Humor Times, March 2020

“The unacceptable does not become more acceptable if it is accepted by increments.” – David Frum Issue #335

March, 2020

‘World’s Funniest News Source’ Mere l $2.98 y ®

A Monthly News Summary, as Reported by the World’s Finest Editorial Cartoonists!

OMNETWORKS Free your mind and the rest will follow www.aofonline.org 916-304-3796 2

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Available at the Artists Collaborative Gallery 129 K St. Old Sacramento www.johnreigerpottery.com March, 2020

Editor’s Letter In a disaster for the rule of law and hopes for an enduring democracy here in the good ol’ U.S. of A., Republican Senators backed the sham trial Moscow Mitch had planned, voting not to call a single witness. Some “trial”! Afterwards, Senators like Maine’s Susan Collins expressed the belief that President Trump has likely “learned his lesson.” Oh, really? Since when has this ignorant, arrogant blowhard ever shown any remorse for anything?

In the end, only Utah Senator Mitt Romney could summon the courage to do the right thing, and that is a sad indictment on the entire Republican party. They all deserve to be voted out, for refusing to do their constitutional duty, and for empowering an out-of-control autocratic president to further erode our democracy. Collins in particular may well lose, as early polls show her tied with her Democratic challenger, Maine House Speaker Sara Gideon.

However, one happy consequence of the impeachment process finally being over is that cartoonists are now turning their attentions to other matters. For example, we’ve got two and a half pages on the Democratic presidential candidates this issue! This is not to say there’s not still a lot of Trump cartoons. After all, we need to present the conclusion of the impeachment (pages 8 & 9) and some of the aftermath, like Trump’s “victory tour,” in which he begins his campaign of revenge (page 15), as well as the scandalously subservient behavior of his doting, yet supposedly independent Attorney General, William Barr.

– James Israel, Editor

The Humor Times® (ISSN 1937 299X), Vol. 29, Issue 335, is published monthly by the Humor Times, 7271 Lindale Dr, Sacramento, CA 95828. (Not our mailing address, see “postmaster.”)

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Contributors: Steve Benson, Ruben Bolling, Bill Bramhall, Chris Britt, Jon Carter, Diane de Anda, Larry Dell, Will Durst, Michael Egan, Roger Freed, Walt Handelsman, Phil Hands, Joe Heller, Jim Hightower, David Horsey, Paul Lander, Chan Lowe, Mike Luckovich, Joel Pett, Dan Piraro, Marshall Ramsey, Rob Rogers, Harley Schwadron, Drew Sheneman, Scott Stantis, Dana Summers, Tom Toles, Roz Warren, Dan Wasserman & others.

Contributions: Send artwork/submissions to address or email above.

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March, 2020

HUMOR TIMES

www.patreon.com/humortimes 3

To Topple an Autocrat Democrats hoped the impeachment issue would catch fire...

Instead, it backfired.

but the salvation they craved was elusive.

They tried to turn things around with their first primary...

So Donald gloated and Nancy chided.

but botched the results.

Meanwhile, Joe Biden charged ahead...

4

looking to inspire the base the way Obama did. (continued)

HUMOR TIMES

March, 2020

As Biden built on his “joementum”...

a latecomer arrived on expensive gossamer wings...

promising to change bad habits.

But he’s attracting a lot of unwanted scrutiny.

and his old nemesis sounds bitter.

The party has never given Bernie much of a chance...

Centrist Dems can’t believe it...

March, 2020

but Sanders hopes to gain their trust. (conclusion pg. 7)

HUMOR TIMES

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The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews Elmer Fudd and Yosemite Sam Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews a couple cartoon Trumpsters.

ANNOUNCER: Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.

JERRY: I disagree, but I respect your right to be stupid.

All right wise guy. Dance!: Fires the gun again.

JERRY: Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? We’ll soon find out. Today on the show my guests are Trumpsters Yosemite Sam and Elmer Fudd.

ELMER: Shhh! Be vewy, vewy quiet! I’m hunting cwazy people today. You better wun, Duncan.

