imagine MARCH 2015 FREE
MINDFULNESS MINDFULNESS THE KEY TO STRESS FREE LIVING!
THE DAY I WENT CRAZY AND DROPPED MY HAT.
6 FACTS ABOUT THERAPY LOOKING AT THE EVIDENCE
COURAGEOUS STORY OF OVERCOMING OCD
LA MIA KITCHETTE TOP NOSH FROM THE ITALIAN LADY
HOW TO GET THE GIRL TO LIKE YOU! GUARANTEED TIPS TO WIN HER HEART!
TRIPS TO TEMPT YOU
PLAN YOUR 2015 HOLIDAYS
SRI LANKA'S TOP FIVE BEACHES AND SRI LANKA’S TRAVEL GUIDE
FEATURES 04
The Day I went Crazy and Dropped My Hat
LIFESTYLE 08
How to Get a Girl to Like you - Guaranteed Tips to Win Her Heart!
10 Sri Lanka's Top Five Beaches and Sri Lanka's Travel Guide
FOOD & DRINK 12
La Mia Kitchenette
WELLBEING 16 Mindfulness The Key To Stress Free Living 20
IMAGINE magazines is a CBT in the City company
Top 6 points of what Mindfulness provides
FROM THE EDITOR Welcome to March issue of IMAGINE. There are many exciting articles in this month including some top nosh from La Mia Kitchenette. The clinic now offers clients the ability to control how many sessions they want and when to have them by paying on the website. This facility is easy to use and all you need to do is pay for the number of sessions you wish to use. It accepts all major credit cards and once payment is received then all the rest I take care of and ensure an appointment sent with in 24 hours. Also the clinic specialists offer therapy via, telephone and video online to fit into your busy schedule and child care arrangements, so help can literally be at hand at any time and any where! Remember we are here to help with not just mental health issues but physical health as well, try out our well being clinics which specialise in helping people with Long Term Conditions like diabetes, asthma, heart problems, breathing problems, HIV are just some to name and others too. Through a recent study (Broadway-Horner et al 2013) carried out by Matt and his research team they have found that 2 out 3 people within a local services have a long term health
Editor In Chief Matt Broadway-Horner, matt@imaginemagazines.com
condition which have implication for mental health services today.
Associate Editor
Physical care needs to be addressed and not be separated into an-
Susie Smith, info@imaginemagazines.com
other service. Physical care teams need to also address that psychologically we need help and not just be treated medically. Our therapists can help with rehab from medical problems as well as the
Contributing Writer
main bread and butter stuff like anxiety and depression, hoarding
Brian Thomson
and obsessional problems. Call Matt or Susie on 02074671508. Or if you wish to then make a payment and then the staff will respond to you with the next steps to booking an appointment time http://www.cbtinthecity.com/shop/coaching-consultation.html
Contributing Writer Elisabetta Ludica
Art Director Pradeep De Silva pradeep@imaginemagazines.com
Graphic Artist Wayne Thomas
Circulation Officer Brian Morton brian@imaginemagazines.com
Sales Officer Rosangelie
http://www.imaginemagazines.com • 3
THE DAY I WENT CRAZY AND DROPPED MY HAT. I can see myself picking up my tea cup and hurling the tepid contents all over Mel's horrified mother. Sophie Smith
My name is Sophie. I'm in my mid-thirties, married with two children. I'm educated to post-graduate level and have worked for a number of large media organisations and government departments. All rather unremarkable, yet this is the type of situation I find myself in: I'm sitting on my friend Mel's sofa, having a chat and a cup of tea with her and her mum. Meanwhile our daughters are playing hospitals upstairs. The atmosphere is relaxed and cordial. After a while I need to get up and go to the loo, but as I stand up I can see myself picking up my tea cup and hurling the tepid contents all over Mel's horrified mother. And if that's not enough I kick her toddler son, who was sitting on the rug, across the floor. I don't know why I did it, I just lost control.
