexicans took advantage of us with NAFTA. So it’s time we took advantage of them and started using their healthcare system. “The sixth option is something I’m calling CanadaCare. For the price of a round trip Greyhound bus ticket, you can head up to Canada and buy all the pharmaceuticals you need for a fraction of what the drug companies charge here. I’ve already taken advantage of this option and sent my boy Eric to Toronto to buy my Propecia, Crestor, Ambien, aspirin and antibiotics. “ T h e f i n a l o p t i o n i s t h e gr e a t e s t : MortgageCare. Simply sign up your home, and if you experience a healthcare emergency, we’ll take out a second mortgage for you, which should cover your medical expenses for most routine surgeries and procedures. If it’s anything more serious than that, we’ll send you a ‘Good luck and get well’ card at no extra cost.” Reported by David Martin.
Ripping the Headlines Today
By Jennifer Hollie Bowles
Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to By Paul Lander. All you need to do is follow one simple rule: barely pay attention and jump to conclusions. So, here are some headlines today and my first thoughts: Kelly Ripa accidentally grabs pal Andy Cohen’s crotch on ‘Live with Kelly and Ryan’ If that doesn’t ‘straighten’ him out, nothing will. Bernie Sander’s taxes show he’s in the 1 percent See how much money you can save by never buying a comb? Lori Loughlin thought prosecutors weren’t serious She’s now in danger of living ‘a 20-years to Lifetime movie.’ Nicolas Cage’s bride has checkered criminal past filled with DUIs & allegations of assault …damn, and she still could do better! Wikileaks founder Julian Assange arrested after Ecuador withdrew his asylum Or, as it’s known in the UK ‘Jexit.’ Yo Yo Ma played his cello at the USA/Mexico border Damn, I bet if his name was Yo Ma Ma he’d have performed Hip Hop. 2020 Vision: Elizabeth Warren is the first major candidate to call for impeachment, as Mueller Report fallout continues Tempted to say she wants Trump’s scalp, but I won’t…
Catch up on previous funny Horoscope columns by Jennifer Hollie Bowles that you may have missed on the Humor Times website at humortimes.com!
12
Trump: ‘We Will Never Forget the Day the Trump Building Became the Tallest in Manhattan’
TrumpCare Details Finally Revealed in Speech by President
Aries - Another year older and nothing has changed? Just remember, you are your fault.
Virgo - If you look at the Sun long enough, you’ll go blind. If you look at the Moon long enough, you’ll go mad. If you look at video games long enough, you’ll hate peo ple. Just close your eyes.
Aspiring to the High Standards Set by Cable News
Exposed: Real Reason Nielsen Forced to Resign
Horoscopes for Jerks: May, 2019
Leo - Your charisma goes a long way in winning people over, but eventually many will learn that you don’t give a shit, just like a preacher with a Porsche.
Headline News Section
Sarah Huckabee Sanders said members of Congress aren’t smart enough to understand Trump’s tax returns That, and most can’t read Russian! Mueller Report released to public contains nearly 1,000 redactions Damn, the Mueller Report has so many blackouts it reminds Brett Kavanaugh of high school. Court documents reveal R. Kelly has only $650 to his name No word if it’s cash or Chuck ECheese coupons. Arianna Grande brought out *NSYNC without Justin Timberlake Up next Sons, no Mumford. Mueller report shows Trump made attempts to influence Russia investigation Looks like Trump is suffering from P.E... premature exoneration. Tiger Woods’ Masters win hailed as ‘greatest comeback’ by Michael Jordan Tiger is back! Hide your fire hydrants and Escalades! Carl’s Jr. is going to debut a CBD-Infused Rocky Mountain High Burger for 4/20 Yup, the burgers will be free, but fries will be like a 100-bucks a stick!
Read more columns by Paul Lander at humortimes.com.
HUMOR TIMES
May, 2019
Springtime
May, 2019
Blue Earth
Spring had sprung...
The prez issued a dire warning...
and Earth Day was observed.
suddenly concerned about the environment.
Now it’s time to celebrate motherhood...
Congressional Republicans were also alarmed...
and usher in summer.
saying there’s more than one way to “go green.”
HUMOR TIMES
13
Sanctuary “No more Mr Nice Guy,” said Trump...
“There’s only one way to save our country,” he insisted.
He said it’s time for drastic action...
and that Mexico Sanctuary Cities will pay.
But some see opportunity were others see crisis.
The asylum problem persists...
but Trump hires only the “best people”...
14
and with their help, he will no doubt save the day.
HUMOR TIMES
May, 2019
If You Like Your Health Care, You Can’t Keep It The prez was anxious to get back to what he does best...
although, as always, they eventually got on board.
but the GOP congress felt let down...