JERRY: Okay. But don’t have a meltdown. I have two left feet.

JERRY: Good morning, Looney Tunes.

JERRY: Yosemite. I’m curious. Why did you grow a moustache?

ELMER FUDD: Gweat gwasshoppers! I’m weally on The Jerry Duncan Show!

ELMER: I know. Because he wanted to wook wike his mother.

YOSEMITE SAM: I’m the meanest, toughest hombre that’s ever crossed the Rio Grande. And I ain’t namby-bamby! Don’t insult my president, Duncan.

YOSEMITE: I’ll blast your head off for saying that Fuddy.

JERRY: Yosemite. You’re a Trump supporter.

Even campaigning for him.

YOSEMITE: I have a huge following called Rubes for Boobs. We support Republican candidates runnin in the 2020 election. Last night, we all went huntin for rabbits. Didn’t bag one.

Shucks, I was dyin for some rabbit stew.

ELMER: Did you say wabbits? You should of invited me. Wabbits wuv carrots. That’s how you find em, Yosemite.

YOSEMITE: Dance for your supper!

The studio door bursts open. Bugs Bunny enters.: BUGS BUNNY: Ehhh. What’s up, Doc? JERRY: Trump got impeached by the House.

BUGS: That’s cool. Hey, Yosemite. If nothing goes right, try going left.

ELMER: Huh-huh-huh-huh.

YOSEMITE: You mean Bernie Sanders?!

YOSEMITE: People is workin. The economy boomin.

ELMER: Kiww da wabbit!

ELMER: Sowy. Huh-huh-huh-huh.

YOSEMITE: Fudd and me are campaigning door to door for Trump. We want to reach the high school dropouts. He promises to give them Walmart greeter jobs. Let’s Make America Great Again in 2020.

JERRY: Not in my studio. You two morons have two minutes to make your case to re-elect Trump.

JERRY: A 23 trillion dollar deficit, you John Bolton look alike. Most of it since Trump became president.

YOSEMITE: All right. All right. Don’t rush me, cause I’m thinkin. And my head hurts.

E L M E R : H e ha s t h e sowut i on. Cut entitlements. No more medicare and social secuwity.

JERRY: What does a dropout and an unvaccinated child have in common?

ELMER: The Twumpster does n’t wike cwitters.

YOSEMITE: Let the seniors eat cake.

YOSEMITE: How would I know?

YOSEMITE: He don’t even like dogs.

JERRY: They never get past the fourth grade.

JERRY: I’m suspicious of people who don’t like dogs. But I totally trust a dog when it doesn’t like a person.

Sam pulls out a pistol and fires.: YOSEMITE

ELMER: And wabbits.

JERRY: That’s cruel even for a Republican.

LMER: Welcome to Twump’s Amewica.

JERRY: See you tomorrow.

Humor Times on Broadway!

Okay, not Broadway exactly, but a play inspired by a Humor Times column is opening in NYC on March 5th! ‘The Jerry Duncan Show’ originated as a column on the Humor Times website. (See the most recent above.)

Eric Tonken

Paige Susan Anderson

BobbyTemple

Joe Battista

Thami Moscovici

Michael Donato

The Jerry Duncan Show opens at the Thirteenth Street Repertory Company, 50 West 13th Street, New York City (Greenwich Village), playing March 5-15, 2020.

Jerry Duncan, 40ish, is an arrogant, bombastic, nationally syndicated radio talk show host who interviews politicians in the headlines. Everyone from Donald Trump to Bernie Sanders (see interviews he’s done in his column on this website at the links). The play is a comedy that allows the audience to watch the characters say on stage what they too may think, but are afraid to say. The characters have a comic spirit that is physical and energetic, triggering emotional reactions to Jerry’s back and forth taunting during the radio interview.

Off the air, Jerry is an insecure nebbish. He is single and lives alone in an apartment. A victim of circumstance, his life has suffered from a domineering mother named Maggie, now deceased. But she’s not out of his life, as we hear her talking to Jerry on stage, though not visible. Jerry is on a journey to free himself from his past.

