Imagine - Issue 12

imagine June 2015 FREE

SOCIAL MEDIA: HAS SOCIAL MEDIA DEVALUED CELEBRITY?!

What to Do If you Happen to Fall in Love With Two Men at the Same Time

DATING BUZZ 4 WAYS TO PLAN A SURPRISE FOR BOYFRIEND OR HUSBAND

TOP 6 TIPS TO CONSIDER WHEN DEALING WITH CRITICISM

TEA IN ENGLAND

LOOKING AT WHAT YOU CAN BUY

SNOOZING YOUR WAY TO FITNESS? OVERCOMING A SLEEP PROBLEM FOR BETTER HEALTH

La mia kitchenette TOP NOSH FROM THE ITALIAN LADY

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FEATURES 04

Social Media: Has Social Media Devalued Celebrity?

LIFESTYLE 08

Dating Buzz - 4 Ways to Plan a Surprise for Boyfriend or Husband

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Tea In England

FOOD & DRINK 12

La Mia Kitchenette

WELLBEING

IMAGINE magazines is a CBT in

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Snoozing Your Way to fitness? overcoming a sleep problem

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Meditation exercises

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Top 6 tips to consider when dealing with criticism

FROM THE EDITOR Welcome to June issue of IMAGINE. There are many exciting articles in this month including some top nosh from La Mia Kitchenette. The clinic now offers clients many treatment options like group therapy, course like De-Press focusing on depression as well as of course mindfulness and ACT courses looking at the triad of anxiety, stress and depression. Also the clinic specialists offer therapy via, telephone and video online to fit into your busy schedule and child care arrangements, so help can literally be at hand at any time and any where! Remember we are here to help with not just mental health issues but physical health as well, try out our well being clinics which specialise in helping people with Long Term Conditions. For this issue there is focus on sleep problems which is a disabling condition for all but instead of seeking help they suffer in silence because it may appear trivial. Seek help today and don’t suffer in silence. I hope you are ready for the summer and have lots planned but if not and this year is not going the way you planned and need some help then why not call and speak to a specialist today and get more info about our services. There is no obligation its just a chat Our therapists can help with rehab from medical problems as well as the main bread and butter stuff like anxiety and depression, hoarding and obsessional problems. Call Matt or Susie on 02074671508. Or if you wish to then make a payment and then the staff will respond to you with the next steps to booking an appointment time. If you visit our online shop then say hello to the shop assistant Pradeep who appears in the bottom right hand corner http://www.cbtinthecity.com/shop/coaching-consultation.html

Editor In Chief Matt Broadway-Horner, matt@imaginemagazines.com

Associate Editor Susie Smith, info@imaginemagazines.com

Contributing Writer Molly Owens

Contributing Writer Elisabetta Ludica

Art Director Pradeep De Silva pradeep@imaginemagazines.com

Payments are much easier from you devices when paying for services at CBT in the City

Graphic Artist Jaie Miller

Circulation Officer Brian Morton brian@imaginemagazines.com

Sales Officer Rosangelie

CBT in the City via iPhone & iPad

http://www.imaginemagazines.com • 3

Social Media: Has Social Media Devalued Celebrity? if someone creates something that ends up going ‘viral', it can end up being seen by millions of people in a matter minutes.

Molly Owens

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While celebrities have always existed in some shape or form, it has never been as easy as it is today for someone to be famous. There is no need for someone to have achieved something significant; the only thing they need is an online presence.

This is something that one can develop in a matter of weeks or even hours; it is no longer necessary for one to wait for a prolonged period of time. For example, if someone creates something that ends up going ‘viral', it can end up being seen by millions of people in a matter minutes.

A Star Is Born When this happens, one can go from being a relative unknown to someone who is known by people from all over the world. And while this may relate to a video that they have made that demonstrates a certain talent or skill, this might not be the case.

It could just be a video that makes other people laugh, or they might be sharing their life with others. This is not to say that comedy has no value or someone's life has no importance; what it comes down to is how times have changed.

Values Even though one generation values something, it doesn't mean next generation will have the same outlook. This is why it is to be expected that there will be a difference when it comes to who each generation elevates.

Although there will still be some people who have values that match up with the values people had in the past, it is not always possible for someone to realise this.

And this is because

their attention might be consumed by what is taking place in the mainstream.

far more control than ever before when it comes to whether they will be famous or not.

