Imagine - Issue 06

 

imagine Issue 6 • December 2014

Tricks of the Trade

La Mia kitchenette offers Christmas delights

12 Steps in Creating the Life You Love

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FEATURES 04.

12 Steps in Creating a Life You Love

" Business & Updates 13 CBT in the City and a brief look at why they are about

""

Food & Nutrition 07 La Mia kitchenette offers mini panettoni

" LIFESTYLE 9 How To Overcome Anxiety from Homework

"

Wellbeing 10 Steps: Relieving Stress in Failed Marriages 11 Rules of 6 Pack Dating 16

IMAGINE magazine is published by CBT in the City and is provided free due to the donations of others

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Tricks of the Trade"

FROM THE EDITOR

Welcome to the December edition of IMAGINE the easy coffee table read. These articles have been donated along with the photos and art work. If you want to donate then please send your donation to me at matt@imaginemagazines.com. This year has seen the launch of this magazine and it has been an interesting journey since it started its life as a newsletter for the CBT in the City clinics back in 2006. The function is very different now with it being light, bright and breezy read with a few top tips along the way.

The direction of it is one that has a team perspective rather than just me as it was back in 2006. I hope that this year has proven to be good for you as it has been for me and in this issue the topics are to deal with life in the next chapter of your life using what is within you to make the change. Being resilient is not an easy task but then fear is always present when we take the courageous step forward. Its important to not mull over the past but get up and rub the dust of your knees deciding to take the journey into something that cannot be planned or control as you have your path already mapped out, just trust who you are and it will work out better than you controlled for!

" Matt

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Editor In Chief " Matt Broadway-Horner, matt@imaginemagazines.com "

Associate Editor" Susie Smith, info@imaginemagazines.com

Contributing Writer" Marilyn Foreman

Contributing Writer" Elisabetta Ludica

Art Director" Pradeep De Silva pradeep@imaginemagazines.com"

Graphic Artist" IDJ Photograpy

Circulation Officer" Brian Morton brian@imaginemagazines.com"

Sales Officer" Joe O'Brien

 

12 Steps to Creating a Life You Love

by Marilyn Foreman

Watch for the subtle and not so subtle improvements that start to come your way.

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" Are you getting closer to where you want to be in your life? Do you have a clear vision, plan or a direction? Don't get frustrated, most people don't know they even have a choice let alone a have a clear vision and plan to create what you want. You are here reading this therefore you are way ahead of most people.

Working your way through these 12 steps will have a huge impact on what you start to create for yourself in your life. Watch for the subtle and not so subtle improvements that start to come your way.

 

If you dug a little deeper, asked more questions, you would find a world of wonder underneath

Here are some things you can do to

pictures you have gathered that

see what they have to oer. We

make it happen are:

1. Surround

remind you of it. 10. Make a plan of

meet them out in the world but only

yourself with positive empowering

what you can do to support this in

see the surface and only what they

information and people. 2. Let go of

taking shape.

11. Be open to

show us. If you dug a little deeper,

any beliefs that stop you from

continuously learning and improving

asked more questions, you would

doing, having and being anything

yourself in the areas you want. 12.

find a world of wonder underneath.

you want. 3. Don't' think of the how

Do something everyday that moves

People have such amazing stories

it will come about, focus on what

you closer to what you want.

and life experiences. They are

you want. 4. Write down everything

brilliant and the world is ready for

you want to create in your life and

Hold your vision in your heart, feel

those people, the world is ready for

link an emotion to it like excitement,

those great feelings everyday, do

your brilliance.

peace.

5. Be outrageous in your

something to move closer and be

and be brilliant.

expectations. 6. Imagine having the

open to what the Universe puts in

life you want as if it's already here.

your path. Sometimes we send out

7. Turn that list into a visual

messages to the Universe and

representation, gather pictures and

expect them to look a certain way

phrases that will remind you of what

and don't see them when they are

you're creating.

handed to us is a way we least

" " " " " "

8. Record the list

and the feelings that go with it into your recording device or smart phone. 9. Remind yourself everyday what you are creating either by rewriting your list, reading it, listening to it or looking at all the

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expect it.