The play, like the column, was written by Dean B. Kaner and is directed

by Joe John Battista. Cast members are Eric Tonken, Thami Moscovici, Paige Susan Anderson, Bobby Temple and Michael Donato (see head shots).

Performances: March 5, 6, 7, 12, 13, 14 at 7:30 pm, and March 8, 15 at 4 pm.

Admission: $18 / Seniors & Students: $15.

Tickets on sale at: www.brownpapertickets.com/event /4473800, at the theater, or call (800) 838-3006. Limited seating and expected sell-out crowds.

Jerry Duncan Show logo

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HUMOR TIMES

March, 2020

Topple (conclusion)

State Of The Kingdom

Moderate Dems are looking elsewhere...

There was a rip in the fabric of spacetime...

trying to gauge “electability.”

and it may threaten democracy as we know it.

It’s hoped that eventually one strong candidate will emerge...

In this twilight zone, racists are honored as heroes...

but they’ll have to survive first. and American ideals are replaced by autocracy.

March, 2020

HUMOR TIMES

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Impeachment Saga: The Smarmy Conclusion One explosive witness could’ve blown up McConnell’s plans...

being quite the divisive figure.

But Republicans decided he wasn’t a big deal...

and that he couldn’t have helped anyway.

The president’s lawyers said it was an open and shut case... with precedent...

arguing that Trump can do whatever he wants.

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And they had a provocative alternate theory. (continued)

HUMOR TIMES

March, 2020

The whole world was watching...

but Republicans decided not to look.

They said it was important to move on...

but it’ll be hard to forgive... the Democrats.

Only one brave soul bucked the trend... while all the rest folded.

They said Trump has no doubt learned his lesson...

March, 2020

and he probably won’t try to cheat ever again. The End.

HUMOR TIMES

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Cartertoons • www.cartertoons.com

•

by Jon Carter

Cartertoons • www.cartertoons.com

•

by Jon Carter

‘We Report, You Decry!’

NYC Unveils ‘Little Free Gun Safe’ in Effort to Curb Violence

By Dave Richards New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio dedicated the city’s first “Little Free Gun Safe” today, in an effort to curb rising gun violence, a troubling trend as of late.

“This is a great day for New York and a great day for democracy. I couldn’t be prouder of the work we have accomplished here this week. Gun violence is out of control in our fair city, and that ends now. I am pleased to present New York City’s very first Little Free Gun Safe,” Mayor de Blasio said, before cutting a yellow ribbon officially kicking off the pilot program, a first of its kind in the U.S. The program will work like the Little Free Library, depending on donations of guns from private citizens. As a show of faith, Mayor de Blasio donated a favorite from his personal arsenal, a Glock 19 9mm semi-automatic pistol. “That’s really tough, I love that smoke wagon,” he said, a tear streaming down his face.

N.Y. Governor Andrew Cuomo, on hand for the ceremony, said, “Safety should not be a concern if you want to walk your dog or go for a jog. If you are like me and you sleep with your Remington 870 Express Pump-Action 12-gauge shotgun, you really start to wonder if you have enough firepower. It sure would be nice not to have to do that. Although I don’t know if I could fall asleep without it.”

A spokesperson for the mayor said it would help build community. “Neighbors helping neighbors, all getting to know each other a little better. They can work together building and decorating a Little Free Gun Safe and even make it unique to their own communities.”

Hank Williams Jr.’s A Country Boy Can Survive blared over the loudspeakers during a post-ceremony reception, while the mayor and city council members enthusiastically shot their guns in the air in celebration.

Headline News Section Aspiring to the High Standards Set by Cable News

Sanders’ Hair Stylist Quits, Cites ‘Overwhelming Workload’

By Evan Helmlinger A key member of the Bernie Sanders campaign — the hair stylist — has suddenly resigned.

