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MAY 6, 2021 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home
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TJH
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Centerfold
Mother’s Dictionary C Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 a.m. too.
C Puddle: A small body of water that draws
other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
C Defense: What you’d better have
C
Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.
around “de yard” if you’re going to let the children play outside.
C Drooling: How teething babies
C Sterilize: What you do to your first
wash their chins.
C Dumbwaiter: One who asks if
the kids would care to order dessert.
C
Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.
baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.
C
Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can’t quite reach anything.
C Full name: What you call your child when you’re
C Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a
C Grandparents: The people who think your
C Top bunk: Where you should never put a child
C Independent: How you want your child to be as
C Verbal: Able to whine in words. C Whodunit: None of the kids who live in your
C Look out: What it’s too late for your child to do by
C Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly
mad at him.
children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right. long as he does everything you say. the time you scream it.
minimum so as to not upset the children. wearing Superman jammies.
house.
into “get a shmatta.”
You Gotta be Kidding Me! David goes on safari in Kenya with his wife, Stephanie, and his mother-in-law, Beth. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, Stephanie awakes to find that her mother, Beth, has disappeared. Rushing to David, she insists on them both trying to find her mother. Sighing heavily, David picks up his rifle and starts to search for Beth. Soon, in a clearing not far from the camp, they come upon a frightening sight. Beth is backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large lion is standing facing her. Stephanie cries out in panic, “David, what are we going to do?” “Nothing,” explains David calmly. “Absolutely nothing, my dearest. The lion got himself into this mess. Let him get himself out of it.”
