buying guide Your Today, Their Tomorrow
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Home For The Holidays? Surviving Your Kid’s Break Drama-Free
wrap it up! 32 GIFTS THEY WILL ACTUALLY WANT
COMPLEXION PERFECTION EXPERT SOLUTIONS FOR YOUR AGE
DECEMBER / JANUARY 2014
3MealsYou
Need to Teach Your Kids to Cook Now!
Debbie Travis The Design Maven On Misconceptions, Mistakes & Making It Through The Teen Years
December/January 2014 |
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buying guide
LIFE IS FILLED WITH PRECIOUS MOMENTS Make them unforgettable with Mylestones™ charms Exclusively at Ben Moss Jewellers
Choose from over 300 beads and charms.
benmoss.com 2
inBetween | December/January 2014
65 STORES COAST TO COAST
editors’ note
Parenthood is a tricky game. One minute you think you have it all finally figured out; the next, every shred of your hard-earned parental confidence is thrown on its ear by a child who’s morphed into a know-it-all pre-adult almost overnight. In fact, it was on this game-changing parental shift that the idea for inBetween was born. While chatting over cupcakes and play dates with our young sons – there are four between us – we looked at each other and realized we have no idea how to cope when our boys hit their teens. Because, really, how can you prepare yourself for your child’s first relationship? Or deal with hormones that defy logic? Or not fall apart when it’s time to send them out into the big, bad world alone?
a message from the co-founders
We know our time will be here sooner than we’d like, which is why we’ve created a go-to source for this challenging portion of parenting. Filled with helpful advice from experts, moms who’ve been there, and general coping tactics to avoid throttling the apple(s) of your eye, our goal is to not only offer strategies that work when dealing with the most tumultuous – and arguably, the most important – parenting phase, but also celebrate this fleeting time of life. In this issue, we were lucky enough to interview Debbie Travis, one of Canada’s most recognizable designers and faces (page 46). Though she has a knack for creating the extraordinary in any space, she’s the first to admit the picture-perfect appearance she’s known for begins and ends with her television shows. In her book Not Guilty: My Guide to Working Hard, Raising Kids and Laughing Through the Chaos (Vintage Canada), she’s very open, honest and hilarious about being just another mom who sometimes finds herself hanging by a thread. We also delve into the mind of the reluctant adult in Not Ready to Go (page 28), investigating the trend wherein students are choosing to avoid high school graduation and thereby delaying moving forward with life in general. We also venture into what-can-be uncomfortable territory with our story on sexually transmitted infections (page 50) and why – even if the thought leaves you squeamish – you must have that difficult conversation with your teen.
Photography by Shlomi Amiga
And what’s a winter issue without a bit of fun? We searched high, low and online for the coolest, coveted and most-likely-tobe-loved gifts for your finicky offspring in our Gift Guide (page 53), and unwrapped four festive frocks (page 16) to get you holiday-ready in a snap. All that and we also pick a few experts’ brains on how best to keep your cool when your college or university student rolls in for the holidays (page 42) and more. We hope you enjoy this inaugural issue as much as we loved putting it together, and would love to hear your thoughts on it, future articles you’d like to see, and have you like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter. This is a great journey we’re all about to embark on. We can’t wait to be with you for the high, lows and everything inBetween!
& Rachel & Liz Co-Founders/Editors
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contributors
RYAN FRANCOZ For “RSVP Ready,” Toronto-based beauty and fashion photographer Francoz brought his A-game for our first-time models, making them smile, laugh and even full-out snort in front of the camera. “For this shoot I got to photograph four beautiful women wearing holiday dresses. Not exactly what you’d call a tough day at work.”
inbetween.ca
DEC/JAN 2014 CO-FOUNDERS AND EDITORS
ON GROWING UP “Throughout my childhood and mildly awkward teen years, my parents taught me to always see the humour in things. I’ll admit I sometimes needed help (and time) to laugh, but I usually did. My parents also made trust – going both ways – important and this kept the lines of communication open, which helped when things got tough. I look forward to raising my own son that way.”
Rachel Naud and Liz Bruckner ART DIRECTOR Adrienne Wilson DESIGNER Megan Funnell Brendon Porter
EIMEAR O’REILLY . WEBSITE MANAGER Victor Chard EDITORIAL/SOCIAL MEDIA INTERN Jaaron Collins ADVERTISING SALES info@inbetween.ca E-PUBLISHING Issuu Digital Publishing Services CONTRIBUTORS Shlomi Amiga, Cory Cambridge, Carol Funnell, Megan Funnell, Ryan Francoz, Lara Hyde, Erika Lagyjanszki, Kimberly Moffit, Chris Naud, Dana Doherty Reinke, Liz Robertson, Gail Vaz-Oxlade Copyright 2013 inBetween magazine. All rights reserved. No part of this magazine may be
A Toronto-based stylist by way of Ireland, O’Reilly put together looks for “RSVP Ready” that highlighted each woman’s unique physique. “I truly believe women of all shapes and sizes can look sexy. You don’t have to be a size zero to feel fabulous.” ON GROWING UP “I was very quiet and shy as a child and teen. Because of this, I love seeing confidence being instilled into a child. It’s so important for young adults to know and appreciate their talents and self-worth.”
MEGAN FUNNELL When writing “Find their Fragrance”, the Winnipeg-based freelance writer learned a thing or two about scents. “I had no idea the note combinations could be so complex! Now I don’t have to buy my nieces a gift card for the holidays – I’ll get them perfume instead.” ON GROWING UP “My teenage years were all about figuring myself out: what music I liked, what fashion style suited me best, and how to approach boys. I always looked to my parents to help guide me along the right path.”
reproduced in any form without the written permission of the publisher. The publisher accepts no responsibility for advertiser’s claims, unsolicited manuscripts, transparencies or other materials. For any questions, submissions, comments, please email info@inbetween.ca
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DANA DOUGHERTY REINKE . When not scribing our cover story, “Words to the Wise”, Dougherty Reinke is a busy Oakville mom of three, who also contributes to Today’s Parent, Canadian Family and Parents Canada. ON GROWING UP “As a teenager I was already an avid writer, pretty smart and was what my parents called ‘a good girl.’ I once read that the goal of parenting is to become the voice in your kid’s head and I know that’s what my mom was to me. I was afraid to do anything remotely bad because I was afraid of her reaction. She’d always be there, saying, “Dana, are you making me proud?” and I’d be like, “Dammit! I can’t do it now!”
contents
contents 03 04
co-founders’ notes contributors’ page
health, beauty & wellness 07
10
HOT TOPICS the latest health, beauty and parenting news
COMPLEXION PERFECTION
HEALTH & NUTRITION 3 meals your teen can make today
fashion, gifts & gadgets 14
BUYING GUIDE find their fragrance
24 GADGETS 4 technologies you need 53
GIFT GUIDE 32 gifts they’ll actually want
64 FASHION RSVP ready
travel 38
ON THE COVER Debbie Travis opens up about her book, Not
Guilty: My Guide to Working Hard, Raising Kids and Laughing Through the Chaos, her life with boys and making mistakes
December/January 2014 |
how to get the best skin in your 30s, 40s and 50s
20 FITNESS 15 minutes to a better body 64
46
THE OTHER KEYS a destination the whole family can enjoy
relationships, romance & life topics 28 TRENDS not ready to go 42 RELATIONSHIPS home for the holidays 44 ROMANCE rehab your romance 50
TEEN TALK discussing STIs
talking to the experts 34
EXPERT ADVICE Q&A with Kimberly Moffit
36 FINANCE saving for your child’s education 64 ANECDOTES Gail Vaz-Oxlade
inBetween
buying guide
A Classic Canadian Sport
The perfect gift for Canada’s Curling Fan Now you can bring it with you anywhere with this fun tabletop version created in partnership with the Canadian Curling Asscociation.
Deliver stones, designed and balanced with a ball bearing system that emulates the slide of a real stone! Sheet is over 1.2m long. Fun for the whole family. 2–8 players. Age: 6 years and up. Suggested Retail: $19.99 Compact Curling is available at: Canadian Tire Corporation item # 199-9055 Home Hardware Stores item # 7237-230 Mastermind Toys www.mastermindtoys.com Neighbourhood Toy Store Of Canada www.netscanada.org Princess Auto www.princessauto.com TSC Stores www.tscstores.com
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Interested Retailers please contact: Borgfeldt Canada Ltd., Ph: 1-800-268-5797 or email: sales@borgfeldt.ca inBetween | December/January 2014
In partnership with
Distributed By: Borgfeldt Canada Ltd. Markham, ON, Canada www.borgfeldt.ca
news
50
%
of girls between ages 11 and 15 have attempted a diet or undertaken another weight control measure in the last 12 months. - Stats Canada
TIRED?
BRUSH UP
DRINK MORE WATER
The best part: Two minutes of gentle, circular motions starting from your feet up is all it takes to see benefits.
According to a study in The Journal of Nutrition, women who were even down a mere 1.5 per cent of their water weight saw negative changes in both their mood and energy levels. To rectify the situation, drink up more often. Aim to down at least one glass before and after each meal, and if you’re not using the washroom every two to three hours, your body needs more.
Before your hit your next shower, invest in a dry brush and give your bod a once over. Not only will you be stimulating your lymphatic system – thereby moving toxins out of the body – you’re also removing dead skin cells, and toning your legs and rump.
this explains a lot
Research done over the past 10 years using magnetic scanners has shown that while the teenage brain is wired to let young people acquire knowledge and skills more easily than adults, the parts that control impulses and planning aren’t yet fully developed. So if your teen is prone to reacting emotionally or impulsively... well, there you have it.
Foods that Fight Bloat Despite what every weight loss infomercial ever aired would have you believe, a flatter stomach begins in the kitchen. These three superstar foods can help trim your tummy, fast. Avocado: Studies have shown that consumption of this fruit, which is rich in monosaturated fat, resulted in the loss of more stomach bulge when compared to consumption of the same number of calories, but less of this fat. Probiotic Yogurt: By promoting the growth of good bacteria in your stomach, this type of yogurt works to minimize pouch-puffing bacteria, thereby shrinking bloat. Bulgur: A whole grain that packs a hefty fibre punch, it keeps the body’s blood sugar levels low while also promoting tummy fat loss at a higher rate versus refined grains.
news
GIRL POWER
An Oakville, Ont.-based spa is helping preserve teens’ selfesteem one pedicure at a time. In an attempt to combat unrealistic and potentially damaging body image aspirations, Pretty in Pink Spa Studio is one of the first in Canada to cater only to young girls, tweens and teens – and the women in their lives. The spa features highly nourishing and delicious-smelling products that are all natural, certified organic, 100 per cent vegan and gluten-free, and are designed to immediately hydrate, soften and feed young skin. All this and it’s done in an inspirational, age-appropriate space where girls can bond with all the special women in their lives.
