When Seasons Change in Relationships

When Seasons Change in Relationships by Jody Johnston Pawel, LSW, CFLE

Every season has a reason, a special beauty, and a special gift it brings. Relationships do too.

Every relationship goes through changes, just as many trees go through changes each season. You and your relationships aren’t meant to be static and unchanging, but to grow and evolve.

Yet, when relationships or others change, it can feel like a failure. We needn’t take it personal, however, if we look for the reason, beauty, and gift each relationship brings or has brought. By doing so, the life cycle of a relationship reveals a process that unfolds, revealing another step on your path to greater self-growth, for your highest good.

There are many kinds of relationships and life cycles, and each reveals its special reason, beauty, and gift, if we only look beneath the surface, beyond circumstances and personalities.

Think about someone you met only once, but you connected with so quickly that it made an impression on you. Remembering that person now, today, you still smile. These folks are like visitors from our spiritual community, briefly touching us to remind us we aren’t alone on this earthly journey. Though brief, sometimes that brush of a touch can be profound.

These earth angels remind us that we are always connected to others, even if they aren’t meant to be part of our daily lives. While we often wish we could stay close to them, fate has other plans, so we feel grateful for what we had, however brief. It’s nothing personal.

When relationships have shallow roots, they may last a long time but be superficial, like acquaintances you don’t know well. While not a close relationship, it doesn’t mean that person isn’t important. Smiling and saying “Hi” reminds us we are on this journey together, but don’t necessarily have lessons to learn from each other. When the winds of change blow, these relationships may fade away without much notice or sense of loss. We often still remember with a smile what was.

Some relationships grow deeper, but are there for just a season, often to serve a particular reason. Maybe you needed a friend during a rough time. Or when you met someone you were in one place (physically, emotionally, spiritually), but now you are in a different place and the relationship no longer feels like a good fit or no longer serves your highest good. Or maybe circumstances changed that were out of your control. When these relationships end, you may feel sad, are able to lovingly let them go, because it feels right for each person to move on.

Other deep relationships last long enough to bear luscious fruit, like a big old oak tree might. As each person grows and changes, however, they can grow apart or feel like each isn’t getting the sunshine or rain it needs due to over-crowding in the forest. It can be hard for each person to grow in the direction they are being led while still staying connected.

When this happens, people sometimes choose to pull back and make the relationship more superficial, or transplant themselves somewhere that’s better for their growth, with or without staying connected to the other person. When others do this suddenly, without obvious cause or an explanation, it can be confusing and hurtful. Unfortunately, many people don’t know how to handle these kinds of feelings openly and honestly or might not even understand themselves well enough to explain it.

Just know, these changes are always about growth and the paths people choose on their journey. If they leave the relationship, it’s not about you, so don’t take it personal, even if they try to make it so. You can still gain the lesson, the blessing, the gifts, and savor the beauty the relationship once had.

When relationships have deep roots, especially over many years, like with family or life partners, they are serving a very special divine purpose in our lives. Often, we are there to learn big life lessons from each other or to fulfill an unspoken soul contract. Sometimes you grow together and as you learn your lessons the relationship changes for the better. Other times the changes can tear you apart. When these deeper relationships decline or die, it can be very painful and sad. It can take time to grieve the loss. Remembering and being grateful for what you learned from the relationship can make it easier to release it in love and use it for growth.

It’s important to remember that relationships always reflect who we are back to us, so we tend to choose people who reflect what we want to see in ourselves. Sometimes we realize that’s not what we really want, that’s not who they really are, or we grow and evolve but they don’t.

That’s okay because healthy trees don’t grow entwined, dependent on the other person’s root system. They stand strong on their own, reaching out to others to give and get support, protection, shade, or to share its fruit. Each is reaching for the sky, taking a unique path. It’s not for us to judge another’s path or choices, but to focus on our own self-growth.

These are the times it is helpful to recognize that what we judge in others is often what needs healed in us. That doesn’t mean if you judge someone to be rude and hurtful you are rude and hurtful. It might mean, though, that in your past others have been rude and hurtful to you and this person’s conduct reminds you of that hurt, which needs healed.

By looking at the people and circumstances of our relationships from a perspective of non-judgment and see that whatever is not in alignment with Joy and Inner Peace is what healed, we can more easily find the reason, season, beauty and gift it holds for our selfgrowth.

About the Author: Jody Johnston Pawel LSW, CFLE is an EFT and LIIFT practitioner who is the CEO of Relationship Toolshop® International Training Institute. She empowers those she serves to become even more conscious, mindful, and effective in their relationships, by using her unique holistic system called the Universal Blueprint® for Relationship Success. By attending Jody’s live or online courses, or engaging her as a coach, you can reprogram unhelpful subconscious belief patterns, prevent common relationship challenges, and find individualized solutions that fit your needs and situation. Having spent the past 30 years as a top-rated speaker and award-winning author, Jody knows the relationship pitfalls to avoid and can show you how to make small changes in your thoughts, words and actions that can produce dramatic --- sometimes even miraculous --- results and help you have stress-free relationships in all areas of your life. Learn more about Jody or contact through RelationshipToolshop.com.