The chief hair stylist for Bernie Sanders, Senator and presidential candidate, abruptly quit over the weekend. He cited an “overwhelming workload” in trying to manage the self-described democratic socialist’s hair during the ongoing presidential campaign. hair stylist quits“It’s like it has a mind of its own. It just won’t stay put!” remarked the stylist, John Kemptlooker, becoming emotional. “I see those wisps in my dreams. Make it stop!”

Bernie Sanders has long been known for his unkempt look. According to the hair stylist, he and Sanders had agreed on trying a different hair style for the 2020 campaign: combed. That plan, however, quickly fell apart.

“I saw him on television making a speech,” Kemptlooker recalled. “One wispy lock came

loose, then another. Before I knew it, we had a crisis on our heads — I mean, our hands. During the break, I tried to straighten things out, but the damage was done. He had gone from United States senator to opinionated grandfather.”

The Sanders campaign has not responded to our calls for comment.

A spokesperson, however, issued a brief statement shortly after the news broke, saying, “While we’re sad to lose any member of the team — especially one this critical — we’re more jealous than anything. I keep finding gray hairs in my lunch and it’s really freaking me out.”

When asked what he plans to do next, the stylist responded, “I think I’ll take some time off, maybe visit a retreat. Keep my hands out of hair until I’m emotionally and spiritually healed. Then, maybe I’ll move out to Los Angeles, see if folks like Larry David could use my services. What could go wrong?”

Trump Meets with Religious Leaders of HATE

By Ralph Lombard Donald Trump met today with top religious leaders of the controversial Holy Antagonistic Theological Elitist society – or HATE, as it’s more commonly known – for their annual “Hot Wings and a Prayer” roundtable discussion and smackdown. The event, held at an undisclosed Hooters location, featured hillbilly-style arm wrestling, bible-thumping ‘longside the head competitions, sing-alongs with dirty disco-dancing Donnie and his all-rural orchestra , as well as a spirited game of “Pin the Tale on the Donkey, Ass!” to wrap-up the day’s festivities.

Trump took the opportunity to assert his own deep personal faith, declaring: “I prays myself, all the time!”

He then presented HATE’s CEO and president, Reverend Graham Wizard, with the Trump administration’s latest list of revised and abridged biblical passages, to help make them “more accessible and user-friendly in today’s modern world, especially for the president”: An I for an I, and a me for a me.

Do undo others.

Judge not, lest ye be judged, liberal assholes!

Can a leopard change his spots, and if not, where can he launder them?

Let him who is without sense off the hook.

Eat, drink and be scary.

For everything there is a treason.

Ye shall not eat of the forbidden fruit, unless you’re a Trump platinum member.

He who lives by the sword should be allowed to cut a deal.

Money is the fruit of all evil.

Be where false profits.

I’m innocent and whitewash my hands of any responsibility. …and (instead of “Believe in me”)…

Believe me!

Ripping the Headlines Today

Hot on the heels of securing the coveted endorsement by the Wine Cave Workers Union, Mayor Pete Buttigieg has now been officially endorsed by the CIA.

By Paul Lander. All you need to do is follow one simple rule: barely pay attention and jump to conclusions. So, here are some headlines today and my first thoughts:

The endorsement had seemed like a forgone conclusion, due to Buttifieg’s career with the organization before it shifted its focus to wineries and overthrowing even more democratically elected regimes around the world.

“We’ve always had a sweet spot for our boy Special Agent Rat, but we had to make sure he hadn’t changed since his time with us,” intoned Eric Bischoff, acting director of the CIA. “But it’s clear to us now, our sweet boy never left us, brother, because when you’re in the nWo, you’re in the nWo 4-lyfe.”

Bischoff then continued: “To all press members, please nake sure “NWO” is spelled like those sarcastic Sponge Bob memes with the alternating uppercase and lowercase.

“Oh yeah! And that the ‘for’ is spelled with just the number 4, and ‘life’ is spelled with a “Y” where the I should be. I’m aware that this might be a little confusing, so please just reach out to us if you have any spelling questions.

Thanks.”