The harsh facts about YELLING!!!
Next time you want to scream at your kid for not cleaning his room, take a deep breath. A new study shows that yelling, screaming, swearing, insulting or calling your teen names doesn’t work. Known as harsh verbal discipline, these parenting actions can increase the risk that the adolescent will misbehave and suffer symptoms of depression. Case in point: Thirteen-year-olds who received a lot of harsh verbal discipline from their parents were more likely to have symptoms of depression at age 14, finds the journal Child Development. They were also more likely to exhibit problem behaviours such as anger, aggression, vandalism and misconduct.
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%
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Your Brain on Sugar Can’t remember where you left your keys? Blame your morning dose of sweets. According to the findings of a recent study published in the journal Neurology, foods with high levels of sugar do more than spike your insulin – they interfere with memory, too. After studying the post-sugar effects of 141 participants, researchers found that the higher a person’s blood glucose levels, the worse they performed on tests involving recall and learning ability. Even more alarming was the fact that participants with higher levels of long-term blood sugar typically had a smaller hippocampi – an area of the brain responsible for playing a key role in memory.
YOU ARE WHATYOU EAT
A new study published in the Journal of Adolescent Health found that parents’ attitudes about dinnertime and food in general can have a large impact on their children’s eating habits. The study involved more than 500 boys and girls between the ages of 13 and 15 who reported their eating habits, their parents’ current feeding habits and their own weight and height. The study authors were slightly surprised to find that it was the boys who reported more eating disorder symptoms from their parents. “This is one of the first
studies to examine parental feeding practices from the adolescent’s perspective,” Holub told Medicalxpress. “I think this provides a unique vantage point from which to examine the The number of Grade 12 students in parent-adolescent feeding relationship, especially because Ontario who reported having one or during the teen years, parents and their adolescents may see the more alcoholic drinks in the past year. world very differently.” - parentactionondrugs.org
buying guide
aqua folia
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skincare
COMPLEXION PERFECTION No matter what the date on your driver’s licence, with the right products and treatments, the best skin of your life may well be ahead of you. (No, really.) By Liz Bruckner
It’s no secret that with each passing decade, your face undergoes a metamorphosis: The formation of lines in your 30s, gradual loss of tone in your 40s, and postmenopausal dryness in your 50s. But the right products and treatments can help you tackle these challenges by giving your complexion what it needs, when it needs it. That’s where this decade-by-decade guide comes in. Here you’ll find products to try, ingredients to avoid, and – most importantly – how to make the most of the skin you’ve got.
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skincare
30s: Though skin in this age
seek professional help
soften lines
When a woman hits her 30s, the signs of aging are first range is still relatively youthful, noticeable around the eyes, between the brows and across the plump and radiant, the hands of forehead. Small amounts of Botox can soften the appearance time have started showing them- of these issues without creating “frozen face,” says Dr. Sonya selves in the form of fine lines Cook, a Toronto-based dermatologist and medical director of Compass Dermatology, while lines between the nose and from the nose to mouth, and crow’s feet around the eyes. Blem- corners of your mouth can be filled out with hyaluronic acid dermal fillers like Juvederm. ishes are also more likely to appear now – particularly along the lower nix pigmentation part of the face – as are enlarged For complexions experiencing melasma (large patches of pores, brown spots and for some, pigmentation resembling the mask of pregnancy) or sun spots, laser treatments can help. An introductory treatment, it the beginnings of skin dryness.
at-home help
wash carefully Look for lightweight, non-drying liquid cleansers that won’t alter the pH of skin or irritate it, says Dr. Paul Cohen, dermatologist at Toronto’s Rosedale Dermatology Centre. Try one with alpha hydroxy acids (AHAs) in the morning to clear away dead skin, and a gentle, creamy cleanser at night to hydrate your complexion.
addresses and prevents the early signs of aging by improving skin texture, evening out discolouration and reducing pore size without downtime. Four to six monthly sessions are recommended.
correct broken blood vessels Noticeably broken blood vessels can be eradicated once zapped with multiple wavelengths of light, courtesy of Intense Pulsed Light (IPL). No downtime is needed and results last for up to a year. For best results, three to five sessions are required.
load on the moisturizer Keeping skin supple and dewy-looking can be challenging, but you’ll have better luck pulling it off by upgrading your moisturizer to a richer, more hydrating version. Look for one with hyaluronic acid, which is vital for fighting dryness and improving your skin’s ability to hold onto water, and vitamin C, to brighten skin and minimize the signs of aging.
brush up on exfoliation Skin will show almost immediate improvements when you slough off dead cells, but be careful not to use large, harsh exfoliants. For a clearer complexion, look for cleansers, moisturizers or night creams with glycolic or salicylic acid, and use a night cream with retinoids – ingredients derived from vitamin A to boost collagen, soften lines, minimize pores, help fade dark spots – for best results. “Just be sure to always use sunscreen once you’ve started using these products, as you’re exfoliating away the top layer of skin and leaving it more vulnerable to UV damage,” says Dr. Cohen. products: Dermalogica Daily Microfoliant, $72; NeoStrata Daytime Moisture Infusion Cream, $29; Aquafolia Gentle Cleansing Essence, $57
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skincare
40s: This is the decade in
which the breakdown of collagen is most apparent, making loss of tone and blood vessels increasingly visible. It’s also now that poor lifestyle choices, such as smoking, irregular sleep and UV damage can exacerbate skincare (read: aging) issues. Skin is also losing elasticity, meaning crow’s feet, dark circles and puffiness around the eyes are pronounced. at-home help
slather on the retinoids
seek professional help
minimize lines
It’s typical for women in their 40s to see deepened creases, lose volume in the mid-face area, and to experience hollowing under the eyes and in the cheeks, says Dr. Cook. Restoring volume with injectable fillers like Restylane helps return fullness to the face, while Botox is the surest way to smooth lines you already see – and prevent more. As an added bonus, it can also be injected into the muscle around the eyes to produce a non-surgical brow lift, says Dr. Cook. Most patients need two to three sessions of injectables and Botox a year, with each lasting approximately four months. Fillers can last up to 18 months, depending on the product and site of injection.
lighten dark patches Reducing sun spots and melasma can be done via the Clear and Brilliant Laser, which zaps them away while improving the
Consider retinoids your complexion’s new best friend.
texture of skin and reducing pore size. At least four monthly
Prescription versions yield noticeable changes after six to
sessions are needed to even your complexion, followed by a
eight weeks, while retinol, the most potent over-the-counter
maintenance session every six to 12 months for upkeep.
option, shows noticeable affects after 12 weeks, says Dr. Cohen. For best results, look for a product with up to one per cent retinol, and apply it to skin two or three times a week for two weeks. If your skin shows no signs of sensitivity, apply it every second night for two weeks and work your way up to a nightly application. Finally, don’t forget to use sunscreen on a daily basis, adds Dr. Cohen, since retinoids remove the top layer of skin, leaving it exposed to potential damage.
exfoliate, exfoliate, exfoliate Once you’re using retinoids nightly, add a twice-weekly application of alpha-hydroxy acid to the mix. Though both ingredients exfoliate and reveal brighter, smoother skin, they stimulate cell renewal differently, so using both will deliver better results, faster. For drier skin, try using a formulation with moisturizing lactic acid.
fade dark spots Though hydroquinone is one of the most effective ways to fade noticeable pigmentation and blotchiness, it’s best used for no more than three months, and only if you’re diligently protecting your skin from the sun. Licorice extract or kojic acid also offer skin-lightening benefits, and are both good ingredients for long-term results. products: AquaFolia Enzymatic Exfoliant Step 1&2, $134; Primavera Revitalizing Serum, $80; Life Brand Vitamin A Night Cream, $11
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refresh your complexion A painless light energy that minimizes sun spots and broken blood vessels, broadband light (BBL) does so without pain or downtime. Though the number of 20-minute sessions needed are based on a patient’s degree of damage, three-to-five monthly treatments are usually required for optimal results. One or two yearly maintenance treatments are recommended.
skincare
50s: The biggest problems
seek professional help
volume’s where it’s at
for complexions in the 50s are The best solution for complexions lacking volume is, well, volume. Consider an injectable like Restylane or Juvederm for dryness due to lower levels of estrogen, more noticeable brown plumping lips, lines and the under-eye area, and for deeper folds and sunken cheeks, ask about Perlane, which lasts up spots, and wrinkling that has to eight months and offers noticeable results in these areas. become more pronounced, says Dr. Cohen. Making matters worse, fight wrinkles underlying facial fat continues Fine lines on the forehead, between the brows and around to be lost, creating a hollowedthe eyes can be softened by Botox, while laser resurfacing procedures such as the micro laser peel (MLP) and looking under-eye area. at-home help
swap your cleanser The most important thing to remember when caring for moisture-sapped skin is to imbue it with hydration. Pass on oil-stripping cleansers in favour of moisturizing versions, and look for formulas with humectants like urea and hyaluronic
fractioned ablative lasers, such as Profractional and Fraxel, can address wrinkles, pigmentation, acne scars and loss of elasticity. MLP requires three sessions for results that last a year, while fractionated lasers offer more impressive results with fewer treatments (one to two), but also require more downtime. They also offer longer-lasting results.
acid to draw in water and keep it there.
get plumper skin
be careful with your eyes
Packing a one-two punch, fractionated non-ablative lasers
The bad news: Crow’s feet become more obvious as a result of collagen and fat loss under the eyes. The better news: Eye cream can help. Look for one with silicone; it will help fill in fine lines temporarily, and offers the area a hydration boost at once, or vitamin K, which works to prevent the pooling of blood under the eyes, and thereby minimizes dark circles.
pump up the hydration
diminish spots and stimulate collagen by splitting each light beam into microscopic zones, meaning only 20 per cent of your face is targeted per session. The skin cells around these dots are untouched, allowing them to help heal affected areas quickly. At least three sessions are needed to resurface the face. Full effects are seen after six months, and one week of recovery time is needed following a procedure. Results are long term.
To override the parched skin created by hormonal changes that occur during this stage of life, look for creams made for very dry complexions – they’ll help repair and strengthen the fragile moisture barrier and give skin a much-needed hydration boost. products: Weleda Gentle Cleansing Milk, $25; NeoStrata Anti-Aging Serum Fruit and Peptide Stem Cells, $75; Primavera Revitalizing Intensive Repair Eye Cream, $60
Skin Saver: If you haven’t yet made daily sunscreen application a part of your skincare routine, get on it. UV exposure is responsible for about 70 per cent of skin aging, but it’s never too late to start protecting your mug. For the best protection, look for a broad-spectrum sunscreen with an SPF of at least 30, and consider applying antioxidants such as L-ascorbic acid under your sunscreen to further enhance your protection from UV rays. December/January 2014 |
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buying guide
sniff it out
Phtography by Megan Funnell
First things first: Before you hit the stores, take note of your child’s interests, says Bendeth. “More than ever, teens are identifying with a celebrity or hot trend name as opposed to a scent. That said, it’s important to recognize that perfume and cologne preferences are personal. Spend time writing down what your kid really loves – check out their bedroom or bathroom for clues – and if you’re stuck, ask their friends.”