Look for the solution and you will find it.

There are so many people

out in the world sitting on these amazing gifts and talents and don't

Let's go out there

 

Merry Christmas to everyone from all the team here at CBT in the City

6

imaginemagazines.com

Imagine•

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La mia kitchenette

PANETTONCINI - mini panettoni"

"

Here I share with you all, the recipe for what I would call, the most traditional Italian Christmas cake, in miniature version. " Originally from Milan in Northern Italy, it is now consumed all over the country and not only, also around the globe."

The recipe requires a long process of leavening, days in fact, giving the fluffy characteristic of this cake, however, rest assured as my recipe is a much simpler one! There are now a few variations of 'Panettone', with not only candied fruits, peel and raisins but chocolate or figs and walnuts. " All of them making this cake very enjoyable for the whole family. "

"

For my panettoncini I have used empty tins (sweetcorn or tomatoes) as well as mini pudding moulds of different sizes."

You can also use a muffin tray to make very small portions. Just line them with baking parchment."

"

For about 8-10 cakes:" Page 7 of 19 imaginemagazines.com

3 egg yolks 1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract 500g plain flour 2 x 7g sachets dried yeast 1/2 tsp salt 140g caster sugar 200ml warm milk 200g unsalted butter - softened 100g mixed dried fruits and peel 100g chocolate drops 2 tbsp flaked almond milk for brushing icing sugar to dust

" Preheat the oven to 170C. " 1. In a large bowl, put the flour, yeast, salt and sugar " 2. Beat the eggs and vanilla in a separate bowl and add them with the milk to the dry mixture " 3. Beat with a wooden spoon until all the ingredients are fully incorporated. The dough will be sticky. Cover with cling film and rest in a warm place until double in size (about one hour)

"

4. When the dough has risen, add the soft butter, mix well with your hands if you can, until it is fully incorporated. Divide the dough in two and add fruits/peel in one half and chocolate drops in the other half. This is a little messy!

"

5. Line the tins, allowing the paper to be above them and cut portions to fill 3/4 to the top of the tin. Allow to rise for 1 hour

" 6. Sprinkle some flaked almonds on top and brush with milk "

7. Bake for 30 minutes until golden. Check the cakes are thoroughly cooked by inserting a skewer. If it comes out dry, they are ready

" 8. Cool and sprinkle with icing sugar "

Tip: If the panettoncini are not ready but golden, place a sheet of baking paper over them and cake for 10 minutes longer.

"

Available now payment for therapy from your phone, iPad, smartphone www.cbtinthecity.com/shop/

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How to Overcome Anxiety From Homework

By Linda A Johnson

There are many reasons why teachers assign homework,

rather than face their fears. If you think your child may have

even at a young age. Homework reinforces everything the

an anxiety issue when it comes to homework, allow them to

child learned during class, which gives them more

talk to you about it. Make sure that they know everyone has

opportunities to remember new concepts. Homework also

issues and that when you talk about them, you learn how to

teaches a child to become more independent while they

work together to get that problem resolved.

learn. Doing exercises and activities at home allows the child to organize their thoughts and recognize where they

Create a dedicated workspace - Your child may feel

really may need assistance. But oftentimes, they learn how

overwhelmed when they try to make decisions regarding

to discover answers to problems and questions on their

their homework. Things like where to sit, how to gather

own. Working on homework regularly during the early years

supplies, and what time to start can aect their study time.

of schooling helps the child develop good study habits. The

No one comes pre-programmed with study skills. Having a

child will get used to the idea of spending some time in the

dedicated workspace helps your child learn how to start the

evening learning. When the child starts to get good grades,

process. Ensure that the space is comfortable, stocked with

they will know that their studying has been successful. They

supplies, and is quiet.

will know the importance of keeping a schedule and being organized, and that hard work pays o. Homework allows the child to practice things and commit facts to memory,

Be flexible - Remember that setting a homework schedule is important, but you need to be flexible. Sometimes, people

such as multiplication or spelling.

need to relax for awhile after a stressful day at work.

