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How I Became a Woman of Balance By Vicki DePasse
SUMMER 2021 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN
A
nd the award for the Music Teacher of the Year goes to….! (applause, applause). It is the annual state music convention. The most important event of the year for many music teachers, an opportunity for professional growth and to acknowledge the hard-working teachers throughout the state. Reasons for the award are given before they call the person up to the stage for their walk of fame. “She was the first to arrive and the last to leave.” “She went above and beyond by attending her students’ extra-curricular events outside of the school day.” “She gave hundreds of extra hours to her school and organization.” I was a young twenty-something teacher just starting out and couldn’t wait to learn from the best of the best. This is who I wanted to be. An award-winning choir director. My mentor from college expected it from me. I immersed myself in the organization. There were years that I was in demand as a young choir director. Being a part of a statewide organization which held its conventions in the very city I lived in, made it easy for me to become the “chair” of several committees, year after year. I was climbing the ladder to eventually be ranked as outstanding in my field. However, what I had been actually observing at these conventions were tired, overworked musicians, who were being acknowledged for depleting themselves of their energy and for giving more time to their jobs than their families should have to endure. I worked a full-time job as a music teacher. I had no choice. Since I could not be a stay-at-home mom, I gave my daughter priority at night. She wanted to be home with me to color, read, and play. I could sense her need to feel grounded by receiving my full attention. So knowing I had to keep my daytime teaching job, I slowly dropped out of chair positions, dropped my role as a community children’s choir director and turned down many requests and offers for extra income and community recognition. I was a mother first, and then a teacher. My actions had to prove this.