Find Their Fragrance
With more than 1,000 scents lining store shelves, the odds of randomly finding one they’ll like are, well, slim. Here’s how to help make sure that “It’s awesome!” doesn’t turn into “It’s awful.” By Megan Funnell Buying a fragrance for your teen or young adult can be an exercise in determination. While you may invest painstaking hours of careful, strategic searching for the perfect scent, make the mistake of choosing the wrong perfume category and cue the eye rolls. This year, that all changes with the help of Marian Bendeth, global fragrance expert and owner of Sixth Scents. Whether your offspring views perfume as a fashion necessity, a finishing touch, or just likes to collect the bottles, more than ever before there’s a scent for everyone. Here’s how to find the right one.
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Once you’ve done the detective work, try to pair their personality, style and even wardrobe to the various types of scents available. You should pick up on the fact that you’re not only buying a ‘scent’ – you’re buying a product with its own personality, style and tone. “This is where a wardrobe of fragrances can be created,” says Bendeth. “Ask yourself, “What would he wear to school?” or “What would she wear to a girls’ night?” Have fun with it.”
hit the right note Fragrances range from citrus, green and floral to musk, amber and woodsy – all with layers of notes that bring the personality of the scent to life. As each note settles into the next, the fragrance evolves throughout the day, so it’s important to pick a fragrance best suited for your child’s life. “Spicier or sweeter scents are ideal for evening wear because these blends tend to be heavier and more dense,” says Bendeth. “Conversely, lighter, floral, fresh, green or pale scents are ideal for daytime.”
when in doubt, go classic Sometimes the safest bet is a people pleaser – especially if the apple of your eye is new to fragrance. A few to consider: Chanel No. 5, Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue and Estée Lauder Beautiful.
buying guide
for her Killer Queen by Katy Perry
Play by Givenchy
Honey by Marc Jacobs
Borrowing its beautiful red, velvety look and feel from the red velvet flower, this scent incorporates wild berry, dark plum and bergamot before settling into the rich floral notes of the red velvet flower, natural jasmine sambac and rainbow plumeria. $59 for 50ml. Buy it: Major retailers across Canada, including Shoppers Drug Mart/Pharmaprix & Sears.
With top notes of juicy peach and white currant, middle notes with powdery accents of white iris and licorice blossom, and base notes that include creamy amyris wood and soft musk, this scent gently settles on and into the skin. $82 for 75ml. Buy it: Exclusively at Shoppers Drug Mart.
Energized with the freshness of green pear and brightened with fruity punch and juicy mandarin, the heart of Honey is orange blossom blended with touches of honeysuckle, peach, vanilla and smooth woods. $80 for 50ml. Buy it: The Bay, Sears, Holt Renfrew, Ogilvy Murale, Shoppers Drug Mart, London Drugs, Jean Coutu & Sephora.
Just Cavalli by Roberto Cavalli
CK One Shock by Calvin Klein
Eau de Lacoste L.12.12 Noir by Lacoste
for him This fragrance opens with top notes of wild pimento that softly complement the heart of the scent – vetiver wood. The scent then settles into the soft base of smooth leather. Price: $68 for 50ml. Buy It: The Bay, Sears, Shoppers Drug Mart & Sephora across Canada.
Built around aromatic, spicy, and deep oriental nuances, it pairs citrusy clementine and fresh cucumber with black pepper, black basil, cardamom, musk, patchouli, and ambrene wood. $48 for 50ml. Buy it: Major retailers across Canada, including Shoppers Drug Mart, The Bay & Sears.
Enticing with its opening notes of watermelon, Egyptian basil, lavender and verbena, it intensifies into a rich blend of dark chocolate, cashmeran, coumarin and patchouli. $100 for 78ml. Buy it: Exclusively at Shoppers Drug Mart Lacoste Boutiques nationwide.
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fashion
RSVP
READY
What to wear to those holiday fetes? Put these frocks on your short list.
Photography: Ryan Francoz | Stylist: Eimear O’Reilly Hair & Makeup: Liz Robertson
An above-the-knee stunner that’s perfect for any festive affair, it can easily morph into work attire with a cardigan, tights and your favourite flats. Dress, H&M, $40. Gold Necklace, Gap, $6. Clutch, H&M, $30. Heels, model’s own.
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fashion
Multiple accessories add drama to this frame-flattering, swingy frock while eye-catching heels lend a playful effect. Dress, Sears, $70. Earrings, model’s own. Crystal Necklace, Aldo, $18. Heels, Aldo, $58.
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fashion
Undeniably fetching, this velvet dress is great for a gathering with friends or a night out with your signficant other. Adding sparkle with the clutch and heels dials up the femininity. Dress, Pink Martini, $88. Clutch, Sears, $50. Heels, Aldo, $68.
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fashion
Form-fitting and bold, this mini dress puts the spotlight directly on you. A chunky necklace adds visual interest, while strappy heels elongate the legs. Dress, Express, $88. Necklace, model’s own. Heels, Aldo, $110.
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fitness
15 MINUTES TO A BETTER BODY Take a pass on the treadmill for moves that will have you dropping pounds, fast! By Susan Bosley
Committing to an hour-long workout at the gym can sometimes be downright painful... in more ways than one. With busy schedules – juggling home, work and kids’ activities – pounding it on the treadmill often gets tossed to the “I’ll do it tomorrow” list. The good news? You don’t need an hour or a gym membership to get a good sweat on. In fact, I have created a full-body workout that you can do in just 15 minutes from the comfort of your home. Do it a few times a week with songs that keep you pumped, and you’ll see that making time to tone doesn’t have to be an afterthought.
target: arms how-to: Picture a clock and (with or without three-pound weights) starting with your right arm at shoulder height, push your weight to 12:00. Take your time initially to allow your muscles and tendons to get used to the motion, but go around the clock, push and extend to 1:00, back to 12:00, 2:00 and back to 12:00 and so on, all the way around, crossing your body for the 7:00, etc. As your muscles become conditioned you’ll be ready to take it slightly faster. Repeat on your other arm.
fit tip: Listen to a fast-paced song while working each target area. Don’t stop your reps until the song is over. 20
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fitness
target: legs and bum
how-to: Find a ball small enough that you’ll be able to squeeze and hold behind your knee. Either leaning on the arm of a couch, hanging onto the back of a chair or getting on all fours, squish the ball behind your knee and squeeze so that the back of
your leg (hamstring) is receiving the benefit. Squeeze the ball and lift slightly, lower back down to hover, lift a little higher, lower back down, and then lift (or try to) so your thigh is parallel to the ground. Perform these movements for one full song per leg; switch.
target: abs
how-to: Lay flat on your back, and with one arm supporting your neck and the other holding a light barbell (choose one no more than three pounds), reach the weight up and slightly across your body to an imaginary
10:00, with your shoulder rolling up and off the floor, then rolling back down. Immediately reach along your right leg with your shoulders rolling up off the floor. Do these moves for the entire song, but switch sides in the middle of it.
target: cardio
how-to: Pick your favourite song – one that motivates and gets you dancing – and aim to move every part of your body in every direction as it plays. Move forward, backward, to the sides and even diagonally to engage every muscle possible. Some moves to try: Jog or hop with sky punches, jog or hop with forward punches, jump and criss-cross your feet while sky punch diagonally, do jumping jacks, hop sideto-side with your arms swaying overhead, twist with your feet and knees and thighs together and arms out or jog intensely and bum kick. Do one or all of the above movements until the song is over. Susan Bosley is the owner and creator of “SkinnyLegs.” (skinnylegs.ca), a whole-body, non-bulking, non-repetitive approach to creating a longer, leaner, stronger, slimmer you. December/January 2014 |
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buying guide
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4 gadgets
Gadgets You Need to Know About
It’s tough to stay on top of the latest and greatest gadgets. Luckily, we’ve got your back so you can be down with today’s hottest technology. Here’s what you’ll need to get your geek on. By Chris Naud THE ROOTS ROCK BLUETOOTH PORTABLE AUDIO SYSTEM What it is: This portable audio system, which runs on a built-in rechargeable battery and connects to any Bluetooth-enabled device, serves up some serious sound. But wait, there’s more: The system base is made from recycled plastic and the cover/stand is made from a mixture of organic cotton, hemp and recycled bottles. Why it’s cool: Your kid will be the life of the party! Plus, the built-in strap and courier bag design gives it a contemporary edge. Cost: $200 Get it: thehouseofmarley.ca
THE PEBBLE What it is: Part fashion accessory, part tech advancement, this watch connects to your smartphone through Bluetooth and is compatible with both Android and IOS smartphones. Translation: Users can not only check emails, texts, updates and reminders, they can also control their musical playlists, track workouts and more. Why it’s cool: Cool features aside, your teen will love having their pick of an array of colours (grey, cherry red, jet black, arctic white and orange) and can customize the watch’s face on a daily basis to suit their mood and style. Cost: $150 Get it: getpebble.com
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gadgets
JAYBIRD BLUEBUDS X BLUETOOTH HEADPHONES What it is: Perfect for the fitness enthusiast, these headphones promise high-quality sound and a lifetime warranty against sweat damage. They come with a sleek design, eight-hour battery life, built-in audio controls (including Jena audio control) and the smallest Bluetooth footprint on the market. Why it’s cool: These headphones can double as a cellphone headset complete with voice command. They also come with multiple adaptors for over and under-theear configurations. Cost: $170 Get it: jaybirdgear.com
MYO GESTURE CONTROL DEVICE What it is: By using your hand gestures to wirelessly control your computer (Windows or Mac), smartphones and other remote control devices, the MYO measures electric currents in your muscles and movements, allowing you to control devices through five pre-programmed gestures. Why it’s cool: Hello, sci-fi. Not only will you be able to brag about using technology featured in movies like Pacific Rim, you’ll also be able to control music, videos, presentations and more. Be warned though: a gadget this cool comes with a waiting list. Pre-order it now, just in time for 2014! Cost: $149 Get it: thalmic.com
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buying guide
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trends
NOT READY TO GO Come graduation, most students can’t wait to leave the halls of high school behind. But for others, the thought of moving on is terrifying, which is why some purposely choose to stay. By Lara Hyde Kids grow up fast. From the moment they hit primary school, they obsess over dressing older, being older, doing what older kids do and even emulate what their “grown-up” friends have to say. In fact, most kids seem to be in a perpetual hurry to speed the hands of time. But that isn’t the case for everyone. For many teens, “growing up” is a fact of life approached with a varying degree of anxiety. Simply put, while some brim with excitement at what possibilities life as a young adult will bring, others are flat out scared of what lies ahead growing up is hard to do “Growing up is not a one-time event – it’s a series of transitions and normal
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developmental milestones,” says Michelle Bates, registered social worker and the mental health lead for the HamiltonWentworth District School Board. “New experiences challenge us and they can represent uncertainty in relation to the unknown, meaning we often approach these transitions with a reduced sense of our own competency. Teens entering a new phase in life might question their ability to deal,” she says. One of the most pivotal transitions in a young adult’s life is the transition from high school to post-secondary education. For many, this means moving out of the family home and living on their own for the first time. It also means taking ownership of one’s future and choosing a path toward
trends
Phtography by Megan Funnell December/January 2014 |
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trends
an eventual career. This is a huge step that can cause emotional and mental stress in some teens. “There can be anxiety associated with moving out and leaving the familiar – particularly when it comes to parents, who take care of everything for you,” says Cindy Babyn, the Ottawa-based author of the book, Moving Out! A Young Adult’s Guide to Living on Your Own. “More confident teens tend to approach this transition with a level of excitement, but it really depends on one’s readiness,” she adds. the victory lap, defined A term coined to describe a student’s purposeful avoidance of life beyond the sanctuary of high school, the “victory lap” happens when students stay for an extra year whether they’ve met all their graduation requirements or not. (Ontario is one of the last provinces that allows students to return for a fifth year of high school, even though Ontario’s Grade 13 – the Ontario Academic Credit program – was phased out in 2003.) Currently in the middle of his victory lap, 18-year-old Max Miller from Ancaster, Ont. is thankful he has the choice to take it. A well-spoken jazz guitar player who has travelled extensively with his family, he says he always knew he would take a post-grad year. “I don’t feel comfortable moving on yet. I know lots of people who stayed back because they’re not ready either. It’s not unusual. They’re just not ready.” According to the Ontario Ministry of Education, in 2010-11, over 20,000 students – roughly 13 per cent in total – who graduated in four years returned for at least another semester. In fact, based on the popularity of the victory lap year, the provincial government implemented a 34-credit cap this September. Miller says he doesn’t feel “mentally mature enough” to leave high school yet. “Being on your own, living away from home and even renting an apartment are all a big deal.” Such a big deal, in fact, that a
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Lakehead University study published in the Canadian Journal of Educational Administration and Policy in 2010 suggests the victory lap pathway to university may also be a form of transition anxiety. Jacqueline Kroeker, a former high school teacher and current vice-principal at Acadia Junior High in Winnipeg, concurs and says that while the victory lap isn’t a notable trend in Western Canada, “by semester two, the anxiety level rises in Grade 12 students. The fear of not knowing what to do is overwhelming for some.” motivating to move on So can parents help ease pre-grad stress? The good news is that the values instilled in teens, along with behavioural and academic expectations, can have a big influence on their feelings around growing up and taking charge of their lives.
