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APRIL 15, 2021 | The| The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 Jewish Home
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Centerfold
Royal Flush Some of the late Prince Philip’s most notable quips and gaffes
“Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed.” – said during the 1981 recession
“Holidays are curious things, aren’t they? You send children to school to get them out of your hair. Then they come back and make life difficult for parents. That is why holidays are set so they are just about the limit of your endurance.”
“How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?” – asked to a Scottish driving instructor
“Dontopedalogy is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it, a science which I have practiced for a good many years.”
“Deaf? If you are near there, no wonder you are deaf.” - speaking to a group of young deaf people at a school located near a loud steel mill
“What do you gargle with – pebbles?” To singer Tom Jones, after the Royal Variety Performance, that the prince didn’t enjoy
“British women can’t cook.” “I am nothing but a bloody amoeba. I am the only man in the country not allowed to give his name to his own children.”
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.” “You look like a suicide bomber.” - to a young policewoman wearing a bulletproof vest “Oh no, I might catch some ghastly disease.” - when asked to stroke a koala “Aren’t most of you descended from pirates?” – asked to a wealthy resident of the Cayman Islands
“Well, you didn’t design your beard too well, did you?”- to a designer who has a small goatee
“Get me a beer. I don’t care what kind it is, just get me a beer!” – on a visit to Rome, when offered wine by the Italian prime minister “The problem with London is the tourists. They cause the congestion. If we could just stop the tourism, we could stop the congestion.” “Young people are the same as they always were. They are just as ignorant.” “You bloody silly fool!” - to a parking lot attendant who failed to recognize him “The man who invented the red carpet needed his head examined.”
You Gotta be Kidding Me! One time, Prince Philip was at a royal event and went to get a drink. He approached the bar and said, “One fruit punch, please!” The bartender replied, “Sir, this is the line for lemonade.” So, Prince Philip hurried over to the next line. He eventually reached the front and said, “One fruit punch for the Prince!” The bartender said, “Your Royalness, I am sorry but this is the wine line.” Frustrated, Prince Philips asked, “Where do I go for fruit punch?!” The bartender replied, “Sorry. There is no punch line!”