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The avoidance will give me shortterm relief, but in the long term, it will reinforce the notion that the situation is dangerous
A moment of madness. Just like the
and banish them from my mind, the
what was wrong with me, but I really
time when I pushed my young daugh-
more pervasive they will be. I know
thought that I had started to lose the
ter down the stairs and grabbed her
that avoiding a situation associated
plot and I could not see a way out
around the neck until she almost
with the thought, will not help me in
stopped breathing. Or the time I pub-
the long run. The avoidance will give
This is when I contacted a psychia-
licly accused my uncle of being a sex
me short-term relief, but in the long
trist who recommended Cognitive
pest when I knew he was no such
term, it will reinforce the notion that
Behavioural Therapy (CBT). Rather
thing. Or the time, I spat in my boss's
the situation is dangerous. So for
than seeking avoidance, my treat-
face. Totally vile and deplorable be-
instance, when my daughter was
ment involved facing the problem
haviour, but I couldn't help it. It was
born, I was terrified that I might harm
and feeling the anxiety that was as-
the absolutely last thing I wanted to
her. Knives in particular worried me
sociated with it. This exercise, or
do, but the thoughts crossed my
greatly. What if, in a moment of un-
'exposure' involved using knives to
mind so it must be mean I'll act on
controllable madness, I hurt her with
prepare food when I was alone with
them, right? Wrong
a knife? I'm embarrassed when I look
my daughter (I had to imagine that
back on it now, but it got to the point
courgette were baby arms!), watch-
Well, what I do know is that these
where I gathered up all the knives
ing slasher films, reading newspaper
thoughts are all about what I don't
from the kitchen and threw them
articles about people who had at-
want to do. They are irrational and
down the gutter outside our house. I
tacked others with knives, sleeping
distressing. I know that the more I try
was in turmoil. I didn't quite know
with a knife under the pillow, leaving
Photo by Wayne Thomas
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!
CBT is the best therapy for OCD sharp knives out on the counter all day, basically anything to induce that sense of anxiety that I was so determined to avoid. The point was that the anxiety-provoking situations became less painful and intense the more I was exposed to them. This was a practical way of helping me overcome the knife thoughts, as they no longer induced anxiety. This is just an example of the CBT exercises that I have done and still do. I'd recommend CBT to anyone with OCD. Don't let it take over your life Contact 02074671508 to speak with an OCD specialist
This was a practical way of helping me overcome the knife thoughts, as they no longer induced anxiety.
How to Get a Girl to Like you - Guaranteed Tips to Win Her Heart! by Michael Lee Are you stumped with how to get a
people. Faking your own personali-
you're fortunate enough to have
girl to like you? Fear not, because
ty drives people away. Honesty and
been raised in a female-dominated
there are ways to catch a woman's
integrity is a barometer of trustwor-
family, then you'd at least have a
heart. Around half of the world's
thiness. If a girl can't trust you to be
basic awareness of how to conduct
male population have a dilemma on
yourself, why would she entrust you
yourself around girls. But if you've
how to capture the heart of the girl
with her life?.
only ever been exposed to testos-
of their dreams the same as you. Just what is it that makes women weak in the knees anyway? Below is a list of tips on how to get a girl
Immerse yourself. If you've always felt awkward with
to like you:
the fairer sex, it's not the end of the
Be yourself.
with any intrepid endeavor, it takes
world. It may take practice; but as time to warm up to the changes.
As with getting anyone, male or
Start with the basics. Take note of
female, to like you, simply be your-
your own family. How do the male
self. Being fake would only repulse
and female members interact? If
terone your entire life, you'll have to work a little harder at it. Try to interact with women more and try to be familiar with their ways. It won't do you good to avoid them at all costs just because you are daunted by them. Girls aren't immune to insecurity, too. If you're afraid to approach a girl, remind yourself that girls wonder about how to get guys to like them as well.
A guy can be the most awe-inspiring Adonis, but it's a given the girls will flee and avoid him like a dreaded disease if he lives like a slob.
Be nice.
Clean up your act.
Being nice and pleasant are two
There are females may find rugged
to be chased after to be captured
different things. Sure, you might be
types rather appealing. That, how-
like prize game. The chances for
a pleasant fellow to be around with,
ever, is no excuse for you to avoid
her to like your company if you treat
but do you actually go out of your
hygienic rituals. A guy can be the
her with respect, listen to her in-
way to be a decent human being?
most awe-inspiring Adonis, but it's
tently, and be her support system
Help an old lady cross the street. Be
a given the girls will flee and avoid
when she's not in a good place. Let
a role model for kids to look up to.
him like a dreaded disease if he
her see your clean intentions and
Be kind to animals. Being consider-
lives like a slob.
you shouldn't let her feel like you're
Be a friend.
only after one thing (and you're
Yes, platonic relationships between
Just follow these simple steps on
or not you'd like to take it that far, bear in mind that girls weren't made
ate to others, no matter the age, gender, or species, is sure to make any girl fall for you.