“Simple things, such as teaching them to cook healthy meals, to do laundry, and going over basic budgeting skills can help prepare teens for life outside of their childhood home.” “Sometimes there’s too much pressure to know from a young age what you want to be when you grow up,” says Carolyn Venema, a secondary program consultant for the Leadership and Learning Department of the Hamilton-Wentworth District School Board. “This can be self-defeating as much as it can be motivating; kids might be afraid to grow up because all the planning then starts to become real.” She asserts that instilling a sense of ‘I can do this’ is critical to a teen’s ability to successfully cope with transition. “All kids need to experience success to build their
sense of self-sufficiency, but kids also need to experience failure – within safe boundaries – to learn from mistakes and develop a healthy attitude of resiliency.” encouraging independence Teaching kids independent living skills is integral for making the transition to adult life less emotionally taxing. “We need to help kids become independent from a very young age,” says Venema. “If they have never built the skills for everyday living, then the fear of growing up may literally come from having no idea how to live on their own.” Babyn agrees that certain anxieties associated with leaving home can be easily avoided by preparing kids for the practical aspect of living on their own. Simple things, such as teaching them to cook healthy meals, showing them how to do laundry, and going over basic budgeting skills can go a long way toward preparing teens for life outside of their childhood home. As for Miller, he hopes that committing himself to an extra year of high school will help raise his marks and get him into the university of his choice next September. “There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to graduate because I’m afraid I’ll miss [high school life] too much. But you’ve got to move on sometime, right?”
ASK AN EXPERT CATEGORY
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Are you getting the personal service you deserve? The past year as seen some of the most financially volatile times for Canadians. Where do you go from here? With these changes in mind, are your future financial dreams being managed accordingly? Is your current Financial Advisor meeting your needs and addressing your financial goals? Perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate. Call today for your FREE Is yourAdvisor Right forYou Questionnaire. Find out the Top 10 Questions you need to be asking your current Financial Advisor. It could reveal potential weaknesses in your current financial situation.
Call (905) 877-4579 or visit www.ridingteam.ca
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expert advice
QA &
Q
My daughter hasn’t been herself lately. I know her passwords for Facebook and Twitter and really want to log in to find out if anything is going on, but I’m worried she’ll hate me if she finds out I have. Should I risk it?
with Kimberly Moffit Q
After dinner my son locks his bedroom door and attaches himself to the computer. How do I encourage him to connect with me sans screen?
A: While computers provide a valuable forum allowing young people to connect with others, spending numerous hours on one every night can signify a deeper issue. Does your son play any sports? Enjoy playing an instrument? Does he participate in after-school activities? If the answer is ‘no,’ then his lack of engagement with the outside world could be the problem. You In my opinion, logging into her Facebook or Twitter account may seem to be worried about your son’s connection with you, but actually hurt your relationship and create a larger barrier between he could also be missing out on connecting “in-person” with other people his age. the two of you - especially if she finds out. As her parent, your goal is to provide a warm and non-judgemental environment for Encourage him to take up a new, structured activity one or two her to talk about her experiences and feelings if she needs to. nights per week, like martial arts, acting or a group sport. Use My suggestion is to spend more time with her with the intention of time driving to and from the activity as a valuable opportunity to simply be together. And remember: Connecting can’t be forced getting some insight into what’s going on. Take her shopping or for a spa day. Drive her to school. Ask if there’s anything she wants – it happens when you least expect it, and often when a safe and non-judgemental environment is provided where he can to talk about. These situations provide the opportunity for her to express his feelings. The time spent in the car will give him the confide in you if she needs to. Remember, attacking the issue too directly (i.e. Saying things while hyperventilating, like “Why haven’t opportunity to talk about school, relationships and other things in his life (if he wants). you been yourself lately?” or “What is going on with you - are you A: Adolescents tend to go through ‘phases’ – from groups of friends, likes/dislikes to interests, habits and opinions. While it’s normal to have a daughter who isn’t herself for a while, there is always concern among parents like yourself who are afraid this might be a sign of something deeper.
into drugs?”) will likely drive her further away. And if she does bring an issue to the table, try to remain calm. Your reaction will set the stage for trust and security now and in the future. All that said, there are certain warning signs to watch for that fall beyond the realm of “normal” teenage behaviour. These are symptoms that can present themselves when a teenager is a victim of bullying, might be showing signs of depression or suicide, or is showing signs of anxiety. These include: Spending larger than normal (teenage) amounts of time sleeping or in bed, giving away possessions or money, changes in eating behaviour, total social isolation, or a sudden loss of interest in the things that used to be fun for her. If you do notice any of these things, it may be time for her to speak to a therapist or a professional who can help. Good luck!
Kimberly Moffit is one of Canada’s most experienced relationship experts and provides practical advice for families, parenting and psychological topics. She makes regular TV appearances on CTV’s Canada AM, CBC’s The National, City TV News and the Global TV’s Morning Show to name a few. Have a question for Kimberly? Email info@inbetween.ca
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EXPERT Q&A
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finance
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finance
Smart Saving: The Procrastinator’s Guide Even if you haven’t put away a penny, and college or university is looming for your teen, here’s how to save on the quick. By Carol Funnell As any seasoned parent can vouch, nothing slips through your fingers faster than time…except maybe money. And for some, both seem to fly by simultaneously. Like when your little Einstein morphs into a high school senior seemingly overnight, and instead of taste-testing mud pies, he’s now sussing out the pros and cons of which college or university to attend, um, next year. Whether you’ve managed to build a small nest egg or none at all, breathe easy: There’s still time to put money away and help make your child’s post-secondary dreams a reality. Here’s where to start.
open a Registered Education Savings Plan (RESP) The best saving option parents have when it comes to post-secondary education is an RESP, which also happens to be approved by the Government of Canada. Although the maximum lifetime contribution cannot exceed $50,000, any income earned on RESP contributions are accumulated on a tax-deferred basis, since they’re registered with Revenue Canada. Translation: When your child starts withdrawing money to pay for their education, the income will be taxed to them, but because they often have little to no income, this means little to no taxes will be paid by them. Parents can also set up a family RESP plan that includes several beneficiaries – and allows anyone to contribute on behalf of those beneficiaries – so don’t be shy about dropping hints to aunts, uncles, grandparents and family friends in need of birthday or Christmas gift ideas.
Carol Funnell is a Winnipeg-based financial adviser with more than 28 years’ experience. She can be reached at c.funnell@shaw.ca.
grow your money faster Enlist the government to help pay for your child’s education? Yes, please. When parents register for an RESP, it automatically comes with an incentive that helps funds accumulate faster. Here’s how: At the end of every fiscal year, Revenue Canada will receive notification of your contribution. At that point they will add 20 per cent on the first $2,500, to a maximum amount of $500 per year. This credit is known as the Canada Education Savings Grant, and is available each year until the plan’s beneficiary turns 18 years old or maxes out at $7,200.
borrow to invest If you’ve just started an RESP, chances are you won’t have enough saved to make much of a dent in postsecondary costs, given the rising costs of tuition, books, school supplies, accommodation and living expenses. That said, leveraging yourself – borrowing money to invest, and then using the proceeds to supplement an RESP – is a good secondary option to help your child survive the first year. The expectation is that your investment will grow over time and be worth more when cashing out and paying off the loan and other costs. One thing to keep in mind when leveraging: The entire amount you invest will benefit from the power of compounding for the months of years needed. When the time comes for you to withdraw for your child’s education, you will have paid the taxes on the investment earnings and will be able to pay back the original amount advanced, while also keeping any remaining earnings. Of course, there’s always risk in borrowing to invest, but remember that depending on your choice of investment mix, you have the potential to substantially increase the value of your portfolio over time. What’s more, you’ll also have created a tax deduction because generally the interest on the loan can be deducted because you borrowed the money for investment purposes. A clear case of win/win.
have your teen chip in It’s one thing for parents to save; it’s another when your teen climbs on the bandwagon and gets involved. Encourage him to save a hefty portion of summer job earnings for unexpected costs that will inevitably arise during the school year. And have him look into bursaries and scholarships at Canlearn.ca, too. There are literally thousands up for grabs for Canadian students, along with other assistance programs, as well.
