Imagine - Issue 10

imagine April 2015 FREE

MINDFULNESS MINDFULNESS THE KEY TO STRESS FREE LIVING!

What to Do If you Happen to Fall in Love With Two Men DO OPPOSITES at the Same Time

ATTRACT?

COMPATIBILITY AND YOUR MYERS BRIGGS PERSONALITY TYPE

6 FACTS ABOUT CBT THERAPY

TOP TIPS WHEN SEARCHING

FACTORS TO CON-H SIDER WHEN BUY-G FA ING CHARTER AB BOATS LOOKING AT WHAT YOU CAN BUY

HOW TO TURN FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE INTO A WEAPON AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

PEYRONIE’S? WHAT IS IT?

SAFTEY IS IMORTANT

La mia kitchette TOP NOSH FROM THE ITALIAN LADY

FEATURES 04

Do Opposites Attract?

Compatibility and your Myers Briggs Personality Type

LIFESTYLE 08

How To Turn Financial Independence Into A Weapon Against Domestic Violence

10 Factors to Consider When Buying Charter Boats

FOOD & DRINK 12

La Mia Kitchenette

WELLBEING 16 Pyronies’s - What is it?

IMAGINE magazines is a CBT in the City company

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Meditation exercises

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Top 6 tips to consider when looking for a CBT therapist

FROM THE EDITOR Welcome to April issue of IMAGINE. There are many exciting articles in this month including some top nosh from La Mia Kitchenette. The clinic now offers clients the ability to control how many sessions they want and when to have them by paying on the website. This facility is easy to use and all you need to do is pay for the number of sessions you wish to use.

It accepts all major credit cards and once payment is received then all the rest I take care of and ensure an appointment sent with in 24 hours. Also the clinic specialists offer therapy via, telephone and video online to fit into your busy schedule and child care arrangements, so help can literally be at hand at any time and any where! Remember we are here to help with not just mental health issues but physical health as well, try out our well being clinics which specialise in helping people with Long Term Conditions. For this issue there is focus on men’s health and the topic of Pyronie’s which is a disabling condition for men but instead of seeking help they suffer in silence because it afflicts the cock. Because of embarrassment they will not talk about their cock to the GP and therefore the condition does not receive the attention it deserves. Seek help today and don’t suffer in silence. Another problem that goes unnoticed is domestic violence again if this or Pyronie’s condition is relevant to you then and you need help then give us a call. Our therapists can help with rehab from medical problems as well as the main bread and butter stuff like anxiety and depression, hoarding and obsessional problems. Call Matt or Susie on 02074671508. Or if you wish to then make a payment and then the staff will respond to you with the next steps to booking an appointment time. If you visit our online shop then say hello to the shop assistant Pradeep who appears in the bottom right hand corner http://www.cbtinthecity.com/shop/coaching-consultation.html

Payments are much easier from you devices when paying for services at CBT in the City

Editor In Chief Matt Broadway-Horner, matt@imaginemagazines.com

Associate Editor Susie Smith, info@imaginemagazines.com

Contributing Writer Molly Owens

Contributing Writer Elisabetta Ludica

Art Director Pradeep De Silva pradeep@imaginemagazines.com

Graphic Artist Wayne Thomas

Circulation Officer Brian Morton brian@imaginemagazines.com

Sales Officer Rosangelie

CBT in the City via iPhone & iPad

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Photo by Wayne Thomas

Do Opposites Attract?

Compatibility and your Myers Briggs Personality Type while she leaves milk on the counter and clothes on the floor.

Molly Owens

It's the classic story of the Odd Couple: she's the life of the party, while he gives any excuse to leave early. He's orderly and fastidious, while she leaves milk on the counter and clothes on the floor. He's logical, she's emotional; he's from Mars, she's from Venus. Much is made of the idea that opposites attract, and we all know at least one of these "odd couples" that makes a relationship work despite major dierences. But is it true that opposites attract? And more importantly, what makes for the most successful relationship-a stimulating opposite or a comforting soulmate?

Introverts are more focused on their internal world, thoughts, ideas, and feelings, and get energy from spending time in solitary activity

Photo by Wayne Thomas

Many researchers have set out to answer this question. In order to classify their subjects' dierences, compatibility researchers often use Myers-Briggs personality typing. The Myers Briggs Type Indicator is the most common personality inventory in the world, and provides an easy-tounderstand basis for studies on compatibility. The Myers-Briggs theory asserts that our fundamental dierences in thinking, making decisions, and organizing our lives can be understood by measuring our preferences in four key areas: Extraversion/Introversion: This scale refers to where you focus attention and get your energy. Extraverts are focused on the external world

and other people, and are energized by external stimulation and interaction with others. Introverts are more focused on their internal world, thoughts, ideas, and feelings, and get energy from spending time in solitary activity or quiet reflection. Sensing/Intuition: This scale refers to how you prefer to take in information.

