imagine
Issue 3 • May 2014
Snooze your way to fitness
see inside for details
Affordable trips to the Gold Coast
FEATURES 04.
How to have the successful marriage
Food & Nutrition 07
La Mia kitchenette offers some delights
LIFESTYLE 10 The Gold Coast affordable, easy, fun holidays
Wellbeing 12 5 of the most bizarre hotels in the world 16 Snooze your way to fitness 18 Top tips for dealing with sleep problems
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FROM THE EDITOR Thank you so much for your donations of articles and images to help make this edition possible. We still need donations to create each edition so if you know anyone that has a gift or talent which needs to be showcased then tell them about IMAGINE.
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Thank you all for your support
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How to have a successful marriage Eric Barker
What you can learn from arranged marriages "Arranged marriage! AGH! Weird!"Hold on a sec. We can learn something here. What do researchers find when they compare at 50 arranged marriages and 50 "love" marriages? Love marriages start out happier — but that declines quickly.
Arranged
marriages start out less happy, but after 10 years, they're happier than love marriages. And stay that way.The couples who had married for love and been together less than a year averaged a score of 70 points out of a possible 91 on the love scale, but these numbers steadily fell over time. The love couples who had been married ten years or longer had an average score of only 40 points. In contrast, the couples in arranged marriages were less in love at the outset, averaging 58 points, but their feelings increased over time to an average score of 68 at the ten or more years mark.
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The happiness of arranged marriages means a couple can make magic if they try. So you need to actively keep the marriage happy.
What's the secret behind the long
angst in their relationships than
reported more negative
term success of arranged
were those who gave less credence
improvement strategies, lower
marriages? They have to work at it.
to fairy tales. – Lockhart 2000 [100
improvement success, and, in turn,
They don't passively rely on "magic"
Simple Secrets of Great
more negative relationship
and intense emotion. They have to
Relationships]. Feeling like it's all
evaluations… results suggest that
spend a lot of time thinking about
magic means it's out of your control
targeting the partner may do more
how to make it work. That process
— and that without that initial
harm than good despite that
of discovery is ostensibly the fun of
magic, it's hopeless. The happiness
relationship evaluations pivot on
courtship, too, except that in
of arranged marriages means a
whether the partner produces
arranged marriage the goal is to
couple can make magic if they try.
c h a n g e . [ " I m p ro v i n g i n t i m a t e
figure out how to be married, not
So you need to actively keep the
relationships: Targeting the partner
whether to marry. Research shows
marriage happy. How do you do
versus changing the self" from
expecting a fairy tale relationship is
that? Don't fix the bad. Increase the
Journal of Social and Personal
a prescription for disappointment.
good.
Look at your spouse as
Relationships]. John Gottman,
Elements of fairy tales such as
something you purchased "as-is."
researcher and author of The Seven
Cinderella were present in 78
Research shows trying to change
Principles for Making Marriage
percent of people's beliefs about
them doesn't work:…when
Work, says 69 percent of a couple's
romantic love. Those people were
participants (N = 160) focused their
problems are perpetual. These
more likely to have experienced
relationship improvement attempts
problems don't go away yet many
disillusionment, devastation, and
on changing the partner, individuals
couples keep arguing about them
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4 • Imagine•
year after year. Most marital arguments cannot be resolved. Couples spend year after year trying to change each other's mind – but it can't be done. This is because most of their disagreements are rooted in fundamental differences of lifestyle, personality, or values. By fighting over these differences, all they succeed in doing is wasting their time and harming their marriage. [The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work]. So if you can't change them and they won't change you, how can you reduce the bad stuff? You can't. But you don't need to. The best relationships are more about increasing the good than reducing the bad. Divorce may have less to do with an increase in conflict and more to do with a decrease in positive feelings.