The Mainstream

It has been said that everyone wants to be famous, and in today's world, this is something that one can make a reality. And while they will need other people to elevate them into a certain position, they won't need other people to give them any kind of financial backing in order to ‘make it big'.

When it comes down to what people believe about the world, or about the people who inhabit the planet, there is strong chance that they developed these views through being exposed to the mainstream media. One reason for this is that it takes effort to think, and how one doesn't need to think if they let others do it for them.

So on one side, this will allow one to save energy, but on the other, it will set them up to be manipulated. This is not the say that everything the media presents is false, but at the same time, it would be dangerous to believe everything.

Control In the past, the mainstream media and the other establishments would have had most of the power when it came to who would be famous. But the internet has changed this, and this have given people

Suppression If one does have the need to be famous, they will no longer have to suppress this need.

They can embrace how they feel, and do what they need to do in order to fulfil this need.

The first thing they can do is to look at what other people are doing, and then come up with the same thing or something similar. From here, they can set up an account on a social media site.

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Saturated Once they begin to look into what other people are doing, they might start to get an idea of what they need to do to be famous. However, this might also make them think about how saturated the internet has become with people who are ‘famous'.

During this time, they may begin to see how anyone can be famous, and that it doesn't matter what they look like, how talented they are, or whether they are adding value to the world. So even though they may feel inspired by what they see, it might also cause them to feel overwhelmed.

Meaningless If everyone drove around in an expensive car, the car would no longer stand out, and this is because it wouldn't be exclusive. These cars wouldn't have the same value, and they would just be seen as another car on the road.

When a small amount of people are famous, it will be normal for them to stand out, and this is because there are far more people who are not famous. Yet, if fame is no longer limited to a select few, it will start to lose its meaning.

Valueless And just as the quality of something can go down when it is massed produced, the same can apply when there is an increase in the amount of people who are famous. If one was famous in the past, there was the chance that they had achieved something significant, but there is less chance of this being the case today.

In many ways, being famous can be seen as something that one experiences because they are alive at this time. Through living in this age, one might have come to believe that they deserve to be famous.

Conclusion There is then no need for them to make a contribution to the world, and this is because they are entitled to be famous. This shows how people's values have changed, and while it would be easy to blame social media, there are other factors involved.

What this could also show is that there is lack of guidance in today's world, and this is why fame is seen as the ‘answer' to one's problems. Even though we are more ‘connected' than we have ever been, it could also be said that we are more disconnected than we have ever been.

Dating Buzz - 4 Ways to Plan a Surprise for Boyfriend or Husband

Romance Are you looking for a way to plan a surprise for boyfriend or husband? You have picked up a great Dating Buzz.

Wondering what men like or how a man would love to be surprised? Women love to plan a surprise for boyfriend or husband but are often out of ideas of how they could do it. Especially when your they are diďŹƒcult to get surprised easily. Then check out this 4 ways for women to plan a surprise for boyfriend or husband. I'm sure this tips will make your them guess-

by Macdlena Jonathan

ing but without risking to uncover your actual surprise.

Hidden Tickets to a Concert or Favorite Sports Game You could get them tickets to a sports game or a concert if they are hardcore fan of a band or a sports team and usually that is what men like.

The refrigerator, his wallet or in a pocket of his favorite shirt would be a great place to hide the tickets where your boyfriend or your husband will find them on their own. You can't imagine how surprised they will be when

they find the ticket and even more when they see what tickets are they for. A great surprise for boyfriend or husband. Bet you haven't thought about this Dating Buzz.

Night on the Town surprise!

Plan a night out in town if you consider to have a special and romantic surprise with your partner. Before the actual day of the surprise, plan out all the stops you want to visit in town. But to keep this to a great surprise,

This can easily be the best surprise for boyfriend or husband.

you will need to insist him that you should drive for the night to ensure he has no idea as to where the next destination will be. Take him to some of his favorite places. It will be great to be driven around especially when driven to a new and interesting places. What men like is not to be the driver all the time too.

Have a Surprise Party It is not as difficult as you think to have a surprise party. What you need to do to keep the surprise going is to just tell your boyfriend or husband that you are planning a special night for his birthday just the two of you.

This will keep him in oblivion

and eventually catch him off guard at the party by not expecting a crowd of family and friends. This is the most common Dating Buzz.