How to overcome anxiety-Many children can get through

honor that need. Forcing a child to focus when they need to

their homework assignments quickly, but others need more

unwind is counterproductive. Downtime shouldn't be an

help to complete the work. Others may develop some

avoidance strategy, but having a short period to grab a

symptoms of anxiety when it comes to doing their

snack and relax before starting can be beneficial. Try using

homework. They may be afraid that they won't understand

a kitchen timer to give your child some free time, making it

what has been assigned, or that they will have to spend too

clear that when the timer rings, it is time to study.

much time to complete it. They may not be able to organize their thoughts or time, which leads them to try and avoid the

Children are the same way. It is important to recognize and

Talk to the teacher - Teachers at your child's private school

assignment.

or public school can be a very valuable resource. They may

No matter why your child feels anxiety, there are a few steps

can help you find ways to keep your child up to date and

you can take to make the process easier.

keep you informed on what happens in the classroom. This

have some insight as to why your child is struggling. They

allows you to fully understand the teacher's expectations.

Talk to your children - Children don't always want to express that they have a problem. They may be embarrassed or think that their teachers or parents will be angry with them. This causes some children to shut down,

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"

"

Steps: Relieving Stress in Failed Marriages

By Dave Gosh

have positive feelings & you can definitely come out of the stress and create new hopes &

Marriage is a beautiful process that unites two people in

emotional support to fight the stress & depression. Take

love & makes their relationship permanent. Many

care to stay healthy - The stress triggered by breakup

relationships begin with a lot of excitement and look

might affect your diet routine & eating habits. Eat

forward to a wonderful future. A perfect marriage is a

healthy, follow your exercise routines & get good quality

mix of compromise and honesty & is a relationship that

sleep to energize yourself both physically & mentally.

requires due importance & commitment. And no

Think about the future - Putting across your feelings will

marriage is without a conflict. Though one puts so much

definitely help you in relieving stress, but it is important

efforts to sustain the relationship, there are times when

to realize that moving on is the ultimate goal. Think

they can do it no further and end up in a marriage

about your future, have positive feelings & you can

breakup. The very thought of breakup can affect ones

definitely come out of the stress and create new hopes &

mental & physical health. And with kids involved, the

dreams.

stress levels can go soaring high. A breakup is hurting

reassure them that their future will in no way be affected

because it is not only the loss of a relationship, but is an

because of the change. Spend extra time with them &

end to all future desires & dreams. It disturbs the entire

help them heal & relieve stress. Meet a counselor - You

routine & the future becomes uncertain. It affects the

might need professional help, when the stress levels are

relationship with other family members & also changes

unmanageable. Seek the help of an experienced

one's identity. The harmful dose of stress caused due to

counselor who will help you go through this phase of life

a divorce can lead to anger & anxiety. It is a great

with ease. Be optimistic by the fact that there is still a

challenge to deal with the stress associated with

future filled with new hopes & desires.

divorce. But stress can be dealt with & one has to believe that "they can" & "they will".

Here are few steps that help relieve stress in failed marriages. One step at a time - Prioritize your decisions.

There are some things that are to be done immediately after separation & there are many that can wait for a while. Just concentrate on the important things first.

Take a break - It is perfectly okay to take some time to accept reality & cope with the emotional changes. You might not be able to work at the normal pace. But it is perfectly understandable. Time is the best healer. Take time to re-energize. Share your feelings - At this stage, everybody needs emotional support. Trying to deal with it alone can increase your stress levels & in turn will affect your work. It is better to share your emotions with trusted family & close friends. They can provide you

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Reassure your kids - Talk to your kids &

"

Rules of 6-Pack Dating No one can keep in touch perfectly with all 6 guys.

Relationships!