Of course,
don't do it just to impress her. If all you're after are the brownie points, your efforts will only backfire, painfully.
people of the opposite sexes do exist. In some cases, pure friendship relationships can even lead to romantic relationships. But whether
probably aware what that is).
how to get a girl to like you and the girl of your dreams will be yours in no time.
Sri Lanka's Top Five Beaches and Sri Lanka's Travel Guide For a great beach holiday you can find better place than island of Sri Lanka, with its endless beaches washed by the Indian Ocean. Delight in Popular beaches are accessible from Colombo and the south coast has the finest beaches. Sri Lanka tour packages offer you a range of beach tours to suit your vacation plans.
Beaches near Colombo Your Sri Lanka travel guide will help you select from the top five beaches. Nearest is Mt. Lavinia beach with the
softest of golden sands and clear placid waters, is located along a windblown headland thrusting into the Indian Ocean and is only 12 kms south of Colombo. It is very popular and the weekend crowds throng the beach for swimming, surfing, playing beach volleyball or groove to the live bands and DJs belting out music. Negombo, with a Dutch past, just 37 kms north of Colombo is a charming fishing village known for its fresh gourmet seafood. Continue south and 56 kms is Beruwela beach and at 62 kms is the Bentota beach with swaying palms, white beaches and limpid blue waters; are ideal romantic getaways.
Further South Beaches Travel 85 kms from Colombo on the southwestern coast to the quiet town of Ambalangoda, with scenic beaches and a small rocky islet off it shores. You travel on south and at 98 kms; you will come to Hikkaduwa beach with coral reefs. It is the most beautiful beach with colorful corals and clear waters populated by beautiful fish and large turtles. A group of tiny islets with exquisite coral formations stand in the clear waters off the beach. The farthest beach, Galle is an ancient port city, with a Dutch Fort. The beaches are ideal for surfing, snorkeling, diving and deep sea fishing.
Sri Lanka tour packages often have at least one beach stay, the favorite is Mt. Lavinia. Other tours offer you Bentota or Beruwela or Negombo Longer tours will offer Negombo, Bentota or Beruwela, or to Galle plus Bentota or Beruwela. Or you can opt for an exclusive beach vacation. The farthest beach, Galle is an ancient port city, with a Dutch Fort. The farthest beach, Galle is an ancient port city, with a Dutch Fort. The beaches are ideal for surfing, snorkeling, diving and deep sea fishing. Sri Lanka tour packages offer you a range of beach tours to suit your vacation plans. Your Sri Lanka travel guide will help you select from the top five beaches.
La Mia Kitchenette MELANZANE ALLA PARMIGIANA
Made with fried aubergines, tomato sauce and mozzarella Also called ‘parmigiana di melanzane’, this dish originates from Sicily. Made with fried aubergines, tomato sauce and mozzarella, it’s then baked. I used white aubergines I picked up from my local veggie shop, however, the more commonly found purple version is what is normally used. For 4 people: 2 aubergines – thinly sliced across 500ml vegetable oil 2 tbsp olive oil 1/4 onion – chopped 1 tin chopped tomatoes salt 3 basil leaves 1 mozzarella – sliced Preheat the oven to 180C.
1. Place the aubergine slices in a colander, sprinkle with salt and leave for 30 minutes to allow them to sweat. Wash and squeeze the excess water. Dry with a paper towel 2. Heat the vegetable oil in a shallow pan and when very hot, fry the aubergines in small batches till nicely browned 3. Transfer on a plate covered with a paper towel and sprinkle with a little salt. Repeat 4. For the sauce, fry the onion in the oil till translucent and add the chopped tomatoes, season and let it cook for 15 minutes or till it’s dense and not watery. Add the basil leaves, stir and add more seasoning if needed. Set aside 5. Place a dollop of tomato sauce, a slice of aubergine, a spoonful of sauce again, mozzarella and repeat twice with a slice of mozzarella on top 6. Bake in the oven for 30 minutes till the mozzarella is nicely melted 7. Serve warm and garnish with a couple of basil leaves
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Tip: This recipe is for individual portions, however, if you’d like to make a large parmigiana, just slice lengthwise and layer the tray in a similar way as lasagne
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Photo by Wayne Thomas
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Photo by Wayne Thomas
Slow down in this stressed free world and try developing self compassion rather than self esteem? For info call Matt 02074671508
Mindfulness Book Sample taken from Managing Depression using CBT by Brian Thomson & Matt Broadway-Horner
▶Letting go of those demands ▶Mindful or Mindfull? ▶What is Mindfulness and how can I practice it?