Scavenger Hunt This can easily be the best surprise for boyfriend or husband. Depending on your preferences and your motivation you can vary the size of the hunt. A simple scavenger hunt would be by just putting clues around your house.

However it could be much more interesting to make a larger scavenger hunt by placing all the clues in a wellhidden public areas. What men like would be to include his favorite places into the scavenger hunt.

There is another method for a scavenger hunt. You can do this by telling your boyfriend or husband to look for a specific item. For this, you are required to list some of your favorite things (things both of you like), and tell them to look for the items and take a picture of it.

These different surprise for boyfriend and husband will work at different occasion.

For a great dating buzz you will need to think of the method that is best to work with the surprise you already planned. Also think about best way to keep your surprise a secret. And best of all, have fun!

Tea In England

by Anuta Vasil

The English primarily drank coffee and wine as their staple drink, and tea was unknown in England till as late as 1662. In 1662 Charles II married Catherine of Braganza of Portugal, and it was his new bride who brought with her a preference of tea. She served tea instead of wine, ale and spirit. Tea soon acquired the status of royal drink and a social nicety for the rich.

However, tea's acceptance by British masses was quite slow. It was in late 1700 that tea's popularity picked up. As tea came from British colonies, it came to be viewed as a national drink, with patriotic sentiments attached to it.

Another reason which contributed to its popularity was the ease of its preparation technique.

While coffee grounds could be brewed only once, and reusing the

same ground yielded a much inferior flavour, tea leaves could be brewed several times without any significant drop in the quality of liquor. As tea was a high class drink and hence expensive, the British masses bought second hand, brewed leaves and brewed them longer to compensate. Tea was thus gradually finding place in British everyday life.

Soon, tea began to be sold in London coffee houses.

Tea was heavily advertised as a medicinal drink which helped maintain health and beauty. The coffee house owners charged heavily for a cup of tea, as much as 6-10 pounds per cup. The government soon imposed various taxes, regulations and restrictions on sale of tea, with a view to cash in on the growing tea trend.

This even led to tea being smuggled into England. Finally the taxes were

Tea, meanwhile, continued to grow in popularity. Around 1800, there developed an "Afternoon tea" culture, wherein rich ladies invited their friends for a cup of tea in the afternoon. They also served pastries, sandwiches or some snack along with it. It was accompanied by social graces, refined conversation, sweet gossip and polished etiquette. Yet another popular tea trend was serving tea in tea gardens. Pleasure gardens like Vauxhall or Ranelagh Gardens provided lush lawns for public to stroll and enjoy a hot cup of tea. The working class, however, took a break from work in the evening, and relaxed with tea.

The most well liked and sought after teas were English breakfast tea and Earl Grey. English breakfast tea, as its name, was consumed

mostly in the morning as its strong caffeine helped shake off sleepiness and start the morning energetically. It blended sumptuously with milk and sugar, and could be enjoyed anytime of the day. The Earl Grey provided a classic blend of fine black tea with bergamot essence. It was considered more sophisticated a tea.

In 1875, Thomas Lipton aggressively advertised tea. He replaced the coffee gardens in Ceylon with tea plantations, and opened his first tea shop. By the end of 19th century, he had almost set up his Tea Empire and laid the foundations of modern tea trade. The Indian and Ceylon blends, Brooke Bond and Lipton found a firm place in British everyday life. Tea had finally "arrived" in England

La Mia Kitchenette RISOTTO PRIMAVERA

Risotto rice with slow-cooked vegetables Today I am sharing with you a seasonal dish, Risotto Primavera. This is a traditional dish to be prepared at the start of the warmer climate hence the name 'primavera' which means spring, when the vegetables being used have reached full maturity at this time of the year. Like in the UK, Italy is home to many allotments where people grow and pick their own first fruits and vegetables to be used as ingredient in their cooking.