By Larissa Moore

I am very goal-oriented, and I

the time, right? Here are

read my aďŹƒrmations every

some invaluable tips I

morning. So, it was pretty easy

came up with to ease

for me to round up my perfect

the stress of the 6-pack

"6-pack." (This "round-up" story

dating.

will be told in the future posts.)

hang up the phone in

My only married friend (Mind

the middle of the

you, none of my friends are

conversation. It will

married. In fact, they are mostly

make them think you

all SINGLE without steady

have

boyfriends/girlfriends.) strongly

connection at home.

recommended that I date 6

T h i s w a y, y o u c a n

people all at the same time

always blame it on the

before I walk down the aisle.

bad connection for not

Why six? Because even God

answering the phone.

rested on the 7th day, right? I,

Text a question that

on the other hand, don't

requires him to respond

recommend this 6-pack dating

and wait until he texts

to just anyone since it is

back. Then call the next

extremely time-consuming and

day and ask him if he

physically/mentally exhausting.

got your first text at all?

If you have a demanding full-

He will say he did, and

time job, then you should

even texted you back.

downsize to a 2 to 3-pack

Ah ha, he will get the

situation. It takes a lot of energy

idea that your phone

to be quick with remembering

Sometimes

a

bad

cell

sucks and doesn't

things and/or acting like you accidentally forgot things in

receive all the texts (or his texts here). No one can keep

a very cute manner. However, trust me, the experience

in touch perfectly with all 6 guys. This gives you a way

alone was worth the try even though the whole ordeal

out when necessary. However, don't abuse this privilege!

lasted no more than 2 months. You can't have dessert all

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•

" WTF? First off, men should always ask you out first. Hence they pay. Do not mother them.

If you do not possess an eidetic memory as I do, or if you have a full-time job or something that takes up your memory bank, then you won't be able to remember every conversation you have with the guys. Get a notebook/diary and keep it around at all times. Write down important facts like his astrological signs, siblings, vegetarianism, blah, blah. Read the notes before seeing each guy so that you're refreshed on "who" is going on. He will feel like you really care about him. You always want to be remembered as the sweet girl who made him feel extra special. Never ever pay! Those are 3 nasty letters, PAY! This is one mistake I see girls/women make over and over again. WTF? First off, men should always ask you out first. Hence they pay. Do not mother them. We need to be taken care of, and that's the natural order. Who are you to fight God? If the guy really likes you, he will pay and ask you out again. Here's a little caveat: Do charm his pants off whenever possible, both figuratively and literally.

As long as you're being safe, you can have as much fun as possible. Being considered a "slut" or promiscuous is so circa whatever's in the past. Passé! You don't keep that hideous sweater your grandma gave you when you're a kid. So why bother with the old ball and chain?

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New challenges for the new year?

Why not try looking CBT in the City for your options from 1 of the 3 businesses 1. Therapy Day services 2. Corporate Services and 3. Public Services

1.

For personal therapy looking at depression and anxiety our

2.

The Corporate services is to help

with

problems that

3.

Public services have many demands on them

to

therapists are

stop you being

produce cost

qualified from

effective in

e ff e c t i v e

high quality Universities to a masters

your work.

Like stress, time

options for the public sector

level and have upto 15 years

management etc which can hinder

workforce and here we do set up

experience in dealing with many

your performance and how you

wellbeing centres for staff. Also we

aspects of mental ill health. 97% of

p ro g re s s w i t h i n t h e l e v e l s o f

have a schools project delivering

clients are satisfied and 62% have

promotion. Through out experts they

packages for students delivered by

referred a friend or relative to be

can help you develop more resilience

the teachers in an empowering way

seen also. We believe this is a true

and self acceptance being the

helping both teacher and student

sense of quality and all the staff here

person you were born to be!

are so happy with their work that they are happy with the results provided

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"

The sense of all is ok and good with me now. I am a fallible human being

14 • Imagine•

cbtinthecity.com

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"

City living comes with its stresses, slow down and look around what do you notice? Be like a tourist and describe what you notice

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Buying a gift of therapy to help the friend in need. Go to www.cbtinthecity.com