This is a 3rd wave therapy which some say has proved to be very effective according to some research studies. The approach of Mindfulness is amongst many within the CBT tradition. It focuses on looking at the mind from a observer perspective. Like you would sit back in front of a cinema screen. Try to sit back and observe your thoughts and emotions. The practice of Mindfulness is one that has no immediate answers but does promise to deliver but the way it delivers may not be the way you planned it. The key words here are noticing and describing what you notice when you sit back and look at the cinema of your mind. Remember that when your in the cinema you sit back and observe different and a variety of scenes from a movie.
Transfer this over to sitting in a chair or lying down on a bed observing the different images, thoughts etc and how the mind deals with such events may prove to provide some answers.
Rise above depression with CBT
The answers gained may help to provide insight in how to move forward and so this is a private journey one which may prove fruitful but mindfulness based CBT holds no promises you just have to do it!
What is Mindfulness? Mindfulness based CBT has been through scientific trials to look at how helpful this approach is. The Mindfulness was taken from the Buddhist practice and then put under the microscope to see what it exactly does to the mind. Mindfulness has been practiced within Buddhism for over 2 thousand years as a process of enlightenment so that we can become like a god. Buddha moved away from the teachings of then religion of Hinduism as he sought to seek a different path.
Sample taken from Chapter 9
Why these gods? Is there a process of self enlightenment? And so these processes came to what we know now as Buddhism. If we look at the journey of self help/discovery then we could say that there is a shift from going to the medical and Psychological gods as a way of getting better and instead to becoming our own therapist.
where you fit in with others and the world. Avoidance is a big factor in Depression and if we avoid spending time to get to know self, others and where we fit in the world then chances are that you will not know how to deal with problems as and when they arise.
Mindfulness based CBT can provide a help that can lead to self enlightenment in looking at how the mind deals with difficult thoughts, emotions, sensations and images and through observing this may lead to a self discovery that may lead to overcoming a problem like Depression, Worry, Guilt, Anxiety, Hurt, Shame, Anger, Jealousy etc
Mindful or Mindfull? The practice of Mindfulness is like meditation which is a process of guided discovery. We may think that ‘I have no time to meditate!’ And that may be right but with Depression it is about developing a relationship with self, others and the words and acknowledging
We all can be found to allow our minds to get full and when the mind is full then life can become alittle overwhelming at times. But by being Mindful and slowing down to take time to take things, surroundings, allow, give permission to enjoy it may prove to aid a better way in dealing with all the demands placed on us. Try walking slowly the next time you rush back to the office! Take time in for yourself and look around. Some in the trade call this ‘The Tourist exercise’. Remember the last time you went on holiday and you took a thousand pictures of the mosaic floor tile! Well what happened then was a curiosity that we all engage in when struck by a thing of beauty or a thing that if different. Well lets try now to walk slowly and treat the
walk like it was the first ever walk and use your senses of sight, sound, touch, taste and hearing to engage in the event. Lets be a tourist in our work, play, family etc and see what happens to your mood. Now remember to rate your mood before and after an exercise as this will provide some evidence. So in the activity schedule we rate mood out of ten with zero being low in mood and ten being bright in mood.