Trump can always get the feedback he craves...
because his base never doubts him. They patiently await the new plan...
which will no doubt be historic...
May, 2019
and instant.
HUMOR TIMES
15
The Hightower Lowdown
Wikileaked
As We Gape at the Trump Sideshow, Corporations Are Picking Our Pockets
Time passed slowly at the embassy...
As America rapidly urbanized in the 1920s and ’30s, nearly every burgeoning city gave rise to a jumbled, boisterous side of town that lay somewhere between exciting and dangerous. One such place in my state, known as “Deep Ellum,” was a stretch of Elm Street in East Dallas. A predominantly African American community, it also hosted a freewheeling mix of immigrant laborers, rural migrants, musicians, saloon keepers, preachers, fortune-tellers and assorted hustlers. It was both bedazzling and dicey — the sort of place where the blues lay in wait for innocents. As a popular song of the day warned: If you go down in Deep Ellum, Keep your money in your shoes Or you’ll go home With the Deep Ellum blues. Oh, sweet mama, Your daddy’s got them Deep Ellum blues.
and eventually, everyone wears out their welcome.
There were cries of injustice...
A 1937 article in a black weekly described it as a rollicking scene “where business, religion, hoodooism, gambling, and stealing goes on at the same time without friction.” The writer told about seeing a Bible-thumping street preacher mesmerize a crowd by prophesying that “Jesus Christ would come to Dallas in person in 1939.” As the evangelizer grew louder, “a pickpocket was lifting a week’s wages from another guy’s pocket, who stood with open mouth to hear the prophecy.” Some 80 years later, our whole country is living through a reign of pure flimflam — one without any of Deep Ellum’s sketchy charms. Our media, politics, government, public discourse and civic focus have been captured by the mesmerizing All Things Trump sideshow — from the Putin bromance to the Saudi bone-saw horror, from constant Cabinet chaos to the caravan bugaboo, from his vanishing middle-class tax cut to his illusory wall, from peep-show vulgarity to full-monty corruption… and to the nonstop spectacles emanating from this White House. As we gape 24/7 at the amazing ridiculousness of The Donald, however, our pockets are being picked, not by scammers who are barely getting by themselves but by wildly rich, greedy and powerful corporations. These members of the corporate elite in America profess dismay at Trump’s ignorance, arrogance and all-around awfulness, but they’re
JIM HIGHTOWER delighted to exploit his power of distraction, which helps them grab more power and wealth at the expense of you and me. They’ve known all along that Trump’s “drain the swamp” campaign pledge was a cynical political slogan. After all, he is the scion of a New York real estate con artist, who followed Daddy into the mucky gurgles of deep financial rot. Sure enough, far from drain ing Wash ing ton’s pay-to-play swamp, Trump promptly repackaged it as a luxury hot tub resort, selling off parcels to eager corporate buyers. And lo, in practically no time, the slick ooze of Trump’s swamp (including tax breaks, regulatory repeals, monopoly promotion and labor suppression) has lubricated the way for the biggest, richest and greediest of corporate powers to broaden and deepen their control over consumers, workers, suppliers, competitors, technology and government itself. The dominance of these profiteering interests did not, of course, begin with the Trump sideshow. For the past half-century, they and their acolytes have steadily spread the pernicious legalistic fiction that a corporation’s sole obligation is to generate as much profit as possible for its shareholders. Every administration since (Nixon, Carter, Reagan, Bush I, Clinton, Bush II and Obama) has essentially accepted this ridiculous fairy tale as fact. And, to one degree or another, each has taken steps that have incrementally ad vanced the su premacy of corporate interests over all others. But when Trump Inc. crashed into Washington — KABLOOIE! — incrementalism exploded into a government of agencies almost wholly owned and run by Wall Street bankers, CEOs, industry lobbyists and corporate lackeys often plucked from the ranks of former Congress critters. Rather than seeking favors from government officials, corporate interests have now largely become the government. And while we gawk at the president’s monkeyshines, these gluttons are looting the people’s treasury and fast locking in a permanent American oligarchy.
but the president had forgotten all about it.
16
HUMOR TIMES
May, 2019
Everybody Gets One
History in Flames
There were signs from the beginning...
It was a sad day for France...
that things might be bit lax at this White House.
and for everyone who loves Notre Dame.
It will take time...
Trump gave them out like paper towels to flood victims...
to all his favorite peops.
May, 2019
but it must be done.
HUMOR TIMES
17
Miscellaneous Mischief
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HUMOR TIMES
May, 2019
May, 2019
HUMOR TIMES
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