Shelly Gable, professor of
psychology at the University of California at Santa Barbara, has demonstrated that how you celebrate is more predictive of strong relations than how you fight. [Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being]. Okay, so you need to increase the good times. What's the best way to do that? (This part is exciting. I mean, literally.). Forget romance. Think excitement. Think a pleasant date night is all it takes to keep love alive? Researchers did a 10 week study comparing couples that engaged in "pleasant" activities vs "exciting" activities. Pleasant lost. Those who had undertaken the "exciting" date nights showed a significantly greater increase in marital satisfaction than the "pleasant" date night group… [For Better: How the Surprising Science of Happy Couples Can Help Your Marriage Succeed]. Why would doing anything exciting have such a big effect on a relationship? Because we're lousy about realizing where our feelings are coming from. Excitement from any source will be associated with the person you're with, even if they're not the cause of it. As happiness researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky explains, excitement experienced mutually brings the tingles back. …Whether the couples were only dating or long-married, the ones who did the shared novel activity were more likely than the ones who did the shared neutral activity to agree to statements like "I feel happy when I am doing something to make my partner happy" and "I feel 'tingling' and 'an increased heartbeat' when I think of my partner" after the activity than before. [The Myths of Happiness: What Should Make You Happy, but Doesn't, What Shouldn't Make You Happy, but Does]. So no boring, lame date nights. Go do something exciting. Go dancing together or anything else you can both participate in as a couple. Sum up Keeping love alive can be tricky. You need to actively work at it and it's more important to increase the good then to reduce the bad. And the best way to do that is by increasing excitement. So you're hopping on roller coasters and going white water rafting — but what do you need to do when you're there? Pretend you're on your first date. Studies show pretending time with a romantic partner was a first date makes it more enjoyable for you and for your partner:
Across a series of studies, participants
underestimated how good they would feel in situations that required them to put their best face forward… participants who were instructed to engage in self-presentation felt happier after interacting with their romantic partner than participants who were not given this instruction… [Psyblog]. Why? On first dates we make an effort to impress. And we're full of hope. Love means being a little delusional (Some researchers even think love might qualify as a mental illness.). Thinking your partner is better than they really are makes for longer, better relationships. Sandra Murray and her colleagues have been studying romantic relationships now for several decades, and have found that idealising one's partner is a sure recipe for marital success; moreover, the higher one's ideals are and the more one idealises one's partner, the more satisfied one is with the relationship – and the longer it is likely to last. [The Science of Love] Letting yourself be a little crazy — crazy for your partner — pays off.
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Let me introduce myself. My name is Elisabetta, an Italian ex-pat, based in East London. I am a mother, nature and animal lover, have a passion for food and all things related to it, a food photography enthusiast and a self trained cook (with a little help from my Mamma, I should say!). There are two important philosophies in my kitchen:
The importance of using good quality ingredients, locally sourced whenever possible and to enjoy every minute of your cooking.
I say this for two reasons. Firstly, I strongly believe that good quality ingredients will improve the taste of your dish and are therefore necessary to achieve the best results. Secondly, cooking is all about enjoying the process of preparing food, and with it comes mistakes and disasters!
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Interior design bringing luxury into your life Interior design is putting your identity on a space and calling it your own. It's the hallmark of your life in a moment in time and can say a lot about you. Here at Weeraddana Designs Pradeep will guide your through the process of designing your space with charm and elegance. He will firstly get to know you and then your desires for your space. Getting to know a client even for the shortest of time is his skill in being able to deliver the design of your dreams.
Next to buying a
home is the stress of designing, decorating and furnishing it but here at Weeraddana Designs we take that pressure of you and guide you with ease through to the finished product. For contact pradeep@imaginemagazines.com
The natural beauty of this world can bring together ethic design, bringing together colour and vitality of living to be used in your space Imagine• cbtinthecity.com • 9
The Gold Coast, Affordable, Easy , Fun Holidays By Lizi Oldham
You love yourself and believe in you then there's nothing you should afraid of
Perpetual warm weather, long stretches of golden sand
Affordable Accommodation - Complete your trip to the
beaches and a string of amusement parks make
Gold Coast by staying in a luxury holiday home or
fantastic ingredients for a fun filled family holiday.
apartment. The wide variety of options Amazing Accom
Where can you find all this, and more? The Gold Coast,
offer means there will be something for everyone no
Australia.
Though it dazzles with it's impressive
matter what your budget. Holiday apartments are an
developments, it is the spectacular sweeping beachfront
affordable and easy option, offering unique views,
and electric energy that take centre stage on the Gold
premium locations and top notch
Coast.
Action-packed, the region offers and array of
excitement for all ages that range from days at the beach to adventures into the dense tropical hinterland. Below we break down what makes the Gold Coast the ultimate family holiday destination. Theme Parks - Perhaps one of the biggest draw cards for families to the Gold Coast is the seemingly never ending list of theme and amusement parks in the region. Children and adults alike are spoilt for choice with almost anything you can imagine on offer, from wild rides, to wild life. While the better known theme parks are a must, there are a number of smaller ones well worth a visit. Wet 'n' Wild, Dreamworld and Movie World all provide opportunity for exhilaration and adventure. For children who love animals, both Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary and Sea World offer the chance to get up close and personal with some Australia's native wildlife. To really up the anti, Dracula's Haunted House is a new, multimillion dollar interactive experience, you certainly won't forget.
Enjoy the wildlife whilst walking around the large eight acre property. Immaculately presented with breathtaking skyline views. Relax and enjoy the peace and quiet.
amenities. In the hinterland there are a number of large
Ocean from anywhere in this Luxurious Surfers Paradise
holiday homes, almost all with private swimming pool
apartment.