Sensors gather information in a very concrete, detail-oriented, and factual way. They tend to be practical and oriented to the present moment. Intuitives tend to be more abstract in their perceptions, and tend to think more about meaning, connections, and possibilities. Intuitives are often more imaginative than realistic.Thinking/Feeling: This scale

refers to how you prefer to make decisions. Thinkers prefer decisions that are based on facts or data, and like to reason things out logically. Feelers prefer decisions that are consistent with their values and help to build harmonious relationships. Judging/Perceiving: This scale refers to how you prefer to organize your life. Judgers tend to prefer structure, schedules, and plans.

They like clear expectations and feel accomplishment from completing tasks. Perceivers prefer an open-ended, spontaneous and flexible existence. They enjoy feeling that their options are open and that there are many possibilities available.

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Photo by Wayne Thomas

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When researchers have analyzed couples' satisfaction, the factors most associated with happy couples were those that we've heard all along: good communication, common values and interests, and the ability to work out disagreements calmly and openly. But when researchers Barbara Barron-Tieger and Paul Tieger studied the Myers-Briggs personality type of several hundred couples, they found that the more type preferences a couple had in common, the more satisfied they were with their communication. While opposites may attract, it seems to be easier to maintain a relationship with someone who is similar to yourself. However, this does not mean that you must find your exact type in order to build a good relationship. In fact, the most common pairing is between two people with just two type preferences in common (for instance, ISTP with ESTJ). Researchers have also found that some type preferences are more important than others when determining compatibility, and that some types are especially likely to clash.

In a 1981 study, researcher Ruth Sherman found that differences on the Extraversion/Introversion scale caused the most conflict in long-term relationships. In particular, combinations of Extraverted women with Introverted men caused frustration, perhaps because this dynamic goes against our traditional concept of the man being the more expressive and dominant partner. However, this effect was found in a study that is over 20 years old. As we become more progressive in our relationships and more open to equality, differences in this preference area may become less important. The Sensing/Intuition scale seems to play a key role in attraction. Studies by Isabel Briggs Myers and others have found that people tend to be drawn to partners who share their preference on this scale. When couples have a Sensing or Intuitive preference in common, they will tend to view the world in a fundamentally similar way. Couples with the same preference on this scale may find it easier to understand each other, and are more likely to feel they are speaking the same language. While similarity on the Sensing/Intuition scale may determine attraction, long-term compatibility appears to be much more complicated. The last three scales-S/N, T/F, and J/P-play a complex role in determining compatibility. These scales have a fundamental effect on the way we communicate and prioritize our lives, and so have the potential to cause misunderstandings, miscommunication, and opposing goals in relationships where preference differences exist.

When researchers Tieger and Barron-Tieger examined couples on the S/N, T/F, and J/P scales, they found that, in general, more similar couples experienced a higher rate of satisfaction with their partner. However, there were some combinations that worked well despite having fewer preferences in common, and some pairings of similar partners that weren't quite so successful. Some examples: Sensing Judgers (ESTJ, ESFJ, ISTJ, ISFJ) have a satisfaction rate of 79% when paired with other Sensing Judgers. These types tend to be traditionalists who value and honor their commitments. Intuitive Feelers (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ) have a satisfaction rate of 73% when paired with each other.

Intuitive Feelers tend to place a high value on relationships and are the most likely of all the types to devote themselves to healthy relationships and open communication.

How To Turn Financial Independence Into A Weapon Against Domestic Violence

Safety first one woman is murdered every 2 weeks by male partners and the police receive a call about DV every 52 minutes. The numbers are alarming and there are thousands of programs and organisations that work tirelessly to provide safety options for victims of domestic abuse.

There are self-defense classes, literacy programs, and employment training that can be quite helpful for a woman attempting to get away from a harmful relationship.

by Rayki Thomas

The reality is that nobody seems to ever come with a bright warning sign to alert other innocent people to the fact that they are unstable maniacs with a short fuse.

No one thinks they will become a victim of domestic violence. We all would like to believe everyone is as caring and patient as we are. We want to believe everyone is deserving of love and we are here to give it. At times, we run into that one person that reminds us that none of the previous statements are true.