Special Report by StubhillNews.com

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Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to

John Bolton’s book coming out In honor of Trump it will repeat Chapter 11 six times.

Roger Stone asks for a new trial after Trump accuses juror of bias In fairness, Stone will never get a jury of his peers; but that’s mostly true because Bond villains are fictional.

Happy 78th birthday, Mike Bloomberg What you been up to?

We barely hear from you.

Exxon’s market value has crumbled by 184 billion dollars $167 billion if you pay for stock in cash.

Rush Limbaugh is weirdly fascinated with Pete Buttigieg kissing his husband Rush has a husband?

Scientists discovered a marijuana compound that’s 30 times more potent than THC But, then forgot where they put the information.

People shocked Dog the Bounty Hunter’s engaged after only a few weeks of dating In fairness, that’s like 7 years in Dog the Bounty Hunter Years.

Televangelist Jim Bakker is selling a liquid that allegedly ‘kills’ the coronavirus for $300 … Proving he doesn’t need to reopen his Gospel theme park to take people for a ride.

Trump says the Coronavirus goes away when the weather warms up Yeah, but, maybe it’s replaced by something co o ler a nd more re fre s h ing like CoronaLightVirus.

Papa John’s founder clears the air: He didn’t eat 40 whole pizzas in 30 days … I’m still betting the air isn’t clear…

Justin Bieber sleeps in a hyperbaric chamber and gets weekly IV infusions since he’s gotten sober from weed Damn, he’s one glove and a pet monkey from being Michael Jackson.

By David Martin Every state is now jostling to not only be first, but most attention-grabbing with these new primary plans.

2020 is here and that means the start of the year-long race for the White House. It used to be that New Hampshire was first out of the gate with its February primary. More recently, Iowa has stolen first spot with its February 3rd caucuses. Now other states are getting jealous of all the attention lavished on these two otherwise minor jurisdictions. And a few of them are even doing something about it, with new attention-grabbing plans.

Iowa Caucus. Photo by Phil Roeder, flickr.com.

Check out these recent developments affecting the Democratic Presidential candidate selection process:

In Stunning Coup, CIA Endorses ‘Special Agent’ Buttigieg

Time for the NBA All-Star Weekend on TNT Or, as the Kardashian’s call it ‘Tinder.’

States Vie for Most Attention-Grabbing Primaries

Russia’s trust in Putin falls to six-year low despite high approval rating: pollster Yup, it went from 124% to 118%.

Michael Avenatti convicted of trying to extort Nike for twenty million dollars … or, about the same amount as a couple of pairs of Air Jordan’s.

Delaware Looking to turn the Iowa caucuses into back page news, Delaware announces its new house party voting system for February 1st. Patterned after the famous Tupperware marketing scheme, hundreds of housewives throughout the state will invite their neighbors over for an evening of snacks, games and lingerie modelling. Each Presidential candidate is assigned a particular racy undergarment and the final sales totals determine who wins Delaware’s precious 28 convention delegates.

Rhode Island The last of the original thirteen colonies to join the Union, Rhode Island seeks to now be the first in choosing the Democratic Presidential candidate with a January 31st voting date.

Eschewing the traditional primary process, the Ocean State opts to join forces with the Girl Scouts and their annual door-to-door cookie sale. Potential purchasers will be asked to choose a box of cookies bearing a likeness of their preferred candidate. Customers are encouraged to buy more than one box and can even “split” their votes, if they wish.

Wyoming Wyoming, the so-called Forgotten State, hopes to raise its profile with its attempt to be number one in the Presidential nomination sweepstakes. For the one-week period leading up to January 30th, the Democratic candidates and their supporters will roam the state and apply their individual brands to any of the millions of cattle grazing from Casper to Cheyenne. The “polls” close at 12 noon and Wyoming’s ranchers spend the rest of the day tallying the results.

Maine Still suffering from last year’s economic recession, Maine hopes both to be the first primary state and to kick start its ailing forestry industry. Supporters will have three days to cut, trim and mark timber with the name of their preferred candidate. Only those logs that make it to a designated “polling booth/saw mill” by January 29th will qualify for the final count.