Doing things Mindfully? Lets get back to basics! The best resource we have is our senses so lets use them. The senses can and will provide info for you to use. We have to take our mind off auto-pilot and be on manual in order to go through the process of mindfulness based CBT. Auto-pilot is when you take it for granted that we can and do lots of things but the trouble with this is that self appreciation quickly goes out the window. And the key with doing lots of things and being able to manage a full schedule is to take time in for yourself and spend some quality time. Would you expect your child or partner to know how you like your eggs cooked in the morning if you did not spend any time with them? Maybe once a year quality time would provide what level of knowledge? Exactly this then is the key that we all have to spend time to get to know the most important person in your life…… YOU! Remember the origins of Mindfulness was a process of enlightenment for Buddha therefore it has to be about the individual. Once we have established a relationship with self then we might be in a better place to look after everyone and everything else. Try now to brush your teeth mindfully and observe what your mind does through out the process of this activity. It can be any activity and the key here is to slow down and notice reactions, sensation, thoughts and images that are associated with doing a mindful activity. The most famous of the mindful activity is the raisin exercise
Practicing mindful meditations Exercise 1. Close your eyes and are we seated or lying down in a comfortable position? Lets begin with breathing in and out…..spend some time now to get into a natural rhythm and then use your attention to sense how your body is right now. The positioning of your hands, arms, torso, bottom, legs,and feet. Observe using your senses the sounds that you can hear in the room but with out judgement. And lets move our attention to sounds we can hear outside of the roomWhat do you notice and describe it? e.g. I can hear the clock ticking in the room, it sounds like a tick tock soundthis is observing and describing what I notice. The same again but with a judgement place on the experience: I can hear the clock ticking in the room, it sounds like a tick tock sound which is infuriating and I want to put the clock in another room Analysis It maybe that the judgements are there but what does the mind do with such judgements? Does it force it forward or block it out? It is when we look at the mind in this way that may provide some answers. The auto-pilot will jump straight thru to judgement and commit robbery, stealing our joy, sense of contentment. So try now to switch this off and try to develop a Teflon mind.
Exercise 2 This is a repeat of exercise 1 and then we pay attention to sounds outside of the room then lets move your attention to your thoughts. What do you notice? And describe what you notice. It maybe that the mind tries to block thoughts, images or the mind may let then rush in and out. The mind will do something with the thoughts and it is this that we need to discover. Lets move your attention to emotions or feelings and see what the mind reacts to or processes these. Do the feeling come as waves rushing in and out? Is it calm? Again observe what the mind does with that feeling. But remember that we do not have to react or act on the feeling or thought. We are observing and lets take time to remind ourselves that we don’t have to run out to try and get rid of the thought or feeling. Some feelings can be intense and may lead to self harming behaviour like cutting but slow down and remember that you are in the chair and give yourself permission to stay there.
Exercise 3. When distressed then running a bath can provide the ingredients for the 3rd exercise. Watch the water as the bath fills up and what is it that we notice? We may notice the steam, the small of the bubble bath, bubbles foaming, the warmth of the water and the warmth of the steam in the room.
Top 6 points that Mindfulness can provide
1.
Helps you be in the moment enjoying your time on Earth! And not a slave to you coulda shoulda wouldas!!
2.
Keep on eye on those demands and see that your rigid attitudes are pushing you goals further away
3.
Allowing and giving permission
4. 5.
6.
Letting go and letting be
Gives you the choice of responding rather than reacting
.
Never say never and learn to surprise yourself!
Spending time to slow down and describe what we notice may provide a pause button to take an alternative route rather than the route we always take. A bath may take 5 to 10 minutes to fill and then use the bath to unwind and relax. This exercise can be especially useful for people who self harm when Depressed and the 10 minutes may provide valuable time in getting through a temptation or urge to cut.
4.
Opposite action exercise
Close your eyes and find a comfortable place to sit or lay down and then focus your attention on your breathing. We will notice that your breathing in will cause your chest to rise and with each out breath you chest to fall. Now just in a few moments just to spend time with no particular focus but ‘just be’. It is at these moments that stressful moments or moments that we find difficult to manage creep in. What do you notice when these thoughts and images comes in? we find that we breath out in desperation and maybe self resignation. Well here try the opposite action and instead of breathing out –BREATH IN to the tension. Do this every time your have the urge to breath out.
5.
Body scan exercise
Lying or sitting on the floor then close your eyes and focus on your breathing and describe what you notice. Then move your attention to your left foot with focus on the big toe and then like a scanner use your mind to move slowly through the big toe and then the smaller toes and so on. How does your mind respond to the slow moving scan? Is it wanting to move faster? Is it wanting to dismiss the activity? Remember your are observing your mind so sit back and take notice. Then move the scan through to your ankle and slowly through to your knee. The whole scan takes about 40 minutes and you finish at the big toe of the right foot. So pass through the hip into the chest arm and neck and so on. Lets investigate how the mind approaches aches, pains, irritation and see what we can learn from the observation.
10 minutes may provide valuable time in getting through a temptation or urge to cut.
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