Imagine• cbtinthecity.com• 15

"

Tricks of the trade

By Matt Broadway-Horner

" "

Negative assertion rule is a great one when dealing with criticism and so can be used to great effect. e.g brother states “your always late when I need you” and he says this as I walk in the door 45 minutes late. I could chose to respond in an unhelpful negative way and just dismiss him and tell him to shut up or I could use the helpful method by agreeing with him. And saying “ yes it is true that I am late today but I was not late before or any other time, I am here now lets talk…..With this Negative assertion rule you agree with the grain of truth to keep the channel of communication open but then swift to get to point and use the time to talk about the purpose of the meeting.

"

Broken record is simply saying the same thing over and over until the other person hears it.

This is useful when dealing with other aggressive people and they don’t listen.

"

Tip: F Fair to myself and others A No Apologies for being alive S Stick to values (not do anything I'll regret later) T Truthful without excuses or exaggeration

" " "

Use the ‘I’ when dealing with discussing how you feel about a difPicult situation. I might say “ I felt disappointed with the way the exam turned out” may open up the conversation to others.

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Instead of “You made me fail because of your snoring” which would not have a constructive conversation and just be counter-­‐productive. No one can really argue with how you feel when using the ‘I’ method but they can argue if you are accusing them and then the walls go up and nobody gets heard. Never use demands as this is a sure way of hitting the wall. “You must or You should “ is never a good idea when negotiating as this will lead to you losing every time as the other person will not listen. Delay the response is a good way to giving you time to respond. This is particularly useful if you feel pressured to give an answer but an instant way rather than a meaningful one. This will provide you with space to think about options and consider the best one. So the typical responses here are “Can I think on that…..” “I will get back to you” “When can I discuss it with you again”, “leave it with me and I will get back to you”

"

4 step Tip for dealing with anger Top tip Follow a Anger 4 step approach 1. walk away-decide to come back to situation in one hour and then make an excuse to walk away e.g. need to make a call or I am late for an appointment must dash!

2. Get calm- go for a slow walk or another activity which slows you down 3. Rethink- How do you want others to think about you? How do `I want to think of myself? Am I fostering/nurturing (looking after) the relationship with myself and the other person 4. Come back with a response- this can be a response to self ‘I am annoyed about……but now it’s ok and life goes on’ or a response to the other person to say “lets agree to disagree” or “ I am sorry”

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" "

"

The Anger 4 step approach is tapping into the idea of hindsight is golden and “I wished I had acted differently and if so then I would act like this…..”

Well the 4 step just helps to create a pause button while you collect your thoughts and decide a course of action. Pause and rewind can cause you to feel hot with anger and Pause and fast forward can help you see the potential consequences before they occur and help you to salvage the situation before it becomes a problem.

" "

ask yourself this question, Do I need to waste my energy on this? Is it really worthwhile in upsetting myself and others to get something that I need this desperately and demanding stance? If no then give it up and move on…..life is just too short for drama and tantrums

"

Being comfortable communicating

" "

Another motto is needed here, Practice makes permanent and so try using your new found skills over and over. Remember that task conPidence is developed when you practice.

"

Secondly you trouble shoot when you develop task conPidence along with an enjoyment as the conPidence grows.

Remember that your conPidence level will begin low but then it will grow. We all have to learn and start somewhere

"

We as human beings are social by nature and so you will Pind your style and way to communicate that will rePlect your strengths and personality traits.

" " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " "

your minds eye from another side of the room as this will create unnecessary anxiety.

"

Tip: G Gentle manner without attack or threat I Interest in the other person V Validate the other person without judging E Easy manner (with a little humour?)

"

"

" "

" "

Just say what comes to mind and leave it to others to pick it up and respond. Try not to imagine how it sounds or view yourself with

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Don’t fulPill fear’s need to rehearse over and over! Just say IT! And I am sure with your spontaneous stance the occasion should bring you some pleasure in the short and long term.

!

Make the journey’s end its a promise

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