Although there may not be a fool-proof method to avoid domestic violence, there are ways to arm yourself with weapons to swing the odds in your favour. The most important factor will always be safety. A safety plan is essential even if you just suspect your mate has the potential to be an abuser or has shown a tendency for violence. If you are unsure how to prepare a safety plan to stay safe, contact a local domestic violence organisation for assistance.

Before you find yourself in a life-threatening situation, it would be wise to understand the dire importance of obtaining financial independence Of course, in an emergency, dial 999.

Before you find yourself in a life-threatening situation, it would be wise to understand the dire importance of obtaining financial independence. Preparing yourself for financial independence is essential even if you plan to be a full-time mom or a housewife. When things are going well, women don't tend to think too much about independence because they are usually pretty busy taking care of everyone else.

Women should always pursue ongoing educational opportunities whenever possible to keep their skills sharp.

Staying current on latest job trends and keeping an up-

dated resume will also prepare you for an unexpected reemergence in the corporate world. If things do take a turn for the worse at home, many women stay because they can't aord to live on their own. They are unskilled and lack experience so their prospects are slim to none.

Instead of becoming a victim of circumstance, empower yourself with building your own financial wealth.

For those who have never worked outside of the home, it can be especially frightening. The good news is that there are various courses specifically designed for new workers entering the workplace for the first time. They

usually contain valuable information on proper interview techniques, appropriate wardrobe, resume help, and lots more. Services usually vary depending on the course or company but tend to be exactly what you need to start you o on the road to fi n a n c i a l i n d e p e n d e n c e .

These type of services are useful for anyone on a quest for employment but have proven to be life-changing for survivors of domestic abuse. If you have been struggling with issues raised in this article then contact a therapist at CBT in the City on 02074671508

Factors to Consider When Buying Charter Boats

by Sila Rodney

There are thousands of boats around the globe available for charter. If you narrow your choices to bareboat or crewed charter, select the type of boat, size of boat and other extra features, choosing the destination and time of year, finding the right charter boat becomes easy.

Large charter companies often have a fleet of charter boats from a few leading models and builders. They opt for the select models because their quality has been tested to withstand the test of time. The factors to consider when choosing a charter boat include: 路 The power Many people avoid extensive use of the boats and high engine hours. However, boats that

just sit around and do nothing have as many problems. Therefore, when shopping for a charter boat, find out how often maintenance is performed. Some of the charter companies insist on the inspection of the prop, the system and the hull for every charter that returns, while other companies keep a maintenance log for every system on the boat. Nevertheless, it is important to get as much information as you can possibly get about the maintenance of the boat.

Furthermore, find out about any serious damage to the structure and systems. A charter company should be able to disclose information where a particular boat has run up a reef and is now patched.

Phase-out The phase-out is a very critical aspect in the life of any charter boat. This has to do with the systematic process of maintaining all the equipment and systems. It is obvious that a boat can never be made new. However, the necessary repairs and replacement can be performed on the boat during the phase-out in order to bring it back to a fair wear & tear condition. Any reputable company will be able to provide you with a copy of the phase-out maintenance. This will help you see all the areas that have been inspected and repaired. 路 Contact the professionals You can buy a charter boat from an individual or a charter company. If you contact an expe-

rienced yacht agent, he will be able to connect you to the right people. They will oversee the process of ensuring you get what you are looking for. He will provide references you can contact in order to find out their experience in the hands of the seller. However, regardless of whom you are buying from, it is advisable to hire the services of an independent surveyor who will be able to undertake a thorough inspection. He should be ready to check the engine, climb up the mast and be present for haul out.

We provide the best info about http://www.phuketcharterboat.com/. For further details please visit the provided links.

La Mia Kitchenette LASAGNE CON RAGU' DI VERDURE di Gennaro Contaldo

lasagne with slow-cooked vegetables ragu' Having had the pleasure of receiving one of the first copies of the latest book of my favourite celebrity chef and good friend Gennaro Contaldo, I couldn't wait to honour 'Gennaro Slow Cook Italian'.

Each one of Gennaro's books feature authentic Italian regional recipes and any Italian out there like me, would reminesce about their childhood and life in their home country at reading and cooking his recipes. There are no frills in Gennaro's dishes, simply real authentic flavoursome food.

His latest book is no different, if anything, slow cooking is probably the most wholesome of our cuisine. This recipe I am about to share with you is featured in the 'Pasta' section of 'Gennaro Slow Cook Italian'.