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growing getaways
The Other Keys Looking for a unique all-ages escape? Take our advice: Florida’s Siesta Key and Longboat Key are two destinations worth checking out By Rachel Naud
Choosing a destination the whole family will enjoy can be challenging – especially when princesses and Mickey Mouse ears won’t cut it anymore. As kids grow older and mature, their taste in vacations evolve. (Read: They become interested in fine dining, recreational activities and discovering unique gems worthy of a Twitter, Facebook or Instagram brag post.) As such, choosing a group getaway that fits the bill can be a tall order. Thankfully, Florida’s “Other Keys” meets these criteria, and then some.
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growing getaways
siesta and longboat keys Located on the west coast of Florida, Siesta Key and Longboat Key overlook the Gulf of Mexico and are just a short drive from the Sarasota/Bradenton International Airport. Thing is, once you arrive you feel worlds away from the hustle and bustle of urban life. And even though the shores of both Siesta Key and Longboat Key are renowned for their award-winning sugary white sand and calm waters of the Gulf, there is so much more to the area than just sand and surf. to the beat of another drum You know you’ve arrived somewhere special when people are dancing in the rain. Every Sunday, rain or shine, the drum circle at Siesta Key Beach plays one hour before sunset. A community jam session, this weekly ritual was started by locals and has organically taken on a life of its own, attracting an eclectic group of residents wearing everything from gypsy garb to comfy pyjamas. Not only does this festive vibe include the drum circle’s percussive swell, but a local carnival troupe of whirling dancers, spectacular fire jugglers and various street performers also entertain the crowd – all for the joy of performing. Once things wrap and you’ve worked up an appetite, Siesta Key Oyster Bar (www.skob.com) awaits. With all the charms of a beloved dive/bar resto, this mom-and-pop eatery serves up serious food and fun. Listen to live music while noshing on SKOBetizers such as fried pickles, calamari and fresh raw oysters, and wash them down with their signature cocktail, The Rum Stumbler – a concoction of light and dark rum with blackberry brandy and banana liqueur, shaken with a dash of sweet grenadine and pineapple juice. Also worth trying is one of their to-die-for entrees, which includes fish tacos, indulgent five-cheese mac’ n cheese and the fresh catch of the day. And no visit to Florida is complete without a piece of house-made key lime pie. a feel-good aquarium Exciting as it is to see marine life, with recent documentaries such as Blackfish shedding light on some of the horrid abuse sea mammals endure in captivity, the last thing most people want to do is fund a potentially harmful organization. But thanks to The Aquarium at Mote Marine Laboratory (mote.org), you can get upclose-and-personal with a dolphin, manatee and sea turtle, and still sleep at night.
blind sea turtle injured by a fishing hook, and Moonshine, a young dolphin abandoned by her family. Many manatees, sea horses and numerous other sea creatures have also been protected by this unique organization. An exciting added bonus? Parents and kids alike will love the live shark exhibit and feeding that happens on select mornings. clown around Just because your kids have outgrown the circus doesn’t mean they won’t be awed by The Ringling (ringling.org) museum. Perfect for the young and young at heart, the historic landmark, once owned by John and Mable Ringling, boasts the Ca’ d’Zan mansion, fine art museum, circus museum with interactive activities, and theatre. It’s also home to the Bayfront Gardens, which show cases 66 acres of lush vegetation, roses and majestic Banyan trees. shop ‘til you drop No visit to the Other Keys is complete without a stop at St. Armande Circle, where you can while away the afternoon in a picturesque locale chock-full of high-end shops, boutiques, galleries and salons. It’s also here that you’ll find both casual and fine-dining restaurants, one of which is Shore Diner (shorebrand.com). Walk into this airy abode and you’ll feel transported to a trendy hotspot in southern California. Calling upon local growers to supply the freshest
The non-profit organization, which was founded in 1955, is an informal science education centre that features more than 100 marine species and interactive exhibits highlighting the world-class science of the Mote Marine Laboratory. Among its notable rescues and rehabilitations are Hang Tough, a
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ingredients, this resto also features its own roof-top garden where fresh herbs in hydroponic growers are cultivated. Treat yourself to some lobster sliders and comfort classics like fried chicken with creamy, cheesy potatoes while overlooking the shoppers and streets of St. Armande. sleep tight After a day of exploring, there’s nothing better than coming back to your luxurious home away from home. In Siesta Key, Lido Beach Resort (lidobeachresort.com) is a family-friendly accommodation that offers spacious suites overlooking the ocean and pool, and an award-winning Sunday Brunch, complete with a full Bloody Mary
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bar, mimosas, and “a la carte” items. An added bonus? It’s petfriendly, so feel free to bring along Fido too. The resort at Longboat Key Club (longboatkeyclub.com) Serving up opulence and elegance, The Resort at Longboat Key Club is secluded along the southern end of Longboat Key, and as the only AAA four-diamond beachfront resort in Sarasota, offers an array of amenities for the whole family. Whether you want to relax at the newly renovated spa, hit a few links at the 45-hole pro-designed golf course, take some paddleboarding lessons or get your zen on with some yoga on the beach, this resort is the place to be.
CONGRATULATIONS I n B e t w e e n M ag a z i n e o n yo u r P r e m i e r I s s u e
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Central Time on December 31, 2013 for travel by 31Aug14. Use of the Promo Code on the www.travelocity.ca Web site is subject to the Travelocity User Agreement and Privacy Policy. The Promo Code is valid only for qualifying purchases made on the Travelocity.ca website, or by calling Travelocity.ca at 800-457-8010. A qualifying purchase means a pre-paid Good Buy Hotel booking or Flight+Hotel vacation package, valued at $300Cdn or more, which is offered on the Site during the Promotion Period. This Promo Code is not valid for Pre-packaged (all-inclusive) vacations, or Top Secret Hotels, or any other products on the Travelocity.ca site not listed as a Qualifying Purchase above. To redeem the Promo Code, you simply type in INBETWEEN50 into the Promotional Code field on the Checkout Billing Page of the Site, and $50Cdn will be automatically deducted from the final price of the qualifying purchase. Customers may only redeem the Promo Code once and only during the Promotion Period. Not combinable with other promo codes. Travelocity prohibits posting the Promo Code on the Internet or any public forum, or forwarding the Promo Code to any other person. Travelocity reserves the right to change these Terms and Conditions from time to time in its sole discretion. December/January 2014 |
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relationships
home for the holidays You’ve missed them more than anything. They’ve missed having a fridge full of free food and a laundry machine that doesn’t need coins. And although you might have a laundry list of fun activities to tackle together, they may have other plans. But instead of fighting all fa-la-la-la long, here’s how to stay drama-free this festive season. By Rachel Naud
Sure, sweaters are nice and chocolate is sweet, but for many parents with college and university-aged kids, having them home for the holidays is the greatest gift of all. Between visions of long, teary embraces and late nights talking, sharing and creating memories, the unlimited possibilities for bonding are enough to make a mom swoon. Unfortunately, these Hallmark moments may be as fictional as the jolly guy in red himself, as what’s realistically going to come down the chimney – or rather through the front door – is an independent young adult who has been living by his own rules for the past few months. And he’d like to keep it that way, thank you very much. Say hello to a new dimension of parenting, where a lot of give and a bit of take are needed to make the break more fun and festive than awkward and argumentative, says Sara Dimmerman, pyschologist, author of Am I A Normal Parent? (Hatherleigh Press) and creator of HelpMeSara.com. Here are her tips for surviving the holidays, drama-free.”
get real. You’re so psyched to see your daughter that you’ve made a list and checked it twice. Got all her favourite meals planned? Check. Got a handful of holiday-inspired romcoms ready to watch? Got all the ingredients for your cookie-baking marathon? Check and check. Got your daughter? Here’s where some of the best-laid plans can go south. “Although many parents can’t wait to see their children and anticipate hours of family time catching up, that doesn’t always happen,” says Dimerman. “Along with coming home to see you, they’ll also want to visit their friends in the area. This can lead to disappointment and hurt feelings because your child is not spending as much time with you as hoped.” To avoid feeling ditched, Dimerman suggests making a plan before your child even arrives. Ask her to pick two nights and put them aside for the two of you. Any extra will be icing on that gingerbread house you bought for the two of you to put together.
establish boundaries. Just because your son is used to partying until
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3 a.m. doesn’t mean you want him coming home that late – especially if you have to work the next day. But, give him a hard-and-fast curfew and he may feel like you’re treating him like a baby and rebel anyway. This is why Dimerman suggests setting boundaries like adults. “Sit down and acknowledge your child in a fair, logical manner,” she says. “Explain that him coming home so late isn’t conducive to your lifestyle, and that it disturbs your sleep. Then work to establish a time that works well for both of you.”
pick your battles. Yes, it may drive you crazy when your daughter doesn’t put her dirty dishes in the dishwasher or leaves her bed a mess, but is it really worth fighting about? Do your best to let the small things slide, but inform her of your messy dealbreakers – whether it’s when she leaves wet towels on the floor or dirty dishes on the coffee table – and do so with a kind approach. The rest of it? Don’t sweat it, advises Dimerman. “Although you don’t want to tip-toe around your child, you also don’t want to get too caught up in it. After all, they’re only home for a short time. You want to make it a pleasant holiday.”
cut scene, drama queen. Having your child move away has its ups and downs. For some, the transition is very difficult and may evoke periods of sadness and depression, while for others the mere thought of increased freedom can cause outright jubilee. Whatever spectrum of the scale you sit at, don’t be overly dramatic about it. “Try not to say things like ‘I’m so glad you’re home. It’s just terrible being here without you.’ You don’t want to put that on your child,” says Dimerman. Instead, if the topic comes up, simply relay your joy that your child is enjoying their program and that although it is an adjustment not having them home, everything is fine. Conversely, even if you finally have room for that treadmill you’ve been eyeing, don’t rush and turn their bedroom into a home gym. “Keep their room as intact as possible,” says Dimerman. “You don’t want them to feel like you renovated the space and made it your own the minute they left for university. After all, you want them to feel like they’re still coming home.”
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Kathryn and Lizzie are wearing the Joan of Arctic Wedge and Slimpack Riding boot.
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romance
RehabYour Romance
Tired of the same old, same old? Bust out of your dating rut with these tips. By Liz Bruckner
get out of town
Taking in new experiences together can do much to strengthen a couples’ connection, so venture out of town,” says dating and lifestyle coach Kat Spiwack of DatingEssentials.com. See what another city has to offer and spend the day exploring its farmer’s market, perusing antique shops and local museums. When the day is done, stroll the streets for a casual dinner at a quaint bistro and cap it all off by taking in a show at a local community theatre. play like a kid
Weather permitting, bundle up and head to your local ski or toboggan hill for a day of whipping down the slopes. Afterwards, warm up together under a cozy blanket with a hot cup of cocoa. Call it a night in with a romantic movie you both love, and keep things relaxed by ordering in pizza or Chinese.
