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JANUARY 14, 2021 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home
Life C ach
Seeing I to I Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., LMFT, CLC, SDS
W
e don’t all see eye to eye. It’s often just a height thing. But guess what? In that case, we can adjust that, by bending down or standing on a stool. Let’s try to remember that. We can make an effort and try. I know this may be hard to believe, but we don’t all have to agree. Sure, it’s easier if we all do. Yet,
that’s not how we are wired. We are not always all in the same mood to discuss the same thing, eat the same food, or do the same things. And guess what? That’s OK! That’s our starting point. That’s where respect, consideration, and compromise take over. When people are little, we teach these policies: this time we’ll do it
her/his way and next time we’ll do it your way. Let’s take turns. Let’s share. Let’s work it out! What happened to the wisdom of the book “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten”? How far are we wandering from our basic tenets of figuring it out and getting along? Where does it say we have to think alike? We are not clones. We aren’t meant to be. We are meant to find ways to function together. We need to learn to contort differently. Maybe bend a little lower or climb up more steps or even do a little gymnastic flexing. Do you see what kids are capable of today? Flipping backward, and then lifting their feet up over their heads, and winding up back on their feet. With practice,
differently and then work out how to move forward together even though we aren’t on the same page. We do this from the day we have our second kid. We want to help the two of them learn to get along. We also do this, if we are smart, to make our marriages work and thrive. And we need to do this to work with other people successfully. If we want infants to understand this, can we not try to remember it ourselves?! There are lenses, glasses, Lasik surgery, binoculars, even microscopes to help us see better. And maybe sometimes we don’t like what we see. But it doesn’t mean it’s not there. Our challenge is how do we live with it – not to throw away the seeing device or the view we are seeing.
What happened to the wisdom of the book “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten”?
they make it look easy. They get so good at it that they literally can do it anywhere, even without a safety mat. Can we emulate them? Stretch a bit? Be patient with others. See that they have their reasons in seeing things the way they do just as we have our reasons in how we view things. Again, we don’t have to like the differences. Or agree with them. But we can respect their right to think
Rather, it seems, the challenge is to adjust to the reality that there are multiple details and multiple views. And then work to find a way to work together: I to I!
Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach. She can be contacted at 917-705-2004 or rivki@rosenwalds.com.