It was easy to prepare and we all loved the lasagne with vegetable ragu'. If you are worried about your children not eating enough vegetables, this is a brilliant way to disguise them! I highly recommend this book if you want to learn and cook authentic Italian food!

For 4 people: 3 tbsp Extra Virgin olive oil 1 shallot, finely sliced 1 leek, finely sliced 1 celery stalk, finely sliced 1 carrot, finely sliced 1 turnip, finely sliced 150g pumpkin, cubed 85g mushrooms, sliced 100g curly endive, roughly chopped 1 garlic clove, crushed 1 sprig of marjoram 1 sprig of thyme salt and freshly ground pepper 3 tbsp canned chopped tomatoes 250ml vegetable stock butter, to grease and finish 8-10 fresh lasagne sheets 100g Parmesan, grated For the white sauce: 40g butter 40g plain flour (all-purpose) 500ml full fat milk a pinch of freshly grated nutmeg 1. Heat the oil in a large saucepan, add the shallot and leek and sweat on a medium heat for 3 minutes 2. Add the celery, carrot, turnip, pumpkin, mushrooms, endive, garlic, herbs and black pepper 3. Stir in the tomatoes and stock, reduce the heat to minimum, then cover with a lid

and cook for 1 1/2 hours, stirring from time to time 4. Preheat the oven to 200C/ 400F/Gas mark 6 5. To make the sauce, melt the butter in a saucepan, remove from the heat and whisk in the flour very quickly to avoid lumps, then gradually add the milk, whisking well 6. Return to the heat and cook on a medium heat for 3-4 minutes, whisking all the time until the sauce begins to thicken. remove from the heat and stir in some salt, pepper and nutmeg 7. Grease an ovenproof dish, about 20 x 25cm / 8-9 inches, with butter and spread a little of the white sauce on the bottom 8. Arrange a layer of lasagne sheets on top, followed by some vegetable ragu', a little white sauce, and a sprinkling of Parmesan. Continue making layers like this until you have used all the ingredients, ending with the white sauce and grated Parmesan.

9. Top with small knobs of butter. Cover with foil and bake in the oven for 20 minutes 10. Remove the foil and cook for another 10 minutes to brown the top. Remove from the oven and leave to rest for 5 minutes before serving.

Tip: This recipe is for individual portions, however, if you’d like to make a large parmigiana, just slice lengthwise and layer the tray in a similar way

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Slow down in this stressed free world and try developing self compassion rather than self esteem? For info call Matt 02074671508

Peyronie’s?

What is it Health for men by Matt Broadway-Horner

▶Find out the info ▶Is there a cure? ▶What are my options?

A specific type of sexual dysfunction suffered by men is Peyronie’s condition is caused by scar tissue, called plaque, which forms along the length of the penis in the corpora cavernosa.

This plaque is not visible, and depending on the severity of the condition, the plaque can cause the penis to bend, making sexual intercourse difficult and occasionally painful

What Causes Peyronie’s Condition?

The cause of Peyronie’s condition is unclear.

Many researchers believe the plaque of Peyronie’s condition can develop following trauma (hitting or bending) that causes localised bleeding inside the penis. The injury or trauma may not be noticeable. Other cases, which develop over time, may be genetically linked or inherited (passed on from parents to children through genes). The disorder could be caused by a combination of both factors.

Rise above depression with CBT

In addition, a number of medications list Peyronie’s condition as a possible side effect.

However, the chance of developing Peyronie’s condition from any of these drugs is very low and there is no absolute evidence that Peyronie’s is related to taking these drugs

Who Gets Peyronie’s condition?

One study found that Peyronie’s occurs in 1% of men, according to the National Institutes of Health. Although the disease occurs mostly in middle-aged men, younger and older men can get it. In some cases, men who are related tend to develop Peyronie’s, suggesting the disease may be genetically linked

What are the Symptoms of Peyronie’s?

Symptoms may develop slowly or appear overnight. When the penis is soft, no problem can be seen. But, in severe cases, the hardened plaque (which is benign, or noncancerous) reduces flexibility, causing pain and forcing the penis to bend or arc during erection.

In most cases, the pain decreases over time, but the bend in the penis can remain a problem. Occasionally, milder forms of the disease will resolve spontaneously without causing significant pain or permanent bending. Overall, Peyronie’s will resolve on its own between 5%-19% of the time Some men with Peyronie’s develop scar tissue elsewhere in the body, such as on the hand or foot

Symptoms may develop slowly or appear overnight.