For 4 people: 300g risotto rice (Arborio or Carnaroli) 5 tbsp olive oil 80g asparagus tips 2 carrots - chopped 1/2 onion - chopped 1 stick of celery - chopped 150g peas (fresh if possible) a handful of basil leaves 80g french beans - halved 1/2 glass of dry white wine 1 lt vegetable stock 10 cherry tomatoes - halved 2 tbsp Parmesan + a few more to sprinkle salt & pepper a knob of butter 1. Start by cooking the carrots, peas and french beans in the oil for 5 minutes before

adding the asparagus, onion and celery 2. Cook for 5 minutes then add the rice and mix well with a wooden spoon 3. Pour the wine , stir again and let it evaporate. This will take about a minute 4. Continue to gently stir adding a ladle at a time of previously prepared stock, until the rice is cooked 'al dente' 6. Add the tomatoes and basil leaves and stir again 7. Once cooked, turn off the heat, add the 2 tbsp of Parmesan, a knob of butter, salt and pepper to taste, stir well, cover and let it rest for 23 minutes before serving 6. Sprinkle freshly grated Parmesan

Tip: Fresh podded peas are best but frozen work just as well.

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Slow down in this stressed free world and try developing self compassion rather than self esteem? For info call Matt 02074671508

Snoozing Your Way to fitness? overcoming a sleep problem Health by Phoebe Doyle

Failing to get sufficient sleep seems to be the common-cold of current times; work stresses, worries about our finances – all play a part. “Now approximately 10-15% of us, suffer with our sleep”, says Matt Broadway-Horner a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist from CBT In The City (www.cbtinthecity.com) , and what’s more this problem is more common in women than men. Matt says; “half of these sufferers report symptoms I’d consider severe” Well-being coach Dan Roberts (www.danroberts.com) says; “Insomnia is increasingly common in our over-stimulated, always-on, stressed-out modern world. But a lack of sleep can profoundly affect your mind function, decision-making and memory – all of which are crucial in fitness performance. A sleep deficit also has a powerful effect on your mood, so can be a key factor in stress, anxiety, depression or just feeling flat and uninspired.” These negative emotions will interfere with the commitment and energy that are required for working-out

How much sleep?

The right amount of sleep varies from person to person, but the average is about seven hours. Dan says that consistency is key too; “there’s no point getting five hours a night on weekdays and catching up with a 10-hour sleepathon at weekends. Your body needs downtime to repair damage caused during the day, while your mind needs night-time inactivity to process the day’s events (which is why we dream)”

Rise above depression with CBT

Exercise can help you sleep Dan explains how powerful exercise can be when it comes to easing you into slumber; “taking regular cardio exercise like running, spin classes, cycling or tennis for instance can help you to get a better night’s sleep. So too can calming, meditative exercise like yoga or tai chi “With Cardio-Vascular exercise you can actually burn off stress and anxiety. CV makes you physically tired, in a good and healthy way. More calming exercise, like Yoga, deactivates your stress response and activates your relaxation response.” If you are struggling with getting to sleep though it’s advisable to not do your workout too close to bedtime as this may make you too warm and too energised to sleep Sleep your way to better performance So exercise can help you sleep – but sleep can help your exercise? Personal Trainer, Gavin Walsh www.thebootcamp.co.uk believes that to reach your goals for physical fitness you need to be mentally fit too and that sleep is key, he explains; “Sleep is an often over-looked fitness tool. However, it is highly important, and should not be ignored if you don’t want performance to suffer. You’re more likely to achieve a Personal Best if you’ve had 7 hours + sleep” If we don’t sleep enough we just won’t be at our peak in terms of health and fitness levels. In fact sleep deprivation studies on mice have demonstrated that if you’re kept awake long enough, in time your immune system and overall well-being simply breaks down If we don’t sleep enough we just won’t be at our peak in terms of health and fitness levels. In fact sleep deprivation studies on mice have demonstrated that if you’re kept awake long enough, in time your immune system and overall well- being simply breaks down “Lots of studies show lack of sleep can lead to impaired reaction times and decreased endurance”, says Fitness expert Nick Critchley. He believes that performance suffers when sleep is lost; “sleeptime is when we replenish our neuro- transmitters as well as being a time for repair and regeneration of tissues used during intense exercise” Sleep for focus Gavin says research demonstrates that it can take up to 7-8 hours of sleep for our bodies to process the toxins we accumulate on a daily basis. “These toxins can help reduce focus as they interfere with our mind-set. The toxins include processed foods, alcohol, air pollution and even poor quality water.