Tallai Luxury - This is an affordable luxury
and sleeping large numbers. These are a great option for
holiday home overlooking the Gold Coast and Hizne
families wanting to get away from it all.
Chevron
Dam. Enjoy the wildlife whilst walking around the large
Renaissance Apartment - This is a modern luxury
eight acre property. Immaculately presented with
apartment in every sense; contemporary furnishings,
breathtaking skyline views. Relax and enjoy the peace
polished wooden floors in the living area, a state-of-the-
and quiet. Hinterland Mansion - Get out of the rat race,
art entertainment system and panoramic views; all these
enjoy and relax in the unspoiled Gold Coast Hinterland.
are yours to enjoy.
H Residence Apartment -
For a holiday with a difference this property has it all.
Strategically located on level 29 of H Residence's
Sleeping 21, it features a huge outdoor pool, bar and spa,
Boulevard Tower, this apartment offers breathtaking
with Kangaroos, wallabies and kookaburas all at your
views of Surfers Paradise. Enjoy unobstructed
doorstep.
panoramic views of the Gold Coast and the Pacific
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5 Of The Most Bizarre Hotels In The World By Antoinette Ayana
Just when you thought you'd seen all that hotels can offer, you find out there's flying beds, LED-colored showers, and even rooms converted from train cars at some resorts! As strange as it may seem, the traditional spa amenities, room service, and fancy elevators are boring in comparison. Guests who visit these extraordinary inns have a surreal and exceptional experience every time.
Here are 5 of the most bizarre hotels in the world include: 1. Propeller Island City Lodge Imagine living in a giant art installation with flying beds, furry walls, and an entire upside-down room. The guests at Propeller Island City Lodge, in Berlin, Germany, have an odd, yet spectacular experience. Here, every room is designed differently, and the furnishing and other objects can't be found anywhere else on the planet. Many consider it to be an art museum that gives guests an opportunity to alter their perspective of reality.
2. The Five Hotel Dripping in romance, The Five Hotel is in the City of Love - Paris. Intimacy meets you everywhere you turn in this red, black, and white themed hotel. All 24 of the stylish contemporary rooms are designed to stimulate all five senses. You are guaranteed to feel rest, relaxation and romance. There are star-lit ceilings, LED-colored showers, and your choice of oil scents in every room. The ambiance of this hotel is truly unique.
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3. Seaventures Dive Resort Do you love diving? Ever wondered what it's like to live on a rig? Seaventures Dive Resort in Malaysia is the only dive rig in the world. When you take a dive here, beautiful corals, white tip grey reef sharks, hawksbill turtles, jack fish, shoals of barracuda, and more will surround you. Although this resort maintains the feel of a working rig, the rooms are extremely comfortable and the food is amazing. What's also cool about this place is that there's a house reef directly below the rig.
4. Train Station Inn The century old Nova Scotia Train Station was converted into a unique bed and breakfast. Train Station Inn has deluxe guest accommodations that have been renovated to reflect the age of the railway car. These transformed cabooses are equipped like most hotels,
Available now mindfulness from your phone, iPad, smartphone
with queen-sized beds, fireplaces, Wi-Fi, and more. Besides the incredible rooms, you'll find a railway museum, café, and gift shop.
5. Treebones Resort For a one-of-a-kind camping experience, Treebones Resort is the perfect place to visit. Located on the cliff of Big Sur, California, guests live in yurts, experiencing the nature of a tent with the comfort of a cabin. When you walk out to your private patio, you're automatically standing in the middle of the woods. And from your bed under the sky dome ceilings, you can gaze into the stars at night.