When the penis is soft, no problem can be seen. But, in severe cases, the hardened plaque (which is benign, or noncancerous) reduces flexibility How Is Peyronie’s Diagnosed?

First, your doctor will talk to you and ask about any circumstances, such as injury, that may have occurred prior to symptoms appearing. Your doctor can feel the hardened tissue caused by the disease during an exam, although sometimes it is necessary to do the exam with the penis erect. In some cases where the doctor’s exam does not confirm Peyronie’s, or in cases where the condition develops rapidly, your doctor may perform a biopsy. A biopsy involves removing tissue from the affected area to be examined in a lab

Can Peyronie’s be treated?

Yes. But, since some people’s condition improves without treatment, doctors often suggest waiting one to two years or longer before attempting to correct it. Mild cases of the condition rarely require treatment. Also, the pain associated with Peyronie’s occurs only with an erection and is usually mild

What Treatments Are Available?

Possible treatments for Peyronie’s include surgery and medical treatment.

1. Surgery 2. Psychological treatment for Pain Management & self esteem In the majority of men with penile pain due to Peyronie’s disease, the discomfort usually will resolve on its own as the penile injury heals and matures over time What

Is the Outlook for Peyronie’s Disease?

Peyronie’s disease may be a self-limiting condition. Pain usually disappears with time, plaque formation stops, and the erection deformity stabilises. Most men with Peyronie’s disease are able to have sexual intercourse and mutual enjoyment with their partner If intercourse is satisfactory then no treatment may be needed. If you suffer from this condition and are feeling hopeless then don’t fear and contact CBT in the City who offer counselling for this condition 02074671508

MEDITATIONS Beyond the pace Exercise 1.

Close your eyes and stealing our joy, sense of content-

are we seated or lying down in a com- ment. So try now to switch this off fortable position? Lets begin with and try to develop a Teflon mind. breathing in and out…..spend some This is a repeat of extime now to get into a natural rhythm Exercise 2. and then use your attention to sense ercise 1 and then we pay attention to how your body is right now. The posi- sounds outside of the room then lets tioning of your hands, arms, torso, move your attention to your thoughts. bottom, legs,and feet. Observe using What do you notice? And describe your senses the sounds that you can what you notice. It maybe that the hear in the room but with out judge- mind tries to block thoughts, images ment. And lets move our attention to or the mind may let then rush in and sounds we can hear outside of the out. The mind will do something with room-What do you notice and de- the thoughts and it is this that we e.g. I can hear the clock need to discover. Lets move your ticking in the room, it sounds like a attention to emotions or feelings and tick tock sound- this is observing and see what the mind reacts to or pro-

It maybe that the mind tries to block thoughts, images or the mind may let then rush in and out.

The mind will do something with the thoughts and it is this that we need to discover.

scribe it?

The same cesses these. Do the feeling come as again but with a judgement place on waves rushing in and out? Is it calm? the experience:. I can hear the clock Again observe what the mind does describing what I notice.

ticking in the room, it sounds like a with that feeling. But remember that tick tock sound which is infuriating we do not have to react or act on the and I want to put the clock in another feeling or thought. We are observing room.

Analysis: It maybe that the and lets take time to remind ourselves judgements are there but what does that we don’t have to run out to try the mind do with such judgements? and get rid of the thought or feeling.

Does it force it forward or block it Some feelings can be intense and out? It is when we look at the mind in may lead to self harming behaviour this way that may provide some an- like cutting but slow down and reswers. The auto-pilot will jump member that you are in the chair and straight thru to judgement and com- give yourself permission to stay there. mit robbery,

Mindfulness courses: Harley St: April 27th St Albans: May 8th Online: Anytime Anywhere

CBT THERAPY Style Top 6 points to check out when looking for your therapist

1.

Ask how long they have worked in their field of depression, OCD etc.

Most qualified University educated therapists will discuss this at length

4.

Pricing is not everything. Just because they are cheap does not mean they are good or that they are trained as CBT therapists Normally expensive therapists are ones with experience, training or have authored books

5.

2.

3.

Ask about qualifications in CBT and if they have a degree or masters in CBT

Do you get on with them. If they are prickly or not warm to your questions then move on to the next one

Ask if they receive regular CBT supervision and who is that with. You can do a search and

google them. .

6.

A recommendation by a friend or relative is golden.

Chances are they have seen the same therapist and had a good result as well as a good experience

Mindfulness course: Harley St: April 27th St Albans: May 8th Online: Anytime Anywhere

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