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romance
take a class
Even if you’re a Jill of all trades, consider signing the two of you up for a cooking, baking, wine-tasting or yoga class. Not only will the experience give your partner an opportunity to explore pastimes you enjoy, but having the chance to be there as he learns to Downward Dog for the first time will be priceless. get adventerous
Volunteering yourselves for activities that reach outside the norm can be a great bonding tactic – and it may even help reveal a love for adrenaline rushes in the process. Write down a list of activities that make you nervous, such as whitewater rafting, zip-lining, rock climbing or mountain biking, and choose one you’ll undertake together. “Without a doubt, two of the best date memories I have with my fiancé are when we rode rollercoasters all afternoon one day, and canoed down the Humber River another night at dusk,” says Spiwack. “I wouldn’t have thought they’d stick out so much in my mind, but the fact that they were so different is what made them so fun and memorable.” fight the fizzle
Spiwack says that after years of focusing on work, kids and life – on top of not spending enough time together – it’s very normal that couples feel romantically parched. “I see a lot of partners disconnected and out of sync with each other once kids enter the picture because parents tend to put their relationship lower on the list of priorities, which can lead to resentment over time.” The good news: Once kids reach their teens and show more signs of independence, finding leisure time together is easier, she says. “The first step toward an improved relationship is open communication and a true desire to bridge the gap. That means asking your partner what they need, listening without judgement, and expressing your own needs. If there’s consistency in meeting each other’s needs along with flexibility and compromise, becoming close again is a definite possibility.”
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cover story
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cover story
WORDS TO THE WISE When it comes to raising teens, décor diva Debbie Travis has been there, done that...and has written all about it. In Not Guilty: My Guide to Working Hard, Raising Kids and Laughing Through the Chaos, Travis shares how she juggled family life and a blossoming career – all with her sanity intact. By Dana Dougherty Reinke
Picture it. It’s the day before you’re headed to Italy to both work and vacation with your family. Your bags are packed, your spouse is already there and you’re frantically running around Urban Outfitters, trying to get your two teenage sons to stop messing around for long enough to buy some jeans for the trip. Suddenly the phone rings. It’s Oprah and she wants you to be on her show next week! The woman behind the desk turns down the music, the moms around you are whispering “Oh my God! It’s Oprah!” and all the while your sons keep throwing punches at each other – because that’s what boys do. Travis immediately called her publisher who told her to drop everything; she called the TV station and they said, “Absolutely! Go, pretend you don’t have children!” And just as the impossible seemed possible, reality showed up courtesy of Debbie’s husband. After making a quick call to him in Italy, where he was already filming for her show, The Debbie Travis Tuscany Girls’ Getaway,Debbie had her bubble burst. “Listen, I’m here and I’ve already started work!” he said. “Get on the plane! If the Americans want you, they’ll want you next week, you next week!” And so Travis did what she had to do. She said no. Travis did what she had to do. She said no, because ultimately her family had to come first. Did she like it? Of course not. Did she glare at her kids in the rearview mirror as they threw punches at each other in the backseat and think “if only I didn’t
have kids, if only I was single again…”? Absolutely. She also felt incredibly guilty about it. But then, she is a mom.
school trip because they did something wrong, then they didn’t go. We never smoothed that kind of thing over.”
extra-ordinary life
She also makes no apologies for taking charge when she had to. As the mother of two teenage boys, she was the organizer, the disciplinarian, the main parent much of the time and yes, occasionally (especially when enforcing curfews) even the ‘worst mother in the world.’ In her own words, “I am a screamer, threatener, destroyer of any fun times,” says Travis. “I am the mom.”
In many ways, Travis’ family life is pretty glamorous I mean, Italy? Oprah? Come on. But while her career as a Canadian television star and lifestyle guru has allowed her sons Josh, 25, and Max, 24, to travel the world with their parents, look past all that and you’ll find a pretty average mom with a very pragmatic parenting style that could even be described as old school. While her sons were young she did what most working moms do – tried as much as she could to be there for her boys, including moving her design office two blocks from home. When her sons were teenagers, Travis and her husband, Hans, lived across the street from their school and strove to make home a place where their kids felt comfortable hanging out. The couple would banish themselves to their bedroom while the boys partied downstairs, even going so far as to buy a case of beer for them to share with their friends (and letting the other parents know), in an effort to balance being there for their sons with allowing them freedom to make mistakes. That’s not to say her sons had it easy. Travis describes herself as being quite strict. “We were always on the teacher’s side, not on theirs,” she says. “Boys can be idiots! So if they were banned from a
a new chapter One of the TV star’s most vivid mom memories is of standing at the bottom of her stairs counting to three while yelling at her then-18-year-old son, Max, to go to his room. The battle waged on until Travis used the most powerful weapon in her arsenal — the look. (You know the one). It was enough to make Max jump from the dinner table and run upstairs — but not before the towering six-foot-tall teen smirked and patted her head on his way up. Travis says she wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry, although crying eventually won out. “All those years of ‘take your elbows off the table!’ and correcting, it does sink in! I felt like I’d done something right, but at the same time I felt sad because I knew a chapter was closing.” It’s these kind of frank admissions – that she too has danced that fine line between
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cracking up laughing and just plain cracking up – that make Travis so relatable and such a refreshing resource to parents of teenaged children. Her book Not Guilty: My Guide to Working Hard, Raising Kids and Laughing Through the Chaos (Vintage Canada, 2008) isn’t definitive parenting doctrine — it’s just the story of how one woman got through the inevitable tough times while she savoured all the lovely moments too. Her recommendation for weathering the storms? A good sense of humour and a stubborn streak that will help you match them every step of the way. “Treat them like the enemy. Strategize and be cleverer than they are, and never take your eyes off the ball!”
juggling act “I come from the first real generation of career women, and it is not easy juggling your job with all that a family needs,” she says. Several years ago Travis did a speaking engagement in Winnipeg about her everyday life. At one point a woman in the audience stood up and asked how Travis could juggle her work and children and still have the energy to get up every day. Then she, and most of the other women in the room, started to cry. Watching her audience cry out of the frustration that comes with trying to have it all eventually caused Travis to hang up her paintbrush for a while and write Not Guilty. In it, she shares her tips on raising a family and having a successful career, which includes fostering a strong network of friends who you can sit down with at the end of the day and vent. Another key to surviving the teen years? Giving yourself permission to have a meltdown every now and then.
quality time Travis insists that one of the main reasons she has an extremely close relationship with her sons is due to the lack of technology when her boys were small. “If it was dinner time, there was no cellphone sitting on my lap. There probably would have been if I would have had it then, but because I didn’t, I was talking to my kids. “She also emphasizes the importance of sharing your day with children, especially young ones, so they understand why and how you deal with daily situations. “As a working mother it is about the quality of the time you spend with them,” she says. “Be with them 100 per cent when you are all together.”
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learning from experience Unlike many parenting experts out there, Travis draws on her own experience to back up her message and she’s not afraid to admit her mistakes. If she could, Travis says she’d head back in time to when Josh and Max were teens and offer herself some sage advice. “Stop screaming and stop feeling guilty. There is no point – your kids will be who they are going to be. Just love them.” In her book, Travis’ own sons insisted on going on record about what a great mom she is, writing “…You prepared us for the world by making us learn from our mistakes and giving endless hugs. You made us who we are. A good parent is not defined by their perfection but rather their imperfection. So Mum, never feel guilty for not always getting it right and often losing it. We love you anyway. -- Your naughty boys, Josh and Max” While it’s very likely that Travis would be the first to admit she isn’t a perfect parent, the fact that her sons acknowledge her bang-up job is pretty telling. It also offers a ray of hope to parents in the thick of raising teenagers and young adults. Because isn’t that what we’re all hoping for, anyway?
Travis’ 5 rules for raising teens 1. Treat them like the enemy. Recognize that this
is your child and not your friend, because he’ll use you in every possible way to get what he wants. Try to be one step ahead at all times. “Be smarter than they are,” she says. “We were teens once; the tricks they play are pretty much the same.” 2. Rules are rules. If you tell him he has to be home
by 11 p.m., then you have to mean it and be willing to follow through with the consequences if he’s not, Travis says. 3. Humiliate when necessary. If you see your
teenager smoking in a park, don’t let it go. Do what Travis would do and march over to him in your pyjamas and demand he stop. Sometimes mortifying him is all it takes to nip a filthy habit in the bud. 4. Get tough with homework. Homework is the
bane of many a parent’s existence, but if your child doesn’t want to do it and you give in, she’s the one who ultimately pays the price by failing the exam. Travis recommends setting an alarm and saying, “Ok, you have two hours. Knuckle down.” 5. Establish some downtime. Put away the
cellphones, make the table a laptop-free zone or do whatever it takes to just sit and talk to your kids. If you can’t have dinner together, go for a walk once a week or play a board game. Sounds cheesy but it works.
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teen talk
THE STRAIGHT TALK ON STIs Sexually active youngins have more
to worry about than pregnancy these days. With sexually transmitted infections in the 13-24 age group continually on the rise, knowing how to talk to your kids about education, prevention, and, yes, even coping tactics is key. By Rachel Naud
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teen talk
Years ago, “the talk” meant having a brief conversation about the birds and the bees. Sex was discussed in context of love, partnership and how babies were made. End of story. Today, however, “the talk” should be reaching a whole new, uncomfortable-to-discuss level – one that includes the nitty gritty on sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Why? Because according to recent stats, teens and young adults are far from informed on the topic of sexual health.
let’s talk about STIs A 2013 study conducted for the makers of Trojan Condoms and The Sex Information and Education Council of Canada (SIECCAN) surveyed 1,500 university students across Canada and discovered that of the 72 per cent of students engaging in sexual intercourse within the past year, only about half (51 per cent) reported using a condom. More surprisingly is the fact that although 34 per cent described their most recent sexual encounter as a ‘hook-up, booty call or involving friends with benefits’, there is a lack of concern surrounding contracting an STI. A whopping 56 per cent of students reported not being concerned with catching an STI and, moreover, 56 per cent reported that they were not aware that human papillomavirus (HPV) is the most common sexually transmitted infection in Canada. “Rates of sexually transmitted infection are high in the young adult age group, so the results of this study show that there remains much more work to do in terms of encouraging young people to better protect themselves against not only unwanted pregnancy, but especially STIs,” suggests Alex McKay, Ph.D and research coordinator at SIECCAN.