The accumulation of these toxins and sleep deficit can throw our hormones to play havoc. For example, cortisol, a stress hormone increases with a lack of sleep which can further take-away from our focus on our sport or fitness activity”

Sleep and Diet Eating the wrong foods, putting on weight or just feeling more sluggish can have a hugely detrimental effect on our ability to exercise. Sleep, or lack thereof, can lead us into negative eating patterns, Dan explains; “If you struggle with food cravings or binge eating, one of the key triggers is being over-tired. When we are exhausted our strength is depleted and our willpower is low, so it’s much easier to succumb to cravings – especially for the kinds of sweet, sugary foods we crave during periods of low energy. You may also crave carbohydrates like crisps, pasta or rice or caffeinated drinks because your brain thinks you need quick, easily digested sources of energy. Getting the right amount of sleep will help keep these cravings at bay” Sleep and Injury Risk Gavin tell us that not getting enough sleep can increase the risk of getting injured because you won’t be paying enough attention to form; your stride and posture may suffer and this in turn can lead to twists and strains. He says, “If you’ve had a poor night’s sleep, then there is less chance that you’ll be working to your full strength during training. This lack in power and focus will have a damaging effect on how you move and your posture. All of this is crucial when at the gym performing highly demanding technical lifts; your risk of injury will certainly be increased.” Gavin acknowledges that it’s not just down the gym that problems might arise; “when running or taking part in any sport, if you’re feeling tired you’re much more likely to end up with an injury, and this could see you out of action for months”

MEDITATIONS Beyond the pace Exercise 1.

Close your eyes and stealing our joy, sense of content-

are we seated or lying down in a com- ment. So try now to switch this off fortable position? Lets begin with and try to develop a Teflon mind. breathing in and out…..spend some This is a repeat of extime now to get into a natural rhythm Exercise 2. and then use your attention to sense ercise 1 and then we pay attention to how your body is right now. The posi- sounds outside of the room then lets tioning of your hands, arms, torso, move your attention to your thoughts. bottom, legs,and feet. Observe using What do you notice? And describe your senses the sounds that you can what you notice. It maybe that the hear in the room but with out judge- mind tries to block thoughts, images ment. And lets move our attention to or the mind may let then rush in and sounds we can hear outside of the out. The mind will do something with room-What do you notice and de- the thoughts and it is this that we e.g. I can hear the clock need to discover. Lets move your ticking in the room, it sounds like a attention to emotions or feelings and tick tock sound- this is observing and see what the mind reacts to or pro-

It maybe that the mind tries to block thoughts, images or the mind may let then rush in and out.

The mind will do something with the thoughts and it is this that we need to discover.

scribe it?

The same cesses these. Do the feeling come as again but with a judgement place on waves rushing in and out? Is it calm? the experience:. I can hear the clock Again observe what the mind does describing what I notice.

ticking in the room, it sounds like a with that feeling. But remember that tick tock sound which is infuriating we do not have to react or act on the and I want to put the clock in another feeling or thought. We are observing room.

Analysis: It maybe that the and lets take time to remind ourselves judgements are there but what does that we don’t have to run out to try the mind do with such judgements? and get rid of the thought or feeling.

Does it force it forward or block it Some feelings can be intense and out? It is when we look at the mind in may lead to self harming behaviour this way that may provide some an- like cutting but slow down and reswers. The auto-pilot will jump member that you are in the chair and straight thru to judgement and com- give yourself permission to stay there. mit robbery,

M i n d f u l n e s s & A C Tcourses: Online: where

Anytime Any-

Criticism Style Top 6 points to handle criticism

4.

1.

Its best to remember that they are irritated or angry so give them time to finish.

2.

Is there a grain of truth to it? Many times there is but there needs to be some exploring on it

3.

Then use the negative assertion skill:

E.g. I know I was late this morning but I am not always late. Are you ok…whats wrong?

Because you have agreed with the grain of truth then their guard will come down and talk.

Remember they are focusing on an action not the whole you.

When being criticised it feels overwhelming because you feel the whole self is under attack. It is just the one aspect, action or inaction that is the focus If you find some common ground then the anger smoke screen disappears and then the real emotion is evident like sadness or concern at the thought of you not being there and so felt devastated

5.

6.

Dealing with criticism is a skill for life. You are only human just like others and when you realise this then the interaction will be authentic, real and painful but well worth it

Mindfulness & ACT course: Online: Anytime Anywhere Info 00442074671508

Dare to be authentic

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