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Snooze Your Way to Fitness By Pheobe Doyle Failing to get sufficient sleep seems to be the common-cold of current times; work stresses, worries about our finances – all play a part. “Now approximately 10-15% of us, suffer with our sleep”, says Matt Broadway-Horner a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist from CBT In The City (www.cbtinthecity.com) , and what’s more this problem is more common in women than men. Matt says; “half of these sufferers report symptoms I’d consider severe”. Well-being coach Dan Roberts (www.danroberts.com) says; “Insomnia is increasingly common in our over-stimulated, always-on, stressed-out modern world. But a lack of sleep can profoundly affect your mind function, decision-making and memory – all of which are crucial in fitness performance. A sleep deficit also has a powerful effect on your mood, so can be a key factor in stress, anxiety, depression or just feeling flat and uninspired.” These negative emotions will interfere with the commitment and energy that are required for workingout How much sleep? The right amount of sleep varies from person to person, but the average is about seven hours. Dan says that consistency is key too; “there’s no point getting five hours a night on weekdays and catching up with a 10-hour sleepathon at weekends. Your body needs downtime to repair damage caused during the day, while your mind needs night-time inactivity to process the day’s events (which is why we dream)”
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Exercise can help you sleep? Dan explains how powerful exercise can be when it comes to easing you into slumber; “taking regular cardio exercise like running, spin classes, cycling or tennis for instance can help you to get a better night’s sleep. So too can calming, meditative exercise like yoga or tai chi, “With Cardio-Vascular exercise you can actually burn off stress and anxiety. CV makes you physically tired, in a good and healthy way. More calming exercise, like Yoga, deactivates your stress response and activates your relaxation response.” If you are struggling with getting to sleep though it’s advisable to not do your workout too close to bedtime as this may make you too warm and too energised to sleep
Sleep your way to better performance-So exercise can help you sleep – but sleep can help your exercise? Personal Trainer, Gavin Walsh. www.thebootcamp.co.uk believes that to reach your goals for physical fitness you need to be mentally fit too and that sleep is key, he explains; “Sleep is an often over-looked fitness tool. However, it is highly important, and should not be ignored if you don’t want performance to suffer. You’re more likely to achieve a Personal Best if you’ve had 7 hours + sleep”. If we don’t sleep enough we just won’t be at our peak in terms of health and fitness levels. In fact sleep deprivation studies on mice have demonstrated that if you’re kept awake long enough, in time your immune system and overall well-being simply breaks down. If we don’t sleep enough we just won’t be at our peak in terms of health and fitness levels. In fact sleep deprivation studies on mice have demonstrated that if you’re kept awake long enough, in time your immune system and overall wellbeing simply breaks down
If we don’t sleep enough we just won’t be at our peak in terms of health and fitness levels. In fact sleep deprivation studies on mice have demonstrated that if you’re kept awake long enough, in time your immune system and overall well- being simply breaks down. “Lots of studies show lack of sleep can lead to impaired reaction times and decreased endurance”, says Fitness expert Nick Critchley. He believes that performance suffers when sleep is lost; “sleep-time is when we replenish our neuro- transmitters as well as being a time for repair and regeneration of tissues used during intense exercise”. Sleep for focus-Gavin says research demonstrates that it can take up to 7-8 hours of sleep for our bodies to process the toxins we accumulate on a daily basis. “These toxins can help reduce focus as they interfere with our mind-set. The toxins include processed foods, alcohol, air pollution and even poor quality water. The accumulation of these toxins and sleep deficit can throw our hormones to play havoc. For example, cortisol, a stress hormone increases with a lack of sleep which can further take-away from our focus on our sport or fitness activity”
Sleep and Diet-Eating the wrong foods, putting on weight or just feeling more sluggish can have a hugely detrimental effect on our ability to exercise. Sleep, or lack thereof, can lead us into negative eating patterns, Dan explains; “If you struggle with food cravings or binge eating, one of the key triggers is being over-tired. When we are exhausted our
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Sleep Top tips By Pheobe Doyle
our strength is depleted and our willpower is low, so it’s much easier to succumb to cravings – especially for the kinds of sweet, sugary foods we crave during periods of low energy. You may also crave carbohydrates like crisps, pasta or rice or caffeinated drinks because your brain thinks you need quick, easily digested sources of energy. Getting the right amount of sleep will help keep these cravings at bay”
Sleep and Injury Risk-Gavin tell us that not getting enough sleep can increase the risk of getting injured because you won’t be paying enough attention to form; your stride and posture may suffer and this in turn can lead to twists and strains. He says, “If you’ve had a poor night’s sleep, then there is less chance that you’ll be working to your full strength during training. This lack in power and focus will have a damaging effect on how you move and your
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posture. All of this is crucial when at the gym performing highly demanding technical lifts; your risk of injury will certainly be increased.” Gavin acknowledges that it’s not just down the gym that problems might arise; “when running or taking part in any sport, if you’re feeling tired you’re much more likely to end up with an injury, and this could see you out of action for months”
Well-being CBT therapist Matt Broadway-Horner gives some tips for the perfect night’s sleep.
1. Go to bed and sleep for the time good for you. Some need 4 hours sleep and others need 10 hours
2. If you lay awake for more than 15 minutes then go doing something boring, then when sleepy return to bed
3. Have an area dedicated to sleep, don't mix work areas with sleep areas
4. Reduce the caffeine intake
5. Have a structure which involves activities to exhaust you. If you have a job sitting around then tiredness is not going to be cultivated. Routine is key for developing a good sleep pattern.
6. Live to your ideas for living, are you the type of husband you
want to be? If not then make changes and this May bring peace of mind. Good mental health is essential for good sleep.
About the author, Pheobe Doyle is a writer and has a blog about self help, education and children
You’ll be less inclined to worry about it in the future if you’ve experienced and coped with it already.
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