Nevada Long known for its sins and vices, Nevada wants to be seen as a responsible partner in the democratic process. January 28th will see every casino in the state providing Nevada Democrats with their choice of poker chip, slot machine and roulette wheel identified by individual Presidential hopeful. Not only do the candidates get votes based on the day’s gambling action, they will also receive one per cent of the house proceeds to help finance their upcoming tree cutting and cattle branding efforts.

Read more columns by Paul Lander at humortimes.com.

HUMOR TIMES

March, 2020

The Enablers Only one Republican stood up to Trump...

and now he’s paying the price.

and only have eyes for The Donald.

The rest have fallen under the spell...

Some insist their courage is only delayed, like Bolton’s...

It’s not like it’s anything new, really...

March, 2020

but for now, they stand guard.

but it seems potentially much more costly.

HUMOR TIMES

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Gone Viral Quarantines seemed to spread like the virus itself...

Fan Boy The Attorney General is devoted to Trump over country...

so the prez took action... and that can’t end well.

and said everyone could rest easy.

He’s trying to ICE sanctuary cities...

But it’s not the only virus spreading. but is only doing as his Dear Leader wishes.

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HUMOR TIMES

March, 2020

Victory Tour The president wasted no time in gloating...

over those who would try to hem him in.

Republicans have given him the green light...

to go after his perceived enemies.

There’s no need to hide it anymore...

he can do whatever he wants.

but now it can only get worse.

Sure, we’ve all been paying for quite a while...

March, 2020

HUMOR TIMES

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The Hightower Lowdown

Sports

On the Ballot: The Egalitarian Future of Our Society A nation was transfixed...

and all stood still for a day.

Meanwhile, the sports world lost an icon, suddenly...

With dozens of Democratic candidates having entered the presidential race (some dropping out before you were aware they’d dropped in), with the main contenders herded into seven (and counting) televised debates stretching back to June, and with swarms of reporters and pundits descending on the tiniest blip in polls and on every candidate’s minor miscues, this campaign already feels never-ending. But at long last, we’re beginning what matters: voting!

This year, in addition to our decisions about candidates — and even though it’s not explicitly on the ballot — we voters will be making a fundamental decision about the egalitarian future of our society. The question we face is whether we will continue the same-old, same-old politics of enriching and empowering the few at the expense of the rest of us, or whether we will pivot to implement the transformative structural changes being pushed by Sen. Bernie Sanders, Sen. Elizabeth Warren, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and The Squad, and other progressive Democrats.

As you would expect, Trump Incorporated and his pack of sycophantic Congress critters are howl-at-the-moon opponents of “Medicare for All,” the wealth tax, tuition-free college and trade school, the Green New Deal, universal child care and the full package of populist policies that would begin reversing the scourge of inequality that continues spreading throughout our land.

But… Democrats?

Sadly, many of them are opposed, too. Not grassroots Dems, of course — not the hard-hit workaday people who need these reforms. But there’s a gaggle of don’t-rock-the-corporate-boat, fraidy-cat Democrats (mostly old-line pols, consultants, high-dollar donors and other Washington insiders) who’re presently having a collective fainting spell, declaring that Dems must abandon proposals for big systemic changes.

Why? Because, they exclaim, being so progressive, so plainspoken, so insistent — so, well, so Democratic — is frightening voters.

They warn that proposing major new policies to benefit everyone will let the Trumpeteers paint our candidates as scary “socialists.” Thus, they lecture, the proper course is to draw back to the corporate-centered, Clintonesque approach of incremental minimalism: an agenda of small, technocratic and legalistic tweaks that won’t disrupt the system itself.

This is the responsible path, they assure us, for winning over America’s moderate middle, particularly independent Republicans and white, middle-class swing voters. Never mind that the white middle class is not by and large made up of squishy moderates but of millions of

JIM HIGHTOWER mad-as-hell, downwardly mobile middle-classers who feel abandoned by both political parties and would just as soon blow up the whole system.