STI conversation star ter Talking about sex to your kids can be painfully awkward for both parties, so to lighten the mood, Kelly Moroz, child psychologist and director of the Moroz Child Psychology in Calgary, says the best way to start a conversation about STIs is with a little white lie. “Talk about an issue you’ve heard of or read about without mentioning any specific
names. Or simply make up someone with a sexual situation to open the door to talk,” says Moroz. “I can’t tell you the amount of topics – be it sex, personal hygiene, or whatever – that go better for everyone when you use a fake person as an example. Everyone is more OK talking about a person they don’t know.”
be graphic Remember all those gory Driver’s Ed videos and images of reckless drivers ramming head-first into cars and into poles? Hard as they may have been to watch, chances are it was enough to get you to buckle up. The same theory can apply to chatting about STIs, says Moroz. “In some ways it’s easier to talk about sexually transmitted diseases than actual sex because diseases can be put more scientifically,” he says. “It removes emotion from the situation, allowing an easier conversation about what the disease is and how it affects you.” He suggests being honest and graphic about the physical symptoms of STIs such as itching, burning and oozing, because these types of discussions can occur without any threat attached to it. “You can present the information in an educational way that tends to work for parents and resonates with kids.” And should all else fail, call on your computer – more specifically, on Google Images – for help. Moroz says it’s important that parents push through feeling uncomfortable or grossed out because this conversation can change their child’s lives. “Planning over panic is always the solution,” says Moroz. “If you logically prepare for what is going to happen, it increases the odds of the right outcome.”
coping with STIs Teens or young adults who have contracted an STI can experience more than a hit to their health. “This is the time in their life where every emotion is so heightened,” says Moroz. “Something like this can be traumatic for them.” The best way to handle news that they’ve developed an STI? First, don’t fly off the handle with a spontaneous “You what?!” (or worse), and second, reassure and
validate your child and their worries. “Just doing this alone is enough to encourage discussion,” says Moroz. Next, thank them for trusting you enough to open up about such a personal problem. Once you’ve discussed the issue and talked about their symptoms, be the one to accompany them to a clinic or doctor. Pay attention while health professionals educate your child about dealing with their infection now and in the future, and when you get home, try to offer quiet support instead of lecturing them about what just happened. “Tell them they did the right thing by coming to you,” says Moroz, “and show them you mean it. Think about how you want to come across. The last thing you want to do is seem like you don’t have any empathy or that you’re using the moment to lecture.” Lastly: When the conversation ends, take their secret to the grave. “Be that person who your child knows they can trust to get them through any tough situation – no matter what it is.”
SEX STATS •
According to a Stats Canada study “Sexual behaviour and condom use of 15- to 24-year-olds in 2003 and 2009/2010”, two-thirds of 15to 24-year-olds have had sexual intercourse at least once; a third of the age group had first done so when they were younger than 17.
•
According to the same Stats Can study, condom use was lower in Quebec and Manitoba, and higher in Ontario, Alberta, Northwest Territories and Nunavut.
•
According to the Public Health Agency of Canada, in 2010, reported rates of chlamydia and gonorrhoea were highest in the 20-24 age group.
•
A 2010 study of students at a Canadian university found that HPV was present in over 50 per cent among both sexes.
•
The Canadian Health Measures Survey indicates that approximately six per cent of people aged 14 to 34 have genital herpes.
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gift guide
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gift guide
wrap it up! 32 Sizzling, Surprising, Surefire Gift Ideas for the Holidays By Jaaron Collins
If there’s one thing teens and 20somethings have, it’s their own taste, which can make finding the perfect present nothing short of a Christmas miracle. But since there’s nothing better than the warm and fuzzy feeling that follows giving a gift they’ll actually like, we’ve done the grunt work to unearth the newest, coolest, mostlikely-to-be-wanted-by-teens-andYAs prezzies. Rest assured: No matter your budget, this bumper crop of goods is sure to please.
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gift guide
g n i k c o t S tuffers s love necklace, $20 Happiness is being surrounded by love – or in this case, having it around your neck. Available in gold or silver, it goes without saying that she’ll remember you every time she wears it. Buy: indigo.ca
etival laboratoire homme facial treatment, $13 and up Packing a onetwo punch, this line will nourish and protect his skin, not only from daily wear and exposure, but against shaving and unpredictable seasonal temperatures too. Buy: Shoppers Drug Mart
sweater-knit pillar candle $8 Perfect for cozying up any dorm room, this candle has the look and feel of their favourite cable-knit sweater. Buy: indigo.ca
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“mosquito bites” by lara hyde, $14 Fourteen-year-old Selma Pavelchuk is a flat-out geek. Then she bonds with Jodie, the prettiest girl in school, and goes from being a nobody to, well, the popular girl’s best friend. Amidst turbulent female friendship, first crushes, a summer week at the cottage and a whole lot of embarrassment, Hyde manages to perfectly capture the mindset of teen girls, and offers real, connectable situations. Verdict: Two thumbs way up. Buy: chapters.ca
gift guide
cake beauty un-sweetened velveteen hand crème, $18
“the rule of thirds” by chantel guertin, $10
Specially formulated for sensitive skin, this cream smells and feels so good, it comes with one caveat: There’s no guarantee it will last long. Choose from additional scents such as Toasted Vanilla or Shea Butter. Buy: cakebeauty.com, Sephora, Murale Stores
Sixteen-year-old Pippa Greene is a budding photographer juggling two potential love interests, a changing relationship with her aspiring model best friend and a mandatory placement as a hospital candy striper. All this and she’s also trying to work through the loss of her father. Not your average YA novel, it’s ideal for readers who love smart writing, true-to-life situations and a good love triangle. Buy: indigo.ca/amazon.ca
quo all about eyes palette, $22 Crafting the perfect festive face is entirely possible with this limited-edition palette. Buy: Shoppers Drug Mart
j± dancing water speaker, $19 starbucks pour-over gift set, $20 Once he owns this single-serve manual brewing system – which comes complete with a mug and pour-over cone – he’ll not only get an individual jolt of java, he’ll also be able to stay awake during those allnighters, thanks to you. Buy: starbucksstore.com
The perfect gift for your party starter, this compact sound booth connects to most cellphones, emitting colourful lights to the beat of the music. It’s also compact and lightweight, and easily stowed in the smallest of bags. Buy: Loblaws; www.superstore.ca.
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gift guide
& 0 5 $ er d n U
phonesoap charger, $50 Newsflash: Cellphones pack more bacteria than a public toilet. Now that that image is burned into your brain, we’d like to introduce you to PhoneSoap, which charges and sanitizes phones simultaneously. Five minutes is all it takes to be grime-free. Buy: phonesoap.com
gas bar dispenser, $30
winners trapper hat, $50 While he may not be a self-described hipster, this stylish and warm hat may be enough to sway him. Buy: Winners
jewel and chain cuff, $39 A cross between a bracelet and wrist bling, this edgy cuff easily transitions from day to night, and works as well in a group of accessories as it does on its own. Buy: indigo.ca
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Part functional liquid dispenser, part conversation starter, this accessory will have your dorm dweller adding instant charm to his abode. Buy: Canadian Tire
gift guide
winners statement necklace, $30
micro pedi man, $50
The eye-catching hues are reason enough to covet this stunner, but when you realize how affordable it is to boot? Run, friends, don’t walk. Buy: Winners
Whether he admits it or not, he really does want presentable feet. This pocket-size buffer can help. With its compact size, it’s also great for travel. Buy: micropedi.ca and Shoppers Drug Mart
nella bella/cake beauty metallic wristlet and hand creme trio, $30 The holiday-inspired scents alone should be enough to win her over – Milk Made, Desserted Island and Vanilla Cashmere, anyone? And the versatile metallic wristlet? Icing on the cake. Buy: cakebeauty.com, Sephora, Murale stores
isound 2-in-1 sound kit, $30 A headphone and earbud combo kit, this little beauty offers clear, full sound with widerange sensitivity from any audio device with standard headphone jacks. Buy: walmart.ca
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gift guide
& 0 0 1 $ er d n U
litehawk quattro multi-rotor, $100 In the “one gift fits all” category for men, remote control helicopters rise to the top. With the ability to perform aerobatic maneuvers with ease, this self-leveling, agile version is a standout. Buy: litehawk.ca
winners designer floral tray, $60 Upgrade the banged-up tray she currently has buried somewhere in her apartment cupboards to this pretty, grownup, party-ready version. Buy: Winners
dermalogica active moist holiday kit, $73 disco ball dress, $99 With this festive frock, she’ll be ready to count down the New Year in style. Buy: minkpink.com
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A standout line amongst beauty veterans, Dermalogica is good to skin. This kit uses botanicals and antioxidants vitamins to boost skin’s moisture balance, while also improving its texture and tone. Buy: dermalogica.ca
gift guide
elizabeth grant caviar nutruriche day/night crème, $80 For She Who Babies Her Skin, this crème uses caviar extract to smooth and lighten complexions, while also employing strong moisturizers that use active ingredients to rejuvenate skin all day long. Buy: elizabethgrant.com
apple magic trackpad, $75
mustard skinny tie, $73
Your technology buff will relish being able to use gestures to control his Mac’s Magic Trackpad. Made with smooth, water-resistant glass and Bluetooth technology. Buy: apple.com/ca
Better warn his standby black and grey striped ties: This edgy version is about to become the new favourite. Buy: etsy.com/shop/aprillookshop
sony waterproof mp3 (nwz-w273), $100 Wire-free and waterproof, this MP3 player lets you turn on tunes almost anywhere. The best part: The earbuds are all but guaranteed to stay in place. Buy: Canadian Tire
brave leather gordic belt, $100 For the fashion fiend, the belt collector or someone who just loves quality Canadian goods, this chic cut-out style is a must. Buy: braveleather.ca
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gift guide
l i o p S m e h t apple tv, $109 Perfect for movie nights in at the dorm, this small but mighty entertainment unit enables users to tune in to a world of movies, music, TV shows, and much more in 1080p HD live or on demand. Buy: apple.com/ca
slimpack riding boots, $230
nike+ fuelband, $149 Gauging caloric expulsion just got easier with NIKE+ Fuelband. Users can track workout intensity and calorie burn while also keeping an eye on the time and the number of daily steps they’ve taken. Bluetooth enables sync capabilities with your mobile device or computer for maximum ease of use. Buy: nike.com/ca
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These equestrian-style boots not only keep feet dry, they look great with a dress or over skinny jeans. Buy: sorel.com
gift guide
casio, hugo boss and diesel watches, $130, $135 and $420 Wrist accessories aren’t just for the ladies. Among other features, Casio’s G-Shock XLG offers embossed indexes for a 3-D look as well as an auto calendar, Hugo Boss’ Orange is classically elegant and water resistant for up to 50 metres, and Diesel’s Daddy Radar is made with an ion-plated stainless steel and offers crazy cool radar-inspired tracking. Buy: watchit.ca
contour roam 2 hd camera, $270 Mount this lightweight video camera on a helmet, bike or ski to capture every moment of your extreme athlete’s gnarly tricks. Buy: canadiantire.ca
hp slate 7 tablet, $170 For offspring who must have the coolest gadgets first, we introduce a tablet that offers Beats Audio in a light, portable package. Available with a sleek silver or red back panel with threemegapixel and VGA cameras. Buy: hp.ca
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buying guide
buying guide
WATCH AD
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health & nutrition
REAL MEALS Listen: Nobody wants their kid living off frozen pizza and processed macaroni coated with fluorescent cheese. That’s why we’ve sourced three easy recipes that teens will not only enjoy cooking, but will love to eat, too. By Cory Cambridge
food for thought Studies show that time spent cooking boosts a teen’s selfesteem, imbues a better body image and can even help their grades.
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Whether they’re new to high school or about to fly the coop, establishing good dietary and cooking habits in your young adult is key for a healthy present and future. Problem is, meal prep can be intimidating – especially when kids are used to Mom always providing dinner.
Sandi Richard
The solution: Low-maintenance meals that taste great. Enter Sandi Richard, a leading meal-planning expert, the host of Fixing Dinner on Food Network Canada, bestselling author of the Cooking for the Rushed series, and most impressively, a mother of seven.
assigning one night a week for them to cook is a great start,” she says. The best part: In doing this, teens not only gain their own repertoire of meals, it exposes them to an incredible variety of culinary options. Richard suggests teens start with easy main courses and build from there. She also advises that parents save their critiques. “When your teen feels a sense of pride in pulling off a seemingly gourmet meal, it’s a big step toward them developing a love for cooking. Do what you can to build their confidence in one specialty, and you’ll be surprised at how fast they become excited to master others.”
“For teenagers, independence is everything. They’re spreading their wings and want to be seen as an adult, so this is the perfect opportunity for parents to capitalize on their willingness to do things on their own. Cooking is just one of the ways they can feel more responsible, and
With that in mind, Richard suggests working the following simple and tasty meals into your dinner rotation to both build their confidence in the kitchen, and to help you rest easy knowing they’ll be able to cook nutritious, delicious meals once they leave the nest.
health & nutrition
instructions Serves: 6 Prep time: 15 minutes Dinner is ready in: 30 minutes
CHEESEBURGER SOUP
ingredients 1 tsp olive oil, extra-virgin 1 onion 2 celery ribs 1 lb ground beef, extra-lean 1 tbsp Italian seasoning 1/4 tsp fresh ground pepper 1/4 tsp – 1/2 tsp hot chili flakes (optional) 3 bay leaves 1 can Italian or chili stewed tomatoes (14 fl oz or 400 mL) 1 tomato can filled with water 1 can consomme (10 fl oz or 284 mL) 1 consomme can filled with water 1 jar tomato pasta sauce (24 fl oz or 680 mL) (choose a lower sodium brand) 3 cups frozen mixed veggies 1/2 cup sharp cheddar cheese, light, grated Fresh buns or focaccia bread (optional) Leftover pasta (optional)
The night before... 1. Heat oil in a large non-stick frying pan on medium heat. Sliver onion, adding to the pan as you cut. Finely chop celery, adding to the pan as you cut. Sautée until onion turns slightly brown. Remove from heat. Add to slow cooker. Reduce heat slightly on the unwashed frying pan. Form tiny pancake burgers (approximately 1 1/2” in diameter and 1/4” thick) in the palm of your hand and brown on both sides. Once browned, add to slow cooker. 2. While the burgers are browning, add the following ingredients to your slow cooker: spice, bay leaves, stewed tomatoes, consomme, water from both cans, pasta sauce and mixed veggies. Stir to combine. Refrigerate overnight. 3. In the morning, set the slow cooker at low heat. Simmer all day. 4. When you’re ready to eat, serve with fresh buns or focaccia and a bowl of grated cheddar cheese at the table.
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health & nutrition
Serves: 4-6 Prep time: 15 minutes Dinner is ready in: 60 minutes
instructions
ingredients
CHICKEN PARMESAN
WITH PASTA AND ITALIAN VEGGIES
4 boneless skinless chicken breasts, or 10 thighs (1 1/2 lbs or 675 g) 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese, light, grated 1 can tomato pasta sauce (24 floz or 680 mL) (choose a lower sodium brand) 1 1/2 cups mozzarella cheese, part-skim, shredded 2 tbsp Parmesan cheese, light, grated Aluminum foil
fresh veggies (use those below or any leftovers you have) 1 cup baby carrots 1 cup grape tomatoes 1 English cucumber 5 mushrooms 1/8 red onion (optional) 2 tbsp Italian dressing, light
pasta 3 cups penne pasta 1 tsp basil leave 1 tsp olive oil, extra-virgin
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1. Preheat oven to 375º F. Place chicken breasts in a large lasagna or cake pan. Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese. Pour pasta sauce evenly over the top. Cover with aluminum foil and place in preheated oven. Set timer for 35 minutes. 2. Rinse baby carrots and grape tomatoes. Place in a salad bowl. Rinse, then slice cucumber into chunks adding to salad bowl as you cut. Rinse, then quarter mushrooms adding to bowl as you cut. Cut onion into small chunks and add to bowl. Drizzle with dressing and toss to coat. Set aside in fridge for dinner or serve as an appetizer. 3. When the timer rings for the chicken, leave it in the oven. The timer was just to remind you it’s time to start cooking the pasta. (Chicken cooks for about 55 minutes.) Fill a large stove-top pot with water and bring to a boil for pasta. Add pasta to boiling water. Set timer for 11 minutes or follow package directions. When the timer rings for the pasta, rinse it in a colander under hot water. Return to pot and toss with basil and olive oil. 4. Remove chicken from oven and sprinkle cheeses over top. Return to oven and reset timer for 5 minutes or until cheese is melted. Serve chicken on top of pasta or on the side.
health & nutrition
instructions
ingredients Serves: 4-6 Prep time: 20 minutes Dinner is ready in: 30 minutes
THAI CHICKEN WRAPS
These recipes and more can be found in Sandi Richard’s cookbook, Anyone Can Cook Dinner: Cooking for the Rushed (Scribner).
1 tsp sesame oil 3 chicken breasts, boneless, skinless (1 lb or 450 g) 1/4 lb or 113 g rice stick or vermicelli noodles Boiling water
thai wrap sauce 1/4 cup peanut butter, light 1/2 cup sweet Thai chili sauce (for a less spicy version, replace with Catalina salad dressing) 1 tsp ginger, ground 1 tsp fresh garlic (from a jar) 2 tsp lime juice 2 tsp rice vinegar (can be seasoned) 2 tsp soy sauce, reduced-sodium 1/4 head green leaf lettuce or bagged lettuce 2 large carrots (Now you can find these already cut julienne style!) 1/2 English cucumber 1 red bell pepper 1/2 lb or 225 g bean sprouts (optional) 6 whole wheat or flour tortillas, 10�(choose a lower sodium brand)
1. Fill a kettle with water and bring to a boil on high heat for noodles. 2. Heat oil in a large nonstick electric or stove-top frying pan on medium heat. Cut chicken into small bite-size pieces, adding to the pan as you cut. Stir until meat is no longer pink. Cover and remove from heat. 3. Place noodles in a small pot and completely cover with boiling water from the kettle. Set timer according to package instructions (about 3-5 minutes). When timer rings for the noodles, drain in a colander and rinse under very cold water. Set aside. 4. Meanwhile, soften peanut butter in the microwave for 10 seconds in a microwave-safe bowl. Whisk in sweet chili sauce, ginger powder, garlic, lime juice, rice vinegar, soy sauce, and sweet chili sauce. Set aside. 5. Rinse lettuce in basket of salad spinner and spin dry. Peel carrots and cut into tiny, long narrow sticks or use a julienne peeler. Rinse cucumber and do the same. Rinse and sliver red pepper. Rinse bean sprouts. 6. Lay tortillas on plate. Layer with lettuce and noodles. Add chicken, then drizzle with Thai Wrap Sauce. Top with cut carrots, cucumber, red pepper and bean sprouts. December/January 2014 |
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anecdotes
If I Knew Then advice from parents who’ve been there By Gail Vaz-Oxlade
I never thought I’d be a mother. There are some women who instinctively know motherhood is for them. Not me. It took my third husband – the consummate salesman – to talk me into parenthood. And I’m not going to lie: When I did it, I didn’t mess around.
seemed like the fights were getting bigger and the spaces between the arguments shorter. I’d once had an aunt tell me the trick to raising teenagers was to bite your tongue. So I’d bite and bite and bite some more. And then I’d blast.
“You can’t drop biology,” became, “If you drop biology, how will that affect what you want to do after high school?” and “You’re too sick to go to the music festival,” became, “Are you also going to school tomorrow morning?”
Right from the start I was great at teaching. I was great at cooking. I was great at fun. On the days when my kids didn’t want to eat breakfast, I made chocolate-peanut butter cake and served it up with a glass of milk and some fruit. Bam! Yeah, those early years were easy-peasy.
We were driving in the car one day when I said, “I feel redundant.” There was a long silence as I tried to understand why the little girl who had needed me up until what seemed like last week now wanted me to shut the hell up. That’s when she turned to me and said, “Mom, I know this is going to be very hard for you, and I’m going to help you as much as I can, but you’ve got to get a life. This one is mine.”
The decisions she made were hers. I had to learn to let her make them and live with the natural consequences. All I could do to help was offer her ways to see the issues she was dealing with in a different light – one she might not have thought about because of her lack of maturity. Ultimately, though, it was her life.
Not so with the tween years. When my daughter, Alex, turned 12, she was a feisty little thing. Bright enough for high school, she had all the characteristics I knew she would need to be a strong, independent and self-assured woman, but parenting that kind of self-determination was a killer. We struggled. It felt like our fabulous relationship was being destroyed by her unwillingness to listen and my need to keep on top of whatever was coming next. We fought a lot. Over things little and big. We fought over her disgustingly messy room. We fought over my need for her to perform scholastically to her potential. It
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get a life? i had a life. what was she talking about? It took almost two years of continued battling before I actually got the message; I had absolutely no control over my daughter’s life. In reality, I don’t have control over a lot of things. Control, it turns out, is only an illusion. So I swapped my urge to tell her what to do for a litany of questions designed to help her work through what she needed to think about before making a decision.
Today, I’m incredibly proud of my baby girl and how well she turned out. At 20 years old, she’s more willing to seek my advice than she ever was as a tween or teen. I’m also proud that I learned my lesson well. Turns out I don’t have to have all the answers – the questions work just fine! Gail Vaz-Oxlade is the host of ‘Til Debt Do U$ Part, Prince$$, and Money Moron. Gail blogs daily at her website, gailvazoxlade. com. Her books include Debt-Free Forever, Easy Money, Never Too Late, Money-Smart Kids, It’s Your Money and Money Rules, all published by HarperCollins Canada.
buying guide
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