Still, the pusillanimous Democratic establishment is trying to push the party’s candidates to surrender their progressive ideals of an egalitarian future and just tinker around the edges of actual change.

With many families one medical disaster away from bankruptcy, most Americans are wondering why Democratic officials haven’t stood up for them. As a November New York Times poll reported, 81% of Democrats (and two-thirds of independents) support the idea of M4All legislation as proposed by Bernie Sanders and Rep. Pramila Jayapal. Hello… apple pie doesn’t get an approval rating that high!

Or take Elizabeth Warren’s proposal for a tiny wealth tax on megafortunes above $50 million — a tax that would finance education, infrastructure expansion and other crucial programs to advance America’s common good.

It’s bizarre to hear a clutch of Democratic Party operatives wailing that it scares common folks when our candidates take such “radical” stands.

Radical? In The Times’ poll, 77% of Democrats, 55% of independents and — check this — 57% of Republicans favored Warren’s tax on superfortunes.

Thank goodness such squeamish, small-ball Dems were not able to nullify big public solutions that Americans desperately needed in the past, such as the following: President Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s Social Security, labor protections and farm security measures.

Former President Ike Eisenhower’s interstate highway infrastructure.

Former President Lyndon B. Johnson’s civil rights, Medicare, Title IX and anti-poverty programs.

Even former President Nixon’s Environmental Protection Agency and Occupational Safety and Health Administration.

As a South Texas saying puts it, “A grandes males, grandes remedios” — for big problems, get big solutions. Obviously, our society’s problems today, from rampant inequality to climate change, are beyond huge, but how big will Democrats go in addressing these challenges?

and his daughter as well.

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HUMOR TIMES

March, 2020

Election Predilections Both parties are seeking revenge come November...

and it could get crazy.

Republicans say it’s all under control...

but the infamous “undecideds” could decide it.

Trump is confident...

yet may need to make another “perfect” phone call...

and knows his strategy of disparaging others is a winner.

March, 2020

HUMOR TIMES

Meanwhile, democracy is a fragile thing.

17

Miscellaneous Mischief

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HUMOR TIMES

March, 2020

March, 2020

HUMOR TIMES

19

Jeanette Midori Okazaki, DDS, Inc. • (916) 329-3400 2525 K Street, Suite 305, Sacramento • Most insurance plans accepted www.dentalandholistichealth.com

Family Dentistry with Tender Loving Care.

Traditional dentistry with holistic options offered in a warm, caring environment.

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Holistic Resource Referral In keeping with holistic philosophy, we begin each day with our Healing Circle. We do conscious breath-work, meditation and affirmations for our patients and ourselves to create healing, transformation and peace on our planet.

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Vic’s Ice Cream at these fine locations!

VOTED SACRAMENTO’S BEST ICE CREAM!

Vic’s Ice Cream is a delicious homemade treat anytime! Enjoy any of dozens of fabulous flavors, including IRISH COFFEE! And check out our homemade soups & sandwiches!

Manufacturing & serving quality products for over 50 years. Family owned & operated.

3199 Riverside Blvd.

448-0892

BROKEN!

This new play by local playwright Elise Marie Hodge follows an astronaut after returning to earth from the Space Station. He witnesses a mass shooting and loses touch with his humanity. He moves in next to a woman who is housebound and has spent too much time alone: Is romance possible between these two walled-off humans?

Playwright: Elise Marie Hodge Producer: Ray Tatar Director: Anthony D’Juan Actors: Dan Fagan, Elise Marie Hodge Call Carol at California Stage for reservations: 916-451-5822, Mon-Fri 10AM to 5PM

May 8 - June 7 Also Available at

WILLIE’S 5050 Arden Way Fair Oaks

®

Fri & Sat 8:00 PM, Sun 7:00 PM in the California Stage Theater

In the R25 Arts Complex, 25th & R St, Midtown • Free parking • Reservations: 916-451-5822 or CalStage.org

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